- 4 hours ago
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:05To the celebrities that are coming on this course, I've got one thing to say.
00:10Prepare for all of your worst nightmares to come true.
00:15Instagram can't save you now.
00:18In this series, 14 British and Australian celebrities
00:25have enlisted to go head-to-head in the most punishing stages of SAS selection.
00:31I'm hoping I can overcome my biggest fear.
00:35Life is for living. It's now or never.
00:39Led by an elite team of ex-special forces soldiers.
00:44These celebrities are going to get their ass kicked on this course.
00:48We're going to hit them hard.
00:50And we're going to keep hitting them until we break them.
00:56Don't screw it up!
01:00No other test asks as much.
01:02Come on, don't give up!
01:03I'm not giving up, staff!
01:04What can I do, man?
01:05All means as much to the few who make it through.
01:10I'm not going to ask.
01:11You can do it.
01:12You've got this.
01:34I just feel a bit smelly and dirty.
01:37Oh, my God.
01:38I feel disgusted.
01:39I've passed the point of smelly.
01:42It even stinks under the armband.
01:46Tramps.
01:51What is, you know, when you go, oh, Struth?
01:53What is, what is it?
01:54What is Struth?
01:55Oh, Struth.
01:56Oh, shit.
01:57Yeah.
01:58Like, you're shocked.
01:59You're like, oh, Struth.
02:01I never used Struth, though.
02:03No.
02:04I only picture that as, like, Alf Stewart on Home and Away.
02:08The only person I know that uses that word.
02:11Alf Stewart.
02:15It's the start of phase six.
02:19Of the 14 celebrity recruits that begun the course,
02:24just five remain.
02:25That's like mixing glue, isn't it?
02:27Oh, God, I honestly don't know how he's eating that.
02:30That's good when it goes through your colon.
02:31It'll pull everything off.
02:33I don't know how many more days my needs got left.
02:35Not good.
02:36I'm, like, on the edge.
02:39Yeah, I know that feeling.
02:42You're a heel dick.
02:44You've got to dig in.
02:46Gabby, you'll be so upset if you pull out now.
02:49I'm in a climb.
02:49Like, there's so little left.
02:52You've got this.
02:57This is where you want it or you vomit.
03:01Get on parade!
03:04Everyone out.
03:06Snap it off, wipe it off, get on parade.
03:17Good morning, people of the revolution.
03:20What have we got left?
03:22Two Aussies, three English.
03:25Where are all the Aussies?
03:27Oh, they went off.
03:28Right.
03:30Day six, phase six.
03:33Time to ask yourself, have I got what it takes to go to the next level?
03:41Do you think we have?
03:42Yes, stuff.
03:43Is it all too much for me?
03:46Or can I do it?
03:48That's the question, isn't it?
03:50Number five.
03:51Five.
03:52Oh.
03:53I thought it was a guppy fish.
03:56Stay in control.
03:57Back into the game, all right?
03:58You will have to want it.
04:02Because if you don't, we will call you.
04:06If you don't produce what we need, okay.
04:09I'm going to say go flames off this parade square.
04:13Go!
04:15You have your care through the gate.
04:25What I'm struggling with is, like, the judgment from them.
04:29Yeah.
04:30I don't like the shouting.
04:31No, no one likes it, do they?
04:33I keep having moments of feeling really strong,
04:36and the moments of being like, I don't know if I can do this.
04:40The recruits have been brought to a Rocky Mountain Pass.
04:44Right, let's go.
04:45Give us a couple of meters, though.
04:48The stench is almost unbearable.
04:51To reach the first task of the phase,
04:54they must hike across treacherous terrain
04:58over 5,000 feet above sea level.
05:02Get up there.
05:04As a special forces operator, we're combat divers.
05:08We're paratroopers.
05:09We're shooters, scout snipers.
05:12All of those tasks require mastery over one's body,
05:18total mental and physical control.
05:22Make sure you can see the vista.
05:25People pay thousands for this shit.
05:27You've got enemy around every corner.
05:30You're physically fatigued.
05:31You're at height.
05:33Still, you've got to control that fear,
05:35put it to the side.
05:36This is absolutely critical for mission success.
05:46Look at everybody.
05:47When we deploy to mountainous terrains like Afghanistan,
05:51one of the advantages that we have,
05:53of being able to operate at height,
05:55is that we can approach the enemy
05:56from a position that they least expect.
06:00About turn.
06:03One hundred and sixty-five feet above the ground,
06:07the DS want to test the recruit's ability
06:10to traverse a wire with complete control.
06:14This is the postman's walk.
06:16It's a realistic task, obstacle crossing.
06:19This would be done at night,
06:21fully laden with kit,
06:22and possibly two or three years on that once.
06:25You're a sitting fucking duck on there.
06:27So you need to get across there at best speed.
06:35I don't think there's some trampolines
06:37or something at the bottom.
06:39I haven't even looked down.
06:40Let's go!
06:42First victim.
06:43For fuck's sake.
06:45Stepping up to the task is recruit number seven.
06:48Come on, number seven.
06:50World Cup-winning rugby player, Ben.
06:53OK, number seven, over to me.
06:54Unclip off there.
06:55You're free walking now,
06:56so I'll go steady as you come round to me, OK?
06:58Yes, staff.
07:02I have no clue what my limits would be,
07:05although I am profoundly deaf,
07:06which is hereditary.
07:07That's why I never passed the ball when I played.
07:10I couldn't hear anyone.
07:12Just ran scared, that was it.
07:14You're going to move with purpose and speed straight across.
07:17Obviously, if someone goes wrong
07:18in the first fucking ten metres,
07:20you hear me?
07:21If someone goes wrong in the first ten metres,
07:23you can imagine what's going to fucking happen.
07:24Probably pop a couple of ribs,
07:26burst along or something.
07:27Shit.
07:28I don't mind heights.
07:30I'm a pilot.
07:31I learned to fly helicopters 2007.
07:34But that doesn't mean that you can't be scared
07:36or fearful or whatever.
07:38The only way you're going to conquer a fear
07:39is by facing it head on.
07:41Let's go.
07:44That's it.
07:44That's good.
07:45No, no, no.
07:46Keep your feet on there.
07:46If you step off, you'll bounce, slide.
07:49It's a dance movement.
07:50Come on, Ben.
07:51I have a lot of self-doubt.
07:53But where do you get a test as much as this?
07:55When are you going to be pushed to your limits like this,
07:57physically, mentally?
07:58You're looking down, that's why you're wobbling.
08:00You're turning to Shaking Stevens.
08:02Where am I going to learn all this in Sibby Street?
08:06I don't think you're going to.
08:08Whoa!
08:09Stop messing around.
08:10Showing off.
08:12Don't lift your feet off the rope.
08:14Just slide.
08:15Maybe that.
08:15Come on.
08:16Smooth.
08:17That's it!
08:19Ah!
08:20Oh!
08:22Ah!
08:23Ah, fuck.
08:26Catastrophic!
08:26Fail!
08:27Fail!
08:28You look like a baby in a doorway.
08:30God.
08:34How was it?
08:35I exasperated my arms and I just couldn't hold my grip anymore.
08:39Is it scary?
08:40Yeah.
08:42Oh, fucking hell.
08:43We're all cacking our pants, mate.
08:47Number 10, let's go.
08:49Come to me, 14.
08:50The postman's walk.
08:52It's huge all the time when going into the battle area.
08:55You fucking shake your butt.
08:57You're like a pissing dog.
08:58You want to come the way that no one expects you to come.
09:00Whether it's over the mountain, under the water, over the water.
09:03We will find that way.
09:06Speed is of the essence.
09:07Control it.
09:09Slow is smooth.
09:11Smooth is fast.
09:12It's one of my favourites.
09:14You have to be prepared to take the risk and have the courage to cross these obstacles,
09:19which can sometimes be more scary than actually getting into the battle zone.
09:23Together, away.
09:25Together, away.
09:26If you feel a wobble, keep moving.
09:28You cannot afford to hesitate and take your time and get into a panic.
09:33You have to move with purpose.
09:35This is where you're going to have to work for it, all right?
09:37Control.
09:39Come on, keep going.
09:40Because if you don't, the enemy are looking for you,
09:44which means someone is probably going to get killed.
09:49Keep going.
09:50Come on.
09:51Lift your legs up a little bit.
09:52Hit.
09:53Hit.
09:53Ah.
09:54Where you going?
09:56Fail.
09:57Keep looking straight ahead.
10:00Let's go, 14.
10:01Where the fuck are you going?
10:03Let go.
10:04Fail.
10:06Jesus.
10:07Had high hopes for him.
10:10Shocking.
10:11Worst fail yet, 14.
10:13He didn't even get halfway.
10:14That was a pathetic effort.
10:16Ah, fuck.
10:23Come on all the way.
10:25Don't fuck it up now.
10:27My head's stuck.
10:28Hold it.
10:28Keep going.
10:30My head's stuck.
10:31No.
10:31It's not stuck.
10:32Just keep moving.
10:35Oh, fuck it up now.
10:38Fuck it.
10:38Come on, then.
10:39Step onto the rock.
10:40Oh, God.
10:42Look what I've done here.
10:43Stand there.
10:45Face me.
10:49You're more shocked than I am.
10:52Not so dire now, are you?
10:54No.
10:54But anyway, that was a pass.
10:56I'm really happy with that.
10:58So far, only one recruit has made it to the other side.
11:02Well done.
11:03Smashed it.
11:05So scary.
11:07Next up is recruit number five.
11:09TV personality, Gabby.
11:14So, matter number five, you've not been scared of any of the height tasks?
11:17To do.
11:19To do.
11:19To do.
11:21How big the height is, do you know what I mean?
11:22Like, how far.
11:23You got this, girl.
11:25If you just...
11:25You just slide across.
11:26Slide.
11:30I don't know if I could do it.
11:41Come on, number five.
11:42Get your head in the game.
11:43Do I get nervous when I do these sort of tasks?
11:46Fucking right, I get nervous.
11:47But it's time to shine.
11:49Compose yourself.
11:50Use your breathing techniques.
11:51Get your head in the game and focus.
12:12Come on.
12:13Momentum.
12:14Even though I'm small, you know, I feel like I'm pretty strong.
12:18But everyone has the moment where you doubt yourself.
12:21Oh, it's dangerous as fuck.
12:24I think my resilience comes from losing my dad as a young adult.
12:28I would love for my dad to watch me and see me do really frigging well on this and be
12:33like, that's my girl.
12:35Good luck.
12:36You're going to fucking need it.
12:38But I will be annoyed with myself if I let myself down because I didn't give it full whack.
12:46Away you go.
12:48There you go.
12:48You've got it.
12:49That's good momentum.
12:51Just keep that going all the way.
12:53Nice and steady.
12:56Quarter of the way already.
12:57Doing well.
12:58Fantastic.
13:00That's it.
13:01Keep it up.
13:01That's it, five.
13:03You're almost halfway.
13:05This is where you've got to work for it.
13:08Slide.
13:08Move it across.
13:10No foot off the line.
13:13Oh, my God.
13:14Good charge.
13:15It's amazing.
13:17Keep going.
13:18That's it, five.
13:21No.
13:22Don't screw it up.
13:23Don't fucking go and fuck it up now.
13:27Finish strong.
13:28Keep coming.
13:29Good effort, number five.
13:31Stop rushing it.
13:32Step onto the rock.
13:33Oh, my fucking God.
13:34Oh, look.
13:35I'm so proud of her.
13:36Yeah.
13:36Epic.
13:37Lucky.
13:38Oh, my fucking God.
13:38Shush.
13:40Stop.
13:41Like, even when you pass something, you still swear.
13:43You've got fucking Tourette's.
13:45I'll tell you what you did.
13:47Pace.
13:48You did.
13:48I fell in love.
13:49Okay, you tell me what you did.
13:50No, no, sorry.
13:50I just...
13:51Sorry.
13:52I feel like I just...
13:53I was just thinking the whole time.
13:54Just like...
13:56So, two, one, two.
13:57I'll tell you what you did that was correct was not to take your feet off the line.
14:01You just kept them on and kept a smooth, steady rhythm.
14:04Yeah.
14:05That's not...
14:06That's a pass.
14:09All round, two passes, three feels.
14:14Number seven, he's been a bit of a machine throughout this, but he blew his arms out,
14:18got about three quarters of the way across, and he fell off, so it was a feel.
14:22Down to fear gripping and burning out and stamping.
14:26Yeah.
14:27Number four, fuck knows where that come from.
14:31The fives was the smoothest and better pass.
14:33Number five was crying at the top, and she hasn't been scared of heights.
14:37I said, look, if you're not nervous about something, number five.
14:40Really?
14:40Yeah.
14:41Five, I saw the tears.
14:42I thought, here we go.
14:42This is going to be a drama.
14:43So, let's have a chat with number five, see what's going on.
14:47Cool.
14:47Let's rock it.
14:56It's the first time that I've honestly thought, I don't know if I can do that.
15:01This is what it's about, yeah.
15:02Conquering shit.
15:04God, I tell you what, though.
15:06Fear is exhausting.
15:08Mm.
15:09Absolutely, babe.
15:17Oh, my feet.
15:21I feel so good, Dad.
15:24Watch your face.
15:25I don't know.
15:27Oh, you know.
15:30Being constipated is not a present, is it?
15:32No.
15:34Don't pop an eye out.
15:39Recruit number five!
15:46For the second time, the DS decide to call in number five, Gabby.
15:51Hands up, thumbs up.
15:53After her loss of control on the morning's task.
16:14How's it going?
16:16Better than the other day when I came in here.
16:19Why is that?
16:20I just think my mindset might have just, like, changed a little bit.
16:23Even though you came off that task, having passed, you still couldn't stop swearing.
16:29When I first laid eyes on the task, I would say, this is the first one that I've really felt
16:35fear.
16:36For us, we are looking at the reactions.
16:39Do they let it go to their heads?
16:41Or do they let it eat them up?
16:43Do they just learn from it?
16:45Bounce back?
16:46Go again?
16:47And you're kind of drawing attention to yourself for the wrong reasons.
16:52The way you react, where does that come from?
16:55I think I'm just, like, really hard on myself.
16:58Because after my dad died, it wasn't just him.
17:00Him dying, it was like a domino effect.
17:02We lost my granddad the month after.
17:03And then my mum had to go bankrupt.
17:05And then I went on Love Island in 2017, and it changed my life.
17:10It put us in a bit of a different position, because I was able to look after my mum.
17:15Support you from there, yeah.
17:17I get that.
17:17My family rely on me.
17:19So I live my whole life under pressure.
17:22Trying to do something for somebody else instead of for you.
17:25No, I feel like I was trying to just do it for my dad and my mum.
17:29But today I was actually so proud that I actually made this view of the size.
17:33And I was like, OK, you can do it, like, for me, rather than for everyone else.
17:38So that was a bit of a shift.
17:41Which I'm hoping to take outside with me, too.
17:43You are strong physically.
17:45You're fucking very strong for a little maggot.
17:48You are.
17:49And mentally now, we've seen a change.
17:51And it's good.
17:53You're still letting yourself down with that, the way you react to certain things.
17:56You've got to really stay in control of all that now.
17:59Mm-hmm.
17:59Especially going to this next phase, because if you don't, you know what's coming.
18:04You're going to get torn apart.
18:06OK.
18:09God!
18:25Losing my dad, I feel like I didn't grieve.
18:28Because I felt like I couldn't.
18:31Because we had to be strong.
18:33Otherwise, everything was going to fall apart.
18:36Good effort.
18:37Watching my mum have to go through all of that.
18:39Having no money and still managing to make the best out of any situation has just made me so much
18:47stronger.
18:48You're up, OK?
18:49Yeah.
18:50It's good to just refocus and basically highlight your strengths and your weaknesses.
18:55Yeah.
18:55On this course, I hope that I can control my emotions.
18:59I want to do this for me.
19:01And I just want to feel proud of myself.
19:04I just feel like my adrenaline gland has been abused.
19:09Yeah.
19:11My central nervous system is shut.
19:13Yeah.
19:19It's all the fucking boiled eggs and ghosts.
19:41It's like a fucking morgue.
19:44Come to the mess.
19:45Two minutes.
19:46No.
19:50As the recruits are approaching the final stages of the course.
19:54Fucking hell, you put them on so fucking quick.
19:57The DS want to expose them to the harsh realities of life in the Special Forces.
20:04Take your caps off.
20:06Being away, you don't have communication back home.
20:09You always leave wishing, oh, fuck, I'd have said that or had done that.
20:13To that end, we write these death letters to say, look, if it goes wrong, this is what
20:19I want you to know.
20:20So think, seriously, who would you write to?
20:24What would you say to them?
20:25Because this is going to be the last bit of communication they're going to get.
20:28I know it sounds morbid, but this is our world.
20:31This is a reality.
20:32And it's amazing what you fucking come to your head.
20:34All right.
20:35I'm going to give you these.
20:37Go back to your accommodation and write it.
20:41Death letters is something that, it's a real part of the SF world.
20:46What if I go cry right in here?
20:48I know.
20:49I was thinking the exact same thing.
20:52I've actually written a letter.
20:53And there is that moment prior to something going down where you all look at each other.
20:58God.
20:59It's a weird space of silence with everybody's little last piece of sanctuary.
21:04It's emotional writing to your kids.
21:06Yeah.
21:09We're all dealing with a difference.
21:11Some people are just ready to go.
21:12Okay, it's done now.
21:13Some people are just quiet and just going deep in thought of the realities of that letter being handed to
21:19your wife or your children or your family.
21:24And we'll see if it breaks people or if it gives them the push and the motivation to keep going
21:29forward.
21:33Like that half.
21:34Oh.
21:35Oh.
21:36Oh.
21:39Right.
21:42Oh, Ben.
21:43I know.
21:44He's got me that fucker.
21:46Oh.
21:47Hated every fucking moment, huh?
21:49It's horrible.
22:02What did you say for crazy this morning, Danny?
22:06Do lally.
22:06Do lally.
22:07Do you like that?
22:08Yeah.
22:09I'm going to take that one out.
22:10Do lally and ming and ming and ming and ming and ming and you never used ming and I think.
22:17Yeah, it's mad how we have different, you were saying it to your wife.
22:21Yeah.
22:22You're do lally.
22:23I went a bit do lally in there.
22:24Yeah.
22:26Yeah.
22:26How you feeling, Ben?
22:27You okay?
22:28Yeah, I'm alright.
22:30Just a lot going on in here.
22:31Oh, Ben.
22:32What's up?
22:33What's the matter?
22:33No, it's all good.
22:33You're beating yourself up, babe.
22:35Pardon?
22:35What's wrong?
22:38What's wrong?
22:38Just shit going on, Danny, you know?
22:39Oh, Ben.
22:40Fucking hell.
22:41Well, l'm here if you need a chat.
22:43Hmm?
22:44If you need a chat, l'm here.
22:48Oi!
22:49Full kick to the gate.
22:51Alright, let's go.
22:53Let's go.
22:54Well, let's do it.
22:55Do as you can.
23:07You okay, Ben?
23:09You okay?
23:10Yeah.
23:10Okay.
23:11There's so much going on, you know, in my life, personally, in so many different areas.
23:16Yeah.
23:17When you get to this point, it almost takes the fucking lid off the can to there.
23:22And all those, all those emotions just swirl with each other.
23:25Yeah.
23:26I would say my journey into Sibby Street after sport, I've had to get to know me, understand me.
23:33There's been a lot of horrible stuff happening in my life.
23:36And you don't realise what is going to come back and get you a little bit later.
23:42The recruits have been brought to a remote dry riverbed.
23:47Looks like I've weighed my pants.
23:50Who cares?
23:52Where they will face one of the most violent tasks of the course.
23:56Oh, for fuck's sake.
23:58In my head.
24:00Come on, Ben.
24:01You've got this.
24:01Come on, Ben.
24:03Get out of the vehicles.
24:05Get your Bergens.
24:06Get down here.
24:07All right, let's go.
24:08Let's go.
24:08We've got this.
24:10Human emotions are the most powerful thing that we possess, but they're the most difficult
24:16to control.
24:17Come on, then, all the way down here.
24:18We're looking for these recruits to utilise that wealth of emotions, whether it's rage,
24:23fear, abuse, channel it, harness it, win the fight, and then get on with the next mission.
24:32Right, as members of the Special Forces, we have essentially been tasked with conducting extreme violence.
24:41Contrary to popular belief, there is absolutely no place for anger as an emotion on the battlefield,
24:48regardless of how you feel.
24:51It will get you killed.
24:53It will get you killed.
24:53But you're fighting to get back to see your family.
24:55Because if you don't, you will never see them again.
24:59You just channel all that emotion into your aggression, and you have to control it.
25:04to then use on the people that are trying to fucking kill you.
25:08Is that understood?
25:10Yes, sir.
25:10Yes, sir.
25:14The recruits are about to engage in hand-to-hand combat against the Red Man.
25:22Are you fighting or something?
25:24There wouldn't be any fighting.
25:26It's probably...
25:27Hey, are you gay?
25:28Yeah, come here.
25:28I'm going to give a main pull off and nut someone just to...
25:31Oh, I'm not going to nut someone.
25:32No, of course not.
25:34Right, number four.
25:35Ready to take on the Red Man.
25:37Right, get down there, go on.
25:39Is number four.
25:41Danny.
25:41Quick as you can, number four, all the way in!
25:44When it comes to violence, I just can't do it.
25:46I just don't like it.
25:48Follow me.
25:49So for me to stand there and fight, I just don't know how I'd get that in me to do
25:54it.
25:55Get out, get out!
25:56Right, listen in.
25:56You're deep behind enemy lines.
25:58You've just been blew up.
25:59You've lost your patrol.
26:00We've got to fight our way out.
26:01We're going to move round here now.
26:02If you're confronted with aggression and they're wearing red, I want you to attack.
26:06100% aggression.
26:07Do not fucking stop.
26:08They're stopping you getting home to your family.
26:10Let's go.
26:10Let's move.
26:11Come on.
26:12The other breaking point could be when you start thinking about your kids and staff.
26:17Go on, attack!
26:19Let's go!
26:20He's got your kids!
26:21He's got your kids!
26:23Get into it!
26:24Get into it!
26:24Drag him to the floor!
26:26принципе!
26:27Attack!
26:29Attack!
26:29Get into it!
26:30Help me.
26:31He's got your kids!
26:32Helm.
26:33Recruits must channel their aggression
26:42When the DS calls stop they need to instantly regain control
26:48Harder! Harder! Harder! Keep going! Keep going! Keep going! Keep going!
26:54Stop!
27:00Come on over to me Tony. Take a breath now. Take a nice deep breath.
27:06Come back down to planet Earth. How do you feel?
27:09Relieved.
27:10What was going into your head when you was getting to that?
27:13Just like no one's gonna hurt my family.
27:15Fucking right. What would you do if it was real?
27:19You don't want to know.
27:20I fucking do want to know.
27:21Killed him.
27:22Killed him.
27:23Nasty little fucker, didn't you?
27:24A little bit.
27:25Okay, that was good. Good effort. You passed.
27:29She caught number five on me!
27:33Let's go!
27:34Let's go!
27:35Engage as hard as you can! Let's go!
27:38Strike! Strike! Strike!
27:40Horn! Horn! Elbows! Let's go!
27:44The purpose of Redman is to harness anger and aggression.
27:47And apply brutal violence.
27:51Take it down!
27:52Take it down!
27:53Get it down!
27:54Strike it to the floor!
27:56Attack!
27:56We want the recruits to show that they can make rational decisions
27:59whilst under the influence of a spike of adrenaline
28:03that comes when you're engaged in an aggressive act.
28:07Attack!
28:07Point to the ground!
28:08Strike! Get it to the ground!
28:10Get it smashed and point down!
28:11Please get a hold of it!
28:12Get it on top!
28:12If you lose control, best case scenario is you get caught.
28:16Worst case is die.
28:18You cannot afford to be that red person.
28:22Dominic! Dominic!
28:24Keep driving!
28:25Keep driving!
28:26Keep driving!
28:28Stop!
28:34Stop!
28:37Get on over to Chief Instructor.
28:39What was in your mind?
28:40What was driving you?
28:41It just felt good to let out all the anxiety and stress over the last few days, to be honest.
28:46I don't generally have a lot of aggression.
28:49So that to you was a new thing?
28:51Yeah.
28:51How did that feel?
28:53Nice to release that energy or no?
28:55Not really.
28:57No?
28:57No, I don't like aggression.
28:59Alright, you did a good account of yourself.
29:01It was a pass, but you've really got to give it everything you can.
29:04Yes, sir.
29:06Wasn't expecting that.
29:08No.
29:10Felt good though.
29:12To like, just let out a little bit of steam.
29:14Yeah.
29:14Do you know what I mean?
29:15Today's been a day of growth for me, to be fair.
29:22Last to face the red man.
29:24Right, number seven.
29:25Come over here.
29:26Is number seven.
29:28Ben.
29:29Ben is going to annihilate them.
29:30He's just going to run at him, and you'll go fly him.
29:32Yeah.
29:33This is your opportunity to go fucking hell for leather.
29:38Keep it under control, but unleash anything.
29:40Is that understood?
29:41Yes, stuff.
29:41All right.
29:44Go.
29:47I definitely hide my emotion.
29:49You can't number seven.
29:50All the way down.
29:52We could have a death on our hands.
29:53Like any other man would probably suppress some of the darker sides or parts of their mental health that they
30:00should probably express.
30:02Anybody that's wearing red, I want 100% aggression.
30:05Take them fucking down.
30:06They're stopping you getting home to your kids.
30:08Do you understand?
30:09Yes, dad.
30:09Yes, dad.
30:10Let's fucking go.
30:10Come on.
30:11Let's fucking go.
30:12I'd rather not be aggressive.
30:14Being aggressive is something that I'd rather try and talk out of or go nowhere near it.
30:19Get in there, number seven.
30:20Everything you got seven.
30:23Everything you got seven.
30:23Well, if poked, then yeah, I'll throw down.
30:28Get in there.
30:29Everything you got seven.
30:31Fucking take him.
30:32Go.
30:33Take him.
30:35Smash.
30:37Smash!
30:38Yes!
30:38Yes!
30:38Knees!
30:39Knees!
30:39Yes!
30:41Smash!
30:42That's it!
30:44Get in there!
30:46Get in there!
30:47Yes!
30:47Knees!
30:48Knees!
30:49Hold this!
30:52Stop!
30:59Pose yourself.
31:01Can you hear me?
31:03Yes, dad.
31:03All right.
31:04You stopped before I gave you the command.
31:06Was it an issue with your hearing?
31:08Yes, dad.
31:09Do not stop till you get the command.
31:12Okay.
31:12Sorry, dad.
31:12All right?
31:13You must go through it.
31:15It's not just for you.
31:16It's for your brothers-in-arms, too.
31:18Keep that in mind.
31:19Am I understood?
31:20Yes, dad.
31:21Okay.
31:21Good to go.
31:22Pass.
31:23Come to me.
31:26What was in your hands?
31:27What was driving you?
31:29Firstly, I could fucking rugby tackle someone.
31:31Yeah?
31:31I could have done for a while.
31:33Um...
31:34Yeah.
31:34There's a lot of shit going on in there.
31:35Okay.
31:36You felt good about that.
31:37So, it was nice to unleash something.
31:41Good, Ben?
31:44Did you like it?
31:46He didn't, because he fucking hurt him, I think, a little bit, and then he'll be tackled.
31:49No.
31:50I needed that, though.
31:53I did need that.
31:54There's too many things I've been fucking trying to keep the lid on.
31:59I didn't go over the top, to be fair.
32:03Sounds like you did.
32:13It takes a lot of emotion to be aggressive, doesn't it?
32:16It gets to you a little bit.
32:17Yeah.
32:18And it's a bit of a delayed reaction.
32:19Yeah.
32:20Yeah.
32:26Wow.
32:27Damn.
32:29And it was fine.
32:31Day six.
32:32Today was about control.
32:35Task two being the red man.
32:36Number four.
32:38She come round the corner, seeing the red man, and she was off like a rocket.
32:41And it was headbutts, anything and everything.
32:45And she kept going.
32:46To do what she needed to do.
32:48So it was a good post.
32:49Number five.
32:50It wasn't a shining example of warrior spirit, but she did what was asked.
32:56Yeah, I think with both Aussies, it was exactly the same.
32:59I was given the message, and you could see it was being processed.
33:03Mm-hm.
33:03But it didn't flick the switch.
33:05I gave him a basic pass.
33:07Nothing to write home about.
33:08Then last one was number seven.
33:11I thought he actually hurt the red man.
33:12Yeah, I think he did.
33:13He hit him right here in between the pads.
33:17Just a little bit worried about him.
33:18He's really fucking struggling, mentally and emotionally.
33:22I said what was in your head, and I thought he might open up.
33:24There was a lot of dark things in my head.
33:26So maybe we'll have a chat with him, yeah?
33:28Yeah.
33:29Worth a chat.
33:33I thought the name was Matt, not Mac.
33:38Mackenzie.
33:40Spot on.
33:41I've been calling you Matt.
33:43I can't tell.
33:50Motherfucking hell.
33:51He's driving me mad.
33:53Recruit seven!
33:56All the way in, seven.
34:05After his reaction facing the red man...
34:08All right.
34:10The DS want to speak with number seven, Ben.
34:20Sit.
34:32This is just a chance for us to get to know number seven.
34:35Do you feel like you're getting what you came for on the course?
34:38Yeah.
34:39I love the physical stuff.
34:42I've enjoyed every part of it.
34:45I'm struggling.
34:47I've got 40% hearing in both ears.
34:50It's fucking annoying.
34:51I was thinking, you know, maybe this is not the place for me.
34:58Don't second guess yourself.
34:59Don't do our job for us.
35:01Do not take yourself off the course because you think that it's hindrance.
35:05Yeah, just the mental side I've got to get right.
35:08Why? What's up?
35:09The thing that's playing on my mind is my daughter's pacemaker.
35:13She's got up when she gets back.
35:15When I return after the course, my daughter's got up a pacemaker.
35:20And that's what I've been battling with also in the last 18 months.
35:24So, it's been horrendous.
35:27So, yeah, tough writing those letters.
35:31It is tough, but that allows you to go and do what you need to do, knowing that you've got
35:36that.
35:36Yeah.
35:37That's put to bed, you know, worst case scenario, you've said what you needed to say.
35:41Yeah.
35:42Get you thinking about things you probably don't want to think about.
35:45Yeah.
35:46My mind was just sending me to places, which I found really, really tough.
35:53What sort of things were you thinking?
35:55Yeah.
35:56A long time ago, my dad got beaten to death, protecting someone.
36:05How'd that come about?
36:08It was fucking horrible.
36:10It was savage.
36:11I mean, you guys have seen shit.
36:12I mean, for a 21-year-old at that point, it was just where life's so rosy.
36:18You know, you got bitten across.
36:19It was bitten everywhere.
36:21Where was it?
36:22It was in Northampton.
36:24They might have come to a nightclub that my brother and my dad had.
36:28But it wasn't even open.
36:30It was these guys had beef with somebody else.
36:33My dad was a really tough man, to be fair.
36:35But he got severe beating here, and that's what gave him an aneurysm.
36:41What?
36:42And, um, yeah.
36:44That knock-on effect from that, I never really...
36:49I don't know how to handle it at that age.
36:50You don't...
36:52It's kind of what I'm really trying to process now.
36:55Really tough.
36:56Disgusting.
36:57How did you deal with it then?
36:59Played rugby.
37:00Got on that plane to Australia.
37:03Achieved winning the World Cup and becoming the best man in the world.
37:08How long did your professional career last?
37:10Till I was 32.
37:13Which is what?
37:13So another eight years.
37:15And that was it?
37:16That was it.
37:17That's it.
37:18How did it feel?
37:20Scary.
37:21Weren't fit for purpose.
37:23No education, further education.
37:26So, there's...
37:27I fucking do have resentment to it.
37:30There should be something in place to help transition.
37:34Any way you leave the game.
37:35What the fuck am I gonna do now?
37:38It's a fucking dark hole.
37:39Yeah.
37:41Who am I?
37:43Do you know who you are?
37:45Learning that now.
37:47You adapt and roll with it and you...
37:50You take on a new chapter.
37:52Do you look forward to the future?
37:58Yeah, of course.
37:59It's a lot of shit to get through first.
38:02This is a great place to take your mind off the shit.
38:06Whatever that is, you don't know what's coming next.
38:09So the only thing that you can really do properly is be present.
38:13Yeah.
38:14Being here and being present is...
38:17And being a sheep is exactly what I need.
38:20You are gonna be moving into a slightly different phase.
38:25It's gonna be challenging.
38:26You're gonna need to try and keep that psychological resilience,
38:29a bit of robustness about you.
38:32Yeah.
38:34It can do.
38:37You good?
38:38I'm good.
38:39I'm gonna get to the end of this fucking course.
38:42Guard!
38:59What happened to my dad?
39:01Leaves a hole in your life.
39:03On my own at 21.
39:05So I haven't really got many people that I could probably turn to
39:09and ask for advice or help.
39:14He's in a dark earth.
39:15No, no.
39:16Kind of worried about him.
39:18Yeah.
39:19Izzy, my youngest, is having, you know, a pacemaker fitted.
39:26And it's a lot to process.
39:30Depression can sneak up and nip you in the backside if you're not careful.
39:34I can lose myself in this for eight days.
39:37Probably a little bit easier than everyday life.
39:42All right.
39:43Stay motivated.
39:45I need to wake up a part of me that I hadn't...
39:50that I'd put away a long time ago.
40:06Then I'm gonna shower.
40:08I showered yesterday.
40:09Yeah.
40:10That is a crazy thing to say.
40:13Yeah, I showered yesterday.
40:14I sweated all day and I'm not gonna shower tonight.
40:18We did wash our armpits in the sink.
40:20Yeah.
40:21Yeah.
40:22I need a bit of that action.
40:24Yeah, just wash... just wash your top and wash your pits.
40:26Have you washed your tops?
40:28Have you washed your tops?
40:29I didn't like two days.
40:30Please.
40:30You just need to wash your tops.
40:32Wash your chops?
40:38Yeah.
40:39Wash your chops?
40:42Yeah.
40:44Wash your chops?
40:45Yeah.
40:45Yeah.
40:47Wash your chops?
40:49Oh, it's so fucking delirious.
40:51Do-lally.
41:02Fucking hell.
41:04Okay, earlier on I told you about deaf letters.
41:06Yeah.
41:07Yeah?
41:07And how, why we do it and all that sort of stuff.
41:09Not very pleasant, I know.
41:11But now we would like you to read them.
41:14Okay?
41:16Over to you.
41:17It's emotional but there's a reason behind all of it.
41:20Thanks, Saf.
41:21Thank you, Saf.
41:24I don't know I'm going to do it.
41:26Fucking mess.
41:28I'm petrified of doing this.
41:30I'd rather do a climb, though.
41:33When people want to, like, dive deep into your emotions and stuff,
41:37absolutely not.
41:38I mean, I've done a bit of therapy but I ended up lying to my therapist
41:40so I had to stop it.
41:42To Jared, Santi, Summer and Star.
41:45Oh, God, if you are receiving this letter,
41:48I want you to know that I'm no longer here anymore
41:49and my heart breaks writing this
41:51because our family means so much to me.
41:55I can't just read that.
41:56I feel so emotional.
41:58I'm really, really hard on myself,
42:00especially being a mum as well.
42:02To my son, to my perfect baby boy, my firstborn,
42:05and you showed me what true love was.
42:06I will always be there, even if you can't see me.
42:10You always have them like, oh, my God, I'm working too much,
42:12but then if I stay at home too much, I'm like, oh, yeah,
42:14but I actually want to go to work.
42:16So then I'm, like, trying to figure out what the right balance is
42:18on, like, how to be a good mum
42:21and, like, also how to be kind to myself.
42:24My perfect family, always remember I love you all so much
42:27and please do everything you can to enjoy life without me in it.
42:31Love you forever.
42:32Aw.
42:35Good job.
42:36That was hard.
42:38Yeah.
42:41Are you like crying?
42:44You got it.
42:45You got this.
42:46Um, mum, I'm so, so sorry that you were receiving this letter.
42:52You were the most resilient person there is.
42:54After every hard hit, you came back fighting.
42:58You have been my rock and inspiration, mum and dad and best friend.
43:05Me and dad will be waiting for you.
43:07I love you more than you can imagine.
43:08Good night, mum.
43:09Gabby.
43:10Oh, that was so sweet.
43:12Oh, it's lovely.
43:13I hope I never die before my mum.
43:16Neither.
43:17Like, I really hope she never goes through that.
43:24Dear Ella, my wife, my love,
43:26thank you for the unconditional love you have always given me.
43:29Thank you for the sacrifices you've made for me and for us.
43:32All I've ever wanted is for you to be happy and feel loved.
43:35That doesn't change now.
43:37You're gonna make an amazing mother and it breaks my heart
43:39that I won't be able to witness it.
43:41I promise I'll be watching though.
43:43I love you always.
43:44Oh.
43:49Alrighty.
43:51Dear my beautiful boy,
43:53if you get this letter,
43:54know that I will forever love you.
43:57Now I'm no longer with you.
44:02You are my biggest and the best thing that ever happened to me.
44:05I'm sorry I didn't get enough time to watch you grow up.
44:09Into the handsome, sweet and kind man I know you will be.
44:15Always be brave,
44:17but don't hold your emotions in because that takes strength.
44:21If you miss me,
44:23always give your bunny a big hug because before you were born,
44:27I filled it with a lifetime worth of hugs.
44:29I love you so, so much.
44:31Love, Mum.
44:31Aww.
44:33That's amazing.
44:35Well, this is to one of my daughters,
44:38Isabel,
44:39because I've written three.
44:41To Izzy,
44:42you are such a brave girl
44:44and have been so mature since finding out about your heart problem.
44:48You have been beyond amazing
44:50deciding what treatments you want
44:52and pacemaker you would...would prefer.
44:56You got this bed.
44:57You got this bed.
45:01Sorry.
45:02The situation with Izzy at the moment,
45:04how do you deal with it?
45:06You'd be strong for your daughter.
45:07You have to be their pillar of strength.
45:10Look after yourself.
45:12Look after your sisters.
45:13It's important you have each other's backs.
45:18And be there for each other.
45:21And that's when the self-neglect will come in
45:23because you prioritise other things over yourself.
45:26I'll be...
45:29I'll be watching you back from above with Grandad
45:32having a cup of tea.
45:34Laugh out loud.
45:38Remember you are always enough.
45:40Keep on being amazing.
45:42Love, Dad.
45:43Aww.
45:44Ben, that was so nice.
45:46Beautiful, Ben.
45:47Done it, you've done it.
45:47On this course, it's about improving my mental health.
45:51My purpose is to be there for my children
45:54and them for always have happy memories of their dad
45:57just like I do with mine.
46:00The reality is, is that we should tell them that every day anyway.
46:04Or go home and tell them.
46:05Yeah.
46:06Sometimes we don't probably nail home that message enough.
46:08Yeah.
46:13Next time...
46:14Can we just stand there and look up my boobs?
46:16Yeah.
46:17With all my hair wrinkles.
46:18They're lovely.
46:19Even as someone that's passed selection...
46:21Get off!
46:22I look back at it and I'm like,
46:24how the fuck did we do it?
46:25There's got to be a bit of a say no masochist inside you.
46:27This is fucking perfect for ambush.
46:29I'm looking for the recruit that can demonstrate
46:32that same inner fight.
46:35I can't fucking get up here.
46:54I'm looking for the recruiters that I do with.
46:56By the way, yeah, or .
47:06I'm thinking.
47:08You're going
47:09White Julian in brand name.
Comments