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00:02First full day as king.
00:04Now, what's on the docket?
00:05Some fun king stuff?
00:07You've got a meeting with Simon the Architect about infrastructure.
00:10Well, tell him to do a bunch more infrastructure.
00:12Wait, less.
00:13That should keep him busy.
00:15Whoever made these sandwiches should be killed.
00:17Kill the sandwich guy!
00:18Wait, wait.
00:19Don't actually kill the sandwich guy.
00:21But everything you say is an order now.
00:23You're kidding me.
00:24So if I say that vegetable guy looks like he could use a good spanking,
00:27you would take that seriously?
00:28Yes, you're the king.
00:30Scott, you're going to have to develop a sense of when I mean something and when I don't.
00:35Use common sense.
00:36Just don't act upon the obviously funny or whimsical things I say.
00:40But is that one of the orders I'm supposed to ignore?
00:42Of course not.
00:44Don't ignore the order to use common sense.
00:46That is a legitimate order.
00:47Just whenever I say something, immediately decide whether I'm joking or not.
00:51Could you just not joke around?
00:54Absolutely not.
00:55But, and this is the tricky part,
00:56Sometimes as part of the joke,
00:58I might say I really mean something,
01:00but not really mean it.
01:02Like, I could eat a horse and I mean it.
01:04Okay, so sometimes you will say you really mean something,
01:08but you don't.
01:09Exactly.
01:09But this, of course, is not one of those times.
01:12And I do mean that,
01:13and I mean this.
01:15Okay, gang.
01:16I've got our orders,
01:17but listen closely,
01:19because this is a real mind bender.
01:46I'll admit, at first, I was sad I'm not king anymore,
01:49but that's all behind me.
01:51I've moved out of the palace
01:52and embraced the simple life of a free man.
01:55That's the kind of thing sad divorce guys say.
01:57Well, I am divorced in a way.
01:59Divorced from responsibility.
02:02And like many divorcee before me...
02:04Oh, no.
02:04Are you living on a boat?
02:05I'm living on a boat.
02:07Welcome to Ty's Folly.
02:09I put the name right here on the back.
02:10It's just a picture of you and a picture of a boat.
02:13How would you spell folly?
02:14So, be honest.
02:15What do you think?
02:17It's nice.
02:18Yeah, cozy.
02:19Okay, stop.
02:20It's insulting that you feel the need
02:22to tiptoe around my feelings.
02:23Thank God.
02:24Politeness was never going to work for me.
02:25Which is fine.
02:26I'm new to Ty now.
02:27I have shed my unhealthy need
02:29to win approval or feel special.
02:31So, insult my boat if you want.
02:33I know it's a dump.
02:34So, Dad, now that you're king,
02:36we're going to have some fun together?
02:37Maybe do some invading?
02:39What do you mean?
02:39You and me, schlub and stoop.
02:42Conquering territory.
02:44Kickin' ass.
02:44Could be fun, right?
02:46Ty never let me do that.
02:47Dad, king to king,
02:48I would advise you not to let her do any conquering.
02:50She goes too hard.
02:51She'll get herself hurt
02:52and you need her on defense.
02:54Ah, don't listen to him.
02:55He's no fun.
02:56And, stoop, may I remind you
02:57this is Dad we're talking about,
02:58not someone you'd want to follow into battle.
03:01Dad, are you going to do that all day?
03:03Just so we're clear,
03:04you're the weirdos for watching.
03:06And, stupendous, to answer your question,
03:07no pointless conquering.
03:09Damn.
03:09You seem to have forgotten.
03:11I'm the fun-loving king.
03:12I have no intention of invading anything
03:14non-consensually,
03:15including other kingdoms.
03:17Now, if you'll excuse me,
03:18as my first kingly act,
03:19I'm going on a boba run.
03:20What is boba?
03:21The sweetest, juiciest,
03:23chewiest drink I've ever had.
03:25They only make it in the kingdom of boba.
03:27And I'm obsessed with it.
03:29It's been on my mind
03:30ever since someone here
03:31said the word boba.
03:32That was you.
03:33You said that word.
03:34Well, then it's been on my mind
03:35since I said boba.
03:36I am allowed to put thoughts
03:37in my own head.
03:44Woo!
03:46Hell yeah!
03:47Never gets old!
03:49Brosidon?
03:49Did you just pop out of a whale?
03:51It's called shooting the hole.
03:53And Brosidon invented it!
03:55Heard you got a houseboat, by the way.
03:57You like houseboats?
03:58Psh, like them?
03:59I am the god of houseboats!
04:02Where my boat heads at!
04:03Yeah!
04:04Thank you, Alman!
04:06Changes in latitude,
04:07changes in attitude,
04:08you feel me?
04:09Anyway, since I am the god of houseboats,
04:11I'm going to need a monthly offering.
04:13Offering?
04:14What a racket.
04:15Whoa!
04:16Brosidon does not appreciate that vibe!
04:18Well, it needs to be said.
04:20All right.
04:20Well, you don't want to pay,
04:22you don't have to pay.
04:22Really?
04:23Sure.
04:24Oh!
04:25Hey, I've been meaning to ask you.
04:27You know that you're a demigod, right?
04:28Well, yes.
04:29In that I'm the son of a goddess.
04:31So, what's your demigod power?
04:33Excuse me?
04:34Every demigod gets a special power.
04:36What, you didn't get one
04:37at your demigod ceremony?
04:38My demigod ceremony?
04:40Uh, yeah.
04:41The ritual where gods
04:42bestow special powers on demigods?
04:44Wait, wait, wait.
04:45Did your mom not get you one?
04:46No.
04:46My mother did not get me one.
04:48If you haven't had the ceremony,
04:49you're not a full demigod.
04:53When were you going to tell me
04:54about my demigod ceremony?
04:56Your what?
04:56My demigod ceremony,
04:58where demigods are awarded
04:59their special power.
05:00Who told you that?
05:01Broseidon.
05:02And then he went back
05:02into a world's blowhole
05:03and it was sick.
05:04Why are you suddenly concerned
05:06with having a special power?
05:07I thought you were happy
05:08not being special.
05:09I am perfectly happy
05:10not being special.
05:11Sounds like you want to be special.
05:12I don't.
05:13But if I'm destined
05:14to have a special power,
05:15I should damn well have it.
05:16I demand you take me
05:17to Mount Olympus
05:17and get me my demigod ceremony.
05:19Oh, you demand it?
05:20Well, I suppose I have no choice.
05:22You don't.
05:22Hippo, you're coming with me
05:24to make sure she doesn't
05:24change her mind.
05:25Super cool demigod exit.
05:29You need to wax those fools.
05:31I'm flying to my boba
05:33to get my boba treat.
05:35I really love my boba.
05:37No need to be discreet.
05:39It's juicy and it's chewy.
05:41Two different foods in one.
05:43The juice runs down my throat
05:45while the balls dance
05:46on my tongue.
05:48I'll have one.
05:48No bobas for you.
05:50Oh, hello, Frankensludge.
05:52Slub, how opposite of nice
05:54to see you.
05:56You never thank me
05:57for your wedding gift.
05:58Oh, I didn't thank anyone
06:00for wedding gifts.
06:01I'm not a thankful person.
06:02That's arguably my entire brand.
06:04Monster code number one.
06:05Monster get gift.
06:07Monster.
06:07Give thanks.
06:08I'm supposed to thank you
06:09because of a rule.
06:10That makes it completely pointless.
06:12You always do this, Slub.
06:13You only care about yourself
06:15and no one calls you on it.
06:17Well, it's payback time.
06:19By my orders,
06:20no one in this entire kingdom
06:22will serve you a boba.
06:25What?
06:26That's right.
06:26I'm the king here.
06:27But I became king
06:28for one purpose.
06:29To make sure you
06:30never taste the sweet,
06:32chewy refreshment
06:33of a boba
06:34for as long as you live.
06:36You went to all that trouble
06:37of becoming king
06:38just to punish me.
06:39Yeah.
06:40Monster code number six
06:41clearly states
06:42monster allowed to go too far
06:44if monster wants.
06:45Just give me that.
06:47If you want that boba,
06:48you gotta go through
06:49my whole army.
06:50You'd have to conquer
06:51this whole continent
06:52and taste and chew
06:53one of these.
07:04Stop that.
07:05Stop slurping victoriously.
07:08Stupendous,
07:09I've changed my mind.
07:10Get your army together.
07:11We're invading boba.
07:12You decided you wanted
07:13to spend time with me?
07:15Yes, I decided
07:16I want to spend time with you
07:17and that's why
07:18we're going to war.
07:19Invasion buddies!
07:23Look at this.
07:25What an invasion force.
07:26Right?
07:27You want to go rally the troops?
07:28Sure.
07:29Uh, how does one do that?
07:30It's pretty standard.
07:32You're right back and forth
07:33in front of them
07:33like your horse is
07:34raring to go
07:35and you just say
07:36freedom a lot.
07:37Piece of cake.
07:38My loyal subjects,
07:40soon we will meet
07:41our enemies
07:41on the field of battle
07:43but I prefer to call it
07:44a field of freedom.
07:46Brutal!
07:47The fighting will be brutal
07:49and many of you will die
07:51for freedom.
07:52Yeah!
07:54Freedom is what gives us
07:56the freedom to be free
07:57and I don't know about you
07:59but I would rather
08:00die right now
08:01than live another day
08:02not freedom is!
08:05That was so moving!
08:10All right, listen, Taibo.
08:11You got a lot to learn
08:12before the ceremony.
08:13It is going to be
08:14intense training
08:15starting tomorrow.
08:16What sorts of training?
08:17A lot of physical stuff,
08:18some feats of strength
08:19and you got to recite
08:21a whole thing
08:21in the ancient tongue.
08:22The ancient tongue?
08:23My mother never even told me
08:25there was an ancient tongue.
08:26Oh, yeah.
08:27It is a super powerful language.
08:29It's based on inflections.
08:30Like, like there's this one word,
08:32eee,
08:33which means horse.
08:35But if you say it like,
08:37eee,
08:37eee,
08:38it could also mean eyebrows.
08:40Or if you say it a different way,
08:42it just blows up the earth.
08:43So cool.
08:44We'll be working on all that stuff
08:46and you get to stay here
08:47while Ty completes his training.
08:49Deliria,
08:49you recognize your old bedroom, right?
08:52All right, well,
08:55I am...
08:56That means hello,
08:57goodbye,
08:58and it dries up rivers.
09:00Mom,
09:01you used to live here?
09:02Yes,
09:02this was my apartment.
09:04I do miss the amenities.
09:05Is your bed a cloud?
09:06Best night of sleep
09:07you'll ever have.
09:08Well, crap.
09:09A fish could get used to this place.
09:12What just happened?
09:13Oh, that chair transforms
09:14into whatever kind of chair
09:16best fits the moment.
09:17I want to do it.
09:19I'm a toddler,
09:20is that the message here?
09:21What the heck does this do?
09:23It dispenses ambrosia,
09:24the food of the gods.
09:27Oh, my God, Ty.
09:29Yes, it causes a feeling
09:31similar to six,
09:32but magnified by a thousand.
09:37I'm never leaving here.
09:38I'm dying here.
09:39Mom,
09:39you had all this
09:40and then you lost it?
09:41I'm seeing you in a whole new light.
09:43You're a tragic figure.
09:44Oh, shut up.
09:45You know,
09:45demigods do sometimes
09:46get elevated to full gods.
09:48Maybe one day I'll be an Olympian
09:49and you could come visit.
09:51Oh, could I?
09:52How magnanimous of you.
09:54I'm sorry if the thought
09:55all of us being equals
09:56drives you crazy.
09:57What drives me crazy
09:58is that you would want
09:58to hang out with these people
09:59after all that I've told you
10:00about them.
10:01These people seem
10:02pretty decent to me.
10:03Now, if you'll excuse me,
10:05I have to go and learn
10:06an ancient language.
10:07I am...
10:15Extra, extra,
10:17Crapoplian army
10:18wins huge battle
10:19takes Plopopolis.
10:21Crapopolis defeats
10:22Blippity City,
10:23Cackletown,
10:24Littleopolis.
10:25Some city names
10:26totally made up,
10:27study says.
10:29Father, daughter
10:29really bond
10:30on Killing Spree.
10:35Hey, Dad!
10:37Dad!
10:37Look, Dad!
10:38Watch the light
10:39in this guy's eyes go out.
10:40I saw it, yes.
10:41Sweetheart, yes.
10:42Look at you.
10:43That's my girl.
10:44Uh-oh.
10:45Schlob and Stoop
10:45find it's harder
10:46than they thought.
10:47Crapoplian army
10:48paying real price
10:49for this dumb idea.
10:51Battle not so fun anymore,
10:52says Source
10:53close to King.
10:54Okay, um,
10:55you're gonna feel
10:56a little sting
10:56because I'm placing
10:57your arm
10:58in this log
10:58full of fire ants.
11:00Ah!
11:01Ah!
11:01And this heals it?
11:02Well, that's
11:03what we're finding out.
11:04Scott, I need
11:05your advice on something
11:06and I need you
11:07to tell me the truth.
11:08And before you ask,
11:09this is one of those
11:10things I really mean
11:11and so is what
11:12I'm saying right now
11:13about really meaning it.
11:14Okay.
11:15Was it irresponsible
11:16of me to drag
11:17this army
11:18into a protracted
11:19land war
11:20just for a drink?
11:21It was maybe
11:22a little...
11:23Keep in mind
11:23that if you say
11:24it's irresponsible,
11:25that means
11:26you're siding
11:27with Ty.
11:27It was a little
11:28irresponsible.
11:29So I should
11:29come clean
11:30about the boba thing?
11:31I think you gotta.
11:32Damn you.
11:32Kill yourself.
11:33No, don't.
11:34That was a joke.
11:34And me saying that
11:35is not a joke.
11:36And neither is this.
11:38Stupendous,
11:39I think we have
11:39to call off
11:40the invasion.
11:41What?
11:41Great idea!
11:42Can I confess something?
11:43I only started
11:44this invasion
11:45to get a boba.
11:46Can I confess something?
11:47I don't care.
11:48I'm having the time
11:48of my life out here.
11:50Really?
11:50Yeah.
11:51I mean,
11:51you never come
11:52to my fights
11:53and now look at us.
11:54I don't even care
11:55that we're in a quagmire
11:56as long as we're together.
11:58Unless you think
11:59that's dumb?
12:00No, it's not dumb.
12:01It's the noblest
12:02reason of all.
12:03Do you know
12:03the ancient song
12:04Cats in the Cradle?
12:05No.
12:06I don't either.
12:07But I can only assume
12:08it's about a cat
12:09who jumps into a cradle
12:10and steals a man's baby
12:12before he even
12:12gets a chance
12:13to know her.
12:14And the cat
12:14raises the baby
12:15as her own.
12:16And when the baby girl
12:17grows up,
12:18she doesn't even
12:19recognize her own dad
12:20because she thinks
12:21she's a cat now.
12:22And when he goes
12:23to hug her,
12:24she instinctively
12:25tears his face off.
12:27That would be
12:27my guess, too.
12:28It's a cautionary tale
12:30and I'm not gonna
12:30let that happen to us.
12:31You mean it?
12:32Of course I mean it.
12:33This war is completely
12:34worth doing
12:35because you deserve it.
12:37Couldn't you have
12:37father-daughter time
12:38some other way?
12:39I mean,
12:40people are really
12:40getting hurt out there.
12:44What is he talking about?
12:47I'm needy.
12:49I needy.
12:51I am.
12:53I am.
12:55Oh, there you go, bro.
12:57Now you're getting it.
12:59Oh, Broseidon,
13:00don't forget to teach
13:01him the choreography, too.
13:02Oh, yeah.
13:03I want to see full choreo
13:04with this thing.
13:05Mom, this doesn't seem right.
13:06Did they just bring him
13:07here to humiliate him?
13:08Absolutely.
13:09They don't give away
13:10god powers.
13:11He's here for their
13:12entertainment.
13:13That's cruel.
13:14You gotta tell him.
13:14Absolutely not.
13:15He needs to learn
13:16this lesson for himself.
13:17If you're not gonna
13:18tell him, I will.
13:19You will do no such thing.
13:20Yes, I will.
13:25Right after this
13:26passes.
13:30The cat's in the cradle
13:32He's stealing the girl
13:36Raising her up
13:37like a cat in the world
13:40She never knew daddy
13:43But she knows him now
13:45And she's going to
13:47tear his face
13:49Victory!
13:51She's gonna tear
13:52his whole damn face
13:57Victory!
13:59I drink your boba.
14:06Dad!
14:07Look out!
14:24Do you always have
14:26that arrow there?
14:30Well, well, well
14:32Looks like your daughter's
14:34not gonna make it.
14:35Shut up, you smelly balloon.
14:36Yeah, shut up!
14:38You wanna know
14:38what brought your father
14:39all this way?
14:40It was for a drink!
14:42I already know that.
14:43I'm fine with it.
14:44I had fun.
14:45We bonded.
14:46Is everyone
14:47catching the tragedy here?
14:48Guy who never thinks
14:50of anyone else
14:50gives up his own daughter
14:52for a drink?
14:53A daughter so blinded
14:54by the sociopath
14:55she dies for him.
14:57I did what I did
14:58and I do it again.
14:59Stupendous.
15:00That's lovely of you
15:01to say
15:02but I can't let it
15:03end like this.
15:04Wait, I've heard
15:05monster blood
15:06can save Cyclopses.
15:12Scott, why are you
15:13looking away?
15:14I don't know.
15:14It seems weird.
15:16There's nothing weird
15:16about it.
15:17Is anything happening?
15:18No.
15:19Right, so the monster blood
15:20thing was a myth.
15:20Our doctors
15:21could save her.
15:22They could?
15:23Ours haven't progressed
15:24past fire ants.
15:25Wow, say it to my face, dude.
15:28We're an advanced civilization.
15:29We made a smoothie
15:30chewable.
15:31We can save her life
15:32right now.
15:33All you have to do
15:34is say thank you.
15:35Well, that's easy.
15:36Wait, Dad, don't.
15:38What?
15:38This guy's an absolute turd.
15:41You know what?
15:41People like you
15:42are the reason
15:43people love my dad.
15:44He lives for the moment
15:45and he doesn't like rules.
15:47That's why everyone
15:48wants to hang out with him
15:49and that's why
15:50I wanted to invade
15:51your country with him.
15:53Dad, never apologize
15:55for being you.
15:56Just let me die.
15:57Don't give this guy
15:58the satisfaction.
16:00No, that's dumb.
16:01Say thank you.
16:02Thank you, thank you.
16:03For the love of God,
16:04thank you.
16:08I am
16:09an idiot
16:13old loser.
16:23Hey, keep going,
16:28keep going.
16:28They're excited.
16:30Bigger choreo.
16:32I am an idiot loser.
16:35Oh, this is a set-up,
16:36isn't it?
16:36What?
16:37Nah, bro,
16:37it's just a little hazing.
16:39So, I am getting
16:40my special power?
16:42Absolutely.
16:43But first,
16:43you gotta drink
16:44from this chalice.
16:46Chalice!
16:47Chalice!
16:48Chalice!
16:49Chalice!
17:00Chalice!
17:01This is dumb.
17:01I'm really being
17:02played here.
17:03Maybe not, though?
17:07Okay, that spit.
17:08Who's to say
17:10Godspit isn't
17:11the magic ingredient?
17:12Is it?
17:14Well, you tell me.
17:15Because I now grant
17:17you the demigod power
17:19of flying!
17:22Go ahead,
17:23try it out.
17:25I present to you
17:28Tyrannus!
17:29An idiot loser
17:31who thought
17:31he didn't have
17:32to pay me a tribute.
17:37Ty, it's me.
17:38Mom, you knew
17:39this was a set-up
17:40and you still
17:40let it happen?
17:41I thought about
17:42warning you,
17:42but you were being
17:43such a pain,
17:44I decided to let you
17:44learn the lesson
17:45for yourself.
17:46What lesson?
17:47Never trust gods.
17:49I just wanted
17:50a special power
17:50so badly.
17:51I admit it.
17:52I want to feel special.
17:53I'm going to give you
17:54your special power
17:54right now.
17:55Stand up
17:56and look at them
17:56calmly like you
17:57don't care.
18:01Hey, wait,
18:02I just humiliated you.
18:04Look more hard!
18:05Come on!
18:06You lost!
18:06What the hell is this?
18:08What are you doing?
18:08It's like
18:09he doesn't care about us.
18:11Stop not caring!
18:12You're ruining it!
18:14Feels good, doesn't it?
18:15I'd feel a little better
18:16if I had an actual power.
18:18All right,
18:19but I'm only going
18:19to do this once.
18:20Point at something.
18:25What?
18:25Come on,
18:26let's get out of here.
18:32I'm glad you finally
18:33learned your lesson.
18:34You're a strange,
18:35sad man.
18:35But to thank you
18:36for saving my daughter's life,
18:37I give you
18:38all your land back.
18:40I'm afraid
18:40it's not that simple.
18:41Why not?
18:42Because you beat me.
18:43Monster code number four
18:45clearly states,
18:46monster beat monster,
18:47monster stay win.
18:48So I literally
18:49cannot give you
18:50your land back?
18:51The code says no.
18:52What if you win it back?
18:54That I'll allow.
18:55Dad,
18:56I'm not so sure
18:57we're going to be able
18:57to convince my army
18:58to lose on purpose.
19:00It shouldn't be that hard.
19:01It's the same basic formula.
19:02We gather on this field
19:03to lose every bit of ground
19:05we just won.
19:07What's going on?
19:08Wait, lose?
19:08But I'm not asking you
19:10to lose for me.
19:11I'm asking you
19:12to lose for freedom.
19:13Yeah!
19:14Let's go!
19:15Our enemies
19:16don't want us to lose.
19:18They think we can't lose.
19:20But I believe in you
19:22and I know that
19:23when we freedom together,
19:24we freedom
19:25for the freedom
19:26of freedom.
19:34Extra, extra,
19:35Krapopolis army
19:36getting ass kicked.
19:38Krapopolis conquers Boba
19:40then loses it.
19:41Stupendous almost dies
19:42in battle.
19:43Has to get saved
19:44by enemy doctor.
19:46Father-daughter outing
19:47kills thousands
19:48for nothing.
19:49Oh, crap, Dad.
19:50How do we keep Ty
19:51from finding out
19:52about this?
19:53It's on all the vases.
19:54Oh, he can't find out.
19:55He'll lord it over us
19:56forever.
19:57We need something
19:58to knock this story
19:59off the vases
19:59before he gets back.
20:01It's got to be
20:02a huge news story.
20:03Scott, I have an order
20:05for you
20:05and it's going to sound
20:06a lot like a joke
20:07but I swear to you
20:09it's not.
20:10Extra, extra,
20:11read all about it.
20:12King's assistant
20:13dresses up as
20:14gorilla and starts
20:15throwing his feces
20:16everywhere shouting
20:17I am gorilla boy.
20:18Gorilla boy need wife
20:19and then insists
20:20on getting married
20:21to another gorilla.
20:22Sounds like
20:23I've missed some news.
20:24It was a crazy week.
20:25It's harder to run
20:26a city than you think,
20:27isn't it?
20:28So true.
20:29And what have you
20:29been up to?
20:30I had my demigod ceremony.
20:32I'm sorry I missed it.
20:33Yes, you would have
20:34loved it.
20:37Oh, hey, Scott.
20:38Congratulations.
20:39Hey.
20:55I don't know.
20:56The bubble things
20:57are annoying.
20:58The bubble things
20:59are the whole point.
21:00Can I get one without bubbles?
21:01That's just a smoothie.
21:02I love smoothies.
21:04So does everyone.
21:05But this takes them
21:06up a notch.
21:06I think it takes them
21:07down several notches.
21:11I just keep worrying
21:12it's going to get
21:12caught in my throat.
21:14What a stupid thing
21:15to...
21:24I call that
21:26the stoop maneuver.
21:27At half strength,
21:28it saves lives.
21:30Did you get any of that?
21:34Bento.
21:37Sphtes.
21:38Bento.
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