- 19 hours ago
First broadcast 22nd November 1970.
Norman Potter is chosen to be the face of a national advertising campaign for beer, much to the disapproval of the Chair of Governors of the School.
John Alderton - Bernard Hedges
Deryck Guyler - Norman Potter
Noel Howlett - Mr. Cromwell
Joan Sanderson - Doris Ewell
Richard Davies - Mr. Price
Erik Chitty - Mr. Smith
Liz Gebhardt - Maureen Bullock
Penny Spencer - Sharon Eversleigh
Peter Cleall - Eric Duffy
Malcolm McFee - Peter Craven
Peter Denyer - Dennis Dunstable
David Barry - Frankie Abbott
Jill Kerman - Penny Wheeler
Julian Chagrin - Courtney
Arnold Peters - School Governor
Linda Cunningham - Pupil with long blonde hair
George Georghiou - Pupil in blue t-shirt/jeans
Kristin Hatfield - Pupil in blue and yellow hooped top
Aziz Resham - Pupil in grey jumper
Gregory Scott - Mr. Wyatt
Suzanne Togni - Pupil in burgundy patterned dress
Norman Potter is chosen to be the face of a national advertising campaign for beer, much to the disapproval of the Chair of Governors of the School.
John Alderton - Bernard Hedges
Deryck Guyler - Norman Potter
Noel Howlett - Mr. Cromwell
Joan Sanderson - Doris Ewell
Richard Davies - Mr. Price
Erik Chitty - Mr. Smith
Liz Gebhardt - Maureen Bullock
Penny Spencer - Sharon Eversleigh
Peter Cleall - Eric Duffy
Malcolm McFee - Peter Craven
Peter Denyer - Dennis Dunstable
David Barry - Frankie Abbott
Jill Kerman - Penny Wheeler
Julian Chagrin - Courtney
Arnold Peters - School Governor
Linda Cunningham - Pupil with long blonde hair
George Georghiou - Pupil in blue t-shirt/jeans
Kristin Hatfield - Pupil in blue and yellow hooped top
Aziz Resham - Pupil in grey jumper
Gregory Scott - Mr. Wyatt
Suzanne Togni - Pupil in burgundy patterned dress
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00.
00:47What's all the posing for, then?
00:49Well, if you must know, Price, I've got a chance to do some modelling.
00:54For somebody with a face like a Jerusalem artichoke, Price,
00:57I don't see you've got much room to laugh.
00:59Who are you supposed to be, then? Steve McQueen?
01:01Benny says I've got quite regular features.
01:04This is the beginning of the end. You realise that, don't you?
01:07What do you mean?
01:08Oh, well, there's all the glamour for a naive young boy to begin with.
01:11Bright lights, parties.
01:13But what happens when the public tires of you?
01:15You'll end up with a topless waiter in a sleazy soul club.
01:19Drinking with tired businesswomen.
01:21A tear in your eye and a bunny tail on your backside.
01:24And then the final degradation.
01:26Posing nude for a calendar.
01:28Oh, that's terrible. Give it up and come and have a drink.
01:31Look, this photographer friend of Penny's is just coming to see me.
01:34That's all. If he can use me for anything, the money will come in handy.
01:36Oh, do you think he'd take a look at me?
01:38Jerusalem artichoke, Price.
01:41See you tomorrow, Twiggy.
01:45Oh, hello, Penny.
01:46Hello, Mr Price. Hello, darling.
01:47Oh, no, not me. It's him you want.
01:50Darling, this is Courtney.
01:53How do you do?
01:56Good hands.
01:59Good hands.
02:00Good hands.
02:01But is he a photographer or a vampire?
02:06No, don't smile.
02:12Must be very interesting, George.
02:14Don't talk.
02:14Don't talk.
02:15Don't talk, please.
02:15Right.
02:17Relax the face.
02:18Relax the face.
02:19The visage.
02:20Brrrr.
02:21Relax.
02:22Yes, now, please think very carefully.
02:26Please to be a cabbage.
02:29Pardon?
02:30Please to be a cabbage.
02:33Right.
02:38No, darling, this is a turnip.
02:40Now, please try to be a creamed rice pudding.
02:43Creamed rice pudding?
02:46Quite good, yes.
02:48You know, for me, this face says one thing.
02:52What?
02:53Donut.
02:55Courtney, it isn't.
02:56It's a lovely face.
02:57Look at his little ears.
02:58Yes.
02:59I'm so sorry, but for what I need, the face is not lived in enough.
03:03Well, I can't really live in it much more than I do.
03:06Right.
03:07Well, thanks for coming.
03:09No, it's nothing.
03:10Believe me, it's nothing.
03:11Now, Penny, darling, these posings you do for me.
03:13Wednesday night, OK?
03:14Yes?
03:14OK, yes.
03:15Wednesday night.
03:15I'm sorry.
03:16I don't think I can allow that.
03:18Here we go again.
03:18Gladstone speaks tonight.
03:20Oh, well, all right.
03:21But just remember bunny clubs and calendars, will you?
03:26Don't worry, darling.
03:27Trust Courtney.
03:28All right.
03:29Well, can no damn it face buy your drink?
03:31Is permitted to make telephoneings first, please?
03:33Oh, yeah, please.
03:34Help yourself.
03:35No, it's not it now, yeah.
03:36Yes, all right.
03:37All right, yes.
03:38See you downstairs.
03:39Bye-bye.
03:55Oh, hello, Philip.
03:59It's Courtney here, love.
04:00Oh, stop it.
04:02Listen.
04:03No, no use.
04:04No use.
04:05No, it's a dead end, love.
04:06No, another donut face.
04:07It's about donut faces all week like a bloody bakery.
04:11Oh, um, Philip, I'll ring you back.
04:14Hi, hi.
04:15What's the game, then?
04:16Come on, vacate my premises.
04:18Don't talk.
04:19Watch it now, watch it.
04:20I've got a dog, you know.
04:22Don't talk.
04:23And I was in the desert, you know.
04:24I'm a devil when I move.
04:26What do you want?
04:27What do you want?
04:27Your head.
04:28Ruby?
04:29Ruby.
04:32Ruby.
04:33My card.
04:35Photographer.
04:35Oh, I see.
04:39Yes.
04:39Don't smile.
04:42Well, I mean, I'm much more charming when I smile.
04:44No charm.
04:46Correctan.
04:47Oh, yes.
04:48Well, I got that as well, of course, you know.
04:50What for?
04:51It's for male modeling.
04:53What?
04:53Me?
04:54A model?
04:55Da.
04:56I'm not a panzer, you know.
04:59Of course not, sweetie.
05:02Well, I mean, if you just want me for my good looks, the answer is yes.
05:06And I'll much.
05:09Oh, there you are, George.
05:11Now, it's the truth, I tell you.
05:12Look, Monty was in the pub when they was discussing it.
05:15These photographers thinkin' of using privet as a model for adverts.
05:19Oh, well, the Seven Stone Wheatling will get sand kicked in his mush.
05:23That's not fair, Peter.
05:24I know he's not very broad, but he's terribly wiry.
05:27Oh, good.
05:27Look out, privet.
05:28Maureen's back on your trail.
05:29Oh, bless him.
05:31Well, I can't see him doing swimming tranks or pants.
05:33He'd probably be the more posh fountain pen type.
05:36Yeah.
05:36He don't look a bit like a fountain pen.
05:39I used to go out with a model.
05:41Oh, yeah?
05:41Who was that?
05:42Jean Shrimpton?
05:43Yeah.
05:43That's her, yeah.
05:44Packed her in, though.
05:45Oh, yeah.
05:45She wouldn't play the game according to Ann Cabot's rules.
05:48Oh.
05:49Well, it is tricky, Ludo.
05:52Oi, oi, oi.
05:54You giving me lips, Sharon?
05:56Yeah.
05:57If you like.
05:58All right.
06:00Come here.
06:02Now, Maureen's my top.
06:04Oh, Frankie, kiss me.
06:06No, you ain't old enough.
06:09All right, all right.
06:11Come on, girls.
06:12Stop frightening Annabert.
06:14What are you doing, anyway?
06:15Just trying to make his voice break.
06:16Better than his neck, I suppose.
06:18All right, come on.
06:18Settle down, will you?
06:22Whoa.
06:24I've got lipstick on my face, have I?
06:27It has a glamorous world of modelling in cheek.
06:31Yes, I thought it was your brother, Monty, in the feathers, Duffy.
06:33I suppose you could look like a fountain pen if you disguised yourself.
06:37I suppose you could, Dennis.
06:39Why should one want to?
06:40Well, Sharon says you're going to be advertised as one.
06:43Now, listen to me, Fivesy.
06:45I'll tell you this once and I will not repeat myself.
06:47I repeat, I will not repeat myself.
06:50I will not be advertising anything.
06:52I did not get the job.
06:53End of story.
06:54They must be blind.
06:56I think you've got an exquisite face, sir.
06:59Well, thank you very much, but hardly exquisite.
07:02More...
07:02More little boy lost.
07:03More...
07:03Can we just leave my face a little bit and ignore it, please?
07:06Easy.
07:08Easy.
07:10Yeah, that's all I need, a musical radiator.
07:13Don't worry, I'm safe for potter.
07:14Don't talk at it, devil.
07:19Well, then, then, then.
07:21Eh?
07:21Not bad, is it, eh?
07:23Join the scouts, have you?
07:24Scouts.
07:25Get away.
07:26Well, then, then, then.
07:27Wrench.
07:29And the hammer.
07:30And the radiator key.
07:32Radiator.
07:33Tools.
07:34Skillkeeper.
07:35Get on with it.
07:36I'm not touching it with these hands.
07:38I don't care what you touch it with, normally.
07:40I'm insuring these, you know, for five shillings a finger.
07:43To say nothing of the two guineas for my face, you know.
07:45I suppose I should ask why.
07:47Because you were looking at the model, Sonny Boy.
07:49That's why.
07:50Oh, not Courtney.
07:52Yes.
07:52I had this photographic session with him this morning.
07:54Yeah.
07:55I've got a portcullis here, full of proofs.
07:58Now, would you like to have a look, then?
07:59No, thanks.
07:59Now, that's my favourite there, now.
08:01That does show up my equine features up, doesn't it?
08:03Oh, very equine, that boy.
08:06Why did he choose you?
08:08Because you said I had a lived-in look.
08:10Well, you ought to have to counsel round.
08:11You look as if you need condemnation.
08:13Oh, really?
08:14Then why should they have blown me up this morning?
08:16Because they thought you needed demolishing and all.
08:18I hate to interrupt about that radiators talking to you again, Norman.
08:22He is good, you know that, Courtney Byrne.
08:23Have a look at that, Son.
08:24What do you think of that half-carpet finish?
08:25That what?
08:26Half-carpet.
08:27Semi-mat.
08:28Yeah.
08:28What air do you get a beer on there, Potter?
08:31Or a film or what?
08:32Beer, Sonny Boy.
08:33Beer.
08:34Oh, laying in a coffin playing a corpse, are you?
08:37Oh, dear.
08:38That sort of beer is spelled B-W-E-E-R, dear.
08:41Oh, yes.
08:42I should be splastered all over the country.
08:44All the free beer, I suppose.
08:45Look, will you get on with that radiator, please?
08:47I'll turn you off at the main's burn.
08:49Can't stop now.
08:50Gonna have me air done.
08:51Meow.
08:51No, no, Norman.
08:52Norman, no.
08:53Ciao.
08:54That's what I said, sweetie.
08:56Oh, man!
08:59Oh, man!
09:00Come on, Smithy, move the bloody thing, or I'll trick you right up the...
09:03Mr Price!
09:03Eh?
09:04Ah, well, I'm not a plumber.
09:05If Potter did his job properly, I wouldn't...
09:07Tea leaves down the sink in a filthy habit, anyway.
09:10Who's on tea this week?
09:12The silence in Price that you're pointing at me, Price.
09:16Oh, I can't move this bloody thing.
09:18Eh?
09:19Oh, yes.
09:24Oh, yes.
09:24Wheatling.
09:25Oh, I say, Mr...
09:27Oh, no!
09:29Mr Smith, I'm so sorry.
09:31Oh, come here, boy.
09:32Let me wipe the tea leaves off.
09:33Ah, Lord, that's very interesting.
09:35Oh, it is.
09:36You're going on a long journey with a tall, dark woman.
09:39No!
09:41There you are, boy.
09:41Way to be over that.
09:42Potter would stop this ridiculous posturing and get back to his own work.
09:46Things like this wouldn't happen.
09:48Oh, that man.
09:49He didn't even bring in the milk this morning.
09:51He was too busy posing outside the school gates, waiting to be recognised.
09:55Oh, wait till that poster he's on actually goes up.
09:57He'd probably give up work altogether and go into films.
09:59Well, if it's a beer, Edwardis,
10:01but I shall certainly never drink the stuff again.
10:03Stop, stop, flap, flap, flap.
10:05Watch out, he's going to take off.
10:07The chairman of the governors is coming this afternoon.
10:09Snap inspection.
10:10Oh, no.
10:11That's all we need with the school in this filthy state.
10:14I'm afraid without Potter behind them,
10:16the cleaning ladies take liberties.
10:17Oh, no, no, no.
10:18Don't blame Potter.
10:19After all, he is putting Fen Street on the map.
10:21I'd sooner he kept the floors clean.
10:23Oh, no, no, don't bully me, Doris.
10:24I've got a mountain of work to do.
10:26Now, now, Pricey,
10:27I want you to exhibit dissected animals or something, yes?
10:31Right.
10:31I'll choose a couple from 5C.
10:33And, uh, Smithy, I want you to, uh, to...
10:36How about a quick illustrated lecture
10:38on the production of Sago in Malaysia?
10:40Just like that.
10:41Brilliant.
10:42Well, I wasn't serious.
10:44And, Doris, I want you to lay on something for me.
10:46Mind he doesn't go bang?
10:48What do you want me to lay on?
10:50The ballroom dancing class.
10:52But we don't do ballroom dancing.
10:54No, I know, but on the phones of the governor,
10:56fuss, fuss.
10:57Well, why weren't you there to show me up?
10:59Because I was unblocking the sink.
11:02Oh, very well.
11:03Just consider yourself luckier
11:05that I've been having some practice
11:06with Mr Sibley recently.
11:07Oh, what that?
11:09Ballroom dancing.
11:11What are you going to lay on, headmaster?
11:13Oh, no, no, nothing, nothing.
11:14I shall guide the governor,
11:16leading him from your animals
11:17to Smithy's Sago
11:18and then to Doris's twinkling toes.
11:21A bientôt, chaps.
11:22Oh, dear, it'll be like a tour
11:23on a bloody asylum.
11:32When he isn't tripping the light fantastic,
11:35Bobby Edges has a very interesting job.
11:37Cleaning out the bottom of cuckoo clocks.
11:41His partner, Bunty Yule,
11:43has a fascinating hobby.
11:44She collects drain hole covers.
11:46On the reverse turn.
11:49Hooray!
11:50Looks more like wrestling and dancing to me.
11:53Sorry, monsieur.
11:54And we leave the lady
11:56back to her seat.
12:00Thank you, monsieur.
12:01I did so enjoy that.
12:03Yes, so did I.
12:04Here, miss, do you frog?
12:05I beg your pardon?
12:07You know, the frog.
12:11Oh, I thought that was the black bottle.
12:13Now, five-see, I'm very glad
12:15that monsieur and I have had the opportunity
12:17of showing you the finer points
12:18of what is, after all,
12:19a charming social asset.
12:21Where?
12:22Yeah, in an old folks' home.
12:24Oh, he did it beautifully, sir.
12:26Beautifully.
12:27Thank you very much, Maureen.
12:30Now, five-see, it's your turn.
12:33Take the floor, please.
12:34Or the waltz.
12:39Looks like you've got a bed of wallflowers, chief.
12:41Now, come along, everybody.
12:43Don't be embarrassed.
12:45Straight backs, heads held high,
12:47and really savour the heady joys of the ballroom.
12:50But he's actually funny daddy, isn't he?
12:53Well, put it this way, 5C.
12:55The chairman of the governors
12:56is coming in about three minutes.
12:58So give me a hand, will you?
12:59Oh, what?
13:00Didn't you, shy child?
13:02You really do have an understanding, don't you?
13:05Now, come along, everybody.
13:06Pair off now.
13:07Pair off.
13:08Get out of me!
13:10Get out!
13:10I've got him.
13:11No, with each other, Maureen.
13:13Just as well.
13:14Nobody dances with that place tart
13:15except the bus man himself.
13:17Silly fool.
13:18Come on, Den.
13:19Oh, me.
13:25Come and dance with us, Wes.
13:28Come on, Wes.
13:31There's enough.
13:32Oh!
13:35How's that?
13:36All right, 5C, the waltz.
13:38Which, of course, we have been practising
13:39for 8 weeks now.
13:418 weeks?
13:43Oh, yeah!
13:45And 1, 2, 3.
13:471, 2, 3.
13:491, 2, 3.
13:511, 2, 1.
13:57Sorry, take me to a hitch.
14:00Albert.
14:01Yep.
14:01Get the bottle, will you?
14:02I might sign out.
14:03But for you.
14:04Good afternoon, Mr. Hedges.
14:05Very nice to see you again.
14:06Yes, and you.
14:07Well, young man, what's your opinion of ballroom dancing?
14:10Well, er...
14:11Er...
14:12Hello.
14:15Hello.
14:17Well, how about you?
14:19Hmm?
14:19Well, I think it's utterly fadded...
14:21A social asset.
14:23Oh, excellent, excellent.
14:24This is going to have to stop, Bernie.
14:26You know, it's interfering with my career.
14:28What earth are you up to, Potter?
14:30Oh, sir.
14:31Ha-ha.
14:31Yes, well, I'm in the modelling game now, sir.
14:33Yes, our Norman is subsidising his income
14:35and the fame of Fen Street.
14:37Oh, yes, in a few weeks' time now, sir.
14:38You will see me plastered over every billboard in the country.
14:41Plaster?
14:41Well, no, it's more sort of localised, isn't it, Norman?
14:44Eh?
14:44Coast to coast, Courtney said.
14:46He's my photographer, you know.
14:47Oh, yes, they do say that I may even dominate a London airport.
14:51What exactly is this advertisement?
14:53Beer, sir.
14:54Beer?
14:54Beer.
14:55I'd like you to picture the scene, sir.
14:56There I am, you see, in my full uniform.
14:58A school uniform.
14:59But you tell me they might use different photographs, Norman.
15:01Oh, my dead body, son.
15:03Mr. Potter.
15:04Yes, sir.
15:04Mr. Potter, if you're shown advertising beer in a schoolkeeper's uniform,
15:08it'll be the last time you wear it.
15:12But he can't, Bernie.
15:14That would turn Ruby and I into misplaced persons, that.
15:43Right, my shop.
15:44Yeah, I'm greasy.
15:45Do your best.
15:46Nobody puts one past that cap.
15:48Go!
15:4927-0.
15:50Fiddle.
15:50Eh, I've got him, I've got him.
15:52Oh, right.
15:52He's in Potter's office.
15:54Yeah, scissors at Greenberg's door.
15:55Chop me leg.
15:56Go on.
15:56I always wanted to chop Potter's head off.
15:58Right, you know, if this was voodoo, he'd feel this.
16:00Yeah.
16:01No such thing.
16:02Monsignor Stockwell says black magic is but the fear in men's hearts.
16:05I thought you weren't friends with him no more.
16:07Oh, den.
16:08I was like a lamb, what's strayed, but he's now back in the fold, he says.
16:11Oh.
16:11Oh, Eric, I'll cut one of Potter's things off.
16:15Eh?
16:16Don't worry, then.
16:17We've got more than enough for operation or a face.
16:19Well, I never thought of this plan.
16:21That's why I don't think it'll work.
16:22Well, that's why it will work, Bonnie.
16:24No, I just had about enough of Potter and his modelling.
16:27This will take him down a peg or two.
16:29Yeah, didn't he look a silly great lump in them sunglasses?
16:32Look.
16:38Now, come on, Rowan.
16:40You can't do a grit of Garbo in here all day long.
16:43Oh, well, I just let it her write, Byrne, you know, and I thought, well, you know, the
16:47gym, the old gym is the most appropriate place to do it, you know, son.
16:52Yes, do you know, on this very spot, he was here on this very spot in 1946 that the headmaster
16:57first looked at my credentials.
16:58Really?
16:59Yeah.
17:00Byrne, be a good lad, would you?
17:01Just glance through that for me, would you?
17:03You see, I'm very good at English, you know, but I'm a bit emotional and I may have made
17:06one or two mistakes.
17:07All right, now, all right.
17:09Dear sirs.
17:10Yes.
17:10Well, that's not a bad start, no?
17:11No.
17:12I, Norman Hesketh Potter, being of sound body and wind, do you...
17:21No, no, mine.
17:21Oh, mine, yes.
17:23What is this, a will?
17:25No, no, no, it's my resignation, lad.
17:28Well, I knew I was going to get the boot, you see, so I thought I'd put it on the
17:30other
17:30foot and resign first.
17:32No, my Norman, do hereby hold no malice or forethought, but do also hereby bequeath to
17:37the predecessor who follows me my personal squeegee.
17:40Squeegee.
17:40That's nice.
17:40My personal vulcanised effluent waders.
17:44Gumboats.
17:45Oh, gumboats, yes.
17:46And all the fruit, veg, compost and flowers in the garden of my lodge.
17:49Well, that's very nice, Norman.
17:50Yeah, well, you see, this is my home, Fen Street, though.
17:54You know, this school's been just like a son to me, lad.
17:56You know that?
17:58Do you know that I know every piece of coke in that coke area?
18:01I know you do, Norman.
18:03I know without turning round that there are 15 rungs on those wall bars behind me.
18:0617, actually.
18:0717, yes.
18:09There must be something we can do, Norman.
18:11Well, I don't know.
18:12Ruby and I thought we might brought ourselves up in our lodge, you know, but that wouldn't
18:15work.
18:16No.
18:16Oh, she gets a nymphophobia, you see.
18:19Look, Norman.
18:20What if the campaign were cancelled?
18:23Now, what if the photograph were never seen?
18:25Oh.
18:25Look, I'll go and have a word with Courtney.
18:27Would you burn them?
18:28Oh, you're a good lad, son, yeah.
18:29Because, you know, Burn, wherever I look, you know, it's happy memories, you know.
18:35Yeah, yeah, yeah.
18:35You see that little tear there?
18:36Yeah.
18:37That's where a boy tried to stab the gym master in 1954, though.
18:42Do me a favour, will you, Norman?
18:43Yeah.
18:43Keep away from those ropes until I get back.
18:46Yeah.
18:49Now, come on, Penny, darling.
18:51Please don't be difficult.
18:52I want you to take it off.
18:53If Bernard ever finds out about this, we'll get the full Victorian melodrama.
18:57I'll wind up in the snow.
18:58I know I will.
18:58Well, then reason with him.
19:00Put powdered glass in his porridge or something.
19:03What are you doing with your face?
19:04Well, I want to look my best.
19:07Yes, what is it?
19:09Hello, look.
19:10Sit down, please, darling.
19:11We're not finished yet.
19:11Please sit down.
19:12Right there.
19:13Darling, I'm not interested in your face.
19:14You know what I want to photograph.
19:16So please take it off.
19:17Well, my cuddly Bernard isn't going to like this.
19:19I promised him I wouldn't take it off.
19:21I'm sorry, Penny.
19:21Please don't be difficult, darling.
19:23I want you to take it off.
19:24I want completely naked photographs.
19:26Now, please, darling.
19:27All right.
19:28I've just about caught you in time, haven't I?
19:30As for you, what did he want you to take off?
19:34My engagement ring.
19:35Hand lotion, darling.
19:36Hands only.
19:37Oh, I'm sorry.
19:40You've wrinkled my verveteen.
19:44I mean, you've crumpled.
19:47You've crumpled my scarf.
19:48My mummy gave me this scarf.
19:49Look, it's not all that.
19:49Don't.
19:50I want to be alone.
19:52Look, I came here, actually, to ask you a favour.
19:55You want to ask me a favour?
19:57You crumpled my mummy's present.
19:58You ask me a favour?
19:59Oh, look, Corley, if you listen to Bernard, he'll buy you a new scarf, won't you, darling?
20:03Yes, yes, of course I will.
20:05Oh, well, all right.
20:08Okay, then for what you come here?
20:09Well, I want to know whether you could cancel the campaign with Potter.
20:13It threatens his job, you see.
20:15Certainly.
20:16Oh, God.
20:16You write me check for 50,000 quid.
20:1950?
20:19What are you talking about?
20:20That's what it cost to cancel campaign.
20:23Too late, darling.
20:24Well, if Potter's face is plastered all over the country, he'll get a sack.
20:28Poor Ruby.
20:30Come with me, darlings.
20:31Courtney Mikhailovich Gonzalez has something to show you.
20:42Well done, Potter.
20:44There you are, sir.
20:44Two and a half minutes.
20:46And that took the three of us all morning when it happened before, sir.
20:49And I got tea leaves in my hair.
20:52Very impressive, but it's not the point.
20:53Now, what sort of example is it setting in the district to see the local schoolkeeper appetizing beer?
20:58I mean, we just cannot allow it.
20:59Yes, but suppose I was to change my appearance, sir.
21:02Now, what, suppose I was to take off my moustache, you see?
21:04I can lend you a week, no more.
21:06No, I'm sorry.
21:07But Potter's been with us for 25 years.
21:10He's indispensable.
21:11And implacable, sir.
21:12I feel sure everyone here feels he could never be replaced.
21:15Isn't that so?
21:16No, no question about that.
21:18It would be like an amputation.
21:20Mr. Price?
21:21Aye.
21:21Oh, absolutely.
21:22Potter is a living example of all asbestos in a schoolkeeper.
21:25Honest, reliable, hardworking, and a friend to everyone in the school.
21:29Thank you, Mr. Price.
21:30It will cost you a fiver if you keep that job.
21:32It's not a matter of Mr. Potter's credentials.
21:34It's a matter of taste.
21:36Excuse me, sir.
21:37Excuse me.
21:37I've got something to show you, sir.
21:39Now, when you've seen this, I think it'll change your mind.
21:43Look at that, sir.
21:44So far, it hasn't.
21:45This is...
21:46Oh.
21:48This is the actual poster that is being used, sir.
21:51Well, who's that, then?
21:53Exactly, sir.
21:54It could be you.
21:56Hang on.
21:57I've had a thought.
21:58Now, who could tell that that was me?
22:00Sick.
22:01Well, sir?
22:03Well, all right, Potter.
22:04Welcome back, Norman.
22:06Thank you, Mr. Master.
22:06I'd like a glass of sherry rather quickly.
22:08Just one moment, sir.
22:08I'd just like to say a few words, if I may, sir.
22:10I'd just like to thank you all,
22:11and especially Byrne, my old friend, son,
22:13you know, for rallying round.
22:15I'm very deeply moved by it all,
22:16and thank you very much indeed.
22:18Right.
22:19It's a bloody cheek, though, you know, isn't it?
22:20Save as one to lose my face,
22:22and then only show my big heart.
22:23Oh, yeah!
22:25Well, Bangor's the best little childish prank
22:28we've ever thought of.
22:29Let's still do it on him.
22:30Make him squirm.
22:31I said prank, prune face,
22:33not kicking a bloke when he's got a bullet.
22:35That's what I like about Eric.
22:37Ethical morals.
22:38Show me smokes.
22:39Well, I'm sorry Potter's got the sack.
22:41Why?
22:42He's so silly.
22:43It wouldn't be fun if we had a sensible bloke on.
22:45Quite right, me old den.
22:47Hold everything.
22:48Potter's outside, innit?
22:49He's got a reprise.
22:50In that case, it's jolly prank time again.
22:53We'll get going the other end.
22:55More, stick about and do your stuff, right?
22:57All right.
22:57All right, Norman.
22:58All right, how many more times?
22:59When I thank someone, lad, I thank them.
23:01Your car does not leave my playground
23:03until I've covered it in an inch of tortoise wax.
23:06All right.
23:06Good night, sir.
23:07Good night, Maureen.
23:09Oh, Mr. Potter.
23:11I do like your adverts.
23:13Oh, well, thanks very much, lad.
23:15Well, it means what are you talking about?
23:17They're not out yet.
23:17In any way, it's on to the back of my head.
23:19They are, and it's the front of your face.
23:21All up and down the tube, it is.
23:23My face?
23:24Up and down the tube?
23:26Come on, Norman.
23:26Yes.
23:27Norman, yes.
23:28Oh, sorry, wrong way.
23:34Give me a ticket.
23:38All right, same as my grandfather, please.
24:02All right, same as my grandfather, please.
24:06Off they go.
24:07Off they go.
24:08Fuck this thing, are you happy?
24:10Yes.
24:11Yes.
24:12Yes.
24:14Yes.
24:16Yes.
24:17Yes.
24:17Yes.
24:27Yes.
24:29Yes.
24:30Yes.
24:30Yes.
24:30Yes.
24:31Yes.
24:32Yes.
24:33Yes.
24:35Yes.
24:35Yes.
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