- 1 day ago
First broadcast 15th June 2023.
A young couple travel to a sleepy Scottish town to start work on a genteel nature documentary.
Samuel Blenkin - Davis McCardle
Myha'la - Pia (as Myha'la Herrold)
Daniel Portman - Stuart King
John Hannah - Richard King
Monica Dolan - Janet McCardle
Gregor Firth - Kenneth
Ellie White - Kate Cezar
Tom Crowhurst - Iain Adair
Scott Mooney - Simon Challis
Beth Robb Adams - Dawn Challis
Alisa Gashi - Reconstruction Dawn
Kirsty Wark - Award Presenter
Weruche Opia - Actress
Laura Cairns - Doctor
Marcella Whittingdale - Reporter
Clive Myrie - Himself
Richard Ayoade - Voice
Ryan James Mack - BAFTA After Party Guest
A young couple travel to a sleepy Scottish town to start work on a genteel nature documentary.
Samuel Blenkin - Davis McCardle
Myha'la - Pia (as Myha'la Herrold)
Daniel Portman - Stuart King
John Hannah - Richard King
Monica Dolan - Janet McCardle
Gregor Firth - Kenneth
Ellie White - Kate Cezar
Tom Crowhurst - Iain Adair
Scott Mooney - Simon Challis
Beth Robb Adams - Dawn Challis
Alisa Gashi - Reconstruction Dawn
Kirsty Wark - Award Presenter
Weruche Opia - Actress
Laura Cairns - Doctor
Marcella Whittingdale - Reporter
Clive Myrie - Himself
Richard Ayoade - Voice
Ryan James Mack - BAFTA After Party Guest
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:51Hey, Mum.
00:52I was worried. It's almost six.
00:53I took a detour after last to show Pia the pretty way.
00:57I slept through it.
00:58Hi.
01:00Pia, Mum, Mum, Pia.
01:01Nice to meet you.
01:02You too.
01:03Janet.
01:05Pretty wee thing you've captured.
01:07Mum.
01:07Hey, I'm flattered.
01:09I like your accent.
01:11Ditto.
01:12What was that, love?
01:14Ditto.
01:15Uh, ditto.
01:17Oh!
01:19So, did you grow up in America, or are you originally from...
01:22Jesus, Mum.
01:24U.S.
01:25Born and bred.
01:26Okay.
01:28I hope you're both hungry.
01:30Yeah.
01:38Who's the pianist?
01:40That was...
01:41Is that him?
01:43Aye, Kenneth.
01:44Kenny.
01:45Mum called him.
01:46Is it creepy if I say he looks good in that cap?
01:49Bit, yeah.
02:01Tomorrow, we'll show Pia in the village, and then we'll probably set off Monday morning.
02:06You're only staying two nights.
02:08Well, we've got to head on to Rum to shoot my film.
02:12Our...
02:13Our film.
02:15About the rare egg guy.
02:16So that's what your documentary's about?
02:19This egg collector from Rum?
02:21He's not a collector.
02:22He...
02:23He guards rare eggs against collectors who want to steal them.
02:27It's a...
02:27It's a...
02:28It's a big trade.
02:29The way I see it, this is going to be a story about one of the last remaining holdouts
02:36against the commodification of nature.
02:40Not about a man who watches eggs.
02:42Well, yeah, but...
02:44He's like a vigilante.
02:47A guardian angel.
02:50Egg theft is illegal, but the local cops aren't...
02:54interested, or they're too lazy.
02:57I mean...
02:58Maybe if someone who looked like me were stealing the eggs...
03:01They're probably just overstretched.
03:03Policing's a very demanding job.
03:06As your dad knew.
03:09Hmm.
03:10Yeah.
03:11I mean...
03:12Yeah.
03:18I saw that photo of him.
03:20In uniform.
03:22And 20 minutes later, I'm shit-mouthing the cops like...
03:29She hates me.
03:30No.
03:31No, she doesn't.
03:32She likes you.
03:33She said that.
03:34It's just...
03:35Anything with Dad.
03:38She's sensitive.
03:39She...
03:40Misses him.
03:42Well, of course.
03:43I mean, you must too.
03:47In theory.
03:49Sort of do.
03:52I was eight when he died, so most of my life he's just been a few photographs.
03:55Yeah.
03:57He was ill quite a while before he died.
04:00I needed a lot of caring, you know.
04:03I think that really took it out of mum.
04:08The whole place was a lot quieter from then on.
04:20Seriously, are you hard right now?
04:26I am.
04:28That is...
04:31totally inappropriate.
04:33I'm so, so sorry.
04:40Does that thing work?
04:42Uh, last time I checked.
04:50No tape!
04:52Boo!
04:52What, are you gonna film with her?
04:54Here.
04:55Watch.
04:56Out.
05:01In.
05:12All I want to do is to compare myself...
05:20I think through here.
05:23how do they do?
05:35You okay? Good to go?
05:38What's Bergerac?
05:40Bergerac. Old detective show.
05:42Your folks were seriously into it.
05:45That's a whole lot of Bergerac.
05:48Mum had a crush on John Nettles.
05:51The guy you play Bergerac.
05:52She used to say he had a nice bum.
05:54I do not want to think about your mom getting wet
05:56over some dude's butt.
05:58Well, he did have a nice one.
06:03You heading out?
06:05Just, uh, taking Peter the lock.
06:06Might get windy.
06:07I can fill you a thermos with some tea.
06:09It's-it's no bother, Mel.
06:10Well, have a nice time.
06:21It's okay.
06:22We should leave now.
06:26It's like something from a painting.
06:29That's because people paint landscapes.
06:36I mean, this place is amazing.
06:38I can't believe it's so empty.
06:42We're the only ones here.
06:43It's weird.
07:09I've been buried.
07:10David's Mercado.
07:14I told you never to show your face in here again.
07:17You can walk right back out that door.
07:20Now!
07:21Hello, Stuart.
07:25How you doing, you fucking wanky?
07:28Eh, what the fuck is with that hair, eh?
07:31You gonna tell me your pronouns?
07:33I just let it grow a bit, you know.
07:35I thought you were in London studying woke film theory
07:38or whatever you call it, eh?
07:40Someday this guy will be polishing BAFTAs
07:42and forgetting about us poor wee shites he used to cut about with.
07:45Years ago, Stuart made a model for a short video I did.
07:48A spaceship?
07:49Yeah, it was sort of a solar...
07:50Like a working engine?
07:51Yeah, you get the picture.
07:51Said if he ended up making the next Star Wars,
07:54I'd help out with the special effects,
07:55but he's, eh...
07:57He's turned his back on us old gadgets
07:59now he's doing the big town, eh?
08:01See, he's not even introducing you to me now.
08:03Oh, sorry.
08:04This is Pia.
08:05She was on my film course as well.
08:07Oh!
08:07Oh, your course, was it?
08:09No.
08:09Oh, he thinks they're going to name it after him someday.
08:11Oh, I thought they were going to name it after me, so...
08:14Yes, well, that would be the smart move, eh?
08:16What with fucking diversity and all that.
08:18Uh, three pints.
08:19On the hoose, no charge.
08:23Crisps all around.
08:24It's a shame he's dragged you out of London
08:25up to this ghost town, eh?
08:27Oh, the holiday atmosphere of a hospice.
08:30You're still in business?
08:32Skin of the teeth, man.
08:33Look around.
08:33Friend, we are on our arse.
08:36I keep telling Dad if things don't pick up,
08:38we'll just have to bite the bullet
08:40and jack it fucking in.
08:44Speaking of the cunt.
08:47What are you doing?
08:48I should say hello.
08:49No, no.
08:50Don't bother.
08:51That'll be his fifth refill today.
08:53The only reason he comes downstairs these days.
08:55Christ.
09:01Oh, there he goes.
09:03Up to his pit.
09:05Is he...
09:06Is he depressed, or...?
09:07Of course he's depressed.
09:08There used to be three pubs around here,
09:10and now we're the last man standing.
09:12It's a...
09:13a proper dead zone.
09:15I don't get it.
09:16It's so beautiful around here.
09:18I...
09:18How are you not overrun with tourists?
09:21Because of Ian Adair.
09:22Who is Ian Adair?
09:27You didn't tell her about Ian Adair?
09:28Come on.
09:30It's...
09:30It's...
09:30Who is Ian Adair?
09:34Okay, okay.
09:36Fine.
09:38So...
09:39Ian Adair was the guy
09:40he lived up at Five Acres Farm
09:42on the hill there
09:42with his mum and dad.
09:44People said he was quiet.
09:46Easily led.
09:47Not too bright, all of that, you know.
09:49But really, he was just some local guy.
09:52Anyway...
09:52Turned out he tortured and killed people.
09:55It's building up to that.
09:56I haven't got your storytelling instincts.
09:58You tell it.
09:59No, you spoke of it now.
10:00No, not the end bit with your dad.
10:01What end bit with your dad?
10:03Can I just start from the beginning?
10:05Just you pretend you don't know
10:06the murder stuff yet.
10:07Sure.
10:08Okay.
10:10So...
10:11picture it.
10:15There used to be loads of holidaymakers here.
10:21Loads of them.
10:23Then in 1997,
10:24this couple in their 20s
10:26hired a cottage for their honeymoon.
10:28Back when we still had tourists.
10:35They were here for about a week.
10:38Loads of people saw them.
10:40Dad said they drank in here a couple of nights.
10:48Come the end of the week,
10:49they're supposed to have left.
10:51The cleaner comes to get their cottage
10:52ready for the next booking.
10:54The car's parked outside.
10:57And all this stuff's still there.
11:02No sign of them gone.
11:06Creepy.
11:07Very creepy.
11:08So, of course, Dad gets called in.
11:09His dad was a local policeman.
11:11Yeah, she knows that.
11:11Oh, okay, sure.
11:13So, Dad's asking around, right?
11:14Knocking on doors,
11:15but this couple is nowhere to be found.
11:17Vanished off the face of the earth
11:18and all that.
11:21After a day or two,
11:22it becomes a big story.
11:23Ooh.
11:25Tabloids pick it up.
11:25Places swarming with journalists.
11:27It's a frenzy.
11:30But then weeks go by,
11:33and there's no sign of them, nothing.
11:37And then Princess Diana died.
11:39No.
11:40Paper's moved on to that story.
11:42Fizzles out.
11:43Finished.
11:47Until one day.
11:48One night.
11:49Mm.
11:51Ian Adair's drinking
11:53in here.
11:54In here?
11:55I drank in here all the time.
11:56Always sat right there.
11:58Anyway, this night,
12:00he's had way more than usual.
12:02People say he's talking weird.
12:06He's making a nuisance of himself.
12:09There's a poster of the missing couple on the wall.
12:11He even makes comments about the girl.
12:13And your dad?
12:14Yeah, they'll piss he'd.
12:15He tells Ian he's barred.
12:17Ian tells him to fuck off.
12:19Says he's got half a mind to come back
12:21and shoot the place up.
12:22Nice.
12:27Dad's worried now,
12:28because, you know,
12:28Ian's a farmer.
12:29He's got a shotgun.
12:31So, Dad asks Kenneth,
12:33his dad,
12:34to go and check in on Ian.
12:36He'll have a word with him.
12:37So then, Dad...
12:37That's his dad, Kenneth.
12:38Yeah, of course, it's my dad.
12:39Sure.
12:40Dad drives up to Five Acres.
12:50Knocks on the door.
12:52Says,
12:53I just want to talk to you.
12:54Is that true?
12:55Ian doesn't answer.
12:59Dad's walking back to his car
13:00when Ian opens the upstairs window
13:03and shoots him.
13:08Sorry, he shot your dad?
13:10Yeah.
13:11Not fatally, in the shoulder.
13:13Bad, though.
13:13Holy shit.
13:15So, Dad, crawling back to his car,
13:18calls for backup when from inside the house.
13:24And nothing.
13:27Back of our eyes.
13:28They go in.
13:31Ian had there shot his mum and dad,
13:33then himself.
13:35Total wipeout.
13:39Pharmacide.
13:42While they're looking around the farm,
13:44they check out the cell.
13:47Oh, God.
13:52Behind the wardrobe is a hidden door.
13:54Into a bunker.
13:55Old World War II or 60s or something.
13:57Here we go.
14:11And inside, it's like a torture room.
14:15This guy had been abducting people,
14:19keeping them down there
14:20and doing God knows what to them
14:21for weeks at a time.
14:22And then burying the bodies
14:23out in the fields there.
14:26The honeymoon couple?
14:28Fuck me and the rest of them.
14:30The rest?
14:32Around here,
14:33the countryside can be pretty dangerous.
14:37There's deep water and all that, you know?
14:39Sometimes people went missing.
14:42Walker takes a wrong turn, you know?
14:44Someone rents a kayak and doesn't come back.
14:48Over the years,
14:49nobody was really talking it all up.
14:52How many were you talking about?
14:53Eight.
14:54Oh.
14:55All being tortured.
14:56And the rest of it?
14:57Dark sex things,
14:58really extreme stuff.
15:00Yeah, okay, okay.
15:00It gives you nightmares.
15:02It gives you nightmares.
15:03So,
15:05yeah, that was Ena there.
15:07That is a lot.
15:10Mm-hmm.
15:10And as you can imagine,
15:11it doesn't look great on TripAdvisor.
15:13End result.
15:16Fuck all visitors.
15:18He didn't just shit in his victims' mouths.
15:20I don't know he did that.
15:21He shat in the tourist trade, too.
15:25But your dad,
15:26he recovered.
15:28I mean...
15:29His injuries weren't that bad.
15:30He was in hospital for a couple of weeks.
15:31Right.
15:32But while he was in there,
15:33he got MRSA.
15:35And that killed him over time.
15:39So,
15:39as far as mum's concerned,
15:41Ena there killed dad, too.
15:42Yeah.
15:44She's not wrong.
15:45Aye.
15:47Another pint.
15:47Aye.
15:51Magda!
15:52Three pints.
15:58Can we go see where it happened?
16:15It's perfect.
16:20You don't see it?
16:23See what?
16:24Can we get in there?
16:25No.
16:26It's boarded up.
16:27There's planks.
16:28Why would you want to get in there?
16:30Because...
16:30this is what our film should be about.
16:33All of this.
16:35What?
16:36This?
16:39Quaint little village,
16:40but for years,
16:41this Hannibal Lecter dude
16:42has been operating a death den
16:44at the heart of it?
16:46I mean, it's a story.
16:47It's an actual story.
16:48Are you serious?
16:50Well, yeah.
16:51But...
16:52We're meeting the egg guy on Wednesday.
16:53Oh, fuck the egg guy.
16:54I'm sorry.
16:55Come on.
16:56Come on!
16:59You said you liked the egg idea.
17:01Oh, babe.
17:03I kind of liked it.
17:05Just like I kind of like plain pasta in a pinch.
17:08But I love this.
17:10I love it.
17:13So, um...
17:15A true crime film about Ian Adair?
17:17We can pitch to production companies
17:19who will fund it.
17:21I had a meeting with Kate Cesar at Historic.
17:23I think she might go for this.
17:24People already know the story.
17:25I didn't?
17:25I mean, it's not whodunit.
17:26There's no mystery.
17:27Are you nuts?
17:29The mystery is,
17:30how could someone do that shit?
17:32It's what the fuck.
17:34It's giving me the details.
17:35And the details are so awful,
17:37it is irresistible.
17:38Sounds tacky.
17:39No, no, no, no, no, no.
17:40We won't let it be.
17:41It'll be a solid piece.
17:43Well made, high end.
17:45And it's exploring the biggest topic.
17:47Life and death.
17:50It's just not the kind of thing I want us to make.
17:52Okay?
17:55Well then, what do you want to make?
17:58A meditation on the Eggman of rum
18:00that will maybe play at a festival
18:02and maybe be admired
18:04by a couple dozen documentary nerds
18:06or something that people will watch?
18:08Something they actually want to see?
18:14If you don't want to make it, I will.
18:25Ian had her shot, my dad.
18:28He died, Pia.
18:29He fucking died.
18:31That's real.
18:31That's not fucking content.
18:32Of course it's not.
18:33That's not what I meant.
18:34He dredged up so much shit for Mum.
18:35She lost her husband.
18:36Okay, okay.
18:37And we can make that point.
18:39Her point.
18:41He was a victim, too.
18:44You said that he's been forgotten
18:46in all of this.
18:53It was so good.
18:55Did you not like the dolphin was?
18:58Uh, I just try to limit my carbs.
19:02But what I had was delicious.
19:05Oh.
19:06Good.
19:17We would do it justice.
19:21It would feel and look professional.
19:26Babe.
19:28It's a brilliant idea.
19:31Visual showcase.
19:33Bring the tourists back.
19:36What was the name of that Netflix thing?
19:39About the guy that killed women?
19:40Maybe narrow that down.
19:42One of them, he ate her own eye in front of her.
19:45The-the Waltonville cloth.
19:47So, half this show
19:49was just amazing,
19:51constant footage
19:51of Waltonville.
19:53Forests and-and mountains.
19:55Fucking waterfalls.
19:57Looked like a brochure.
19:59My-my cousin
19:59actually booked a holiday
20:01just off how it looked.
20:02Hmm.
20:03He said the place was fucking heaving
20:05when he got there.
20:07Cunts get a load of this place
20:08on our 4K fucking flat screens
20:10and they will be crawling all over us
20:12like flies on dog shit.
20:14But with money.
20:17I've even got a drone you can use.
20:20Opening shot.
20:21Moody piano chord.
20:22I love it.
20:23Of course you've got a drone.
20:24Of course you're a cunt about it.
20:26Ah!
20:28I've got something even better.
20:30Wait there.
20:33Hang on.
20:41Okay.
20:42Yeah!
20:44This
20:46is my mum's curiosity box.
20:48She was fucking obsessed
20:50with the whole thing.
20:51Obsessed!
20:52My dad fucking hated it.
20:55This is a whole archive?
20:57I'd call it
20:58a morbidly obsessive collection.
21:00Man, he looks creepy.
21:02I suppose it's not every day
21:03one of your regulars
21:04turns out to be
21:04Vlad the fucking Impaler, is it?
21:06She was bound to want a souvenir.
21:08Will she mind if we borrow it?
21:10Or she won't give a fuck.
21:11She's been dead for 4 years.
21:14We can hook this up.
21:16Mum's
21:17Stone Age VCR.
21:19Yeah.
21:20Yeah.
21:21Ooh.
21:22It's got a tape in it.
21:31Mmm.
21:32Of course.
21:35Hey, that's your mum's boyfriend.
21:37Show us his butt.
21:39I think that's enough of that.
21:41Pass us one of his cheese tapes.
21:45Shall we dive in?
21:46It's four days
21:47since Dawn and Simon Chalice
21:49were last seen alive.
21:50in the tourist hotspot
21:51of Loch Henry.
21:53The holiday cottage
21:54they'd rented
21:55left eerily abandoned.
21:57Yet despite
21:58extensive searches
21:59of the local area
22:01there's still
22:02no sign
22:03of the missing couple.
22:04Locals are mystified.
22:06It all seems
22:07quite odd.
22:07And that's Stuart's dad.
22:08Everybody's worried.
22:11I mean, Dawn,
22:11the missing girl's
22:12very attractive, so...
22:13Objectified much?
22:15Everybody's just
22:16hoping they'll be okay.
22:20You should have asked.
22:22About what?
22:26All that
22:29stuffy...
22:29stuffy your mum's
22:30he gave to Janet's boy
22:32for his film
22:32or whatever, whatever it is.
22:34Keep the blouse on,
22:35you'll get it back.
22:35Shouldn't he be making movies
22:37about it?
22:37Fuck me, movies.
22:39Christ.
22:51Whoa.
22:53Sorry, sorry.
22:54A bit close, babe.
22:55No, it's okay, it's okay.
22:56Davis!
22:58Yeah!
23:00I was out of love
23:02and out of my heart
23:03I couldn't quite stop
23:04something that I didn't start
23:07Yeah, yeah
23:07The critic said no
23:09I didn't know how it came
23:11so I couldn't go
23:12Oh
23:22I was third on the bill
23:24of a separate show
23:26The audience asked me
23:27what, but I didn't know
23:29How my predicament grew
23:31But now I got friends
23:33and I think
23:33that my friend's with you
23:35Yeah
23:45Did you get the name of the father?
24:01Well, I like you
24:15Oh, no, no, no
24:18Oh, yeah
24:19This progression is usually sad
24:22But it felt my sorrow
24:23And I wanted it to feel me glad
24:27Love it
24:28Love it
24:28Love to see it
24:30Yeah
24:31Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah
24:38-ah-ah
24:44Shot at the cops
24:46Shot his parents
24:47Shot himself
24:48But of course I was just scratching the surface
24:51What they found
24:54Underneath
24:55His father
24:56Was even worse
24:57Fucking horrible
24:59Horrible.
25:01Okay.
25:02Uh, can we just go back to the part where you...
25:06The fuck was that?
25:09Probably broken. Stop touching it.
25:11Annulance is on the way. You'll be all right, Mr. Cain.
25:13Fuck off, Millian! You fuck off, you parasite!
25:16You fucking insect!
25:18Why, Digger, it's done.
25:21Worst thing that fucking happened,
25:23and you're here fucking pulling it all up,
25:26and for what, eh?
25:27For what? You want a fucking award?
25:30A pat on the back?
25:34Ignore that me's office heat.
25:36I'll wait outside to the ambulance.
25:38Yeah, off you go. I can't handle this prick, eh?
25:43What's your fucking problem?
25:47Ian Adair was an arsehole. Can I say that?
25:51A term like sadist is probably better.
25:54Aye.
25:55Well, he was a sadist, that's for sure.
25:57You're okay?
25:58An Olympic-level fucking counterparty...
26:01Bye!
26:09Just thinking, if you're staying on for a few days,
26:13I could do my shepherd's pie,
26:15but, Pia, I'm not sure if you eat meat.
26:18I do meat.
26:23Anything else, Mum?
26:25No, no.
26:26I can see you're very busy.
26:28That's Stuart.
26:30Richard's boy.
26:32Aye?
26:34What is it you're working on?
26:41We're doing a documentary about what happened.
26:48Ian Adair and all that.
26:50Not about your man and the eggs?
26:54Uh, no.
26:55No.
26:59You'll explain what he did to your father.
27:05Only if you want us to...
27:07Oh, I want you to.
27:08People should know.
27:10Everyone should know.
27:12My Kenny died because of that man.
27:16If Ian Adair was still alive,
27:18I'd wring his neck myself with these hands.
27:20I would.
27:22We were happy before he broke it all.
27:26Ruined it all.
27:27Such a stupid man.
27:29Just the waste of it.
27:34I'm sorry.
27:38It's okay, Mum.
27:46If there's anything you want me to help with,
27:50just ask.
27:52Yeah?
27:53Clap.
27:54There we go.
27:57Do I need to do that, too?
27:59Oh, no.
28:00No, no.
28:00You're okay.
28:02I'll ask questions and you just answer as yourself,
28:05as you.
28:07As me?
28:08Uh, just talk loosely about the case.
28:13Loosely?
28:14Like relaxed?
28:15No.
28:17Been years since I was in front of any kind of camera at all.
28:20Last time would have been that old one your dad had.
28:24But your dad never had all this stuff.
28:26He wasn't filming for broadcast, Mum.
28:30Can you imagine?
28:33So, what do you think?
28:35Well, it's a fascinating case.
28:38Ian Adair, I mean, I'd heard of him.
28:41But he's not as well-known as, uh, Ted Bundy or Fred West.
28:47So, if we take this anywhere,
28:49the first question any platform, network, whatever,
28:52is gonna ask is, what's the hook?
28:56And what's the context?
28:58There is a personal angle.
28:59I mean, his dad was one of the victims.
29:03Uh, yeah.
29:05He w-he was a policeman.
29:06He was shot at the farm.
29:08So, he was murdered?
29:10He died later.
29:11Of his injuries, or...?
29:14Not directly, but-but-but-but basically, yeah.
29:17But he was one of the victims.
29:19This gives him a voice.
29:22And-and, you know, that's-that's important to me.
29:24You know, as a-as a son.
29:27I think definitely explore the personal angle.
29:30See what there is in it.
29:32But, um, can you get hold of any new material?
29:36Police interviews, diaries, that kind of thing?
29:39Yeah, we can look into those.
29:40Something unseen, unheard, unexplored is what you need.
29:42What about the house itself?
29:44And the dungeon? It's still there.
29:46And you have access to that?
29:47Yes.
29:50Absolutely.
29:52So how come you're using this old thing?
29:54I had the police forensics shot on tape back then.
29:57Plus, old tech. Cool. Analog horror atmosphere.
30:01Proper Blair Witch.
30:08She did that a bit more quietly.
30:10I'll put the crowbar on whisper mod.
30:18Oh my god.
30:20Okay.
30:27Scooby-dooby-doo.
30:29Where are you?
30:31Shh. This is not recording.
30:33Uh...
30:35Uh, uh, yeah.
30:37Tab's punched out.
30:38It stops people recording over it.
30:40Hold on.
30:41More taping over Bergerac?
30:43Mum won't notice.
30:45I hope not.
30:46Oh!
30:47Jesus Christ!
30:50Oh!
30:53I found the door to fucking hell.
31:06Oh!
31:07What?
31:08Oh!
31:13One.
31:18It's all.
31:19It's all.
31:31I'll get a light-up.
31:38Is that your stage blood mix?
31:39That is still in the bag.
31:41This is lemon juice.
31:42And what's that for?
31:43It shows up on the blacklight.
31:45Like piss and blood and spunk and...
31:47Okay, okay, okay.
31:49Just drip a wee bit down here.
31:51Not like a day of jizz 12, slitting someone's throat.
31:54What the hell, Stuart?
31:56Lights off, please.
32:03And then...
32:17Fucking hell.
32:27I don't think we need the lemon juice.
32:31Jesus Christ.
32:35All right, let's get to work.
32:45That was fucking creepy.
32:49Feel like I've had spiders crawling over my brain.
32:51Have you never been in a death dungeon before?
32:53No, I find it quite relaxing.
32:54Oh.
32:57That'd be a tourist draw in itself, actually.
33:00Good luck advertising that.
33:02Come, spend the night in the dungeon.
33:05In the dungeon.
33:07You'll suffer sex atrocities.
33:09In the dungeon.
33:11He'll have you weeping on your knees.
33:13In the dungeon.
33:14He'll tie your pants behind your back.
33:17In the dungeon.
33:18And shove a bottle up your crack.
33:20In the dungeon.
33:23He'll break your elbows with the rock.
33:25In the dungeon.
33:27And glue Sultana's to your cock.
33:30What?
33:32It's a kind of weird sex thing he probably did.
33:35No, no.
33:35Gluing Sultana's to someone's cock is not a plausible king.
33:46I'm sorry.
33:48For what?
33:51For not looking where I was going.
33:58You're lightly still concussed, so we have to keep you in for observation.
34:01Be on the safe side.
34:02She knows her stuff.
34:03Look at her.
34:04She's a doctor.
34:09Davis is driving, eh?
34:12You and me both been in the fucking wars.
34:15You're the lucky one, no?
34:18No wanking for me for a month.
34:21At least you can draw that curtain round and tug yourself into a coma, eh?
34:29Sparkling conversation is always dead.
34:32Get well soon, eh?
34:33Aye, sir.
34:34Aye.
34:39Any chance I left home?
34:41Of course.
34:44You rest up.
34:45Fine.
34:46Fine.
34:47Fine.
34:48Fine.
34:49Fine.
35:10I put that shepherd's pie on, just for us, Geralt.
35:15It's fine. I have stuff to digitize. I can just...
35:17You need to eat, dear. Honestly, it's no fuss.
35:59All right, I'm gonna start from here and then you guys just stand around and look like you're
36:03examining stuff. Good?
36:05No.
36:06All right, okay. Fine.
36:08I've seen CSI, so...
36:16Can I come over your shoulder here?
36:21Oh, that looks good.
36:24Maybe, maybe could you guys, like, um, like cross each other's frame a little bit so you
36:29look busy and, like, maybe there's more people?
36:47Good stuff.
36:57Oh.
37:19Mr. Cain?
37:22It's freezing in here.
37:24Real flat-sex people don't mourn about the cold while they work, do they?
37:29Yeah, that's really good, thank you.
37:31Of course.
37:37Sorry, uh...
37:39What do you want?
37:45You have to stop your film.
37:51Why?
38:00I don't have any proof.
38:04Of what?
38:08I think I've always known.
38:14Known what?
38:22Great, alright, that should do it.
38:34That's, do you think good?
38:34And Bergerac returns at the same time next게요 here on UK Gold.
38:38Up next, trouble for Jaco in Brunswick.
38:42All right, I can use this thing on.
38:46Ah, here.
38:51Yeah, here we are now, yeah?
38:54Yeah.
39:07Can you take this off?
39:11Hurry up.
39:13Okay.
39:14As you can see, our guests are still delighted to be here.
39:21Hi there.
39:23And it's a big treat today,
39:25because the mistress is going to have fun with the both of you.
39:29And does that sound?
39:30It's not so like fun.
39:34Okay.
39:46Come on in, Johnny.
40:00Come on in, Johnny.
40:19Sheppard's pie.
40:23Sheppard's pie.
40:25It's ready.
40:30Right.
40:31What?
40:33And plate up.
40:39What?
40:40What?
40:49What?
41:01Ken gave me that.
41:02We had such fun together.
41:19And plate up into the bathroom.
41:24What?
41:25What?
41:30What?
41:31What?
41:31What?
41:34What?
41:34Come on, come on.
41:56Are you sure you're okay, dear?
41:58I'm just stepping out.
42:00Out? Right now?
42:01I just feel cooped up.
42:03Little walk. Clear my head.
42:06Are you sure everything's all right?
42:08I'm fine, really. I-I won't be a minute.
42:33I'm fine.
42:35I'm fine.
42:50I'm fine.
42:53I'm fine.
42:55I'm fine.
43:01Maybe the crash gave you a shock, dear.
43:04You'll catch cold out here.
43:06I'm fine.
43:07You should get in.
43:08No!
43:09Get in the car!
43:10No!
43:10Get in the car!
43:15I'm fine.
43:20I'm fine.
43:40You come back now!
44:02I won't hurt you!
44:04I won't hurt you!
44:37Cunt!
44:40Fuck!
44:42Cunt!
44:44Cunt!
44:45Fuck!
44:46Cunt!
44:48Fuck!
44:48Fuck!
44:49Fuck!
44:51Fuck!
44:52Fuck!
45:07Fuck!
45:09Fuck!
45:10Fuck!
45:10Fuck!
45:22Fuck!
45:23Fuck!
45:50Fuck!
46:22Transcription by CastingWords
46:35CastingWords
47:17CastingWords
47:45CastingWords
47:46CastingWords
47:48CastingWords
47:50CastingWords
48:00CastingWords
48:02Eugene, come here tonight, Janet!
48:05No!
48:05No!
48:07No!
48:08No!
48:10No!
48:11No!
48:12No!
48:14No!
48:14No!
48:16No!
48:17No!
48:20Years ago, I spent a night with Kenny Janet, and I got carried away into adult stuff,
48:26you know, sex games.
48:28I was married.
48:29But the way they behaved that night, the whole experience, made me think that maybe
48:33Ian Adair hadn't acted alone.
48:36Police have announced shocking new discoveries about the notorious Loch Henry murders of the
48:411990s.
48:42For years, it was thought Ian Adair acted alone.
48:45In fact, he'd been under the guidance of local officer Kenneth McArdle and his wife, Janet.
48:50McArdle shot the Adairs dead, deliberately wounding himself to cover up his role in the slaughter.
48:55The unassuming woman who hid the secret of her and her husband's part in the crimes, killed
49:00herself.
49:00After leaving recordings of the murders where her son would find them.
49:14But your dad never had all this stuff.
49:17He wasn't filming for broadcast, huh?
49:30And so, to honor this year's documentaries, please welcome Kirstie Hall.
49:39The nominees for Best Factual Series are, Suffer the Children, the Tipley Pedophile Ring,
49:47Loch Henry, Truth Will Out, and Mucanasia, Inside Project Junipero.
49:55And the BAFTA goes to...
49:57Loch Henry.
50:00Yes!
50:01Yes!
50:02Yes!
50:03Yes!
50:04Yes!
50:04Come on!
50:05Yes!
50:07Also, our fabulous post house, cart before horse, and of course, the most important person
50:15on the stage, who allowed us to tell his story, I'd like to dedicate this award to Davis McArdle
50:24and to his late girlfriend, Pia.
50:41God, there's that actress from that comedy about the bipolar single mum who fucking cries
50:46all the time.
50:47Tell us a joke, love.
50:50Shit, she's coming over.
50:52Can I just say, I love you, and your show was sublime.
50:57Oh, thank you.
50:58Um, are you the, look, Henry guy?
51:02Oh, my God.
51:04I am not worthy such an incredible piece of work.
51:10Kate Cesar, historic.
51:12We are actually developing a drama based on the whole thing.
51:16Okay.
51:17We will be looking for a peer, of course.
51:19That's all I'm saying.
51:19Wow.
51:20That is interesting.
51:22Of course.
51:54Well done, you bastards.
51:56It's a red carpet for you, eh?
51:58We've been booked up for weeks, pal.
52:00Listen how packed it is.
52:03Seriously.
52:04I just want to see.
52:04I just want to see.
52:06As for some.
52:14One.
52:33It's a red carpet for me.
52:34I am very happy to see.
52:34Okay.
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