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00:03I
00:08Like this speed this process up in a little bit. Oh, no, he's off now. Look he's off now
00:21So dad the final leg the final push and we've been through it all right. We've had some high points
00:28some low points
00:30You know, we've discovered a lot about ourself about each other now. It was time for some luxury
00:34I'm glad we had the luxury at the end. So this wealth
00:38You know, what does it mean?
00:40It's many things isn't it health is wealth health is wealth happiness is wealth
00:44Because you can be the richest in the world but the most miserable what are you gonna do?
00:49I've heard I've heard me benzo
00:51I've heard being a bentley
00:52I can't believe you've got tellies in the back of your car. I would have thought you had a telly
00:59in your car
01:06Oh
01:07Last summer I took my first born on an unforgettable dad thought a road trip
01:13We are in a country where the most sacred of all animals is a donkey
01:20I realized martini had a few gaps to fill in our general knowledge
01:23We know about the pipe. What is it? What does he do?
01:26I don't know what the pipe does. What does the pipe do?
01:28People say italy has the best culture and cuisine in the world
01:31I figured it was the place to get stuck in
01:34To italy cheers
01:36Oh my god
01:37I don't want to get shot in my heart
01:39It's a goal johnny hole basil mojito
01:41So I'm in a mouthful of pesto
01:43Oh
01:46Be very rare that I would be proud that you would be eating sperm
01:50To learn a bit
01:52That is a penis
01:53It's a mushroom
01:54I've seen some mad stuff in my time
01:56But I've never seen cocks on the ceiling
01:58You know what it makes me want to do
02:00Oh
02:03And see what the dyers make of all this travel caper
02:07I can't believe you're in a skirt
02:08Absolutely
02:09Absolutely
02:10You're not an apple kind of guy
02:12Yeah
02:12I am absolutely shitting myself
02:24It's the last leg on the dyers italian tour
02:28And we're driving through lombardi on our way to milan
02:32A city renowned for designer elegance and style
02:37It's scary isn't it with money because that money obviously does
02:40Give you what you want it can make you happy but it's not everything
02:44No, it makes you happy for an hour
02:46I come from a long line of poverty
02:48Okay, which i'm very proud of you know
02:50I never never knew what money was
02:51When me old man off when i was nine but i had a very loving mother so
02:55That was what it was about for me
02:57Never having money everyone having to chip in together to look after each other
03:00You know single parent families all that sort of stuff
03:02Yeah
03:02And now big house nice motors
03:0670 grand holidays
03:07White tribe sunday dinners
03:09I suppose what i've done is i've broke the mold with my own children
03:13I've got out of the council estate i've earned money
03:15I'm caked as you'd say so my children have no concept of money
03:19Well where you live in essex like it is very you know daddy drops me to school
03:23It's not really you know it's door to door
03:25That is essex
03:26And i'm so grateful for the opportunities i've had for me
03:29You've crafted a career out yourself
03:30Absolutely but before that i was just working in a pub
03:33I was skinner than ever
03:34You went on one love island
03:35That wasn't i don't know how
03:36And then you became richer than me
03:38Didn't
03:38For a bit
03:39For a bit
03:40I'm still paying your phone bill by the way
03:41I'll probably owe you a lot
03:43Yeah
03:46Milan's the perfect city to explore the benefits of being Keiko Beiko
03:51It's a town full of places good at parting people from their hard-earned readies
03:56Places like brera an upscale shopping district in old milan
04:02Lovely little street innit
04:04It really really is
04:05I like that in here
04:06Brera's famous for boutique fashion stores and high-end antique shops
04:11And truth is nothing tempts me more when i'm shopping than tat with a bit of history
04:16Ah dan
04:18You know i'm having a bit of a midlife crisis
04:20In a sense i've started to get into antiques
04:22You've been into antiques forever
04:23No i like antiques roadshow but this is a wonderful place
04:28Wow i've booked us a visit to a strictly appointment only gaff
04:33Ah look at this man here what a handsome man
04:36Thank you my name's danny
04:38Your angelo let's see if i can be seduced into spending big on a souvenir of milan
04:43i've dragged her to a
04:47Italian antique shop and uh you don't try not to touch
04:51Are they real yes that real taxidermy
04:53That's a budgie isn't it yes a budgie little budgie in there wow
04:57What do they stuff them with uh i think it's just a bit of straw i think
05:01What a what a what an amazing place you've got here
05:04We have more space downstairs take me there
05:07Oh it's like a james bond lair and i love it
05:13Very careful thanks i know that you're
05:15It's the little bit clumsy sometimes
05:18I mean this little chair here
05:20Yeah that that is a dentist chair
05:22It's a dentist chair
05:24It looks horrible like that's scary
05:25It's american from early 1900s
05:28Out of interest how much would a chair like that be
05:30It's around four thousand something
05:33Four thousand four grand yeah
05:35I mean who would buy that
05:36Uh this is a nutty piece what is what's going on here
05:40It's an anatomical model yeah from germany
05:43Is it oh it's german it's a german piece yes
05:46That's what you do on ebay he buys like antiques
05:49Yeah don't talk about e-bags yeah this looks like uh drugs
05:55Antiques do something to me i don't know why you know if i've been on a three-day bender
06:00Uh then i would watch antiques roadshow on a come down
06:03Shit yeah and it would settle me nerves a little bit you know
06:07It's a lie there watching the antiques roadshow comforted me and my anxiety and the horrors that you get you
06:13know when you haven't slept for three days
06:15Yeah yeah yeah
06:15A little bit oh
06:17You watch some old people yeah yeah you know talking about a fucking grandfather clock and you go the world's
06:22all right
06:23This is the gap through here
06:25Is that that looks like a vagina where
06:27Yes
06:28Oh it is a vagina
06:28It's just old but it's very very rare it's uh it's uh uterus uh
06:33It's an uterus
06:34Wow
06:35Anatomical model um
06:37The big old vagina don't they're 1900 it's 120 years old you can move every single part
06:43Can i touch it or not if it's been sold
06:46If you want to touch your vagina touch your vagina then you know if that's how you roll it
06:49Wow that's so clever
06:50And it is sold to be careful
06:52How much did that go for
06:553,400 something like that
06:57Three and a half bags
06:58Well it looks mad inside the vagina
07:01It's odd isn't it
07:02It doesn't look it's
07:03Upside down it should be in the other way
07:05It doesn't look like that
07:06Yes
07:08You know the big old uh
07:11Vagina
07:12Massive vagina
07:13Huge which a geezer bolt an old geezer
07:16Yeah
07:16Perhaps he's a widower
07:18No you're not going to use that
07:19People use blow up dolls darling
07:21You're going to blow a bird up right
07:22Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
07:23And then have a roll about a bit
07:24You're going to you know dip your Hampton into a
07:27You know an antique fucking vagina
07:29You know what that would probably yeah be better for you mentally than a blow up doll from amazon
07:35Although i think most vaginas are priceless
07:37Wow and this obviously uh
07:39Those are
07:40Well this looks like uh
07:41Yeah
07:42Yeah
07:43Those are all the mushrooms
07:44These are made from paper mache
07:47But that is a penis isn't it
07:49It's a mushroom
07:51But a dirty mind haven't you
07:52I've noticed
07:52That is a penis
07:53It's a mushroom
07:54It's not a cop
07:55A mushroom penis
07:56They were used in the pharmacy to show which one was the
08:01Eatable and which one was poison
08:03I suppose that one's
08:04It's a very eatable isn't it
08:06Yes
08:07As lovely as they are i'm not in the market for mummified fish
08:10Porcelain vaginas or even a cock-shaped fungus
08:15If i'm going to spend it needs to be on something i want to fondle and use every day
08:19What is that an ashtray
08:21A little dog on it
08:23You like that don't you
08:24That's amazing
08:25It's a painted the bronze
08:27Okay
08:28From uh
08:291890 1900s
08:30I love it
08:31It's a v in it
08:32But that that will sit in my office then
08:34Perfect for a la-di-da
08:36Which means cigar
08:40Just love the smell of old wood
08:43You know
08:45Proper bit of gear that is
08:46How much for the ashtray
08:49Around 800
08:50900
08:50Oh okay
08:51I uh
08:52Might invest in it
08:53You're going to spend a grand on an ashtray
08:55Well not a grand because he said it was 700 quid
08:57It's 800
08:57Why have you said that
08:59It was 800
08:59I'm trying to negotiate with the man i said it was seven
09:02You've reminded him that it was eight
09:04Now why would you
09:04Yeah
09:05Yeah
09:05You've made a mistake there haven't you yeah
09:08700
09:08So 700
09:10For the ashtray what do you think
09:12Okay
09:12You're a very very kind man
09:14Because obviously i love ashtrays
09:15And i'm just going to flick ash in it
09:18Yeah
09:18Yeah lovely
09:24It's our final week in italy and dad's brought us to milan
09:28He wants us to figure out if we need pots of money to feel rich and live our best life
09:34This is very much you isn't it milan
09:36i love milan
09:38To see if dan and i are suckers for luxury i've decided this leg of our trip should be no
09:44expense spared
09:45i've booked us a five-star hotel in the heart of the city and want us both to enjoy the
09:50treats it has to offer
09:52i thought that you might want a facial oh i love a facial a gold facial right you just know
09:58how to treat me we're going to go in this
10:00After you my little sweet one let's go
10:04What a gaff this is
10:09From our danny a massage and a facial is a treat for me it's a pre-lunch visit to the
10:15hotel's very expensive bar
10:18Buongiorno
10:19Buongiorno
10:19You know what i love a trio of flamingos already i'm excited
10:26What a place it smells in here of
10:30Arabs pockets
10:32I don't even know what that means
10:35My daughter she's gone off to have a facial she's having gold on her face okay
10:39I like to sit at bars on my own i want to try some of your most
10:45Expensive luxury luxury wealth something i can uh
10:49You are in the right place listen i'm in your hands yes
10:52Very clean well pedicured hands and americano to start please give it to me please give it to me
10:58I always find it's nice to get off your nut in a place like this you know better than work
11:03in man's club
11:04Despite the name and americanos as italian as can be equal measures campari and vermuth
11:10Et voilà cheers and topped up with soda
11:16i love that um you get um big tips sorry i'm goblin that's the peasant in me um i was
11:23brought up
11:25on pints of lager pork scratchings okay in a working man's club which i love i love what i'm
11:31about you know there's an old pool table over there people playing pool sometimes people smashing each
11:35other over the head with a poll queue but you know this okay east london life how much is that
11:40is a 20 euro oh is that oh i thought it was going to be a lot more i would
11:45i would give you 50.
11:46okay so i think you made a mistake there ain't you in truth it would cost about a euro if
11:50you
11:50made it at home but a nice ambience and master mixologist pushes the price up a bit
11:56i will have another one now let's have a negroni let's have a negroni the negroni's the strong
12:05stuff same as an americano but this time gin instead of soda you know if you think about gin yeah
12:11the
12:12drink of prostitutes you know and now it's such a delicacy the negroni for you thank you so much
12:18while dad works on his expensive hangover i'm having my first brush with a 24 carat beauty
12:24treatment a face mask that includes real gold leaf i've had a really long trip actually really
12:33yeah i've been traveling all over italy with my dad oh we've climbed volcanoes very nice i bet some
12:42horrible things but it's nice to sort of save the best till last i want to go home and and
12:49look like
12:49a new woman just for a day or two you know is it fine the temperature beautiful can you buy
12:59this
13:00stuff the little gold fast thing can you buy it of course so you can enjoy the treatment at your
13:07home
13:08in the bath maybe yeah with a glass of wine i did notice there was a bottle of the louis
13:16the ninth
13:16yes but we're talking about the best cognac in the world i know it's yeah cool and how much would
13:21a
13:21bottle of louis the ninth be more or less 10 000 euro this is really really really expensive
13:29i feel blessed that i can live both worlds yeah not many people have had the luxury of being really
13:34poor
13:34like me and really rich you know i've been rich skin rich skin so i can flip between the two
13:40and
13:40appreciate and appreciate i like you know cheap ship things but also like really expensive things
13:45you would always pay for everyone's chinese but you're also not a flash bastard no although i do
13:50drive a bentley okay would you like a glass of champagne oh go on then i am on holiday thank
14:00you so much
14:02cheers i wish you could have one with me cheers thank you
14:08like the spas and that kind of vibe is very me but i don't get to do that much at
14:13home like
14:14my daily life is really boring at home like i spend most of my time in morrison's i don't know
14:19why
14:20but i'm always in morrison's love it in there i really love it in there they've got a really good
14:25fish counter i've learned a lot about myself on this journey okay and i've realized actually i'm quite
14:32a man who loves luxury okay i could suck on this all day okay until i'm thrown out
14:39very well very well very well very well very well very well very well very well very well
14:49dad's day of spending big has only just started he says we're headed for posh eats tonight and he
14:55wants us both looking as elegant as the melanese i mean look for instance you see this geezer here
15:00look at how fashionable you look amazing from head to toe you look incredible and this is a normal day
15:07for
15:07you it's got your smoochie loafers on smoochie means gucci i feel slightly embarrassed about my loafers
15:13because i'll pull off a loaf of better than you yeah my little george of asda ones quite a super
15:17loafer
15:18such a commanding dad anyway mwah ciao ciao ciao he's so trendy so uh ah it's our way
15:27this is a mad place we'd love to experiment i would like you darling to try something like this oh
15:35that's
15:35cute i like that dress i think i want that for you please give it to me darling a denim
15:40skirt a denim
15:45there we go i can't believe you're in a skirt right so uh what do you reckon be straight with
15:52me
15:52because awful no not for you i do like the place and i do like the top yeah but you
15:57don't think i
15:58should wear a skirt i think all men can wear skirts i think i'm in my land i've got to
16:00embrace it and i
16:01think that uh uh this is a bit of me let's go and have a bit of grub yeah i
16:07like them shoes though
16:08i'm starving i'm they look nice of a little skinny jean what so you don't like the skirt no burn
16:15it
16:15sexist milan has 15 michelin-starred restaurants none of them cheap but i'm going one step further
16:26i've asked chef daniel balud to treat us to a curated taster menu experience
16:35well i will say it will be easy to have a piss yeah i was going to say that to
16:38you i could you
16:39could have a sit down wait no i could piss now you know what i mean and you wouldn't know
16:43that i'm
16:44pissing yeah so welcome to danny rest okay wonderful did we just uh okay thank you
16:52it's hard to sit down in a skirt i've just realized actually how are you boys all good
16:57hello proper geezer in the ass uh is this our man this is yours yes absolutely daniel daniel and
17:05daniel and daniel and daniel thank you so much daniel thank you for having us how are you oh very
17:11excited about this so daniel we are your canvas okay paint on us i'm ready give it to me daniel
17:21doesn't seem to matter how posh the food place is in italy that looks like a mushroom bread she loves
17:26bread she does first thing served is always the bread what is it yes it can't be it can't be
17:32a cup
17:32of tea i've not had a cup of tea in about a month no so here you have a sea
17:38bass bro and then i add
17:41almond milk at the end wow it's just to to start your dinner amazing you're gonna you're gonna oh okay
17:49i'll have a drop first i'll have a drop first i was gonna dip me uh my mushroom bread in
17:52it but wow
17:56mamma mia that is just a cup full of goodness isn't it full of vitamins i'm gonna dip this in
18:02they are scientists what a bit of chef i get really happy when i make a toad in the aisle
18:10oh wow here we go oh wow is that an egg so here you have an egg but the white
18:18part is on top
18:19yorks is down flipped it you have spaghetti of squid
18:25and at the end fried rice spaghetti enjoy guys thank you so much so it's like a fried egg
18:31it's an egg basically there is like a little spaghetti thing in my egg it's
18:40i don't know if i like it you don't like it i feel bad to not like it what do
18:45you think
18:46i love it no do you know what it is explain i watched a squid take its last breath
18:55okay and ever since then i've just been funny around it but it was beautiful no water it's
19:01just the squid but that's i'm sorry i'm not being rude don't worry don't worry
19:08no we are i'm a prick i'm an absolute prick i'm that girlfriend that goes around her boyfriend's
19:14house and can't eat their dinners ready oh yes daniel what are you doing oh this is a vegetable soup
19:22a traditional minestrone but vegetable you can find the texture al dente ah see i'm used to
19:30minestrone soup out of a can this is the thing about me because i am a peasant yeah i will
19:36eat
19:36shite but also like a wagyu beef burger yeah i remember i bought some wagyu beef once in a really
19:41expensive restaurant and beef was so expensive you got a certificate from what the car was
19:47and i do apologize to any vegans watching but oh my fucking god i licked the blood off that plate
19:56good for your blood but you also do like a triple big mac meal hence the a cups
20:05do you eat the veg yes you eat the veg it's been a stroney soup you lunatic is that lemon
20:11that's lemon right so now we're doing our bit for the vegetarians and the vegans they're so good
20:16it's so i want the jug this is my favorite thing and it's vegan what do you say about me
20:21you're
20:22never going to be vegan well i'm sitting here in a skirt so
20:30the day of indulgence in milan has given dad and me a taste of the good life now we're driving
20:35to a
20:35place he says he's famous for a more back to basics approach but first he needs to sort out his
20:42hangover
20:45i want a big mac i feel disgusting today and so i need to eat mcdonald's and self-love yeah
20:51that's
20:52gonna make you feel much better yeah hello can i get uh what do you fancy can you get me
20:56some chicken
20:57chicken nuggets six can i get six chicken nuggets cheeseburger uh two cheeseburgers and a coke i need
21:05a large coke and a large big mac meal a large coke as well please loads of ice my parlance
21:12chips with
21:12cheese and bacon on them look at them chips with cheese and but can i get some chips with cheese
21:17and bacon on it as well if that's what that is chili cheese fries another cheese
21:21no they love it larisha fries larisha fries with cheese and bacon okay we're excited about all
21:28this good is that it all but it does not look like the advert oh dad all your big macs
21:36fell out where
21:36they put it what are they done they do it with the burger do you want a nugget yeah i'll
21:42have a
21:42fucking nugget yes yes you only had one dip though because i don't like to share on the top
21:49so so you're not going to dip that again no i can't because it's my ketchup bollocks no
21:54my fucking testicles technically you are me i'm reckoning our souls could do with a bit of
22:02cleansing after that i want dan to experience another way of living entirely where having dough
22:07isn't important so our next stop is a place where spiritual wealth is the main currency a community
22:14called the dam and her federation in the foothills of the alps you've heard about this place haven't
22:22you i have heard about this place it's a very spiritual place very different way of living isn't
22:28it we don't know what we're walking into this is the thing it's a place that was created by its
22:31founders who in the 70s i believe they went into the alps and they dug out holes right chambers
22:37it's terrible to think who comes up with them ideas you know like let's go away and i'll make our
22:43own life a completely different life people that are pissed off with society and i've had enough of
22:47a hippie life i guess listen i'm down with hippies absolutely i love the energy that they bring i love
22:53what they stand for positive we might walk out completely new people yeah
23:04the 600 people who live at dam and her have renounced all material possessions they strive for
23:12spiritual wealth and happiness by being at one with the earth and nature we're at dam and her you've
23:18never been somewhere like this no no same and i'm very excited we're going to meet formica okay and uh
23:23she's going to show us around ah oh formica oh yes look at this wonderful face it's a kind face
23:31we
23:31need some kindness in our lives oh i'm danny yeah danny welcome in damon this is my daughter danny
23:38you look beautiful wow she is stunning formica what is this place so this is the place where everything
23:48has started 48 years ago when damon has been founded by a little bunch of people and then we
23:56became hundreds people living together damon is a federation of spiritual communities okay and this
24:03is a place exactly just here what we call the open temple and so this you live here yes i
24:11have lived here
24:11for for now 39 years wow so formica can you please show us around this wonderful wonderful hippie gaff
24:23oh yeah this is the opening time exactly it looks beautiful at night time yes
24:30oh that crystal oh my god this is a big one it's a huge crystal what does it mean this
24:36crystal what is
24:37it this crystal represents the fire within all of us and also the element that create life we are very
24:44respectful of life expressing every different form of the plant world the animal world so this is why we
24:51adopt animal and plant snake for example my name is ant formica you're an ant i'm an ant i represent
24:58the
24:59i did live with ants didn't i dad in my last house oh my god remember that yeah no she
25:03did have some
25:04issues events really bad they kept getting in and they was running around on the floor that was
25:09really bad i do apologize that she did kill a few few of your cousins i forgive you uh but
25:15uh can we have
25:16animal names i love an elephant so she said you want to be elephant yeah i think you know what
25:22i'm gonna be
25:24beaver beaver beaver it's so beautiful thank you very much i do love baby and uh they've been a you
25:32know something that i'm very intrigued with be a good children's book the elephant the beaver and the
25:36ant yeah that'd be a really good book the community here believe humans and the natural world can exist
25:42as one that different species can even talk to each other they claim to have developed a way of
25:49communicating with the plant world which to me sounds like a load of bollocks lizard hello welcome
25:57oh thank you for having us i'm uh i'm beaver this is elephant you turned up and it was all
26:03animals
26:03yeah yeah you know you went for elephant i did elephants are beautiful yeah lovely and i went for beaver
26:11because uh what i like them yeah you know i think they're very attractive what you're disgusting
26:18why am i disgusted i know what you're doing what beavers are animals darling what do beavers look like
26:23animals hairy and let's have a look at them they're very wet as well you are vile beaver animals they're
26:29lovely little things you know you've got to be careful when you type in they're massive
26:33they're gorgeous aren't they massive babies some of them are quite small tucked in this is so very
26:43beautiful here tranquil very calm actually it's beautiful we've been on a very crazy trip around
26:49italy okay we needed some calmness yes in our life i was wondering what we're doing here what is this
26:56area
26:56so what you are doing here is to listen to music of plants as you know trees and plants are
27:04all
27:04intelligent beings yes in that manner we developed a way to give them a voice we developed a little
27:11technology which is an instrument receiving the impulse from the plant by plugging a leaf on one side
27:20inside it's a wooden ipod it's it's attached to a leaf to a leaf and to the roots by the
27:26other
27:26electrode oh wow so switch on wait is that the leaf making that noise well it is the tree yes
27:36it's the tree doing that the tree is singing is making music wait the tree is doing that yes
27:42yeah so that's not that's not touch it don't try not you can touch it no but obviously didn't
27:47interfere with the tree you know so the tree is singing yes is that even possible to do that
27:52what are you saying you don't believe lizard no i don't believe i just i can't get well this is
27:55giving you information if i plug up the tree of course no more sound okay god wow so if i
28:07do that at
28:08home will it work yes it would work can you imagine us when we get home and we start plugging
28:15things
28:15into the tree i won't have a tree rave you can listen to a concert i would love that we
28:21will interact
28:22with the tree by playing music together with him this can sit down you can sit here i'm here
28:27yeah and i invite andrena to play the violin for you hello hello lovely to meet you andrea valsby
28:38wildby wildby i'm beaver this is elephant elephant amazing news wow she's a musician and she will
28:47improvise playing with a tree so beautiful life can be chaotic whereas like here it's not like that
29:09it's just like chill out you know listening to music and i feel like at home your life is always
29:16on fast forward whereas i feel like when you're away you're away from all that so you have more
29:22time with your faults your feelings like what's important i feel like that's always when you go
29:26away though you always like sometimes go home and feel a bit like different in yourself and then
29:30it goes back to putting your dishwasher on and doing the washing wow
29:43you clap the tree as well that was absolutely beautiful it really really was that's moved me
29:47in ways i didn't know i could be moved i don't think i've ever been this close to nature actually
29:52you know that when people come to like retreats and stuff i get it you know that when people
29:56like have had enough of their life it's chaos it's busy i feel like i want to get naked and
30:09then
30:09be naked i just think it's a beautiful thing they could you know they say about people tree huggers
30:14i understand yeah i get it may i thank you so much thank you very much well very very talented
30:21woman
30:21wow thank you thank you thank you feel really zen i do actually i feel very calm
30:29damonhur is famous for its labyrinth complex of decorated caves known as the temples of humankind
30:36few visitors are allowed inside but i've managed to get me and dan a little guided tour
30:42hi nice to meet you i'm um beaver beaver this is elephant that is bad this is an animal yeah
30:53it's
30:53the snow leopard is the russian kazakh name of the name that's a cold one you're a russian snow leopard
30:59exactly this is amazing so this is the temple huh yeah this is the entrance of the temples wow
31:06please just uh take us yeah let's please begin no but no beavers on the walls no beavers oh my
31:14god
31:14holy smokes who built these they found us wow the creation of the caves began over 40 years ago
31:22the community is encouraged to express their emotions and connect with nature through the artwork on the
31:29walls ah we've arrived dan oh wow we have arrived in the temple it's like a disney movie wow
31:38this is a holy space for the believers at damonhur the place they come for self-reflection and to
31:44meditate could this be paradise dan yes you know when you die and you see the light
31:51imagine walking into this there's so much going on and here every single detail shape color have meanings
32:00these people on the walls those are portraits real people yes yeah yeah every time the paintings talk
32:07about human beings we use real faces looks like janet street porter made her way in as well
32:12yeah you wouldn't know her she's a she's a loose woman this one looks like mark noble no it does
32:18look
32:18like mark noble you heard of west ham united they're a football team they're the greatest football team
32:23on the planet oh uh and this uh looks like our old captain he's a doppelganger it's a doppelganger
32:30maybe barry says there are nine temples in total each with a different spiritual theme
32:37no question these fellas love a paintbrush though some are a little better at it than others look at
32:44this place it really is just a house of art this place is beautiful i mean i never would have
32:54thought this existed painting walls and ceilings and this is this is something that will never be
32:59finished by the way i mean look at the front of the house but you don't even think that when
33:03you go under
33:04no but i'm gonna i don't know how big it is i'm gonna have a chat with mommy see if
33:07i can do this
33:08to the fun oh no i don't know why not you've just had it all done
33:17wow the whole of metals dedicated to time and transformation i've seen some mad stuff in my time
33:26but i've never seen cocks on the ceiling well what does it represent well in this case they represent the
33:32virtues well there's another one over there i feel like i'm gonna be tea bagged constantly there's
33:42nothing wrong with being tea bagged by the way i'm not talking about tea bagging wondering where's
33:48the female form because there's a pair of bangers over there yeah there's uh there is a beaver finally
33:57there is something for everybody so if you like you can also take a moment of meditation i would love
34:06that oh we sit on them yeah yeah yeah oh amazing
34:20do as you try i can't cross my legs why not because me dress i can't actually cross my legs
34:27because okay you don't have to cross your legs for meditation actually you can sit just be comfortable
34:31and what i find with meditation i like to open the palms of my hand so that uh i have
34:38a pathway to god
34:40you know i'm not comfortable we need to get comfortable but you can't
34:46i can't what's the matter i can't lean on the wall
34:50let me dress it's all right maybe i'm not dressed the entire yeah you're not going to enjoy this
34:56meditation i just thought i let you know i don't want to enjoy it no you can't because you need
34:59to be
34:59comfortable i understand why you can't be comfortable you should have wore your trousers
35:03suit today you know i tried to get you into the meditation i think i did it in the wrong
35:10environment i was very uncomfortable i've never seen you look so uncomfortable because i had a mini
35:15dress on you did the complete opposite to what meditation is letting it all go yeah letting all
35:21those faults and feelings i was just thinking of my vagina the whole time how can i relax when that's
35:26on
35:26the brain yeah it's weird you speak about your video well i was thinking it was going to come
35:30out of the dress what do you mean come out well because you had no drawers on the dress it
35:34was
35:34just all a little bit yeah you didn't want your flange anyway yeah
35:42you just concentrate on your breath yeah just breathe in
35:49breathe out and that's all you think about what makes it easier then is if you say one as you
35:58breathe
35:59in one and then two as you breathe out two that's all you think about and then you're meditating all
36:06right
36:06you don't need to go to some crazy place well there we are in a crazy place you just need
36:12to concentrate on
36:13your breath and when you're only concentrating on your breath you're meditating yeah oh is that what
36:18meditation is that's all it is you're not thinking about anything else other than one and two just in
36:27and all those thoughts and feelings you let them pass over you like clouds
36:47is it yeah did you feel like because your idea of meditation is to forget about
36:55everything me nap bites all use for your nap bites you will learn this is the start of your
37:01meditational journey this is so the meditation didn't work out for you it was the wrong environment
37:06i i will persist with this no i'm gonna get there i know i will i know i will gift
37:11we give to ourselves
37:11to calm the down it's something i really really really want to do and that's all it is turning
37:16the noises down and the fact that i want to do it means i will one just don't want to
37:19do it surrounded
37:19by cocks no do you think you could give everything up everything that that we feel not your kids
37:26obviously not your love materialistic stuff you can see why people just let all that go all the
37:32stuff that doesn't really matter because what what does matter is about how you're feeling
37:37your health you know who you have around you you know what i love more than anything
37:43that we're having a deep conversation in a ceiling of cocks
37:53what i will say is is you think about these places these these communities you think they're
37:58loons that they're not they're actually they're they're they're incredibly intelligent people
38:02really nice and they don't really want for much maybe we should move to the temple yeah bring our
38:07families here although i don't think they're ready for your mum
38:17me and dad are on the last leg of our italian trip we're exploring the idea of wealth trying to
38:24decide if lots of money brings us happiness for our last day of travel dad's arranged a serious upgrade
38:31this darling is five million pounds worth of helicopter oh wow we're flying 50 miles from
38:38milan to the italian playground of the rich and famous lake como this is the highest you're ever
38:44going to go to get to lake como that is what you call clamor this is what proper a-list
38:50mob take
38:50your george clooney richard branson i'm excited we've had a nutty trip darling yeah i've still
38:55send it on a high go on have you got keiko baker
39:01my god i'm scared i'm scared
39:06let's be beautiful lake como ain't it i mean we really have ended our trip in style haven't we
39:12we've gone from climbing volcanoes yes eating tuna sperm yes being in a helicopter and they're like
39:18coma what a journey it's been good summery actually we've earned this darling we've earned it we have
39:24earned it feel like a cockney superman i wonder if any uh rock stars are up here a bit pissed
39:31and they've
39:31had to piss out a window no i think i would have back in the day no you wouldn't oh
39:35i'd have got
39:36my winkle out but you gotta go you gotta go darling i have spewed out of a car window before
39:42the lake como is very expensive isn't it oh it's one of the most expensive places in the world
39:47darling really and it cakes maybe i'm gonna wait for a living whoo
40:00homo you are fucking ready for the double d's
40:09lake como's 29 miles of pure glamour surrounded by the homes of a-listers and the mega rich
40:17after a tough month on the road i'm right in the mood to get all cluny for the day
40:22our helicopter rides followed by an exclusive boat trip across the lake oh wow bonjour no
40:30this is so nice welcome on board thank you very much
40:38we've traveled here a little bit of land
40:42and now we're on the sea i hate the sea actually it's uh it's a lake this is like the
40:47best boat
40:47i've ever been through james bond isn't it you know it's uh we're quite low aren't we yeah i love
40:52it like a speed boat i love it i can't believe how beautiful lake como is i mean it's just
40:58pure
40:58beauty isn't it so scenic isn't it it's what life's very honeymoony isn't it a bit weird
41:04i'm not me and you in that case i'm saying this is the place where i'd want to go my
41:08honey
41:08yeah i suppose it is really well i know a lot of people have been married here you know how
41:13much
41:13it cost them a bomb by the way can you imagine how much it would cost but does money matter
41:17when it
41:17comes to a beautiful day i think that's the only day where you think all right it cost me a
41:21fortune but
41:21it's a day i'll remember forever so when you get married you're thinking here then or
41:26i hope not here because i gotta pay for it yeah you've got to pay for the dress especially
41:31so i'll speak at a nice registry office in romford
41:35so just uh proving that that wealth you know how does it smell dad it smells a bit fishy
41:46i just feel like i'm in a dream
41:54many dads have a selfie oh for fuck's sake you and your
41:58here we go
42:04you are so red red nose fucking rudolph running around
42:13i love it you love it happy yeah good
42:18we've really worked hard for this yeah you know i think we've experienced a lot of italy
42:23and to wind down here i feel very grateful i'm very lucky for it yeah so do i dad
42:30there's also apartment it cannot wait to get home though as well yeah you know i'm not overdue
42:35in the loop i can't wait to munch on a ruby i mean i like indian but i don't love
42:40it as much as you do
42:41you always got to prepare yourself for your indian when you have a vindaloo as well you put the
42:44cars you roll in the fridge why would you put yourself through that the thing is if it doesn't
42:49give you the shits but how hot it is going in is how hot it is coming out hence why
42:54you need to just dab
42:55your ring piece oh we're arriving baby our next destination our final destination i've got to take a boat with
43:06that
43:14amazing ah you're all right you're at your head again ain't you i do apologize for my clumsy
43:20don't this is i'll just keep falling over oh that's it baby that's our last boat on the trip
43:25to complete our day of holidaying like an oligarch i've got us access to the stunning 19th
43:31century gaff gardini del villa a special spot to round off our week of luxury and the dyers month-long
43:40tour of italy lovely little setup yep uh did it all myself it's beautiful past the uh champers darling
43:49i'll pour us a glass of bubbly kids older that before we uh carry on we should do this now
43:56because
43:57nothing worse than warm caviar of course i've got to try something do something else i mean is
44:02there anything good in caveat i'm gonna leave this to you no no i'm afraid you will be having
44:06some of this darling on our last day our last moment do you swallow it do you chew it what
44:10is it
44:10you swallow it you put it in your mouth do you chew then swallow listen you'll be pleasantly surprised
44:14okay we're in como we're living like the prince and princesses that we are here you go christian
44:21musty lovely oh warm caviar yes please scrumptious how is that expensive yeah it's kick up the bollocks
44:33that ain't it ming him oh so done we got here it's been a hard trip it has been a
44:40hard trip i think
44:41it's because we've never done anything like this before we've never traveled i mean obviously we've
44:45done our holidays but we've never had to go from place to place and no no have unexpected things
44:50happen and no we've seen a lot in a short amount of time yeah a lot of moving around i
44:55think that we're
44:56not travelers absolutely not we've learned about families yeah what else we don't know about we've
45:02learned about spirituality and religion and of course wealth what's the one thing that you take
45:07what do you want more of because i know what mine is what is yours family yeah i've missed my
45:13family
45:13so much you are i think you definitely appreciate oh your family so much more just the little things
45:19they look like just sitting there having dinner with them and chatting with them just being around
45:22you because your family gives you strength without family what the are you no i was gonna say i've even
45:28missed mommy you love mommy i love her very very much oh that's really ill because you're still
45:34going to be tonguing in the kitchen again i know it yeah we did facetime the other day she showed
45:38me her
45:38tits which is lovely she's got a good pair of tits as well lovely pair of lils
45:45you know what we've had a a roller coaster trip it has been a journey but i think we've had
45:51it we'll
45:51laugh about this dad oh no i know i'm proud of us i'm really proud of it we've had a
45:56really good time
46:02let's uh take one last look at coma smelling that wealth
46:10to italy and all that's beyond it because there's plenty on beyond it darling maybe one day we'll see
46:17we'll have a more trips around europe cheers
46:20so
46:22like