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Amanda Knox shares her story of being vilified and shamed by the media, which began when she was arrested for murder 13 years ago. We spoke with Knox to hear her perspective on the gendered nature of public shaming.

This video was originally published on Vice and is being repurposed by Refinery29.

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Transcript
00:00I'm nervous.
00:02Why are you nervous?
00:04I think a lot of people think that I'm used to talking about this
00:09and the fact that it still bothers me is good
00:14because otherwise I wouldn't be able to convey it honestly.
00:20No one can really explain the exact sequence of events
00:23that unfolded here at the house last November.
00:25Amanda Knox and her ex-boyfriend face murder and sexual violence charges
00:30in connection with the death of 21-year-old British student Meredith Kircher.
00:34Well, the house where Meredith was murdered still holds its secret.
00:37In a case being watched so closely in Italy, America and Britain,
00:43who is Amanda Knox?
00:44Is she the innocent, fun-loving American student she claims?
00:48Or a debauched and ruthless young woman?
00:53I think people forget this.
00:54I was having the time of my life in Italy.
00:58Wandering the city and being there when the flea market came to town
01:03and eating roasted chestnuts on the Duomo steps and just people watching.
01:08I was 20. Meredith was 21.
01:11I was the one who barely spoke Italian.
01:13I was the one who was overly enthusiastic about everything.
01:16And Meredith was like, okay, let's go have pizza.
01:21And it was great.
01:22I really appreciated her just being there and being this warm, welcoming presence.
01:30I was into, like, classical Italian music.
01:33And so when I saw this flyer for a classical music concert that was going to be at my university,
01:40I was like, yes.
01:41I invited Meredith to come along with me.
01:44And we went to the music concert, sat next to each other,
01:46and I just made eye contact with this Italian guy who was a nerdy Italian guy.
01:54And, you know, he was cute and I thought he was cute, so I kind of, like, did the eyes
02:03and smile.
02:05And, you know, smile back and you pay attention to the music.
02:09And then at intermission, Meredith had to go and meet her friends.
02:12And so she got up and left, and then Raphael swooped in and took her spot.
02:18And then, you know, from then on out, I was in Puppy Love and we did everything together.
02:24At this point, did you have any inkling that your life would never be the same?
02:32No.
02:33Meredith Kircher was found lying in a pool of blood with her throat slit.
02:38Was it a sex game gone horribly wrong?
02:40That's what Italy's Supreme Court wants to find out.
02:44I felt like I was alone in the world.
02:48I was isolated. I was scared.
02:52I could not make sense what was happening to me, and that made me feel so small.
02:59The most compelling feature of this trial has been the character of Amanda Knox.
03:03Prosecutors believe that Knox murdered her friend as part of a drug-fueled orgy.
03:08Jealous and manipulative, suggesting she was sexually adventurous and somehow deviant.
03:13I was in a jail cell, and I did not have access to international news.
03:21What I didn't understand for a very long time was that the courtroom and the media were feeding each other.
03:33The trial was obsessed with sex.
03:36What they obsessed over was whether or not I had condoms in the bathroom.
03:42Whether or not I had a vibrator.
03:44They came up with a whole theory about a sex game that I orchestrated that ended in Meredith's murder.
03:55British tabloids painted a picture of a wild party girl with a dark side.
04:00Meredith was relaxing in her room, studying, when she was attacked at knife point.
04:04Prosecutors believe that Knox murdered her friend as part of a drug-fueled orgy.
04:09Selecito held her down, and then a second man forced her to have sex.
04:14Amanda Knox cut her throat.
04:16Killed Meredith in a drug-fueled sex game gone awry.
04:20Cut the throat of her friend while involved in an extreme sex game.
04:24That was the only story that they could put in front of people that was compelling enough to carry through
04:31a conviction.
04:33It didn't really hit me, though, how big and all-encompassing the media was until I finally got out.
04:43American co-ed, Amanda Knox walks free.
04:47This was an extraordinary day in Italy and all over the United States.
04:53Immediate liberation. She didn't commit the crime. The words of the judge.
04:57For four years, Amanda Knox has been in jail. Tonight, she's free.
05:00I finally saw it. I finally saw it in the flesh where, on the way out of the prison, I
05:07am being chased by paparazzi.
05:11Amanda, how are you feeling?
05:12In less than two hours, Amanda Knox and her family will arrive here in Seattle.
05:18You know, the last time she was in this airport, four years ago, she was just a student heading off
05:22on a school year abroad.
05:23I thought I was just gonna go home. And, like, for me, it was just overwhelming the smell of home.
05:29I smelled home and it smelled like home. I smelled the grass and the earth and the rain.
05:34And it smelled so different than the dry place that I had been in for so long.
05:39And I was so overwhelmed by the smell. And then suddenly I was like, okay, I guess I have to
05:46talk to, like, a hundred people.
05:48I'm really overwhelmed right now. I was looking down from the airplane and it seemed like everything wasn't real.
06:02So, I just want, my family's the most important thing to me right now and I just want to go
06:07and be with them.
06:11And while I was overwhelmed with this, I was being asked to be ready to stand up to the judgment
06:20of others.
06:22I don't get to be anonymous ever. Ever.
06:27And I think that's a thing that people don't think about very often because most people get to be anonymous
06:33at least sometime.
06:35I don't. I don't get to swipe on Tinder.
06:41I don't get to wear a t-shirt with a skull and crossbones on it.
06:48I don't get to make a dark joke.
06:50I could not be certain that someone befriending me wasn't doing so to get to me.
06:56For me, I think the most drastic challenge was finding love and feeling like someone loved me for me.
07:08What I had to do was juggle being the Amanda Knox in the tabloids and Amanda Knox the just person
07:22doing her thing, living her life.
07:28So, yeah, I went and got a job.
07:31Yeah, I went to university.
07:33Yes, I even made a friend in poetry class.
07:35And yes, I even eventually fell in love.
07:41But I could not do those things if I didn't accept what had happened to me as a part of
07:50who I was.
07:53I want to acknowledge that this stuff is happening.
07:58I want to discuss it in a way where human beings and women can come together with really disparate examples
08:09of the same thing and find common ground and prove that we're not crazy for saying that it's happening.
08:28I want to acknowledge that it's happening.
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