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00:22Imagine if we had the opportunity to hear from a cultural icon after they've passed away.
00:28A chance for them to shape their own legacy, to be heard one last time in their own words.
00:36Eric Dane's charm and magnetic presence quickly solidified his stature as a TV star.
00:42He is most recognized for his role as Dr. Mark Sloan on Grey's Anatomy, the longest-running medical drama in
00:49TV history.
00:50Millions were captivated when his character stepped out of a steam shower and he became McSteamy.
00:56Oh, this is awkward.
00:59And then there was his painfully raw, brutal, and honest portrayal of Count Jacobs on Euphoria.
01:07Throughout his career, Eric played the heartthrob, the athlete, the hero, and the villain.
01:17Always with the same seemingly effortless charm, authenticity, and depth.
01:24His role as father to his two daughters, Billy and Georgia, was the one that mattered the most to him,
01:31though.
01:33He was resilient in his battle against ALS, an incurable disease that paralyzed much of his body, but never his
01:40spirit.
01:43With his passing, the world has lost the beloved leading man in the prime of his life.
01:49Before he died, Eric Dane sat down for a deeply meaningful conversation, at the end of which he was given
01:56the opportunity to speak directly to the world and deliver his final message.
02:01Knowing that what you're about to see would not air until after he passed away, even if that meant locking
02:09away the footage for months or even years.
02:12These are Eric Dane's famous last words.
02:20Special for you, runway.
02:24Well, you had to get me out of here somewhere.
02:27Somehow, right?
02:27And I think a fireman's carry would have been asking a lot.
02:32Exactly.
02:34I'm just going to lock it.
02:35Great.
02:38Lock.
02:39Well done, Brad.
02:40You're stuck here with me now.
02:47What is it?
02:48Are you stuck in here with me or am I stuck in here with you, right?
02:51Exactly.
02:53You still have a sense of humor about everything?
02:56I very much so.
02:57Did you have moments when you didn't or it came back or?
03:00No, I'm always that a sense of humor about this.
03:05It's really kind of interesting what's happening to my body.
03:09The mechanics of this disease is pretty interesting to me.
03:15So when you zoom in and look at how it affects the individual moments is when it can actually bring
03:23you down a little bit.
03:25You know, I'm a complainer.
03:27I've always historically been like the guy that would bitch and moan on his way to doing anything.
03:37But my spirit has been surprisingly pretty moan throughout this journey.
03:43Why do you think it is?
03:45I have no idea.
03:46There's no reason for me to be, you know, happy in any individual moment.
03:53But what I am.
03:56And is that something you think someone who isn't sick can experience?
04:02I think they can understand the concept.
04:05I don't know if they'll actually experience it like somebody who's terminally ill.
04:11Right.
04:12And what it means to be alive has changed for you.
04:16Every day.
04:17The progression of this thing is really just remarkable.
04:23You know, I'm sure I sound pretty good to you, but to me, I feel like I sound like a
04:30frog.
04:31I sit here in nothing but respect and awe of you and your strength, so it sounds good to me.
04:38Good.
04:40And so we're here in this special room, this set, where we're totally private.
04:47And there's no camera people operating in here.
04:50They're in another room, so they can't hear what we're talking about.
04:53And the point of this, always, for everyone we talk to here, is an opportunity to define themselves when everybody's
05:04trying to define them.
05:05An opportunity for them to be really known.
05:08And you and I talked about, we wanted this, our intention to be a little bit more specific.
05:13In that, we really want, at the end of this, that your children will really know you in a way
05:22maybe they wouldn't have had the opportunity to get to know you.
05:25Mm-hmm.
05:26You know, when this, when people are watching this, um, you'll have died.
05:34Is that a complicated thing to consider, because part of it is relief and part of it is every, every
05:41minute, no matter what you're feeling, you're going to want to be present to?
05:46Yeah.
05:49It's a weird concept to kind of grapple with.
05:54Um, you and I are talking here right now and we're both very alive and, you know, at the same
06:03time, when this, um, exists, if it ever does, I won't be here.
06:11What's that feel like?
06:14Um, it's kind of cool, I think.
06:19Um.
06:21How so?
06:21Well, it's just, um, the idea of, um, of living on past, uh, the moment when you, when you pees
06:36up, um, is pretty, is pretty interesting to me.
06:42Speaking from the dead.
06:44Speaking from the dead.
06:46Yeah.
06:47Oh, that's, that's what you're doing right now.
06:49Yeah.
06:52I'm going to read your bio.
06:54Okay.
06:58Eric William Dane.
07:00You were born November 9th, 1972, in San Francisco, California.
07:04Your mother, Leah Cohen, was a homemaker.
07:07Your father, William Dane Melvin, was a Navy airman who became an architect and an interior designer.
07:14He died when you were seven.
07:16You have a younger brother, Sean.
07:18You were married to Rebecca Gayhart, a model and actress, for more than 20 years.
07:23You're still married to her today.
07:24Yeah, that's true.
07:27Uh, you share two daughters, Georgia and Billy.
07:29Billy is named after your father.
07:31Mm-hmm.
07:32What was the thinking behind that?
07:35My firstborn was always going to be Billy, whether it was a boy or a girl.
07:40And she's got kind of a cool name.
07:43Billy Dane.
07:44Mm-hmm.
07:47Sounds like a gunfighter.
07:48Yeah, exactly.
07:49Is Georgia named after anyone?
07:51I think Rebecca just loved that name.
07:55You have been in an interesting and impressive collection of shows, Saved by the Bell, The Wonder
08:00Years, Roseanne, Married with Children, Silk Stockings, and Charmed, amongst many others.
08:06In 2006, your one-time guest role as Dr. Mark Sloan on Grey's Anatomy ignited a fan hysteria
08:13so intense, the show was rewritten to make you into a leading man.
08:18After that, you starred as Captain Tom Chandler on the last ship, followed by your critically
08:22acclaimed performance as Cal Jacobs on HPO's Euphoria.
08:26Since you were diagnosed with ALS, you have been a tireless champion for expanding access
08:31to ALS treatment, raising money, and bringing hope, dignity, and grace to the thousands impacted
08:37by the disease.
08:38And when this is broadcast, all of that work will be finished, and your body will be at
08:44rest.
08:46How does it feel to hear your bio like that?
08:51Well, it feels like, uh, it feels like an interesting story in there somewhere.
09:02I'm proud of some of it.
09:06I mean, you know, you don't bug it, I'm dead.
09:09I'm proud of all of it.
09:12You know, all of it got me to wear a hammer today.
09:18Somehow, my father's always hard to hear, you know, because that was such a wasted life.
09:25He was so talented.
09:29But there was a ton of experience in there, life experience, personal, professional.
09:39I think when I really tried to be good and approach the craft with a certain amount of effort and
09:49focus, that I was capable of doing some pretty good work.
09:55Yeah, certainly, your work on Euphoria.
09:58That is, that, that to me is masterwork.
10:02I, I put a lot of effort into that.
10:06What's a personal connection to that character that you found?
10:10There's something so vulnerable.
10:13There's something so exposed there.
10:16Well, Cal and I are very similar in that, we know what it's like to lead a double life.
10:24I've, I've had experience with that, with, uh, my battle with drugs and alcohol.
10:31I know what it's like to not have my, my insides match my outside.
10:37And do you think that's, that's what your dad struggled with?
10:43I think my father struggled with life.
10:48And, uh, he never felt he was enough.
10:52So when you were seven, your father died by suicide or an accident.
10:59I guess there was some conversation, but I'm not sure which one you think it was.
11:03I don't think, uh, somebody who's that intoxicated would, uh, play with a gun in a bathroom by themselves for
11:21fun.
11:23So I think my father, in that moment, meant to do it.
11:29You know, I just, I, I can think about how lonely my father must have been and how scared he
11:38must have been.
11:40Um, it's heartbreaking.
11:45Does it make you emotional even now as you think about it, his loneliness?
11:53Yes.
11:55And do you, do you connect it, can you connect with that loneliness?
11:59Can you empathize?
12:01Do you feel, have you've had that, those, that level of loneliness as well?
12:04One hundred percent.
12:08I could feel lonely in a crowded room.
12:14And has that always been your experience of what it meant to be Eric?
12:17Was that Eric was, was lonely?
12:18Yeah, I've always felt detached from my peers.
12:29Had a, historically, a very difficult time connecting with people.
12:38And, you know, four months after my father died, my grandmother died, who I lived with.
12:45And you were very close to her?
12:46Very close.
12:47That was almost as impactful, maybe more so than my dad.
12:53She really took care of me.
12:56What was she like?
12:57She was great, man.
12:59She was like, she was so much fun.
13:02I remember putting on this record, she put on the same record every day.
13:08Which one?
13:08It was Engelbert Humperdinck.
13:11Oh, no.
13:11And it was Kwan Doh.
13:13Tell me Kwan Doh, Kwan Doh, Kwan Doh.
13:16And she would play it all day on repeat, dance around, she was just wonderful.
13:22Wow.
13:23And she would take the San Francisco Chronicle and cut out the Dennis the Menace cartoon every day
13:32and put it on the fridge because she was convinced that I was him.
13:39So there was something there always.
13:42Whether it was mischief or charm or whatever you want to call it, I think there was something there.
13:50A rascal.
13:51A rascal.
13:53Yeah, maintain that.
13:55Always, your whole life?
13:56Yes.
13:58And she was your dad's mom or your mom's mom?
14:00My mom's mom.
14:01And your mom was less involved or less maternal?
14:07My mom was young.
14:10I think she did the best she could with the tools she had available to her.
14:17I know that you've told the story before,
14:19about when your mother told you that he had committed suicide.
14:24You were seven.
14:25Yeah.
14:26And she woke you up in the middle of the night.
14:28And before she would tell you, she told you over and over,
14:30I need you to promise to be strong.
14:32I need you to promise to be strong as a seven-year-old.
14:34There's a real sort of block, I think, in the empathy department.
14:45And I think it's because she's got a black belt in denial.
14:52What is she denying?
14:54I think she's denying that it could have such a profound impact on me.
15:00On you?
15:01Yeah.
15:02Also, I don't think she's fully accepting that I had this disease.
15:09You know, I think she's still hanging on to the idea that there's going to be a miracle
15:14cured a year from now.
15:18And it's denial.
15:19It's not hope.
15:20She's not hopeful.
15:21It's denial.
15:22Listen, um, I don't blame her.
15:28My kid at ALS, I would, I would cling to that too.
15:34Yeah.
15:35You clean with your mother?
15:38Oh, no.
15:39Well, now you opened up Pandora's box, Brad.
15:43That's a whole other show.
15:46My mother always felt like I was a challenging.
15:50You refer to me as a challenging child.
15:54And whether it was because she saw parts of my dad in me, or I was just difficult.
16:02You were Dennis the Menace, you said?
16:03I was, uh, even today when I bring things up, you know, she's like, um, well, you know,
16:12can't you just get past this?
16:15And you know, it happened so long ago, why is it still affecting you?
16:21Um, and I think trauma reaches somebody on a cellular level.
16:28It's really hard to get it out of your system.
16:31Um, in fact, probably impossible.
16:35The only thing you can do is learn how to deal with it.
16:39I've been working through it for a long time.
16:42I, uh, I ended up going to a treatment center for trauma and depression.
16:52Mostly related to your dad?
16:55Oh, solely related to my dad, because that's where the trauma came from.
17:00Do you have, like, a memory of the, of the moment of being hit with that information?
17:06Uh, and the trauma setting in, or something shutting off at that moment?
17:09Shutting off. Don't feel. Be strong to me, man. Don't feel, don't cry.
17:17I wanted to explode.
17:19Hmm.
17:23But I had to keep it in.
17:26In a way, I suppose your, your father, he couldn't do that for himself.
17:30He could, clearly.
17:33No. No. That was not on the table.
17:41Did you, did you feel moments in life where you were missing your dad wasn't there for him?
17:45You play, you were, you were a big athlete.
17:47You were playing water polo.
17:49You were achieving a lot out in the world.
17:51Were there moments when you said, oh, man, I, I, I, only dad could be here for this.
18:07You ever talked to him?
18:11I've written letters to him.
18:14Not so much lately.
18:17I think I've found real peace around it.
18:21It still makes me feel, but I think I've, I've really found some peace around it.
18:28Does he ever talk to you?
18:30You ever hear his voice?
18:31No.
18:32Um, I've got a very controversial relationship with the universe right now.
18:39I can't see why.
18:43So when you say that, though, like, at this point, again, as people are watching this,
18:48you are at, at peace.
18:50Your body is at peace.
18:53So where, where are you?
18:55What is the, what is your belief about this?
18:57Well, my honest answer?
18:59Mm-hmm.
18:59Yeah.
19:00Well, I think when the lights go out, it's sober.
19:07I don't, I don't believe that there's, uh, another place for our souls to go.
19:16I think people believe that stuff because it provides them with a lot of comfort.
19:24But, um, I've really come to grips with it.
19:28And I think once the lights go out, out with the old, in with the new.
19:35Have you always believed that?
19:37I think so, yeah.
19:40Right to believe that when we go to sleep, or however it is we, we go,
19:47once we're gone, we're gone.
19:50And we live on in the memories of the people that will miss us.
19:56Hmm.
19:58I, I, I imagine there's a lot of people missing you a lot right now.
20:02So you're, you're definitely living on.
20:04Yeah.
20:07If I were to ask Georgia and Billy, who was their dad?
20:12What do you think they'd say?
20:17I think they would, they would lead with, um, I'm a reactive person.
20:26My dad was a reactive person.
20:29What, what, what would they mean by that?
20:31Not necessarily a negative connotation, but some of their core memories, uh,
20:38involve me reacting to something.
20:40Like, give, give, give, give, give me something.
20:44Uh, you know, uh, traffic is always a good, a good impetus for that.
20:51Yeah.
20:52Um, and I think they would, they would say that I was pretty tough.
20:59Tough as in strong, as in?
21:01Resilient.
21:02Resilient.
21:02Yeah.
21:03I would say I was loving, and I was, I was really
21:10endearing, and compassionate, and empathetic, and, um, trustworthy.
21:18A good dad?
21:20I'm a good dad, yeah.
21:22They, they know that they, they, uh, they would think that too?
21:25Mm-hmm.
21:26Mm-hmm.
21:27Yeah.
21:28We did some really great traveling, saw some wonderful places.
21:33Any particular moment that comes into your mind, highlight that comes into your mind of
21:37something you guys did together?
21:38Yeah, we went to Europe one year.
21:42Um, and then there was a time where I was, uh, we were ripping through the French countryside with
21:51the kids and back in this crazy little car we rented.
21:55Um, and I was flying through the French countryside.
21:59Um, and I would say everything with the French accent.
22:05And then for some reason, for that 15 minutes, my French accent was spot on.
22:13And I have no idea where it came from.
22:16Everybody just in stitches, just laughing.
22:19Yeah.
22:19Yeah.
22:20Mm-hmm.
22:21That's the best thing.
22:22It's my favorite thing to do.
22:24Get them all laughing.
22:26Laugh myself too.
22:29Mm-hmm.
22:29How would you describe your style as being a dad?
22:32Well, I think, I think showing up is the number one, number one quality.
22:39Um, I haven't been perfect with that.
22:45But I've always been there when it mattered.
22:49Do you, when you say imperfect, do you, do you have regrets about time you spent away?
22:54Yeah.
22:54Well, their mother and I are no longer together.
22:58Um, we're still really best friends, but we're not together.
23:03So by, by, you know, just by virtue of the, the distance and us living under separate,
23:13in separate home, you know, there's a lot of, a lot of time lost there.
23:20But, you know, I made sure that I, I can be there as, as much as possible,
23:26and certainly when it counts.
23:28What would you consider when it counts?
23:32I've shown up to all of Billy's ballet recitals.
23:38I've had many nutcrackers, and I'll tell you, there's a couple pieces in there that are beautiful,
23:46but Jesus, I think drones are on, man.
23:50I saw it once, yeah.
23:51Like three hours.
23:53Um, but I've been to all of them.
23:57Uh, I go to Georgia's beach volleyball games.
24:02I'm present in their lives, whether I'm in front of them or 2,000 miles away.
24:12Right.
24:13So, with Rebecca, who you met and fell in love with quickly, and how would you describe the
24:20essence of that relationship and that love affair?
24:23Well, we still love each other deeply.
24:26I just think we don't want to live with each other.
24:30Well, there's a lot of love there.
24:32I'll, I'll never, I will have never, by the time anybody sees this,
24:39have fallen in love with another woman as deeply as I fell in love with Rebecca.
24:45She's the mother of my children.
24:48And the whole way that thing came about, it was so
24:55organic and fortuitous.
24:58I met Rebecca, and I turned to her friend, and I said, I'm gonna marry that girl.
25:04How did you know?
25:06I have no idea.
25:08I have no idea how serious I was in that moment.
25:12But I said that.
25:14And her friend said, no way.
25:17She's never breaking up with her fiancé.
25:19They're getting married.
25:20They met together as they were 15.
25:23You know, four years later, I married her.
25:25I knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my life where it was supposed to happen.
25:31Does she know you better than anybody?
25:34Do you think she knows you the most?
25:34A hundred percent.
25:35What would she say if I asked her who was Eric?
25:40Oh, wow.
25:42Well, she would say that I was probably a person who was
25:53constantly vulnerable and terrified of being vulnerable.
26:00I think she would say that I was funny.
26:08I think she would say that I was charming and didn't know it.
26:13You don't know you're charming, or that quality that you have, that star charming quality, that's just...
26:20I would argue I didn't have it.
26:24Well, I don't know if you can have it and know that you have it.
26:27Makes sense.
26:28Then it's inauthentic, right?
26:30I think it'd be inauthentic, yeah.
26:33So what happened between the two of you?
26:35Why did the marriage not work out?
26:37I think Rebecca was more willing to show up and do her part than I was.
26:43How come?
26:45How come you weren't?
26:47I don't have that, uh, that gene that just, uh, makes you want to keep going,
26:59regardless of what's happening.
27:01I'm like, if there's a hole in the boat, don't try to patch the hole.
27:07Scuttle the damn thing and go find a new one.
27:12And that's how, that's how you, you approached big problems in the past, in your life, in general.
27:19Yeah.
27:21I have.
27:23But you can't do that now.
27:26No.
27:28Does that change your perspective on that strategy?
27:35Yes.
27:36I've always been envious of people who fight and persevere.
27:43Rebecca's a fighter and she perseveres.
27:46But you, you clearly have a ton of perseverance.
27:48Maybe it was, maybe...
27:49I don't know.
27:50Is resiliency the same thing?
27:52I don't know.
27:53What do you think?
27:54What do you, what do you, how do you see the difference between those two things?
27:56I think one is, uh, a coping mechanism or an act of defense and the other is more,
28:05um, proactive.
28:08I think perseverance is something that you do to something.
28:15Right.
28:16But when you describe really living every moment up until the end and having to be really present,
28:22that feels like perseverance, not resilience.
28:25Resilience feels like survival.
28:27Yeah, you're right.
28:31Resiliency is survival.
28:35And do you feel like most of your life you've, you've been surviving?
28:41Well, now that you mention it, Brad.
28:46Um, yeah, I haven't displayed some perseverance in there in a few spots.
28:52I think so.
28:53It looks that way from, from here, you know?
28:56Yeah.
28:56Certainly.
28:57And, and not just, not just with the aliens.
28:59That, that just, that just goes to, to, to show that I, I have a warped sense of, of who
29:07I am.
29:09So, two questions.
29:10What's the warped sense and what's the true sense, do you think?
29:13What's the warped sense of who you are to you?
29:16The warped sense?
29:17You were.
29:18Okay, okay.
29:19This, the warped sense is, uh, as I am, I am not enough.
29:27And, uh, I'm not deserving of, of having, uh, a great life.
29:40I felt different than everybody.
29:43You know, my life experience was very unique at that point.
29:49And it made me feel like, as I was, I was not enough.
29:57Then the reality of that is, I was absolutely more than enough.
30:08When did you realize that?
30:11About two minutes ago.
30:15Um, I realized that, uh, you know, this thing has made me a little bit softer, a little bit more
30:24open,
30:25a little bit more, um, um, um, uh, available to experience the truth about myself.
30:37My friends remind me, too.
30:39All I'm left with is, is me.
30:43And it's kind of a fucked up way of realizing that you were enough the whole time.
30:49And everything gets taken away.
30:52Mm-hmm.
30:52And all you have left is this person.
30:56Do you still have judgment about yourself sometimes?
30:58Or you, or you totally put that away?
31:01Buried it.
31:04Ain't nothing left to judge.
31:06It's me.
31:09What would you tell people watching this, how they should live or treat themselves, or?
31:15You know, I don't think I can tell anybody how they should live.
31:19I would make a gentle, a gentle suggestion.
31:25At every opportunity, every single opportunity you have to stop on your ego,
31:36take it.
31:37Hmm.
31:39Did you ever do that before this?
31:42Yes, I've worked on it. I'm under construction.
31:48We all are, right?
31:50Yeah.
31:51Do you have any particular
31:54life hacks? You know, I, I always tell my son, when you shave,
31:58shave in ways so that if you have to stop in the middle, you won't look silly.
32:02So, like, first the bottom and then the sides.
32:04Right.
32:04And so that, because you never know, an earthquake could happen.
32:06Okay.
32:07So these are, these are random life hacks that any human has that kind of die with them
32:12because they're so silly. Do you have any of those?
32:15Um, well, you know, I think you should always make your bed.
32:23And I don't have a make your bed speech, but you should always make your bed.
32:29Because at the very least, if you want to, like,
32:32hide from the world and jump back in it, it looks inviting.
32:39It's a good one.
32:40I got girls. I can't think I'm out of shape.
32:45No. No, you, but you must have shaved your legs for water polo, yeah?
32:50No, I didn't have to. I'm virtually hairless.
32:53Oh, really?
32:55I, I find nothing more impressive than water polo players. That, to me, is real athleticism,
33:00like, to be able to play that game while swimming.
33:03Yeah, I wasn't really good.
33:05Were you?
33:05I wasn't good enough to say I wasn't really good.
33:10Right. And, and, and from everything else we've said, I don't think you would have said you were
33:14really good unless you were actually really good. It would have taken a lot to overcome your
33:18insecurity. You have to have undeniable evidence.
33:20Undeniably 11 minutes. That wasn't really good.
33:24What else were you undeniably good at?
33:27That's a great question. Wow.
33:33I was undeniably a good tennis player.
33:36Hmm.
33:38I think I had my moments of my career where I was undeniably good.
33:43I wouldn't say undeniably amazing, but I would say undeniably good.
33:49When would those be?
33:51Hmm. You know, some of the early days on Grey's Anatomy.
33:57I just felt like, on, on the whole, that experience was very gratifying.
34:05Even when I tried to sink the ship.
34:09Mm-hmm.
34:10This is when your addiction got overwhelming during that time.
34:14Yeah. I am not good with a lot of time on my hands.
34:18I need structure.
34:20And that show provided a lot of structure for me.
34:26Um, and when we, we stopped short, where the writer's strike, I had months off.
34:34And, uh, I found my way back to, uh, drugs and alcohol.
34:41There was a, there was a self-sabotage that went on there during that.
34:45Yeah.
34:46But, uh, I knew better.
34:50Because, uh, at that time, I had been sober for about nine years.
34:57So I knew better.
34:59And you don't think, you don't think that overcoming addiction like that is perseverance?
35:06I think it's resilience.
35:09Sobriety is an action, and it's an action you take every day.
35:12That's true.
35:13That seems like your definition of perseverance to me.
35:16That's true.
35:17Well, like I said, maybe there's a little perseverance that I can do.
35:22All right, we, we talked about who your family thought Eric Dane was.
35:27But who do you think Eric Dane was?
35:32You're the kind, thoughtful, considerate, empathetic, sensitive,
35:53vulnerable, even though afraid to be a time.
35:59Person who cares a lot.
36:02It's hard to be somebody who's extraordinarily sensitive.
36:05It's to feel as, as deeply and intensely as I feel all the time.
36:10Yeah.
36:12It's exhausting.
36:14And now, are people gentler with, I guess they are,
36:17people are probably much gentler with you now.
36:19I'm much gentler with them.
36:22Yeah.
36:23Do you have regrets?
36:25Tons.
36:27Yes.
36:28What?
36:30I regret some of the decisions I made, some of the choices I made.
36:35Surrounding drugs and alcohol.
36:38Have you forgiven yourself for them?
36:43Well, there are a couple things.
36:45I mean, yeah, no, I'm, I'm feeling like I'm letting go of pretty much everything.
36:52What's that feel like?
36:54It's very freeing.
36:56So what if you don't like me?
37:01Man, I wish I could feel like this when I was, like, you know, able-bodied and strong and healthy.
37:09It's almost like it flipped.
37:11Your inside became your outside, your outside became your inside.
37:14Yeah.
37:17I don't mind that.
37:19But at the same time, I'm not going to be around for my kids for a lot.
37:25And most likely I won't be around to, you know, walk my kids and my girls down the aisle and,
37:33you know, have grandkids.
37:35And that's, um, that's a tough thing to deal with.
37:43Have you thought about getting to a point where you say, I think I might be done?
37:48Yes.
37:51Yes, I have a set of circumstances that I don't think I'm willing to deal with.
37:58I may feel differently at this time, but I guess by the time anybody sees us, they will have known
38:06if I stuck to them.
38:08But I'll tell you, if, uh, if I can't communicate with my daughters anymore and I can't move, I don't
38:18want to be here.
38:23I know you've done a lot of work to try and raise money and to get politicians to be, um,
38:30actively working to get government funding behind ALS.
38:33And I know, uh, in, in the recent times, there's been a lot of funding cuts for those things.
38:40Mm-hmm.
38:40Could everyone be doing more?
38:43Yeah, I mean, it's kind of silly.
38:47Um, apparently, from what I gather, uh, the research is fueled by money.
38:55And it's just a money problem.
38:57Um, if they had unlimited funds of research, we would find a solution to this pretty quick.
39:05Yeah, well, there's only 31,000 people in the ALS in this country.
39:11There's 340 million people in the United States of America.
39:16I think it's hard to understand the concept of a single life.
39:24Um, and how big that single life can be and how many people it affects around them when you're an
39:32executive
39:33looking at, uh, numbers.
39:39I still can't believe this is happening to me.
39:43I mean, it's weird.
39:46You know, I didn't think this was, uh, gotta be the end of the road for me.
39:53And this was never a part of the story I had created for myself.
39:58You know, I didn't think I, I wouldn't get something as
40:05crazy and deadly as ALS. Like, why would I get something like that?
40:13You know, I'm healthy, but I don't feel sorry for myself.
40:23I feel bad for my kids and Rebecca and my friends.
40:28But I've, I've never felt sorry for myself.
40:32It's remarkable.
40:34I don't know what it is, man. Like I said, there is absolutely no logical explanation
40:43for me to, um, be dealing with this the way I've been dealing with it.
40:50I mean, it almost feels like something was taken from you.
40:55A spirit was taken from you when you were seven and what happened with your dad.
40:59And this is, in some ways, allowed you to have it back.
41:04I guess so. Yeah.
41:08Yeah.
41:12That's pretty good, Brad.
41:17Is there anything that you would want to leave out there before?
41:22I never murdered anybody, Brad.
41:26I believe you. I believe you. I don't, I, I can't imagine you ever really hurt anybody,
41:31truly hurt anybody.
41:32I'm, I'm punched a couple of people, but they deserve it.
41:36There you go. Sometimes you gotta punch people.
41:39That's true.
41:40What were the, why, why did you punch them?
41:43Well, somebody came at me, and I saw them.
41:47Did you connect?
41:48Oh, yeah.
41:49Yeah.
41:52I don't have anything really crazy to confess.
41:56I kind of wish I did.
41:59I've had a lot of fun.
42:03Some of it healthy, some of it very, very unhealthy.
42:08But you look back fondly on all of it.
42:11Most of it.
42:13Most of it.
42:15Okay.
42:16So, we've come to the end of the conversation.
42:19It's been pretty transformative for me.
42:23And the way you demonstrated what perseverance means, and what being present means.
42:30So, thank you for being so honest.
42:32Thank you for allowing me to have this conversation with you.
42:38I mean, I think this is probably the most, um,
42:43revealing and in-depth conversation I've had with just about anybody.
42:48I'm really glad.
42:50You asked, uh, the right questions.
42:54You, you are an excellent tennis partner to, to do this with.
43:00Thank you for saying that.
43:03And so now I'm going to leave the room.
43:06And they have an opportunity to say goodbye in your own words.
43:10And you're going to look at that camera over there.
43:13And I hope that Georgia and Billy know their dad after watching this.
43:18So, thank you, Eric.
43:21Thank you, Brad.
43:31Billy and Georgia, these words are for you.
43:36I tried.
43:39I stumbled sometimes, but I tried.
43:43Overall, we had a blast, didn't we?
43:47I remember all the times we spent at the beach.
43:50The two of you, me and mom, in Malibu, Santa Monica.
44:01Santa Monica, Hawaii, Mexico.
44:05I see you now playing in the ocean for hours, my water babies.
44:12Those days, pun intended, were heaven.
44:17I want to tell you four things I've learned from this disease.
44:21And I hope you won't just listen to me.
44:24I hope you'll hear me.
44:28First, live now.
44:31Right now.
44:33In the present.
44:35It's hard, but I learned to do that.
44:38For years, I would wander off mentally, lost in my head for a long chunk of time,
44:45wallowing in worry and self-pity, shame, and doubt.
44:50I'd replay decisions, second-guess myself.
44:53I should have done this.
44:55I never should have done that.
44:57No more.
45:00Out of pure survival, I am forced to stay in the present.
45:05But I don't want to be anywhere else.
45:08The past contains regrets.
45:11The future remains unknown.
45:13So you have to live now.
45:17The present is all you have.
45:20Treasure it.
45:21Cherish every moment.
45:24Second, fall in love.
45:27Not necessarily with a person, although I do recommend that as well.
45:33But fall in love with something.
45:35Find your passion, your joy.
45:38Find the thing that makes you want to get up in the morning.
45:43Drive you through the entire day.
45:46I fell in love for the first time when I was about your age.
45:50I fell in love with acting.
45:52That love eventually got me through my darkest hours.
45:56My darkest days.
45:58My darkest years.
46:01I still love my work.
46:03I still look forward to it.
46:05I still want to get in front of a camera and play my part.
46:10My work doesn't define me, but it excites me.
46:14Find something.
46:17Find something that excites you.
46:20Find your path.
46:21Your purpose.
46:23Your dream.
46:25Then go for it.
46:27Really go for it.
46:30Third, choose your friends wisely.
46:35Find your people and allow them to find you.
46:39And then give yourselves to them.
46:42The best of them will give back to you.
46:45No judgment.
46:47No conditions.
46:48No questions asked.
46:51I'm so thankful for my very close family and friends.
46:55Every single one has stepped up.
46:58I can't do even the little things I used to do.
47:02I can't drive around town, go to the gym, get coffee, hang out.
47:07I've learned to embrace alternatives.
47:10My friends come to me.
47:12We eat together, watch a game, listen to music.
47:16They don't do anything special.
47:18They just show up.
47:20That's a big one.
47:21Just show up.
47:24And love your friends and everything you have.
47:29Hang on to them.
47:31They will entertain you, guide you, help you, support you, and some will save you.
47:41Finally, fight with every ounce of your being and with dignity.
47:49When you face challenges, health or otherwise, fight.
47:55Never give up.
47:57Fight until your last breath.
48:01This disease is slowly taking my body, but it will never take my spirit.
48:10The two of you are different people.
48:13But you're both strong and resilient.
48:17You inherited resiliency from me.
48:21That's my superpower.
48:23You knock me down, I bounce right up, but I keep coming back.
48:27I get up again, and again, and again.
48:32Mark says I'm like a cat, except a cat has nine lives, and I'm on number 15.
48:39Easily.
48:41So when something unexpected hits you, and it will, because that's life, fight and face it with honesty, integrity, and
48:49grace, even if it feels or seems formidable.
48:54I hope I've demonstrated that you can face anything, you can face the end of your days, you can face
49:01hell with dignity.
49:04Fight, girls, and hold your heads high.
49:08Good night, Billy and Georgia, you are my heart, you are my everything.
49:16Good night, I love you.
49:18Those are my last words.
50:04To be continued...
50:21To be continued...
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