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Watch The Big Bang Theory AMZN GalaxyTV Season 1 Episode 17 online in HD on Dailymotion.
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00:01Wada zing sh sheldon.
00:03No, it's wada ming zit sh sheldon.
00:08Wada ming zit sh sheldon.
00:12What's this?
00:15That's what you did.
00:17I assumed it was in a number of languages that the gesture was part of the phrase.
00:21Well, it's not.
00:23Why am I supposed to know that?
00:24As the teacher, it's your obligation to separate your personal idiosyncrasies from the subject matter.
00:30You know, I'm really glad you decided to learn Mandarin.
00:32Why?
00:33Once you're fluent, you'll have a billion more people to annoy instead of me.
00:38Hey!
00:39Me du luitza?
00:42You just called Leonard a syphilitic donkey.
00:46My apologies, Leonard. I'm only as good as my teacher.
00:50Why are you learning Chinese?
00:52I believe the Sejuan Palace has been passing off orange chicken as tangerine chicken and I intend to confront them.
01:00If I were you, I'd be more concerned about what they're passing off as chicken.
01:07I need to use your window.
01:08Oh, hey, yeah, no shirt. Go ahead.
01:11Hey, jerk face! You forgot your iPod!
01:16What's going on?
01:17Oh, I'll tell you what's going on.
01:19That stupid self-centered bastard wrote about our sex life in his blog.
01:25Drop dead, you stupid self-centered bastard!
01:34Okay, where were we?
01:36Not now. I have a blog to find.
01:41Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state that nearly 14 million years ago expansion started way around.
01:48The earth began to cool, the autotrophs began to drew me and with all the failed of tools we built
01:52a wall.
01:53We built the pyramids, map, find history unraveling the mystery that all started with a big bang.
01:59Hey!
02:09Penny, are you okay?
02:10I'm fine, Leonard. Just go away.
02:14Look, I understand that breaking up with someone can be very painful.
02:18Go away!
02:19Okay, feel better. Bye.
02:25She doesn't want to talk.
02:29Not surprising. Penny's emotional responses originate in the primitive portion of the brain known as the amygdala,
02:34while speech is centered in the much more recently developed neocortex.
02:37The former can easily overpower the latter, giving scientific credence to the notion of being rendered speechless.
02:49Or maybe she just doesn't want to talk.
02:54Hey, look, I found an iPod.
03:00It's smashed beyond repair. What are you going to do with it?
03:03What else? It's nothing on eBay. It's slightly used.
03:07It was Penny's boyfriends. They broke up.
03:09Apparently, he posted intimate details of their physical relationship on his blog, which I cannot find anywhere.
03:17You know what? I'm going to go back and try talking to her again.
03:20Good idea. Sit with her. Hold her. Comfort her.
03:23And if the moment feels right, see if you can cop a feel.
03:29I'm not going to do that, Howard.
03:31I'm not aware of any social convention that requires you to intervene at all.
03:35What about damsel in distress?
03:3712th century code of chivalry? Not exactly current.
03:41You'd also have to be knighted for that to apply.
03:44I don't care. She's upset. I'm going over there.
03:47Remember to sit on your hands a bit so they're warm.
03:51I'm her friend. I'm not going to take advantage of her vulnerability.
03:55So you're saying if in the depths of despair she throws herself at you and demands you take her right
04:01there, right now, you'll just walk away?
04:04I said I'm her friend, not her gay friend.
04:11Hey, listen, I know you said that you didn't want to talk.
04:14I don't.
04:16Wait.
04:17You said wait?
04:20Tell me the truth.
04:22Am I just an idiot who picks giant losers?
04:25No. No.
04:27Okay. So I pick good guys but turn them into losers.
04:31Of course not.
04:32Well, it's got to be one or the other. Which is it?
04:40I'm sorry, what were the choices again?
04:43I really thought Mike was different.
04:45I thought he was sensitive and smart.
04:49I mean, not you smart. Normal, non-freaky smart.
04:52Yeah, no, sure.
04:53You know, and then he just goes and has to humiliate me by writing about me on his blog so
04:58the entire world can read it.
05:00Actually, it's not all that easy to find.
05:02Yeah? Really? Well, my friends at work found it.
05:05My sister found it. Judging by my email, a number of prisoners at the Michigan State Penitentiary found it.
05:11What exactly did this guy write?
05:13Not that I need to know the details of your sex life. I just thought, never mind.
05:19No, you know what? Might as well read it. Everybody else has. Good.
05:25Oh God, I just feel so betrayed and embarrassed. Just want to crawl into a hole and die.
05:34Okay, well, you know, this isn't that bad. It just paints the picture of a very affectionate woman who's open
05:42to expressing her affection in non-traditional locales.
05:46Oh God. Elevators, parks, movie theaters.
05:54Out of curiosity, is this subway the transportation system or subway the sandwich shop?
06:01Sandwich shop.
06:04Doesn't that violate the health code?
06:07No, at the sub shop we were only making out.
06:10Ah, okay.
06:11But my point is that you have absolutely no reason to be embarrassed.
06:17Really? Do you think I overreacted?
06:19Maybe a little.
06:20Because I do that. I do overreact. Maybe I should call Mike and apologize.
06:24No, no, no. That, that would be underreacting.
06:29He did break the implied confidentiality of the bedroom, and in your case, the elevator, parks, and fast food franchise.
06:37You're right. I should just say I am done with him.
06:40Yes, you should. Go ahead, say it.
06:42But I never gave the man a chance to explain.
06:46What is there to explain? It's all right here, but betrayal.
06:50No, you were right the first time. This is a man who loves me, but in his own stupid way
06:56was just trying to show people how he feels.
07:00I'm pretty sure I never said that.
07:04No, you did better than that. You helped me see it on my own.
07:07Oh, good for me.
07:10Where are you going?
07:11I'm going over to Mike's. Leonard, thank you so much.
07:14Oh, sure.
07:21Huh. Maybe I am her gay friend.
07:31Howard, I'm going to need another Mandarin lesson. I obviously didn't make my point with those people.
07:38For God's sake, Sheldon, if you don't like the tangerine chicken, don't order the tangerine chicken.
07:42I like tangerine chicken. I'm just not getting tangerine chicken.
07:47Can we please change the subject?
07:49Sure. Tell us again how you screwed up and got Penny back together with her old boyfriend.
07:55Just roll the dice.
08:01Enslaved by warlocks. Stay here till you roll two, four or six.
08:04She was mad at him.
08:07She was done with him. The relationship was broken beyond repair and I walked over there and I fixed it.
08:14Boy, that story gets better every time you hear it.
08:18Actually, I thought the first two renditions were far more compelling.
08:21Previously, I felt sympathy for the Leonard character. Now I just find him to be whiny and annoying.
08:28Eat your tangerine chicken.
08:30I'd love to, but I don't have tangerine chicken.
08:35Thank you so much for your stupid advice.
08:45Incredible. You managed to screw up the screw up.
08:55I'm back.
08:57I'm sorry I yelled at you. It's not your fault.
09:01What happened?
09:02Well, I went over to Mike's to make up with him.
09:05Yeah, no, I know that part.
09:08But he had already moved on.
09:10Already? That was quick.
09:12That's what I said to the woman who had her legs wrapped around his neck.
09:19Oh, Penny, I am so sorry.
09:21How could he do that?
09:24Well, you know, you did throw an 80-gig iPod.
09:27Yeah, no, how could he do that?
09:29I swear to God, I am done with guys like that.
09:33You know, macho with the perfect body and the hair and the money.
09:37Yeah, that must get all quick.
09:40You know, just once, I would like to go out with someone who is nice and honest and who actually
09:47cares about me.
09:50What about me?
09:52What about you what?
09:56What about if you went out with me?
10:01Are you asking me out?
10:04Um, yes, I am asking you out.
10:09Wow.
10:12I was just going off your comment about the nice guy.
10:15No, I know. I got that.
10:16You know, and honest.
10:17Yeah, totally.
10:17So, but it's no big deal.
10:19Yes.
10:21Yes what?
10:23Yes, I will go out with you.
10:29Really?
10:32Yeah.
10:33Why not? I mean, what do I have to lose?
10:36Yeah.
10:40That's the spirit.
10:46Show me your citrus peels.
10:52Show me your citrus peels.
10:59Charlotte?
11:00I'm sorry.
11:05Look, do you have a second?
11:07A second what?
11:08Pair of underwear?
11:10I was just wondering if I could talk to you.
11:12It's about Leonard.
11:14Why me?
11:15Why not Kutrupali or Wolowitz?
11:17Well, Raj can't talk to me unless he's drunk and Wolowitz is, you know, disgusting.
11:24Yes, I suppose he is.
11:28All I'm saying is you know Leonard the best.
11:30Not necessarily.
11:32I'm often surprised by my lack of familiarity with Leonard.
11:35Just the other day I discovered he not only has a loofah, he hides it.
11:40Why do you suppose a man would be ashamed of having a loofah?
11:43I myself prefer to have my excess epithelial cells slough off naturally, but I don't condemn those who seek to
11:48accelerate the process.
11:50And until recently, I had no idea that despite his lactose intolerance, he can tolerate small amounts of nonfat ice
11:57cream without producing a noxious gas that I maintain in the right concentration could be weaponized.
12:04Leonard might come home. Can we talk in my apartment?
12:07We're not done.
12:10No.
12:12Why not? We're already through the looking glass anyway.
12:19Okay, so here's the thing.
12:21I guess you're aware that Leonard asked me out.
12:25Well, he didn't actually say anything, but when he came back to the apartment, he was doing a dance that
12:30brought to mind the happy hippos in Fantasia.
12:33Oh, that's nice.
12:36Anyhow, the thing I wanted to talk to you about is, you know, since Leonard and I have become friends,
12:40I was just...
12:41Want to sit down?
12:43Oh, I wish it were that simple.
12:47You see, I don't spend much time here, and so I've never really chosen a place to sit.
12:51Well, choose.
12:53There are a number of options, and I'm really not familiar enough with the cushion densities,
12:59airflow patterns, and dispersion of sunlight to make an informed choice.
13:03All right, why don't you just pick one at random, and then if you don't like it, you can sit
13:06somewhere else next time.
13:07No, no, that's crazy.
13:11You go ahead and talk while I figure it out.
13:15Okay.
13:17Um, here's the thing.
13:19So, I've known for a while now that Leonard has had a little crush on me.
13:23A little crush?
13:25Well, I suppose so, in the same way Menelaus had a little crush on Helen of Troy.
13:32All right, yeah, I don't really know who they are, but...
13:34Well, Menelaus was the brother of Agamemnon, and...
13:36Yeah, honey, I don't care, I don't care. Listen.
13:37The point is, Leonard isn't the kind of guy I usually go out with.
13:42Leonard isn't the kind of guy anyone usually goes out with.
13:46Would you be open to rotating the couch clockwise 30 degrees?
13:49No. What I'm saying is, Leonard might be different in a good way.
13:54I mean, obviously, my usual choices have not worked out so well.
13:58The last one worked out well for Cuth or Polly. He got a free iPod.
14:04Oh, glare.
14:06But on the other hand, if things don't go well with Leonard, I risk losing a really good friend.
14:11I mean, I'm guessing he's not looking for a fling.
14:13He's the kind of guy that gets into a relationship for, I don't know, like you would say, light years.
14:17I would not say that.
14:19No one would say that. A light year is a unit of distance, not time.
14:23Thank you for the clarification.
14:32Draft.
14:34You see, people hear the word year and they think duration.
14:38Foot pound has the same problem. That's a unit of work, not of weight.
14:41Right, thanks.
14:42That's a common mistake.
14:44Not the first one I've made today.
14:47Okay.
14:48I think this will be my seat.
14:52Sheldon, do you have anything to say that has anything to do with, you know, what I'm talking about?
14:57Well, let's see.
14:59We might consider Schrodinger's cat.
15:02Schrodinger.
15:03Is that the woman in 2A?
15:05No, that's Mrs. Grossinger.
15:06And she doesn't have a cat.
15:07She has a Mexican, hairless, annoying little animal.
15:10Sheldon!
15:13Sorry, you diverted me.
15:14Anyway, in 1935, Erwin Schrodinger, in an attempt to explain the Copenhagen interpretation of quantum physics,
15:21he proposed an experiment where a cat is placed in a box with a sealed vial of poison that will
15:27break open at a random time.
15:28Now, since no one knows when or if the poison has been released, until the box is opened, the cat
15:34can be thought of as both alive and dead.
15:43I'm sorry, I don't get the point.
15:45Well, of course you don't get it. I haven't made it yet.
15:49You'd have to be psychic to get it, and there's no such thing as psychic.
15:51Sheldon, what's the point?
15:53Just like Schrodinger's cat, your potential relationship with Leonard right now can be thought of as both good and bad.
16:00It is only by opening the box that you'll find out which it is.
16:04Okay, so you're saying I should go out with Leonard?
16:08No, no, no, no, no, don't.
16:11Let me start again.
16:12In 1935, Erwin Schrodinger...
16:17Two seats right there.
16:21Chung shu shu hui.
16:25Sheshe.
16:30Sheldon, I think I've made a mistake.
16:32I can see that.
16:33Unless you're planning on running a marathon, choosing both stuffing and mashed potatoes is a starch-filled redundancy.
16:40No, it's about Penny.
16:41A mistake involving Penny.
16:44Okay, you'll have to narrow it down.
16:47I don't think I can go out with her tonight.
16:49Then don't.
16:52Other people would say, why not?
16:53Other people might be interested.
16:57I'm gonna talk anyway.
16:58I assumed you would.
17:01Now that I'm actually about to go out with Penny, I'm not excited.
17:04I'm nauseous.
17:06Ah, then your meal choice is appropriate.
17:08Starch absorbs fluid, which reduces the amount of vomit available for violent expulsion.
17:13Right.
17:14You also made a common grammatical mistake.
17:16You said nauseous when you meant nauseated.
17:19But go on.
17:22Sheldon, this date is probably my one chance with Penny.
17:25What happens if I blow it?
17:27Well, if we accept your premise, and also accept the highly improbable assumption that Penny is the only woman in
17:33the world for you, then we can logically conclude that the result of blowing it would be that you end
17:37up a lonely, bitter old man with no progeny.
17:40The image of any number of evil lighthouse keepers from Scooby-Doo cartoons comes to mind.
17:46You're not helping.
17:47All right.
17:48What response on my part would bring this conversation to a speedy conclusion?
17:52Tell me whether or not to go through with the date.
17:54Schrodinger's cat.
17:57Wow, that's brilliant.
18:00You sound surprised.
18:04Mmm.
18:05Hmm.
18:06Oh, to Sueza Lido.
18:23Hi.
18:24Hi.
18:25Come on in.
18:29You look very nice.
18:32So do you.
18:37I made an eight o'clock reservation.
18:39Okay.
18:39Yeah.
18:40Great.
18:40Listen, um, maybe we should talk first.
18:44Oh.
18:46Okay.
18:48But before you say anything, have you ever heard of Schrodinger's cat?
18:54Actually, I've heard far too much about Schrodinger's cat.
18:59Good.
19:07All right.
19:07The cat's alive.
19:08Let's go to dinner.
19:17All right.
19:20The cat's alive.
19:21Let's go to dinner.
19:22Crazy, man.
19:23Call the police.
19:24No.
19:25We'll be there get to Schrodinger's cat.
19:26We'll be there now.
19:29The cat's alive.
19:31The cat's alive.
19:31The cat's alive.
19:33The cat's alive.
19:35The cat's alive.
19:36The cat's alive.
19:40The cat's alive.
19:47The cat's alive.
19:49The cat's alive.
19:51The cat's alive.
19:54The cat's alive.
19:58The cat's alive.
20:01The cat's alive.
20:03The cat's alive.
20:04The cat's alive.
20:05The cat's alive.
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