- 7 hours ago
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00:00Oh
00:18Are you insane
00:30Elaine, I've been attacked that gang of lunatics were shooting blueberries at me
00:40Elaine Denton reporting live from port when inside the offices of doc martin
00:47Victim whatever that is we don't have time for it, okay?
00:50We have a packed schedule and I need you to secure the perimeter unaware that his first patient was already in the exam room
00:57Doc martin was apparently also unaware of the fact that this weekend is the annual blueberry festival
01:04A tragic turn of events for a tragic man named doc martin who was a doctor
01:17I just love the blueberry festival the street fair the tarts the pies stop talking and open your mouth
01:23I'm gonna be getting in the vat and stomping blueberries to make wine not with this foot fungus you're not
01:30I'm deathly allergic to blueberries, but I want to eat like a lot of pie
01:33So can you give me a pill that makes it okay?
01:35Yes, of course really no
01:39That way
01:41Elaine we only have five minutes for lunch. Why don't you go out and get where is everyone?
01:44Faced with an empty waiting room doc martin finally had room
01:50To feel empty will you stop with that voice have to get this reporter thing right?
01:55I'm covering the blueberry festival on my live stream. I want it to look professional i'm dressing up as newscaster smurf screams professional
02:02We have eight patients this afternoon and my aunt's supposed to be next. Where is she?
02:06Yeah, everybody canceled
02:09No one is going to the doctor on a friday afternoon during the blueberry festival
02:13Actually, shouldn't you be getting ready to ready for what you're gonna be a judge in the big blueberry pie contest tomorrow?
02:18Oh, no, I'm not
02:19Okay, but you are because dr. Reese was always a judge. Yeah, but i'm not dr. Reese
02:22I am here with a local
02:24Old old man who is disoriented and confused. He thinks that he can ignore one of our most beloved traditions
02:32Beloved traditions, please you people would throw a parade at a new stoplight. I'm not a pie judge. I'm a physician. Where are you going?
02:39I'm going to see my next scheduled patient
02:41More on this developing story as it develops reporting alive from over here by my desk. I am elaine denton for eyewitness blues
02:52That was it. That was it
02:55Okay, all the festival blues. Yep, they're going right there
02:59All right now doc all right now
03:10Hey, good morning
03:12That's up for you see it's a pie contest judge martin
03:23Okay, okay and the dunk tank it's going right over there. Oh, hey sorry. Give me a second
03:29Ah
03:39Stop following me. Just go away. Put that down. It's not mine shoe
03:44Ah
03:51Well
03:52Good morning to you
03:54Good morning perfect weather for the festival wouldn't you say hmm?
03:58Well, you seem to be taking it very seriously my favorite time of year
04:02And doesn't all that bother your skin or your eyelids all that face paint face paint
04:07Hmm
04:09What face paint?
04:11I
04:13I
04:15I
04:17I
04:19I
04:21I
04:23I
04:25I
04:27I
04:29I
04:31I
04:33I
04:35I
04:37I
04:39I
04:41I
04:43I
04:45I
04:47I
04:49I
04:51I
04:53I
04:55I
04:57I've just been thinking that we should spend more time together and look now here you are
05:01I've come here to give you your physical
05:03What?
05:05Your file says you haven't had a checkup in three years
05:07Why don't you hop up on the counter and we'll take a look at you
05:09We gotta be joking
05:11There's nothing funny about a 73 year old woman avoiding her annual urinalysis now up you go
05:15If you think I'm going to let you examine me in my own kitchen then I'm gonna have to fillet you with my boning knife
05:21And so I need you to take this seriously
05:23You may be my doctor but you're also my nephew and right now we're having lunch
05:27So wash your hands
05:29Honestly
05:31Honestly
05:33You know they've asked me to be a judge at the pie contest
05:37With you
05:39And I said yes I thought that that would be fun
05:43I hear that Elizabeth Evans
05:45Is making some kind of blueberry meringue or something like that
05:51Are you really taking all these medications?
05:53Well two of them are for my high blood pressure and the rest are I don't know
05:57Osteoporosis acid reflux
05:59High cholesterol good God woman
06:01You're a ticking time bomb
06:03And this fried fish for lunch isn't helping the situation either
06:07Have you thought about getting some exercise maybe some leafy greens in your diet?
06:10Dr. Reese told me to avoid the leafy greens because they might interact badly with my blood thinner
06:15And I might pass out or something
06:17And kale tastes like crap
06:19There's a new medication on the market that won't have those complications
06:21I'll write you a prescription
06:23In the meantime we're gonna have a chat about skipping medical appointments at your advanced age
06:27If you're gonna continue to play doctor
06:29I don't want to eat lunch with you so get out
06:31Just go
06:33See it's pie contest
06:35I'm not judging the pie contest
06:37I think this is delicious
06:43Oh! Judge Martin! What do you prefer? Flaky pie crust or puffy?
06:49You lost me a judge
06:51Judge Martin! Do you enjoy a latticework topping? I don't trust myself to do a leaf pattern
06:57I'm not judging the pie contest
06:59Oh! Martin! Hello! Where are you headed?
07:01Well I'm on my way for some lunch
07:03But it seems like blueberry mania swallowed this town whole
07:05Right! Well that time of year
07:07Which reminds me I've been wondering if you happen to like cinnamon?
07:11I'm scared to ask but why are we talking about spices?
07:13Or maybe vanilla? Or caramel
07:15Little ribbons of caramel
07:17Wrapping gently around your taste buds
07:19Oh no Louisa not you too
07:21I'm sorry I'm not gonna be judging the pie contest
07:23I guess I'm just another desperate pie baker looking for an edge
07:25You've all lost your minds
07:27Maybe but this is a big deal in a small town
07:29I mean it's nice, it's tradition, it's competitive
07:31Yeah, it's also high in fat and sugar
07:33Yeah, but for sure
07:35I don't know what to do
07:37I don't know what to do
07:39But this is a big deal in a small town
07:41I mean it's nice, it's tradition, it's competitive
07:43Yeah, it's also high in fat and sugar
07:45Yeah, but first place is a little blue crown
07:47But Barry Hammers always wins it always
07:49He always takes first always
07:51No the real competition in Portland is for second
07:53Oh wait! What about ginger?
07:55I mean that's an interesting combination, right?
07:57With the blueberries?
07:59Louisa, Louisa, Louisa, I am not gonna be judging
08:01Judge Martin, did these berries look fresh?
08:03No, no, no, listen up everyone
08:05I am the town doctor
08:07My concern is your health
08:09So you can skip your appointments and ignore your wellbeing
08:11But I will not be deciding the winner of your ridiculous contest
08:15because I don't care
08:17Oh!
08:23Consider the ginger
08:25Talk about it later
08:31I'm delighted to have you in for lunch doctor
08:33It was either this or be force fed blueberries in the parking lot
08:35Parking lot. I'll take the garden salad with chicken, please.
08:38Unfortunately, we don't have the garden salad today. I am so sorry.
08:42All right. Steamfish.
08:43No, not that either.
08:45Shepherd's pie, then.
08:46Mm, wouldn't that be lovely? We're out of that one, too.
08:48What do you have in the kitchen?
08:55Today, in the kitchen, we have Greg.
09:00It's this pie contest madness.
09:02Oh, no.
09:02Oh, no. Every year, he decides that he's the chef.
09:05That he can cook. And yet...
09:07No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
09:09I killed this dough! I swear I did!
09:11It's not fair!
09:14I'm not allowed in there.
09:15I'm a pie contest judge.
09:17Conflict of interest. And yes, I heard that you stepped down from your post.
09:21God knows who they're going to get to replace you.
09:24It's going to be a long weekend.
09:26What?
09:27You still might have one last tuna salad in the back fridge.
09:29I hate mayonnaise.
09:31Oh, beggars can't be choosers.
09:33I'll go check.
09:35Tuna salad is delicious.
09:38Lots of mayonnaise.
09:47I'm sorry.
09:49I...
09:49You...
09:50I have to ask.
09:53You're blue.
09:55All of you.
09:56And no makeup.
09:58You're just...
09:58blue.
10:00It's because of all the blueberries I eat.
10:02Are you joking?
10:07You're not...
10:08Oh, no, you can't be serious.
10:10Blueberries wouldn't...
10:11Yo, that's on me, yo.
10:16Oh, I'm so sorry.
10:17Totally...
10:18Totally my...
10:19I just couldn't see it.
10:20Because of my eyes.
10:21Let's have a look.
10:22Doc.
10:22Put your head back.
10:23Okay, I think everything's fine.
10:24It's just allergies.
10:25Happens every year.
10:26Yeah, how about you let me make the diagnosis and you stick to being an idiot?
10:29Seems fair.
10:30All right, you need to come to my office.
10:31I can't, Doc.
10:32I gotta go set up the dunk tank.
10:33Yes, I suppose a dunk tank is more important than you going blind.
10:36Come on, this way.
10:36Okay.
10:40No, this way.
10:41The other way, Mark.
10:42This way.
10:48Yes.
10:52That's ready.
10:53Okay, that's good.
10:54So just, like, keep my face in frame all the time.
10:56Yes.
10:57Like, I'll stay, but...
10:58Shoo.
10:59Go, go, shoo.
11:01You know they replaced you on the judging panel with Bert.
11:04Ooh, big mistake.
11:05You do not want to give my dad that much power.
11:07Power?
11:07It's a pie contest.
11:09Aw.
11:10Come on, Doc.
11:10You know how everything here is just so nice and people are so sweet?
11:14We just need one day a year to be, like, really competitive and vicious.
11:17Like the Purge, but with blueberries.
11:20All right, well, the eyedrops and the warm compress should help your eyes some,
11:24but I strongly suspect you have writer's syndrome.
11:26Really?
11:27Mm-hmm.
11:27I haven't written anything all week.
11:29Maybe a parking ticket and in my dream journal.
11:32R.E.
11:33Writer's syndrome.
11:34Is it painful to urinate, Mark?
11:36Typically, people suffering from writers can't see, can't pee, and can't climb a tree
11:40due to untreated chlamydia.
11:42Chlamydia.
11:43Chlamydia.
11:44The STD chlamydia?
11:46Yes.
11:47How many sexual partners have you had since your breakup with Louisa?
11:51I don't know.
11:52Like four, five, eight.
11:57I think nine.
11:59My friend Gretchen?
12:00Ten.
12:01Debbie?
12:01Eleven.
12:04Doc!
12:04Come on, Doc.
12:06You know what it's like.
12:07Big man, small pond, all the fish jumping into my net.
12:12You get it?
12:12Yeah, I'd rather not.
12:14So you need to notify each of your sexual partners of their exposure.
12:17Wait, Doc.
12:18Notify them?
12:19Like, tell them that I might have given them that they might have chlamydia?
12:23Exactly.
12:24And this will clear up the infection.
12:26Prescription for doxycycline.
12:27Wait, no, wait, Doc.
12:28Doc, wait.
12:29So, like, a prescription that I need to, like, go get filled?
12:33Yes.
12:34I assume you know how these things work.
12:35Elaine, I'm going out to get some food, and nothing is going to stop me.
12:41Okay.
12:41I guess I have to...
12:43Somebody's got to pick up meds from their mommy.
12:45Shut up, Al.
12:46Yes, sir.
13:06That's Barry Hammers.
13:08That's our Blueberry.
13:10Get it?
13:11Blueberry?
13:11Yes, sir.
13:12Coffee, Judge Large.
13:13No charge, of course.
13:15And he's the one who wins first place in the pie contest every year?
13:18Him?
13:19Yeah.
13:19He's basically the Blueberry Festival mascot.
13:22A master baker.
13:23And he's blue.
13:24That's because year in, year out, all he eats is...
13:26No, that's ridiculous.
13:27You could eat every blueberry on the planet.
13:28It wouldn't turn you blue.
13:29You know, I turned orange when I was on that carrot diet.
13:32It's not the same thing, Bert.
13:33Tell that the blueberry.
13:34Judge Large.
13:35Almost done with your complimentary oil chicken.
13:37Ah, thanks, Billy.
13:38And hey, tell the missus I'd love to get my backyard weeded.
13:42No, there must be something wrong with him.
13:44Some condition.
13:44And he's using a...
13:46Leave him alone, Doc.
13:47Poor old blueberry.
13:49Looks a hell of a lot better now than when we were in high school.
13:52Scary berry.
13:53He was a real fright back then.
13:55Scary berry?
13:56Why did they call him that?
13:57Well, hey, Bert, your car's all done.
14:00Excuse me.
14:02My business.
14:04Hey, Billy, how's the bacon coming?
14:07You know, is the bottom still soggy?
14:09Oh, Martin, hi.
14:13I've been looking for you.
14:14I just wanted to apologize for being so forward about the pie contest earlier.
14:17I just think that maybe my ambition got the best of you.
14:20Why is this contest so important to you?
14:23Oh, well, um, I've always loved to bake.
14:25And in the past, I couldn't really try my best because I couldn't outshine Sally, my future
14:31mother-in-law, former future mother-in-law.
14:33I always had to wallow in third place and let her take second year after year.
14:38But now the gloves are off.
14:39You know, I'm not with Mark anymore.
14:41And I've got a brand-new baking trick up my sleeve.
14:44And I don't know, I just feel like maybe if I could just bust out a third place, that
14:47maybe I could get everyone to see me in a new light.
14:49You know how small towns can put you in a box, give you a label?
14:53You're the spinster.
14:54You're the idiot.
14:54You're the grump.
14:55Hi, Judge.
14:56Exactly.
15:00And you?
15:01You're the...
15:04Heartbreaker.
15:05Well, it does seem like a colossal waste of time, energy, and food, but I suppose these
15:16little contests do help to distract people from the dreary realities of living in a dead-end
15:20town.
15:23Well, thank you for that.
15:25But this contest actually really means something to me.
15:29You know, especially this year when I'm trying to prove to myself, actually, that I can be more
15:34than I thought I could.
15:41Now, listen, Johnny.
15:43I let you off the hook last week twice because you were filling mailboxes with fish heads.
15:47All right?
15:47No.
15:48So you're going to do this for me, okay?
15:50Here.
15:50Dude.
15:51This is crazy.
15:52Your name's on the prescription.
15:55The pharmacist is your mom.
15:56Okay, but she's really busy and she may not know this, okay?
15:59Here, come on.
15:59Give you my handcuff.
16:00I'm going to do it.
16:04Your eyes look super grody.
16:06Shut up, Johnny, huh?
16:09Yeah.
16:10You little baby bike.
16:13Sally.
16:14What's supposed to go right here?
16:16Oh, what's for my next trophy, of course?
16:19Oh, but you're a judge this year.
16:21We should not be talking about the pie contest.
16:23Okay, here.
16:24Let me ring you up.
16:25With a new prescription that is $127.90.
16:30What?
16:32$127 a month?
16:33What the hell?
16:34Well, it's this new blood thinner that Dr. Best puts you on.
16:37It's very pricey.
16:38No, no, no.
16:39I'll just stick to the old one.
16:40I'm not paying that.
16:41Well, you do have one refill left.
16:43Should I call Dr. Best to make sure it's okay?
16:45No, no.
16:46I'm keeping him out of my personal health issues from now on.
16:50He comes to lunch and brings a stethoscope.
16:52Oh, is it cold on your skin?
16:54I bet Dr. Best has very warm hands.
16:57Sally.
16:58He's my nephew.
16:59All right.
17:0121.45 then.
17:03Okay.
17:04Oh, hi, honey.
17:05What brings you in?
17:07Oh, hey.
17:07Hey, ma.
17:09I can't really talk right now.
17:10I have this developing crime situation down on Lincoln.
17:12I just need to fill this prescript real fast.
17:15No biggie.
17:16No diggity.
17:19Did Louisa do this to you?
17:21No, mom, stop.
17:22What is it?
17:22No.
17:23Gonorrhea?
17:24Syphilis?
17:25The big H?
17:26The little H?
17:26No, no.
17:27It has nothing like that.
17:29And Louisa has nothing to do with it.
17:32It's, it's, it's chlamydia.
17:39Chlamydia?
17:40Well, that's not so bad.
17:42Everybody's had chlamydia, sweetheart.
17:44At least it's not the crabs.
17:45Crabs are so much worse.
17:47Looking down and seeing those little monsters snapping at you.
17:49Who gave this to you?
17:51Was it that Gretchen?
17:52Elaine's friend?
17:53The one with the face?
17:54They all have faces.
17:55Oh, yeah.
17:56Sounds right.
17:57She's awful.
17:58No.
17:58I don't know.
17:59I don't know.
18:00Honey, relax.
18:02You're a single man now.
18:04Something like this was bound to happen.
18:06I'm actually proud of you.
18:08Sewing your wild oats.
18:09And until this antibiotic kicks in, a good place to dip your doinker for a few minutes
18:14every night is a nice cold glass of 7-Up.
18:17Mom, stop.
18:19Hmm?
18:20Really?
18:21Yeah, honey.
18:23Something about the bubbles.
18:24It's better.
18:50This is Naya.
18:51Something.
18:52Ah, you're not supposed to be here.
18:54I'm still getting ready for tomorrow.
18:56I'm so sorry.
18:56Should I come back at a better time?
18:58Yeah, actually.
18:59This is a mess.
19:00Al can't be my cameraman anymore.
19:02He has to run the dunk tank tomorrow at the street fair.
19:05What are you doing here?
19:06I'm looking to see if Dr. Reese ever treated Barry Hammers.
19:10I need to understand why that man is blue.
19:12Something could actually be wrong with him.
19:14A whole half day off and you can't stop doctoring.
19:16Not going to find any files on there for Barry Hammers.
19:19I'm not.
19:20Blueberry?
19:20He was never a patient here.
19:22Like, ever.
19:23Someone actually told me.
19:24Was it Irma?
19:25I think it was Irma.
19:26Was it Irma?
19:27I don't know if it was Irma specifically.
19:29Irregard-
19:29Told you what?
19:30Irma says that Blueberry had some kind of horrible medical condition when he was in high school.
19:36He had to be seen by some specialist in Bar Harbor.
19:38A specialist?
19:38Yeah.
19:39Hey, listen, listen.
19:41You're going to be my cameraman tomorrow at the festival.
19:43Oh.
19:45I most certainly will not be doing that.
19:47Al is out.
19:47You're the only option that I have left.
19:49And I'm covering the festival from 9 a.m. to midnight tomorrow.
19:51So please wear some comfortable shoes.
19:53Not these.
19:55For the last time, I will not be attending or participating in this godforsaken festival.
20:00What?
20:04What?
20:05What is this look?
20:08No, I just...
20:10I would just like to remind you that there are certain things that I'm doing.
20:15Certain blood things that I am doing.
20:19For you.
20:20Things that I may not want to do, but that I do anyway.
20:24Okay, so maybe you could do something for me that you don't want to do.
20:31This is blackmail.
20:33You are blackmailing me.
20:36And remember, this is the good side of my face.
20:43Doc Martin and Elaine's office, how can I help you today?
20:48Oh, yes.
20:49Okay, yes.
20:50The doctor is needed at the Salty Breeze.
20:54Somebody has burned their hand.
20:57And I will see you tomorrow at the Blueberry Festival at 9 a.m.
21:02Live from Port Wynn.
21:05Have a safe evening.
21:07And good night.
21:09He's been baking around the clock.
21:11Not sleeping.
21:12Not being careful.
21:13It'll be fine.
21:14But what isn't fine is people getting injured because of a pie contest.
21:19No, you can't wrap it up too much.
21:21I need my hand all day tomorrow.
21:22I have to bake.
21:23Do you hear what you're saying?
21:24I have to bake.
21:25You're having a nervous breakdown over a pie contest.
21:27I have to bake.
21:28Greg, honey, this pie contest is giving you an anxiety attack.
21:32Won't it be worth it if I win?
21:34No.
21:35All year long, all I hear about is George's lobster rolls and George's chowder.
21:39People just see me as the money guy.
21:42Some silent partner.
21:44George's less creative other half, but I'm more than that.
21:47Can't you just give him a sedative?
21:49Everyone in this town needs a sedative.
21:51I can't win the pie contest.
21:55Barry will win.
21:56Barry always wins.
21:58But for once, I'd like to just place second, third, honorable mention,
22:04tardist filling.
22:05It would prove that I can make things too, that I'm good with my hands.
22:08Just not this hand.
22:10I know.
22:11I should be happy for all of Barry's success.
22:14Irma told me what a troubled youth he had.
22:17Wait, what do you mean by that?
22:18Just how he rose above all his medical issues to become this local legend.
22:22I was a troubled teen, too.
22:24In high school, the football team locked me in the janitor's closet after I highlighted my hair.
22:31Where's my prize?
22:32So you're saying Barry was sick as a kid?
22:34Terrible illness?
22:35It's just acne, horrible acne, apparently awful, disfiguring.
22:39Irma went to the prom with scary Barry.
22:42So we had bad skin.
22:43And my mother disowned me.
22:45Maybe I should write that in Barry's across the top of my pie.
22:48Greg, honey, hey, look at me.
22:51Look at me.
22:51Look that way.
22:52I love you so much.
22:54But this is not worth it.
22:56Year after year, you whip yourself up into a lather over a blueberry.
22:59Hey, Barry.
23:00Hey!
23:30Oh, are you seeing that?
23:32Ah, okay.
23:34Reporting live from Port Wendt's annual blueberry festival,
23:38I am Elaine Denton.
23:40Let us take this moment to get the reactions
23:43from the man and woman on the street, shall we?
23:47This should be fascinating.
23:49Just seriously.
23:50So it's men and women on the street?
23:52It's everyone on the street.
23:52You want to get a reaction from the pig?
23:55Why don't you ask the pig a question?
23:56Hello. Good, sir.
23:57How are you finding the festival this year?
24:01It's okay.
24:02Okay.
24:03So that's all you're feeling?
24:06Uh, okay.
24:07Oh, no, I'm sorry. I'm asking. It's just okay.
24:10Uh, okay.
24:13Okay.
24:14Have you ever actually hit someone with your rolling pin?
24:20Cobbler, crumble, or crisp,
24:22can anything really compete with pie?
24:27Hello, ma'am.
24:29Have you traveled a great distance
24:31to sample Maine's finest blueberries here in Port Wendt?
24:35Elaine, it's me, Irma.
24:38Hey, how many people are watching my live feed now?
24:40How should I know?
24:41The number is at the top of the screen.
24:43What are you, like a hundred?
24:45Two.
24:46Al and someone named Port Wendy.
24:49That's it?
24:50Nobody else in the whole town is watching my coverage?
24:53It's not the moon landing, and everyone is here.
24:55Oh, it's a disaster.
24:57How am I ever going to get any kind of a national following?
24:59I can't even get my friends and neighbors to watch me.
25:01Wait.
25:02We have another live viewer.
25:05It's your mother.
25:06She's just tuning in now.
25:07No, babe, she's just commenting.
25:09Is that my laser?
25:11Oh, this is something.
25:15This is something.
25:16This is something.
25:17Doc!
25:20All right now, everybody.
25:23One dollar per throw.
25:25All proceeds benefit the Jailhouse Black Mode Removal Fund.
25:30Oh, Kimberly, how are you?
25:32I got your message.
25:33Oh, right, about the notification.
25:36Right.
25:37Just want to keep you aware.
25:38So I just have to go to because it's just I have a dunk tank thing that I'm kind of doing right now.
25:42My mother heard the voicemail you left me.
25:45She did.
25:45I'm going to kill you.
25:46Okay.
25:47Okay.
25:48You know, we don't need to, like, hurl.
25:49Just, you know, we can.
25:51Okay, so if we just.
25:53Marilyn, Yvonne, Gretchen.
25:56Oh, you guys got my call.
25:58That's good because.
26:00That's good because I sometimes went to voicemail.
26:02I wasn't sure.
26:02Okay, ladies.
26:03Let's just remember that this is a game, huh?
26:05It's all for fun.
26:06During the normal turnout at the dunk tank this year.
26:09All of the players seem very motivated.
26:11Your bitches are just so angry.
26:14Okay.
26:15Woo!
26:15Okay.
26:16Whoa!
26:16That was a real slammer there, Karen.
26:18That was.
26:18Get down there.
26:18Woo!
26:19My name is Cameron.
26:20Carol.
26:21I meant.
26:22I knew that.
26:23She feels very strongly about eradicating that jailhouse molt.
26:27It's just like you got to put some high heat on that one.
26:29Woo!
26:29Okay.
26:30That was.
26:31Wah!
26:31I felt it.
26:35Everything got like, whooped.
26:40Okay.
26:46Okay, okay.
26:47Enough, enough.
26:47Back up.
26:48Lady, come on.
26:49Come on.
26:49Enough, enough.
26:50Okay, enough.
26:51Is this embarrassing for me?
26:58Yes.
27:01Attention.
27:02Attention, everybody.
27:03It's almost time.
27:04The judges have finished their final tasting round.
27:06And soon we'll begin the award ceremony for the annual Port Wen blueberry pie contest.
27:12Now, somewhere in the crowd.
27:14Could be this year's winner.
27:15Who will it be?
27:15Come on in, Allegiant.
27:17I'll grab a seat.
27:18Oh, wait.
27:18Oh, wait.
27:19We're at capacity.
27:21Sorry.
27:22Well, that's not my fault.
27:23Come on.
27:23You guys shouldn't know.
27:25No, no.
27:27You know better than that.
27:28Let's go ahead.
27:44Perfect.
27:45I get some rest of it every time.
27:49Oh, sorry.
27:53Perfect.
27:55Tucked snugly into a crowded firehouse.
27:58Completely shut out every year.
28:01Left behind every year.
28:02I'm trying to watch this.
28:03Oh, of course.
28:04Of course.
28:05I'm sorry.
28:06Okay, how many people are watching now?
28:07On the live feed, I mean.
28:09One.
28:10Joss, my mom?
28:11Okay.
28:12I'll need it inside then.
28:13Okay.
28:14All right.
28:14All right.
28:15This is so stressful.
28:17Get a hold of yourself.
28:21Louisa, you're cutting off the circulation in your fingers.
28:25Just another simple person trying to distract herself from the dreary reality, I suppose.
28:30I didn't mean to imply that you were simple.
28:32I was only...
28:34It's just a pie contest.
28:36No, it's more than that.
28:37But you wouldn't understand because you don't want to understand.
28:39And you don't want to understand because you actually don't give a crap.
28:41I'm number two.
28:44I'm number two.
28:46Good evening.
28:47Good afternoon.
28:48Mom.
28:49I'm Elaine Denton recording, reporting live inside Legion Hall where judging has just commenced.
28:57Demenced.
28:58Has ended.
28:59Ended.
29:00Basically, they've eaten all the pies and soon we'll know the winner.
29:04Live.
29:04With me.
29:05Your daughter.
29:07For blue witness eyes.
29:10Eyewitness blues.
29:11Ladies and gentlemen, good afternoon.
29:16We, the judges, have come up with our final decisions.
29:18Now, as you know, this is a blind taste test.
29:21And it is my job, privilege, honor, to announce that in third place, Pie 21.
29:29Come on.
29:31What?
29:32That's me.
29:33That's me.
29:34No.
29:35That's me.
29:36No.
29:36That's me.
29:37Wow.
29:38Big upset.
29:39Greg Garrison has taken third place.
29:42Also, Mom, can I keep the blazer?
29:46I think it looks good on me.
29:49It's a big blazer right in my place.
29:51I knew you could do it.
29:53I always went for it.
29:56Always.
29:56Wait.
29:57Does this mean...
29:59And in second place, we chose Pie No. 7.
30:09C'est moi.
30:11Well, Mom, you were right.
30:12Sally Milo has taken second place again this year.
30:16Wait.
30:17Wait.
30:17What does this mean?
30:19I could have you.
30:21Dad, have I...
30:22Have I taken first?
30:27And thank you.
30:29In first place...
30:31Excuse me.
30:34In first place is Pie 13.
30:39What?
30:43Oh.
30:45Again?
30:45And as always, Barry Hammers takes first place in the annual Portland Pie Baking Contest.
30:52I didn't even...
30:53I didn't even place?
31:07Hey, Sarah.
31:08I'm fine.
31:13No.
31:13Your heartbeat is weak and irregular.
31:15How long until the ambulance gets here?
31:16Ten minutes.
31:17They're all out of the hospital.
31:18Oh, we can take her in my car?
31:19No, we need the oxygen.
31:20We can do ten minutes.
31:21Okay.
31:22You just need to hold still and be quiet.
31:25Okay?
31:32Oh, um...
31:33Clear the street outside of Legion Hall.
31:34An ambulance is coming for Sarah.
31:36And everybody think good thoughts.
31:37She's gonna be okay.
31:39Okay.
31:39We're waiting for the ambulance.
31:40She's okay.
31:41Just waiting for the ambulance.
31:42I don't understand.
31:43She was fine all day.
31:45Right up until the last round of judging.
31:46When did she start feeling ill?
31:47We ate so much.
31:48I think it started just when we were tasting the last few pies.
31:53Those pies.
31:54Well, she is on a wide assortment of medications.
31:57Possible some ingredient in one of the pies is interacting badly with...
32:02Which of those pies did she eat last?
32:03Um, um, that one.
32:04Number seven.
32:05Oh, that's my pie.
32:06Okay.
32:06I need you to tell me exactly what's in your pie right now.
32:09Every ingredient.
32:10Oh, it's, uh, nothing unusual.
32:12Um, lard.
32:13Lard in the, um, organic wheat crust.
32:16Mm-hmm.
32:16And, uh, sugar, cornstarch, lemon, blueberries, of course.
32:21Oh, do I have to say it?
32:23Yes!
32:24Just a sprinkle of powdered MSG.
32:28My mother always said it made the blueberries pop.
32:33And anyways, nothing.
32:34I was like, no, barely nothing there.
32:36Monosodium glutamate would only cause a slight increase in heart rate.
32:39That's not what's happening here.
32:40It's not the MSG.
32:41But that MSG is a violation of contest rules.
32:44All organic, all homegrown ingredients.
32:46You cheated.
32:47Sally Milo, I'm afraid we have to eliminate you from the competition.
32:51No.
32:52No, George.
32:52No.
32:53Well, who made that pie?
32:55Number 14, over there.
32:56But that would have been in fourth place, right?
32:58That's mine.
32:59That's, that's my pie.
33:03Oh, um, hello, everyone.
33:05A very surprising turn of events here at the pie contest.
33:10Pie, everyone, everyone!
33:12What pie did Sarah eat before Sally's?
33:14Oh, that one.
33:14Pie 13.
33:15Yeah, yeah, that's Blueberry's blueberry pie.
33:17I can guarantee you that the ingredients in my pie are, as always, 100% organic and homegrown.
33:23Did you grow your ingredients yourself?
33:25Yes.
33:25And do you use any fertilizers or pesticides?
33:27How dare you even ask me that?
33:30Do you even know what organic means?
33:32Are we going to really let this outsider come into our town and question me?
33:37Blueberry, the Blueberry Festival mascot?
33:40Excuse me, I was merely asking if...
33:42And I am merely telling you that I was guaranteed my pie's ingredients were 100% certified organic.
33:52Wait.
33:54You were guaranteed by whom?
33:56By me.
33:56I guarantee me.
33:59You bought that pie, didn't you?
34:01No, of course not.
34:03I don't care if that pie came from your kitchen or the dumpster behind the salty breeze.
34:06I only care about my aunt's life.
34:07Now, do you or do you not know what's in that pie?
34:10I don't know.
34:12I bought it.
34:14Online.
34:16But there was nothing unusual in it.
34:17I swear to you.
34:18I swear.
34:20I wish I could describe the feeling in the room right now.
34:23It is electric.
34:24You're Blueberry because of all the blueberries you eat.
34:29Because year in and year out, around the clock, you're baking blueberry pies.
34:34I don't even know how to cook.
34:36Oh, my gosh.
34:38And it's not from blueberries, Bert.
34:40He's been using colloidal silver for, what, 40 years?
34:43You saw that dermatologist when you were a teenager and he prescribed it for your chronic acne, right?
34:48But he was only supposed to use the lotion for two months, not decades.
34:51And he turned himself blue, which is a long-term side effect of overuse.
34:55You have to stop using it.
34:57I liked being blue.
34:59It became my identity.
35:02Gave me a place in this town.
35:05I wasn't the freak anymore.
35:07I was a mascot.
35:10At least I made my pie.
35:14If I'm out, so see.
35:16Oh, my God.
35:17It is moments like these that remind us why we are alive and why we bake pies.
35:22And what about you, Louisa?
35:23What's in yours?
35:24Oh, nothing.
35:26I mean, nothing that could hurt her.
35:27But didn't you say you had a new baking trick up your sleeve?
35:29What was it?
35:29I soaked the blueberries in spinach water for 24 hours before baking.
35:32Oh.
35:33I read about it in an old French cookbook.
35:35It's supposed to keep the berries sweet.
35:36But I promise, I grew the spinach myself and I didn't break any rules.
35:38I never break any rules.
35:38Well, fresh blueberries in cold water would absorb a massive amount of calcium and oxalate from fresh spinach.
35:43And her old blood thinners would have reacted negatively, but I switched her to a new medication so that...
35:47She didn't take the new medication because it was too expensive.
35:50She's still on the old blood thinner.
35:52I knew we should have called you.
35:54The ambulance is almost here.
35:55It's the spinach.
35:56Oh, no.
35:57She needs a shot of heparin.
35:58She's going to be okay.
35:58Let's just sit her up.
35:59I'm glad she's going to be okay, but I can't.
36:01Over here.
36:02Just right this way.
36:03Just over here.
36:03I just can't believe that I won the...
36:08Well, I guess you'll be making my favorites all month.
36:14Fried chicken and mac and cheese and that...
36:16Al, stop talking.
36:17What?
36:17Gregory Denise Garrison.
36:19Did you just tell Bert that we would...
36:21Well, I would make his favorite meals if you won the pie contest?
36:24Oh, wait, wait.
36:24It's not over yet, folks.
36:26No, of course not.
36:27I would never.
36:27I mean, I may have mentioned as a joke that we would cater to his tastes for a bit.
36:34And if I were to place in the contest, I may have pointed out which pie was mine.
36:39I don't know.
36:40This contest makes me crazy.
36:42Well, Sarah is on her way to the hospital.
36:44Doc Martin says she's going to be fine.
36:46But if I'm not mistaken, there is one last twist in the pie judging.
36:50And yes, here it comes.
36:52Gregory Garrison, you were summarily disqualified from the competition for unscrupulous behavior.
36:57We will talk tonight.
36:58He is out, Greg is gone, and like a phoenix rising from the ashes.
37:02Which means the official and final winner of this year's annual Porkwind Blueberry Pie Making Contest is...
37:09Can you believe what we are seeing here today?
37:12Louisa Gavin.
37:14Woo-hoo-hoo!
37:20Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
37:23Can I actually get Sarah to the hospital?
37:24No, no, you stay.
37:25She'll be fine.
37:27You did it.
37:28You deserve this.
37:29You won.
37:34Catch her.
37:35Oh, I...
37:37Oh, I...
37:39Oh, my gosh, oh, my gosh, oh, my gosh, oh, my gosh.
38:00Did I scare you?
38:14Yes.
38:15I don't like the idea of being in this stupid town without you, and if you couldn't afford
38:27the new medication, you should have told me.
38:28I'm sorry, Martin, I just...
38:30I'm sorry, Martin, I just...
38:31I was so annoyed because...
38:35I thought you were coming for lunch, but you didn't.
38:42I'm not just...
38:44I'm just trying to make up for lost time.
38:49I just want to...
38:50You want to spend more time with me?
38:53Yeah.
38:54Well, I may have rejected the role of pie, Judge, but I will accept the role of your nephew,
39:07and you can be my weekly lunch date, guaranteed.
39:11Twice a week.
39:14Provided you follow lunch with a brisk walk of at least 10,000 steps.
39:1810,000 steps?
39:20Mm-hmm.
39:20And no more fried cod.
39:23Hello.
39:24Would anyone care for tonight's dessert?
39:26Ice cream.
39:33No.
39:36Oh.
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