00:00you sent us a uh text this morning you were out with your fiance it was like 10 a.m
00:04and there
00:05was a churro mania like uh food truck almost yeah and uh and you said 10 a.m too early
00:12for churros
00:13but i said no i think it's a perfect time yeah did you like to put y'all like to
00:19put time on
00:19food which is crazy to me yeah i don't know i mean churros are are desserts but it's like a
00:27donut you have a donut in the morning right that's why i was wondering if i can have a donut
00:32like a
00:32jelly filled donut at eight in the morning no one would want a jelly filled donut that's the worst
00:38type of donut i just meant in general you know what i'm saying but who would want a jelly filled
00:45why would you use that as the example nobody likes a jelly filled donut well but a boston cream is
00:50that
00:51jelly like the cream in the boston cream is delicious custard right okay you can custard in the morning
00:57of course okay i got you oh we're not crazy people but why is everything times yo i can't
01:04eat alfredo at lunch i can't eat a steak for breakfast yeah no i like uh see and because
01:09someone just put on the thing so hockey won't have breakfast for dinner no i love breakfast for dinner
01:13in fact i love a bowl of cereal for dinner i like a bowl of raisin bran for dinner so
01:19you can you can
01:20breakfast at dinner and i can't dinner at lunch yes correct that's ridiculous to have fettuccine
01:29alfredo or hibachi at lunch is just it's it's not good they're closer together lunch and dinner
01:36closer together than breakfast and dinner i just don't like the thought of eating that much
01:44food for lunch it's too heavy yeah you want to be in your sauce sitting in your stomach all day
01:54long
01:54and it probably is healthier i know like uh uh in spain don't they eat a big meal kind of
02:01midday
02:01rather than late it makes sense but it's just who we are americans our our dinner is our big meal
02:07so
02:08take it easy on the lunch tubby back in the day it was breakfast before you go out and do
02:15manual
02:15labor then you're done and you eat dinner and then supper later on is leftover dinner a little something
02:22just to put on your stomach you're supposed to have a little uh like something to stick to your bones
02:26in
02:26the morning yeah before you go out for a hard day's work i love me a grit goodness gracious i
02:31ate grits
02:31this weekend did you yep shrimp and grits at um at the omni hotel at the omni in atlanta
02:41that was a lot of dale but
02:48you don't like jelly filled donuts huh hawk i do not yeah i'm not a fan that shocks me there
02:54you seem
02:55like a like a jelly guy no i like uh uncrustables with the strawberry jam those are the best food
03:02item ever created i did uh did i text you guys this i had dinner with after the graduation dj
03:08and
03:09roommates and parents and uh i did a 20 minute bit on uncrustables they must think that i am
03:18chris broussard talking about someone who's not intelligent they they didn't know what hit them
03:27because they don't i don't know if they know i'm a radio guy they certainly don't know i have bits
03:31i did my entire uncrustables bit you pulled it out on them oh i thought it was brilliant i was
03:39just
03:40met with silence and quizzical looks and didn't deter me though those are the best bits
03:50stick with it man you tighten them up nobody had an answer i forget sometimes that like i'm not always
03:57doing the show like i'll be out with my fiance's friends and i'll just get right into a bit and
04:04they
04:04they don't think any they don't understand it they don't understand what i'm doing they don't think
04:09it's funny but bag of bits baby let's go bag of bits all right guys um the calves and the
04:20pistons
04:20play tonight just to round out your headlines 8 p.m detroit leads a series two to one it's in
04:24cleveland games on nbc and peacock the lakers play oklahoma city at 10 30 the thunder lead that series
04:33three games so did you get the churros i didn't they were closed oh i was really going to go
04:39up
04:39there order like two or three of them just to send you a video sure churros at 9 58 in
04:44the morning
04:45right uh nothing better too than walking around i had to make a little pit stop at walmart 10 a
04:52.m
04:52bag of churros walking around walmart nothing better and uh i don't you know and and this is judging
04:59people but the people who walk around while pushing a cart at a store eating something yeah man i just
05:08fine it's you know it's my mother coming out of me there but i do judge those people like you
05:15can't
05:16shop without eating something i i'm they they all of them look the same you can't take off these 40
05:23minutes you got to eat for 40 minutes walking around buying water i don't like being that judgment
05:29judgmental but judge monday monday i don't like being judge monday on this but first of all crowder
05:35you're not exactly usain bolt with a shopping cart and i'd like to make that a new segment though
05:41judge monday on mondays i judge other humans and i have no business judging other humans i have
05:51multiple uh issues but i want to be judge monday but but i don't i don't understand what what you're
05:57doing and i'm down for the judging segment but i don't understand what you're doing with the person
06:02who opens up let me give you an example you walk into publics and what's one thing people do when
06:08they walk into a supermarket they overspend because they're hungry and they're just buying things that
06:14they don't necessarily need but if you just snack on something while you're pushing the cart i do it
06:21with popcorn chicken walk into publics go to the back i get the the little box of popcorn chicken
06:26it's popping right into my mouth that's called stealing not if you buy it at the end you haven't
06:31paid for it you haven't paid for it or the cup i get the cup the little the cup so
06:37just you can can
06:37i drink some orange juice walking around i haven't paid for yet yeah but in other words why do you
06:42have
06:43to be eating when you're performing a function because if i'm sitting on my couch him in middle
06:48school if i'm sitting on my couch watching something
07:02question answered a lot of people think those are drumsticks those are churros
07:11i don't understand if i'm sitting at my house watching tv i'll munch on something if i'm in the
07:17car on a long drive maybe i'll munch on something if i'm walking around a theme park i'll munch on
07:23something well theme park i understand at any point in my life it's acceptable for me to just snack on
07:30something but inside the supermarket where there's food where i'm shopping for food it's unacceptable
07:37for me to munch on something while i'm pushing the shopping cart why i don't know but that's the way
07:44i judge people yeah i do it too we know i will assume you look kind of like solana in
07:55middle school
07:57i didn't bigger no skinnier yeah jimmy's got the bichl yeah yeah jimmy's got the bichl you haven't
08:06seen my volleyball pictures where are you keeping it under your shirt he keeps a volleyball with him
08:17i'm just teasing jimmy it happens to be judge monday and i'm fully in character
08:25i'll tell you i judge people who go to the beach like jimmy did over the weekend and wear a
08:31shirt
08:32oh i hate that yeah but you don't want to see me with my shirt off
08:36i'm doing it for you more than me
08:41but then then go to the mall someone wanted to go to the beach i didn't but now i'm being
08:47a nice
08:48guy by keeping my shirt on so you don't have to witness it it's hot as hell cut it loose
08:55well if it's hot as hell you take your shirt off take your shirt off
08:58no but there's a shirt i can wear in the in the heat right but regardless if you can or
09:05can't it's
09:05still going to be hotter with a shirt on than off jimmy you wear a starter jacket if you want
09:10to at the
09:10beach what are you talking about but you could you can you said it sir i can wear at the
09:16beach
09:17it's wear whatever you want at the beach no like we get you jimmy you're wearing it to protect your
09:21body from the sun but also i'm the whitest person in the world i don't wear a shirt at the
09:26beach i just
09:27put on sunblock like everybody else
09:33i put i put sunblock on my face yeah jimmy pull out the breast jimmy you're at the beach
09:43you know what i don't like oh i don't know what we call his truth mondays no judge monday judge
09:49monday i judge people that if i'm playing catch with my kid your kid comes and jumps in the catch
09:54game i don't know this little bastard call him back to you i don't want to play catch with two
09:58kids i'm
09:59playing catch with my kid that i birthed yes get your damn kid away from me
10:06you do that did my brain stop working for a second or did he cut out
10:13he he did not i think your brain stopped working
10:17i didn't hear what you said oh i'll tell you what i do if i see like a couple of
10:22kids playing catch or
10:23a father and son playing catch i'm steal the ball guy oh my god i would drop kick you in
10:28the
10:28back i am i am watch him i get the i get like how it's going so i know you
10:38know what the the
10:39frequency is and then i'm you don't expect it jump in front steal the ball guy you're like you turn
10:45into to darrell revis yes i am revis island if you're having a casual catch on the beach at the
10:53park because you know i'll take a picture of any group guy yeah i'm also steal jump in steal the
11:00ball
11:01guys steal the intercept me and my son yes yes people love it they love that and when the little
11:08kid does run up and stand with his hands up he doesn't know he's playing defense the whole time
11:13i'm never throwing him the ball i'm gonna point and let chaz go either way chaz is always the
11:18receiver i'm also if i see father son playing catch and i'm coming up behind i'm knock the ball out
11:26of
11:26your hand while you're throwing guy you're strip sack guy yeah yeah hey keep your head on a swivel
11:35you're just a terrorist dude
11:39i know you had the police call door you before they turn around i go judge monday
11:47and then i move on
11:54oh that's crazy now we're judging monday we were at uh pier 66 the hotel in fort lauderdale
12:01you can buy floats like buy floats for your kids and if your kid gets out the float other kids
12:08just
12:08think they don't know the float belongs they just see a float and they get on it right i'll go
12:11snatch
12:12a float from a baby so fast hey hey that's mine that's my come in you mean you like you
12:17rented it
12:18for the day no no no you have to purchase it it's yours and then the other kid so then
12:23chaz
12:24a five-year-old doesn't care he'll just get out the float and walk away
12:27so then i'm now i got my eye on this 40 float so then some little boy runs up and
12:32tries to get in
12:33the float no jack hey that's my float bring it over here and i make the kid bring me my
12:37float
12:39that's fair though yeah yeah yeah no no but i do it very nicely
12:43hey when you're done with that float just so you know that's mine so just make sure it comes over
12:47here
12:47when you're done with it no i paid 40 that was 43 that's my 43 that's my float bring it
12:54right here
12:54because you just stole it and i'm gonna call security on you little jacob
13:01what about when you go to the beach with like a group of people maybe family maybe some friends
13:06you take beach chairs other people don't and then they're trying to sneak onto your beach chair when
13:12you go into the water then you come back now they're just there on the beach chair and i don't
13:18know like i don't want to have to tell them to get out of the beach chair but hey you
13:21didn't bring a
13:22beach chair like sit sit your ass on the towel dude and you know them yeah like they're a friend
13:28or family hey you didn't bring that beach chair i brought the beach chair i don't want your sweaty
13:32ass on my beach chair leroy horde says about the uh grocery store eaters i want to punch those people
13:41in the face it's a supermarket not a restaurant 100 percent leroy yeah it doesn't make sense there's
13:49literally areas around the supermarket for you to sit down and eat where at every single
13:55supermarket now well that's a restaurant area for that's the restaurant the front of whole foods yes
14:00but there's no yeah but you buy it first you buy it you own the food at that point by
14:05the time you
14:05sit down to eat it you own it as long as i pay for the food that i've consumed there
14:11is literally
14:11nothing legal about me eating well then that's like saying shoplifting is okay as if i pay it back
14:17at some point i'm not leaving publics without paying for the item that i ate shoplifters
14:24literally leave the store without paying for the item but you're saying uh if i pay it at some point
14:29doesn't matter pay whenever before i leave before i leave grab some juice walk out come back next week
14:35and give them a couple bucks you'll be fine there's nothing better than popping open little bag of
14:40grapes as i'm just walking through a little healthy snack while i'm getting my steps you haven't even
14:44rinse the grapes oh yeah that's bs you don't you don't rinse the grapes you don't wash your fruit
14:50off i don't wash any fruit for what that's why you always sick look at you i mean now it
14:56all makes
14:57sense that's why you fell off that ladder he is a pesticide baby we gotta wrap it up we're going
15:03way
15:03too late this is a good walkthrough for judge monday this is good i like it good yeah good bit
15:11well me too will be uh that's a different segment
15:18jimmy just blink twice but it's yeah it's gonna get it's gonna get deep our me too segment is gonna
15:23be deep text me jimmy
15:33your weather 89 degrees right now in south florida tonight the lows will be in the 70s this weather
15:40report is brought to you by tornado roofing and contracting storm season such a great text
15:45on the text machine this guy is so right he goes i get overly annoyed by people who struggle to
15:50use an
15:50atm every time they use it it's like the first time ever they should have certification that you
15:57have to pass before you're allowed to use an atm that guy's so right i don't understand there's
16:03literally like five maneuvers at an atm i'm always behind someone that canceled i hear sounds i've never
16:13heard and they need you what hey move it along they don't listen they can't read they don't read
16:26your balance oh you have to check your balance trust me you don't need to be taking cash balance inquiry
16:33get your ass from in front of me balance inquiry
16:46make sure your home is ready get your free roof and window estimate today visit tornado roofing.com
16:52all right uh i don't know what we're gonna do next but it will not top that
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