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00:01Anyone watching, thinking we know fuck all about, knowing fuck all about, needs to watch their backs out.
00:08So you've had your Labour reclassifying skunks, sending prices sky high.
00:13Literally, literally taking the grass from its own roots.
00:17Now you've got your condemnation.
00:20Liberals noshing Tories like altar boys picking dimps up.
00:23Have we had a national fucking stroke? Or what?
00:27Is revolution a word?
00:30Or was it never?
00:31Anybody watching needs to know we cope better than average with irony in Chatsworth.
00:37Well, for fuck's sake, we live in Manchester and they charge us for water.
00:43I wandered lonely as a cloud necking mushrooms rarely found green and pleasant land and ancient sire.
00:51Fuck is...
00:53It's not theirs anymore.
00:56Oh!
00:57This is our England now!
01:00Party!
01:09The first throws of love are all about passion.
01:14Eyes, hands, lips, limbs, kisses.
01:18I love yous and promises of never-ending devotion.
01:24Burn into memory every nook and cranny of that vase.
01:27That body.
01:29Drowning in each other.
01:31Getting your fill.
01:31Getting more than your fill.
01:33That thirst you can never really quench no matter how much you try.
01:36And fuck knows we try, don't we?
01:40I read in some mag in a waiting room years back that if you put a coin in a jar
01:46every time you made love in the first three years of your relationship,
01:50then took one out every time you did it after three years, you'd never, ever, ever, ever be able to
02:01empty it.
02:01Ah!
02:03Ah!
02:04Ah!
02:06If I'm a traitor
02:12Time's a revelator
02:22Come again, and soon.
02:25Not too soon, though. Eh, Tiger?
02:27Give me some time to recover.
02:34Dickhead.
02:34His teacher.
02:35He thinks he made me come.
02:36Screams were almost convincing.
02:38The yelps helped.
02:40I had cramp.
02:41Came in handy.
02:41I can spot a fake, am I off?
02:43Well, I guess you've pulled a few in your time.
02:45Didn't need to.
02:47My Brenda were gifted in the trouser department.
02:49When he stripped off, put me in mind of a tripod.
02:54And it's not you finishing her, then?
02:56We've got a stag doing any minute now.
02:58I'd leave the girls to it, but we need all hands on deck for this one.
03:01Lillian just took a call and the lads have been chewing Viagra since they left Burnley.
03:05They won't walk in. They'll be pole vaulting.
03:07No worries.
03:09I'll catch you later, okay?
03:13He knows that you're lying.
03:16Orgasm's aren't the only thing I'm good at faking.
03:18He hasn't got a clue.
03:20Don't know what's wrong with her lately.
03:22I do.
03:29It's too small.
03:30Well, it'll keep the wind off your back.
03:32Yeah, and give me twatting frostbite at the front.
03:37I look like a fucking nutter.
03:39Well, you are a fucking nutter.
03:41Take no notice.
03:42Look, beggars can't be choosers.
03:44Look, as soon as you get a few bob rolling in,
03:45it's me and you straight down to Prime Arnie for a proper makeover.
03:48No, but until then, it's our Shane's cast-offs.
03:51It suits you.
03:52Yeah, it looks nice.
03:54It's pink and it smells of perfume.
03:56Only real men can wear pink.
03:58And it's aftershave, that.
03:59This is a bird's fluffy jumper.
04:01Angora.
04:02It's allergic to man-made.
04:04It's got tit shapes in it.
04:05It must have been my mam's.
04:06You need to try it on.
04:16You look lovely.
04:19None of it fits, right?
04:21I can't survive what's long run.
04:23On two pairs of socks, three t-shirts and a pair of undies.
04:26Just one pair?
04:28Oh, wish I'd known that sooner.
04:31I'm only on a tea break.
04:34Ladies.
04:39Look, just go commando whilst they wash and dry, eh?
04:42Ready for action.
04:43Home up.
04:44Sorry.
04:45I can't.
04:46I'll chafe.
04:52It was only going to go on a bottle of baby oil and some poppers.
05:00You're being a pal to me, Mickey.
05:02And if I were queer, I'd bum you here and now.
05:05Thanks, Marty.
05:08You're going to make someone a lovely wife partner one day.
05:11But I've got to stand up on me all two feet.
05:13I need cash, so I'll have to do a job.
05:17Get a job.
05:22Everybody get down!
05:25Shut up.
05:26Shut up.
05:26This is a fuck-up.
05:27Shut the fuck up.
05:29Let's get a stick-up.
05:30Rectal prolapse.
05:34Give me the money.
05:35Give me the money.
05:35I'll just get down the money in your face.
05:40I'll just do anything for you to say, please.
05:41Fuck off.
05:46I'll just do it.
05:46Sit down.
05:47Wait till you see this.
05:48It's glass.
05:49Come on.
05:50In my seat.
05:53Soon have you smiling again, girl.
06:03Isn't that the shittest?
06:06Rappest Robert you have ever seen.
06:08How much did he get away with?
06:10Oh, enough of some chips in a taxi home.
06:13Fucking shame, of it.
06:26You know who that was?
06:29Come on, you know.
06:31I don't know.
06:34So...
06:35Why don't you tell me?
06:36Marty.
06:37How do you know?
06:38He was wearing my old coat.
06:40Not his style, is it?
06:41Armed robbery, not the coat.
06:42I don't know him well enough to know what his fucking style is.
06:44But what I do know is it's only a matter of time before the filth get the shit together
06:48and clock it in.
06:50And?
06:51Arrest him.
06:52Are you not arsed?
06:53He's a pun to shame.
06:56Offering ten grand reward for somebody to grass him up.
06:59He's daft enough to threaten people with a gun.
07:01He deserves grassing up.
07:03He's a deposit on an outside, you know.
07:05Ten grand.
07:05Maguire's don't grass.
07:07Hmm.
07:13Fucking stupid though, wasn't it?
07:15Well, he is fucking stupid.
07:18Are you?
07:19I said are you!
07:21What the fuck was I supposed to do?
07:23I'm asking.
07:24I can't work.
07:25I can't sign on.
07:27Why?
07:27In case the police catch you for non-payment and maintenance, you mean?
07:30There's a post to our fucking robbery, you golless twat!
07:33I needed money!
07:35Then ask!
07:36Don't go holding up post offices with fucking guns!
07:40You could've killed someone!
07:42You could've killed someone!
07:43The poor bastard collected the pension!
07:45You could've got killed yourself!
07:47And then what would I have done?
07:52I mean, how would I explain that to Sue?
07:56Where'd you get the gun?
07:59Look, the stash there, it's family stuff.
08:02You know the score, Kel.
08:03You keep him away from guns, you got that?
08:05Guns and fucking matches!
08:06Sorry?
08:07It could bring a load of trouble.
08:09We've had enough.
08:11That...
08:11That gun...
08:12Could be leaked to Shane, maybe.
08:14And then...
08:29You're looking lovely.
08:32And do you look dead nice?
08:34Like, nice?
08:36Proper, like...
08:37Glowing.
08:38Helpfully.
08:41I was thinking...
08:42Do you want me to make tea tonight?
08:43What's going on?
08:45What?
08:45I had anything going on?
08:46I was married longer than you've been alive.
08:48And I know that when a man's buttering you up,
08:51with a string of compliments,
08:52it usually means he's about to do one of two things.
08:56Confess or request.
08:57Which is he?
08:59Er...
08:59Don't lie.
09:00If you've got something to say, say it.
09:03I would just...
09:04Speak.
09:05Well, now it's out in the open,
09:07who Cilla's dad is,
09:08I was thinking if, like...
09:10If...
09:11If we could...
09:12Well, do you know, when she's christened,
09:13if...
09:14If we could give her a second name?
09:15Do you know?
09:16Because a man gave her a first name,
09:17her dad can give her a second.
09:20What were you thinking of?
09:21Maureen.
09:22Fuck off!
09:23What? It's my man's name!
09:23You shouldn't keep it!
09:25It's not fair, Mimi.
09:26You get to do everything,
09:27and I just get shit on by.
09:29You, Shane,
09:30Jamie and Mickey.
09:31Okay.
09:31Always taking the piss out...
09:32Out of me.
09:33Did...
09:34Did you say okay, then?
09:38On one condition.
09:40That you convey it.
09:42Come over to our side.
09:44You...
09:45You mean,
09:45support Liverpool?
09:47I mean,
09:47become a Catholic,
09:49you knobhead!
09:49Oh,
09:50alright, yeah, yeah.
10:05You've been named, mighty boy.
10:06Hand driver at the post office.
10:09Cuddled a little mountain.
10:11In his funny little ways.
10:13Won't I'm a flyer?
10:15Fuck off.
10:16Terrified gang of pensioners
10:17after death in a post office queue.
10:19Yes, but...
10:19Won't I'm a flyer?
10:21Fuck off, Shane.
10:22Come on, I'm fucking with.
10:24You know what?
10:24I've been doing a bit of research, mate.
10:25All you have to do?
10:27You type in...
10:29arson...
10:29...and fwangarola...
10:32...and it's fucking amazing!
10:33Isn't what pops up.
10:36You know,
10:37it's funny you never mentioned
10:38that your wife and kids
10:39died in a house fire.
10:42anyone would think.
10:43You had something to hide, mate.
10:45Save your breath, Marty.
10:47You're gonna need it.
10:48I'm just called the filth.
10:51I've told them where you were.
10:53Run.
10:58Run!
11:15I've got a few more casters for Marty.
11:21I...
11:21was...
11:22dragged out of bed last night
11:24by an armed copper
11:25with his gun
11:26shoved halfway at me fucking nostril!
11:29What, family stuff?
11:30Look, they were asking me where Marty was.
11:32I mean, I said, I don't know
11:34and spent the next...
11:36nine hours
11:38helping the police with their enquiries.
11:40Someone must have grasped.
11:44That'd be me.
11:47And since when did you develop a conscience?
11:50When I found out Marty's wife and kids
11:52died in an arson attack.
11:54Spear of fires across fwangarola.
11:58Culprit never found.
11:59But you've got fucking nutter out there
12:01that's got a history of that sort of stuff
12:02and, well, one and one.
12:04It's two.
12:06He killed him?
12:07Yep.
12:08Seems that way.
12:10I was thinking of a trip into town.
12:12Get you some new gear.
12:14Something to eat, eh?
12:15That ten grand you've got for grassing him up
12:18burning a hole in your pocket.
12:20We're anonymous.
12:23Book solid all morning.
12:25Who wants to fuck at this hour?
12:27You?
12:28Once upon a time.
12:32The thing is, I don't really know anything about God
12:35or religion, whatever.
12:36He's C of E.
12:38Is he allowed to change sides, Father?
12:40We don't really think of it as sides now, do we, Mimi?
12:43Oh.
12:44There'll be a lot of hard work on your part, Billy.
12:47You'll have to research the faith, attend classes.
12:50He's not afraid of a bit of hard work.
12:52It's for my daughter.
12:53And for you, too.
12:56Front of the queue at the Pearly Gates if you're a Catholic, eh, Father?
13:00We'll keep it informal for the time being.
13:03Yeah.
13:04Look forward to getting to know you as well as I know the rest of the family.
13:07Lovely seeing you, Father.
13:09And you, Mimi.
13:10See you later.
13:11Take care.
13:11I will.
13:12See ya.
13:13Hi, Ricky.
13:16Bye now.
13:20Is he gonna hear someone died?
13:22Billy's gonna be a Catholic.
13:24Fuck for it, shit.
13:25Damn shall not do this, that and the other.
13:28And the guilt.
13:29Takes you about a week to get over spilling your seed.
13:32Stay proddy, man.
13:33Much more fun.
13:34I'm doing it for Silla.
13:35You're doing it to get in with me, man.
13:36I'm doing it for my daughter.
13:37Your sister.
13:38She won't thank you.
13:39If I was gonna change, I'd go Muslim.
13:42Yeah, her food's better and everything.
13:43And all you gotta do is grow a beard.
13:45You won't even pass the exams you, anyway.
13:47Why's that, then?
13:48Cause you're a thick cunt.
13:53No!
13:56Mom!
13:58Mom!
13:59You!
14:00Living room now.
14:02It wasn't me.
14:03Don't have me saying it twice.
14:13No matter how hard I try, your lads are just gonna keep throwing it back in my face.
14:18Nothing I do is ever gonna be good enough for them.
14:19It's a lot for them to take on you being here.
14:22Gonna take time.
14:24You can handle this.
14:26You're a tough lad.
14:27Made a stain of stuff than they knew.
14:30Aren't ya?
14:30Yeah.
14:32Now these spuds aren't gonna peel themselves, are they?
14:46Shane's here.
14:47Told ya, tell him I'm occupied.
14:49I did, but he said he'd wait.
14:51Look, if you and him's got a problem, sort it.
14:54Cause punters don't like looking at the face like a smacked arse.
14:57They can get there at home.
14:59Give me a minute.
15:00Tell him I'm just tidying, then send him up.
15:17The only time I see anything floral is weddings, funerals and when you're trying to keep me sweet after a
15:23fuck up.
15:23By way of an apology?
15:25A fuck up.
15:26Yeah.
15:27A monumental fuck up.
15:29You know, I've been...
15:31I've been that busy.
15:33My mind's been preoccupied with a million and one different things and I...
15:38I've neglected the one thing that I value most.
15:41That's a thing, I don't...
15:44I mean you.
15:45And I'm sorry.
15:52I know you've been distracted as well.
15:54I'm on a minute.
15:55I don't blame ya.
15:57I forced you away.
16:06Well, I take us two to tango.
16:09Badly.
16:11We are good, us, you know.
16:13We used to be.
16:14We still are.
16:19Let's make a bit of time.
16:22Get away from here.
16:25I want to be your husband again.
16:29I love you, Kelly McGuire.
16:31Yeah.
16:32Yeah.
16:35Yeah.
16:37Yes.
16:41Yeah.
16:42Yes.
16:53Yeah.
16:56Yeah, yeah, yeah.
16:59Yeah, yeah.
16:59Yeah.
16:59Well,ike구나.
16:59Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
17:01I wouldn't think that if you had to spend as long as I do, look on Adam.
17:04I meant Father Craig.
17:05So did I.
17:07Ever since Billy started his conversion classes,
17:10we called Get Risen.
17:11And a marshmallow.
17:13That's not Jesus.
17:19Someone to be oppressed.
17:22Someone who cares.
17:28That's not Jesus.
17:30That's not Jesus.
17:34Someone who cares.
17:37Someone who cares.
17:42Reach out to your face.
17:46And I might be able to apply.
17:50Well, you can convert me any time.
17:53Oi! I heard that.
17:55What?
18:00What?
18:00What's got you smiling?
18:01Wouldn't you like to know?
18:03A look of love. A little twinkle in the eye I can detect.
18:06Come on, I'll give you a brother off.
18:09What sort of your differences then?
18:11Never heard it called that before.
18:13We talked.
18:18Toilets.
18:19Now.
18:25Look, I'm tired.
18:27That's all this is.
18:28I'm relieved your marriage is back on track.
18:29I appreciate the concern.
18:31But we've never been close and I'm not the sister type.
18:34I just wish I'd have had someone to talk to when me and Jamie were fucking ourselves over.
18:37We've had a rough few months.
18:39Like I said, we've talked and we're okay.
18:41Good. I'm glad.
18:42Because it'd all be too easy to get hung up on someone who might let you down, wouldn't it?
18:46You know, someone who might offer a bit of excitement short term.
18:51But long term?
18:53Well, you wouldn't back him if he was a horse at the National, would you?
18:57No.
18:58I don't think I would.
18:59Use the men's!
19:04Sometimes we can get distracted.
19:06Things can seem a bit mundane.
19:08We think the grass is always greener, but then before long we...
19:11Lost everything.
19:14It's in a bollocking, Kel.
19:16I just don't want you to make the same mistake I did.
19:19Jo.
19:22There's no bock room.
19:23We'll drip dry.
19:24Without going into too much detail, that approach won't have much effect.
19:27Aye.
19:33You can talk to me, you know.
19:35When it comes to stuff like this.
19:39You can trust me.
19:43Oh!
19:44You were so happy!
19:45You were so happy!
19:46You were so happy!
19:48You were so happy!
19:50You were so happy!
19:52You were so happy!
19:53Jamie, usual, double, and whatever those boring bastards are having.
19:57With a cyanide fucking chaser for each of them.
20:00You're not enjoying it?
20:01He's everywhere at hand.
20:02Never shut the fuck up.
20:04God this, God that, God the other.
20:07He's got a bleeding parable for everything.
20:10You can't even wipe your arse without him tearing it into some kind of a lassie.
20:15Hello, Father Craig!
20:21Hiya, Father, going all ready?
20:23Service in the morning, Mimi.
20:25Billy says you'll be there.
20:27Not gonna miss out, am I?
20:34Stop this now!
20:36Look!
20:37I just wanted to impress you!
20:39Get rid of that boring bastard!
20:41Then I'll be impressed!
20:43Then I'll be impressed!
20:47Come on!
20:49Come on!
20:49Come on!
20:49Come on!
20:51Come on!
20:51Come on!
20:53Come on!
20:54Come on!
20:57She obviously wants something extreme.
20:59You know, a declaration of your intentions.
21:02Record.
21:03Think Big Billy.
21:04She's every other way to a heart.
21:06If not a heart, might get you into her knickers.
21:10What do you think she'd really, really like?
21:13What do you reckon would make her happy?
21:14Hearing the boys.
21:21What's going on?
21:22Well, I just want you to be happy.
21:24That's all.
21:25So, I did something that would make you happy.
21:40So, you robbed my car?
21:43Borrowed.
21:43Then what the fuck did you give him?
21:45Just a load of ale.
21:46Bottle of whisky.
21:47And?
21:48Some pills I found in Mickey's sock drawer.
21:50The blue ones?
21:52Orange.
21:53Not the yellow ones.
21:55What, one of them had floor all the Happy Mondays.
21:57How many did you slip him?
21:58Four.
21:59Oh!
22:00Well, no wonder he's dead.
22:01They're meant for horses of a nervous disposition.
22:04What in the name of God did you think you were doing?
22:07You said you'd be impressed if I got rid of him.
22:09I didn't mean kill him, you thick twat.
22:12I meant out of my line of vision for a split second.
22:15Out of my range of ear and not bleeding dead.
22:19So what are we gonna do?
22:21Pray for forgiveness.
22:23He's killed a priest.
22:25Well, let him fucking pray then.
22:28It's not what to do with us.
22:29I'm going to hell.
22:30I'm not even Catholic.
22:32Oh, and you think God's gonna turn a blind eye to the fact
22:34that we're sitting round a table discussing how to get shot of the body?
22:39Hey, excuse me.
22:40I just come up with a solution to the problem,
22:42which went down like a lead balloon.
22:43The solution being that we take him to your mate's sausage factory.
22:47Never objected before.
22:49I've never turned a priest into a sausage before.
22:54We'll be excommunicators.
22:56We're already excommunicated.
22:59Call your mate.
23:00Make the arrangements.
23:03Hang on.
23:05You're not actually gonna go through with this.
23:07Have you got a better solution?
23:09Remarkable.
23:10Just when I thought you'd never be able to shock me.
23:15Okay, if we're going ahead with this,
23:17you need to make yourself scarce.
23:20No way!
23:21He got us into this shit.
23:23He's gonna help get us out.
23:25Yeah, they'll get a fair few sausages out of him, though, won't they?
23:27I mean...
23:27He's a big lad, won't he?
23:30Lass.
23:30He's a big lad.
23:32Yeah, he went away, he hooked me up.
23:42He's a big lad, won't he?
23:45He's a big lad.
23:49He's a big lad.
23:49He's a big lad.
23:50He's got his nous.
23:50He's got his mouth.
23:59He's a big lad.
24:00You're a fool, didn't you?
24:02No.
24:02Not that I blame you. I am a fucking idiot.
24:06Falling for you, you lies.
24:08If you think I lied, why did you come?
24:10To tell you to get out of my life.
24:12To keep on running.
24:13Fuck off so far away from me and never come back.
24:16Sue left me.
24:19She walked out and took the kids.
24:22She wanted stuff I couldn't give her and...
24:25She found someone who could.
24:27And I begged her, begged her to come back.
24:30But she said, to what?
24:34To what?
24:36I was on me own.
24:38And I was getting pissed most nights because...
24:42And I lost me job because I couldn't get out of bed for the hangovers.
24:47I ended up on the street.
24:50And I was angry with myself. I was so angry.
24:54I'd lost my wife, my kids.
24:56My job, my flat.
24:58So you set fire to them?
25:06It took a while, but...
25:08You and me is at last, eh?
25:11Will the real Marty Fisher please stand up?
25:14Look.
25:14Lying. Murdering.
25:16Marty Fisher.
25:16God.
25:17Save it.
25:20I thought you were different.
25:25Fucking cliche alert.
25:28I hope they find you, Marty.
25:30I hope the fools drag you in and I hope you go down for life.
25:36I still didn't deserve that.
25:39And your kids.
25:43Get the fuck off.
25:45Get the fuck off.
25:47I love you.
25:50And I love Shane.
26:20I'll leave you in.
26:23That's where you going, lads?
26:24Just bringing a mate home.
26:25Bit worse for wear.
26:26I hope you sober up before Sunday, Father.
26:29My daughter's christened.
26:31He's gonna puke.
26:32Do you want to get out, Father?
26:33Nah, he's just rat-assed.
26:35Don't tell the Pope.
26:36Do you want to open the boot for us, please?
26:41Shut the fuck up!
26:46Yeah, that's great, mate.
26:47Cheers.
26:48His other mate looks in a bad way, too.
26:50He can't handle his booze.
26:52I think it was a punch what finished him off.
26:54That'll teach him.
26:55Cheers, lads.
27:00See you, Father.
27:05Vodka.
27:06Double.
27:07One for yourself, Mimi.
27:09Fuck knows you could do with one.
27:10What are you having?
27:11Bit early for me.
27:17To the useless, lying, two-faced, manipulative, deceitful gang of total bastardry that is men.
27:24Fuck knows I'll drink to that.
27:27Unless it's our Shane you're talking about.
27:29What?
27:30Punta.
27:30Finally revealed his true colours.
27:36See him again, please, Mimi.
27:38Must be at work in ten minutes.
27:40Got the barbershop quartet in.
27:41Fuck him yourself.
27:42Turn the light off, they'd never know the difference.
27:43Of course they would.
27:44Lillian, this is the male of the species we're talking about.
27:47Brains in cocks.
27:48Fuck knows there's not much room in there for a brain.
27:50Fuck him yourself.
27:51Or better still, tell them to go fuck themselves.
27:54You've had two verbal warnings, Callie.
27:57Third written.
27:58What?
27:58You're going to dismiss me?
28:00Then I take you to a tribunal and...
28:03Oh, no, that's right, I can't.
28:05On account of how your business is illegal and you'd end up in Nick for being a madam.
28:10Madam.
28:14All you need to do sometimes is take a step back to get a good perspective, isn't it?
28:19Where's all this coming from?
28:21From me being let down once too often.
28:23That's where this is coming from, Karen.
28:24Shame.
28:25No, we're good.
28:27Yeah?
28:30Yeah.
28:51All right, kiddo.
28:52All right, mate.
28:53Good night, mate.
28:54Yeah, good, good.
28:56Nice one.
29:01All right, boys.
29:02All right, mate.
29:04Right, we need to get him in here.
29:06Yeah?
29:06And then get him to the processing room.
29:08There's going to be a tea break in about ten minutes.
29:09So it's going to be empty.
29:11I'm going to need Ann getting him stripped.
29:12I'll do it.
29:13You want to bring him over here, Mickey?
29:15I'll do it.
29:18I'll do it.
29:21Hey.
29:32Shit.
29:32Shit.
29:43Mum.
29:44You need to be here.
29:46And quick.
30:05Hey, you said you checked. He was dead.
30:09I did.
30:10But you obviously didn't check properly.
30:25Come on.
30:27Come on.
30:31It's a miracle.
30:33I'm telling you it's a miracle.
30:35Go!
30:36Leave the talking to me.
30:43And I prayed and prayed to God to find a solution.
30:49And he did.
30:52You okay, Father?
30:55I...
30:56Er...
30:57I...
30:57I don't know.
31:00I'm sorry, Mimi.
31:01I'm not feeling 100%.
31:03Must have nodded off.
31:08I had the weirdest dream.
31:13And the Lord said to me...
31:20Next time you want to impress me, try a bunch of roses, a box of chocolates.
31:25We were lucky this time, Billy.
31:27Make sure there isn't a next time, yeah?
31:29You said he was a problem. I thought he wanted real.
31:31Why would she go to you if she did?
31:33Because...
31:33Because I'm the father of a child.
31:35That was a biological accident.
31:36A happy one?
31:38Yeah, but an accident nonetheless, Mum.
31:40Get this straight, Billy.
31:41If there's a problem within this family that needs solving, this family will solve it.
31:45You've got that.
31:46I don't need you.
31:48I don't want you.
31:50By the way, you pissed yourself.
32:02I think there's a spot.
32:04It was lovely, that.
32:05Thought you'd like it.
32:06I liked it.
32:08I loved it.
32:09You don't have to overdo it, Shane.
32:11No, it was nice, that.
32:13It was chips, bacon and egg.
32:15It was great.
32:18Oh, look what's in it?
32:19No.
32:20Come on.
32:20I know what you said, and I said I'll do it.
32:23Sorry?
32:24No.
32:25It's me.
32:26No, I'm probably trying a bit...
32:28No, don't.
32:28It's not you, this.
32:30It's not you, it's me, Shane.
32:32Just, erm...
32:37It's just me.
32:41I mean, I can go out to footy that I recorded.
32:49I love you, Kelly McGuire.
32:55Yeah, you said.
33:03Thank you, Carmel.
33:23Just thought we'd give you this, Father.
33:25Our contribution to the new roof of the Vestry Father.
33:28Oh, that's very kind.
33:30So, ten minutes, yeah?
33:34Four...
33:35Nice one.
33:36They're making out like he's forgot.
33:38You!
33:39Scylla's christening.
33:41Two o'clock.
33:43You did say two.
33:45Course I didn't forget.
33:46How can I forget a thing like that?
33:48And Billy is proper excited.
33:51Yeah.
33:52You know, about getting christened at the same time as his daughter.
33:55Very kind of you to fast-track him.
33:58It's whirling up.
33:59You know what?
34:00He's so proud.
34:03I'm going meself.
34:04I'll just prepare.
34:25What's going on?
34:28Baptism.
34:29Scylla's.
34:29And your godparents.
34:32Lovely.
34:33When?
34:34Now.
34:35Nice one.
34:35If I snuffy, soft arse, and get custody of Scylla, that's not going to happen.
34:41Look at him.
34:43He's a lovely lad.
34:45But a few bricks short of a full odd.
34:47You know what I mean?
34:48Me, me.
34:49I don't actually believe in...
34:50I've heard it all before, Kelly.
34:51You don't believe in God.
34:53We know.
34:54Half the congregation will be in the same boat.
34:57I just want you to nod when you're supposed to.
34:59Light a candle.
35:01Renounce the devil.
35:02Then get back to the pub and get pissed with the rest of us.
35:05Got that?
35:07Come on, soft lads.
35:09Did that just happen?
35:11Who does she think she is?
35:13Oh, Jesus. Come on, Kel.
35:14She's always like that.
35:15Well, she can fuck off.
35:17You know what?
35:17You're always like that, actually.
35:18And you're always like that, sitting on the fucking fence.
35:21What's it going to take for you to back me up, Mummy's boy?
35:27You knew what you were getting into when you took me home.
35:40Hang on, wait for me.
36:07I wish I could go.
36:09I wish I could go.
36:11I wish I could go.
36:12I wish I could go.
36:15You know what I can do.
36:17I wish I could go into when you took them.
36:18It's not for turning to you.
36:21Fucking will be after this, Maggie.
36:23One of the mineshafts in memory of Scargill.
36:26But Whizzicom wouldn't really be an angle
36:29that would satisfy, would there?
36:31It's not as if you could, like,
36:32close your eyes to go fuzzy
36:35and convince yourself it's somebody else.
36:38Fucking Churchill would be a more attractive proposition.
36:41Milliband's got a pretty face.
36:44I think your mistake was
36:45from someone with such a low profile.
36:47So...
36:48What do you mean?
36:49A priest.
36:50If you wanna impress some Maguires, aim high.
36:52Take out some gangster and you'll be quids in.
36:55I'm telling you.
36:56You wanna reach puberty, keep your trap shut.
37:00Ben, now.
37:06If I'd have wanted a gangster,
37:08I wouldn't have gotten rid of Paddy.
37:09I like you because you're you.
37:11Okay?
37:13Just be you.
37:16Toast!
37:19To Silla Maureen Tutton-Maguire,
37:23welcome to the family.
37:24Welcome to the family!
37:26And to Billy Tutton,
37:29welcome to the family.
37:30Welcome to the family!
37:33You're one of us now.
37:37She means Catholic, by the way.
37:39Not one of them.
37:42Welcome to the family.
37:43I'm a fox!
37:44I'm a fox!
37:45Help!
37:46Yeah!
37:48Yeah!
37:49Yeah!
37:49Yeah!
37:49Yeah!
37:51Yeah!
37:52Yeah!
37:54Yeah!
37:55Yeah!
37:56I've foxed on that.
37:58Rats!
37:59Big fucking rat!
38:25Excuse I for cue jumping. I've got a turtle's head.
38:28They're all occupied and I'm next.
38:30I'm touching cloth.
38:31Gents!
38:36I'm...
38:37Sorry.
38:39Gonna do the decent thing.
38:40Hand yourself in.
38:42Admit you're a fucking scumbag for killing your wife and kids.
38:46A pathological liar for leading me on and making me believe we had some kind of future.
38:50It wasn't supposed to happen this way.
38:52Too right!
38:54I wasn't supposed to fall for the nutter.
38:56We fuck all to offer but a criminal record and an empty wallet.
39:00I...
39:00I wanted the white charger and shining armour and I...
39:04You...
39:06Fucking...
39:07You!
39:09Lights, I'll be back on in a minute.
39:11Great.
39:18Making sure no one's fallen over.
39:20We're up in the neck.
39:23Home soon, eh?
39:24Mmm.
39:30You never asked.
39:31That's what fucking hurt.
39:32After what we'd said, what we'd done, what you said you felt, you never asked.
39:36Never.
39:37What did I never ask you, you fucking lunatic?
39:39I wanted to tell you what happened but I wanted you to know me first.
39:43You wanted me to fall for you first.
39:47I didn't do it.
39:48And if you need me to, I can prove it.
39:51I didn't do it, Kel.
39:55I couldn't...
39:58But even you thought I could...
40:03Even you...
40:08I'd be at the bus stop.
40:12Corner...
40:13Of Muirfield Avenue.
40:15And Lytton Street.
40:16Nine o'clock.
40:19I want to start again.
40:21New life.
40:24Someone I love.
40:27Someone...
40:28I never thought I'd have the luck to come across.
40:31It's a lot to think about.
40:33I know...
40:33And I would have done it sooner if...
40:35If all this hadn't have happened but...
40:40I love you.
40:42And...
40:42I want you...
40:43With me.
40:56Oh my God.
41:02Joel.
41:04Joel.
41:28Oh, my God, it's so cute.
41:37One, two, three, go!
41:38Three!
41:39Mark!
42:06I don't want to know
42:14Do you still become less naked
42:22You've never got there
42:25You've never seen it
42:28Far in the eye that you're far from my eyes
42:38That's the truth
42:49Merci, Inya
43:14Why can't you buy me
43:20Why can't you buy me
43:41I used to wonder how I'd know if it was love and not lust
43:45How could you tell?
43:46Because in the past I thought it was there
43:48And it wasn't
43:49It was nice, don't get me wrong
43:51But it wasn't what it should have been
43:53It didn't feel like it should have felt
43:57If just the thought of them doesn't warm you
44:00If being with them at the end of the day isn't all you need
44:03If you're not counting the hours until you see them again
44:06If you don't keep their old messages on your phone
44:09Just so you can hear that voice
44:11Then it's not love
44:14No, I'm coming
44:26No, I'm coming
44:41Don't drive
44:43So you can hear that voice
45:04I need every single one of you to stop pulling in some serious money.
45:08I've got my community service.
45:10You're doing drama and plays and that.
45:13I think there's been a mistake.
45:15It's been years since I did a burglary.
45:17There's always a bit of a turn on for me.
45:19There you go.
45:20Don't say it out, will you?
45:23We won't say a word either.
45:25You'll never go bareback.
45:27It wasn't business.
45:28It was mighty.
45:29You're going to have to do a bit more than kissing to make him sweet, aren't you, eh?
45:31You know what I mean?
45:33Mary's cooking, Joseph.
45:35I applaud you.
45:36I can't elect to have you by me, sir.
45:38Maybe we should make it more permanent.
45:40You're welcome, I'm off.
45:41Will you marry me?
46:36Oh, for fuck's sake, man.
46:39Is that gastric band playing up again?
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