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00:00From Hollywood, it's Jimmy Kimmel Live!
00:04Tonight, Bob Odenkirk and Paul Walter Hauser
00:08with the Klee Tones.
00:11And now, Jimmy Kimmel!
00:15Jimmy Kimmel Live!
00:18Jimmy Kimmel Live!
00:20Jimmy Kimmel Live!
00:22Jimmy Kimmel Live!
00:24Very nice.
00:32Hi, I'm Jimmy.
00:34I'm Mr. Schultz.
00:35That's very kind.
00:36Thank you, thank you for watching.
00:38Thanks for coming out to see us at our home here
00:41in please relax in beautiful sunny Southern California.
00:47I'm glad you're in a good mood.
00:49You know, it's April 15th.
00:50It's tax day.
00:52Although you could make a case of that every day
00:54since November of 2024 has been taxing.
00:57But today is officially that special time of the year
01:00when we all pitch in to pay for Melania's new plane.
01:04And why is it, I was thinking about this day,
01:06why is it we don't learn about, we learn nothing about taxes
01:09in high school.
01:11Instead, we learn how to calculate the volume of a cylinder.
01:15That's not helpful.
01:16Hey, here's a fun tax day tip.
01:19Take however much you owed in taxes this year.
01:21Let's say you owed $50,000.
01:23Subtract that number from the same number.
01:25Subtract $50,000 from $50,000.
01:29And you know what you get?
01:29You get the amount Donald Trump paid in taxes this year.
01:33Tax filing is next week, and if you listen to the people,
01:37they can't believe all the money they're getting back
01:39in the form of refunds.
01:40The number is $5,000, $6,000, $7,000.
01:45So be careful, get the money back,
01:47and remember who got it for you.
01:49The guy who drove us another $3 trillion into debt?
01:53Is that the guy?
01:53He got it for us.
01:55That's our money.
01:56You didn't get anything for us.
01:57You take from us.
01:59That's all you do.
02:00Remember 10 years ago?
02:03It's funny how we just let this go,
02:05but 10 years ago when Trump was running,
02:07he said he couldn't release his taxes
02:09because they were still under audit,
02:11which was unverifiable.
02:12But he said he would as soon as they weren't being audited,
02:16and he didn't.
02:16And remember when we found out
02:18he paid a total of $750 in taxes in 2016
02:22and $750 in 2017?
02:28Every president since Jimmy Carter
02:30has released his tax returns while in office
02:33with only one exception.
02:35You want to guess who it is?
02:37Has the president filed his taxes,
02:39and is he going to release them publicly?
02:40It's actually a very good question.
02:42I have not inquired with the president directly
02:44about his own taxes, but I'm happy to do so
02:47and we'll get you an answer on that.
02:48And you will never hear from me again,
02:50because...
02:52Although I will say Trump's accountant said
02:54his tax returns are the strongest
02:55and healthiest returns he's ever seen.
02:58They're hung like a horse.
03:00He has no dependents, but a lot of depends,
03:03and I'm sure he'll be playing plenty.
03:06Lots of stores offered tax day deals today.
03:09Krispy Kreme had a deal today
03:10where if you buy a dozen donuts,
03:12you get a second dozen free.
03:14And I think we can all agree
03:14that there is nothing more American
03:16than paying your taxes
03:18and then eating 24 donuts by yourself.
03:21There are thousands and thousands
03:24of licensed tax professionals
03:26here in the United States.
03:27That's a lot of competition,
03:29which means some of them
03:30around this time of the year,
03:31like this clever shop out of Houston,
03:33have to get creative.
03:56We're gonna make sure you get that max refund.
04:01You got a couple kids and you a single,
04:03baby mom.
04:04Don't worry about it, little girl.
04:06That's my job.
04:08Oh, wait a minute.
04:15Ernst and Young are a lot more fun
04:17than I would have guessed.
04:19Meanwhile, our Dorothy Vader president
04:21is lashing out at the pope again.
04:22This is how he operates.
04:23He does something dumb.
04:25Everyone around him tries to clean it up for him.
04:27And then he just does it again.
04:28He's mad at the pope for being against war
04:31and lashed out last night just before midnight,
04:35which is not helping his
04:37I'm not the Antichrist campaign.
04:39And then this morning,
04:40you know that image Trump posted of himself
04:41as Jesus and claimed it was a doctor?
04:43Well, this time he posted another one.
04:45It was not him as Jesus,
04:46but with Jesus he posted this image
04:51of Jesus quietly begging him to stop.
04:55And you know, I don't know if you know this,
04:57but you know he thinks artists make these.
05:00He thinks they're paintings.
05:02For real.
05:02He doesn't realize this is an AI thing.
05:04And check out the chin and cheekbones on it.
05:06Somebody has, somebody's been looks-maxing.
05:11Here's another one.
05:12Trump didn't post this,
05:13but I'm sure he will get to it.
05:15This one shows Jesus looking over Trump's shoulders
05:18as he reads the Epstein files.
05:19He's like, you're going to hell for this
05:22and this and this.
05:24You know, it's been a long time
05:28since God smited someone.
05:31We are now on day three of Hormuzapalooza.
05:35We still can't seem to get a straight answer
05:36on what's going on over there.
05:38Trump says the straight is closed,
05:40but he also says it's open.
05:41It's whatever you want it to be.
05:43Gas prices are sky high,
05:45but our Secretary of Energy, Chris Wright,
05:47is confident that whatever the president is doing
05:50is good, even if it isn't.
05:52God bless President Trump's agenda
05:54and willingness to pivot.
05:56Just because it looks like we're going
05:58the wrong direction
05:59does not mean that's the direction we're going.
06:07This is why his wife won't drive with him.
06:10Trump is desperate to change the narrative right now
06:13and sat for a doozy of an interview
06:15with Maria Baradaromo,
06:16who, like everyone,
06:17is curious as to when this war might be over.
06:21I had to divert because if I didn't do that,
06:24right now you would have Iran with a nuclear weapon,
06:27and if they had a nuclear weapon,
06:29you would be calling everybody over there, sir,
06:32and you don't want to do that.
06:33Well, you keep saying was.
06:34Is this war over?
06:36I think it's close to over, yeah.
06:38I mean, I view it as very close to over.
06:41Honestly, Maria, I have no idea what's happening
06:43or what I'm doing.
06:45I said COVID was over two years before it was over.
06:47Did you know that before they made me president,
06:50I hosted a reality TV show?
06:52Did you see that Britain suffered the biggest growth forecast
06:55downgrade in the G7?
06:57Yeah, well.
06:58So their economy is impacted.
07:00It's the UK.
07:00I would say this.
07:02They got to stop with the windmills,
07:04and they got to open up the North Sea.
07:06What?
07:08They got to stop with the windmills.
07:10You have to stop with the windmills.
07:12What is with him and the windmills?
07:14Every...
07:16Every problem comes back to windmills.
07:19Every day I become more convinced that Trump's father
07:22used to beat him with a miniature golf club.
07:24In the shadow of a windmill.
07:27And then John Quixote managed to steer the conversation
07:30into yet another of his old man's story loops.
07:33You can call it the Strait of Hormuz
07:35or the Hormuz Strait.
07:37I said, which is better?
07:38They said, either is okay.
07:40But you can call it either one.
07:41The only thing you can't call it is the Trump Strait.
07:44They don't like that idea.
07:45By the way, speaking of that,
07:47I did a thing that people like very much,
07:50except for Mexico.
07:51I took the Gulf of Mexico.
07:53We now call it the Gulf of America.
07:55That's not bad.
07:57Wow, thanks for telling us.
07:58I don't think you've ever mentioned that before.
08:01Guillermo, did you know he changed the Gulf of Mexico
08:03to the Gulf of America?
08:04No idea.
08:05Oh, wow.
08:06And no one calls him on it.
08:07Everyone just nods like it's the first time they've heard this.
08:10I don't know if you've noticed,
08:11but he's also now laying the groundwork for his excuse
08:14for why it won't be his fault
08:16when the Republicans lose the midterms.
08:18Why is it that a voter votes for the opposite party?
08:22Even when you have a good president,
08:24I think I had the greatest year,
08:26the greatest opening year.
08:27I've read the greatest...
08:30Look, I ended eight wars.
08:32A ninth is coming.
08:33But I ended eight wars.
08:35Nobody's ever ended one war.
08:37Who's ended one?
08:38Nobody.
08:38I ended eight.
08:41That's right.
08:42Nobody's...
08:42Every war in history is still going on
08:45because no one ever ended one
08:48except him who ended eight.
08:50And a ninth is coming.
08:51Do you get credit for ending a war you started?
08:54I don't think you do.
08:55This war is going so poorly for Trump,
08:57he may need Melania to hold another surprise press conference
09:00just to get Epstein back in the news again.
09:03Trump's now former Attorney General Pam Bondi
09:06could be held in contempt for failing to testify.
09:09She was supposed to appear
09:10before the House Oversight Committee yesterday.
09:13The Department of Justice is claiming
09:14that she's allowed to ignore their subpoena
09:17because she's no longer Attorney General,
09:19which is not how it goes.
09:21If you work at Starbucks and you punch a customer,
09:24you can't just quit and say,
09:26Barista me punched that dude regularly.
09:29It's off the hook.
09:32Pam Bondi has a lot to answer.
09:36More than a year ago, she claimed she had
09:39the Epstein client list sitting on her desk.
09:41That was her quote.
09:42And then all of a sudden, she didn't have it.
09:45Unfortunately, Republicans on the committee
09:47like Lauren Boebert and Tim Burchett
09:48are indicating they may let her off the hook,
09:50which is outrageous.
09:52They forced Hillary Clinton to testify.
09:54Pam Bondi needs to show up and lie under oath
09:57just as scheduled.
09:59And then we have J.D. Vance,
10:03who, according to the latest polling,
10:05is the least popular vice president
10:07in more than two decades.
10:08Weirdly, Americans don't seem to be responding
10:10to J.D.'s infectious charisma.
10:13Maybe...
10:14Maybe it's time for a new eyeliner.
10:16I don't know.
10:17But J.D. Vance may be deeply unpopular,
10:19but you wouldn't know it from this sitting-room-only crowd
10:22in Athens, Georgia, yesterday.
10:25It doesn't bother me when he speaks on issues today.
10:29Frankly, even when I disagree with how
10:31he's applying original principles, so...
10:33There are more people in the theater
10:34to see the Melania documentary than J.D. Vance.
10:37J.D. has had a rough week.
10:40He failed to make a deal to end the war in Iran.
10:43He had to defend Trump bashing the Pope
10:45and the AI Jesus stuff, and now he's made it his job
10:48to try to pretend his boss wasn't a close friend
10:51of the world's most notorious pedophile.
10:54One of the emails is about Donald Trump
10:56narking on Jeffrey Epstein to the local sheriff,
10:59saying, this guy's a scumbag.
11:00You should go and pick him up.
11:02So, when Donald Trump says...
11:03When the president says, this is a hoax,
11:06he's not saying it's a hoax that Epstein was the scumbag.
11:08He's not saying that it's a hoax that Epstein
11:10was connected to powerful people.
11:12He's saying this Democratic idea
11:15that somehow he was Epstein's best friend,
11:17that is a hoax.
11:18Oh!
11:19Now it's clear.
11:21They weren't best friends.
11:22They were just extremely horny acquaintances together.
11:25By the way, you think Trump and J.D. Vance
11:27have ever had a conversation about this
11:29where J.D. asked him,
11:31what actually happened with Jeffrey Epstein?
11:33Not a chance.
11:34He's pulling every bit of this out of his ass.
11:37If you look at the emails,
11:38it's obvious that Jeffrey Epstein hated Donald J. Trump.
11:41And by the way, one of the best signs
11:44for whether you're a good person or not,
11:47for whether you're a decent human being,
11:48is if the worst people in the world hate your guts.
11:51The fact that Jeffrey Epstein hates Donald J. Trump
11:53is a pretty good thing for Donald J. Trump.
11:56What does it say if the Pope doesn't like you?
11:58Is that a good sign?
12:01For Donald J. Trump?
12:04For Donald J. Trump.
12:06Whenever they say Donald J. Trump,
12:09that's when you know something is up.
12:11Not only has Trump publicly said Jeffrey Epstein
12:13was a terrific guy who was a lot of fun to hang around with,
12:16not only do they have Epstein on tape saying
12:18I was Donald's closest friend for 10 years,
12:21there is a videotape of them dancing
12:24and checking out chicks together.
12:26And you can see how intensely the dislike is here.
12:29Look at them.
12:30Look at those two non-friends having a terrible time.
12:33And he's still dancing around Epstein many, many years later.
12:37You know, there are a lot of kooks in this Trump administration.
12:39Somehow, though, they keep coming.
12:41My new favorite character is this guy, Greg Phillips.
12:44I don't know if you've been following this story,
12:46but Greg Phillips is a Trump-loving...
12:48He's third in command at FEMA
12:50who claims to have teleported to a Waffle House.
12:54And not just a Waffle House.
12:56He said he once collapsed at a Lowe's
12:59and woke up at a McDonald's
13:01with 15,000 steps logged and a Big Mac in his lap.
13:05And CNN says he said Satan once spoke to him
13:09while he walked across Spain.
13:11Now, since CNN broke this story,
13:13the White House reportedly told FEMA
13:14to either remove Phillips
13:16or keep him out of public view.
13:18And if you're wondering how crazy
13:19a member of the Trump club has to be
13:21to be kept out of public view,
13:23the answer is this much.
13:25So I'm a few hundred meters from the location
13:29where I had the encounter with Satan.
13:33Catherine, can I say something?
13:35Mm-hmm?
13:36I would like to punch that bitch in the mouth right now.
13:39Who are we talking about?
13:40Biden.
13:41He is a nasty,
13:43s***,
13:43crappy human being.
13:45And he deserves to die.
13:47And I hope he does.
13:47Satan lied to me.
13:49He convinced me to pour out my water bottle
13:51to reduce my pack weight.
13:52I tell you, teleporting is no fun.
13:54I end up at a Waffle House
13:56like 50 miles away from where I was.
13:58They said, where are you?
13:59I said, a Waffle House.
14:00They said, pfft, Waffle House where?
14:02And I said, Waffle House in Rome, Georgia.
14:05They said, that's not possible.
14:06You just left here like a moment ago.
14:08But it was possible.
14:09It was real.
14:10Oh, yeah, we believe you.
14:11Of course it was real.
14:13Can you imagine that when an emergency happens,
14:16this man is third in command in the whole country?
14:19Just when you think this administration
14:20can't get any nutty.
14:23Excuse me.
14:24I ordered a sausage link with this.
14:30Hey, where the hell am I?
14:32Wait a minute.
14:33Are you Greg Phillips from FEMA?
14:35Yes.
14:36Wait, are you Jimmy Fallon?
14:38Close enough.
14:39Close enough.
14:40We were just talking about you.
14:41Where am I?
14:43You're in Hollywood.
14:45You're in a television studio.
14:46How did I get here?
14:49I don't know how you got here.
14:50I have no idea.
14:52What's this?
14:52I was just at a Waffle House eating an all-star breakfast
14:55combo, as you can see.
14:56And now I'm here.
14:59I think I might have teleported.
15:01Greg, though, that's crazy.
15:03So there must be some other explanation.
15:06That's not what Satan told me at the Masters.
15:09You spoke to Satan at the Masters?
15:11Does Satan play golf?
15:12No, no, no.
15:13But all of his friends do.
15:14Oh.
15:14Yeah.
15:15And you'll never guess what he told me about our nation's
15:18greatest president, Donald J. Trump.
15:22What did he tell you?
15:23Can I speak freely?
15:24Oh, yes.
15:24You are among friends here.
15:25Go ahead.
15:27Good.
15:28The Dark Lord told me that the Epstein files were written by a
15:32secret cabal of radical leftist, transgender Illuminazis
15:36who are plotting to...
15:40Greg?
15:43What are they plotting, Greg?
15:44What are they...?
15:47I don't know.
15:48I guess we'll never find out.
15:51Guillermo, when a man comes crawling at me on the floor,
15:54aren't you supposed to do something about it?
15:56Well, he disappeared too fast.
15:58Oh, OK.
16:00You know, with all this madness happening,
16:02it's easy to forget that ICE is still out there rounding
16:04people up and sending them who the hell knows where.
16:07But there are also still Americans out there fighting
16:10the good fight.
16:11You know, in February, the protesters in Minneapolis
16:14held an event called Operation Dildo Blitz.
16:16They brought a battalion of rubber sex toys.
16:20Sometimes you have to fight dildos with dildos.
16:23And I guess this idea is catching on because there have
16:26been dildo blitzes in...
16:28This is, um, Los Angeles, there's a dildo blitz.
16:31Uh, that one is another one here in L.A.
16:34In Portland, Oregon, there were just dildos all over the place.
16:39Where do they get these dildos?
16:40I don't know.
16:41Maybe from the Rudy Giuliani collection, but...
16:44It's a nice and harmless way to let ICE know
16:47what you think of them.
16:48I mean, all those...
16:48This El Nino is nuts, right?
16:50All the dildos...
16:51Hey!
16:53Aw, .
16:55Greg, what's going on?
16:57You're back?
16:57What...
16:58I guess so.
16:59Were you in Hawaii?
17:01Uh, no.
17:02I was at a Hawaiian-themed wedding in Orlando.
17:05Oh.
17:05Aloha, everyone!
17:06Oh, Greg, shouldn't you maybe teleport back
17:09to FEMA headquarters to get ready for the hurricane season?
17:13Yeah, I probably should.
17:15Uh, here.
17:16Hold my ham.
17:17Okay, thank you.
17:18And, uh...
17:22This dildo that somebody, uh, crazy glued to my car windshield.
17:25Oh, yeah, yeah.
17:26You know, you can keep that.
17:27Why don't you take that back to FEMA?
17:29Sure.
17:29Yeah, I think the gang back there would like it, huh?
17:31Alexa, teleport!
17:35All right.
17:35Well, there you go.
17:36Well, we have a good show for your night.
17:38Paul Walter Hauser is here.
17:40We got ham for everybody.
17:41We'll be right back with Bob Odenberg.
17:48That's what you feel.
17:58Adrian DeLeon sitting in with the Cletones tonight.
18:01Thank you for being here tonight.
18:02His new movie is called Balls Up.
18:04Paul Walter Hauser is with us.
18:07Tomorrow night, Molly Shannon and Weird Al Yankovic will join us.
18:12Music from Melanie Martinez.
18:14And, uh, tonight, our first guest is an Emmy and Peabody Award winner
18:18who finds himself as a temporary sheriff up to his neck in trouble in the new movie Normal.
18:23It opens in theaters Friday.
18:25Please welcome Bob Odenkirk.
18:42It's very good to see you.
18:44How are you?
18:45I'm great.
18:46I'm great.
18:46Yeah.
18:47Things seem to be just going your way in general, right?
18:50Yeah.
18:50Yeah.
18:50Things are going my way.
18:52I'm a real winner.
18:53Yeah.
18:55Yeah.
18:55Yeah, I'd say so.
18:56Since the last time you were here, I know you got a Tony Award nomination.
18:59I did.
19:00That's amazing.
19:03It's unbelievable.
19:04I got to be on Broadway, and they welcomed me with open arms, and I had a blast.
19:10Did you ever imagine that that is the direction that your career would take?
19:14No.
19:14Oh, no.
19:14Have you thought about doing a musical?
19:16Uh, yeah.
19:18Yeah?
19:19Yeah, just because I like to mess with people's minds.
19:23Uh-huh.
19:23Uh, yeah.
19:24I saw you sing the national...
19:25No, no.
19:26Take Me Out to the Ball Game at the Cubs game.
19:27Yeah.
19:28I've sung it six or so times at Wrigley Field, yeah.
19:32That's...
19:32You must like it.
19:33In honor of all...
19:34You can't...
19:34There's nothing better.
19:36There's a reason I got into show business, is to someday be asked to sing Take Me Out
19:41to the Ball Game at Wrigley Field.
19:43Did your family come to see you when you do that?
19:46Uh, my mom saw me...
19:48Uh-huh.
19:48...on TV...
19:49Oh, okay.
19:50...sing at the game.
19:52And, uh, you can't...
19:54There's nothing greater.
19:55Although, I will say, when I met Ditka...
19:59Oh, all right.
20:00That was like, well, that's it.
20:01That's a big deal.
20:01Yeah, right, yeah, yeah.
20:02So, meet Ditka, sing at Wrigley Field.
20:06Do you go back to Chicago?
20:07I do, as much as I can.
20:08Yeah, I'll try to get back there as soon as the Cubs start winning.
20:11Yeah.
20:12Uh, no, no, no.
20:13We're doing it.
20:14We're gonna be okay.
20:15We're gonna have our injuries now.
20:18We're having them now.
20:19Get them out of the way.
20:20Get them out of the way.
20:21Uh-huh, yeah.
20:22Any time to get better.
20:24Yeah, both our teams are in last place right now.
20:26I went to the Mets-Dodgers game last night.
20:28It was very sad.
20:28Yeah, it's hard.
20:29Yeah, I think you have to have a little bit of a loser.
20:30You have so much hope.
20:31Although...
20:31Mentality.
20:32Although, I don't know what it's like, where you're from.
20:34But, uh, being a Chicagoan, if the Cubs were winning...
20:38Uh-huh.
20:38...the start, then I might...
20:40I would feel like, oh, we're doomed.
20:41Same here.
20:42That's exactly what I feel.
20:43Because we're struggling.
20:44Just struggling.
20:45We got a great team.
20:46We got a great team.
20:48I know we got a shot.
20:51You like to get...
20:52Yes, because you...
20:53Yeah.
20:53The heartbreak doesn't happen if they start out bad.
20:56Yeah, yeah, yeah.
20:56It can only happen...
20:57I don't know.
20:58It's just that feeling of, I'm definitely doomed if they're winning.
21:02I understand that all too well.
21:04Yeah, yeah.
21:04All too well.
21:05You, um, you did a...
21:07You had your movie premiere, I know, like, in that area, right?
21:10Like a couple hours away from...
21:11We showed, uh, this movie Normal in Chicago.
21:13We also showed it in the town of Normal, Illinois.
21:16Which is a...
21:17Normal, Illinois.
21:17Small town.
21:18It's not as small as you might think.
21:19It has a college in it.
21:20But we showed it, and the people went crazy, as you can imagine.
21:24We named it after Normal.
21:26The writer Derek Kolstad of this film, who also wrote, uh, the Nobody films.
21:31If you've seen...
21:31Your first two after movies.
21:33Yeah.
21:33Uh, he, uh...
21:36He had written this story about a sheriff, an interim sheriff.
21:41A substitute teacher sheriff.
21:44And you remember how you treated the substitute teacher, right?
21:47Right, right, right.
21:48Well, sort of, same thing.
21:49Yeah.
21:50And, uh, he had written this story, and we were talking about it, and talking about the
21:54small town.
21:55And I said, you know, there's a great town that's got a great name for this.
21:59Normal.
22:00And, uh, he dug it.
22:02He liked it?
22:03Right for it.
22:03And the people of Normal went nuts.
22:05Oh, yeah, sure.
22:06They went nuts.
22:06They got to see the movie, and they absolutely loved it.
22:09It wasn't.
22:09You didn't shoot in Normal, though, right?
22:10No, we didn't.
22:11But, uh, but we showed them what their town would look like if we bombed it.
22:19It's handy to know.
22:21You know, your, uh, your buddy David Cross was here last week.
22:24Or maybe it was the week before.
22:25I don't know.
22:26It's all running together.
22:26There's some patchouli.
22:30He told me about a trip that you guys took together, uh, to Machu Picchu.
22:35Yeah, so we climbed Machu Picchu.
22:36The, uh, historic...
22:37I have a photograph of you guys climbing.
22:39Oh, look at that.
22:40Look at those two exhausted old men.
22:42Yeah, yeah, you're not...
22:43And they haven't paved this at all, have they?
22:45No, no.
22:46All the steps are a different height.
22:48You gotta pay attention when you walk there.
22:50Who was the stronger climber of the two of you?
22:53Me.
22:53You were.
22:55Is this something that you always wanted to do?
22:57Yeah, it was on my bucket list.
22:59It was.
22:59Oh, you have a bucket list.
23:00Oh, yeah.
23:01I have it with me.
23:01You don't seem like a bucket list.
23:02I actually have it with me.
23:03You have what with you?
23:05My bucket list.
23:06Oh, you've got an actual bucket.
23:08Oh, I take this wherever I go.
23:10And you take it live?
23:12Just in case you have to add something?
23:14Just in case I think of something.
23:16Can you tell us some of the things that are in your bucket?
23:18Well, things I haven't done yet?
23:20Yeah.
23:20Okay.
23:21All right.
23:25Endanger one species.
23:27Oh, that's good.
23:28Okay.
23:30Solid.
23:30Just one.
23:31Just one.
23:32And if everyone does that, we'll get where we're going.
23:38We won't get bit.
23:41Oh, yeah.
23:43Go to the Cheesecake Factory and see how the cheesecake tastes.
23:49Is it any good?
23:51You never had it, huh?
23:52I've had everything else on the menu.
23:55That's a big menu.
23:57I've gone once a day for eight years.
24:03Oh, this is fun.
24:05And you'll remember this from childhood.
24:06Okay.
24:07I want to drive the Wienermobile into a tree.
24:15You know.
24:17Some hot links.
24:18Okay.
24:18What is this next one?
24:19I've thought a lot about them.
24:21You've got a lot of them, huh?
24:22Well, they come up at any time.
24:23Oh, yeah.
24:24You throw them in there.
24:24Yeah.
24:25Yeah.
24:25Maybe they'll come up with a new one tonight.
24:27Yeah.
24:28And I carry the bucket around.
24:29I walk around like this.
24:31Like an old man.
24:33Is that Bob Odenkirk, the movie star?
24:35It's a great bucket.
24:36It's high quality.
24:37I want to.
24:38Oh, this, of course.
24:39And I probably shouldn't be sharing this with you.
24:41My wife only should hear this.
24:45I would love one time before I die to make love without crying.
24:54Good goal.
24:57Just once.
25:01Actually, I don't care that much about this one.
25:03But sometimes you write them down and you're like, God, I want that.
25:06And then later you're like, what?
25:07What is it?
25:07Catch the man who killed my father.
25:13Yeah.
25:18Now this is a dream come true.
25:21Try ranch dressing.
25:24You've never tried ranch dressing?
25:26Never did it.
25:26Oh, my gosh.
25:27And I've always thought.
25:27I happen to keep some under my desk.
25:29You want a little?
25:34Make a little shout of it.
25:36You know, it's great.
25:37What?
25:39It's getting way down in there.
25:40It's not a condom, is it?
25:42I brought lettuce.
25:42Uh-huh.
25:42What?
25:43Oh.
25:45Oh, you brought lettuce.
25:48There you go.
25:49I thought it was going to be a chicken wing.
25:50OK.
25:51Tell me what you think.
25:52Oh, you're making a little, yeah, like a Thai delight out of it.
25:56No.
26:00No.
26:01Yes or no?
26:02My god, that's good.
26:06Is that it?
26:07Is there anything else in the bucket?
26:08Oh, there was one more thing in the bucket.
26:10Oh, the whole list we got here.
26:11OK.
26:13Oh, yeah.
26:15And I came so close on this one.
26:19I love to climb Machu Picchu without David Cross.
26:25Bob Odenkirk is here.
26:27His movie is called Normal.
26:36All right, there.
26:37We're back with Bob Odenkirk.
26:39His movie is called Normal.
26:42Now, this movie is really, really good.
26:46Oh, thank you.
26:47I really enjoyed it.
26:48Thank you for checking it out.
26:49You know, it's like three or four movies in one.
26:52Because our director, Ben Wheatley, this great British director,
26:56there's a mood of suspense.
26:58Well, you saw it.
26:59Yeah.
26:59And then there's action.
27:00There's a little bit of horror in it.
27:01Yeah.
27:02And then more action and then more of everything and comedy
27:05all through.
27:06There's some organized crime in there.
27:08Yeah.
27:08Yeah, there's some gangsters.
27:09How long did it take you to learn how to fight?
27:12It took really two and a half years, essentially,
27:16when I said I wanted to do an action movie
27:19and people didn't laugh in my face.
27:21Mm-hmm, yeah.
27:21Very kind of them.
27:23We started in on it.
27:24We found a writer.
27:25And I started training right away with stunt people,
27:28with one particular person named Daniel Bernhardt.
27:30This is a stunt actor who you guys have seen
27:33in every stunt movie you've ever watched.
27:36Because these guys are in everything.
27:37But he is especially great.
27:38And he's an actor as a lead sometimes, as well.
27:42So Daniel trained me two years plus to do Nobody.
27:45And then I've continued to do it.
27:47In fact, I go to the stunt gym around here
27:48still, like, twice a week and train for action.
27:52It really is amazing.
27:53Because the first action movie was a novelty.
27:55You were doing a cycle.
27:56Yeah.
27:56And then it was successful.
27:57So you did a sequel.
27:58So you did another one.
27:59I mean, it was successful because I trained enough.
28:02And now you're, like, you're an action hero.
28:05I mean, I think the third movie makes you an action hero.
28:08It makes you, yeah.
28:09It's pretty amazing.
28:10I would hope so.
28:10That would be great.
28:12That would be great.
28:13That would be great.
28:13Do you, um, do you have a clip?
28:16You have a clip?
28:18What?
28:19I said, do you have a clip from the movie?
28:21Yeah, do you have a clip from the movie?
28:25I don't know what, it's usually when the, you know, the,
28:29usually when the actors come on, we have a clip from the movie.
28:32Yeah, I know.
28:32I know.
28:33They do, Jimmy.
28:33And that's why you say it like you do.
28:35Like, hey, you got a clip?
28:37I just wanted to.
28:38You got a clip laying around?
28:40You act like it's no big deal.
28:42And it is a big deal, right?
28:45It's not just another clip, man.
28:47I didn't mean that.
28:48And it's not right.
28:48Have you forgotten what a clip is?
28:50Have we all forgotten what a clip is?
28:54People, a clip, a clip.
28:59It's a sparkling sliver of a movie.
29:03Okay.
29:04Man, that's a nice way of putting it.
29:05Let me tell you something.
29:06Let me tell you something.
29:07You brought a microphone?
29:08I did.
29:09I came in here last night and hit it right here.
29:12Okay.
29:13Maybe it's just me.
29:15But we go to theaters to love, to cry, to care.
29:20Because we need that.
29:22All of us.
29:23And I just thought of that.
29:25And a clip, Jimmy.
29:27Why a clip?
29:28Why a clip?
29:28It's a glimpse into the future.
29:32Yeah.
29:33Right?
29:34It's a hope for something great.
29:37It's a taste of tomorrow's dreams today.
29:41And by God, we are going to watch a clip of my new film, Normal.
29:46And we're going to watch it with respect and dignity.
29:49And I'm just going to say it, love.
29:52Who's with me?
29:57Let's get these people some popcorn and raisinets.
30:02Popcorn and raisinets for everybody.
30:05Dole it out.
30:06And a coat.
30:07A coat.
30:08One coat for everyone.
30:09Just wipe the straw with your sleeve.
30:12Now, can we get the lights lowered?
30:14Can we get the lights lowered?
30:16Or just change the color?
30:17Okay, fine.
30:18Now, I want your biggest screen, Jimmy.
30:20I want your biggest screen.
30:21Where is it?
30:22I guess right here.
30:23Oh, yeah.
30:24Yeah.
30:24How about a song?
30:29That's pretty.
30:31Can it be?
30:33Is it true?
30:35There's going to be a clip for me and for you.
30:39Rip it up!
30:41A film's coming out.
30:43The multiplex beckons.
30:45Can we sample that film for a few precious seconds?
30:48Not the whole thing.
30:49Just a sip.
30:51Let's have a clip!
30:56I'm a little higher.
30:57Say, walk a little higher.
31:00A little higher.
31:00A little higher.
31:11So should we show the clip?
31:13That'd be great.
31:13Hey!
31:19Hello, Sheriff.
31:21Eat, boy!
31:48You're a slippery little fishy, ain't ya?
31:52Now that's a clear...
31:55Paul Winifurge, everybody.
31:57Normal opens at theaters Friday.
31:59Special early screenings tomorrow night
32:01featuring a live stream Q&A with Bob and Henry Winkler.
32:05Thank you, Bob, for being here.
32:06We'll be right back with Paul Walter.
32:19Welcome back. Paul Walter Hauser is on the way.
32:21But first, if you are looking to grow your career,
32:24and I'll be disappointed if you aren't,
32:26there's no better place than LinkedIn,
32:27whether you're an executive, an assistant,
32:29or even an adorable late-night security guard.
32:32Being a big-time security guard is so lonely.
32:35I wish I knew how to grow my career
32:37and connect with other parking and security guards
32:40to build my network.
32:41I'm so stuck in my career.
32:46Sounds like you need a new game plan.
32:48Wow! Collegiate football superstar Fernando Mendoza!
32:51My secret identity is Fernando.
32:53My real name is Captain Super Connection, bro!
32:59That's great because I need to get super connected, bro.
33:02I got you, bro.
33:03One sec.
33:04Let's connect on LinkedIn.
33:06With LinkedIn, you can update your profile,
33:09get career advice,
33:10and make connections with others in your field.
33:12Wow!
33:13My profile is blowing up.
33:15You're the god, bro.
33:16Now you're LinkedIn-ing it to win it.
33:18Thanks, Fernando.
33:20I mean, Captain Super Connection, bro.
33:23You want to play catch?
33:24Of course.
33:25Sorry, bro.
33:26Too busy using LinkedIn.
33:32LinkedIn is the network that works for you.
33:42He is a Golden Globe and Emmy Award-winning actor by day
33:46and wrestler by night.
33:47He stars alongside Mark Wahlberg
33:49in the new action comedy, Balls Up.
33:51This one time that I was making love
33:54to a woman from...
33:56It doesn't matter where,
33:57but we were getting it on,
34:00and I...
34:01My testicles were becoming adjacent to things
34:05I didn't want them to become adjacent to.
34:07What is happening here?
34:08What are we...
34:09I don't know.
34:10I can't look away.
34:12Balls Up is on Prime Video now.
34:13Please welcome Paul Walter Hauser.
34:39It's good to see you.
34:41What a way to be greeted.
34:42Yeah.
34:43A giant round of applause from, like, 200 people.
34:45When I go home, I'm very disturbed
34:47because no one claps.
34:48Yeah.
34:49No.
34:49Obama said that.
34:51He's like, I'm the president to all of you,
34:52but I go home, I'm just dad.
34:53They don't care.
34:54They're on their devices.
34:55Yeah.
34:56You, uh...
34:57Did you know Mark Wahlberg before this movie?
34:59Yeah, we were friendly.
35:00Yeah.
35:00We both, um...
35:01We both love, uh, this industry,
35:04and we're both Jesus guys,
35:06and we just...
35:06We hit it off,
35:07and one day he just FaceTimes me
35:09while I'm at an airport,
35:10and I...
35:11You know, we talked,
35:12but, like, not that much.
35:14Getting a FaceTime from Mark Wahlberg
35:15is kind of crazy.
35:16So I'm like,
35:16Hey, man, what's up?
35:18Yeah.
35:18And he's like,
35:19Yeah, the studio pitched some people.
35:20They're good,
35:21but I feel like you and I would have chemistry.
35:22You want to read this script.
35:23I want to offer you this movie.
35:24And he's the reason I'm here.
35:26Him and Pete Farrelly.
35:27Did you hang out?
35:27Did you guys spend time together off camera?
35:30We did.
35:31We worked out here and there,
35:32or would, uh,
35:32or would have a bite to eat on set,
35:34uh, during lunch,
35:36and we just...
35:36Is it intimidating to work out with him?
35:39It seems like it would be.
35:40Yeah, obviously.
35:41Yeah.
35:41What time did you...
35:42Did you go in at his normal,
35:43like, 4 a.m. workout?
35:45Um, I...
35:45I have done that once or twice.
35:47I have done the 4 a.m. club thing,
35:49and, um...
35:50And it's fun,
35:50because you feel like you conquered the day
35:52really early.
35:52You kind of feel like,
35:53Wow, if I do nothing else today,
35:55it's 7 a.m.,
35:57and I'm showered,
35:57and I got a workout,
35:58and I got to stare at Mark Shirtless for a minute.
36:00Explain the, um...
36:01Great.
36:02Explain the premise of the film,
36:04because I think it helps to explain
36:05what happened in that clip.
36:06The movie is about
36:07two, uh, marketing executive guys.
36:10Uh, I'm kind of the, um...
36:12Mark is the pitchman, the salesman,
36:14and I'm the guy who thinks up the ideas,
36:15and we get this huge account
36:18for, like, Brazil for the World Cup,
36:20apparently,
36:20and this is a true story,
36:21that the statistic is true,
36:23not the story.
36:25There are more condoms sold
36:26during the World Cup than anything, period.
36:29Hot dogs, beverages, anything.
36:31It's a thing.
36:32People are doing some stuff.
36:34So, uh, we pitch this condom company,
36:38and it blows up,
36:39and it becomes the sponsor for the World Cup,
36:41and then we take Benjamin Brad out.
36:43He's the delegate from Brazil.
36:45And, uh, we party a little too hard,
36:47as boys are known to do sometimes,
36:50and things go haywire.
36:52Things go haywire.
36:53Yeah.
36:53But the World Cup,
36:54and craziness ensues over a night of drinking.
36:58Now, um, speaking of craziness ensuing,
37:01you are doing something this weekend
37:03that, um, is, I think, surprising,
37:07probably to all.
37:08I would imagine to your wife.
37:10I would imagine to your family.
37:11Maybe not.
37:12But I think we have a poster here that I would like.
37:14Now, this is not a fake.
37:16This is a real wrestling event.
37:18You're participating in in Las Vegas on Friday.
37:22I have three matches.
37:23I've been a lifelong fan of the WWE and AEW,
37:26and I wrestle in this company that's growing.
37:28It's called MLW.
37:29And so I schlep around, like,
37:32the way stand-up comics go to different clubs.
37:33I go to different wrestling companies and perform.
37:36And I think I've had about 29 or 30 matches.
37:38And this weekend, I'm wrestling three matches
37:41in two days in Las Vegas.
37:43Uh...
37:43What's your record right now?
37:45Record?
37:46Do you keep it?
37:48The record is a little bit loosey-goosey,
37:52because, you know, it's not full-on competition.
37:55But one thing I do keep a record of is the guys I wrestle.
38:00And I've gotten to wrestle Hall of Famers,
38:03future Hall of Famers, guys like Jeff Jarrett
38:05and Matt Cardona, who's in the WWE.
38:07But I've also, this weekend, I'm wrestling QT Marshall,
38:11one called Manders, and this big, scary ogre-looking guy
38:15named Big Damo.
38:17You do a Google search on him.
38:18I want to show this video here,
38:19because, uh, this is as real as it gets.
38:23And Paul Walter Hauser looking for the Irish whip.
38:27Ooh!
38:28No way!
38:29Uh-oh, uh-oh.
38:30No way!
38:32Oh!
38:33Oh!
38:34Paul Walter Hauser!
38:42Now, why would they leave glass in the middle of the ring?
38:44That's just bad sanitation.
38:46It's, uh, glass is like a banana peel.
38:49You know, you really don't want to leave it out.
38:50Someone's going to slip or fall.
38:51Is the blood real?
38:52Is that real?
38:53That blood is real.
38:54Yeah.
38:55That was, uh...
38:56And you never worry about the fact that you're an actor
38:58and you're getting your face smashed around
39:00on the weekends for fun?
39:01Jimmy, they don't hire me because I got a beautiful face.
39:04They hire me because I can inhabit the souls
39:07of our most broken, forgotten, and yet memorable people.
39:14I...
39:15No, I...
39:16Wrestling's this weird thing,
39:17and some people think it's idiotic.
39:19I totally understand.
39:20But for me or your prop master, Chris,
39:22who I talked to backstage...
39:24Yeah, yeah.
39:24He was wearing a shirt with Dan Housen and MJF,
39:27who are two buddies of mine in real life, these wrestler guys.
39:29And we get so into it, man.
39:32It's our...
39:32Who's your favorite wrestler of all time?
39:33It's our World Cup.
39:34Favorite of all time?
39:35Yeah.
39:36I got...
39:36There's a lot of good ones.
39:37My buddy DDP, Mick Foley.
39:40I love those guys.
39:40Oh, yeah, Mick Foley.
39:41My number one is Sting.
39:43Sting is your number one.
39:44Oh, my God.
39:45This guy is...
39:46He's incredible.
39:47You know, there's a musician also named Sting.
39:49Yeah.
39:49You might like also.
39:50You can find a picture of both Stings together on stage.
39:53They, like, did a photo thing.
39:55Is that right?
39:56Yeah, yeah.
39:56Double Sting.
39:57Yeah.
39:57Wow.
39:58That is so interesting.
39:59I do a lot of jobs, though.
40:01I act.
40:01I produce.
40:02No, I know that you're working as well.
40:04I'm not challenging that.
40:06But I'm...
40:07Is the goal like WrestleMania?
40:09Because WrestleMania is this weekend.
40:11Is that your ultimate goal?
40:12I mean, I...
40:13If WWE came calling, I would take that phone call
40:17or email for sure.
40:18You would, yeah.
40:18But at the end of the day, just like an actor,
40:21it's like, do you want to win an Oscar?
40:22It's like, it's all about the craft.
40:24It's all about doing good work, leaving a good impression on people,
40:27trying to love people in the moment when you're working with them.
40:30You're not allowed to love them while you're wrestling, though, are you?
40:32I mean, isn't that against the rules?
40:33Well...
40:34You can only love them so much.
40:35I only hit them so hard.
40:37That's a sign of love, too, you know?
40:40Oh, I got to see this sometime.
40:42I'm interested in this.
40:43Yeah.
40:44Yeah, I'll send you some.
40:44This is up my alley.
40:45I went to some wrestling matches as a boy.
40:47Oh, yeah?
40:48Oh, yeah.
40:48The real low-rent ones, too.
40:50Like the Silver Slipper in Las Vegas.
40:52Like Baron Von Raschke and Sergeant Slaughter we're talking about here.
40:56Yeah.
40:57Yeah, those guys, you can smell them just by looking at...
40:59What is your wrestling name?
41:02I go by my name, Paul Terhauser, but I just turned heel
41:05and I go by the mercenary Paul Hauser.
41:08The mercenary comma Paul Hauser? Is there a comma in there or no?
41:12I don't know.
41:13See, we've gotten hit in the head too many times.
41:16I'm not going to be able to tell you about the apostrophes and commas.
41:19Well, I'm happy for you.
41:21I think everyone's happy for you, because we can see how sincere you are.
41:23And super talented, too.
41:26Paul Walter Hauser, everybody.
41:27Balls up.
41:28He's on Prime Video now.
41:29We'll be back back.
41:34Thanks to Bob Odenkirk and Paul Walter Hauser.
41:37Apologies to Matt Damon.
41:38Join us tomorrow with Molly Shannon, Weird Al Yankovic, and music from Melanie Martinez.
41:42Nightline is next.
41:43Thanks for watching.
41:44Good night.
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