- 2 days ago
Watch The Office Season 9 Episode 1 online in HD on Dailymotion (2025).
Category
🐳
AnimalsTranscript
00:01Andi's coming back today.
00:05Andi's coming back today.
00:09Andi's coming back today.
00:10Andi's coming back today.
00:11David Wallace sent him on an outward-bound wilderness adventure
00:14for a whole month to make him more decisive and confident.
00:17He sent his own son, too.
00:19And the counselor said they both grew up big time.
00:25How was my summer?
00:26It was pretty mixed.
00:28I invented a new power drink made out of beet runoff.
00:31Mmm. Mmm.
00:34So that's really good.
00:36But I got some disappointing medical news.
00:40Mr. Schrute, the results are in.
00:42You're not the father.
00:43I told you.
00:48Oh, my God!
00:50Oh, what a summer.
00:53An emotional rollercoaster.
00:55I ran over a turtle in the parking lot.
00:58Oh!
00:59But then I saved him by gluing his shell back together.
01:04But I'm not that good at puzzles.
01:07That piece doesn't go there.
01:08Shh.
01:09So I patched him with stuff from around the office.
01:14But I couldn't get the pieces to fit right.
01:17Then, one day, while I was reaching for the glue, I crushed his shell again.
01:24But I rebuilt him even better that time.
01:29But it turned out the turtle was already dead.
01:35Probably when I ran over him the first time.
01:39For us, um, nothing new, really.
01:43The kids are great.
01:44You are really good at modesty.
01:45She's a genius.
01:46She painted this incredible mural in the kids' room.
01:48There's a hippo leading a parade of 500 children through the village.
01:51Okay, well, you have that interesting thing.
01:53Oh.
01:54Yes, Jim's friend is starting a new company based on this idea that Jim had when they were back in
01:59college.
01:59It's sports marketing, basically, but the athletes are partners.
02:03And he wanted Jim to be a partner, too.
02:05In Philly, so that doesn't really work for the family.
02:09But watch this guy make a billion dollars off my idea.
02:12He said if it takes off, he's gonna buy us a new car.
02:15An Ultima or better.
02:17Kelly Kapoor is gone.
02:19Her fiancé, Ravi, was hired as a pediatrics professor at Miami University.
02:24I don't need him anymore.
02:25I am going to Miami, piatches, to hang with LeBron James and Gloria Stephan.
02:32Miami University in Ohio.
02:35On her last day, Kelly was still a little confused about it.
02:39Enjoy this now, losers.
02:40I'm so happy for you, Kelly.
02:43Shortly after Kelly left, Ryan quit and also moved to Ohio for what he claimed were unrelated reasons.
02:50I've actually done a lot of market research, and it turns out that southwestern Ohio is going to be the
02:55next Silicon Valley.
02:56They call it the Silicon Prairie.
02:58It's a big university town.
03:01And, uh, it's not garbage. It's my clothes.
03:06And that was our summer.
03:10You good?
03:11Yeah, thanks.
03:14Don't you guys have everything? I mean, it's just a paper company.
03:18Well, we're more following you guys to see how you turn out.
03:22Oh, yeah. I guess we were kind of dramatic in the beginning.
03:27Well, I don't think anything's going to change in our lives now.
03:30With work and two kids, nothing interesting is going to happen to us for a long, long time.
04:03Andy's coming back today.
04:06Hey, uh, does anybody know where we throw these out?
04:09Oh, my God. It's called a garbage can.
04:13Helpless.
04:14There's two new guys back there with me now. They're in their 20s, and we really get along.
04:20Looking good.
04:21Just three single guys getting into trouble.
04:26They're like the new Jim and Dwight.
04:29Oh, yes. Yes, I see that. Perfect.
04:33Hey, new Jim. Come sit on my face.
04:36No, thank you. My name's Pete.
04:40No, Pete is not the new Jim.
04:43The only thing we have in common is that neither of us wants to sit on Meredith's face.
04:47And if that makes him the new Jim, then every human being in the world is the new Jim.
04:52Andy's here. Old Dwight. New Dwight. Andy's here. New Jim. Tuna. Andy's here. Pam. He's here.
04:58Hey!
05:01Wow. I thought about this place a lot when I was on Solo.
05:05Three days on a mountain. It'll change it.
05:08The things we think we need. Clocks. Yeah, right.
05:11It sounds amazing. Tell us all about it.
05:14What are you still doing here?
05:17Wonderful. Thanks.
05:19You know, I had this really funny dream during Outward Bound that you died.
05:25Brilliant.
05:27See me in my office later.
05:29The new guys. All right. It's Clark and, um...
05:33Pete.
05:35And Outward Bound was all about nicknames. They called me Iceman.
05:39You will be called Plop.
05:41What? Why?
05:42Because you're always taking dumps.
05:43No, I'm not.
05:44Come on. Everybody defecates. Relax, Plop.
05:46You will be called Fart because you fart all the time.
05:49I love it.
05:50Actually, Andy, we call this one Dwight Jr.
05:53No, I prefer fart.
05:54No! Dwight Jr. Infinitely better. You guys look exactly like Dwight. Go stand next to him.
06:00No, no.
06:00This is insane.
06:02I don't see it.
06:02I don't either. I don't either.
06:04Whoa.
06:06Mind blown. It's like father and son.
06:14Dwight, you cool if we call him Dwight Jr.?
06:17Yes.
06:19Yes, I am.
06:25It's okay.
06:26Dwight Jr.
06:29In a way, it's like I have a son. And who knows? Maybe someday they'll hire someone who looks like
06:34a younger version of him. And then I'll have a grandson.
06:38Well, I need to give my cat a-
06:40Or the one with the rain galoshes. Or the one that you let go around naked. Angela's cats are cute.
06:46So cute that you just want to eat them. But you can't eat cats. You can't eat cats, Kevin.
06:56No, the one with the one with the long hair and the denim pants. Comstock. Okay, look. He's such a
07:02special kitty. I just want to find him a good home.
07:05Give me your hand.
07:09He loves those pants.
07:14I'll take him.
07:15Please, after the turtle?
07:17I am enormously proud of what I did for that turtle.
07:21Oscar. Oscar. Will you take him?
07:23No, I'm a dog person.
07:25If you pray enough, you can change yourself into a cat person.
07:29Those guys always turn back, Angela.
07:32David, Outward Bound was incredible. I was the best at slacklining. I ate a worm.
07:38Glad to hear it. You sound really confident and decisive.
07:41Hey, you wanted to see me?
07:43Yeah, I gotta go, David.
07:45Why is Nellie still here?
07:46You can only fire Nellie for cause.
07:49Then I will make up a cause.
07:51Except you just told me you were gonna make it up. Now she sues, I have to testify against you.
07:56Then forget I just told you that.
07:57I can't. I took a course at the Weintraub Memory Academy.
08:01I sat next to this woman named Beverly Brooke.
08:03She had a Greek salad for lunch.
08:05You see what I mean?
08:06Now I know why Michael hated you so much.
08:10I am.
08:17Good boy. Getting big and strong.
08:20Snack foods!
08:22Yep.
08:24Body by Cheez-It.
08:25Ah, humor. I have it too.
08:29Oh, boy.
08:30I got a couple of tickets to the Slayer concert ten months from now.
08:34You interested?
08:36I think I'm busy that night.
08:38Or I would.
08:40Okay, well, we're both just kind of learning as we go, aren't we?
08:44Learning what?
08:45Just how this is gonna be.
08:48You know?
08:50You have a beautiful round head.
08:54Okay.
08:55So what kind of farming you into, huh?
08:57More of a fruit man or a root man?
09:01Hey, is this code for, like, gay stuff?
09:06Because if so, that's totally fine.
09:07Like, I'm fine with it.
09:08But, you know, you should know that I'm into the ladies.
09:11Spoken like a true root man.
09:14Hey, you know, if you're ever swamped, I can make some sales calls for you.
09:19My calls?
09:19So could you give me a list of all your clients or just the leads that you haven't had time
09:23to pursue yet?
09:24You want a list of my clients?
09:26You want my leads?
09:27Yeah, I'll just give them the clients.
09:28I'll give it a read.
09:29Yeah, with my leads and stuff like that.
09:32Because you're interested in going into sales.
09:33I am.
09:34Wow, that's great.
09:35Yeah.
09:36That's great.
09:36Okay, good.
09:37Let's talk about that, okay?
09:39Okay.
09:40You're not getting my clients.
09:42Nice try.
09:45Paranoid?
09:46I'm not familiar with the word.
09:47And I really don't have time to learn new words right now, okay?
09:50A pudgy 22-year-old is trying to take my job.
09:55Jim, get ready for the battle in your life.
09:57Done.
09:57Explain.
09:58The new guys.
09:59Dwight Jr. is after my job.
10:01Yeah.
10:02There is a shark hiding inside that adorable little cherub.
10:05Oh, now I get what Pete was talking about at the sales meeting yesterday.
10:08Wait.
10:09Sales?
10:10What sales meeting?
10:11The new guys called one.
10:12The new guys called a sales meeting?
10:13Clark ended the whole thing with a karate demonstration.
10:16Did you know there was a belt above black?
10:18There's no belt above black.
10:20Oh.
10:20Is there a belt above black?
10:21You should ask it.
10:22It's a color you would never expect.
10:27Too easy.
10:30Attention everyone.
10:31Comstock is still available.
10:33Oscar has been flirting with adopting him, but still hasn't given me a definite yes or no.
10:38Definitely no.
10:39Fine.
10:40For any interested candidates, I will be conducting 20 minute interviews.
10:44My ideal situation would be an independently wealthy, cute couple with a strong commitment to education.
10:52Black or white, I'm fine with either.
10:54But not both.
10:55And listen, you're in this, but you need to wow me, okay?
11:00I wanted to talk to you about our working relationship this year.
11:03It's going to be terrible.
11:06Not necessarily.
11:08No, I'm going to make sure that it is.
11:10And if it isn't, I will take immediate action to rectify that.
11:16Now, I don't like to throw around the B word, but I'm going to be a huge bitch to you.
11:24And now this focus and discipline.
11:27Or in the case of certain individuals, the skills of humiliation and looking really dumb.
11:33If you make it all the way across, your confidence will soar.
11:36But if you Toby out, then you'll feel like a real Nelly.
11:41How about a hand?
11:42Screw those guys.
11:44Now, these are my actual outward bound counselors, Rafe and Feather.
11:48Ice man.
11:48That's me.
11:50The powder is for your protection.
11:52Feather has permanent athlete's foot.
11:54Feather, show them how you dance upon the line of slack.
12:01You, uh, you're a sports guy?
12:03Sure.
12:04Uh, boxing.
12:05Tennis.
12:06Oh.
12:07Any team sports?
12:09NASCAR.
12:09The Amazing Race.
12:12Philly's fan though, right?
12:14You mean horses?
12:15No.
12:16Like baseball.
12:17A baseball team.
12:18I like the Red Sox.
12:20I'm from Vermont.
12:21Okay.
12:22Good talk.
12:24I have nothing in common with plop.
12:27All right.
12:28Who's next?
12:29Nelly.
12:30Oh, I would rather watch you and your talented friends.
12:33Nonsense.
12:34Get up here.
12:35Go ahead.
12:36Come on.
12:40Uh, you gonna wear your heels?
12:43I'm very self-conscious about my feet.
12:45Okay.
12:46Sure.
12:47There you go.
12:49That a girl.
12:50Hey!
12:50All right.
12:51Whoa!
12:52You suck.
12:55All right.
12:55Who's next?
12:56Daryl.
12:57Seems like the kind of thing white people with dreadlocks do.
12:59Dwight Jr.?
13:00This will take your speed.
13:02Uh, I guess I can give it a shot.
13:04Yeah.
13:04Come on.
13:05Get up here.
13:06Just hop on up.
13:07Okay.
13:08Focus on the horizon.
13:12Whoa!
13:14Look at this guy!
13:18I've always been good at anything that required balance.
13:21My doctor says I have gigantic inner ears.
13:24Go Dwight Jr.
13:26Hey!
13:27Whoa!
13:29Unimpressed.
13:29It's a tightrope for babies, boo.
13:32All right.
13:32Let's see you do it.
13:33All right.
13:33Let me show you how a real man walks across a flaccid cord.
13:47Hey!
13:49Who ordered the hot apple fail?
13:51Okay.
13:51I am just getting started.
13:53Okay?
13:55You got this.
13:56This is all you.
13:59Oh!
14:01Oh!
14:02Got ourselves a yard sale.
14:08Oh!
14:09Ball's in face.
14:11It's not a race, Dwight.
14:12Ah!
14:16Whoa!
14:17Well, it's official.
14:18Old Dwight is lame and new Dwight is cool.
14:22That's not true.
14:24Give me another chance.
14:26But your mouth is...
14:26This is a bloodbath.
14:28All right.
14:28I'm calling this.
14:29What?
14:30It's enough of this.
14:31Everyone, let's go back to work.
14:32This is not okay.
14:34This is a stupid activity.
14:34I would be embarrassed to be good at it.
14:39Okay.
14:43Idiots.
14:53Slacklining.
14:54Big deal.
14:55Untie that rope.
14:56Give it to a couple of pig-tailed schoolgirls.
14:58Let them start jumping with it while chanting a rhyme and giggling about boys.
15:02Doesn't seem so macho now, does it?
15:04It's a jump rope.
15:05It's a lot more.
15:18Dwight!
15:22Pam?
15:23Hey, i'm up here, up the ladder, come on.
15:36Qu'est-ce que vous faites ?
15:39Je vais vous montrer !
15:44Pourquoi vous voulez-vous cette cat ?
15:46Je ne veux pas vraiment.
15:47Comment vous soutenez-vous ?
15:49Qu'est-ce que vos ambitions ?
15:50Je veux commencer mon business.
15:52Je veux être un milliardaire.
15:54J'essaie de travailler.
15:55J'essaie de faire un meilleur endroit.
15:57J'essaie d'un MBA.
15:59J'essaie de prendre des concrètes ?
16:01Je suis toujours...
16:04Fittin' in here.
16:05Gettin' used to the new job.
16:07But definitely on the agenda.
16:10But that is a good idea, Angela.
16:12I should make a list.
16:13Oh, come on, Pete.
16:16God, that's just sad.
16:18If he doesn't watch himself,
16:19he's gonna be here for years.
16:22Doing nothing.
16:29Wow, maybe Pete is the new gym.
16:35Do you see how the trapeze completely surrounds the wire ?
16:39That means it is literally impossible for anyone to fall off.
16:43So you will merely sit below and be my counterweight
16:45as I pedal across the parking lot to that telephone pole.
16:49I will.
16:49You will.
16:50Yeah, we weigh about the same.
16:51Wouldn't you say ?
16:52Sure.
16:53If you weigh 105 pounds.
16:55So you'll do it ?
16:56No.
16:56Come on.
16:58This won't be the only thrill of your boring life.
17:00Dwight.
17:01Dwight, you may find this hard to believe,
17:02but I love my boring life.
17:04Come on.
17:04Exactly the way it is.
17:06No, Pam.
17:06Yes, and there's nothing you can say
17:08that would get me to run the slightest risk of losing it.
17:11Please.
17:11Please, Pam.
17:12Find someone else.
17:13I don't know.
17:14Ask Phyllis.
17:15I can't use Phyllis.
17:16Are you kidding me ?
17:17The moment she steps off this bar,
17:18I'll be launched into space.
17:19God, you're so insensitive.
17:27Why are you getting rid of it ?
17:28Allergies.
17:29Your husband ?
17:30No.
17:31The baby.
17:32Please.
17:32It's my husband's favorite cat.
17:34He's broken up about it.
17:35It's the only time I've seen him cry other than our wedding night.
17:39You know what ?
17:40I will take Comstock.
17:41Really ?
17:42Oh, Oscar, thank you.
17:45I'll come by after work and pick him up.
17:47Yay !
17:48Oh, poor Robert.
17:51He won't get to say goodbye.
17:52He has this business dinner tonight.
17:55Oh, c'est la vie.
17:57Please don't teach the cat French.
18:01Yeah.
18:02Hey, good news.
18:03Tonight when you come over for dinner,
18:04you can play with your old buddy Comstock.
18:16You ready ?
18:17Yeah.
18:19You know what ?
18:20I'll meet you down there.
18:21Just gotta make a quick call.
18:22Okay.
18:31Okay.
18:33All right.
18:38Oh, God.
18:42Exactly.
18:42Mmhm.
18:46¶
18:51Be quiet.
18:53Let's go to the bar.
18:53Who can stop?
18:53You?
18:53No.
18:54This is so great.
18:54Come on, Leo.
18:54But, this is右 side of me who wants me tov is him to stay on right here.
18:55I'm kind of missing three side of the stairs that were left.
19:15Attention employees of Dunder Mifflin
19:17Everyone thinks the new guys are so cool
19:21Cause they can slackline
19:25Hey Clark, this is what a real salesman looks like
19:30They say that you only live once
19:31And I'm about to prove it
19:33Dwight Schrute
19:36Hey man, it's Halpert
19:37Did you go to the other guy yet?
19:40Great, don't
19:41I'm in
19:45Yeah, yeah, I'm all in
19:48Okay, talk to you soon
19:49Bye
19:56Yeah
20:02Woohoo
20:20In the parking lot today there was a circus
20:23Copier did tricks on the high wire
20:25Where a lady tried to give away a baby that looked like a cat
20:28There was a Dwight impersonator and a Jim impersonator
20:32A strong man crushed a turtle
20:34I laughed and I cried
20:38Not bad for a day in the life of a dog food company
20:41Hey Nellie
20:41Once again, I understand that old habits die hard
20:45But if everyone would kindly walk their refuse to the trash bins
20:50Instead of tossing them, then we would
20:53Oh, Swiss
20:54Oh, it's nothing to do with me
20:56I just happen to be sitting near to where the bins are
21:01There are two things that I am passionate about
21:04Recycling
21:05And revenge
21:09Fluke
21:10Of case
21:14Okay
21:17Give it a few
21:19I gotta
21:22You
21:23You
21:23You
21:39You
21:45Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
Comments