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20:10C'est le plus important que c'est finding les gens que tu peux trust et les gens que tu
20:13te sens confortable avec.
20:15Je me sens comme sur Halloween, c'était la dernière fois que j'ai été ouvert.
20:27C'est quand je perds mon voix.
20:32C'est un profond de pain, j'ai beaucoup peur de relire ça et de sentir ça encore.
20:39Ok, I need a break, but maybe I need to try going to therapy and finally allow myself to heal.
20:47I would say let's hug, but we don't do that.
21:00It's nice to get some time in the morning for us.
21:04The Halloween party was intense.
21:07No, I know.
21:07The Chippendale situation, I think that this is another jab from Jesse and Demi at Jen and I's expense.
21:14I don't know in what world they think that they have some right to like give us exposure therapy.
21:19To force something onto someone and especially not tell them, I don't think you can claim to have a good
21:24intention.
21:25Like I, like a man, went and sat down with them, told them my issues I had with them.
21:30I talked to them about the issues they had with me.
21:33I said some super hurtful things to Jen.
21:35I look like the biggest hypocrite in the world.
21:37Like, I don't feel like that's who I am and that's like not who I want to be.
21:41Like four days later at their Halloween party with a hundred friends we don't know, we're made into the comedy
21:47act so that they can laugh.
21:48It's a different story if Brett reaches out and says, like, Zach, are you cool with this?
21:54Or even the girls.
21:56I mean, did they ask you if they could?
21:58No.
22:00So, I mean, it shows a lot about, like, who they are as people.
22:04I did hear Jesse and Demi kind of bring it up jokingly when I was at Jesse's salon, but I
22:10didn't, I didn't think they were serious, to be honest.
22:13I knew partially of what they were going to do.
22:17Brett is going to come in like normal costume, rip it off into like a chicken meal.
22:22I love that.
22:23But I didn't realize how bad this was upset Zach.
22:26I just wanted to be the fun friend who just said, yeah, and that it would be so awesome, but
22:32I didn't really question their intentions behind it.
22:35And I also didn't ask myself how I felt about it.
22:38They're shitty friends.
22:39It's like, this is our marriage.
22:41This isn't a game.
22:42And like, real friends wouldn't do that.
22:44Genuinely.
22:45Yeah.
22:46I feel like I'm tossed in the middle, having to pick between my marriage and all the girls and mom
22:54talk.
22:55It definitely feels like I have no one to turn to right now.
22:59Um, and that's really hard.
23:01It's just honestly a toxic environment and not the kind of place where I want to be like honestly raising
23:06your kids.
23:07I just wish that after the party, you didn't put the frustration you're feeling towards Demi and Jesse on me.
23:16After the Halloween party, Zach got upset about it and he was jumping to conclusions and putting his frustration on
23:22me without getting the whole picture or the whole story.
23:26But it was definitely triggering for me.
23:28I'm not frustrated at you, Jen.
23:29I just, we're continually going to these parties and spending time with these people who clearly don't have good intentions
23:36for you or for our family.
23:38I just also want you to acknowledge the frustration you put on me.
23:41Yeah, I, I am frustrated because I feel like I'm having to stick up and defend our family and it's
23:48making me look like the bad guy when these are your friends.
23:51Like if my friends were doing these kinds of things to us, I would confront them and, or I would
23:56drop them.
23:57So much was happening.
23:58I didn't feel like there was room for me to confront them.
24:02It felt like Chippendale was all over again.
24:04Just like you being.
24:05Jen.
24:06I'm not to the, not, I'm not, not to the extent.
24:09Hold on.
24:09No, not to the, not to the, Tony, Tony.
24:12You just listen to me real quick.
24:13You just listen to me.
24:14Not to the extent, obviously you're frustrated about the whole thing and you're frustrated about.
24:21Not at you, at Jesse and to me.
24:23Because they're not good friends.
24:25I know, but I wish you wouldn't put that frustration on me and you would ask me how I'm feeling
24:29than like how you're feeling.
24:32But you bring me to these parties with your friends and then I get put in these situations.
24:36I think there is a lot of things that I do need to take accountability for.
24:41I just don't think everyone sees the full context and doesn't see the other side of things.
24:46Like you also have to own up to like how you treat me after these situations that I'm not putting
24:51myself into.
24:51I just honestly felt like pretty like alone.
24:56Okay.
24:58I can't do this.
24:59I'm sorry.
25:02Are you going to hear me out?
25:04Are you going to listen to me or are you just going to walk away?
25:06I would like to take a break for a second.
25:08Will you please cut the camera?
25:09I don't want to do this.
25:10I don't want to take a break.
25:12I want to openly have this conversation.
25:14I'm not down to have this conversation right now.
25:17I'm not getting this twisted on me again.
25:21You're making it about you and how you feel.
25:23You haven't considered how I felt about this situation.
25:25Okay, we can film this later.
25:26I'm not going to do this.
25:27I'm not going to have this flipped back on me again.
25:30Because you have crazy ass friends.
25:34I've been doing so much work to handle things differently, to go about things differently.
25:39And Jen is such a sweet, pure-hearted person that I think, yeah, sometimes I feel like I kind of
25:46get a little bit, I don't know.
25:51But I don't want to say anything bad about Jen.
25:57I need you to own up to this.
25:58I'm not being quiet about it.
26:00And if you don't want to be on camera, then you can go.
26:02If you don't want to be a part of this, you don't want to be a part of this marriage,
26:04you can go.
26:05And I'm only moving forward in this marriage if you take accountability.
26:30Baby number three!
26:32So I get out of bed, and I'm headed to the bathroom.
26:37And then all of a sudden, this gush of water comes out.
26:41TMI, sorry.
26:43And I'm in labor!
26:45You ready?
26:46I'm so excited.
26:47It's time, though.
26:49I heard there was drama at Jessie's Halloween party.
26:52But lucky me, I can't afford being involved in any big drama because I'm about to give birth,
26:57and I'm so excited to start this new chapter in our lives.
27:00Okay, so this is your room.
27:02This is where we're going to have the birthday party.
27:04This is so exciting.
27:05Yeah!
27:07So I really appreciate you carrying our child, and all the love that you've given me and
27:12our children, and the love you're going to give this baby.
27:15Being a mom is one of the greatest callings a woman can have.
27:20Big breaths.
27:21Breathe in your nose.
27:22Out your mouth.
27:23You're so strong, Whitney.
27:25That's genuinely the closest I feel to heaven.
27:29Big, slow breaths.
27:32You got it.
27:33It's the greatest miracle, the greatest blessing anyone could ever experience.
27:39And there's a certain significance with having this baby with Connor, because we did go through
27:45so much, and we worked so hard to get this relationship that we have today.
27:49I'll forever be so grateful that I gave Connor a second chance.
27:53This baby wouldn't be here if we were able to overcome what we went through.
27:57It's okay.
27:58I have you.
27:58I have you.
27:59I have you.
28:00There's no other person I'd love to be in this room and experience this with than my husband,
28:05Connor.
28:08Oh my God.
28:08What do you got?
28:19I know how easy it is to get caught up in the world and worldly things, but every time
28:29I'm holding a newborn or a baby or one of my children, I'm reminded this is what matters.
28:35This is what matters in this life.
28:41I love you.
28:42I love you too.
28:42Cause baby love never felt like this.
28:46So easy, so effortless.
28:49He's here.
28:50He's beautiful.
28:51I've never felt like this.
29:01Some of the girls and I are getting together with our kids today.
29:04We are taking them to a farm that has a lot of pumpkins and rides.
29:08You guys look so cute.
29:10Thank you.
29:11Jen's not here.
29:12She's kind of been off the grid.
29:13I'm okay with it.
29:14Hey, Larry.
29:15There she is.
29:17Hi, baby.
29:18Oh, you look cute.
29:19I'm excited to see the kids play together and just have a fun, lighthearted day.
29:22Do they have a water?
29:24Hello.
29:25How are you?
29:25Good.
29:26How are you?
29:27I'm a girl fit.
29:27Go and go find me, right?
29:29Yeah, let's do it.
29:32Go, Jagger.
29:34We're down here.
29:36Arlo, stay in cheese.
29:37Hi.
29:38I'm like shaking.
29:39I don't want to be stuck in the top.
29:40Put your hands in the air.
29:42Oh.
29:44Why?
29:44I don't like it either.
29:47My pussy's tingling.
29:49I don't like it.
29:50Oh, my God.
29:51Oh, my God.
29:52Oh, my God.
29:52Don't wait for us to eat.
29:53Oh, wow.
29:54That's fun.
29:55It's complete in the corn.
29:57Jagger, come on.
29:58We're going to eat our food first.
30:00Okay, Jagger, don't put it in your mouth.
30:02Carlo, don't throw it.
30:03Up with that.
30:04That's nice.
30:04Do we have hand sanitizer?
30:05I know.
30:06I was like, Macy's going to ask someone to clean the table first.
30:09Yep.
30:11I don't like the germs, you guys.
30:13Have you talked to Whitney at all?
30:15Jen and I went yesterday and got her a gift.
30:18Wait, I want to know how you and Jen got so close.
30:20Just been hanging out.
30:23I'm going to kind of have to win these girls over.
30:26if I want to come back to MomTalk.
30:28And I think Jen and I have a lot of similarities.
30:30I can relate to her because I know what it's like to have your marriage so publicly scrutinized.
30:36No one understands unless they've been there.
30:38It feels like I'm having to explain myself when I should just be receiving support.
30:44And they see this.
30:45Yes.
30:46And there's like this all underneath that people don't see.
30:49I support your marriage.
30:50And if you guys are working through it, I'm rooting for you guys.
30:53The girls aren't the biggest fans of Jen right now, but I'm just trying not to rock the boat
30:59because I'm not even in MomTalk yet.
31:02I think she just feels alone with the whole Zach thing.
31:06Because she doesn't want to upset him.
31:08But then she also feels like if she opens up to you guys, she's like, I already kind of know
31:12their answer.
31:13Well, to be fair, when she's opened up to us, it's either a lie or Zach doesn't know she's saying
31:17it.
31:17And that's what gets her in trouble.
31:19She's done things that have bitten her own self in the ass.
31:23So are you guys all not cool with Jen?
31:24I feel like I'm just not her biggest fan for what she's done to like you, especially.
31:29What'd she do to you?
31:32Um, she's just kind of vindictive.
31:36I was one of the girls and the guys.
31:38Are you doing better?
31:39I'm done perfectly.
31:40I think you're going to be hanging out with us.
31:43Jen was definitely judging Demi for being flirty with these guys.
31:48If that's okay in your marriage, I'm not judging you for it.
31:51But then Jen turned around and flipped it as a way to use it against her and was his blackmail.
31:55We had a sit-down talk with her and Zach.
31:58And we were talking about just the disconnect between what she was saying versus what Zach was saying.
32:03Instead of, like, taking the opportunity to, like, focus on that, she took the opportunity to, like, try to throw
32:08me under the bus.
32:10And, like, was like, well, what about villas?
32:12And what about—and I'm like, okay, hold on.
32:14We're talking about you and Zach.
32:16Like, none of this concerns you in any way.
32:18I think that when Jen is in situations where she feels that she's ganged up on and isolated,
32:23she likes to deflect and kind of throw out whatever daggers she can to take the heat off of herself.
32:29Her motives are not good, so I'm just like, until I see different, like, this is where we are.
32:34There's still so much I feel like I have to catch up on, you guys.
32:38Jagger's chomping at the bit to do something.
32:39Should we go take them on our eyes?
32:41Don't put them in someone's shoes, Jagger. Stop.
32:45Jagger, do you want to go see the animals with your friends?
32:48Yeah!
32:48Okay.
32:48I'll take you guys.
32:49Soka wants to go with you guys, too.
32:51Okay, let's do the corn maze.
32:53Yay.
32:54Hey, let's hope we come out friends.
32:55We'll just go to this.
32:56Truth, no matter how this goes down.
32:58If you have to pee, just go in there.
32:59Yeah, just squat.
33:01Right here.
33:02Good old times.
33:07Miranda was, like, another level of, like, friendship.
33:09Like, she was my best friend.
33:10Like, we would talk two hours a day on the phone.
33:13I'd see her probably three times a week, and it ended overnight.
33:16If you're gonna, like, come into our circle again and come into MomTalk,
33:19I would hope at this point you're willing to, like, be open and honest,
33:22because if you're not, I will clear the air.
33:25I won't be called a liar because everything I've said is true.
33:29I'm ready to move on.
33:32Well, how have you been feeling about being around me?
33:35Yeah, I'm, like, almost maybe in shock.
33:37Like, we should have a conversation because your stories still are, like, a little different,
33:41and so I'm just confused.
33:43Like, I feel like a lot of animosity still, like, about the whole situation.
33:45The only time I, like, touched anyone or did anything with anyone was kissing.
33:50I'm hoping Taylor is ready to really have what I hope is the final conversation.
33:57I just want to clear it up once and for all.
33:59There wasn't anything beyond that.
34:07What I wanted to get across was that I was, like,
34:09when Taylor said everyone was hooking up with everyone,
34:11I'm, like, that wasn't the case.
34:12I didn't hook up with anyone.
34:13I think when people think, like, swinging parties was not really, like,
34:17I guess for me, like, what I would picture.
34:19Maybe we have a different definition of involvement then.
34:22I didn't mean sex.
34:24I just meant we were all doing things with each other.
34:26I don't want to get it twisted.
34:27The height of what I was involved in was kissing people.
34:30It wasn't just kissing.
34:34I don't know what to say about it.
34:35Yeah, it's true, but, like, also not.
34:37It's just downplaying what actually happened.
34:38I feel like it's, like, we did everything Love Island does.
34:41I've seen Love Island where they play the games.
34:43But I was just kind of like...
34:44Plus a little more.
34:46And no one had sex, as far as I know.
34:49So...
34:51Yes, you didn't have sex with the husbands,
34:53but, like, you didn't just kiss people,
34:55though you participated in all these things.
34:57I mean, I could just start listening.
34:59We did have sex in the shower with our husbands all together.
35:02We also had sex in the same bed at the same time.
35:06We would blindfold each other,
35:08and you would have to guess which husband you were kissing,
35:11and a couple times we did that.
35:13We also had a night where it was just four husbands,
35:16and you and me, they asked us to go get in short shorts.
35:19So we did, and then we came down, and we were so drunk,
35:21we were making out, and we were on top of each other,
35:23and they all filmed it on their phones.
35:28I mean, Taylor's not wrong.
35:32At this point, I don't even know if I should say,
35:34yes, I am a swinger, or no, I'm not a swinger.
35:36You guys can call it whatever you want.
35:37You tell me if I know or not.
35:39How are you guys feeling about Miranda?
35:41I feel better about Miranda than I feel about Whitney.
35:44When I'm around here, I enjoy being around her.
35:45That's what I'm saying.
35:46Well, I'm glad to hear that maybe you guys are softening on her.
35:49It might be easier since she's around.
35:50Well, I don't have any anger now.
35:52I'm still hesitant of the timing of things.
35:54Yeah.
35:55And the intentions, and she knows that.
35:57The only thing that makes me nervous
35:58is just that she is attaching herself to, like, Jen.
36:01Yes.
36:01I don't know why it makes me nervous.
36:03You're going to attach yourself to us.
36:04Yeah, I'm like, come on, join our group.
36:06I wonder what they're talking about.
36:10Being called a bad friend was, like,
36:11what I took really personal,
36:13and so I guess, like, this is, for me, like, what this is.
36:17I am here, and I came here to take accountability.
36:21So, yeah, we've had sex in the same room.
36:23Like, we've had, like, like, we had crazy parties in Mexico.
36:27And I'm like, I don't think you deserve to be lied to.
36:32Yeah, there were a handful of things that happened
36:34that I am still, like, yeah, that's so embarrassing.
36:37I'm not going to deny that.
36:39If I could go back,
36:40I would have handled everything differently.
36:42I think that I really let the fear of being perceived
36:45get the best of me.
36:46I just felt so out of control and so wronged.
36:51It was difficult for me to have a lot of, like, empathy for her.
36:55But I wish that I would have come out with what really did happen.
36:59Rather than denying everything,
37:01that probably did make her feel worse and look worse.
37:04And that wasn't my intentions.
37:06It was very much, I'm terrified,
37:08and I have a reputation as a Mormon to uphold.
37:11And I regret that.
37:13The sooner that we get through these hard conversations,
37:16the sooner we could hopefully build
37:18a genuine relationship and friendship.
37:20I just want to move on and leave it all behind us
37:25for your sake, for my sake, for everyone's sake.
37:27Then I won't make you go into any details.
37:29If you're, like, saying, yeah, we did crazy stuff
37:31along with, like, kissing,
37:34then that makes sense to me.
37:36I just wanted to make sure we were, like, on the same page.
37:41I do feel like Miranda is trying to take the steps
37:43of admitting the things that she has done
37:45and just taking accountability.
37:46I know her very well,
37:48and I think there's a part of her
37:49that's very uncomfortable admitting those things,
37:53knowing that family and friends
37:55are going to know and see and hear about it.
37:57And it's, like, I have a really soft spot for her
37:59in my heart, and I still do love her.
38:04The whole, like, Chase thing
38:05and, like, his feelings and all of that
38:07was just, like, gut-wrenching.
38:10You know, I'm feeling, like, double betrayal.
38:11Yes.
38:11Betrayal from, like, my husband and from my best friend.
38:13There was just so much
38:14that I couldn't do the friendship anymore.
38:17And I understand that that, like, wasn't fair to you.
38:21Given how close we were,
38:22I, like, I could see how betraying that would be.
38:24Yeah.
38:25I would be really sad about it.
38:26Yeah.
38:27So I...
38:29I hold that on me, too, a lot.
38:31So it's not fair to hold resentment with you,
38:33because I'm just, like,
38:34like, I was not a good friend at that time yet.
38:40Sorry.
38:42I was a really bad friend,
38:44and maybe I was a bad person,
38:47and I'm sure Taylor can relate,
38:50but it was a lot.
38:51Things we both did to each other,
38:54I feel like that's fair to just let it go.
38:57Like, I'm, like,
38:59leave Taylor 2022, like, in the past,
39:01because I feel like I'm a completely different person.
39:03I don't know if you can tell.
39:04But, yeah, I just, like,
39:05I do not like that version of myself,
39:07and I think that's why I'm stuck.
39:08I'm, like, not moved on,
39:09because I'm, like...
39:11I don't know.
39:12I don't know, like...
39:13I can't even, like, actually talk about it,
39:15because it's, like...
39:17I understand.
39:18I just don't know how someone could be, like,
39:19that horrible.
39:20You?
39:21Yeah, like, that person I was.
39:23Like, very selfish.
39:25I feel like I was such, like, a good person
39:28up until, like, those, like, that time.
39:30And, like, I was so loyal to my husband,
39:33to my best friend.
39:34Like, I told him, like, a lot, like,
39:35I'm not gonna do this,
39:37because I'm, like, I'm a loyal wife.
39:39And then I think as things went on,
39:41like, I was...
39:43I got weaker and weaker the more we did it.
39:46I don't know how I did that to him.
39:48And, like, you...
39:51I don't know.
39:52I just don't...
39:52I hate her.
39:53Like, I hate her.
39:54Yeah, but, Taylor, if you weren't her,
39:57you wouldn't be who you are now.
39:59Like, you...
39:59Which I don't know.
40:00It's a good thing.
40:01Like, I'm, like, in and out.
40:04Yeah, but do you not think that you're better
40:05than where you were?
40:06Yeah, I'm a better person, hopefully.
40:08Yeah.
40:08Absolutely.
40:09Like, I told you how I've seen it in you.
40:12I think it's more than fair
40:14for you to give yourself a little bit of grace.
40:16Miranda and I talking here
40:17does make me realize I do miss the friendship.
40:21Her and I have, like, this natural chemistry
40:23that we just, like, gravitate towards each other.
40:26And I have never had someone like that.
40:28But I don't know if I want to be her best friend.
40:30Like, obviously, there's a ton of history,
40:32so time will tell with that.
40:57Hello.
40:58Hi, Mikayla.
40:59How the heck have you been?
41:02Busy.
41:02Yeah.
41:03Lots going on.
41:04So what are you thinking
41:05that you want to focus on today?
41:08Maybe retouch on some trauma.
41:11Okay, yeah.
41:12So I'd like to maybe see if we can go back
41:15to that 14-year-old, you know, Mikayla.
41:17Who do you think you want to take your power back
41:20from the most?
41:23My mom.
41:25I think it's also maybe just becoming comfortable
41:27with keeping it in for so long
41:29and shoving it down
41:31and the fear of bringing it up as well.
41:34Mm-hmm.
41:36Yeah.
41:36Don't know how to process it,
41:38so just keep it down.
41:40Is it getting harder to keep it there?
41:43Are you noticing it have more effects?
41:46Mm-hmm.
41:47Definitely have more effects, I would say.
41:50Notice it spilling out into different relationships
41:53or different areas.
41:57Growing up, I think we all kind of inherited the trait of
41:59you push everything under the rug,
42:01you don't talk about it until it gets to the boiling point,
42:04and for me, it was presenting itself in physical ways,
42:07and it was like I couldn't run away from it anymore,
42:10and so I was like, okay, well, I'm just going to go in
42:11and I'm going to headstrong, just attack it.
42:14I still get, like, triggered by it,
42:16and I still have the trauma response.
42:18So sometimes to take your power back,
42:21we need to do things now
42:22that you didn't have a chance to do when you were younger.
42:25Mm-hmm.
42:25All right, so I want you to channel into the feistiest,
42:31snarkiest, meanest, bitchiest piece of yourself.
42:35Okay.
42:38I'm going to represent the person that was abusing you,
42:41and I want you to come at me.
42:43I want you to say what you really feel about me.
42:47You're a piece of shit.
42:48I can't do it.
42:49Yeah.
42:50I'm like, I can't do it.
42:51What else would you say to me?
42:53I don't know.
42:55No, I'm not comfortable.
42:57It is uncomfortable, Michaela, for sure.
42:59It's uncomfortable for you to have to live with us,
43:02but you have a right to say you're peace.
43:06Mm-hmm.
43:07You have a right to say you had no right.
43:11You took advantage of me.
43:15I was a little girl,
43:18and you hurt me
43:22in a way you had no business ever putting hands on me.
43:32You're a piece of shit,
43:35and you had no right to do it to me
43:38and take so much from me,
43:41and I feel a lot of hate
43:44towards you for it.
43:52You motherfucker.
43:55Amen.
43:59Amen.
44:00Amen.
44:01Amen.
44:01Is it any lighter?
44:02Is it still just as heavy as ever?
44:04Is it?
44:05I think it's a little lighter, for sure.
44:08Yeah.
44:08It's a little bit lighter.
44:10Mm-hmm.
44:12I think just talking about it is a little healing.
44:16talking about my past sexual abuse is not easy,
44:19but I feel like there's something really freeing
44:21about finally speaking my truth
44:23and expressing these emotions
44:24that I've held in for so long,
44:26and it's definitely something
44:27that I want to apply to every aspect of my life.
44:29I want to flip the script and break that cycle.
44:33Is it something that you could leave here
44:35instead of tucking it back inside of you?
44:38Yeah.
44:55Are you going to spit up again?
44:59There it is.
45:01That's what you wanted to happen.
45:10You just had a baby.
45:12I know.
45:13Oh, my goodness.
45:15You forget.
45:16Yes.
45:16Every single time, you forget.
45:17Here, yeah.
45:18Let's go in here.
45:19It is perfect.
45:20I know.
45:20Macy and I are visiting Whitney today
45:22and just checking on how she's doing postpartum.
45:26Hello.
45:27Oh, my gosh.
45:27You guys are doing the green stuff.
45:29Hi.
45:29Of course, Clara.
45:30I wouldn't say I'm, like, besties with Whitney,
45:32but I have no issues with Whitney,
45:34and I'm here if she needs a friend.
45:37It is tiny.
45:38I know.
45:38It's so small.
45:40So when he reached out to me to get together
45:42to kind of just hash everything out,
45:44I feel like I reached out to you, like, ever so often.
45:46You didn't respond to me,
45:47and then all of a sudden you posted a personal text online.
45:50And then I'm like, what the hell?
45:51So it felt like a stab in the back, to be honest.
45:54I wish that I would have just talked to you
45:56rather than running away, and I'm sorry.
45:58I just can't help but feel bad for her,
46:00and I do think that she regrets
46:02all of the things that happened.
46:04I mean, Jesus told us to forgive and love my neighbor,
46:06so that's why I'm forgiving.
46:08You want to hold him?
46:09Yeah.
46:11He's so freaking cute.
46:13Look at his hair.
46:14Oh, he might be getting hungry, though.
46:15He's, like, opening his mouth.
46:17I'm glad you're, like, doing good,
46:20and you're up, and you're, like, all around,
46:22which is crazy.
46:23Yeah.
46:24Okay, wait.
46:24I have to know what happened at the Halloween party.
46:27Oh, gosh.
46:28That was a nightmare.
46:28Maybe we were, like, a summary.
46:30What happened?
46:31What didn't happen, really?
46:32I know Chase showed up
46:33because Miranda told me Chase was falling.
46:35Well, that's when chaos started.
46:36Okay.
46:37We just started going at him.
46:38Yeah.
46:38Like, it was bad.
46:39Dakota's in the middle, like, believing him.
46:41I'm like, why would you believe him
46:43when you can see he's lying?
46:44The biggest issue I had at the Halloween party
46:47was kind of Dakota not defending me
46:49as much as I thought he would to Chase.
46:51Did you tell me that Jimmy had a sex dream about me?
46:53Yeah.
46:54You never told me that.
46:55Oh, you never told him that?
46:56That's crazy.
46:57No, she left that out, too.
46:59That's really opportunistic.
46:59So, yeah, so that's what I'm saying.
47:01Almost as if he's looking for something
47:03to justify, like, the lies I have found out,
47:06it makes it hard to move forward.
47:08Isn't that crazy?
47:08Can you believe that?
47:09And then the cops came.
47:12Yeah, they're only yelling at Chase.
47:13It was crazy.
47:14And I'm like, what the hell?
47:16When you give birth, it's just you and this baby.
47:19As we're sitting here talking,
47:20I'm just constantly reminded of how much I miss this.
47:22I miss being around even the other women,
47:24and I miss us all being together.
47:28Girlfriend's crying.
47:29Miranda's crying.
47:30That's when Jordan freaks out.
47:31He's like, take accountability.
47:32Take ownership!
47:35Take ownership right now.
47:36That's what I did.
47:37No, take ownership!
47:38That was wild.
47:39And then I guess she didn't know.
47:41Like, it was so weird.
47:42But that's craziness.
47:43That's, like, insane.
47:45I can't believe I'm about to say this out loud,
47:47but I think I want to come back into MomTalk.
48:04I've definitely felt very isolated.
48:07It definitely feels like I have no one to turn to right now.
48:13It feels like Jesse and Demi are trying to sabotage me in my relationship.
48:22This whole time, you were talking about how you're the supportive friend to me.
48:26If MomTalk is about friendship, then why are you doing this to me?
48:32If you truly knew what I have been going through this past year,
48:35this is the last thing that you would be doing.
48:40Hey, I went to the store.
48:42Yeah?
48:46I mean, I'm 10 days late now, so I think we should.
48:52We should take a pregnancy test.
48:56Okay, let's do it.
48:58Okay.
48:59You just want me to wait right here?
49:01Will you come in the bathroom?
49:03Or after I...
49:05Sure, yeah.
49:08Okay.
49:21Do you want to look at it together?
49:23Yeah.
49:37I'm so fine.
49:39I'm really happy looking at this for the long time.
49:44I'm really scared.
49:47I started feeling depressed and anxious
49:50because my life has been really rocky
49:55and all over the place.
49:58So I am stressed out of my mind
50:05with the thought of me being pregnant
50:08because Zach and I aren't on the best of terms
50:13and I think the last thing we need is another baby.
50:18You're a baby.
50:19I'm okay.
50:20I'm in Zach.
50:27Ready to look at it?
50:28Yeah.
50:29Yeah.
50:31Yeah.
50:34Yeah.
50:36I'm pregnant.
50:38Oh, my God.
50:44Oh, my God.
50:48Yeah, I'm just scared
50:53because I'm not the person I want to be
50:56before bringing in another child.
51:00So I'm sad for this child
51:03because
51:05I don't even know where my marriage is at.
51:10And so
51:12I think
51:13in this moment
51:16I've kind of come to my breaking point.
51:20Oh, my God.
51:27Do you want it harder, softer?
51:30Oh, I like that.
51:30Oh, my God.
51:32Do you ever think you'd be back
51:33at a long talk sex party?
51:35I mean, Miranda's a great kisser.
51:38I just wanted to talk to you guys
51:39about, like, the Halloween situation.
51:40What you guys did
51:41was touch my wife without consent.
51:44A few months ago,
51:45I got confessions.
51:46It said,
51:47I slept with Demi's husband last year
51:49while she was away.
51:51Tensions and mom talk
51:52have been really high right now.
51:54I feel, like, so alone with my marriage
51:56and we're not with all the girls.
51:58Okay.
52:00Now it's time for you guys to confess
52:02something that you've held in
52:03that you've never told people.
52:04So many secrets.
52:06Oh, no.
52:20Well, I'm frozen in this moment.
52:25I'm frozen in this moment.
52:28I'm afraid all I feel is a missing piece.
52:33All I feel is a missing piece.
52:36Right now, I need you to save me.
52:41I'm frozen in this moment.
52:47You're welcome.
52:48You're welcome.
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