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00:01I've got to tell you my tale
00:07Of how I loved and how I felt
00:16I hope you understand
00:19Sorry, we're at clothes for a private function.
00:21Well, tell the mom's staff.
00:22Look, my boyfriend sucks and I need to drink to forget he exists.
00:25That way when I next see him, it will be a nice surprise.
00:28We went to see the hangover too and afterwards all I said was that men aren't as funny as they
00:31think they are and they kicked off.
00:33Why are men so wet?
00:35Why is it so fucking quiet in here?
00:37You're at a wake.
00:43Fuck.
00:44Wasn't anyone young or important, was it?
00:46Nah, just my dad.
00:49Oh my God.
00:50Oh, Eddie, I am so sorry for your loss.
00:53You know, your dad loved you so much.
00:55Thanks, Auntie Bebs.
00:56He was always so proud of you.
01:00Oh, would you like a...
01:01Double jacking coat, please, babes.
01:03I'll bring it over.
01:04Oh, thank you.
01:08I have crashed your funeral.
01:09I think it's called a wake if there's booze.
01:12You don't happen to have any kind of trap door.
01:14You could open beneath me or...
01:16This isn't going to work.
01:18A highlight reel of our friendship isn't going to make everything okay.
01:21I know, I know what's more complicated than...
01:22The fact that the way we met is funny and adorable doesn't mean that we're supposed to be in each
01:25other's lives forever.
01:26I know, Eddie.
01:30Why don't you just sit?
01:36One sec.
01:52It's just a glass.
01:53It's not safe.
01:58Oh, my God.
02:04Is that from when Ryan was in his...
02:05Woo!
02:11Starlet Express era.
02:12I'm going to stay with Jay.
02:13No, Eddie, Jay's...
02:15Jay moved to Arizona to prepare for the apocalypse.
02:21Can I please borrow your phone?
02:22I need to Google free accommodation London.
02:24Well, that is a one-way ticket to sex trafficking, so I'm going to say no.
02:30But you promised me one night...
02:46I'm going to stay with you, so I'm going to stay with you, so I'm going to stay with you.
03:05Of all the old man pubs and all of mid-recession Dalston, I walked into yours.
03:10You realise my dad's wake might not be the hilarious memory that you think it is?
03:14Oh!
03:16I wasn't the one laughing.
03:19Oh!
03:21So, what I'm going to do is quietly and respectfully tiptoe out of here and you never have to see
03:26me again.
03:27I don't think so.
03:28It would just look weird if you leave so quickly.
03:29Oh, come on, I...
03:30You need to work on your mourner persona.
03:32Are you a relative?
03:34Ooh, secret family.
03:36Uh...
03:36Maybe I could be, like, a young runaway your dad took in.
03:41God, sorry.
03:42It's really hard to work with the age difference.
03:44I haven't laughed in so long that my face actually hurts.
04:02I have always depended on the kindness of strangers.
04:07Theodora.
04:07And it's over.
04:08Theodora, my glass has been empty for an hour.
04:11I wish you'd go around to do top-ups.
04:13I'm actually at my father's wake in more of a personal capacity, as much as I valued him as an
04:18employer.
04:18But you're welcome to do it.
04:20Or, Jay?
04:21No, your brother needs to get back to work before the US markets open and I need to be available
04:26for people.
04:27Eddie, I...
04:29am the widow.
04:30You divorced him 15 years ago.
04:32Who's this?
04:35Uh...
04:35Maureen Johnson.
04:37Um, good friend of the deceased.
04:39Cam.
04:40Cam.
04:40Um, the deceased was his golf nickname.
04:43Cam didn't play golf.
04:45Funny.
04:46He never mentioned an ex-wife.
04:48Not once in all our golf times.
04:51Hmm.
04:54Brave to go after my mum.
04:56We've just met.
04:57Are you too close?
04:58Like sisters.
05:00Buffet emergency.
05:01Sorry, but we are headed straight for a sausage roll drought, Eddie.
05:05Now, I can go to the Big Sains.
05:07No, it wasn't sausage rolls.
05:08No?
05:09No, Dad hated sausage rolls.
05:11He said they looked like flaky dicks.
05:12It was...
05:12We are headed straight for a Scotch egg drought, Eddie.
05:15Now, I can go to the Big Sains.
05:17Will, this is Maureen.
05:19Maggie.
05:20Donovan.
05:21Enchante.
05:21This is Maggie.
05:22She's a funeral crusher.
05:24This is my best friend, Will.
05:26Ew.
05:26Your best friend is a man.
05:28Thank God, aren't you?
05:29Oh.
05:31You have to admit, though, it felt like we were destined to meet.
05:33Why?
05:34Because you made me laugh when I was sad.
05:36Whitney always said...
05:37Oh, come on.
05:37She always said, use fun as a tool to keep me captive.
05:40Well, that's insane.
05:40Her point was that you deflect with jokes to avoid the real shit.
05:44I don't avoid the real shit, Eddie.
05:45I can't.
05:47Just learnt that having a sense of humour about that kind of stuff is sort of crucial for survival.
05:53Sitting in the misery won't make the misery go away.
05:56I know I might not be your classic version of a support sister, but I do support you.
06:01Like, when you first took over Wet Mouth.
06:03Is that a new nickname?
06:05It's gross.
06:06It's what you should rename the pod.
06:08No one wants to get fucked up in the red lion.
06:12Lions are orange.
06:15I haven't decided yet.
06:16Like, I'd have to leave law school.
06:18Eddie, anyone can be a lawyer, but not everyone gets to run a cool bar.
06:20It's not cool.
06:21Yeah, but it could be.
06:22All you have to do is, like, get someone from Vice to DJ once a month and make sure the
06:26bathrooms are disgusting.
06:28What are you doing?
06:29Just come up here.
06:33You got any stiggies?
06:34Mm.
06:48Make a wish, bitch.
06:51It's like you're campaigning to be the mayor of my life.
06:55None of this is relevant.
06:56Stop doing that.
06:58It's fucking pointless.
07:00Being your friend is hard fucking work, Maggie.
07:02You're just ignoring all the time.
07:04You...
07:05Hey.
07:06You OK?
07:07You look hungover.
07:08I'm fine, but thank you for saying I look like shit.
07:11Where's the other night?
07:13Oh, sorry.
07:14Excuse me.
07:14I asked for two glasses.
07:15You ready to give me one?
07:18I had zero living family who could support me in any real way.
07:21I know.
07:21And then suddenly dropped on my lap.
07:23It was a massive responsibility.
07:25The bar.
07:25You.
07:25Robert Downey Jr. Unconfirmed, but I see it.
07:29Carrie Fisher.
07:31Legend.
07:32Vincent Van Gogh.
07:33No way.
07:34Do not cut off your ear.
07:35I will try.
07:36Mel Gibson.
07:37They can't all be good.
07:40Kurt Cobain.
07:41I know you've got to say having a disgusting toilet makes the fire cooler,
07:44but there's got to be limits to that, don't we think?
07:46Can you just leave out the ones who kill themselves?
07:48Yeah.
07:51Uh...
07:52Hmm...
07:53Right.
07:54Sinead O'Connor.
07:55What about her?
07:56I'm finding cool celebrities with bipolar disorder to cheer Maggie up.
08:00Hmm.
08:01Well, the first thing to do is find the best treatment,
08:03get you into a routine.
08:06I think moving in with me would do your world a good in that respect.
08:09No way.
08:10Just while you're...
08:11No.
08:11But darling, I don't want you to be alone while you're...
08:15What if something...
08:22I can stay with her for a bit.
08:25Oh, it's fine.
08:26No, no, no.
08:26It'll be a nice change from upstairs.
08:29I've got so many rats now.
08:30I might need to build some sort of home for them.
08:32Oh.
08:37That cool?
08:39Yeah.
08:41Grant.
08:43That's it.
08:47Do you have any jobs going?
08:49I can't do this anymore.
08:53Oh, my God.
08:55The six months that Annie worked here were the drunkest of my life.
08:59Yeah.
08:59I know.
09:00I live with you for most of them.
09:02Right.
09:05That must have been a lap for you.
09:06I get it.
09:08You don't get it, Maggie.
09:09How could you?
09:10I do.
09:10No, you don't.
09:12You have never had to be responsible for anyone else in your whole life.
09:16Where are you?
09:17Pissing!
09:38How's it looking in there?
09:40Something or someone has given birth in the sink, but other than that, about the same.
09:46Look, I know you think this friendship has been about you looking after me, and I get
09:49that, but I look after you, too.
09:53No, you don't.
09:54I do, Eddie.
09:54Just because my care looks different to yours.
09:56Name one time you've looked after me successfully.
09:58Other than today.
09:59Maggie.
10:00Fine.
10:05Exactly.
10:05Well, just give me a minute.
10:10Okay.
10:12How about that time you...
10:13They're honestly not that bad.
10:16Okay, go home.
10:17I'll hold on the part.
10:18That's not what happened.
10:19They're honestly not that bad.
10:23Okay, go home.
10:24I'll hold on the part.
10:25My point still stands.
10:26You're making it sound like a bigger deal than it was because you always change the narrative
10:30to suit you.
10:31No, I don't.
10:31You change so many details.
10:33Eddie.
10:36My memory is fucked from years of being on lithium.
10:41I'm sorry.
10:42It's not intentional.
10:43It's not malicious.
10:43I just...
10:45I can't remember every detail of every moment, and that makes me sad sometimes, but, yeah.
10:49Can't be helped.
10:51Like...
10:52It's not on purpose.
10:56I am sorry if it's too much.
10:59I'm sorry if I lent on you.
11:01I honestly didn't know I was doing it.
11:02I just didn't have the tools.
11:05I didn't have any tools.
11:08It's like I was trying to fix an engine with my bare hands and no YouTube.
11:13I'm sorry, you had to be like the...
11:15The farmer hoggett to my babe.
11:34That's my second Regina of the night.
11:37They party shacks.
11:48Sometimes I think it was more like the babe leading the babe.
11:53I can't go short.
11:55Very good.
12:04How's this?
12:06Very good.
12:06Nah.
12:10Namaste.
12:10Oh, God.
12:10So good.
12:10I love your husband.
12:11Do you want toif and guy?
12:12Are you able to...
12:13We want this be true.
12:13Good.
12:16You want to be true.
12:17I loved you.
12:26Okay, maybe my shitty memory only remembers the good things, but the night you will miss when we...
12:37This is definitely the best shag I've ever had, including women, which is very unusual.
12:44Congratulations, Irwin.
12:45It's all about the knuckles.
12:46The knuckles!
12:49Not goals.
12:50It would be classic Anya to like that, though.
12:53You made a cute speech.
12:54Did I? I don't remember.
12:56Oh, come on.
12:57No, I don't.
12:59I told you, I'm basically Dory from Finding Nemo if she also had a mood disorder.
13:04You said something like...
13:05Hear ye, hear ye.
13:08I have known Miss Theodora Rashton for six years now, and in that time she has made my life infinitely
13:15better.
13:16Oh, this is a serious one.
13:17On top of that, she has single-handedly turned Wet Mouth into the three-time motherfucking...
13:24How do I eat all by far after you?
13:30I am all by far after you!
13:32Eddie, I have seen you deal with every setback, every angry drunk man, every pile of puke in the bathroom
13:39like it's nothing but I know...
13:41We know, it's not nothing, it's amazing.
13:47Eddie, you are the coolest, strongest, smartest person I know, and I really fucking love you.
13:55No, I can't.
13:56No, you have to feel feelings.
13:58No, I don't.
13:58Tickle her until she feels feelings.
14:00You must feel feelings.
14:02Oh, heyya!
14:04That was gorgeous, babe.
14:06Oh, nice!
14:08Sorry, I don't want to be rude, but who are you?
14:11I'm Ryan.
14:13I have a set at the table next to you at the awards and brought you guys to see more
14:16fun.
14:19Ryan in the house!
14:22Ryan in the house!
14:25Ryan in the house!
14:27I can't believe that's how we met him and now that bitch is literally the executor of my will.
14:33I know.
14:34Could have been a kid or a furry for all we knew.
14:39That's not a great example, by the way.
14:41What?
14:42Of you being an amazing friend, it doesn't really support your argument.
14:45My argument?
14:45Yeah, because that night ended when you...
14:47Is he on any medication?
14:48Do we know?
14:50Hello?
14:51Medication?
14:52Yeah.
14:53We're not on drugs!
14:56It was on new meds.
14:58I wasn't supposed to drink on them, but...
15:00But you did.
15:01And I don't get to be angry about that, because it's like, oh, Maggie has bipolar.
15:05She can't help it.
15:06It's not her fault.
15:06So then I have to bury my feelings.
15:08I never asked you to bury...
15:09That night was supposed to be about Dad, so he could see that everything was okay.
15:16I didn't know that.
15:17Because it's stupid.
15:20Can't see anything.
15:22He's dead.
15:26Your feelings aren't stupid, Eddie.
15:29It matters to me if I've hurt you.
15:32There's always a reason you can't show up for me, Maggie.
15:36If you're referring to what happened last year...
15:56I had lithium poisoning.
15:59I had too much lithium in my blood because my doctor prescribed the wrong amount.
16:04And that's the truth.
16:07I was trying really hard to get better when that happened.
16:10I still am.
16:13It's a lot of work.
16:13It's every day, but I am so much better now.
16:18You don't seem better.
16:20Sorry, Eddie, but you don't know that.
16:22You haven't been here.
16:23And when you've been here, you've been...
16:24Brainwashed by a con artist?
16:29Yeah.
16:32You must feel...
16:35I can't think of a better word than insane.
16:41You know what that's like.
16:44And your reality turns out not to be real.
16:48It happened to me.
16:50It follows me every day.
16:52I try and forget it, and...
16:54I can't.
17:00Call an ambulance, for God's sake!
17:03Didn't you know she was out there?
17:05God, I...
17:05Come on, darling.
17:06Did you...
17:07You'll be all right.
17:09You'll be all right now.
17:10Gillian wasn't there.
17:13Yes, she was. I called her.
17:14No, you didn't.
17:17Okay.
17:18Okay.
17:19Let's go, yeah.
17:21Here we go.
17:23Okay.
17:24Take it easy.
17:26Okay.
17:28Here you go.
17:30Okay.
17:35Hi, Gillian. It's Will.
17:38Can you meet me at the Homerton Hospital?
17:41He's never said anything.
17:52How do you know that?
17:55How do you know what happened?
17:58He called me from the hospital while I was at the airport.
18:02Oh.
18:05So you knew before you even left?
18:08You knew I'd been poisoned and you didn't even drop me a DM.
18:11It's...
18:11Is that how much you hate me?
18:14I missed your abortion because I was poisoned.
18:17But you abandoned me because you wanted to go on holiday.
18:20That's not it.
18:21Yeah, it kind of seems like it is.
18:22I had to go, Maggie.
18:23I had to.
18:24Why?
18:25So you could go and smoke weed with Mind Control Faraday?
18:28No, because I was fucked.
18:30I was so fucked and I just lost everything.
18:32And I didn't know how to cope with that.
18:34And I couldn't stay here and sit in the mess of it because I'm fucking weak.
18:40I'm so weak that instead of dealing with my shit, I found someone who told me they could make it
18:45better and I let them tell me what to think.
18:46I mean, what the fuck?
18:50I know I'm not soft.
18:52And I know I don't seem like someone to be gentle with.
18:55But I am.
18:58My sad looks very different to your sad but it's still very real and it still fucking hurts.
19:09I'm a mess.
19:11And a fraud.
19:12And a loser.
19:15You don't want me, Maggie.
19:16I can't help you.
19:28So, thank you so much for having me.
19:30Oh, you're more than welcome.
19:32Theodora, can you fetch the microphone?
19:35I think now's the time for my amazing grace.
19:38Oh, damn. I'm sad to miss that.
19:42You know, I thought this was going to be the worst day of my life.
19:48And it wasn't.
19:50And I think that might be because of you, you know, distracting me with how insanely inappropriate you are.
20:02Any time.
20:04All I wish is gone away.
20:10All I wish is gone away.
20:14I'm so sorry.
20:19I'm so sorry, Maggie.
20:46I'm sorry about the babe.
20:48I'm sorry about the babe.
20:51Two pigs are better than one, honey, baby.
21:02Get behind the bar.
21:06I'm not really in the mood to make cocktails.
21:08No, come on. Just dress me. Come on.
21:12Okay.
21:35Hi. Could I get a drink?
21:38I'm on the run from a screening of The Hangover 2,
21:40which I inexplicably attended with the ex who told me to go on the Dukan diet.
21:45Hey! This doesn't happen to be your dad's wake, does it?
21:54It is, yeah, but please don't let that stop you hanging out here for hours.
22:03So what? We're just gonna start again.
22:06No, I mean, we can't.
22:10It's done is done, like, I'm a nightmare.
22:15You're a nightmare. There's no cure for that.
22:20But...
22:23We can decide that we love each other.
22:27That we need each other.
22:30Move on.
22:32Together.
22:36Can I move in with you?
22:39Of course.
22:41And everything will be alright.
22:47You're all I have now, Maggie.
22:51I haven't been best in the house for years.
22:54I'll see you next time.
22:55You can see you next time.
22:55I'll see you next time.
23:02Go on for that, and you'll be ready.
23:06Go on!
23:08I'll see you next time.
23:08Go on for me.
23:17Go on for me.
23:20If I had words to make a day for you
23:34I'd sing you a morning
23:39I got you.
23:40I got you.
23:48Make this day last for all time
23:58Give you a night deep in moonshine
24:13If I had words to make a day for you
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