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00:00A civil war among primates is capturing global attention right now.
00:05It's taking place in Uganda, and it's happening among the world's largest known community of wild chimpanzees.
00:11The world's largest group of wild chimpanzees has split and have been locked in a vicious civil war.
00:19Hello, I'm Ken Burns.
00:21Over my long and celebrated professional life, I've presented award-winning documentaries on a myriad of subjects,
00:28from the Revolutionary War to the Civil War, to the war between jazz and baseball, I think.
00:36It's been a while.
00:37Although I've produced over 40 documentaries, all of those pale in the light of my latest work.
00:43Tonight I present The Chimp Civil War.
00:55The Ngogo chimpanzees have divided themselves into two main factions.
01:02A violent civil war, brother against brother, I think.
01:07With all that hair, it's hard to get a good look.
01:09And this is the story of the courageous apes who went to war.
01:17My dearest Martha, Bobo wants banana.
01:22Banana good.
01:24Wear banana.
01:25Now banana.
01:27Give Bobo banana now.
01:30Banana banana.
01:32Damn this war.
01:33All my love, Bobo.
01:36P.S.
01:37Banana.
01:41It's The Late Show with Stephen Colbert.
01:46Tonight, Gaslighting.
01:50Plus, Stephen Welcomes.
01:53Anne Hathaway.
01:54And Josh Johnson.
01:57With a special appearance by Rachel Dresch.
02:02Featuring Lewis Kata and the Great Big Joy Machine.
02:06And now, live on tape from the Ed Sullivan Theater in New York City, it's Stephen Colbert.
02:31Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.
02:33Very kind.
02:33And welcome, one and all, in here, out there, all around the world, to The Late Show.
02:37I'm your host, Stephen Colbert.
02:38Folks.
02:42It, of course, tonight is April 15th.
02:46Happy Tax Day to all who celebrate.
02:50This is a very, it's actually a very important day for Trump's big, beautiful bill that passed
02:56last year, because even though, in the bill, they decimated Medicaid and slashed government
03:02programs left and right, they kept saying it's all going to be worth it on April 15th
03:06of this year when people saw their giant tax refunds.
03:09As well, we finally know how much the average American is going to get.
03:12It's $748, which I've got to say, it's pretty good.
03:16Unfortunately, thanks to Trump's war with Iran this year, gasoline is expected to cost the average
03:22household $740 more.
03:27Let's see, hold on, let's see, $740.
03:30Got it, let's see, what, 700, what is that, $748?
03:35$740, what's that?
03:37I thought that is...
03:53That's $8.
03:53That's $8.
03:54That's $8.
03:56So, congratulations, everybody.
03:58$8 doesn't sound like much, but may I remind you, that'll get you eight lotto tickets,
04:03which also happens to be Trump's health care plan.
04:07Now this would also be a really great time for Americans to get a big check back, because
04:12Trump's war has driven consumer sentiment to its lowest level in 70 years, since 1956,
04:19when everyone was wearing those buttons that said, I sprained my knee doing the twist,
04:23and now I know like Ike.
04:28I'm just, no, no, I'm just, obviously I'm just, I'm just joshing.
04:33It turns out, 1956 is as far back as the numbers go, meaning consumer confidence is at the lowest
04:39level ever recorded.
04:41That may sound bad, but that's only because it's never been worse.
04:47Ooh, there's, uh, there's more tough news to chew on.
04:51Beef is getting harder for Americans to afford, which explains Pizza Hut's new leftover Easter
04:57candy-lovers pizza.
05:00No one out-peeps-es the hut.
05:06Prices, prices are rising just as summer barbecue season is heating up, to which your vegan cousin
05:12said, well, well, well.
05:15I guess these tofu ribs don't look so bad after all.
05:18What's that?
05:19They still look bad, and also weird, because they are shape-like ribs, even though they're
05:23made out of coagulated soy.
05:24Oh.
05:26Fine.
05:26Be that way.
05:27Nut-based cheese, anyone?
05:31Cashew cheddar?
05:38It doesn't melt.
05:43Beef isn't the only American tradition affected by inflation these days, because it was just
05:46announced that 7-Eleven will close 645 U.S. stores this year.
05:527-Eleven.
05:54Never forget.
06:06The company explained that personal consumption had softened, particularly among low-income households,
06:12as inflation continued to weigh on spending.
06:15Yes, that's how bad things are in America.
06:17Folks can't afford to eat at 7-Eleven.
06:19What's next?
06:20Are Americans going to be forced to limit themselves to a sensible gulp?
06:26Damn it, this is America.
06:28I do not believe I should have to drink from any cup I couldn't possibly also drown in.
06:34I shouldn't need a snorkel.
06:37Just for safety reasons.
06:40Also season one.
06:42Also season one joke.
06:44As I said, this inflation is being caused by the war, but it's really not that bad,
06:49according to Trump's director of the National Economic Council and jolly skin tag Kevin Hassett.
06:58Hassett went on CNBC yesterday to explain what might bring prices down.
07:05Imagine if oil prices start going back down because the situation resolves itself somehow,
07:11then you could be looking at inflation close to zero.
07:14Yes.
07:17Yes, the situation might resolve itself somehow.
07:20Until then, all America has to do is use their imagination.
07:26Imagine.
07:27Imagine.
07:27No, imagine.
07:28My friends, imagine a car made of licorice somehow, and it somehow runs on dreams, and
07:34somehow your best friend is a musical dog, and Kevin Hassett isn't an idiot somehow.
07:41Imagine.
07:50Pass it.
07:52Hassett is not the only one having trouble putting a positive spin on America's energy future
07:56under Trump.
07:56Here's his energy secretary, Chris Wright.
07:59Just because it looks like we're going the wrong direction does not mean that's the direction
08:04we're going.
08:09Yeah.
08:12Very good.
08:13Yes, well said.
08:14Well said.
08:15And is this true?
08:16I'm told we actually have video of where America's headed.
08:20This is not the direction I'm going!
08:27It's not actually headed that way, though.
08:29It's not.
08:34It's not just the war and the economy.
08:36Trump is still in holy hot water with his supporters.
08:39After he posted this AI image of himself as Jesus, then when people got mad, he deleted
08:46it and lied to reporters.
08:48It's supposed to be me as a doctor.
08:50Yes.
08:51No, it's true.
08:52Listen up, folks.
08:53Listen up.
08:54Yes, I'm a doctor here, okay?
08:57That's a doctor.
08:58That's clearly me in the hospital.
09:00By the way, that robe there, it's open in the back, okay?
09:04This guy right here, this guy behind me, this guy is getting an eye full of my loaves
09:12and fishes, if you know what I mean.
09:17The problem, the problem with lying to conservative Christian MAGA about this photo is that they
09:24know what American Jesus looks like, and it's this.
09:30They're not buying his bull.
09:31According to one GOP fundraiser, Trump got significant pushback from evangelicals and Catholics
09:37both sides of the Christian aisle, and he cannot lose the Christian aisle.
09:42That's the part of the grocery store where they sell MAGA's most popular cereal,
09:46Christ's Krispies.
09:48Snap, Crackle, and Pope.
09:52One reporter.
09:57Nice.
10:00One reporter reached out to some Trump voters in Florida to get their reaction.
10:05Personally, it's disgusting.
10:07I talked with my wife about it earlier.
10:08I mean, I, Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior, and that right there is, I mean, that's, I,
10:13I, I don't really have words for that.
10:15That's disgusting.
10:16As a Christian, how do you feel when you see this image?
10:19I'm offended.
10:21Yeah, I'm ashamed.
10:23I'm ashamed that, that's, that he would actually do that.
10:26The man I voted for and trust.
10:29Clearly, Trump is in danger of losing his key demo, goateed meat daddies, willing, willing
10:39to talk to strangers at a gas station.
10:43And they're not alone.
10:45No, they're not alone.
10:46According to one conservative radio host, a lot of the base is becoming exasperated enough
10:51to start looking beyond Trump.
10:54Wait.
10:55Wait.
10:56What?
10:58What?
10:59I don't even understand that.
11:00Did he say, did he say a day beyond Trump?
11:06I can see it.
11:09Oh, everything's so fresh and beautiful.
11:11I can breathe again.
11:14There, beyond Trump, a new day dawns.
11:16And look, here comes the sun.
11:19I'm J.D. Vance.
11:20Oh, God, no.
11:20No, no.
11:21No, no.
11:22No, no.
11:23No.
11:27No.
11:33So today, to win back the Christian voters he offended by depicting himself as AI Jesus,
11:38Trump put up a new post depicting himself canoodling with AI Jesus.
11:43Wait.
11:44What?
11:44Wait.
11:44Hold on.
11:45What's going on there?
11:46Hold on.
11:46Zoom out.
11:48They're...
11:51They're Swayze-ing!
11:57Beautiful, really.
11:58If you think about it, it's beautiful.
12:01Of course...
12:05When...
12:05It's a Holy Ghost.
12:06That's Holy Ghost is what that is.
12:08Of course, when the president is facing a scandal like this AI Jesus thing, as vice president,
12:13it's J.D. Vance's job to get out there to receive a swift kick in the nuts.
12:17Yesterday, at a Turning Point USA conference down in Georgia, Vance had some sharp words for
12:22Pope Leo over the Pope's criticism of Trump's Iran war.
12:26In the same way that it's important for the vice president of the United States to
12:29be careful when I talk about matters of public policy, I think it's very, very important
12:34for the Pope to be careful when he talks about matters of theology.
12:38Wow!
12:41Hey!
12:42Hey!
12:42Hey!
12:43J.D., I know you're a Catholic, but you joined in 2019, okay?
12:48I've been genuflecting since the mid-1960s.
12:51And let me tell you, brother, okay, I think you're out...
13:05I think you're out...
13:06No, I got something to say!
13:09I think you're out over your Catholic skis here, okay?
13:11I think it's time for you to sit down, then stand back up, then kneel, then stand again.
13:18Then shake hands with people around you, then kneel a little more, then go take
13:23Communion, and then go back to your pew for some more kneeling, because you're not
13:27sneaking out of here after Communion, because you know who left the Last
13:31Supper early?
13:31Judas!
13:34We've got a great show for you tonight.
13:37My guests are Anne Hathaway and Communion Josh Johnson.
13:41And when we come back, it's ladies' night, y'all!
14:05Welcome back, everybody.
14:06Give it up for Lewis Cato and the great big drawing machine.
14:14Women.
14:15They're everywhere.
14:17And there have been so many great women through the ages who deserve recognition, like Rosa
14:22Parks, Marie Curie, and the Mama Charmin bear.
14:28She's got three furry kids and a husband who are always bragging about how clean their holes
14:32are.
14:34The woman is a damn saint.
14:36And we here at The Late Show care so deeply about solving women's problems.
14:40Unfortunately, I am not a woman.
14:42If only there were a woman nearby.
14:52Did someone say nearby woman?
14:55Rachel Trach?
14:57Yes!
14:58Hi!
14:58Oh, hi, Steven!
15:01Rachel.
15:03Rachel, thank you for joining me.
15:05Well, as we say in the female community, glad to be here.
15:09Well, I'm glad you're glad because it's time for our first ever...
15:14The Late Show's Women's Hotline.
15:22Yeah, hi.
15:23Can I get some garlic knots?
15:27Welcome.
15:28The Late Show Women's Hotline is already packed with calls, so let's get to it.
15:32But first, a big thanks to our sponsor, Cinnamon Toast Crunch.
15:37Cinnamon Toast Crunch, your child seems calm.
15:40We can help.
15:46Our first caller is Kendra from Boston.
15:48Hey, I suspect I'm being paid 30% less of my coworkers, even though I'm equally qualified.
15:54How do I approach my boss about this?
15:55Oh, that's easy, Kendra.
15:57Talk to your manager and outline your contributions and why you deserve a raise.
16:01Yes, and if that doesn't work, get your manager's computer and download Shrek Erotica onto it before...
16:10Before calling HR.
16:12You can find that Shrek Erotica at hotshrek.com, donkeyzaddy.net,
16:20or lordasqua.edu.
16:27It's accredited.
16:30Next up, we have Dani from Queens.
16:33Hi, Late Show Women's Hotline.
16:34As a woman living in New York City, I'm wondering, where can I get a haircut that costs less than
16:39$200?
16:40Ugh.
16:41I got you, Dani.
16:43You're going to want to see my guy, Big Tony.
16:47He lives under the D train and cuts hair with hedge clippers.
16:51Satisfaction guaranteed or a bag of your hair back.
16:56Our next caller is Layla in Virginia.
16:58Hi, my daughter wants to study biology.
17:02Can you suggest any female role models in STEM?
17:05Hmm, absolutely.
17:07The one and only Eliza Von Bischmark.
17:10The inventor of the second boob.
17:14Before that, women only had one boob on the left, and we were always falling over, or we'd swim in
17:21circles like a wounded shark.
17:24Thanks for your call, Layla.
17:26And now, another quick word from our sponsor, Yamaha. Yamaha. Motorbikes or pianos? Guys, you gotta pick a lane.
17:37That's true. That's true. That's true. That's true.
17:42Next up is Caitlin from Milwaukee.
17:46Hi, I'm pregnant, and my health insurance is really difficult to navigate. What do I do?
17:52Hmm, you're in luck, Caitlin, because Big Tony is also an OBGYN. Fully licensed by eBay.
18:00Satisfaction guaranteed or your placenta back.
18:03To reach Big Tony, just fill out a new patient form at lordasquad.edu. They do it all.
18:10Yes, uh, okay, well now we go to Beth from Alaska.
18:14Hi, I'm in my early 40s. Like many women my age, I often wonder, if two mermaids have sex, do
18:22they produce a full human or a full fish?
18:26Wow, uh, excellent question. You know, you actually just get a reverse mermaid.
18:30Fish on top, lady downtown.
18:34Fun fact, reverse mermaid, also a sex move you can learn on lordasquad.edu.
18:43We have time for one more.
18:45Well, we have time for one more, and now for our final caller.
18:49Uh, hi, my name's Dave. I was trying to call Wendy's to order a Baconator and ended up here. But,
18:56uh, I have always wondered, what is Victoria's Secret?
19:03Excellent question. Victoria's Secret is that she seems to have it together, but she's exhausted all the time.
19:10She's got work and taxes, and her parents are expecting her to organize this year's family vacation because her younger
19:16sister never answers her texts.
19:18Not to mention, Victoria recently had an endometriosis flare-up, forcing her to once again interact with a healthcare system
19:25that has historically misunderstood how women's bodies work.
19:28But, she can't get too frustrated, or she'll be labeled difficult.
19:32Not to mention, she's trying to date, but the apps are the worst, and she feels like no one's really
19:37explained how you're supposed to be fun, flirty, and open to love while still reckoning with the very real safety
19:42issues involved in meeting a stranger in a brewery that has axe-throwing.
19:51Yeah. And even when things are great, she's playing Mario Kart with her friends lurking in the corner of her
19:56mind is the crippling fear that her country is being led by despots who are systematically targeting women's autonomy.
20:07Also, she wants to start watching Chicago Fire, but it's on Peacock and no one knows what that is.
20:14And that's all we have time for.
20:18Mmm, a big shout-out to the sponsor of the Late Show Women's Hotline, Rezzy.
20:23Rezzy, there are no tables available at any restaurant, and there never will be.
20:28Catch Rachel Dratch as the narrator in the Rocky Horror Show, now on Broadway.
20:34Thank you, Rachel. We'll be right back with Anne Hathaway.
20:53Welcome back, everybody, ladies and gentlemen.
20:59My first guest tonight is an Academy and Emmy award-winning actress you know from The Princess Diaries, The Devil
21:07Wears Prada, and Les Miserables.
21:09She now stars in the new film Mother Mary. Please welcome back to The Late Show, Anne Hathaway!
21:15Here youczyk the Munks.
21:53I'm going to remember that for a long time.
21:56Isn't that lovely?
21:58Best damn audience.
22:00So nice to see you again.
22:02It's so great to see you.
22:03It's an exciting time to be Anne Hathaway.
22:05A lot of people are saying that this is your year.
22:08Okay, here is Entertainment Tonight,
22:112026, officially the year of Anne Hathaway.
22:13Oh my gosh!
22:14Anne Hathaway's biggest year ever begins this week.
22:18You've got five movies coming out.
22:20How does it feel to be Anne Hathaway right now?
22:22I'm sitting across from Stephen Colbert,
22:24so it feels pretty great to be Anne Hathaway right now.
22:28Look at the company I'm keeping.
22:31It's really exciting.
22:33I love the movies.
22:34Yeah.
22:34And I love going to the movies,
22:36and so I love being able to turn to people and say,
22:39I made things I'm really proud of,
22:40and I think it's worth your time for you to buy a ticket.
22:43And that just feels amazing.
22:45And five is a lot in a single year.
22:47Five big ones in a single year.
22:48It's so much.
22:49I want to get to mother.
22:49Hold on, please.
22:50I was going to say it was like a little over three,
22:53three and a half years of work, and it's all coming out in the
22:55six-month corridor.
22:57And so, and the thing that's fun about it happening now is I'm 43,
23:00and when I was 23, I would have been like, oh, God, the anxiety
23:04and the stress and all of this, and now I'm like, oh, my God.
23:07This is life.
23:08Let's do this.
23:10This is so much fun.
23:12So I'm just here to have fun.
23:15Yes.
23:15I'm loving the music.
23:16I'm loving the vibes, and it's just a great time.
23:21I want to get to Mother Mary, but first I got to talk to you about
23:24the Devil Wears product 2.
23:25Yes.
23:26Okay, we had your pal Meryl Streep on here recently.
23:32Yes, she stole my sweater.
23:34Yes, she stole your sweater.
23:36That's where it went.
23:37Here you guys are back in the day.
23:39That's 20 years ago for the first Devil Wears Prada.
23:42And here you are again right now.
23:46Yes, sir.
23:48Time has been very good to both of you.
23:51What's it like to be back with the whole gang?
23:54Oh, my gosh, it's so much fun.
23:55Yeah.
23:56It's so great.
23:57Emily Blunt and also, and Stanley Cucci.
23:59Yeah.
23:59Because it felt so special when we were making it, but, and I kind
24:03of anticipated people were going to love the movie, but what it's been
24:07and what it's become and this 20-year relationship that I get to have
24:13with the movie from the making of it, but now I get to have with,
24:15like, the world.
24:17Yes, and the audience has a relationship to these characters.
24:20They love them all.
24:21Yeah, and that's why we're here, and that's why we came back all
24:23these years later was because the audience wanted it.
24:26It wasn't us being like, hey, guys, check us out.
24:28We're back.
24:29Remember?
24:30Like, no, it wasn't that.
24:31It was, there's this love and this yearning to see what these
24:34characters have been up to, and so I just, I don't know.
24:37I just felt like I got to be in this, like, super group 20 years ago
24:41when we got back together to make another album, and I love the album.
24:44And you guys, you've all, all four of you, all four of you had a
24:51very big 20 years since the last time we were all together.
24:54It went okay.
24:54Everybody came back together.
24:55Who's the diva, and why is it Stanley Tucci?
24:57It's Stanley Tucci.
25:00Oh, he's just, he's so fussy about his clothes.
25:03Has he cooked for you?
25:04That bitch has not made me a morsel.
25:09I have dropped so many hints that I would love to know.
25:13I was like, oh, so you went to Italy and you learned this dish.
25:15What's it like?
25:16And he'll tell me, but I have not yet received a crumb.
25:19What am I doing wrong?
25:20You know what I could go for?
25:20Some caucho pepe, Stanley.
25:22Yeah.
25:23Okay, ever since you starred in The Devil Wears Prada,
25:26you've been associated with fashion.
25:27I'm so lucky because between Devil Wears Prada 1, 2, and now Mother Mary,
25:32I've really gotten to explore the role of fashion in our lives, fashion as an art form.
25:37You were friends with the great designers, Valentino and Giorgio Armani.
25:40I did.
25:41I did.
25:41What did you learn from these fellas about your own personal style and how to make those choices?
25:49Well, Mr. Armani was so generous with me and so consistent in his presence in my life.
25:56And I just, from him, I'd say I learned that elegance can be really, really daring.
26:04And he was so meticulous about details.
26:06When I would go to his shows, I would just marvel.
26:08Every single detail was so perfect.
26:10And I would say, oh, my gosh, who did this lighting?
26:12And his beautiful niece, Roberta, would say, my uncle.
26:15And I was like, whoa.
26:16And she's like, no, no, no.
26:17Yes, in his 80s, he was up there adjusting lights.
26:20So he cared so much.
26:22So I think that sort of that passion, which is what all the great designers that I met had.
26:27And then from Valentino, oh, my gosh, Valentino was more than just a friend.
26:31He was my family.
26:32And he made my wedding dress for me.
26:34I didn't ask.
26:35He offered.
26:36And we spent so much time together.
26:38I went on vacations with him.
26:39We had, like, so many dinners, so many laughs.
26:43He was my karaoke partner.
26:46I had a karaoke birthday party at Sing Sing on the Lower East Side, and Valentino came to my birthday
26:52party.
26:55But from him, what I learned was just that the joy that comes from being devoted to beauty, not just
27:05observing beauty, but creating it and treasuring it and valuing it.
27:10And knowing that if you want to see beauty in the world, it's not a passive thing.
27:15You actually have to engage with it.
27:17And an act of beauty is an act of hope.
27:19And I just felt that he lived his life with such joy and such good humor.
27:26And he had the most unbelievably vibrant spirit.
27:30And I got to be his dear, dear friend for 20 years.
27:33And he changed my life.
27:34That's lovely.
27:36We have to take a quick break.
27:38We'll be right back with more Anne Hathaway, everybody.
27:40Stick around.
27:46Stay hydrated.
27:47Hold on.
27:48Hey, everybody.
27:49We're back with the star of Mother Mary, Anne Hathaway.
27:52You play a pop star opposite Michaela Cole, who plays your best friend and a wardrobe, a costume designer.
28:00Yeah, she's a fashion designer, and she's my best friend and former image architect.
28:04Okay.
28:05So tell us a little bit more about what it's about.
28:08Well, it's so my character, who has been kind of one of the dominant pop presence for the last 20
28:16years in the world.
28:17So she's like a Lady Gaga kind of thing.
28:19We were inspired by so many people.
28:21We wanted Mother Mary to be her own thing.
28:24But we listened to Beyoncé, Gaga, Rosalia.
28:28We listened to Taylor Swift, of course, Lorde.
28:31You know, all of these amazing...
28:32But also James Blake and Nine Inch Nails.
28:36And, like, so there were all these different elements that went into her.
28:39And, yeah, so she had an accident a few years ago and has gone back to her former best friend
28:46to basically ask her to make her a dress.
28:48But it's more than a dress.
28:49She's asking for an identity.
28:52She's asking for healing.
28:53She's asking for absolution for the wrong that she's done.
28:56And Michaela Cole has one of the greatest acting turns I have seen in a very long time torturing me
29:02about whether or not she's going to make me this dress.
29:06We have a clip here.
29:07What do I need to know about this clip?
29:09This is the beginning of the movie.
29:10This is Mother Mary at the height of her power singing an original song by Charlie XCX and Jack Antonoff
29:16called Burial.
29:17Yvonne.
29:19So sweetly kindly.
29:24I'm mesmerizing.
29:29It's terrifying.
29:55What are your favorite moments where you've he tried?
30:00What are you doing?
30:00When you remember, don't have a
30:02This is your burial.
30:11I see a lot of influences in there.
30:13The Beyonce, Nimbus, like the crown.
30:17Yes.
30:18That's there.
30:19Wait, are you a secret pop fan?
30:22I just saw Gaga's last Monster Ball show on Monday.
30:26I'm still vibrating.
30:27That's amazing.
30:30I understand you mentioned Taylor Swift, but how did she influence this?
30:35Oh, well, I mean, she was just kind of like an angel that, like, I felt like was over our
30:42heads all the time.
30:43David Lowery is a huge Swifty.
30:45Yeah.
30:45And he was really influenced by the reputation tour for all of the concert scenes.
30:50And then I was really influenced by her tour film, Miss Americana, and how vulnerable she just let herself be
30:57in that.
30:57And so kind of showing that pop stars who were so used to seeing, like, so in their power and
31:04so polished.
31:05You know, what happens when they're kind of in between moments, when they're having a moment of metamorphosis, which can
31:10be so painful.
31:11And what happens when you're a really public person and you're still trying to figure things out in the spotlight.
31:17And I just, you know, I was already a fan, but after that, I just had so much empathy for
31:20her and her humanity and, of course, her talent.
31:23Do you guys hang at all?
31:24We do know each other, yeah.
31:26I know.
31:26Yeah, we do.
31:27I actually, so we filmed this movie in Germany and over the course of a few years.
31:33And when we finished the concert portion of the film, which was the second year, we were in Bonn, Germany,
31:39and Taylor was finishing up eras in Gelsenkirchen, which I know we've all been to.
31:44And he did three nights in Gelsenkirchen, and I got tickets.
31:48And it was, and so, like, me and my family, we went, and it was amazing.
31:52She came out on stage, and it was just, like, the whole place exploded.
31:56And she just, like, makes the audience feel so loved, and she made me feel so loved.
32:00And I'm like, oh, my God, Annie, you're so cute.
32:01You think Taylor Swift's waving at you right now.
32:04I'm like, you're so adorable.
32:05And so, and then somebody tapped me on the shoulder, and they said, Taylor wants you to have this.
32:10And I went, what is happening?
32:12And I opened it, and it was a note where Taylor said, I'm so happy you're here.
32:15I'm going to be enthusiastically waving at you.
32:17And I was like, oh, my God, she's so magical.
32:21She did. She did the thing. And I was right. I am special.
32:24Right. You can safely assume that everyone is waving at you.
32:29Thank you so much for being here.
32:31Thank you for having me.
32:32Mother Mary opens in theaters this Friday.
32:35Anne Hathaway, everybody.
32:36We'll be right back with comedian Josh Johnson.
32:51Hey, everybody. Welcome back.
32:53Ladies and gentlemen, my next guest tonight is a comedian you know from his stand-up specials
33:00and as one of the hosts of The Daily Show.
33:02Please welcome back to The Late Show, Josh Johnson.
33:07Josh Johnson.
33:08That's the show.
33:24And I'll see you next time.
33:25What a Behaviour.
33:29Take care.
33:34And thank you so much for reading all the time.
33:45Hello, how you doing? Nice to see you again. It's good to see you again. Now, first time I saw
33:50you perform was right over here in 2022. Yes. You've had, listen. Thanks for that, by the way. What? You
33:55let me, so thank you. No, thank you, because you were funny. Oh, thanks. Okay. Back here in 2022 in
34:01stand-up. Since then, you put out your second comedy special, went on a multi-city tour, releases
34:06hours of stand-up on your wildly popular YouTube page, which I catch over there. You went from being a
34:11writer to a correspondent on The Daily Show and became one of the hosts of the show just last year.
34:17I'm just curious.
34:22There's a lot of talk that 2026 is the year of Anne Hathaway. I'm hearing it might be the year
34:26of Josh Johnson at this point.
34:32How are you, how are you, how are you, how are you feeling about it?
34:35I feel good. I'm very thankful. Like, all these opportunities have been, been coming in and everything that we look
34:43forward to for the, for the rest of the year. You know, like my, my tour, comedy band camp starts
34:48in June and everything.
34:49Comedy band camp? Yeah. And I, I, yeah, when it comes to hosting, it's like, it's so fun and everyone
34:57is so supportive, but it is intimidating.
34:59Cause it feels like, you know, you look at something like Daily Show and it feels like you are borrowing
35:05your friend's car to drive.
35:08Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you just want to give the keys back and be able to like smile at them.
35:13Like the car is just like you left it.
35:15It's actually, I mean, there's no like blood on the front grill or anything. I didn't hit anything. I didn't
35:21ruin it. I didn't total it. You know?
35:23Well, when you're not hosting the Daily Show, you're touring. How much time do you spend out on the road
35:28and does that not exhaust you?
35:29No, I just, I exhaust it. It's, it's cool to be able to do shows and, and meet everybody and
35:34everything.
35:34How old are you? I'm, I'm 36.
35:36Okay. Yeah. Well, so you've got energy.
35:37Yeah. Yeah.
35:39You've still got knees and everything. That's good.
35:42Yes. Yes. I still have knees, but they pop now. Yeah. Yeah. But no, it's not necessarily that it's exhausting.
35:50It's just when you're out, when you're out from your home enough, you do have mishaps. You do have things
35:55that happen that are travel problems.
35:57Yes. Like, okay. So I, everyone had their experience with TSA whenever TSA was like bogged down and everything. And
36:05I was traveling and, you know, my bag got flagged and anytime your bag gets flagged, you're, you're kind of
36:12in this place of like, what could it be? Like, I, you know what I mean? I clearly.
36:15I know me. I'm not dangerous, but is there something in there?
36:18I know I don't have a gun. I know I don't have a gun. I don't have anything. Why are
36:22you stopping me?
36:22And then when I, I see it on the screen, cause some of them you can see and the person,
36:30the agent was like, do you have brass knuckles in your, in your bag? And I was like, no, I
36:36don't have brass knuckles in my bag. Why would I have brass knuckles?
36:38So now I'm thinking like something happened. Like, you know how they say, don't leave your bag. They're like, never
36:43leave your bag at the airport. You don't know what people do. Some people have brass knuckles and they just
36:47put them in people's bags and stuff like that.
36:49So like, so now I'm like, did I leave my bag for a second? Cause I, I put my head
36:53down to drink some water before I went to security. Was that when they did it? And then, and then
36:59they, they opened my bag and it wasn't brass knuckles.
37:04Just like I thought it wasn't brass knuckles. It was, uh, it was toe spreaders.
37:13Pardon my ignorance. No, okay. A toe spreader? Yeah. So Steven, look, I, I've had feet issues. I have very
37:23narrow feet. And, and, and, and at the end of the day, I'm just trying to make sure that all
37:27of my toes remember that they're toes plural, you know?
37:31And so, so yeah, so then I will wear the yoga toes at night sometimes. Yoga toes?
37:36Yeah. They're like, yo, they're like foot spread. They're, they keep your toes apart. And so.
37:42Like you might use if you're getting a pedicure. Yeah. Yeah. And, and so that, they opened my bag and
37:49they pulled those out and he was like, what are these?
37:54Cause he was like you, he didn't know. And so I was like, oh, you know, those are like, you
37:58know, when you do martial arts, sometimes you like to practice.
38:00So those are like practice knuckles. You know what I mean? It's like.
38:03Are they, are they soft? Oh, very soft. I brought them. I brought them for you to see.
38:09So this is what they found.
38:13This, this is a Merrill-Aid if I've ever seen one. Yeah.
38:17Oh, wait a second. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you can slip them in.
38:20And then your thumb goes in there or something like that? Yeah, yeah.
38:23Yeah, you can put, yeah. Yeah. Put them together.
38:25Yeah. Yeah.
38:27Look at that. Yeah. And these normally go on your feet?
38:31They, they do. And they're on my hands now.
38:34Oh.
38:36Thank you. Yeah.
38:37Thank you for that. I, I would have brought hand sanitizer had I been thinking a head.
38:42I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I,
38:53You got a, you got a new stand-up special coming out on the, ah, on the HBO, right?
38:57Yes. Yes.
38:58Okay.
38:58So, uh.
39:00Okay. Uh, I understand the, tonight, The Late Show has an exclusive.
39:03Yes. Okay.
39:03Where you're gonna announce right here, right now, when the special will be released.
39:07Joe, could we have a drum roll please?
39:17Do I talk during the drum roll, or do I wait until the drum roll ends?
39:21Keep going.
39:21Keep going.
39:22I think, and do not stop, I think that you would say, well, the name of the special is
39:28and it will be released on band.
39:31Oh, okay.
39:32This is the first drum roll I've ever had in my life.
39:35First drum roll, Joe.
39:36Yeah.
39:37First drum roll.
39:38Okay.
39:38Thank you so much.
39:39Enjoy it.
39:40He said enjoy it.
39:41Yeah.
39:42Do not rush your first drum roll.
39:43Okay, I'm so sorry.
39:44Who knows how long it is going to be before you get another one?
39:46Yeah.
39:47Hey, everybody.
39:48My name is Josh Johnson, and my special symphony comes out on HBO Friday, May 22nd at 8 p.m.
39:54Eastern Standard Time.
39:58Nice to meet you.
39:59Nice to meet you.
40:00Thank you so much.
40:01The Daily Show airs weeknights on Comedy Central, and his HBO special, Symphony, premieres May 22nd.
40:09Josh Johnson, everybody.
40:16That's it for The Late Show, everybody.
40:18Tune in tomorrow with my guests to be Anderson Cooper and Patton Oswalt.
40:21Good night.
40:22That's it for The Late Show años.
40:26Come on!
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