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00:08Tonight, for the full hour, Todd Glass is with us.
00:12You know Todd.
00:13I love Todd.
00:17We have a studio audience all of a sudden somehow.
00:19Todd's a very popular guy.
00:21Todd Glass will be with us.
00:23Now, how are you doing, Adam Hegan?
00:25I'm doing well.
00:25It's good to be there.
00:26My trusty sidekick.
00:27That's right.
00:28You look good.
00:28You look nice.
00:30Yeah.
00:31I'd like to shove my fucking cock in your mouth.
00:33No, I'm kidding.
00:34But did you ever hear the joke about the fella that he went to a house and it was very
00:48isolated.
00:49And there was a woman there and her mother.
00:53And they looked very much alike.
00:56Do you ever have occasion to see that, where the mother looks so young and it could almost
01:00be a sister?
01:01Yeah, for sure.
01:02And so he was with the mother and he went to bed and he turned off the lights.
01:09It was very dark as it is in summer, as it is in the country, you know.
01:14And someone entered, and he heard the voice of this woman, and he wasn't sure if it was the mother
01:26or the daughter.
01:28And she came over and she said, it's so lonely here, you know.
01:31There had been no men.
01:35And she caressed his arm and one thing became the inevitable.
01:48They had sex?
01:49Yeah.
01:50So we don't have to be coarse about it, but yes.
01:52And the next day, oh, as the lady's leaving, it's 4 a.m. and she's like, the light's about
01:58to come on.
01:59I must leave.
02:00And the fella says, but who are you?
02:02I must know.
02:03I must know.
02:04I must know which you are.
02:07No.
02:08You can't know.
02:09And she leaves.
02:11And so the next day, the man wakes up and they're having breakfast.
02:15And he looks, you see, from the mother to the daughter, trying to find a signal from them,
02:22but gets nothing, you know.
02:24And so that night, the same thing occurs.
02:30And again, he says, I must know.
02:33Who are you?
02:34You can't know.
02:35I'm going to Melbourne tomorrow.
02:39I must know.
02:40You can't know.
02:43So she goes, next day, he talks to them again.
02:48And he says, he's still getting nothing from them, you see.
02:53So the next night, the same thing happens.
02:55And he says, I must know this after she vanishes into the house.
03:03He says to her, I'm going to Melbourne tomorrow.
03:05Will you go with me?
03:06Your caresses are so wonderful.
03:11And your lovemaking is non-perial.
03:16And he feels the tears run down his chest from the girl.
03:23I'm going to go.
03:24She goes, I can't go.
03:26I cannot go.
03:28So he still doesn't know if it's the mother or the daughter.
03:31And as he's leaving, he shakes the hands of both the mother and the daughter,
03:35and he shakes them firmly to try to get some feeling from them.
03:42But nothing, still nothing.
03:44And so he leaves.
03:46And the old man, the driver, drives him to the boat where he is to sail away to Melbourne
03:54the next day.
03:56And the old man says, you know, why this place is so isolated?
04:02No, no.
04:03The man says, why?
04:05Well, it's so isolated, you see, because there is another sister that lives there.
04:12A leper.
04:19So he fucked a leper?
04:20Let's not be coarse.
04:23Good God, man.
04:25That's not how you tell a joke.
04:28That's supposed to, that's supposed to happen through your mind.
04:32That's supposed to, but yes, fuck a leper.
04:41Our guest tonight, Todd Glass.
04:44We'll be discussing that.
04:48Tonight for the full hour, Todd Glass, veteran comedian and podcast pioneer.
04:57Is with us and now best-selling author.
05:01Todd Glass.
05:02How are you doing, Todd?
05:03I'm doing very good.
05:04Good, man.
05:04I'm doing very good.
05:06You've been trying.
05:06You know, I don't want to start, it seems like the shtick right away.
05:09We've been trying to get a hold of you.
05:10No, no.
05:10Don't make it like that.
05:11That's not even true.
05:12It is true.
05:13We've been trying.
05:13One time you asked me to do the show.
05:15Yeah, remember?
05:15And then I was going to do it.
05:17Yes.
05:17And then you had to cancel.
05:18We were, we were at.
05:19Somehow he's turned the whole thing around.
05:20I'm avoiding his calls.
05:21No.
05:22We were at the big awards.
05:26The YouTube, what was it called?
05:27I don't know.
05:28YouTube.
05:29Yeah, the big.
05:30Comedy week.
05:31The comedy week.
05:31The comedy week of YouTube and you were on the red carpet.
05:34I'm sure people that put a lot of work into that week are glad we're sitting here.
05:37What was the thing with the thing?
05:38What was the thing?
05:39Well, no.
05:39I'm trying to.
05:40I know you are.
05:40I'm sorry.
05:41I didn't mean to interrupt you.
05:41I was doing my best to give it its due respect.
05:45Right, I know.
05:46Oh, why not?
05:46It smells like a fucking pot dispensary in here.
05:48Oh, shit.
05:50Norm.
05:51Let's, let's stay on track here.
05:53Let's stay on track.
05:54So you, so I, you were saying, oh, it's, it's been hard for us to get you.
05:58Yeah.
05:58But the truth is, maybe that's your way of saying you're glad I'm here, but it hasn't
06:01been that hard.
06:02No, it's been.
06:03It's been hard for me to get on.
06:04It's been hard for me to get on.
06:04It's been hard for me to get on.
06:05It's been hard for me to get on.
06:06It's been hard for me to get on.
06:06You know what I'm saying?
06:07I'm making sense.
06:08It's not you, is it?
06:09No.
06:09No, I'm not going to.
06:10Let's move the show in a good order here.
06:12Yeah, you brought notes.
06:13I wrote one thing down while I was outside.
06:15First of all, I'm so excited to be here.
06:16Like, I love you, you know?
06:18Yeah.
06:18So I'm very excited to spend an hour.
06:20We both have to turn our phones off.
06:22This is better than the real life.
06:24But you don't seem, you seem different.
06:27You know, let me, okay, I'm going to go out, I'm going to go out of order.
06:30No, no, no, no, no.
06:31It doesn't matter.
06:31I'm going to remember this.
06:32It's legal.
06:33It's legal.
06:33Okay.
06:34It has to do with what you just did.
06:35Medicinal marijuana is legal.
06:38Here's what Norm did, and I wrote this down, I swear to God.
06:40And then we'll get back to what I had to hear.
06:43Norm fucks with people.
06:44First of all, when I say I love you, like, that's the truth.
06:47Like, you know, being around you, your energy, it's fun.
06:49Yeah.
06:50But I had to learn a little bit.
06:51He used to come to my house.
06:53I have like a, where am I talking?
06:55I don't know where to talk to anymore.
06:56This is your dream.
06:57I don't mean overall in life.
06:58I mean, just now.
06:59As Chris Elliott would say, this is your dream.
07:01Right, so he would come to my house, and we have a fire pit.
07:04We'd sit around, and most people.
07:06Wonderful house.
07:07And parties.
07:08But you, I'm just helping.
07:10Okay, thank you.
07:11Yeah.
07:12That's real help.
07:13Anyway.
07:14I'm sorry.
07:15No, what are you, Ed McMahon?
07:17So anyway, he would come to the house, and then he would say something about, like,
07:20you know, I have to use a real example.
07:23Like, I'm very anti, anti-hitting kids at all.
07:26Just, okay, I'm not, we don't have to get into it now.
07:28But, but anti, no, I don't mean, of course not abuse.
07:31You're really going out on a limb now.
07:32No.
07:33Everyone knows that we're not, there's certain people that go, of course not abuse, but a
07:37proper spanking.
07:38I'm against that too.
07:39Oh, you're against spanking.
07:39Yes, yes.
07:40Of course, no, I'm not defending child abuse.
07:42Yes.
07:42I don't want to go out, a lot of people won't say it, but I don't like child abuse.
07:46I'm dying to know where the story's going.
07:47Yeah, so Norm would sit there, and I, and somehow.
07:49So you're against spanking.
07:51Yes, even spanking.
07:52With children.
07:52With children.
07:53Yeah, well, unless it's two consenting adults, I don't really have any.
07:56Yeah, spanking.
07:56What about when they get you, and then it hits the back of your balls?
07:59Oh.
08:09That's just all great timing, because I don't know what you meant.
08:12Oh, you mean when you're naked, oh, naked spanking's even grosser.
08:16Really?
08:16Sure, it's like going, especially when parents go, I'm going to pull your.
08:19No, no, I meant with two consenting adults.
08:20Oh, with two.
08:20Oh, I thought you meant.
08:22Why would a father get naked to spank his child?
08:25A lot of parents, okay, I know, and I know what I'm talking about.
08:29A lot of parents say, I'm going to pull your pants down and spank you, which is grosser.
08:32It's like, it's not already humiliating that I'm going to hit you.
08:35Now I'm going to show your penis, which is embarrassing, and that's a great punishment
08:39right there, that a normal person gives a young child.
08:41So what does it say?
08:42Yeah.
08:42So anyway, it says you would come there, and I said something about it, and you went off
08:44how it's all right, and you, for like 45 minutes, we're like, Norm, he goes, well,
08:49you know, cans, you know, and I'm like, oh.
08:52So then he goes, ah, I'm just kidding.
08:54Then he goes off on an hour dissertation that was so articulate and so eloquent that it was,
08:58said what I felt better than I could say it, so he was just fucking with everybody for
09:0245 minutes.
09:03You think that'll never happen again, and it did.
09:06A month later, something came up in politics.
09:08You just throw, you throw stuff out there, then you get everyone worked up, and then you
09:13go, nah, nah, and then you give.
09:14I'm a provocateur.
09:17What else you got in the paper?
09:18You know, that was, oh, the one thing I wrote, I go, the most painful thing in the
09:21world for me is, and I realize, and it's so true, one of the most, not physical pain,
09:25but just mental pain is waiting to talk.
09:28And that's what I was doing out there.
09:29You know, you're outside there, they're talking, but you're waiting to talk.
09:33That's not all you were doing outside.
09:38You know, I think you tricked me.
09:40You tricked me.
09:42This is so embarrassing for you.
09:44I don't know if I should admit it.
09:45I'll tell you this.
09:46A friend of mine.
09:46Oh, you will tell me this.
09:47You don't want the truth out.
09:49A friend of mine was like you.
09:50He was a comic, and he'd always get real stoned.
09:54Okay, Norm.
09:55Norm.
09:56It's legal.
09:57Norm Esch.
09:58It's legal.
09:59I almost don't want to admit this because it makes him look so bad.
10:03No, no, no.
10:03He made me smoke pot in America.
10:05This is the truth.
10:06My hand, I don't believe in God, but my truth, my truth.
10:10Outside, he goes, come on, you'll smoke, you'll smoke, you'll smoke.
10:12I'm like, if you want me to smoke, I'll smoke.
10:14I didn't plan on it because I get chatty.
10:16He had a bad experience with getting dug and high.
10:19We cross-promote.
10:20I meant a cigarette.
10:22No, you didn't.
10:23I meant the vapor.
10:24They gave me pot by accident.
10:26I don't know.
10:27You're a producer.
10:28ShadowCons was supposed to give me the vapor.
10:30He gave me a little bit of pot, but I didn't want to talk about it because I didn't want
10:33that to be the thing.
10:34Pot instead of vapor?
10:35You're supposed to give them vapor.
10:37Either way, what's that matter?
10:38It doesn't matter.
10:38It's legal.
10:39It's legal.
10:39Anyway, then two minutes later, he goes, come on, come on, get hot.
10:41It's no different than alcohol.
10:43I'm trying to plow past this.
10:44I'm going to get to my point.
10:44Well, I'm trying to help you.
10:45No, I know.
10:46I'm very on to you right now.
10:49Okay, here's what I'm doing.
10:51You said, smoke, smoke.
10:53This is the truth.
10:54Whatever word I have, this is the truth.
10:57Then about 10 minutes, he asked me again.
10:58I'm like, I don't mind smoking.
11:00I thought of my night.
11:00Yeah, yeah, yeah.
11:01Then he goes, yeah.
11:02Then he goes, that's all you're smoking?
11:03So I took more.
11:05Then we get on here and he goes, I smell powder.
11:08What?
11:08You set me up.
11:10No, I didn't even talk that much.
11:12You didn't think I smoked that much.
11:13You wrote those little notes when you were stoned, because my friend, he would get stoned
11:17and he'd go, I thought of all these ideas and everything, but I never write them down.
11:21So he goes, I'm going to write them down.
11:22I'm going to have a little notebook and write down whatever I think is funny.
11:27And so he said he woke up one day after getting really stoned and on his pad he had written,
11:33that's really funny.
11:40Is that funny?
11:41Oh, that's fucking crazy.
11:44That's the bad side of smoking sometimes.
11:46Have you ever had a bad experience like before going up where you smoked too much pot and then you
11:50go on stage and it just did not work out?
11:53And the audience didn't care for it much?
11:55You know, maybe once or twice, but I really don't.
11:59Once or twice?
12:01No, once or twice in my life.
12:05Oh, oh.
12:06I only started smoking pot maybe, I mean on stage.
12:09I'm always afraid if you're off a little.
12:11People that smoke pot more than you think you're always fighting with them when you go,
12:14I only smoke pot four times a week.
12:16You're just saying it casually.
12:17They're like, you smoke more than that.
12:18All right, relax.
12:19What are you afraid?
12:19I'm not admitting I'm like you.
12:21Four times a week seems like a lot to me.
12:24Does it really?
12:25A little, yeah.
12:26Well, it's all relative.
12:28It's all relative.
12:28Yeah.
12:29As long as it's not hurting anybody.
12:30Yeah.
12:31As long as it's not hurting anybody, but what about the audience, the stand-up audience?
12:37Aren't they the real victims?
12:43I'm laughing, I know why, because all of a sudden when we're on CNN, it's like I went on
12:48to promote my book and then somebody goes, aren't they the victims?
12:51We'll be back.
12:52Well, but in there, it was a very good question.
12:56All I was going to say is if you happen to have a bad set, they will blame it on
13:03the
13:04marijuana when you might have had a bad set without it.
13:07I've seen you have bad sets with marijuana, without marijuana.
13:10How dare you?
13:11What night are you talking about?
13:14Let me answer your question.
13:16I really do believe this.
13:18At the Tempe Improv, there was a secondary room.
13:22Let me answer your first question.
13:23I just want to tell you.
13:24Okay.
13:24There was that secondary room.
13:26The George Carlin room.
13:27Yeah.
13:28You told me about it.
13:29That I created.
13:29I love that room.
13:30Yeah.
13:30You said you fucking bombed almost every night.
13:33That's what this guy said.
13:34I said I've never seen...
13:37That's not true.
13:38That's harsh shit.
13:38I just...
13:39I didn't say every night.
13:40This guy...
13:41I just want to go on record.
13:42This person exists, which I love.
13:43I know now.
13:44But this guy tells me...
13:45I have a friend that I have to tell him not to say anything.
13:48I take nothing for granted that he won't repeat it.
13:50Yeah.
13:50This is sort of who you're doing as a character, but...
13:53So I have to say something like, yeah, I met blah, blah, blah's girlfriend.
13:56She wore like a shit ton of makeup.
13:57Yeah.
13:57And then I have to go, and don't repeat that to her.
14:00Yeah.
14:00Because he will...
14:01Yeah, yeah.
14:02I'll go, why would you repeat that?
14:03You know who's like that?
14:04It's Tom Arnold.
14:05He will...
14:05Whatever you tell him, he will then tell...
14:08Tell the person.
14:08...bring up in front of everybody.
14:10You know?
14:10Let me go answer your last question.
14:12Yeah.
14:12I'm very much staying on track.
14:13That's what this is about.
14:14Well, yeah, I want to...
14:15Answering questions.
14:17That's really all it is.
14:18That is all it is.
14:21By the way, don't stop doing this again.
14:22I know I'm interrupting this interview.
14:24Yeah.
14:24This is great for you.
14:26Yeah.
14:26Take this vehicle.
14:26Don't treat...
14:27Treat it real.
14:28Don't go, oh, I'm going to take six months off.
14:30You fucking do this right, okay?
14:32I took six months off so we could do a bit.
14:39I don't even know.
14:40I figured out what you're talking about,
14:41because you must have shot something where you've been in that six months.
14:44Yes.
14:44Now you're trying to claim that was for the bit.
14:46It was for the bit.
14:48Oh, I couldn't wait.
14:48You built an arc.
14:49Oh.
14:50I built an arc.
14:51That was the idea.
14:52It didn't work.
14:53Do you have footage of it by any chance?
14:55You don't get that six months back.
14:57No.
14:57What did you do in the six...
14:58I want to...
14:59What did you do in the six months?
15:00The real thing?
15:01Yeah.
15:01Actually, I wrote...
15:02What did you do in that six months?
15:03I wrote a book.
15:04But you could have been doing this too.
15:06No.
15:06Maybe not.
15:07I tried.
15:07I tried to write my book while I did stand-up and this, and it was impossible.
15:13So you know what I did?
15:14I went to...
15:15What if HBO had given you this show?
15:17You'd do both.
15:18And this is better than HBO because you get to do exactly what you fucking want.
15:21So let me tell you something.
15:23How are you...
15:23They asked me to talk to you about this, the producers.
15:25Yes, yes.
15:26They're fed up with you.
15:27They're fed up.
15:28I'm your friend.
15:29They said, Todd, you're a friend.
15:30Let's book it.
15:31There's no cameras rolling.
15:32This is an intervention.
15:34It's Rickles.
15:34Guys, everybody move.
15:35I know.
15:36I'm your friend.
15:36I was just getting ready to say that.
15:38Rickles and the fake...
15:39You know what my favorite thing about Rickles is?
15:41Is the word indentation when you act insulted.
15:43How dare you?
15:44Someone pointed out that's what he's great at.
15:46And then after they pointed it out, I'm watching a video and someone goes,
15:49Now, did you pay to go to school or did you get a diploma?
15:51Fine question.
15:52He goes,
15:54What are you, a dumbbell?
15:55He goes, of course I pay.
15:57What do you think?
15:57I just walk in.
15:58I start doing some soft shoe and they say welcome in.
16:01Eh, read the questions.
16:02Don't be a dumbbell.
16:03I never liked a dumbbell.
16:05I can't get that out of my head.
16:06I never liked a dumbbell.
16:08Don't be a dumbbell.
16:09I never liked a dumbbell.
16:10Some people like dumbbells.
16:11Some people don't.
16:12Anyway, so, now back with the question.
16:14But we're talking about a book.
16:15Because I'm writing a book.
16:16And I want to talk about your book.
16:17Okay.
16:18What's it called, by the way?
16:19Can we show it to the camera?
16:20Yeah, it's called the Todd Glass Situation.
16:22I literally have a book.
16:24It's very exciting.
16:25It is exciting.
16:25And this is with Simon and Schuster, so it's no bullshit.
16:27You look like a young Treat Williams.
16:30Oh, I can see that.
16:31You've probably heard that before, I imagine.
16:33All the time.
16:34Have you?
16:34You can't say that if it's somebody good looking.
16:36You know, like, you know what I mean?
16:38Like if somebody goes, you look like, you know.
16:39Yeah.
16:39You're a gross looking Treat Williams.
16:41Yeah, you're.
16:43Yeah, Todd used to do a bit like that.
16:45You're Treat Williams if he was the better looking brother and you're the uglier brother.
16:48Yeah, yeah, yeah.
16:48That's what they're saying.
16:49Todd had a bit about that.
16:51I did.
16:51About Treat Williams?
16:53No, John Goodman.
16:54No, people, I had a bit.
16:56Oh, yes, of course.
16:56I wish I could.
16:57I've never had a bit, yeah, yeah.
16:58Yeah, I don't have to repeat it here.
16:59Did I hold that up long enough?
17:01It's called The Todd Glass Situation.
17:04Advance uncorrected proofs not for sale.
17:06Yeah, that's the name of it.
17:07I thought that was good.
17:09What?
17:10A Bunch of Lies About My Personal Life.
17:12Should I keep showing it?
17:14I forget the subtitle.
17:15I'll read it.
17:15A Bunch of Lies About My Personal Life and A Bunch of True Stories About My 30-Year Career.
17:21Good lord.
17:22Stand-up comedy.
17:23That's almost unbelievable.
17:25It is.
17:25You're a bit of a prodigy, weren't you?
17:27It is.
17:28All right.
17:28Sometimes when I think about it, it's like 30 years.
17:30How old were you?
17:31I start minusing years off.
17:33When you were a teenager?
17:34I started in high school.
17:35Goodness gracious.
17:36Yeah.
17:36I mean, obviously, I didn't get paid, but that's...
17:38No, it's dope.
17:39I count when I started by if I went up every week.
17:43Yeah.
17:43You know, it's not like I went up once and then went up eight months later.
17:47Where did you go?
17:47No, I went up the first open night night.
17:48You were from New Hampshire.
17:49Went up every week.
17:50Philadelphia.
17:51Philadelphia.
17:52Which one do you think it is?
17:53I think it's Philly.
17:54It's Philly.
17:55Philly.
17:55And you started at the Helium.
17:56No, no.
17:57That wasn't there.
17:57That didn't exist 30 years ago.
17:59I started at a place called...
18:00Were there clubs?
18:01Of course there were.
18:02In Philly, I mean.
18:03Yeah.
18:04Were there clubs in Philly?
18:05Yeah.
18:06This was 1982, so comedy clubs were becoming a thing more common in the suburbs than they'd
18:14ever been in the entire history of comedy.
18:15Yeah.
18:16And the thing was, there were a lot of great comedians, too.
18:19Yeah.
18:20I remember going down there.
18:21From Philly?
18:22No.
18:22They would come in from New York and LA.
18:24Oh, sure.
18:24This was a legitimate club.
18:25And Teddy Bergeron would show up.
18:27Everybody would be thrilled.
18:28No.
18:29We would have...
18:30This is 82.
18:30Now, they weren't big stars then, but of course I'm remembering the only ones.
18:34Greg Rogel.
18:34Greg Rogel.
18:35No.
18:38Well, I don't know.
18:38Who was it?
18:39Joe Bolster.
18:41Let me...
18:41Let me...
18:42Joe Bolster was there, but there was guys like Jerry Seinfeld would come in.
18:45Now, they were already special events.
18:45That's a big star.
18:46They would have...
18:47They had Jay Leno there.
18:49That's a big star.
18:49They had Jerry Seinfeld there.
18:50They had Gary Shandling.
18:51Barry Sobel.
18:51They had...
18:52Everybody was there.
18:53Those are big, big stars.
18:55Richard Lewis.
18:56Big stars?
18:57Am I...
18:58Is there a joke that I don't understand?
18:59No, I'm saying they're giant stars.
19:01Well, they weren't as big then.
19:02Like, Paul Reiser had just got done...
19:03I remember, because I was coming to see the shows, too.
19:06He had just done Diner.
19:07So, like, that was like in his intro.
19:08Hey, you know.
19:09Yeah, yeah.
19:09I think we had seen him in Diner.
19:11But that was like a big deal.
19:12Now he's here performing.
19:13Yeah.
19:13So it was a great club.
19:14Did you ever go on the road?
19:14I used to go on the road and people would make up...
19:17Shows?
19:18They would make up...
19:20Yeah, credits.
19:22Like, by making up shows.
19:24Like, he was on Uncle...
19:25No.
19:26You know, Uncle...
19:26No, they wouldn't make up shows.
19:28Pretend they were on the Dinah Shore show or the...
19:30Oh, I did that sometimes.
19:31Yeah, did you?
19:31Oh, sure.
19:32You have to.
19:33Get the crowd's attention.
19:33You know what I used to do when I was...
19:35Yeah.
19:35They were a really tough crowd.
19:36You made...
19:37You pretended you were from the...
19:38You were on the Dinah Shore show?
19:40No, I would...
19:41Shows like it that were more relevant.
19:43I was in June...
19:45Even I wasn't...
19:46I don't think I was doing comedy when Dinah Shore was on.
19:47Probably on Nightbeat with David Brenner.
19:50No, I would...
19:51How are you doing?
19:52You want to hear something?
19:53Bill Boggs you worked with a lot.
19:55Tell me about Bill Boggs.
19:58Are you trying to mess with my head a little bit?
20:01No, I'm asking you to tell me about Bill Boggs.
20:03I find Bill Boggs fascinating.
20:05Tell us about him.
20:06I don't know who that is.
20:07Tell us about Bill Boggs.
20:09No idea who you're talking about.
20:10No, who's Bill Boggs?
20:12Are you serious?
20:13Yes, I'm very serious.
20:14I have no idea.
20:14I'm being very honest with you.
20:15Why would I lie?
20:16Wade's brother?
20:17I don't know who Bill Boggs is.
20:18Do you really?
20:19Are you serious?
20:20Yes, I am.
20:20Look into my eyes.
20:22I'm serious.
20:22I'm very serious.
20:24No, I don't know who Bill Boggs is.
20:25The name sounds familiar.
20:27Oh, shut up.
20:28What are the odds?
20:29Smoke came billowing out of my mouth after half an hour.
20:32Really?
20:32You think your audience is that dumb?
20:33They're going to sit home and go, oh my God.
20:35Todd glanced half an hour into his interview.
20:37Smoke came billowing out of his mouth.
20:39So most people just consider that you're insane when you do that.
20:42That's all that's shown about you.
20:43Not that I'm a stoner, but you're insane.
20:46I asked that.
20:48What happened that made you do that?
20:50And I won't continue this interview until I want to know what just happened.
20:52Did you choke?
20:54Didn't you try to make it look like there was smoke coming out of my mouth?
20:57We're going to add that in post.
20:58I smell something.
20:59I'm honest.
21:00Thanks for being honest.
21:01I'm honest.
21:01That's what I like about you.
21:02You'll fuck with people, but you're also very honest.
21:05All mixed into one.
21:06We have a question.
21:07On your way here, I asked my Twitter followers if they had any questions for you.
21:11Okay.
21:11An enormous amount of questions came in.
21:13This is from Totesmagoats2.
21:15I don't want you to read if they're negative.
21:17No, of course not.
21:18Okay.
21:19Did you write your book?
21:20This is kind of an interesting question.
21:21Did you write your book in order, start to finish?
21:26Should I answer that seriously?
21:27Yes.
21:28Because you know what I learned?
21:29I learned, and I'm going to say this, and then I will forget it the rest of it.
21:32I will move on, but as a comedian.
21:34I learned, you know when you do radio interviews and they go, how did you start in comedy?
21:37Someone tells you early into your career.
21:39They just ask that.
21:40Don't explain it, because it's the only thing you're passionate about.
21:42It won't be funny.
21:43Just get into jokes.
21:44Yeah, yeah, yeah.
21:44You don't have to do joke jokes, but get into some funny dialogue with the guys.
21:47How did you start in comedy?
21:48Morph out of it.
21:49So I don't want to get caught now.
21:51But I don't know how to make this book.
21:52No, no.
21:52This is not Mark Maron, but you don't have to be funny at this particular moment, because
21:56this is an interesting question.
21:57There you go.
21:57So I wrote it, I sat down with it.
21:58It's also interesting for me, because I'm writing a book.
22:01I, um, uh, Alex, my manager, had asked me, like, would you ever write a book?
22:07Or some other client was writing a book.
22:08And I was like, I remember just going like a month before that, I could never do that.
22:11I would never be able to do that.
22:12And then, and you were talked into it by Howard Lapidus, your manager.
22:16Okay.
22:18Is that what you said?
22:20Who talked, who talked you into writing the book?
22:29I was talking into, I'm very, I don't want to make it look like I was talked into it.
22:33It's like pumping myself up.
22:34They date me.
22:35They asked, I said yes.
22:36Okay.
22:37That's how that happened.
22:38The publishers asked.
22:39Yeah.
22:40Yeah.
22:40Well, a middle person asked.
22:42Lapidus?
22:43No.
22:44A middle, like, sorry, a book broker.
22:46Oh.
22:46I didn't know there was such a thing.
22:48A book broker.
22:49I guess he hires the ghost writer.
22:51A book broker.
22:51It sounds like a carnet.
22:52Book broker.
22:55Book broker.
22:56Oh.
22:57What?
22:57What it was?
22:58I couldn't think of anything.
22:59You could do it.
22:59So anyway.
23:00You could do it.
23:00Book broker.
23:01And then you go, and you open the thing, and what do you read?
23:04I.
23:05Well, it's hard to think.
23:05Yeah, yeah.
23:06For book broker itself.
23:07We used to, we used to try that, but book broker's tough.
23:10So what do you do, Warren?
23:11So I'll finish my, finish it here.
23:12Yeah, yeah.
23:13So, if I should.
23:15Yeah, if I should.
23:15Yeah.
23:16Because I don't want people at home to go, I'm having a good time, but man, finish it.
23:19You know?
23:19No, no, no.
23:20People don't know.
23:21People don't know.
23:21They love you.
23:21They'll blame me.
23:22People don't know.
23:24So.
23:24So.
23:24Just me and you know.
23:25So.
23:26Me and you know.
23:26So I wrote.
23:27And this guy knows, I think.
23:29So I wrote.
23:29I mean, this guy can smell it, but.
23:31So I wrote.
23:33So I wrote it.
23:35He wrote up.
23:36We sat down and we, he, I just started talking because I had a ghostwriter, but I wrote
23:41the book.
23:42Yeah.
23:42I mean, I want to give him credit because he was amazing.
23:44He was a typist.
23:45Yeah.
23:46His name is Jonathan Grotstein and he was the ghostwriter.
23:48He was great.
23:49Yeah.
23:49You know, I was nervous.
23:50I would just sit and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk, which is sort
23:54of therapeutic.
23:54I'm not going to act like that part of it was hard.
23:56You know, you start telling your whole life story and things you don't think are interesting.
23:59He pulls out of you.
24:00Sometimes, you know, you, sometimes you genuinely don't go.
24:03Oh, I didn't even realize that was a cool story just because it's, it's, you know, and
24:06then everything makes sense in a weird way.
24:08It's a lot of therapy because I don't like to over-therapize things, but I think if it's
24:12legitimate and it's real and some of my life, the pieces of the puzzle.
24:15Oh, that's why I fucking do that.
24:17You're talking about a psychiatrist.
24:18Well, indirectly.
24:20By writing it, everything makes sense.
24:22Therapy means going to a psychiatrist.
24:24Yeah, either.
24:24Let's not mince words.
24:25I didn't mean to say mince.
24:27No, well, you shouldn't.
24:28By the way, Dan Mince wanted me to mention his name.
24:33So I wrote it, sort of, we told it my life story in order and then we went back and
24:37we,
24:38and then we did it.
24:39And I even had somebody work with me, Daniel Kino, which I paid out of my pocket.
24:42I know Daniel.
24:43It was hard.
24:44He's a funny guy.
24:45It was, it was great.
24:46But it's in my words.
24:47You know, he would come back to me with things.
24:48I would leave tons of voice messages for him.
24:50And then he would read it back to me and if I thought I liked it.
24:53Sometimes what was cool about it, it was better than I could have said it.
24:57Really?
24:57And those were when I was happy.
24:58I was like, fuck, that's good.
24:59We gotta take a break, Todd.
25:01But when we return, Todd Glass will read from his book.
25:05No, I won't.
25:06Stoned out of his fucking mind.
25:09We'll be back.
25:16We are back.
25:17So I wrote the book and, no, I'm just kidding.
25:23Todd Glass was just looking at his watch and asking people what time it was.
25:28No, you're like that friend I was talking about.
25:31I bet your watch probably looks like a fucking Salvador Dali fucking painting to you.
25:35You're so fucking stoned.
25:38No, it's okay.
25:39It's legal.
25:40Exactly.
25:41Matter of fact, I couldn't explain it better myself.
25:43I kept looking at my watch and it was like all weird.
25:45I'm like, what does this look like?
25:47Then when you go Salvador Dali, I go, thank you.
25:49One person knows what was in my head.
25:51We have a question.
25:52Sure.
25:53I'm gonna answer these questions very seriously.
25:55Well, I don't know.
25:55This, I don't know if I shouldn't say that.
25:57This might be negative.
25:59It's sort of funny to me.
26:00You know what?
26:00You wanna hear it?
26:02Yeah, why not?
26:02From Boozing and Snoozing, 1979.
26:04You famously came out on the Mark Barron Podcast, the WTF, right?
26:10Yes.
26:10And you have no regrets about that.
26:12Absolutely not.
26:13I can't believe I don't have any regrets, but yeah.
26:15That's awesome.
26:16Two years later.
26:16Yeah, it's fine.
26:17Two years?
26:18Mm-hmm.
26:18So this question is, your boyfriend, is he funny?
26:22Or is he like your Scott Thorson?
26:26Who's that?
26:28Liberace's lover.
26:29Oh.
26:32It's not the question.
26:33It's these people they're comparing me to.
26:35No, no.
26:38I just saw Liberace's car in Vegas.
26:40I was just in Vegas.
26:41What was it?
26:42It was like a super cool car, like a, what do you call it?
26:46You know what?
26:47I'm gonna interrupt you and go back to this letter.
26:49Okay, okay.
26:49I figured out why it annoyed me.
26:50Scott Thorson.
26:51Did it annoy you?
26:52No, no.
26:52Let me see it.
26:53I wanna hold it.
26:53It didn't annoy me, but I think it's very interesting.
26:56And there's gonna be two answers to this.
26:57Some people are gonna go, Todd's right.
26:59And by the way, I'm not even sure I'm right.
27:01Yeah.
27:01Did he really wanna know if the person I was with was funny?
27:07Yeah.
27:08I think he wanted to.
27:09Or was it his way to just compare me to Liberace and mention that?
27:12No, no, no.
27:12I think he wanted to know.
27:13Like, why the fuck would he wanna know that?
27:14Who's sitting home going, I wonder if the guy he dated, which he never talked about, nobody
27:19knows, is funny.
27:20You might go because he wants to know the dynamic in relationships.
27:23Yeah, yeah.
27:24Like, does it help if somebody's funny or can you?
27:25Yeah, yeah.
27:26Well, give me credit.
27:27What is that?
27:27No, no, no.
27:28I'm still not done.
27:30It's an insult.
27:30Of course I don't have fucking somebody like that.
27:33So it's him trying to be funny, and I know I'm high and right, and that should be the
27:36segment right now.
27:37No, but...
27:37I am high and I'm right, and I got through it.
27:39And I will shut up in a second.
27:40I think he tried to be funny in the second part, but the first part was, he was serious.
27:43Is your boyfriend funny or not?
27:44Or...
27:45Oh, the...
27:45Not even trying to be funny.
27:47Isn't he funny?
27:47I should've let you talk earlier because it makes a lot of sense.
27:49Yeah, he's trying to be funny.
27:50But he's asking you a serious question.
27:53Is he funny or are you the funny guy?
27:56He just did the same thing he always does.
27:57Yeah, they're both...
27:58Is he funny?
27:59We're both funny.
28:00He's obviously much funnier.
28:03You know what?
28:04Not...
28:04Obviously, he couldn't bring it to the stage, but off stage, no.
28:09I mean, just fucking pound the...
28:11Would make me fucking...
28:12Yeah.
28:12Like, laugh like I laugh at Eddie Pepitone or Andy Kindler or you.
28:15Yeah, yeah.
28:15Seriously.
28:15This question, random 311G, do you advise high school, other high school kids to try stand-up?
28:22You know something?
28:23First of all...
28:23You know when people come up to you and go, how do you get in stand-up?
28:27And I always go, just go on stage and do it.
28:29Yeah, here's what I tell people.
28:30I don't know if I can say this about acting.
28:32Yeah.
28:32When I'm talking to somebody younger that I know is funny.
28:34For some reason, whenever you see someone at a town and they're funny, maybe they're
28:37hosting the show, but you really think they're funny, it just ends up where I want to give
28:41them a little bit of a kick.
28:42Like, if they need it, if they're going, well, I'm going to school two nights a week.
28:45Dude, do fucking comedy, right?
28:47Yeah, yeah, yeah.
28:47And I was talking to somebody about this weekend when I was in Toronto, that sometimes you're
28:53dealing with people that you're talking comedy about, they're so young they still have their
28:55parents.
28:56Yeah, yeah, yeah.
28:56And they want to know what you're going to fall back on.
28:58And I was saying, you know why your parents want you to fall back on it?
29:01Because they think in stand-up, they don't understand that you might make, you know,
29:05no one might know you, but you can make $500,000 a year, a million dollars a year and not
29:10be
29:10a household name.
29:10They don't know there's those in-betweens.
29:12They just think.
29:13I didn't know that either.
29:14Well, we know guys in this business that are depressed that make $500,000 a year because
29:18they want more, or $253.
29:20Russell Peters makes millions.
29:22Do you all know what I'm talking about?
29:23Everyone knows Russell Peters.
29:25I mean, I know a comedian, look, people are going to figure out who it is, but I feel better
29:28off not saying, no, you know what, I'm not going to say it.
29:29We know, I know comedians that do, you don't know people.
29:33I'll ask how a comedian is.
29:34You'll understand my point in a second.
29:36I'll say to somebody, hey, whatever happened to that comic?
29:38They're like, oh, they're the show runner on that show or they're the head writer.
29:41They might not have been stand-up or they're a stand-up and they have their following and
29:45they're making like $200,000 a year.
29:47They don't realize that there's those in-betweens.
29:49They just think.
29:50I see.
29:50The young kid.
29:51The parents don't.
29:52But you're talking about this young 17-year-old that you're smoking weed with.
29:55It's not him that, he doesn't give a shit about it.
29:58It's his parents that are looking into the future and they're saying, what is your backup
30:04plan?
30:04I will get to my thing right here.
30:06What's your backup plan?
30:07If you're going to do comedy, you need a backup.
30:09So go to school.
30:10Get your finance.
30:10You won't need a backup plan.
30:12What's your backup plan to be if you're going to be an accountant or a doctor?
30:14Your parents never say that then.
30:15That's true.
30:16If you're going to be something they want you to be or a normal sort of normal job, they
30:21don't ever go, you're going to go to dentist school.
30:22What's your backup?
30:23Your backup plan?
30:23There won't be a fucking backup.
30:25I'm going to be a goddamn dentist.
30:26Exactly.
30:26So that's what I say if you want to be an actor or a comedian.
30:29My backup plan was always to be a failure.
30:31Well, there you go.
30:32And it's worked out.
30:33You're probably one of those guys making pretty good money and they're depressed.
30:37I'm not depressed.
30:38Oh, well.
30:39I'm glad to hear that.
30:40I feel that.
30:40I don't mean depressed.
30:41I mean, you know.
30:42I feel very lucky even when I got, like, I got whatever.
30:47But I think I lost a lot of money somehow.
30:51What do you mean?
30:51In a bucket or?
30:52No.
30:54Anyways.
30:54No, no.
30:55Tell me what you mean.
30:55I don't know.
30:56I was stolen from.
30:58Oh.
30:59Anyways.
31:00You know what?
31:00I feel bad.
31:01But I do feel lucky because I always think.
31:04That's good.
31:04I always think that I would take it.
31:07If I was asked, like, 30 years ago, do you want to be here at this place, you know,
31:13in your life?
31:13I would go, yes, of course.
31:15I would do it, you know?
31:16Right.
31:17Wouldn't you?
31:18Doing this podcast?
31:19In high school, if they told you, this is where you'll be in 30 years, you'd go,
31:22God damn, I'll take that.
31:24Oh, yeah.
31:24Well, you know, just, there's nothing worse than, you know, being positive that's not honest.
31:30Yes, I get jealous and I want more, obviously.
31:32But, yes, I am able to ask that question and go, yes.
31:35Are you shitting me?
31:36Of course I will.
31:36Also, what about when you're jealous?
31:38Like, you know, every comic I think thinks they want a talk show.
31:41You know what I'm saying?
31:42I wouldn't.
31:42I know I don't.
31:43You know you don't.
31:44This type of thing.
31:45You're in good shape though.
31:46First of all, that's hard.
31:49Oh, my God.
31:49When I look at guys, like, whether you like them or not.
31:52Unanswered prayers.
31:54Am I right?
31:54What do you mean?
31:56What's better than unanswered prayers?
31:58It's just, you know what it is?
31:59Having to interview people that, you know, the unanswered prayers is a song and it says
32:03don't, don't, some prayers.
32:05That you don't care about.
32:08Interviewing, especially a guy like David Letterman, I'm astonished at how good he is
32:11at interviewing people you know he has probably contempt for.
32:17Well, later in his career, probably less.
32:19Yeah.
32:20So that's the easier part when later in your career, you're at least getting A celebrities.
32:23Not that they can't be born.
32:24But what about, you know, when early on you got, that's hard.
32:28I look at what they do and you know what else?
32:29I'll even give a few of the late night guys a lot of credit.
32:31And I don't, I don't have to say who you like and who I don't like.
32:34But overall, there's a lot of people that took, right now, that took that format that
32:37was, what the fuck are you going to do with that format?
32:39Letterman freshened it up 30 years ago.
32:42And you're like, fucking that was amazing.
32:43Can't they just change it?
32:45I think some guys have done that.
32:46Who made it up?
32:47Steve Allen?
32:48But some, what I'm saying is I think even the old format, some guys are doing it.
32:51Who made up a desk and a chair?
32:52It's like being interviewed, a job interview or some fucking thing.
32:55Who thought that was a good idea?
32:57The coldness of it, you mean?
32:59Well, yeah.
32:59Why did everybody do that?
33:01Who made it up?
33:02Steve Allen?
33:02I never even thought about that.
33:03Who made it up?
33:04Well, the desk was.
33:05What other?
33:06Who, does anyone here know?
33:06You know what you should do?
33:09YouTube it and then put it under us later.
33:11Steve O'Donnell might know.
33:12Yeah, they don't give me that.
33:12Steve O'Donnell might know.
33:13You want to ask him?
33:14Steve O'Donnell?
33:15Oh yeah, I bet he would know.
33:16I'd say Steve Allen, Jack Parr.
33:18Steve Allen.
33:18That's what I said.
33:19That's what I thought.
33:20But I said that.
33:21But it certainly was years and years of...
33:25I said it and then fucking three minutes later, through his fucking marijuana fucking haze,
33:30he fucking thought of it.
33:31Whatever.
33:32Who, he thought of it?
33:33Yeah, him.
33:34Yeah, I know.
33:37But hold on.
33:39So even your saying is...
33:40He's the fucking guy that's stoned.
33:43Everybody is apparently to you.
33:44I'm not anymore, by the way, if it makes you feel any better.
33:47So joke's over, Norm.
33:48I'm 100% and I'm ready to go.
33:51Excellent.
33:52You just fell out of it.
33:53Excellent.
33:53And I'm sort of serious.
33:54Hey, here's a question.
33:55And I think I know one person you're going to say.
33:58But blogginmama32 says, what comics do you love?
34:03And I think we have the same favorite comic, don't we?
34:06Well, I can...
34:08There's a lot of comics that I...
34:10Like fuck Pryor and Carl and all that horseshit.
34:12No, no, no.
34:13We're talking about maybe...
34:14Actual comics.
34:15In the camp, I think we're both going into the same camp right now, I think.
34:19There's a lot of comics that I think are just awesome comics.
34:22But here's the way I know.
34:24Who makes me punch the wall?
34:25Yes.
34:26Because you can't make that up.
34:26You can't overanalyze.
34:27You don't have to sit around and go, well, yeah, do they make it on the list?
34:31It's the...
34:31You know who makes you punch a wall.
34:32That doesn't mean if they don't make you punch a wall, they're not fucking great.
34:36They just don't make you punch a wall.
34:38And no exaggerating, like 100%.
34:41Eddie Pepitone makes me literally where I'm like fucking punching the wall.
34:44I'll go back.
34:45Kevin Meany was one of the first guys.
34:47That's great.
34:48Big pants people.
34:49To this day.
34:50We're not big pants people.
34:52It was the fucking funniest thing on this planet.
34:54You should know who Kevin Meany is.
34:56Because either I know nothing or he makes it into a small list of people that like...
35:00I remember literally like when people say, oh, my face hurts.
35:03You just think they meant, I get what you mean.
35:05No, my face would hurt from watching Kevin Meany perform.
35:09And guys like Brian Regan can do that.
35:11Yes, that's what I was thinking.
35:12Andy Kindler on a like...
35:13Yeah.
35:14But Brian Regan don't...
35:16Some are less than others.
35:17I don't want to say which.
35:18Wouldn't you put Brian Regan right at the top of the punch the wall guys consistently?
35:25Isn't this a dangerous area?
35:26Because if they're in there, why tell you where they are?
35:29But Eddie Pepitone's the top.
35:31Oh, he is.
35:32Eddie?
35:33Eddie's the...
35:33Oh, geez, it's hard.
35:34They're all in there.
35:35You know what?
35:36No bullshit?
35:37Eddie's probably the funniest just improviser.
35:42Just off the top of his head, right?
35:46Whereas Brian's bits.
35:48They both do it in that way for me.
35:50Eddie's so consistent.
35:51It is stupid even comedically to try to say who's where because it's sort of...
35:54And Todd Glass.
35:56Well, I don't include myself.
35:56You make me punch the wall.
35:58What about when you were younger?
35:59Like some of the old guys.
36:01Like who would make...
36:02It was your Eddie Pepitone of that era.
36:03I remember to go see...
36:04I remember me and my friends...
36:06You know, I figured something out and I think me and Doug Benson talked about this.
36:09Some comedy...
36:10This leads to one of those comics.
36:12Some...
36:12Well, here's what happens.
36:14Comedy can be not your thing and you can leave a club not mad at the headline.
36:17You just go, that wasn't our thing.
36:18But then there becomes something that's so unique that I figured out why it makes the audience mad.
36:22Because they're sitting there going, you know, you're not trying.
36:25This isn't what you think is funny.
36:27Does this make sense?
36:28And they're mad at you.
36:29It probably made sense to Doug Benson as my guest.
36:32No, no.
36:33Well, I don't understand.
36:34We were having a conversation about stand-up.
36:37Hold on.
36:38Am I lost here?
36:39Go ahead.
36:39Go.
36:41No, it sounds...
36:42I mean, not to say...
36:44It just sounds like a stoner conversation.
36:46Oh.
36:46You know what?
36:47I'm not stoned like Doug Benson, so I'm trying to figure it out.
36:50I know I'm making sense and I'm going to re-watch this.
36:52Did it make sense to you?
36:54Let me...
36:54I blanked out.
36:56You blanked out?
36:57As I tend to do.
36:58We were talking about...
36:59Yeah.
36:59Oh, no, no, no, no.
37:00You know what?
37:00I watch these things.
37:02No, no.
37:02And then sometimes I always think I'm wrong.
37:03You could be wrong.
37:04Sure.
37:05Okay?
37:05So let me get this out.
37:07Norm, I go long-winded.
37:08And when I get three seconds for making my point, that's when I get...
37:13Sure.
37:13If you come in right there, I'm like, oh, that was all set up.
37:15I was three seconds for delivering people to...
37:18Oh!
37:19You asked me what were those comics back in Philadelphia that I was just mentioning.
37:24And of course, David Brenner was the biggest comic ever to come out of Philadelphia.
37:28Well, again...
37:29He just passed away and we should talk about him.
37:31Yeah, we should.
37:32But let me finish this sentence and I don't even think David Brenner would mind if he's watching.
37:35You think you're going to pull that one on me?
37:37Let's talk about David Brenner.
37:39Todd will never be able to derail this.
37:41He's probably watching from...
37:43Actually, probably from down below, getting raped by the devil.
37:46Well...
37:46I mean, that guy had some sins that he died with, but whatever.
37:50What are you talking about?
37:51No, I'm just saying...
37:52No, I'm saying David Brenner led a life that made Sodom and Gomorrah seem like Burbank and...
37:59No, first of all, I have...
38:02Look, there's things I say negative about people.
38:04Well, I don't want to make it look like I'm all positive.
38:06Oh, no, he's a great...
38:07David Brenner, like...
38:08He's one of the greatest observational commentators.
38:11He started that whole thing.
38:12Yeah, no, I'm saying in real life.
38:13I know.
38:14He wore big fur coats and...
38:16He did?
38:16He had a lot of ladies.
38:16He was like Liberace.
38:17I wonder who was funnier, his partner or him.
38:20He was highly promiscuous with ladies.
38:23I didn't know that.
38:23But that gets you into hell?
38:25Huh?
38:26But are you an angel?
38:27Being promiscuous gets you a ticket to hell?
38:28Who knows what you're doing?
38:29Huh?
38:31What?
38:32What?
38:32Okay, let me...
38:35I've been growing up.
38:36Let me ask you something.
38:37I'm gonna ask.
38:37Let me tell you something.
38:38I may never get to heaven, but I've walked down the 18th green at Augusta on a Sunday,
38:43my friend.
38:43How would you describe your comedy?
38:46That's nice.
38:46Tell the folks at home...
38:47Why would you ask me the worst question in radio to describe my comedy?
38:52No, but tell the folks at home.
38:53Why don't you describe blue to the audience?
38:55Because this is what I'm interested in.
38:57Because this is what I'm interested in.
38:57I'm interested in how self-aware...
39:01Now, obviously, it's hard under your condition.
39:08But I want to find out how self-aware you are of your own appeal.
39:13Because you're an extremely appealing comic.
39:15Well, that's very sweet.
39:16You know, there was a thing I read about Woody Allen, and he went on the stage, and a lot
39:22of the people did much better than him.
39:24And he was upset, and his manager said, no, no, it's what you leave on the stage.
39:29That was his remark upon Woody Allen.
39:32And so I always thought, well, a guy like Andrew Dice Clay would destroy, you know, and have
39:39me hitting the wall, as you say.
39:41But then afterwards, maybe you'd feel a little queasy.
39:45Whereas you kill, and then you leave something nice on the stage.
39:51You know, it's one thing to make people laugh.
39:53It's another to make people smile.
39:57Wow.
39:58So why don't you tell the folks at home...
40:00That was nice.
40:02I did not say anything.
40:03I thought it was deserved to lay there and just have a nice moment.
40:06Well, I like you.
40:07I think that was actually nice.
40:08I like you.
40:08What would you say to the folks at home?
40:10How would you describe yourself?
40:12I wouldn't describe myself, but I do like to talk about this, and I'm curious what you
40:16think.
40:17So it sort of describes indirectly, maybe, what you asked.
40:19My ears just popped.
40:22I really do.
40:23I watch old...
40:24I don't want to say the guy's high, but his ears just popped.
40:28Anyway.
40:32Why do I get so much joy out of that?
40:36It's so open to the top.
40:42So you're going to say something indirectly.
40:43And we're going to answer that comedian in Philadelphia, too.
40:46The crowd's going to be very impressed.
40:48They're going to be like, you know, they went all over the place, but they always came
40:51back to their...
40:51Yeah.
40:52...to who you liked when you were young in Philadelphia.
40:54Yeah.
40:55We're going to go back to who you liked when you were young in Philadelphia.
41:04Yeah.
41:05Yeah.
41:05Yeah.
41:05You don't know nothing about clients.
41:06To think for tonight...
41:06We can keep proper, too, awesome for nothing.
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