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00:02What the hell is hard?
00:04Thank you for letting us be ourselves
00:06So don't mind me if I repeat myself
00:08These simple lines be good for your health
00:11Keep them crime rhymes on the shelf
00:13Live love life like you just don't care
00:15Five thousand leaders never scared
00:18Raise the noise just the moment they fear
00:20Get up, still a beautiful idea
00:22Get up, throw your hands in the air
00:25Get up, and show you how to do it
00:38Check out the news, take a deep breath
00:40And try not to break a sweat
00:42It's Friday, we're live, and it's time for The Last Leg
00:47Tonight on the show, we'll check out
00:49What happened when Andrew got seized
00:51Find out whether social media is going to get yanked
00:54And see who nudged what at the Winter Olympics
00:57Plus we'll be joined by comedians Bridget Christy
01:00And Chloe Petz
01:01On the show that always pushes its luck
01:20Oh, g'day, hello
01:25Save it, there's a lot coming
01:28G'day, I'm Adam Hills, welcome to The Last Leg
01:30The show that's really glad we don't pre-record earlier in the week
01:36With me as always with the pride of Dartmoor, Josh Whittacombe
01:39And the man who genuinely said on Wednesday
01:41And I quote
01:42I still reckon this Andrew thing's going to escalate
01:49Alex Crystal Ball Brooker
01:59Crystal Ball Brooker sounds like another of my disabilities
02:06It's very delicate
02:08We will cover the biggest news of the year in a second
02:11But before we get there
02:13To be fair, it's February
02:16I mean, I can't imagine it getting any bigger than what happened yesterday
02:19But Josh, you have had a big week of your own, right?
02:22Yes
02:22Oh, yes
02:23I, um, I've been up to quite a lot
02:25I, um, I framed a man for a crime he didn't commit, actually
02:32I set up an email address
02:34Andypandy at gmail.com
02:36Sent a few emails to Jeffrey Epstein
02:38And I tell you what, it snowballed all right
02:40No, I didn't
02:41Um, no
02:43No, I went skiing
02:44I went on a skiing holiday for the first time, Adam
02:47Yes
02:48And I was, I'd never skied before, I'm 42
02:52I'm shocked to hear you've never skied before
02:56Uh, and I was excellent
03:00Would you like to see video proof of this?
03:03So, the, all right
03:08That sounded like you just, someone reacted to you saying you were going to strip
03:12Oh, yes
03:13I'll see a little bit of luck
03:15My instructor's in
03:15Um, um, so my daughter, who's eight, is, uh, in the, uh, kind of pink trousers
03:21And then in between us is the instructor
03:24And then I'm the one, the third one coming down
03:26So you'll see the kind of speed I'm cutting down the slopes
03:29Okay
03:33So here I go
03:34As you can see
03:36Absolutely nailing it
03:39Look at that
03:39Look at that speed
03:43Look at me go
03:45Look, wait for it
03:47Yeah
03:58I love the fact that the instructor's gone
04:00Do you know what?
04:01I'm just going to let the eight-year-old go on their own
04:33And look after this little guy
04:34I'm just going to let the three-year-old go on their own
04:34I've got a
04:34I've got a
04:34I've got a
04:36I've got a
04:36Is what you're about to say about the ski
04:38Do you know what?
04:38It's tough to move your foot
04:42You should try driving in one
04:45but it wasn't only your feet that struggled at the altitude no I so the altitude the atmosphere
04:52changed my hair mmm genuinely I just I looked in the mirror like every afternoon I had this
04:58haircut which I've never had the irony is it looks like a ski slope you know you know I look
05:10like one of those Tories that's just moved to reform you know like in the films when Shrek becomes human
05:17for a little we were trying to work out who you look like my first thought was this guy from
05:25the
05:25Winter Olympics I think this is the perfect look-alike
05:42so that's our poll tonight who do you think Josh looks like in that photo what messages on Instagram
05:48with the hashtag Joshua like or on whatsapp using the number oh seven nine five six one seven five
05:52nine zero eight or you can scan the QR code on the screen you can also ask us any questions
05:57about
05:58the news using the hashtag is it okay look let's not mug about let's jump straight into the big story
06:03Emma said is it okay that Andrew Mountbatten Windsor has finally been arrested now at 9 55 a.m.
06:12yesterday the big story for this week's show was going to be the upcoming by-election in Gorton and
06:16Denton that's the sound of a relieved crowd you should have heard the relief co-hosts at 10 a.m.
06:32yesterday it was announced that the Andrew formerly known as Prince had been arrested at his Sandringham
06:37estate for misconduct in public office by 10 05 Gorton and Denton started to sound like Andrew's new
06:42cellmates lads is this the ultimate case of fuck around and find out well I've never heard you say
06:53that phrase before well I mean guys is this a case of chat shit get banged
07:00let me throw it out there right this is Netflix and chill I've run out of them
07:11um well yeah I mean it must have been weird for him to see handcuffs that weren't fluffy
07:18but I genuinely that when he when somebody said to me and Andrew's been arrested yeah and they'd have
07:23asked me what for misconduct in the public office wouldn't have been in my first 100 years
07:29I bet you even when they told him he was like what nothing else
07:36if someone said to me what is misconduct in the public office I go has he photocopied his arms
07:44let's not rule out let's not rule out he's ate someone's lunch in the fridge police attended
07:50Andrew's estate at 8 a.m. yesterday in what we're calling it's a royal knock at the door
07:55apparently there are up to 15 police in attendance in one car I bet you before they went and done
08:04the
08:05arrest they were all sat there just going to each other tell you what I wonder who's gonna play me
08:08in
08:09the crown I mean 15 seems heavy-handed but if maybe they were just told they were visiting an
08:16estate to arrest an unemployed single dad with criminal connections what's worse for Andrew it
08:22was his 66th birthday I know if he said is it okay to wonder if he thought strippers had been
08:28ordered
08:40for his birthday he did he didn't know how to feel about it because he booked an escape room for
08:44his birthday
08:47this is harder than I thought all I've got a bucket and a bag do you reckon when he opened
08:52the door they
08:53still went surprise I was wondering does Andrew does he have two birthdays like the king so they're not
09:04gonna have to like go and arrest him again in June by the way this is your official arrest all
09:10of this
09:10raises so many questions will there be a mugshot if so will he turn side on to make it look
09:15like a stamp
09:18will he be formally interviewed if so can it be by Emily Maitlis will he go to jail if so
09:25will he be
09:26serving at his brother's pleasure and look jail won't be too much of a stretch for Andrew because
09:33he's used to arriving in a massive building and saying what wing will I be sleeping in I bet you
09:39he's
09:39watching Shawshank Redemption now just planning to tunnel out behind a poster of a sloppy Giuseppe
09:45by the way sloppy Giuseppe is not someone you want to meet in prison the Guardian reported the police
09:53have been assessing allegations that Andrew shared sensitive information with the billionaire child
09:57sex offender Jeffrey Epstein when he was a UK trade envoy which makes me wonder are we focusing on the
10:02wrong part of the sentence because surely the important words are with the billionaire child sex
10:08offender not the other hours after the arrest the king released a statement saying quote I have
10:13learned with the deepest concern the news about Andrew Mountbatten Windsor I'm gonna say it any
10:19statement you issue about your brother in which you have to use his full name is not a good statement
10:24he
10:25finished by saying let me stay clearly the law must take its course I thought it was interesting that
10:29the king didn't say the news about my brother yeah I just surely I mean I'm sure he's thought this
10:36many
10:36times but especially this week King Charles must have sat there just going how was he mum's favorite
10:52this is the mad thing because they've just changed his name and they basically going oh he's no longer
10:57associated with us yeah it's real serious like the Queen and Prince Philip they put the money up for him
11:04to you know settle that case situation I don't know what the legal way to say that is Adam yeah
11:10and then
11:10also the queensland who pushed for him to have this job and now basically the royals want less to do
11:16with
11:17him than Brooklyn does with his own parents
11:22Meanwhile the family of Virginia Giffray released a statement saying today our broken hearts have been lifted at the news
11:28that no one is
11:28above the law not even royalty the statement ended with the phrase he was never a prince to survivors everywhere
11:34Virginia did this for you and look this may well be the first domino to fall in all of the
11:38rich and powerful men named in the Epstein files
11:40but if Andrew is found guilty let's hope he's not just a mascot who takes the hit for everybody else
11:45because it's very
11:47hard to believe that of all the people named in those files Andrew is the only person who may have
11:51done
11:51anything wrong ironically Andrew's sister Princess Anne yesterday visited a prison in Leeds
12:02presumably to do a recce so if someone was to escape how would they do
12:13exactly how higher these walls she smuggled in some drugs to put so that he could trade them at a
12:19later date
12:20Andrew there's three grams of spice under a light fitting
12:26The key is a burner phone in the toilet system
12:30The king on the other hand was at London Fashion Week yesterday this candid snap of him with Stella McCartney
12:37Looks like he was breaking the Andrew news to her
12:41This is real time and you're not going to believe it it was his birthday
12:49He's going she's hidden spice in the light
12:53I'll tell you what though the king had a great day
12:56He said they're going to tell you what Andrew would have loved this
12:59Honestly
13:00He'd have loved this it's orange jumpsuits in this season
13:02He'd have been awesome
13:03The only way the king could have had a better day at London Fashion Week is if the fashion had
13:07turned out to be big gloves
13:12He's asking Stella McCartney she can make a custom pair for
13:16It's got to be annoying for Andrew too because he's just moved into a new place. He's probably signed a
13:2012-month contract with Sky
13:23Plus who's going to look after his massive horse?
13:36I
13:41Love that even the horse wants the distance themselves from
13:46Social media obviously went into overdrive and let's be honest it was only a matter of time before someone did
13:50this poignant drawing
13:57I've just got an image of Paddington offering him cigarettes
14:01And Andrew pulling some out of his arse going no I keep mine in here
14:05For later
14:07And look just when we thought yesterday that the story had no more left to give
14:10Andrew was photographed in the back of the car as he left the police station
14:13You've all seen that
14:16In this now iconic image
14:21You know when you've accidentally text someone that you're slagging off
14:28I think I know there's not much praise given to Andrew but you've got to respect a man who drops
14:32ecstasy for a police interrogation
14:37The worst thing was it was an uber pool
14:41I don't know you've used the word spice and ecstasy and I've never seen you more uncomfortable
14:48People do say you end up looking like your dad
14:56We've all been we've all been caught in awkward photos. I mean like this one that was taken of Josh
15:00and Alex arriving at the studios today
15:07That's the ecstasy and spot
15:11The government announced at the government are now said to be considering removing Andrew from the line of succession because
15:15he's still eighth in line to the throne
15:18Being so if he goes to prison and he's queuing for the bog he might only be third in line
15:22for the throne
15:23Can you imagine if he's in prison and king and the king's speech is done with his one phone call
15:35I'm gonna keep it short. There's some really scary guys behind
15:47Look if ever there was a chance that Andrew might be king it's now gone like he's he's not gonna
15:51get to live in a castle
15:52He's not gonna get to wear the crown certainly won't get to be on a stamp. So we've made this
15:57one up for him
16:02And look, you know at the end of the day all of the everything that went on yesterday. He's he
16:07still missed out on his birthday
16:08Yeah, he didn't get to celebrate his birthday. He got home at like, you know after 11 hours
16:12I'm sure they weren't celebrating then no so we thought we'd do something for we look obviously all of this
16:17broke yesterday
16:18We haven't had a lot of time to get a cake together
16:19But we've managed to get a cake together for him and I'm just hearing from our producers that it has
16:24just arrived. So let's bring out the cake
16:27And let's sing
16:30for he's a pervy old fellow
16:33For he's a pervy old fellow
16:36For he's a pervy old fellow
16:41And so say all of us
16:43I think we need to be quicker
16:44So say all of us
16:46So say all of us
16:48For he's a pervy old fellow
16:51He's a pervy old fellow
16:52But he's a pervy old fellow
16:55Stop, I need to say this last bit.
16:57Subject to what happens in court.
17:06Um...
17:06There you go.
17:07Thanks for you.
17:09Thanks, Fergie. Good luck with the new job.
17:15Alright, let's bring out tonight's guests.
17:16Two comedians who are making their first appearance on The Last Leg
17:19and, boy, have they chosen the right week to do it.
17:21Please welcome Bridget Christie and Chloe Pantz.
17:35Hello, mate.
17:36Hello.
17:37Happy Bridget, I'm doing it.
17:40Happy Bridget, I'm doing it.
17:44Happy...
17:47Chloe just said to me,
17:48Happy Prince Andrew Arrest Day.
17:50Happy Prince Andrew Arrest Day, everyone.
17:52To all those who celebrate...
17:53It's a special occasion.
17:55Look, obviously, the big question is...
17:57First question is,
17:58have you ever had a disappointing birthday?
18:00Ooh.
18:01Um, well, I've never been arrested
18:04for sharing trade secrets with a known paedophile
18:06whilst in public office,
18:07if that's what you're implying.
18:09Um, I've only had good birthdays.
18:12So, my last birthday,
18:12I went to Disneyland
18:14and, um, on my birthday,
18:16I did, like, a character brunch breakfast
18:18and I was a bit nervous
18:19because Captain Hook's there
18:20and he was obviously a bit of a wrong-un.
18:22But then I was thinking,
18:23that's...
18:24LAUGHTER
18:24That's kind of thematically relevant
18:25because he had his own dealings
18:27with the underage on an island.
18:29LAUGHTER
18:31So, you heard it here first.
18:33Captain Hook is on the Epstein files.
18:34LAUGHTER
18:36Hey, hey, hey, don't have a go at the disabled on this show.
18:40That's fine. Allegedly.
18:42LAUGHTER
18:44I had my 30th in a Wetherspoons
18:47and I got there before everyone else
18:50and everyone was two hours late,
18:52so I was just on my own.
18:54Oh.
18:55Very depressing.
18:57Wow.
18:58LAUGHTER
18:59Even Andrew went, oh.
19:02LAUGHTER
19:03Now, Chloe, you're on tour at the moment
19:05and I bring that up for a couple of reasons.
19:07One, to let everyone know you're on tour
19:08but also because your tour poster...
19:10On your tour poster,
19:11your hair looks remarkably like Josh's
19:13from earlier on in the show.
19:16LAUGHTER
19:17LAUGHTER
19:20LAUGHTER
19:20Every...
19:21APPLAUSE
19:22Your altitude as well.
19:25APPLAUSE
19:27Everyone was, um...
19:28Yeah, everyone was very surprised by Josh's haircut
19:30but it's just a classic lesbian haircut.
19:33LAUGHTER
19:34I would...
19:35I would urge you not to go to East London with your hair like that
19:38or a lot of ladies that look like me will try and kiss you on the next.
19:41LAUGHTER
19:42Be very careful.
19:43And why am I not going?
19:45LAUGHTER
19:46You do dress like a lesbian, Josh.
19:48You what, sorry?
19:49You dress like a lesbian.
19:50Yeah!
19:51LAUGHTER
19:53I've got to be clear on this, I do fail one of the key criteria.
19:57LAUGHTER
19:58Which is...
20:02I'm a man.
20:03I'm a man.
20:03I'm a man.
20:05You fancy women.
20:06That's close enough.
20:07Yeah.
20:07Yeah.
20:08You've brought along a lookalike of Josh, though.
20:11Well, I've met a lot of horses that...
20:13LAUGHTER
20:16You what?
20:16Have we got a photo?
20:17I think you've got a...
20:19LAUGHTER
20:22Yeah, I can see it, I can see it.
20:24Shall we get her back on to Prince Andrew?
20:28LAUGHTER
20:29You've copped it more than him tonight.
20:31LAUGHTER
20:31Look, it's been a bit of deja vu for us, er...
20:34this week, cos it was only a few weeks ago,
20:36we wrote a song to Farewell Peter Mandelson
20:38for his association with Jeffrey Epstein.
20:40And, look, here we are tonight, doing the same for Andrew.
20:42So, much like Westlife did for Barry Manilow,
20:45we're repurposing the same song, er, with a slightly different twist.
20:48So, to do that, over to you,
20:49Charlie Baker.
20:51APPLAUSE
20:54MUSIC
21:19I guess it's just yesterday, but this year there'll be no soiree.
21:27Not so long ago, you were perving at G-strings.
21:32Now you might go down, and you're serving on D-Wing.
21:36Oh, Andy, well, they came and they ruined your birthday,
21:43and they took you away.
21:45Oh, Andy, well, who would you want as a cellmate?
21:51Perhaps you could bonk with Mandy.
22:00APPLAUSE
22:08We'll have more last week for you after the break.
22:10We'll weigh in on the social media ban,
22:12we'll check in on the Winter Olympics,
22:13and we'll make a prediction for Gorton and Denton.
22:15Plus, we want to know, who does Josh look like in this photo?
22:17Message us on WhatsApp or Instagram.
22:19Use the hashtag Joshalike.
22:20We'll see you in a little bit.
22:22APPLAUSE
22:36Welcome back to Last Leg.
22:37We're joined by Bridget Christie and Chloe Petz.
22:39We didn't get to ask you about Prince Andrew,
22:42about all of what you've made of it all this week.
22:44Andrew, sorry, Andrew.
22:46Well, I mean, I think you do have to look at the parents.
22:50LAUGHTER
22:50No, because if you look at all these men,
22:54they're egomaniacs and they have a sense of entitlement,
22:56and I don't think that just comes in adulthood.
22:59Yeah.
22:59And I think that, I do, I think we're too easy on little boys.
23:03I think we need to be much harder on them.
23:06Yeah.
23:07Crueler.
23:09So that they feel less good about themselves.
23:11I mean, I'm conv...
23:12No, it's true.
23:13Honestly, I was at a birthday party the other day.
23:15Yeah.
23:16And the...
23:18It was my friend's eight-year-old daughter,
23:20and they...
23:21It was time for the cake.
23:22And then her little brother came out,
23:23he was about three.
23:25Well, and I'm sorry about this, it's not very nice,
23:27but he came out holding a poo on a plate.
23:30Oh.
23:31Disgusting.
23:31I thought, oh, the shit's going to hit the fan here.
23:34Yeah.
23:34Anyway.
23:35And they'd had an argument that morning.
23:37He starts singing.
23:38Also, it...
23:39He wasn't dressed properly, so...
23:41There was only two candles in as well, and she was eight.
23:44I mean, what a loser.
23:45Anyway.
23:46And then he sings her this song.
23:48Happy birthday to you.
23:49I've made you up.
23:50I know it's disgusting, but I hate you too.
23:52Oh.
23:53Horrendous.
23:54Awful.
23:54And he wasn't...
23:55And also, I've got to be in my bonnet about...
23:58I don't understand why we make allowances for little children's
24:01bad behaviour and old people's bad behaviour.
24:04So, like, oh, he's only three.
24:06I know he's brought in a poo on a plate, but he's only three,
24:08and I know Granny's racist, but she's 90.
24:10LAUGHTER
24:11I mean...
24:12LAUGHTER
24:13No, but it's true.
24:15Why do we do that?
24:17APPLAUSE
24:17It's true, though.
24:20And also, I'm 54, and I'm not allowed to put on a plate
24:24and be racist at a party, am I?
24:27LAUGHTER
24:27I found that out the hard way.
24:30But my point is...
24:33Yeah.
24:33My point is that the mum...
24:35I thought the mum was going to go mad about it, but she didn't.
24:37She just went, oh, oh, dear.
24:39Shall we put that in the toilet where it belongs?
24:41I've forgotten his name.
24:42I'm so traumatised by it.
24:43Adolf, probably.
24:44Anyway...
24:45LAUGHTER
24:46And I was like, oh, this is awful.
24:47And I don't think she would have been...
24:48If it was a little girl, I think she would have been much harder...
24:51Yeah.
24:52..on the girl, cos we encourage girls to be caring
24:54and nice and nurturing.
24:56We don't...
24:56And I think it is precisely because we tolerate little boys
25:01pooing on plates at their big sister's birthday parties
25:03that Donald Trump is the president of the United States.
25:06LAUGHTER
25:09CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
25:10You've got to be harder on them.
25:16And that Andrew's...
25:18Andrew's gotten away with it.
25:19I mean, it starts...
25:20Yeah.
25:21Chloe?
25:21Your thoughts?
25:23Erm...
25:23I just liked that it happened on his birthday.
25:27LAUGHTER
25:27Cos I'm pretty sure that the arresting officer
25:30must have been a gay man, right?
25:33To have that level of drama and chaos.
25:36LAUGHTER
25:38Just sat round in the briefing like,
25:39we shouldn't do it on his birthday, should we?
25:42LAUGHTER
25:43And then they definitely plan to get one of those big cakes,
25:47right?
25:47And then the arresting officer would jump out of it and be like,
25:50come on, Prince, you're going to the slammer.
25:53LAUGHTER
25:55All right, let's move on to other news now.
25:56LAUGHTER
25:57And there has been other news, apparently.
26:00The boss of Meta, Mark Zuckerberg, was in court in America this week
26:03to answer claims that social media platforms
26:04are engineered to exploit young people's brains.
26:07Do we think social media apps have affected our brains?
26:11Leave a comment below.
26:12LAUGHTER
26:13LAUGHTER
26:15Yeah, 100%.
26:18I personally can't get TikTok,
26:19because I know that it would absolutely take over my life.
26:23Yeah.
26:23And the good thing for me about not having TikTok
26:25is it gives me loads of time to go on Instagram Reels.
26:29LAUGHTER
26:32But I think the thing about me is,
26:33it kind of doesn't matter if I get rid of the apps anyway,
26:35it's the phone that I'm addicted to,
26:37because if I didn't have, like, Instagram or TikTok,
26:39I'd just be sat there, like, scrolling the Tesco club card out.
26:42LAUGHTER
26:42I did this, I genuinely, I locked off...
26:46You can get this thing where you locked off all my distracting apps,
26:49and then I found myself bored on a train,
26:52and I was like, I wonder which town has Uber?
26:55LAUGHTER
26:56So I just went on my Uber app and typed in different towns
27:00to see if it worked, and I was like, I am addicted to this!
27:03So there's talk of a social media ban for children under 16,
27:06how do we feel about that?
27:08Definitely.
27:09I would do that because it affects...
27:10Genuinely, to be serious, um, it...
27:14You can feel it yourself, it affects you.
27:16I've never gone on social media and left feeling happier.
27:20I always feel worse, I feel more antsy, I feel more anxious.
27:24Do you disagree, Bridget?
27:25I'm sorry, I think that any parent...
27:28I think that if you've got children,
27:30you want them to be on social media even more.
27:33Because it means that you don't have to talk to them as much.
27:37LAUGHTER
27:40Oh, come on!
27:41Come on, Dave. Come on.
27:44A lot of agreement in the room.
27:45I mean, I think they should be on it more.
27:47Yeah.
27:48And I think all these politicians saying,
27:50no, we've got to ban it,
27:50they obviously don't spend any time with their children at all.
27:54You know what?
27:54LAUGHTER
27:54OK, over Christmas, my daughter made me a pasta dish
27:58from a recipe from TikTok
28:00and then played me a Labby Siffre song
28:02that had gone viral on Instagram.
28:04Yeah.
28:04And I was eating this amazing dinner,
28:06listening to this music going,
28:07social media's awesome.
28:08Yeah.
28:09I'm...
28:09Yeah, but, like, recipes and music existed before social media.
28:13LAUGHTER
28:15LAUGHTER
28:17APPLAUSE
28:20All right, let's move on to the Winter Olympics now.
28:23GB racked up their third gold medal last night.
28:25GB's curlers made it through to the final,
28:27which will take place tomorrow.
28:29They're going to take on Canada.
28:30Geocast said,
28:31Is it OK that the most bad-ass thing about Canada
28:33is that they're cheating at curling?
28:36LAUGHTER
28:37Yeah, so this week,
28:38the Swedish curling team accused the Canadian team
28:40of double-touching the stone,
28:41which sounds very much like an Australian euphemism
28:44for ruining the toilet.
28:46LAUGHTER
28:47Oh, mate, I think I just double-touched the stone.
28:51LAUGHTER
28:51Didn't Prince Andrew double-touch the stone?
28:53LAUGHTER
28:54The Canadian athlete was accused of letting go of the stone,
28:57then giving it a tiny extra flick with his finger,
29:00which is not allowed.
29:01Yeah.
29:01His response was to tell the Swedish curler to,
29:04and I quote,
29:04Fuck off.
29:06I know.
29:07It's the most exciting thing to happen to curling.
29:10I mean...
29:12LAUGHTER
29:14Who would have thought the great rivalry of our times
29:17would be between the firebrands of Sweden and Canada?
29:20I...
29:20I love the fact that somebody told someone else to fuck off
29:24while they're both holding brooms.
29:26LAUGHTER
29:27But what...
29:28This is what I...
29:29I mean, you don't...
29:30You...
29:30Canada, you don't want to mess with Sweden,
29:33cos you know now all the flat-packed furniture
29:36that's getting sent to Canada,
29:37that's going to have one screw missing.
29:39LAUGHTER
29:41And finally...
29:42How did World War III start?
29:44And you go,
29:45Well, it's between Canada and Sweden.
29:47LAUGHTER
29:49Or...
29:49Should you start the bombing first?
29:52LAUGHTER
29:52Oh, no, after you, eh?
29:53LAUGHTER
29:54Finally, Chinese skier Eileen...
29:56Is this your audition tape?
29:58LAUGHTER
29:59For...
30:00Hello, hello!
30:01Finally, Chinese skier Eileen Gu gave one of the best answers
30:05Oh, yeah.
30:05Of all time at the Winter Olympics to a journalist this week
30:08who asked whether her two silver medals
30:10could be seen as a loss.
30:12Do you see these as two silvers gained or two goals lost?
30:17LAUGHTER
30:18I'm the most decorated free skier, female free skier in history.
30:22I think that's an answer in and of itself.
30:26Um...
30:26How do I say this?
30:28Winning a medal at the Olympics
30:30is a life-changing experience for every athlete.
30:34Doing it five times is exponentially harder
30:36because every medal is equally hard for me,
30:39but everybody else's expectations rise, right?
30:42And so the two medals lost situation,
30:46to be quite frank with you,
30:48I think is kind of a ridiculous perspective to take.
30:51Um, I'm showcasing my best skiing,
30:53I'm doing things that quite literally have never been done before,
30:57and so I think that is more than good enough.
30:59But thank you.
31:02CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
31:03They're right!
31:04Come on!
31:05And Phil,
31:08me and you,
31:10how many times have we had the conversation?
31:13You know, do we see it as a foot lost or a silver one gained?
31:16LAUGHTER
31:19You were fired up by that, Chloe?
31:21Yeah, absolutely.
31:22That was astounding.
31:23And that was her, like, under the intense pressure
31:26of media scrutiny.
31:27Like, that was so eloquent and beautiful.
31:29Big up her.
31:30Also, Eileen Gu is one of the highest paid female athletes
31:34on the planet.
31:35She won two silvers in skiing
31:37and gold in the freestyle verbal smackdown.
31:40LAUGHTER
31:40As I mentioned earlier,
31:42the big story of the week was going to be
31:43the Gorton and Denton by-election.
31:44It does take place next Thursday
31:46and is being seen as a massive test for Keir Starmer's leadership.
31:49We should have the results of the by-election for you next Friday,
31:51unless another royal is arrested, but...
31:55LAUGHTER
31:57I have to cross fingers using two hands.
31:59LAUGHTER
32:03This week, though, we thought we'd try to predict the winner
32:06of what you called the Mancunian Candidate.
32:12APPLAUSE
32:17Now, we've taken our inspiration from the Winter Olympics
32:20for this predictor,
32:21and just genuinely, people accuse us of bias, no matter what it is that we're doing.
32:26So, this week, Josh and Alex will randomly choose helmets to put on our skiers.
32:31Each helmet will represent a different party.
32:33We are doing this clearly, fairly and above board.
32:36Just like FIFA.
32:38LAUGHTER
32:38We've got 11 candidates up there.
32:40Alex, pull out a helmet, I'll tell you which candidate and party it's for.
32:45Happily.
32:45Um...
32:46This is...
32:46The Conservative Party.
32:49The Conservative Party.
32:50Their candidate is Charlotte Cadden.
32:51She's spent 30 years as a police officer, so she's used to dressing in blue.
32:55This is...
32:56The Communist League.
32:58The Communist League.
32:59Uh...
33:00The candidate is Hugo Wills.
33:01They are an exceedingly left-wing political party, and not, as I thought,
33:04a supergroup made up of members of the Communards and Human League.
33:08The Social Democratic Party.
33:10Uh...
33:11Social Democratic Party.
33:12The SDP.
33:13Sebastian Moore.
33:14Volunteers at a food bank, and at 29 is a millennial,
33:17which means if you don't vote for him, he'll say it's totes cringe.
33:20Rejoin EU.
33:23Rejoin EU.
33:24Joseph Omar from the Rejoin EU Party.
33:27Wonder what their policies are.
33:30I guess we'll never know.
33:31Oh, the Green Party.
33:33Sorry, I've broken the hat.
33:34Oh, the hat's broken.
33:35Green Party, it's Hannah Spencer.
33:36That's because it's not been made from good plastic.
33:41She's a police officer.
33:42Uh, no, she's a plumber by trade, so let's hope she can end the leaks in Westminster.
33:46Reform.
33:47Reform.
33:49Uh...
33:49Matt Goodwin, former GB News presenter who ate his own book live on air after losing a bet,
33:53and it's not the only time words have come out of his arse.
33:58Advance UK.
33:59Advance UK.
34:00Nick Buckley is a candidate.
34:01I don't know much about him, but he's got a subheading on his Wikipedia page that says,
34:05and I quote, views about women.
34:08Draw your own...
34:09Libertarian.
34:11Libertarian.
34:11Uh, that is, Dan Clark is against digital ID cards and wants to roll back the arm of the state,
34:15just like Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor, but for very different reasons.
34:19Labour.
34:20Uh, Labour, the candidate is Angeliki Stoja.
34:23Uh, she's a Labour candidate, or as she's known in Manchester, can't believe it's not Burnham.
34:28Liberal Democrats.
34:29Uh, Liberal Democrats, Jackie Pearce, a normal, competent woman who's lived in the area for years.
34:33So she's not gonna win.
34:36I'm finding a monster raving loony party.
34:39Monster raving loony party.
34:41Uh, their candidate is Sir Oinkalot, whose slogan is genuinely, think big, vote pig.
34:50Alright, I'm gonna count down, I'm gonna ask you to lift the barrier,
34:54and the winner will be the skier who goes the furthest once they get off the edge.
34:58Glad you're asking me to do this on live TV.
35:00Let's grow.
35:01Three, two, one, go.
35:03Whoa!
35:05Oh!
35:05And it's...
35:05Oh!
35:06I'm gonna say...
35:08Oh, my God!
35:10Are you okay?
35:10Yeah, I'm fine.
35:12Oh, my God.
35:13It's number two.
35:15Is it?
35:16I fell off!
35:17I was so excited, I fell off!
35:20No, it's number seven, isn't it?
35:22Number seven!
35:23Fuck!
35:25What a way to become disabled!
35:30I was so excited, I fell off!
35:32So, according to our poll, the Libertarian candidate, Dan Clarke, is gonna win Gordon and
35:38Tencent.
35:40Best episode ever.
35:42I'm fine.
35:49You know what?
35:50I'm better on the ski slopes.
35:5314 years waiting for you to get a limp.
35:57We'll have all last week for you after the break.
35:59We'll ask whether aliens are real.
36:01We'll meet this week's mystery guest and we'll find out if Josh is okay.
36:04Plus, we want to know who does he look like in this photo.
36:06Message us on WhatsApp.
36:07Are you okay?
36:08Oh, my God.
36:09You've torn through your jeans.
36:10Oh, no!
36:13Hashtag Joshalike.
36:14We'll see you in a bit.
36:28Welcome back to The Last Leg.
36:30We're joined by Bridget, Chrissy and Chloe Petz.
36:32Uh, we've asked you tonight who Josh looks like in this photo.
36:36Uh, Andy said, uh, my dog.
36:40LAUGHTER
36:44Can we add the RSPCA to that, please?
36:47Johnny said, Claire Balding.
36:51Fair, fair.
36:52Claire Balding.
36:52And Hallie said, this llama.
37:03All right, back to the news.
37:05Is it okay that Barack Obama said aliens are real this week?
37:09Uh, I don't know if you've seen this.
37:10He was answering quick-fire questions on the podcast
37:12and he gave this intriguing answer.
37:15Are aliens real?
37:17Uh, they're real, but I haven't seen them
37:20and they're not being kept in, uh, what is it?
37:24Area 51.
37:24Area 51.
37:25Uh, there's no underground, uh, facility.
37:29Unless there's this enormous conspiracy
37:32and they hid it from the President of the United States.
37:36What about Area 52?
37:39LAUGHTER
37:40So he knows they're real.
37:42Yep.
37:42But he hasn't seen them.
37:43Yep.
37:44The only explanation for that
37:45is a blind date kind of scenario
37:47where he's sat there, there's three aliens
37:49on the other side of the screen
37:50and he's just asking them questions.
37:53LAUGHTER
37:53He never picked one
37:54because they kept coming out with all sorts of innuendo.
37:57LAUGHTER
37:58Um, Obama later issued a statement saying,
38:01statistically, the universe is so vast
38:02that the odds are good there's life out there,
38:04but the distances between solar systems are so great
38:07that the chances we've been visited by aliens is low
38:09and I saw no evidence during my presidency,
38:12uh, that extraterrestrials have made contact with us.
38:14I think if President Obama had revealed aliens were real
38:19and we were putting it in part three...
38:22LAUGHTER
38:22Yeah.
38:24That would show quite how much we do want to talk about Prince Andrew.
38:27LAUGHTER
38:27I also think that if aliens were real,
38:30we would know by now because Trump would have told us, right?
38:33LAUGHTER
38:33Like, the aliens are real and they find me very attractive.
38:38LAUGHTER
38:38Well, funnily enough, overnight Donald Trump announced
38:40he's now going to direct the defence departments
38:42to release government files relating to the existence of UFOs and aliens.
38:46Oh, for the Epstein files? Come on, man.
38:49LAUGHTER
38:49Yeah, but wait till he find out that there's a, uh, leak in it
38:53and Prince Andrew's been feeding secrets to the aliens.
38:56LAUGHTER
38:58Thingy, I mean...
39:00Will he be redacting any aliens in those files?
39:03LAUGHTER
39:05LAUGHTER
39:06Look, it's been a big year for conspiracy theorists.
39:09First it's revealed the world is being run by a cabal of pedophiles.
39:12Now it turns out there might be aliens as well.
39:15I mean, next...
39:15Next week we'll be interviewing the Loch Ness Monster
39:17and hear the new song from Tupac.
39:20LAUGHTER
39:20LAUGHTER
39:21Uh, alright, it's time to bring on this week's mystery guest.
39:23Uh, Bridget and Chloe have to work out how they're connected to the news.
39:25Can we have the mystery guest, please?
39:27Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.
39:30Mysterious guest.
39:32I wanna get close to you.
39:34I wanna get close to you...
39:35I wanna get close to you...
39:36I wanna get close to you...
39:36THAT'S ME SOcast for you...
39:39OK, so who is the mystery guest?
39:42This is Brenda.
39:43Brenda was in the news this week, but the question is why.
39:46Can we have the dramatic lighting change please?
39:49Ooh, ooh, ooh.
39:51Was Brenda in the news because...
39:53A, she was reunited with her prosthetic leg
39:5610 months after losing it in the sea because it finally washed up on a beach in East Yorkshire
40:01Was it because she was reunited with her prosthetic leg 10 months after checking it into the cloakroom at the
40:07O2 arena
40:08And losing her ticket she eventually found a ticket in a pocket and they returned the leg
40:14Or is it because see she was reunited with her prosthetic leg 10 months after picking up someone else's in
40:21the changing rooms of a
40:22Disabled line dancing session
40:24Eventually she found the person in a leg amnesty
40:32That's a real thing have you been on this show before Chloe the green room is a leg amnesty at
40:38the end
40:39or sometimes we just will put them in a bowl I
40:46Do like the idea of a leg honesty box I
40:50I
40:51Think I think whatever happens. We know that Brenda is a messy as fuck that is
40:57Wow, okay, oh
40:59Should we ask some questions? Well just have time. Well, what was the concert?
41:08We'll reveal the mystery guest after saying
41:10Fucking hell Brenda, what's the point?
41:12Sorry, sorry
41:13Emma Long Vale a song for her as well, plus Josh will wrap up the last seven days, we'll see
41:17you in a little bit
41:30Welcome back to the last leg we're joined by Bridget Christie and Chloe Petz
41:33Now before the break we challenged them to work out how this person was connected to the news
41:37Can we have the options again, please?
41:40So was Brenda I reunited with a prosthetic leg after losing it in the sea and it finally washed up
41:46on a beast a beach in East Yorkshire
41:48What she reunited with a prosthetic leg after checking it into the cloakroom at the O2 arena and losing her
41:53ticket?
41:53She eventually found it and they returned the leg
41:55What she reunited with a prosthetic leg ten months after picking up someone else's in the changing rooms of a
42:00disabled line dancing session and she found it in a leg amnesty?
42:04What are your thoughts? I wish it was all three, but we think it is lost at sea
42:13Brenda you've just given away the answer, but
42:16Can you tell us the correct answer, please
42:20Lost at sea
42:21Yay!
42:22Yay!
42:24Yay!
42:26Yay!
42:27Yay!
42:28Yay!
42:31How?
42:33How?
42:34We all want to know how?
42:36OK, on my bucket list was to have a swim in the sea before I was 70, so I joined
42:44the Flamborough flippers and
42:46Decided I was going to have this first dip with them for safety reasons obviously
42:51And I had a sea leg don't laugh. I had a sea leg on so you can just go to
42:57the water
42:58You're not supposed to actually swim with it. You're supposed to just get there take it off and then swim
43:03on
43:04Yeah
43:05Unfortunately, they wanted photographs
43:06So we stood along
43:08Had a photograph done and at the last minute a big wave come and knocked me over and I fell
43:15backwards leg went
43:17Off
43:18When it travels
43:20I fell on the floor
43:21But did nobody try and get get the leg for you?
43:25Um, somebody apparently saw a leg
43:28Yeah
43:28But couldn't, um,
43:30But couldn't actually get hold of it in time because the wave was, took it off
43:36That's a shit lifeguard
43:37That is
43:38So you got written off the leg, you'd forgotten about it, then what happened?
43:42Oh, ten months had gone by and I'd forgotten about it and thought well I'm never going to go to
43:47the sea again
43:47Just thought I'd never see it again
43:49And then a fossil hunter
43:52found it
43:54Ten months later and posted it on Facebook and one of the Flamborough flippers
44:01Noticed it and remembered me and said must be hers
44:05And they sent me the picture of this leg embedded in clay
44:11And the fossil hunter dug it out
44:14In clay?
44:14Yeah, it was like in like this bottom of the hill
44:18It was like just embedded in
44:19Your leg was in a cliff
44:21Yeah, a cliff
44:22Yeah
44:23It wasn't in a bottle
44:25It was a message
44:25It wasn't in the bottle
44:27It wasn't in the bottle
44:27No, it was in the cliff
44:28It was like washed up so hard
44:30Yeah
44:30It embedded itself in some clay
44:32Is it or is the leg like, is it usable?
44:35Is it?
44:36Probably, yeah
44:37Probably
44:37Of course
44:37Is it like a shell where if you put your ear to it you can hear the sea?
44:42I don't know
44:43I'm not that familiar with it yet
44:45I've not had it very long
44:46It's only recently been found
44:49But I reckon it probably is, yeah
44:51Yeah
44:51Well listen, we love this story so much
44:53We think it could be a musical
44:56And we've written a song for it
44:58And we're going to end the show with it tonight
44:59The song about you and your reunited leg
45:02Would you please thank Brenda?
45:03Thank you so much
45:05Thank you so much
45:06That was amazing
45:06Well done, Brenda
45:12Alright, very briefly we ask you who you think Josh looks like in this photo
45:16Ollie said a young Alan Bennett
45:20Katie said Princess Diana
45:24Kelly said
45:25Kelly said
45:26Kelly said
45:27Kelly said Gail Platt
45:31And Alex's mum Elaine Brooker said Peter Mandelson
45:40Jesus Christ mum
45:43Alright, we are about to end the show with a song about Brenda's prosthetic leg that was returned after ten
45:48months at sea
45:48But before we do would you please thank our guests Bridget Christie
45:53Bridget Christie
45:53And Chloe Pitts
45:57And my co-host Josh Whittacombe
45:59And Alex Brooker
46:02We'll be back next week with comedians Jason Manford, Bella Hull and Lou Sanders
46:07Right now though we'd like to leave you with a song we wrote about Brenda Ogden's prosthetic leg
46:11That was discovered in a cliff last week after ten months at sea
46:16And with Wuthering Heights topping the box office we asked Kate Bush tribute act Moments of Pleasure to help us
46:21out
46:22Thanks for watching The Last Leg
46:23My name's Adam Hills
46:24See you next week for the next leg
46:25Thank you
47:22Thank you
47:25Thank you
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