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00:00The following programme contains strong language.
00:11Nothing wrong with being a netbo child anyway. It's all bollocks.
00:13Do you think? Well, think the doctors.
00:15Usually a doctor's kid will be a doctor. No-one says fuck all.
00:18They're saving people's lives, Dad.
00:20Well, we're saving people's lives. We're saving people's caravan lives.
00:25Last time, I met the residents of the park I'd just invested in.
00:28Look at this legend here. Look, two pints.
00:30When I was a kid, they always had a sports day on the field.
00:33Is there a rivalry between Nuts Farm and...
00:38The staff weren't impressed with my performance.
00:40I bet you're gutted I've called this meeting on now, you lot.
00:43Look at them, they're sinking in their seats.
00:45And we got to work drumming up new business.
00:47I wanted to chuck a big billboard on the Isle of Shelby Bridge.
00:58I can't lie.
01:06To pull in new customers at Prior Eel,
01:09I stuck up a massive billboard shouting that we were open for business.
01:17It's so funny.
01:20Do you know what it is, Dan?
01:23It's nuts.
01:24Fucking perfect.
01:29I look like I'm on drugs and I'm noshing off a caravan.
01:31What more can you do with advertising?
01:34It's absolutely massive.
01:36Of course you've got to have the biggest.
01:39This is going to cause a stir.
01:42Thank me later, drivers.
01:44Thank me later.
01:46Do you think they'll like it?
01:52Monday morning,
01:54and the Priory Hill management gets their first look at my handiwork.
01:57Oh, there's a sign.
02:00There it is.
02:01Oh, fucking hell.
02:03It's the nuts.
02:05Oh, my God.
02:07What is that?
02:08That's mental.
02:10I have no idea why we do that.
02:12It's horrific.
02:13So, he's got the company colours wrong.
02:18Jesus.
02:21On site, it was a fine morning in Sheppie.
02:25Fucking door.
02:28I'm sure that's easy to nick.
02:31Shit out of there, but...
02:33We're all going on a...
02:38Oh, damn.
02:39This is lovely.
02:40Go fucking Kent.
02:41I'm on the left, Toronto.
02:43Do, do, do, do, do, do.
02:44La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la,
02:47ya, la, la.
02:49Do you feel like you're more into caravan holidays now or...?
02:53Yeah.
02:53I feel like I am away.
02:54I don't feel like I'm like...
02:56I feel like I'm in a different world when I'm here.
02:58The lays down world.
03:00but our joyride was cut short when the site directors told us to come by the office
03:07oh what's happening there you look like you've got the amp
03:13yeah i ain't gonna lie mate we've seen this sign ah right okay when i saw it the first time
03:19i thought
03:19why is there a caravan coming out of his mouth and then i got down here and saw mark and
03:23he said
03:23why is he deep throating a willoughby kelston and i can't unsee that now you know what are we trying
03:28to promote it a family friendly holiday park right family run and the color scheme it's not kind of
03:37company colors is it it's a little bit loud i didn't know what the company color was look at this
03:43look at the blue is it well what so blue white on blue yeah i can't have that for one
03:49it's millwulf
03:49but you you get that right so you don't like blue because of millwulf right i'm joking i don't know
03:54but so from our point of view red on white that's that's butlins maybe we should have asked you
04:00actually hello mate sorry just getting bollocks at a moment why don't you sit yourself down mark
04:06um talking about our sign any value oh no i mean cut it in half danny's bit's really sweet standing
04:14in the corner of a sign and you look your way and you're deep throat in a caravan it doesn't
04:19say
04:19anywhere on the sign chalets and caravans for sale no it says nuts and private though and we said
04:24you'd be nuts to miss out it's the nuts yeah a lot of nuts punk it's all right fucking hell
04:29why don't
04:29you bring the file down here and we can tweak it just turn it into company colors keep the same
04:33sort
04:34of idea can't change the fucking thing now oh of course you can you must be able to change that
04:37billboard
04:38it's cost me a bump it's been there for a few days right we've had a busy weekend not a
04:42single
04:42customer over the weekend said to me oh i see that signs i was coming none of them not a
04:46single one
04:47are we allowed in come in darling if you want to come hello you have you seen our sign
04:54well it's it's it's it's hard to put it it's me noshing off a caravan no no it ain't it
05:00ain't it
05:00he's he's got his mouth open and there's a caravan coming out of it and it says you'd be nuts
05:05to
05:05miss out she don't like it um can i pay some money do you want to just do it in
05:12half hour is that
05:23i think you're driving along that road 50 60 70 mile an hour you've only got a few seconds
05:27yeah you know i don't think a lot of people are taking it in because it's just it's just a
05:31bit
05:31too like boom with everything going on yeah well it's early days it's early days because i think it
05:37might drum up some business i think it might drum up uh some press you know we've got to try
05:43and sell
05:43some bands yeah i want to make this gas famous so do we yeah let's go all right go on
05:49then oh
05:50oh fucking broke the fucking door now i have look get me out get out
05:57it's just too much like color in it like you know you've got a few seconds driving past it
06:03and no one's really picking up you know i don't even know if danny's that recognizable on it
06:08right well what have we learned we're fucked up i think they wanted something different i think
06:15they wanted it to be a bit plain a bit pretty and a bit simple maybe we need to roll
06:19them in a
06:19little bit more and make these decisions why didn't we ask them sounds like they spent a bit of money
06:23all the more reason i'd come chat about it first do you think we're taking the piss out of the
06:27caravan part no i don't want it i'll have a call to do you think they think we are uh
06:31yeah if that's
06:33their first thing it's going to be a long year oh yeah jesus christ oh fucking hell
06:49yeah have we seen the point of it being coming in or out of his mouth
06:56that's got a big mouth doesn't he
06:59more ways than one
07:03while we licked our wounds a new arrival pulled in a luxury caravan for the nuts seafront
07:10and the van spotters turned out in false
07:15love it champagne aluminium cladding anthracite windows door frames the chassis mate don't fancy
07:21painting one of them it's massive galvanized though but it's massive yeah three wheels
07:24no triple get out of it yeah triple turning that yeah how'd you turn it we've never bought a caravan
07:31this wide in we ain't oh it's massive mate it's quite a luxury van it's actually got a skylight
07:37as well like a velux which is cool it's the most we've invested in a van for sure i think
07:41it'll be
07:41the most we've sold one for as well it's a bit of a gamble but i think it's worth the
07:46risk start coming
07:52around ready
07:54all right start turning a bit then doing this
07:56it's fun mid-turn it
07:58oh well done jim there's only 20 pitches along the front there out of 182
08:04so this is a prime opportunity for someone to get on that front row
08:10later that day jimmy had a little treat lined up for us
08:15we are going to do some demolitions on an old caravan should be fun
08:19a bit of stress relief for everyone just get some hammers
08:23and just smash the fuck out of the caravan basically
08:26there's something about it it's cathartic isn't it
08:29people pay for that it's a proper laugh
08:33so uh why haven't you followed danny yourself what about the billboard i haven't seen danny yet
08:38i think the boys have already given enough of a hard time about it so
08:42i'm just uh we just gotta do a bit of demolition with him
08:45take a hat to mangro in an old caravan
08:49but this wasn't just smash therapy
08:52to make way for the fancy new van an old one had to be retired
08:56what year is this jimmy this band
08:59man you tell me 80s i reckon 90s maybe i'm not sure it's old man oh look at it dan
09:05sometimes when they're this old no one wants it so we have to break it up
09:09we make sure the wood goes properly recycle the wood recycle the metal
09:13that's not good a black cat unfortunately the cat probably lives here is thinking no don't
09:17smash me gaff up where would you start jim what's the old uh
09:21wherever you want really mate go crazy i mean i'm fucking desperate to smash that window
09:25not glass uh come out it's your old bill we usually um take it off of a screwdriver
09:33gently you've just made more work but it's fine mate it's a start let's take this little
09:38thing off go on touch up get up there you fucking stick you know with that all right
09:45just grab something i like smashing things just give it a clump
10:00i'm not strong enough of course you are you're a strong independent woman i've told you i don't
10:04like it i love this just go crackers you know look mug drop a bit of graft this is oh
10:14he's
10:14a good lump ain't he he's just ripped a sink out look at that oh jim oh my god he's
10:24one of them secret
10:24ones isn't he what you know like a secret serial killer he's all kind jimmy and you get him in
10:31one of
10:31these and he's ripping sinks out
10:36jimmy what's one of the weirdest things you've ever found in the caravans found a dildo before
10:41a couple of dildos yeah all sorts just some dildos it's a dildo under the mattress oh good place to
10:46hide them to be fair jimmy a bit obvious i think what do you think where would you hide your
10:50dildo up
10:51my ass oh god full of urine huh full of urine yeah sure you're my kid yeah ryan piss it's
11:05called
11:05urine did you get that at least someone's on it yeah
11:23i think if they've done something that we can actually all get close together and join in
11:29together yeah rather than go to the clubhouse and sit in your own group if it's an event that you
11:36can
11:36all muck in and have a laugh then you you build a rapport don't you when i invested in this
11:43caravan site
11:44no one told me about the rivalry it's actually two sites rolled into one priory hill was set up in
11:521951
11:53and half a century later it bought its seafront neighbor nuts farm the two sites are separated by a
12:01road and this simple divide seems to have brewed a bit of tension welcome to my crib pleasure i wanted
12:09to
12:09unite them hello but first i needed to see how deep the rivalry ran come on in sweetheart
12:17the road is a rivalry between nuts and priory is this true unfortunately it is true i think priory
12:23see their self as a completely different part you've got the divide you've got nuts here you've got priory
12:28there yeah that's always going to cause division yes over there they had the swings they had the
12:33roundabouts right i see there's nothing over here is there it's like you're second class citizen right
12:37what's that about they're no better than me and they're not i'm no better than them it just aggravates
12:42me that they think they are they look at us over here as if we're the camp because the majority
12:47of
12:47them are chalet owners you know i think oh because we've got caravans i think caravans are better than
12:51chalets anyway it is so dubai second class citizens yeah council estate that's how we feel over here
12:58well that's how you feel yeah you go over there sometimes you get like really young children only like four
13:02five six seven years old and they'll say things like what's priory doing over here and you think
13:06car is always oh nuts since you've been alive like that's been sort of bred into them some of them
13:10are snotty over there yeah some of them not okay that clubhouse i'm sorry it's not for you how can
13:16i say it's a bit clicky you'd go in and you think i don't feel right in here it's like
13:21one of those
13:22films when you walk into a western bar yeah like old john wayne films yeah and it all goes quiet
13:28as a west ham fan i know rivalries but landlocked chalets squaring up to seafront vans was a first for
13:35me fortunately i had a cunning plan to unite them based on an idea that came up at the residence
13:41meeting is there a world where if we had a sports day would you come and get amongst it would
13:45you
13:45or are you going to start headbutting no do you know what i'm i'm a lover not a fighter i
13:49can tell
13:49that yeah without a doubt it needs to come to an end if we do do it you've got no
13:53issues with uh
13:55you know hanging out with a few nuts mob is what i'm saying oh no not at all the sports
13:59day should
13:59bring it all together like a family this is what we're thinking nuts priory don't matter where you're
14:04from we'll get the shed lot and the caravan thank you so much
14:17so we've learned that with nuts and priory there is a little bit you know a little bit of rivalry
14:23there i think it's just because they're so separate their chalets on one and caravans on another so
14:28they don't really mix that much do they first of all the sports day so yeah sports day we've got
14:34to
14:34organize it we'll try and do some weird yeah something a little bit left field i don't know
14:39they're going to take it they might be offended no but at the same time they might love it no
14:44they'll be fine i think they've not been involved some of these old girls on here have been involved
14:47in the sports days in 1930. well no let them have a go they've been running around in their bloomers
14:52we've got to roll the kids in obviously and back the kids because they're probably going to be more
14:55excitable so we do a kids race type thing what we do is we'll just allocate two teams should we
15:01do
15:01nuts versus pirate then as a laugh yeah i like that yeah let's get this community back together
15:06let's do it i believe in us that's how we roll wearing these parts before that we had to see
15:12eleanor the assistant sales and service manager hello hello to discuss our other top priority
15:19selling caravans that's the way forward yes yes how many empty plots 35 no it's 38. i think if we
15:27just got a steady flow of sales with the caravan i think just promoting what we already have for sale
15:32and seeing how they go would be really positive so 34 grand roughly for a caravan here what's the
15:37chalets going for anything from two and a half to really that's a huge difference that's what people
15:42want chalets why are they so cheap because i've just been in a chalet and they're lovely how is that
15:47so cheap and this is the weird thing for me when i was a kid yeah if you had a
15:50chalet it was it was
15:51better than a caravan in the 80s don't know why that was but to have a chalet was the ultimate
15:56to have a
15:57caravan in the 80s and they were very different caravans back then of course they haven't got all
16:00the mod cons like this but the chalet was the one that you would aspire to that seems to have
16:04flipped
16:05on its nut now somewhat weirdly coming out of covid they were worth a lot more money the the chalets
16:10now they've they have lost a bit of value and also with the with the shallies they have to pay
16:15cancel tax oh do they really i didn't think you might the shallies generally there's like a high
16:20turnaround on them they are affordable yes um and you know when you think how much it costs to take
16:26a
16:26family abroad you could have six weeks of the school holidays and you've got all the children's
16:31entertainment you've got the pool so yeah it definitely works out a cheap option to get um
16:36to get a chalet just the ground rent it varies on a large chalet it's three thousand six hundred and
16:42eighty two a year a year yeah um that includes water and obviously all the maintenance of the
16:48surrounding area you guys we've got no mains gas so it's color gas so the site fee despite what people
16:54say it's i think it's really good value for money so eleanor what can we bring to the table definitely
16:59advertising um and obviously you know you're very popular so that that would be good and yeah just
17:05getting our name out there as you can probably tell numbers aren't really my game but one thing was clear
17:11we needed to sell vans with that in mind eleanor took us to see the site's newest seafront purchase
17:19we can't start the car okay it does help if you can drive it i'm all over it baby don't
17:24worry
17:27sorry then just makes such a difference when the sunshine comes out yeah
17:34well in here
17:39the riverwood lodge look at that look
17:43it's got a key um is there a key oh look there's a little key there perhaps they've locked me
17:47out
17:48of it nobody i'm being silly i am being a twat you're an idiot come on oh yes
17:56do you know what this is pure sex wow that's what this is it's beautiful it's literally like
18:01a house and look at the view you can't look it this is a prime prime prime slot oh i
18:07love it
18:07oh it's lovely it's lovely a bit of a vaulted ceiling there well if you invite peter crouch
18:12around sweet he won't he won't whack his nut will he he's so nice very impressive so wherever you are
18:19you've got a beautiful it's stunning panoramic view yeah so what do we need to do sell it
18:28i'm going to shut up here so what do you think we need to do promo wise we need to
18:32a funny video
18:33right so do you feel like you want to direct it and i'm sort of the star yeah i'm going
18:36to direct
18:37do you want to be the star i'm better at directing than you what so who's in it you oh
18:41right
18:44with the creative consultation over our task was to craft the ultimate ad
18:50so what i'm going to do is i'm going to ride around the corner
18:54now what you are you staying out there well no i just feel like the opening line should
18:58should be that so here guess the keys let me open them so i won't be able to open the
19:02door yeah or maybe that's quite a cool shot of me throwing you the keys let's try it i like
19:07it right
19:10ready give me an action and all because i get confused if it's not an action action
19:15here at prior year we like making dreams come true if you're anything like me then this is the
19:20caravan for you i've never directed my dad before at all like on anything straight away yeah
19:31he's a leo they love to perform they love to act they love the spot i'm a leo and i'm
19:36saying this but
19:36they do yeah sweet do you want to see it nah fuck all that i actually really like editing like
19:46i really find it therapeutic action this gaff's got everything jekyll flowers a lovely double sink
19:54with running water if people could look at this and look at a bit of tongue and cheek i think
19:59they'll
19:59love it action this is elena head of sales she tells me this is the perfect place for swinging
20:08i'll show you the bedrooms
20:11it's so ridiculous lovely that's another one ticked off now there is an ensuite car seat but i'm not
20:17going to use that i'm going to have a pony in the main car seat you know why because i
20:22ain't a savage
20:25i like that one i'll heart that one you like that one and all right so you're going to have
20:30to uh you ain't going to pull your pants down are you i'm not going to have a shit with
20:33me
20:33trousers on am i yeah but i don't want to see your willy you just do a shot of my
20:36feet yeah
20:39is that you then it's a natural thing isn't it when you sit down i may have farted in here
20:47but let me just record something do it just a minute oh no oh your balls are flapping i can't
20:52more that's got to delete that because i just said your balls okay right ready
21:01it's the one you know what dan that my darling is a masterpiece yeah that's a wrap
21:08oh we're gonna sell her don't worry we will that baby's gonna get sold
21:22lovely day to dry the washing it's all i can say can you do it a bit quicker i can't
21:27this peg is in
21:28the way i'm gonna hide my knickers on the inside so nobody can see how big they are okay and
21:33let's
21:33hope nobody pinches them i decided to hold a fun pack family sports day at priory hill a chance to
21:42bring the park's residents together i love that idea like bringing everyone together it's great
21:49for kids as well to have a nice day but as like i just want to you make sure managing
21:55costs basically
21:56at this time of the year like we can't afford to do a big graph yeah but i need to
22:00come back
22:01after the billboard i want to come back if we're gonna do this i feel that there ain't been a
22:06sports
22:06day years right yeah so we're bringing it back and they'll go oh why why yeah i'll show you why
22:12and it needs to look and feel like it's a proper event yeah me and my dad michael was around
22:20he used
22:21to love sports days like he used to want to do one every summer so i feel like it will
22:26be quite
22:26nostalgic bringing it back for people that were around at that time but also the staff just slightly
22:32concerned that depending on how big event is going to be the cost might spiral out of control so if
22:38we
22:38can just like keep an eye on that then don't you stress all right i'm going to sort this bollocks
22:42out
22:46despite alex's warning to watch the budget we went straight into town to splash a bit of cash
22:52you know what i love about these gaffes it's random keys medals cobbler bet the geezer's a cobbler
22:59cobbler what what's cobbler you know what a cobbler is cobbler cobbler is someone that fixes
23:05shoes oh right good afternoon ah how you doing all right danny lovely to meet you nice to meet
23:11i'm west hello i'm danny nice to meet you we're having a sports day at priory hill and that's
23:15file yeah oh jimmy's place jimmy's you know jimmy yeah i've known jimmy for a long time jimmy's
23:20taken on from where his dad left off yeah so michael used to run it sadly obviously he passed away
23:25but
23:25he's been coming in for a long time well i mean we love that gaff because it's very family orientated
23:29you know what i mean so what we're after really is some medals we want a big trophy at the
23:34end to
23:34give to someone so you're gonna want to cut basically that's the lump i think we're after
23:37let's have a little bit of that one put me bins on these are prescription i'm not trying to be
23:4250 cent
23:43oh look at that look that's beautiful isn't it huh well i think this is the one right i like
23:48that
23:48and also we want some medals grab a couple of these these bronze ones well okay well i think we'll
23:54go with these what do we want to put on them down what do you think dad red and white
23:58or red blue and
23:59white uh yeah let's go with that one red blue and white i like that one i like that one
24:04look at the
24:05trolleys you know and get yourself a little trolley huh you'll have one of them won't you dad when you
24:10get a little bit older do you know what it might be a good price for you one of the
24:14old girls brilliant
24:15they'd love that especially the six-wheel one that swivels a six-wheeled swiveller yeah i mean
24:20they can turn on the spot it's amazing yeah let's have a look west yeah now six wheels with
24:26let's have a look at this this is like this is the rolls-royce of trolleys so you can literally
24:32turn on the spot that is the game you go into a busy morrison store full of drinks full of
24:37all your
24:37shopping 55 jib worth of trolley proper swivels yeah look at that look i'll get these all ready for you
24:44all right cheers son thank you look at that look that's amazing that is always one look at the
24:49movement oh here we go so that's what i'll put on the top wow wow look at that one two
25:03thank you so much have a nice lovely gaff mate lovely gaff keep on cobbling
25:09it's a dying out breed thing that ain't it go on swivel it proper
25:16what i'm slowly learning about this place is that uh it is very much a family-run site
25:22and the sort of oracle of that you know the patriarch was michael but there's obviously a hole left
25:32and it's trying to fill that hole somehow and i think me and danny coming here is trying to bring
25:38an energy and a purpose everyone needs to feel like they're part of this site and i think that's
25:46been lost over the last few years there's no doubt about that there's a divide so if there's any way
25:52that we can bring that back and i think that you know a sports day in honor of michael it's
25:57got to be
25:58a step in the right direction it could be a fucking disaster
26:04danny is a completely different personality to my dad they're like chalk and cheese but in other
26:08ways they are quite similar um danny seems to have like a lot of ideas to bring to the park
26:14and
26:14that's what dad had as well like he was always thinking of new things to do new things to try
26:18out
26:18my man he was a really great guy man everyone loved him he was the center of our family he
26:23had lots
26:23of friends they all loved him and all the customers down here loved him he got him with everyone
26:28he really was the the center of this place and it's been um been what six years now he's been
26:34dead
26:35and it's not been the same people customers come up and say it's not been the same since your dad
26:39left
26:39and i can't deny that they're right michael yeah i guess he was a little bit of a father figure
26:46to be
26:46really um he was best man at my wedding i remember finding out that morning that he passed away it
26:53was horrible i was seven months pregnant when he passed away so it was just
27:02sorry
27:07so yeah it was just difficult like not having that experience with him seeing my grandchildren
27:18i just uh i don't know how does anyone handle it it's grief isn't it but no danny's definitely
27:25brought some energy back to the place that would have been lost since my dad wasn't about definitely
27:29yeah definitely been a real buzz about the place today and when he's since he's been about
27:38the following morning danny had finished editing the advert for social media
27:43after the egg we've got for the billboard we really needed to pull it out of the bag
27:48come and have a look at this beautiful scene
27:54look at that shot from you look they look lovely
27:56out of that on suites
28:00twin bedroom number one look at it looks so good beautiful bastard of a getaway
28:06so nice she's waiting for you i love it do you like it i think that can sell this van
28:11are we worried about the language you don't say the same word you say about swinging but swinging
28:17you want to swing you want to swing you know that's what i'm saying apparently swinging happens down
28:21here mark's head it's a lot of swinging i can guarantee now that's probably in that chalet there
28:25is someone swinging as we speak yeah so you have a swang if i swang yeah
28:32no darling good i ain't got it in me baby i'm glad you didn't see let's post it we'll see
28:36what happens yeah
28:58oh god here we go
28:59we're making dreams come true and if you're anything like me
29:03this is the caravan for you because this is victory's riverwood lodge a 41 by 13 foot temple of tranquillity
29:14twin bedroom number one twin bedroom number two for your nan and granddad they can kip here when
29:21know what's it now there is an ensuite car seat but i'm not going to use that i'm going to
29:29have a pony
29:30in the main car seat you know why because i ain't a savage oh mate eddie out the end bit
29:38will that sell
29:38holiday homes i don't know if anyone's ever taken a shit to try and sell a holiday holiday home or
29:42not
29:42can we take that bit off the end i was going to say we should probably bleep out the swearing
29:45as well
29:46for the kids i get it yeah are we going to have to do something about that we don't think
29:50there's
29:50enough when we should have more because it is a family park so if he's going to be swearing in
29:54the
29:54promotional video is that not a bit he's already posted it he's already done it it's already up yeah
30:00all right well with just 24 hours until sports day the gear i'd panic bought online arrived
30:07whack it on the table dan to be honest i couldn't even remember what i'd ordered all right here we
30:13go here we go here we go this is all our gear look oh look these are the three-legged
30:17rice bands
30:18yeah perfect looks like christmas it is i think dazzle and paul might be a bit worried about what
30:24danny's going to spend on sports day as danny i think might really put a show in you know be
30:29quite extravagant about it feeling very sort of anxious about the weekend the weekend in general
30:36being a busy weekend but more so probably the sports day there's your wellies oh the wellies yeah
30:44not really sure it cost that much will it actually some bibs some white lines where's
30:50your clipboards never looking that way oh yes they are touch a little bit sleep deprived at the moment
30:57as well i fall asleep for about 10 minutes and then all of a sudden sports day comes into my
31:01head like
31:02that and i'm thinking about races and have we got enough of this and have we got enough of that
31:08oh
31:08there we go oh hello hello hello welcome i've heard about mobility scooter races or something like
31:18that that sounds like a nightmare doesn't it and that's the start of the races look the older
31:24all that going lovely i've heard talk of inflatable stuff and gazebos and all this so i'm looking at
31:30my weather app it's talking 25 mile an hour 30 mile an hour gusts of wind oh you're a good
31:36blower
31:37he puts a gazebo up it's going to be in maidstone by lunchtime
31:42prophetic not so good oh that's right i've been light blowing we've got a-list celebrities running
31:49an event i'm thinking jesus christ we're gonna have after the isle of sheppie turn up here there's
31:53gonna be thousands of people and we're just going to be overrun all our owners are going to get the
31:56right hump with it and it's just going to turn into a show we've never done this before
32:02so we've just got to try and pray to the gods the caravan gods you know yeah of course we
32:08do
32:08so it's not just the stress it's more the expense of it are we going to make that money back
32:12in the
32:12long run you know especially if you put something like this on and everyone doesn't enjoy it because
32:17then you really know it's a waste of time um yeah with our epic sports day getting close
32:30it was time to spread the word between the rival camps we are doing a sports day me and my
32:37danny
32:37sports day over here yeah oh so already it's kicking off sports day 11 o'clock over that field
32:45if you pass it's for the sign up hopefully we'll see you over there tomorrow yeah god bless you all
32:50come in sports day i know good perfect that's another one in sports day you about can't wait to see
32:58us
32:58oh here she is my little darling hello hello my little baby okay how are you we're gonna do
33:07uh a sports day right oh yeah really what are nuts all we are saying is give nuts a chance
33:14what no it's chance it's a challenge right so basically we're gonna go a few events i'd love
33:19you to get involved yeah i will we want to bring everyone together we want to have a nice life
33:22and get the wine out absolutely well we thought we'd use nuts because better field yeah well to be
33:29fair everything's always over there right so it'd be lovely to have something you don't mind a few
33:34priory nuts coming over here not at all no you're a very kind lovely woman we're just going to bring
33:38we want to bring everyone together don't we dad that's what we want yeah versus priory but in a
33:43positive way yeah of course and definitely yeah and i might come and have one of your sausages yeah
33:47you can have one of our sausages love oh that's a lovely little oh well i might want to promise
33:53back
33:53though well that's what we do we're trade sausages all right that's all right you got all right with
33:58that new mum oh you don't mind no no she'll be all right lovely to see you as always my
34:05darling you are such a
34:14i like being here when it's rougher but the wind's the only problem frightens me yeah yeah no because
34:20that does get strong you could be anyway we're strapped down babe we're strapped down
34:31all right we'll just go down here let's pass that brick building there all right
34:35more than just a tug of war right when there lads after days of planning sports day had arrived
34:41and so are the residents so many people i'm over the moon there's loads of people here
34:47oh that's naughty someone's got to sort this out it's not human pony is it
34:55you never know do you okay is this sports day or the olympics
35:04all right like this whoa that is
35:08has he gone down the nuts and priory route oh where is he as well it's going to take two
35:14days
35:14to set all this up cutting it fine cutting it fine lynn what do you fancy doing about the bike
35:21thing
35:21the scooter thing the mobility scooter all right once we've done that he'll show up
35:37it's uh it's a lot on it you know if it weren't windy it'd be all right
35:44and if you didn't spend a shit ton of money to spend a fortune i don't know
35:49happy response day boys jesus christ we've ordered some gear i don't know no i've got a bit i've got
35:55a bit excitable that's for the good this is for the granddad race is it grand we thought they've
36:01got to blow it up yeah and then once it's blown up then they race they've got to blow up
36:05they're
36:05going to blow it up and what they're going to win is a week of fry-ups oh they ain't
36:10got lungs for
36:10that i mean if we're going to do it we've got to commit yeah i mean you have thought of
36:15everything
36:16mate it's been it's been years yeah since the last one are you sure about this nuts versus priory
36:21thing guys as well well are we not worried it's going to turn into a brawl or i'm trying to
36:26bring
36:26them all together weirdly what by putting them against against each other yeah you got a plan of
36:31way you want it laid out uh they're my fuck look what an outfit we are what a team oh
36:37dang where's the pegs i can't run with them oh here you go lovely definitely going
36:47this is the thing isn't it the wind oh he's doing it proper look yeah of course they are yeah
36:54ain't our first rodeo no i know i'll tell you why this ends important it's the finishing line yeah
37:00look this is going to finish before that one oh yeah oh that's so bad yeah you've completely
37:05fucked that haven't you somehow we were ready the residents were in the cut was polished
37:12today we would finally heal the nuts priory rift or make it much worse
37:20this is winding me up it's so windy gal force winds were ripping in off the coast
37:27absolute carnage isn't it but i wasn't going to let mother nature piss on our parade
37:33ladies and gentlemen the first race is the kids egg and spoon race
37:40oh look at um oh look god that wind is yeah it could be raining both sideways rain and then
37:48we'll
37:48be banging trouble it's going to blow in the wind i think we're having a bit of trouble keeping them
37:55on the spoon the kids can't even hold them look we've got jekyll eggs it's going to be a tough
38:01it's going to be a long race uh should we start doing another race before this one then we're just
38:06going to have to do it in my this is a very good prize kids you get 10 free slush
38:12puppies
38:15boys we'll give them cocaine ladies and gentlemen okay so in three two one go
38:27oh gotta pick the egg up got to pick the egg oh you've dropped out oh that was so close
38:33to win for priory though i must say she did nikki at the end there she did
38:37there you go darling we weren't off to the best start and the next race was the family relay
38:43in hindsight i probably should have had the kit van arrive a few hours earlier
38:49i think we're fighting the losing battle if i'm honest but just waiting on the space
38:52offers ladies and gentlemen sorry about this tension going as quick as i can
38:57down but ain't my job really is it i thought this was you it's descending into chaos isn't it
39:03already it's only the second event one job i left you blow the space opposite i know i know i
39:09know
39:10i think you're deflating it down i don't know how you're managing that
39:15after what felt like a lifetime nearly there we were finally ready to race sorry about that ladies and
39:24gentlemen what is the prize stand for this this one i like this one this is the 60 pounds primary
39:31voucher for a family meal let's have a bit of the old family relay
39:38oh yeah they're lively this lot here look at that
39:45wow here we go this is it this is the final leg here we go
39:52priory in the lead but nuts in the second oh he's gone over here he goes it's a win for
39:59priory
40:02yes what a race go and have a lager we got there in the end and next it was something
40:09to get the old
40:10deer's pulses racing this is the granny pre representing nuts we have the wonderful patch
40:20we have lynn and on our lonesome representing priory is jane
40:30the prize is a drink with danny dime and a six wheeler swizzler
40:38i want to see these trequels give it 100 right wave that flag go on girls
40:47oh no that's it you got it that's it go go push it down push it that's it push it
40:53push it that's it go
40:54it was on come on then come on then look at her taking it in her stride there jane
41:00lynn don't have it gotta go around the cone remember jane
41:08jane's smashing it at the moment so calm in control oh god
41:15lynn love that john james in the lead here i don't think pat can catch up
41:19pat's coming on the outside can she get rounder ladies and gentlemen we have a winner
41:24it's for cry away it's jane
41:30come here both me and you yeah absolutely my pleasure no doubt we had a shaky start
41:36but the crowd was still with us so i pushed on to the next event the granddad national
41:49we're gonna have a light down oh look at this lump here look he wants it up you get son
42:02assume the position ladies and gentlemen in three two one go
42:09this is incredible what a race this is hey you say we're not star is it a pair of them
42:13right now
42:14he's up and oh look hey oh i can't believe me the arms on this geezer yes let's have the
42:24knee tear up
42:24oh he's gone it's a win for nuts two foot oh fucking hell
42:37look at that look at that what that was outrageous
42:45unbelievable put your hands together for darren and paul are the legends of this holiday park
42:51go let's have it look at these two guys
42:54oh
42:58in all the chaos i've completely lost track of the scores so i decided to spice it up
43:05this is the tug of war ladies and gentlemen five massive points to whoever wins this final
43:12event basically whoever wins this tug of war next to cup take the strain ladies and gentlemen here we go
43:19it's in the middle when my hand comes off start tugging in three two one let's have it
43:28oh yes well you're gonna go on the nuts gotta get it past the time
43:36oh my
43:37keep pulling what's going up you can't lead up you get girl
43:42oh not to the leader come for you put it back oh she's gone
43:54it's a win for nuts well done what a game congratulations nuts
44:02this is incredible well done you went after the bollock and you got yourself up
44:09we were not losing that no way we were losing this has been a great day absolutely brilliant lots
44:15of laughs lots of giggles just getting on with each other well done well done well done they put
44:21on a great day well nothing like that for so long it was such a good day and it sort
44:27of brought
44:27everybody together it ain't about them and us obviously though we will be fighting to get the
44:33thing back this year well congratulations all of you on a wonderful day thank you it's an amazing
44:43holiday camp this i'm really honored to be here i love being back around you people thank you so so
44:55much
44:57get yourself in a nice wind you feel a bit wind sweating yourself baby i hope we've proved to
45:03old darren and paul that you know we can bring something to the table i think that was a little
45:06bit skeptical do you think we're slowly uh winning them over i think it went a lot better than i
45:13expected probably to be fair i don't know how he pulled it off but he pulled it off yeah exactly
45:19yeah i dread to think how much this cost him yeah to put on so you ain't gonna want to
45:23splash
45:23that around every week is it no you can't no you can't do that every week yeah and the honeymoon
45:29period will end soon and they'll realize it's about the nitty-gritty hard work craft
45:34unblocking toilets yeah you'd be wiping off a toilet seat this morning weren't you yeah right back to it
45:41bingo slow down slow down next time we try to sell priory hills most expensive caravan it's ringing
45:54this is going well the bills roll in from sports day it cost 10 grand yeah i won't make an
46:01habit of it
46:01and i'll try to bring a coach load of people to an open day at the park right let's get
46:07these
46:07fucking people on the coach where are they no one
46:10this is
46:39black
46:40We get you done.