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00:02Tickets this way for the Chopsworth Express!
00:06Cormann Morris Pike is making a mess of the lives that we do!
00:12By him up the stairs and kids they're convinced
00:16aren't actually theirs.
00:18Stay away!
00:18What sounds on earth could ever replace?
00:22Kids needing money are wise in your face.
00:25Cos these people reckon, and me included,
00:28is why pubs and drugs were kindly invented.
00:32To calm us all down.
00:34Stop us going mental.
00:36These are taxable mistakes.
00:39Basic essentials.
00:41We are worth every penny.
00:43Grinding your axes.
00:45You shit on our heads!
00:47But you pay the taxes.
00:53Imagine a Britain without Chopsworth Puccaneers
00:56would come on your face for the price of a beer.
00:59Make poverty history!
01:01Cheaper drugs now!
01:02Make poverty history!
01:05Cheaper drugs now!
01:08Let's go!
01:10Why?
01:11Mama!
01:17After all these years of marriage, I can truly hand on heart say
01:21better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
01:25Got a load of bollocks.
01:27Mimi.
01:29Patrick.
01:30It's what I need, Mimi.
01:31New start, new challenges.
01:33I know.
01:34For both of us.
01:37Come on, or we're gonna be late.
01:41Patrick has had a brilliant business opportunity offered to him in Ireland.
01:45Nightclubs.
01:46Two in Belfast, one in Lisbon.
01:48I've always turned the offer down before because it means relocating.
01:52We want to move on with our lives separately.
01:54It won't be necessary.
01:57It's a wedding certificate.
01:59I'm afraid to say it's fake.
02:03You what?
02:04It's not worth the paper it's written on.
02:06But we signed it at the church with Father Jim.
02:10Therein lies the problem.
02:12Come here, you fucking bastard!
02:15Come here!
02:18Father Jim wasn't a father.
02:21Not according to Interpol.
02:23And this means?
02:24You can't actually be granted a divorce because you were never married.
02:33You what?!
02:35Carl, give me a ring as soon as you can.
02:37Ah!
02:39Good timing.
02:40Stella's having her afternoon nap, but we're late enough as it is.
02:43The what?
02:43Book club.
02:44Oh, fucking hell.
02:45Till when?
02:47Willy Wonka's on the telly at five.
02:48She'd love that.
02:49Oh, fucking delightful.
02:50That'll be all right.
02:51And if you're good...
02:52Yes?
02:52...I might go by the offie on the way home, grab your four pack.
02:55Oh, well, just give us a few quid then for some six.
02:58I haven't had a smoke in over three hours.
03:00No.
03:01Come on.
03:01You need to tell him you're not a cash cow.
03:03Stay out of it, Mum.
03:03Milking you dry.
03:04Yes, stay out of it, Mum.
03:05I bet she's got some cash stashed away.
03:07Balance your budget with a bit more conviction, Frank.
03:10And?
03:10And I might take a look at increasing your overdraft.
03:13Okay, sir.
03:16Stella's asleep in her cot.
03:20In the eyes of God, I'm no better than a fucking prosy.
03:24And what about Mandy and Fagel?
03:27Denied access through the pearly gates.
03:29Stuck up there in pagatry forever.
03:32Whose fault's that?
03:33The prick that dressed up in a cassock and pretended to be a priest.
03:35Wrong answer.
03:37It's your fault.
03:39What?
03:41I wouldn't wipe your own arse with this.
03:49Get out.
03:49Get out.
03:51Where did you find Father Jim?
03:53I can't remember.
03:54I don't know.
03:55He was a friend of a client.
03:56I was in a rush.
03:57You made me rush.
03:58Because I didn't wanna walk down the aisle in me third trimester.
04:01Yeah.
04:01That's why.
04:04You did it on purpose.
04:06Are you taking a piss?
04:08How was I supposed to know?
04:09It all makes sense now.
04:11You thought I was tricking you into getting married.
04:13So you picked any aisle Tom, Dick or Jim just to shut me up.
04:18And the kids?
04:20They're all bastards.
04:21Tell me something I don't know.
04:26We'll have to get married again.
04:27What?
04:28We'll have to get married again.
04:30No.
04:30No.
04:30You wanted this divorce and how can we if because of you we were never married in the
04:36first place?
04:41We do it properly this time Paddy.
04:43For the kids sake.
04:45No one need no shit all about this.
04:48As far as anyone's concerned the divorce has gone through and we're happy as Larry.
04:55You have to meet me tonight away from here to sort this out.
04:59So much for being amicable.
05:09Hey everybody.
05:10You alright Dad?
05:11Hey, come with the world, sir.
05:13It's official.
05:14I'm a free man.
05:16And more importantly, I'm a free woman.
05:22Am I right?
05:24It just needs to sink in.
05:27It's not as if they've only just split up.
05:29I'd rather just split up.
05:30Just aware of all orphans.
05:34We're all orphans.
05:35We're all orphans.
05:37Let's go.
06:07You OK? Never better.
06:11Even got myself a date later.
06:13Fantastic. He's a lucky fella.
06:16Met him last week in the ready meal section in Tesco.
06:19Hey, what's he like?
06:20Fucking gorgeous.
06:22What's his name?
06:24Jack Beam.
06:38Did he don't even buy it?
06:40No way.
06:42Seriously?
06:43That's what he said.
06:55It's understandable if you feel bad about your mum and dad, you know.
06:58We used to have tea together every Sunday.
07:01Dad was never home in the week and Sundays was the only day it was.
07:04Even if it was just fish finger butters, it didn't matter.
07:07So long as we was all there around the table.
07:10My favourite time of the whole week.
07:11Some people never have what you had.
07:13Move on.
07:14That's just life.
07:15That's what families do.
07:17What's the point in marriage or families if they're all just going to collapse anyway?
07:19But you can't say that.
07:21Yeah, I can.
07:22I'd rather not bother if it's all going to go tits up.
07:25Save myself the myva.
07:26I stick to being single.
07:35Come on.
07:37We're going out.
07:37What?
07:38Don't argue.
07:39Just get ready.
07:40I call the drum machine
07:42Taking the beds to the heads
07:45Oh, drag-out, drug-out
07:48Suicide
07:49In your tattoos, your eyes
07:52Stating his name
07:53Again
08:00Well, that's a good little girl, Stella.
08:02Your brother will be back soon.
08:03Daddy won't be long, sweetheart.
08:06Ow.
08:06You're brilliant.
08:41About by midnight or you're grounded.
08:43Too much cleavage.
08:44Taking the piss.
08:46I can never have enough cleavage.
08:49I beg to differ.
08:51See you later.
08:53See you, Mum.
08:57Shane, come on.
08:59Dad's house.
09:00Lad's night in.
09:10What the fuck?
09:15Yeah, buddy.
09:18Get that beer out of me, Dad.
09:20The boss pies are all the rage, man.
09:36What the fuck are we celebrating?
10:00Rosalita?
10:01No.
10:02Okay, okay, I know.
10:03So, the barnet, before you say it, it is dyed, but I prefer to use the word coloured.
10:10I'm not Rosalita.
10:11Now, I've shaved a few years off me age.
10:13I thought if I told the truth, you might not turn up.
10:17And I had it just a few inches to me height.
10:20What do you think?
10:21What do you think?
10:22Good enough for Tom Cruise?
10:23Excuse me?
10:24It's me.
10:25Herbert!
10:26I'm not Rosalita.
10:28I'm not Rosalita.
10:29I never will be Rosalita.
10:30Do you understand?
10:31Now, do me a favour, you desperate piece of shit.
10:35Do one.
10:36Although, I prefer the words, fuck off!
10:47Oh, two!
10:50Go.
10:53Go.
10:58Go.
11:00Go.
11:03Go, go, go.
11:05Go, go.
11:06Herbert?
11:06What are you?
11:07Rosalita!
11:08What are you doing?
11:10Pleased to meet you, Rosalina.
11:12But I'm afraid I'm not Herbert.
11:14You'll certainly do, though.
11:16So don't tell me you've been stood up as well.
11:18Kind of.
11:19Well, can I get you a drink to make up for it?
11:22Here we go.
11:23Gay?
11:26Married?
11:29Might have known.
11:31Actually, no.
11:33Not ever.
11:37Well, then.
11:38What's your problem?
11:42Nothing, sweetheart.
11:43It's just normally I'm the one that buys the drinks.
11:48What would you like?
11:49I'll have a vodka lime and lemonade, please.
11:50Double.
11:51Why not?
11:52Good.
12:08I'll get these.
12:11Come on, I'm sorry.
12:13I'll have to put someone off in 10 seconds or next.
12:15I'll be asking you if you come here often.
12:19Or would you prefer the funny uncle?
12:22If this bar is a meat market, you must be the prime rib.
12:26It's not funny, though.
12:31Someone actually said that to me once.
12:33What, you serious?
12:34All my life.
12:36Proper dick.
12:39Gary.
12:47Come on through.
12:51There's beer in the fridge.
12:53Help yourself.
13:05Did it all myself.
13:06What?
13:08This place.
13:09Did it myself.
13:11It's mint.
13:18I'm an architect.
13:20Yeah.
13:22What about you?
13:24I've got my own company.
13:26Oh, doing what?
13:26Credit control.
13:28You know, high end of the market.
13:29You know, big rewards on the back of the credit crunch.
13:32It can be ruthless, but I love it.
13:35Yeah, it sounds like you do.
13:36No, people always said I never do anything with my life.
13:39You know, so I wanted to prove them all wrong.
13:41Yeah, that's all I did.
13:43Oh, God, you bastard!
13:45We won't, Josh.
13:47Slap.
13:49Not wrong with ambition.
13:52So?
13:54What are you into?
13:56Just a snog to start with.
13:58Bit of massage, some oral.
14:00I prefer to 69.
14:01I don't usually go in for penetration on the first date,
14:04unless maybe anal beads.
14:06If you've got them.
14:08I meant music.
14:11Oh.
14:19Morning, Frank.
14:21Toast?
14:24Yeah.
14:28If it's no trouble.
14:30No trouble at all.
14:39I don't think so, sunshine.
14:43No trouble at all.
14:57How dare you!
14:59Fucking hell!
14:59I don't think Libby would give you a second glance
15:02if she knew you stole my savings.
15:04Oh, yeah, and what about you?
15:05What is it for benefit fraud these days?
15:07Ten years?
15:08Max!
15:08You give those back!
15:10Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
15:11Are you never satisfied, woman?
15:13You've got a roof over your head.
15:14You'd be fucked if it wasn't for me.
15:17Desolate.
15:18Homeless.
15:19Doesn't give you the right to take my money.
15:21Oh, yes, it does, sunshine.
15:23And anyway, what's an old crow like you
15:24going to spend the money on fucking corn plasters?
15:27I am your landlord.
15:30Eh?
15:31Benefit cards.
15:32Money.
15:33It's mine.
15:35Comprende?
15:46Is this your idea of revenge, Izzy?
15:49Oh, not satisfied with ruining our first marriage?
15:52You want to fuck this one up as well?
15:54I got distracted.
15:56Oh.
15:59Father Tony, a legitimate priest,
16:01is trying to raise cash for his new church roof.
16:03And I said we might be able to help him out.
16:07You want to put things right?
16:08Meet me there at half ten.
16:13Come on, shift!
16:18Mimi, Rosalita, Rosalita, Mimi.
16:22Don't be late.
16:23Leave the dog at home.
16:30I'll be straight with you.
16:32I can't do it.
16:34It's against all we stand for here, Mimi.
16:36You know that.
16:37God won't mind.
16:38How could he mind?
16:39I can understand what this means to you.
16:41But a blessing for me isn't going to take away the fact
16:42that your children remain illegitimate.
16:44With respect, Father, we didn't come here for a lecture.
16:47Don't!
16:47You're supposed to be a man of religion.
16:49An ambassador of goodwill.
16:51What a load of crap.
16:53You can't say crap in church.
16:55I'll say whether I like church or no church.
16:57It wouldn't hurt you to help us out, would it?
17:01Let's cut to the chase, shall we?
17:03We know all about you, Lord.
17:05Us lot?
17:06Throwing your weight around the population it chats with
17:08doesn't mean you can throw it about around God.
17:12Not here, pal.
17:13Who are you calling, pal?
17:14You don't scare me.
17:15That's because you've already got the fear of God firmly implanted.
17:17Paddy!
17:21To think that someone would actually dress up
17:23and try and imitate this hypocrisy.
17:24It's not his fault.
17:30You should leave.
17:34Now.
17:36I should have had an abortion when I had the chance.
17:39Because you're not fit to be a father.
17:42I'm sorry, Jesus.
17:43I didn't mean what I said about the abortion.
17:46I'd have had a hundred of his kids.
17:49I'll say ten Hail Marys.
18:06You're not staying for a brew, Hot Lips.
18:08Is there any point?
18:11I like you.
18:15I like you too, if you must know.
18:20You could at least leave me your number.
18:23What, so I can keep checking me phone and wonder why you've not called?
18:27It's not my style.
18:32You call me then.
18:34Later.
18:38Let's go for a drink.
18:41Nothing heavy.
18:44Hmm?
18:59Sorry I'm late.
19:01I've been stinging some fit bird.
19:02Come on, what's his name?
19:03Right.
19:04The Reillies.
19:05Old pals of mine.
19:07They've got a few burger vans dotted about the place.
19:09Some new firm's been treading on their patch up at Hilltop.
19:12They're paying us to get rid of him.
19:16What?
19:18Well, no.
19:20We're already on to it.
19:21It was Mum's suggestion.
19:22She wanted to make sure we handle the business side of things here from now on.
19:25My contact, though.
19:27What, are you going away, though?
19:31Anything else?
19:32No, not at the moment.
19:35Right then.
19:36Let's break it now.
19:54Gary, I was just wondering, do you fancy that drink?
19:58I mean, just a drink, you know, now else.
20:01Although that's up to you.
20:02I'm easy.
20:03But listen, if you're busy and that, it's no hassle.
20:06You know, I mean, there's plenty of other stuff I've got to do, like, um, like, um, well, I've got
20:12to go to the doctors.
20:13Not that I've got herpes or nothing, you know, it's just like a medical, like, once every six months, Jen.
20:18Come on.
20:33Don't say I'd cheer myself up with a bit of make-believe.
20:37Because that's all our marriage was, fiction.
20:42It was real for us.
20:49Tell him he's got two days.
20:51If it's not shifted by then, things are going to get really nasty.
20:55Right, yeah.
21:02Oi, I thought we told you to be gone by Wednesday.
21:05You taking a piss or what?
21:09Since when did architects flip burgers?
21:11Did you ever love me?
21:13Or did you just marry me because it was the right thing to do?
21:15Course I loved you.
21:17Ireland.
21:18Why exactly?
21:19Business.
21:20Or pleasure.
21:21You've got some slut tucked back in the homeland, haven't you?
21:25I just wanted to impress.
21:27What is this?
21:27It's your credit control.
21:30I branch a bit, yeah?
21:32The flat?
21:33It's my brother's.
21:35I'm minding it till he gets back next week.
21:38So you were just stringing me along with all your lies?
21:41It's a fucking Arlene, isn't it?
21:42Arlene?
21:44What's an Arlene?
21:45Away enough times on business.
21:47You were never here for the birth of any of our kids.
21:50You could even have a second family.
21:52You've lost it, you mad bitch.
21:54Well, you know everything now.
21:56I haven't got any more secrets.
21:58Vicky!
22:02Look, just like it is a proper mental bastard, I'll fuck you up.
22:06Can't you tell him that you know me?
22:09Tell him about us.
22:10That's what I said, Liggy.
22:14I'm not the only one with a secret, am I?
22:21I've given him 48 hours.
22:23They'll be gone, alright.
22:34You better find a priest to marry us.
22:36So we can get divorced.
22:38Because if I have to find one,
22:40I swear, Paddy,
22:42it'll be to perform the viaticum
22:44before packing you in a box back to Ireland.
23:04I didn't think I'd see you again.
23:07Look,
23:08I panicked.
23:09A box of chockeys or sunflowers would have been nice.
23:17Why didn't you tell me you were Maguire?
23:21Does it matter?
23:23No.
23:25Not at all.
23:29So you don't mind about the...
23:30What?
23:31This?
23:34You can give me another one later if you like.
23:39So we're still by friends then?
23:41God, yeah.
23:43I'm shagging Paddy Maguire.
23:55Just promise me you'll keep it still.
23:58Now,
23:58you know how it is.
23:59I...
23:59I like to keep a low profile.
24:02Yeah?
24:09Paddy!
24:10Yeah?
24:12When me brother gets back,
24:14I'm gonna be homeless.
24:17I wanted to ask you if I can stay at yours.
24:23Look,
24:24I know we've only been together for a couple of days,
24:26but it doesn't have to be heavy.
24:28Thanks.
24:30Just think of it as
24:32keeping on the sofa.
24:33But you'll be in my bed.
24:36Yeah.
24:37Top, innit?
24:39I thought we were just having a bit of fun.
24:41Yeah, we are.
24:42Aren't we?
24:45Yeah.
24:46So,
24:48let me kip at yours then.
24:51Keep things like this.
24:54Why mess with the momentum?
25:01I'm shagging Paddy Maguire.
25:03Paddy Maguire.
25:04Paddy Maguire.
25:05Paddy Maguire.
25:07Paddy Maguire.
25:14Paddy Maguire.
25:17What's with the face?
25:20Nothing much.
25:22I just fucked up, that's all.
25:25I've said something I shouldn't have
25:26and it's too late to put it right.
25:29Take it from me,
25:29it's never too late to put things right.
25:33What about you, Mum?
25:37I know what I did was wrong
25:38and I lived with a lot of regrets,
25:39but what can I do?
25:41That it crippled me.
25:42What's the point in that?
25:44Got a life to live.
25:46Have to make it work.
25:50Do you regret?
25:53Mum?
25:56I could never regret that, son.
26:11Where's the fucking fire?
26:14Civic Hall's got a slot.
26:16When?
26:17Four o'clock today.
26:21He's been helping me.
26:22Listen!
26:23All right, all right.
26:24What exactly is it you want me to do?
26:26I'm going to be there
26:27when he sets you up the aisle.
26:28He's going to be best man.
26:30Handmaid of honour.
26:32Right.
26:33I best ask shit loads to sell.
26:35Could at least look happy about it.
26:39Civic Hall!
26:41I did the best I could
26:43on short notice.
26:46But we're religious!
26:49Patrick, please!
26:51Patrick!
26:54We do this or we don't.
26:56Your call.
26:58I know what your game is.
27:00Because of my faith,
27:02you thought I'd call it off.
27:04Not going to work.
27:06We're getting married
27:07at four o'clock today
27:08whether you like it or not.
27:11Am I making myself clear?
27:37Excuse me.
27:38Oh, I don't think so.
27:40What?
27:41Do you mind?
27:48Well?
27:58Tony Barton.
27:59Remember him?
28:01He knew you
28:03since you were a wee babby.
28:05They gave him four months to live,
28:07poor bastard.
28:08He came straight round.
28:11Signed it over to me.
28:12As far as they know,
28:14he's still alive.
28:15The system paid us nothing
28:17when your father dumped me
28:18and left the two of us
28:19alone and skint.
28:21I do this for you and me.
28:24Who do you think's been paying
28:26for your extra medication
28:27all these years?
28:29It's my revenge.
28:30You understand that,
28:32don't you?
28:33Well, Frank violated that arrangement.
28:36He deserved it.
28:38I did it to save you.
28:41From what?
28:42That joker.
28:44When are you going to realise
28:45that he's the man I love?
28:47You love his family.
28:49You've still got them.
28:50Stop complaining.
28:54Liam,
28:55your dad's been arrested.
28:57I know.
28:57Carl told me.
28:58Laters.
29:03I need money
29:04to bail him out,
29:05mother.
29:05Where is it?
29:06Where is the money?
29:09Oh,
29:09for my dead body!
29:15She just doesn't want me
29:16to be happy.
29:17Every time.
29:19I don't know
29:19what's wrong with her.
29:20Well, you know,
29:21we could put her in a home.
29:23You know,
29:23or euthanasia.
29:24One-way ticket
29:25and a cuckoo clock.
29:27Look,
29:27the minute your bail is out
29:28of here, babe,
29:29that's what we'll do.
29:30Hey.
29:33We can't afford the bail.
29:35What?
29:37No!
29:38They'll cart me off to prison
29:39if we can't pay.
29:41I can't cope with prison.
29:42You don't know
29:43what it's like.
29:45Oh,
29:46okay,
29:46you do.
29:47Look,
29:48your mother
29:48has got money
29:49stashed away
29:50somewhere.
29:51You can find them.
29:52Just get me out of here.
29:53I'll see what I can do,
29:54but I might need
29:55a bit of time.
29:57Oh,
29:58time?
29:59Mine's running out.
30:00You know what?
30:01They're transferring
30:02some fucking nutter
30:03from another prison
30:04to my olden cell
30:05before his trial.
30:06Calls himself
30:06shit burglar
30:08or burger
30:09or something like that.
30:10His last five cellmates.
30:12And if I don't get out
30:14of here soon,
30:14I'm going to be number six,
30:15aren't I?
30:21Drices.
30:23Mum's getting married today.
30:24I heard her telling Dad.
30:25What?
30:26Who the old tip?
30:27That new fellow.
30:28What,
30:28the one from the supermarket?
30:30Jack Beam?
30:32They've only been on
30:33a couple of dates.
30:34We've not even met this bloke.
30:35Is she playing?
30:36She's on the rebound.
30:37What's Dad said?
30:38Well,
30:39he didn't look best pleased.
30:40Not really.
30:41Any of his business
30:42now they're divorced.
30:43It is if he still loves her.
30:44Yeah,
30:45and what makes you think that?
30:46Apart from the fact
30:47you've never left
30:48your mam's tit.
30:51something he said,
30:52actually.
30:54We've got all emotional
30:54and that misty-eyed
30:56over a man before.
30:58But we've got to stop it
30:59for mam as much as dad.
31:00She needs to make
31:01her own mistakes,
31:02Mika.
31:03It's been a week,
31:03Karen.
31:04I mean,
31:05ain't getting married
31:05after a week
31:06more than just a mistake.
31:08Who is this geezer?
31:09Where does he live?
31:23Gorgeous.
31:34Gorgeous.
31:35Ready?
31:46Is that the last?
31:48Sorry.
31:52You cock,
31:53you didn't turn the page over.
31:55Bullets!
31:56Fucking hell!
31:57There's only one option left.
31:59Come on.
32:02Love is patient.
32:04Love is kind
32:05and not jealous.
32:06Love does not brag
32:08and is not arrogant.
32:09Did you choose
32:10these words?
32:11Fuck.
32:15Love does not
32:16rejoice in unrighteousness.
32:17Love rejoices
32:19in the truth.
32:26Love endures
32:27all things.
32:28Love is not provoked,
32:30does not take into account
32:32wrong suffering.
32:33Wait!
32:35Mum?
32:37Dad?
32:37What the fuck?
32:38Look, I'm sorry
32:39it's not what you...
32:44I love you, Mother.
32:46I couldn't let it go.
32:49We've...
32:49both made big mistakes,
32:51but...
32:52I think I speak for all of us
32:54when I say thank you.
32:58This...
32:59is the happiest day of my life.
33:02Our lives.
33:04I love you, Mimi.
33:09Sorry.
33:11I now pronounce you
33:12man and wife.
33:34I think because Frank's not here,
33:36things will go back
33:36to the way they were.
33:39Not happening.
33:41Let's go.
33:43Let's go.
33:47Oh,
33:48let's go.
34:09You going off?
35:16I know my son and I know when he's
35:19distracted by something.
35:21Why don't you ask her over for tea?
35:25God, Mickey, she's not a fucking vegan, is she?
35:28No, we're not.
35:30Have you told her you love her yet?
35:32Nah.
35:33Don't you think it's about time you did?
35:35I think I fucked her up by telling a few lies.
35:38And she's fallen for it.
35:41If you want the relationship to work, tell her the truth.
35:45It's the only basis for a solid future.
35:48She must like you for you.
35:52Are you okay, everyone?
35:56I think it's probably time that the happy couple had a little bit of time on their own.
36:01Yeah, you can have your own room back.
36:03Hey!
36:06Oh, smash it, lad.
36:09Hey!
36:10Hey!
36:22My ass is in bulk.
36:24Don't ruin the momentum.
36:26How are we going to get out of this?
36:28I don't know.
36:29You should have just told them the truth.
36:31What?
36:32Oh, aye.
36:33Songs.
36:34We found out our marriage wasn't real.
36:35But we got married again, so you'd all be legitimised.
36:38Do you know how fucked up that sounds?
36:40Nothing's changed.
36:41Still want a divorce.
36:44Okay.
36:45And I'm still leaving tomorrow.
36:58Yeah, I'll get on this.
37:00I just had a call.
37:01You know that prick on the burger band?
37:04He's only been blagging to people that he's shagging Paddy Maguire.
37:09Fuck the cock.
37:26How could you betray me?
37:27I had no choice.
37:29Just tell me where the money is and I'll post your bail.
37:33Dead simple.
37:35Over my dead body.
37:39The basin of my commode.
37:46Libby.
37:48Libby!
37:51Libby!
38:04Oh, my God.
38:07Oh, honey, man.
38:12You carried that round in your pocket for two years, you know.
38:19You've got a confession to me.
38:21It's not from Giant's Causeway.
38:25Our Shane got the real one stuck up his nose when you was away in Belfast.
38:30Nearly had a thrombo.
38:33Got our Jamie to go out and find another stone when we got back.
38:38So I walked around with this in my pocket for nothing, then.
38:44I wouldn't let you wash this, remember?
38:47Oh, God.
38:49My tears.
38:50You wanted to keep my tears.
38:52The day of Lennon was shot.
38:54Nothing to do with Lennon.
38:57Oh, Jamie said his first word that day.
39:00Mum!
39:01His first word was da.
39:06Mandy's first word was dad.
39:13Cheers, mate.
39:14Cheers very much.
39:18Feel good shagging the cock of Chatsworth.
39:20Eh?
39:21You shouting the odds off about me.
39:23I said keep stunned, didn't I?
39:26Look, Paddy, listen.
39:29I'm not Paddy Maguire, OK?
39:32What?
39:32I'm tired with the lies.
39:35But mine, yours, everyone else's, it's not worth it.
39:40Look, you want to know the truth?
39:42I'm a closet puff dot who wears furry slippers.
39:45I file me toenails.
39:47I like the Waltons.
39:48No.
39:49I love the Waltons.
39:52And I had a dog.
39:53What, he used to suck me off.
39:57So you still want to go out then?
39:59Eh?
40:00You're not Paddy?
40:02Yeah, I thought not.
40:06Get this van out of here by midnight or I'll fucking scalp you.
40:37Which was hers?
40:41They were all hers.
40:50We did all right, you and me, you know.
40:53I know, love.
40:54They were good days.
40:57We were a brilliant family.
40:58We are a brilliant family.
41:08I'm sorry, I couldn't make it work.
41:13Keep it, Paddy.
41:14No.
41:18You keep it.
41:21It'll remind you of how it used to be.
41:25That life we had.
41:39You're a good dad.
41:40Deep down in there, you're a good man.
42:03What the fuck are you doing?
42:08What does it look like?
42:09Making a mistake.
42:11I know your marriage is a sham.
42:14I heard you both talking about divorce and Ireland.
42:18Don't try and deny it.
42:21Mum, you told me that the only basis for a solid relationship is the truth.
42:27So is this because it's love?
42:29Or just because it's easy?
42:40Just do the right thing.
42:43Not for us or anyone else.
42:46But for you.
42:57We'll love you no matter what.
43:10You know, you shouldn't beat yourself up about it, mate.
43:13I mean, if we're all really honest,
43:15it wouldn't take that much for us to murder one of our kids.
43:22Most of us might stop at dismembering, though.
43:25You know.
43:28I'm only fucking with you.
43:30Come on.
43:31Come on.
43:32Your deal.
43:37Hey.
43:41They'll let me own stew for a while.
43:43Right?
43:44And you and me, sweetheart, are going out gallivanting.
43:47Oh, fucking love you, Libby Croker.
43:56The first date I had with Paddy,
43:58I was wearing this little black dress.
44:00I looked great.
44:02He knew it, and I knew it.
44:05What are you going to tell the other two?
44:09Don't worry about them.
44:10They're used to you disappearing.
44:13And me just being around.
44:23I wore that dress again for our first anniversary.
44:27Couldn't get into it for the second.
44:29Poor third.
44:30I didn't chug it out, though.
44:32Hung on to it for years,
44:34telling myself that one day it'd fit again.
44:37It never did.
44:38It was in the wardrobe years.
44:41Just hanging.
44:43Waiting.
44:45Goodbye, Mimi.
44:53In the end, I had to admit defeat and let it go.
44:57It just didn't fit anymore.
45:00Just didn't fit.
45:06I've been seeing someone else.
45:08I want your wife,
45:09who I've been fucking on and off for nearly a year.
45:13One team of puffs stands between us and a thousand quid.
45:17I've got the feeling we're not in Kansas anymore.
45:19Everyone will think I'm gay.
45:21I fuck it. I don't mind.
45:22Me neither.
45:24I think I pulled something.
45:25Something.
45:26Or someone.
45:27Mr. Arlington!
45:33Let's kill the con.
45:34You don't know what you'll do.
45:36It's a convicted fucking murderer.
45:37Let's kill the con.
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