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Watch The Big Bang Theory AMZN GalaxyTV Season 1 Episode 16 online in HD on Dailymotion.
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00:01Take him down!
00:02He's got you, Sheldon.
00:04Oh goodness, come on!
00:06Hey, guys, guys, some of the other waitresses
00:08wanted me to ask you something?
00:09It's called Tressling.
00:11It combines the physical strength of arm wrestling
00:12with the mental agility of Tetris into the ultimate sport.
00:16Yeah, that's terrific.
00:17But what they wanted me to ask you is to cut it the hell out.
00:20Alright, come on, guys.
00:21Come on.
00:23Happy birthday to you.
00:26We might as well stop, it's a stalemate.
00:28You're beating me in Tetris, but you've got the upper body strength
00:31of a Keebler elf.
00:32Keebler elf? I got a Keebler elf right here.
00:40Okay, it's a stalemate.
00:44So, Leonard, will we be seeing you on Saturday
00:46for your free birthday cheesecake?
00:48He can't eat cheesecake, he's lactose intolerant.
00:50Okay, he can have carrot cake.
00:51What about the cream cheese frosting?
00:53He can scrape it off.
00:56Forget about the cake.
00:57How did you know that my birthday is Saturday?
00:59I did your horoscope, remember?
01:00I was going to do everybody's until Sheldon went on one of his typical psychotic rants.
01:05For the record, that psychotic rant was a concise summation of the research of Bertram Forer,
01:10who in 1948 proved conclusively through meticulously designed experiments
01:14that astrology is nothing but pseudoscientific hokum.
01:17Blah, blah, blah. Typical Taurus.
01:20So seriously, are we going to see you Saturday?
01:22Uh, I don't think so.
01:23Why not?
01:23I don't celebrate my birthday.
01:25Shut up. Yeah, you do.
01:26Well, it's no big deal. It's just the way I was raised.
01:29My parents focused on celebrating achievements,
01:31and being expelled from a birth canal was not considered one of them.
01:36That's so silly.
01:37It's actually based on very sound theories.
01:39His mother published a paper on it.
01:41Well, what was it called?
01:42I hate my son, and that's why he can't have cake?
01:45It was obviously effective.
01:47Leonard grew up to be an experimental physicist.
01:49Perhaps if she'd also denied him Christmas, he'd be a little better at it.
01:56Well, I love birthdays.
01:58Waking up to Mom's special French toast breakfast,
02:00wearing the birthday king crown, playing laser tag with all my friends.
02:04Yeah, see, that's what kids should have.
02:06Actually, that was last year.
02:12So, you really never had a birthday party?
02:15No, but it was okay.
02:17I mean, when I was little, I'd think maybe my parents would change their mind
02:20and surprise me with a party.
02:21Like, this one birthday, I came home from my cello lesson,
02:24and I saw a lot of strange cars parked out front.
02:26When I got to the door, I could hear people whispering,
02:28and I could smell German chocolate cake, which is my favorite.
02:33And?
02:34Uh, it turns out my grandfather had died.
02:37Oh, my God, that's terrible.
02:39Well, it was kind of like a birthday party.
02:42I got to see all my cousins, and there was cake, so...
02:47That's the saddest thing I've ever heard.
02:49You think?
02:50Go ahead, tell her about your senior prom.
02:54Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state
02:58that nearly 14 million years ago, expansion started way...
03:02The earth began to cool, the autotrophs began to droony,
03:04and recalls developed tools.
03:06We built the wall.
03:07We built the pyramids.
03:08Math, science, history, unraveling the mystery.
03:11They all started with the Big Bang.
03:13Hey!
03:18Make sure they remember, no peanuts.
03:21Howard, every Thai restaurant in town knows you can't eat peanuts.
03:25When they see me coming, they go,
03:26Ah, no peanut boy!
03:40Hello, Penny.
03:41Leonard just left.
03:42I know.
03:42I want to talk to you.
03:43What would we talk about?
03:45We have no overlapping areas of interest I'm aware of,
03:48and you know I don't care for chit-chat.
03:50Can you just let me in?
03:51Well, all right, but I don't see this as a promising endeavor.
03:56Okay, here's the deal.
03:57We are going to throw Leonard a kick-ass surprise party
03:59for his birthday on Saturday.
04:00I hardly think so.
04:01Leonard made it very clear he doesn't want a party.
04:04Did someone say party?
04:07He just doesn't know he wants one because he's never had one.
04:10I suppose that's possible, but for the record,
04:13I've never had a threesome, and yet I still know I want one.
04:18Howard, here's the difference.
04:19The possibility exists that Leonard could have a birthday party
04:22before hell freezes over.
04:26Fine.
04:27If I do have a threesome, you can't be part of it.
04:30I'm just kidding. Yes, you can.
04:33Can you bring a friend?
04:37I think a birthday party is a terrible idea.
04:40I envy Leonard for growing up without that anguish.
04:43Anguish?
04:43Year after year, I had to endure wearing conical hats
04:47while being forced into the crowded sweaty hell of bouncy castles.
04:51Not to mention being blindfolded and spun toward a grotesque tailless donkey
04:55as the other children mocked my disorientation.
04:58Okay, sweetie, I understand you have scars that no non-professional can heal,
05:03but nevertheless, we are going to throw Leonard a birthday party.
05:06Have I pointed out that I am extremely uncomfortable with dancing,
05:09loud music, and most other forms of alcohol-induced frivolity?
05:13Nevertheless, we are going to throw...
05:14In addition, I really don't think that Leonard wants to...
05:16Okay, here's the deal.
05:16You either help me throw Leonard a birthday party, or so help me God,
05:19I will go into your bedroom and unbag all of your most valuable mint-conditioned comic books,
05:22and on one of them, you won't know which, I'll draw a tiny happy face in ink.
05:29You can't do that. If you make a mark in a mint comic book, it's no longer mint.
05:33Sheldon, do you understand the concept of blackmail?
05:35Well, of course I... Oh.
05:39Yeah, I have an idea. Let's throw Leonard a kick-ass birthday party.
06:02That's not the secret knock.
06:05This is the secret knock.
06:11What difference does it make?
06:13The whole point of a secret knock is to establish a nonverbal signal
06:16to verify the identity of one's co-conspirators.
06:19Is that Raj and Howard?
06:20Possibly, but unverified.
06:23Did you just let us in?
06:24Luckily for you, this is not a nuclear reactor.
06:28So, where'd you get the birthday boy?
06:29Well, Raj got him an awesome limited-edition Dark Knight sculpture
06:32based on Alex Ross's definitive Batman,
06:34and I got him this amazing autographed copy of the Feynman lectures on physics.
06:39Nice!
06:40I got him a sweater.
06:43Okay, well, he might like that. I've seen him get chilly.
06:47Uh, Sheldon, I didn't see your present.
06:49That's because I didn't bring one.
06:51Why not?
06:51Don't ask.
06:52The entire institution of gift-giving makes no sense.
06:55Too late.
06:56Let's say that I go out, and I spend $50 on you.
06:59It's a laborious activity, because I have to imagine what you need,
07:02whereas you know what you need.
07:03Now, I could simplify things, just give you the $50 directly,
07:07and then you could give me $50 on my birthday, and so on,
07:10until one of us dies, leaving the other one old and $50 richer.
07:15And I ask you, is it worth it?
07:19Told you not to ask.
07:21Well, Sheldon, you're his friend.
07:23Friends give each other presents.
07:25I accept your premise. I reject your conclusion.
07:29Try telling him it's a non-optional social convention.
07:33What?
07:34Just do it.
07:37It's a non-optional social convention.
07:42Oh, fair enough.
07:47He came with a manual.
07:50Question.
07:51How am I going to get Leonard a present before the party?
07:53I don't drive, and the only things available within walking distance
07:56are a Thai restaurant and a gas station.
07:58Suppose I could wrap up an order of me-crob
08:00and a couple of lottery scratchers.
08:03Okay, um, let's do this.
08:04I will drive Sheldon to get a present,
08:06and, Howard, you need to get rid of Leonard for about two hours.
08:09No problem.
08:09And then, Raj, you bring the stuff across the hall and start setting up.
08:13What if guests show up?
08:15Entertain them.
08:17What if they're women?
08:20Stare at them and make them feel uncomfortable.
08:32Hey!
08:34Hey.
08:36How's it going?
08:37Fine.
08:39So, listen, the new art is showing the revised definitive cut of Blade Runner.
08:44I've seen it.
08:45No, you've seen the 25th anniversary final cut.
08:49This one has eight seconds of previously unseen footage.
08:52They say it completely changes the tone of the film.
08:55Oh, pass.
08:57Come on.
08:58Afterwards, there's a Q&A with Harrison Ford's body double.
09:02Look, I am in the halo battle of my life here.
09:05There's this kid in Copenhagen, he has no immune system,
09:07so all he does is sit in his bubble and play Halo 24-7.
09:11Can't you play him some other time?
09:13Not if you believe his doctors.
09:19Oh, my God, do you smell gas?
09:22No.
09:23Yeah, no.
09:29Hey, you know, they have DVDs over there.
09:31Yes, but they have DVD burners over here.
09:34Leonard needs a DVD burner.
09:37Hey, Sheldon, a gift shouldn't be something someone needs.
09:40It should be something fun.
09:41You know, something they wouldn't buy for themselves.
09:43You mean like a sweater?
09:48Well, it's a fun sweater.
09:50It's got a bold geometric print.
09:53Is it the geometry that makes it fun?
09:54Okay.
09:56The point is, one of the ways we show we care about people
09:59is by putting thought and imagination into the gifts we give them.
10:03Okay.
10:03I see.
10:04So not a DVD burner.
10:06Exactly.
10:07Something he wouldn't buy for himself.
10:09Something fun.
10:10Something like an 802-11N wireless router.
10:17There you go, Copenhagen boy.
10:19How about a taste of hands pushing hand grenade?
10:25Oh, that could not feel good.
10:30Come on, come on.
10:31Are you clever?
10:37Come on, come on.
10:39Take that.
10:42Uh-oh.
10:45Uh-oh.
10:48What's the matter?
10:48This granola bar has peanuts in it.
10:50Oh, my God.
10:51Why did you eat it?
10:52I don't know.
10:53It was just there.
10:53Well, if I had a gun there, would you have shot yourself?
10:58Don't yell at me.
10:59I've got to go to the emergency room.
11:00Now?
11:01No, after my tongue has swollen to the size of a brisket.
11:05All right.
11:06Uh, just let me get my keys.
11:08Oh, God.
11:08Oh, God.
11:09Oh, God.
11:11The laundry is out of the hamper.
11:17Okay, Sheldon, what was it supposed to be?
11:20Fine, it's out of the washer.
11:23I'll call you when it's in the dryer.
11:26All right, let's go.
11:39What do you think?
11:40Um, that one.
11:41Because of the two additional Ethernet ports?
11:44Sure.
11:44He doesn't need them.
11:45He's already got a six-port Ethernet switch.
11:47Okay, then this one.
11:48Why?
11:49I don't know.
11:50The man on the box looks so happy.
11:53Penny, if I'm going to buy Leonard a gift, I'm going to do it right.
11:56I refuse to let him experience the same childhood trauma I did.
11:59Oh, I know I'm going to regret this, but what trauma?
12:04On my 12th birthday, I really wanted a titanium centrifuge.
12:08So, you know, I could separate radioactive isotopes.
12:11Of course.
12:12Instead of a titanium centrifuge, my parents bought me...
12:16Wow, this is hard.
12:18They got me a motorized dirt bike.
12:24No.
12:26What 12-year-old boy wants a motorized dirt bike?
12:30All of them?
12:32Really?
12:33Yeah.
12:35Huh.
12:37Okay, so we're getting this one?
12:38Yeah, I suppose.
12:39All right, let's go.
12:41Excuse me.
12:42Do you know anything about this stuff?
12:44I know everything about this stuff.
12:46Okay.
12:47I have my own wholesale flower business, and I want to hook up my computer in the front entrance
12:51with the one in my refrigerated warehouse.
12:53Here, buy this one.
12:54Look, it's the one we're getting.
12:55See?
12:55Happy guy.
12:56No, no, no, no.
12:56She doesn't want that.
12:57She needs a point-to-point peer network with a range extender.
13:02Which hard drive do I want?
13:05Firewire or USB?
13:07It depends on what bus you have available.
13:12I drive a Chevy Cavalier.
13:16Oh, dear Lord.
13:18Sheldon, we have to go.
13:19Not now.
13:19Penny, this poor man needs me.
13:21You hold on.
13:21I'll be right with you.
13:23What computer do you have?
13:25And please don't say a white one.
13:33Excuse me.
13:34Fill this out, have a seat.
13:35No, listen.
13:36See, we're throwing my friend a surprise party, and I'm supposed to keep him out of his apartment
13:39for two hours.
13:40Uh-huh.
13:40Fill this out and have a seat.
13:42No, see, the only way I could get him to leave was to tell him I ate a peanut, because
13:45I'm allergic to peanuts.
13:47Oh.
13:47Well, in that case, fill this out and have a seat.
13:51Look, all I need from you is to take me in the back and give me a Band-Aid so
13:54I can
13:54pretend I had a shot of epinephrine, and then you tell my friend you need to keep
13:56me under observation for about an hour, hour and a half.
13:59Is that all you need?
14:00Yes.
14:00Get out of my ER.
14:02No, you don't understand.
14:04Oh, I understand, but unfortunately this hospital is not equipped to treat stupid.
14:10Okay, I get it.
14:11I know how the world works.
14:12How about if I were to introduce you to the man who freed your people?
14:22Unless my people were freed by Benjamin Franklin and his five twin brothers, you are wasting
14:27your time.
14:30Hey, sorry, I couldn't find a parking spot.
14:32How are you doing?
14:33Bad, very bad.
14:34Really?
14:35You don't look like you're swelling up at all.
14:37Maybe we should just pick up some Benadryl at the drugstore and go home.
14:39We can't go home.
14:40Why not?
14:41Why?
14:43Because...
14:44Because...
14:46Brisket!
14:47Brisket!
14:49Water!
14:50Need water!
14:50I'll be right back.
14:56Penny, listen, I've got a problem.
14:58Yeah, well, so do I.
14:59Look, you gotta stall Leonard a little longer.
15:01I don't think I can.
15:02You have to.
15:03We all have to be there at the same time to yell surprise.
15:05Okay, you have to understand something.
15:06We're in a hospital right now.
15:08Why?
15:08Is Leonard okay?
15:09Leonard's fine.
15:10I'm fine.
15:11Thanks for asking, by the way.
15:13Okay, I don't need your attitude.
15:15Listen, just hold him there a little longer.
15:17Look, I've done my best, but he wants to go home and I don't know how to stop him.
15:20Okay, how about this?
15:22You keep him there a little longer and when you get to the party, I'll point out which
15:25of my friends are easy.
15:36Don't toy with me, woman.
15:39I got a hot, former fat girl with no self-esteem, I got a girl who punishes her father by
15:43sleeping
15:43around, and an alcoholic who's two tequila shots away from letting you wear her like
15:46a hat.
15:50Thy will be done.
16:02I'm doing this for you, little buddy.
16:10Okay, we don't have that in stock.
16:14But I can special order it for you.
16:17Him.
16:18Excuse me, sir.
16:20You don't work here.
16:22Yes, well apparently neither does anyone else.
16:26Sheldon, we have to go.
16:27Why?
16:28Well, for one thing we're late for Leonard's birthday party and for another I told him to
16:31call security.
16:34Good luck.
16:38By the way, a six-year-old could hack your computer system.
16:41Keep walking.
16:41One, two, three, four is not a secure password.
16:47Excuse me, my friend is having an allergic reaction to peanuts.
16:49No, he's not.
16:51Yes, he is.
16:52Look, sir, we are very busy here and I just...
16:55Holy crap!
16:58Please help me.
17:00Go for it.
17:01I need a gurney.
17:03By the way, by the way.
17:10Say what you will about the healthcare system in this country, but when they're afraid of
17:13lawsuits, they sure test everything.
17:16I really don't think the colonoscopy was necessary.
17:22You know, before you got all swollen up, I actually thought you were trying to keep me
17:25out of the apartment so you could throw me a surprise party.
17:29Oh, right.
17:30It's your birthday.
17:31I had no idea it was your birthday.
17:32I completely forgot.
17:33Wow, what a lousy way to spend a birthday.
17:35Well, it's all over now.
17:40There is a party, isn't there?
17:43Maybe.
17:44Howard.
17:47Are you mad?
17:48How could I be mad?
17:50You actually risked your life because you care about me.
17:55Yeah, that's why I did it.
18:00All right.
18:02Here we go.
18:03My first birthday party.
18:07I see your true colors and that's why I love you.
18:16Dude.
18:17Everybody left an hour ago.
18:22Surprise!
18:29Okay, Lennon.
18:30Here I am on your birthday party.
18:32I don't know where you are, dude.
18:34But it's really kick-ass.
18:36Everyone is very, very drunk.
18:39And...
18:41Oh, and look.
18:42There's a girl taking her shirt off.
18:46That's my friend Carol.
18:48Remind me.
18:48I gotta introduce her to Howard.
18:51Oh, sweet Krishna.
18:53Shake it, that rupee bake-up.
18:57I'm so sorry you didn't get your party.
18:59It's okay.
19:02Well, happy birthday anyways.
19:12Hey, Penny, when's your birthday?
19:14JerryRoo We talk to everybody.
19:16See you next week.
19:17Cool.
19:19I'm ready to see you next week ago.
19:20Happy birthday, Eddie.
19:21Hey, Kenny.
19:21Did you remember then?
19:21Say, Penny already.
19:21Hey, how cool like?
19:36Hey, Tommy.
19:44Happy birthday, Ryan.
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