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Watch The Big Bang Theory AMZN GalaxyTV Season 1 Episode 4 online in HD on Dailymotion.
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00:01You know, I've been thinking about time travel again.
00:04Why, did you hit a roadblock with invisibility?
00:08Put it on the back burner.
00:10Anyway, it occurs to me, if I ever did perfect a time machine,
00:14I would just go into the past and give it to myself,
00:16thus eliminating the need for me to invent it in the first place.
00:20Interesting.
00:21Yeah, it really takes the pressure off.
00:24Sounds like a breakthrough.
00:26Should I call Science Magazine and tell them to hold the cover?
00:28Sure. It's time travel, Leonard. I will have already done that.
00:32Then I guess congratulations are in order.
00:35No, congratulations will have been in order.
00:39You know, I'm not going to enjoy this party.
00:41I know. I'm familiar with you.
00:43The last department party, Professor Finkelday cornered me
00:46and talked about spelunking for 45 minutes.
00:49Yes, I was there.
00:50You know what's interesting about caves, Leonard?
00:52What?
00:52Nothing.
00:55Well, then we'll avoid Finkelday.
00:57We'll meet the new department head, congratulate him, shake his hand, and go.
01:00How's this?
01:01Pleased to meet you, Dr. Gablehauser.
01:03How fortunate for you that the university has chosen to hire you,
01:06despite the fact that you've done no original research in 25 years,
01:09and instead have written a series of popular books
01:11that reduce the great concepts of science to a series of anecdotes,
01:14each one dumbed down to accommodate the duration of an average bowel movement.
01:20Mahalo.
01:25Mahalo's a nice touch.
01:28You know, there are only eight consonants in the Hawaiian language.
01:30Interesting. You should lead with that.
01:35Oh, God, look at this buffet.
01:38I love America.
01:39You don't have buffets in India?
01:41Of course, but it's all Indian food.
01:44You can't find a bagel in Mumbai to save your life.
01:47Shmear me.
01:50Well, here's an interesting turn of events.
01:53What?
01:56Howard brought a date?
01:58The more plausible explanation is that his work in robotics
02:00has made an amazing leap forward.
02:03Hey, what up, science bitches?
02:07May I introduce my special lady friend, Summer?
02:10Howard, I told you. Touching's extra.
02:13Right?
02:13Sorry.
02:15Here comes our new boss. Be polite.
02:18Hi, fellas.
02:19Eric Gablehauser.
02:21Howard Wallowitz.
02:21Howard, nice to meet you.
02:23And you are?
02:25An actual real scientist.
02:30How was that?
02:33I can't believe he fired me.
02:36Well, you did call him a glorified high school science teacher
02:39whose last successful experiment was lighting his own farts.
02:44In my defense, I preface that by saying, with all due respect,
02:48Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state
02:52that nearly 14 billion years ago
02:54expansion started way back.
02:56The earth began to cool.
02:57The autotropes began to drool.
02:59Neanderthals developed tools.
03:00We built a wall.
03:01We built a pyramid.
03:02Math, science, history, unraveling the mystery
03:05that all started with a big bang.
03:07Hey!
03:14Morning.
03:15Morning.
03:17You're making eggs for breakfast?
03:19This isn't breakfast.
03:20It's an experiment.
03:23Huh.
03:23Because it looks a lot like breakfast.
03:26I finally have time to test my hypothesis
03:28about the separation of the water molecules
03:30from the egg proteins
03:31and its impact vis-a-vis taste.
03:35Sounds yummy.
03:37I look forward to your work with bacon.
03:39As do I.
03:42You know, I'm sure if you just apologized to Gablehauser,
03:45he would give you your job back.
03:46Well, I don't want my job back.
03:48I've spent the past three and a half years
03:50staring at grease boards full of equations.
03:52Before that, I spent four years working on my thesis.
03:55Before that, I was in college.
03:56And before that, I was in the fifth grade.
03:59This is my first day off in decades,
04:02and I'm going to savor it.
04:04Okay.
04:06I'll let you get back to fixing your eggs.
04:08Not just fixing my eggs.
04:09I'm fixing everyone's eggs.
04:11And we all thank you.
04:13I'll let you get back.
04:15Oh, God.
04:45Use new eggs.
04:50Hi. Hey, I'm running out to the market. Do you guys need anything?
04:54Oh, well, this would be one of those circumstances that people unfamiliar with the law of large numbers would call
04:58a coincidence.
05:00I'm sorry?
05:01I need eggs. Four dozen should suffice.
05:04Four dozen?
05:04Yes, and evenly distributed amongst brown, white, free-range, large, extra-large, and jumbo.
05:10Okay, one more time?
05:11Never mind. You won't get it right. I'd better come with you.
05:16Oh, yay.
05:22How come you didn't go into work today?
05:24I'm taking a sabbatical, because I won't kowtow to mediocre minds.
05:29So you got canned, huh?
05:31Theoretical physicists do not get canned.
05:35But, yeah.
05:37Maybe it's all for the best. You know, I always say, when one door closes, another one opens.
05:42No, it doesn't.
05:44Not unless the two doors are connected by relays, or there are motion sensors involved.
05:49No, no, I meant...
05:50Or if the first door closing creates a change of air pressure that acts upon the second door.
05:54Never mind.
05:57Slow down. Slow down. Slow down.
06:00We're fine!
06:01You're not leaving yourself enough space between cars.
06:04Oh, sure I am.
06:05No, no. Let me do the math for you.
06:07This car weighs, let's say, 4,000 pounds.
06:09Now add 140 for me, 120 for you.
06:12120?
06:13Oh, I'm sorry. Did I insult you?
06:14Is your body mass somehow tied into your self-worth?
06:18Well, yeah.
06:20Interesting.
06:21Anyway, that gives us a total weight of, let's say, 4,400 pounds.
06:25Let's say 4,390.
06:27Fine.
06:29We're traveling forward at, good lord, 51 miles an hour.
06:32Now let's assume that your brakes are new and the calipers are aligned.
06:36Still, by the time we come to a stop, we'll be occupying the same space as that Buick in front
06:40of us.
06:40An impossibility that nature will quickly resolve into death, mutilation, and...
06:44Oh, look! They built a new putt-putt course.
06:50This is great.
06:52Look at me.
06:53I'm in the real world of ordinary people, just living their ordinary, colorless, work-a-day lives.
07:01No, thank you.
07:02Thank you, ordinary person.
07:06Hey, you want to hear an interesting thing about tomatoes?
07:09Uh, no, no, not really.
07:11Listen, didn't you say you needed some eggs?
07:14Yes, but anyone who knows anything about the dynamics of bacterial growth knows to pick up their refrigerated foods on
07:19the way out of the supermarket.
07:21Oh, okay, well, maybe you should start heading on out, then.
07:25No, this is fun.
07:27Oh, the thing about tomatoes, and I think you'll really enjoy this, is they're shelved with the vegetables, but they're
07:32technically a fruit.
07:33Oh, interesting.
07:34Isn't it?
07:35No, I mean what you find enjoyable.
07:41Oh, boy.
07:44What now?
07:46Well, there's some value to taking a multivitamin, but the human body can only absorb so much.
07:51What you're buying here are the ingredients for very expensive urine.
07:57Well, maybe that's what I was going for.
08:00Well, then you'll want some manganese.
08:08Well, that was fun.
08:10Maybe tomorrow we can go to one of those big warehouse stores.
08:13Oh, I don't know, Sheldon.
08:14It's going to take me a while to recover from all the fun I had today.
08:19Are you sure?
08:20There are a lot of advantages to buying in bulk.
08:22For example, I noticed that you purchase your tampons one month's supply at a time.
08:29What?
08:30What?
08:31Think about it.
08:31It's a product that doesn't spoil, and you're going to be needing them for at least the next 30 years.
08:37You want me to buy 30 years' worth of tampons?
08:40Well, 30, 35.
08:42When did your mother go into menopause?
08:43Okay.
08:45I'm not talking about this with you.
08:47Oh, Penny.
08:48This is a natural human process, and we're talking about statistically significant savings.
08:52Now, if you assume 15 tampons per cycle and a 28-day cycle, are you fairly regular?
09:03Okay, no warehouse store, but we're still on for putt-putt golf, right?
09:12Hey, I just ran into Penny.
09:14She seemed upset about something.
09:16I think it's her time of the month.
09:20I marked the calendar for future reference.
09:26What's with the fish?
09:28It's an experiment.
09:31What happened to your scrambled egg research?
09:33Oh, that was a dead end.
09:35Scrambled eggs are as good as they're ever going to be.
09:39So, fish.
09:42I read an article about Japanese scientists who inserted DNA from luminous jellyfish into other animals,
09:47and I thought, hey, fish nightlights.
09:54Fish nightlights?
09:55It's a billion-dollar idea.
09:57Shhh.
09:59Mum's the word.
10:02Sheldon, are you sure you don't want to just apologize to Gablehauser and get your job back?
10:06Oh, no, no, no.
10:07Oh, I have too much to do.
10:10Like luminous fish.
10:12Shhh.
10:12I'm sorry.
10:13I didn't...
10:16That's just the beginning.
10:17I also have an idea for a bulk mail-order feminine hygiene company.
10:21Oh, glow-in-the-dark tampons.
10:27Leonard, we're going to be rich.
10:33Thanks for coming on such short notice.
10:35You did the right thing, Colin.
10:36I didn't know what else to do.
10:38He's lost all focus.
10:39Every day, he's got a new obsession.
10:47This is a particularly disturbing one.
10:53Mommy?
10:55Hi, baby.
11:06Oh, you got yourself a loom.
11:09How nice.
11:12Honey, why'd you get a loom?
11:15I was working with luminous fish, and I thought, hey, loom.
11:24Mom, what are you doing here?
11:26Leonard called me.
11:28I know, but why?
11:30Because one of the great minds of the 21st century is raising glow-in-the-dark fish and weaving serapes.
11:36This is not a serapé.
11:38This is a poncho.
11:39A serapé is open at the sides.
11:41A poncho is closed.
11:41This is a poncho.
11:42And neither is a reason to call someone's mother.
11:47Really?
11:48When was the last time you left the house?
11:50I went to the market with Penny.
11:52That was three weeks ago.
11:54Wait, then buckle up.
11:55In the next four to eight days, she's going to get very crabby.
12:01Sweetheart, your little friend is concerned about you.
12:04Yes, well, I'm not a child.
12:05I'm a grown man capable of living my life as I see fit.
12:08And I certainly don't need someone telling on me to my mother.
12:13Wait, where are you going?
12:14To my room.
12:15No one's allowed in.
12:19Gets his temper from his daddy.
12:21Ah.
12:22He's got my eyes.
12:23I see.
12:24All that science stuff, that comes from Jesus.
12:31Sheldon, your mom made dinner.
12:33I'm not hungry.
12:34Oh, Leonard, don't trouble yourself.
12:36He's stubborn.
12:37He may stay in there till the rapture.
12:40We so sure that's a bad thing?
12:43I'll tell you, I love the boy to death, but he has been difficult since he fell out of me
12:47at the Kmart.
12:51Excuse me for being so bold, but I now see where Sheldon gets his smoldering good looks.
12:56Uh, honey, that ain't gonna work, but you keep trying.
13:01I made chicken.
13:03I hope that isn't one of the animals that you people think is magic.
13:13You know, we have an Indian gentleman at our church, a Dr. Patel.
13:17It's a beautiful story.
13:19The Lord spoke to him and moved him to give us all 20% off on LASIK.
13:23You know, those that needed it.
13:26That is a lovely story.
13:27Um, are we gonna do anything about Sheldon?
13:30Oh, we will.
13:31You have to take your time with Sheldon.
13:33His father, God rest his soul, used to always say to me,
13:35Mary, you have to take your time with Sheldon.
13:39Sounds like a wise man.
13:40Oh, not so wise.
13:42He once tried to fight a bobcat for some licorice.
13:46So, everybody grab a plate and a pretty placemat that Shelly wove.
13:51Has Shelly ever freaked out like this before?
13:54Oh, all the time.
13:55I remember one summer when he was 13,
13:57he built a small nuclear reactor in the shed
14:00and told everybody he was gonna provide free electricity for the whole town.
14:04Well, the only problem was,
14:06he had no what you call fissionable materials.
14:10Anyway, when he went on the internets to get some,
14:12a man from the government came by and sat him down real gentle
14:17and told him it's against the law to have yellow cake uranium in a shed.
14:22Well, what happened?
14:23Well, poor boy had a fit.
14:25Locked himself in his room and built a sonic death ray.
14:29A death ray?
14:30Well, that's what he called it.
14:31Didn't even slow down the neighbor kids.
14:34It pissed our dog off to no end.
14:39You know, you two make a cute couple.
14:43No, we're not.
14:44We're not a couple.
14:45We're singles.
14:46Two singles.
14:46Like those individually wrapped slices of cheese that...
14:52are friends.
14:55Did I pluck a nerve there?
14:56Oh, yeah.
14:57All right, everybody.
14:58It's time to eat.
15:01Oh, Lord, we thank you for this meal.
15:03Oh, you're bound to it.
15:05And we pray that you help Sheldon get back on his rocker.
15:10Now, after a moment of silent meditation, I'm going to end with, in Jesus' name, but you
15:15two don't feel any obligation to join in.
15:19Unless, of course, the Holy Spirit moves you.
15:31Oh, my God, this is the best cobbler I've ever had.
15:34It was always Sheldon's favorite.
15:36You know what the secret ingredient is?
15:38Love?
15:39Lard.
15:45Hey, look who's coming up.
15:46Shh.
15:47You'll spook him.
15:50He's like a baby deer.
15:51You've got to let him come to you.
16:01This is ridiculous.
16:03Dammit, Sheldon, snap out of it.
16:05You're a physicist.
16:06You belong at the university doing research, not hiding in your room.
16:16You don't hunt, do you?
16:24Good morning, snickerdoodle.
16:28Morning.
16:28Oh, well, that looks awful fancy.
16:31What is that?
16:33It's my idea of what DNA would look like in a silicon-based life form.
16:39But intelligently designed by a creator, right?
16:45What do you want, Mom?
16:47You know how your daddy used to say that you can only fish for so long
16:51before you kind of throw a stick of dynamite in the water?
16:54Yeah.
16:55Well, I'm done fishing.
16:59You put those on.
17:00What for?
17:01Because you're going to go down to your office, you're going to apologize to your boss and
17:05get your job back.
17:06No.
17:07I'm sorry.
17:07Did I start that sentence with the words,
17:09If it please, your highness?
17:13I'm not going to apologize.
17:14I didn't say anything that wasn't true.
17:16Now, you listen here.
17:17I have been telling you since you were four years old.
17:20It's okay to be smarter than everybody, but you can't go around pointing it out.
17:24Why not?
17:25Because people don't like it.
17:28Remember all the ass-kickings you got from the neighbor kids?
17:34Now, let's get cracking.
17:36Shower, shirt, shoes, and let's shove off.
17:41Wouldn't have been any ass-kicking as if that stupid death ray had worked.
17:50Problem solved.
17:52Really?
17:53That's impressive.
17:55Leonard, the Lord never gives us more than we can handle.
17:58Thankfully, he blessed me with two other children who were dumb as soon.
18:08Excuse me, Dr. Gablehauser, are you busy?
18:10Well, actually...
18:11Children, he's just doodling.
18:12Get in here.
18:17Dr. Gablehauser.
18:18Dr. Cooper.
18:20Let's go, baby.
18:21We're losing daylight.
18:27Um, as you know, several weeks ago in our first encounter, we may have gotten off on
18:33the wrong foot when I called you an idiot.
18:36And I just wanted to say that I was wrong.
18:39To point it out.
18:44I'm sorry, we haven't been introduced.
18:46Dr. Eric Gablehauser.
18:48Mary Cooper, Sheldon's mom.
18:50Now, that's impossible.
18:51You must have had him when you were a teenager.
18:53Oh, aren't you sweet.
18:54His father's dead.
18:58Recently?
18:59Long enough.
19:01Please.
19:04Sheldon, shouldn't you be working?
19:10Sheldon, shouldn't you be working?
19:16Hey, how did it go?
19:18I got my job back.
19:20Really?
19:20What happened?
19:22I'm not quite sure.
19:24It involves a part of the human experience that has always eluded me.
19:29Well, that narrows it down.
19:35I'm very proud of you, honey.
19:37You showed a lot of courage today.
19:39Thanks, Mom.
19:45Mom?
19:45Mm-hmm?
19:47Is Dr. Gablehauser going to be my new daddy?
19:53We'll see.
19:55Sleep tight.
20:01Oh, my God.
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