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The Abbott And Costello Show 1940-1949 Old Time Radio. This is a collection of radio episodes from the legendary comedy team of Bud Abbott and Lou Costello.
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00:00The Abbott and Costello program starring Bud Abbott and Lou Costello, brought to you by
00:20Camel, the cigarette of costlier, properly aged tobacco.
00:23The Abbott and Costello program with the modern rhythm of Will Osborne and his orchestra, Iris
00:30Adrian, our singing star, Connie Haynes, and spotlighting that chunky, chubby little cherub
00:36who, when caught throwing eggs in the electric fan because he heard his Uncle Artie Stebbins
00:41liked his eggs scrambled, calmly says, I'm a bad boy!
00:53Ah-ha, there you are, Costello.
01:06Come here, Costello.
01:08Do you realize that I've been looking all over town for you?
01:10What are you doing in this beauty parlor?
01:12Ah, this is my beauty parlor, Abbott!
01:15What do you mean?
01:15I made up my mind that I was going to start off the new year a success.
01:18Yes.
01:18So I bought it, see?
01:19That's my name on the window, Louis A. Costello.
01:22Louis A. Costello, what does the A stand for?
01:24Ah, that stands for my middle name, Atomic Bomb.
01:28Your middle name is Atomic Bomb?
01:30Oh, yeah.
01:31The day I was born, my father took one look at me and blew up.
01:34Oh.
01:35Please, Costello, talk, Sam.
01:37How can a dummy like you run a beauty shop?
01:39Oh, I've got a lot of business with my new slogan, Abbott.
01:42See it there on the wall?
01:43What does it say?
01:43I'm going to read it.
01:45Louis Costello removes all wrinkles from your sister, your puppy, your mummy.
01:49I take the wrinkles out of your face and drop them down to your tummy.
01:53Oh.
01:55See, I think the poem is Bummy.
01:57Bummy, yes, yes.
01:59This is the silliest thing I've ever heard of.
02:02You're no beauty expert.
02:03What's the matter with you?
02:04Oh, no?
02:04I just concocted a new hair grower, Abbott.
02:07It's wonderful.
02:08Now, now, don't hand me that stuff.
02:09There's no preparation that can grow hair.
02:11Oh, all I know is I spilled some on my cat last night.
02:13And what happened?
02:14We've got the only cat in Hollywood that looks like Jerry Colonna.
02:16Oh, please.
02:17Hey, Abbott, this stuff will even grow hair on a billiard ball.
02:20Does it really work?
02:21Yeah, but it sure slows up the game.
02:28Costello, why did you open up this beauty parlor without my wife's advice?
02:31Huh?
02:31You, you, why did you open this up without my wife's advice?
02:34You know that my wife is an expert beautician.
02:36Didn't you ever see my wife waving her hair?
02:38No, but I saw her shaking it out the window.
02:40I know.
02:41Now, stop that.
02:42Never mind that.
02:44Your wife, Barbara Fritchie.
02:45Never mind that.
02:46Shaking it out the window.
02:47Yes, yes, yes.
02:48My wife is also an expert at facial massage.
02:51Every morning she massages her face with a juice of a lemon.
02:55I wondered what gave her that sour puss.
02:57Here, here, here, Costello.
02:59Now, now.
03:00I resent that, Costello.
03:02People have told me that my wife resembles Veronica Lake.
03:05Yeah, she wears her nose over one eye.
03:07She does.
03:07Here, here, here, Costello.
03:09I mean, I'm going to sell your wife good tonight.
03:13Well, I'll talk to you after the program.
03:15Costello, I can tell you that you know absolutely nothing about running a beauty shop.
03:19Look, suppose a woman came in here right now and asked for a shampoo.
03:22Shampoo what?
03:23Uh, uh, poo, poo.
03:25Poo-poo to your girl!
03:27Look, look, look, look, look.
03:28How would you give a hen a rinse?
03:31How would I what?
03:32How would you give a hen a rinse?
03:33I'd take the hen and give her a pail of water.
03:36No, no, no, you idiot.
03:37I didn't say hen.
03:38I said henna.
03:39Henna is a shade of a hair.
03:41Uh, what kind of shade does your girl have?
03:43I don't know.
03:44She never pulls it down.
03:46No, no, no.
03:47Henna is a color.
03:48For example, your girlfriend has henna-colored hair.
03:50She's t-shin'.
03:51She's what?
03:51Your girlfriend is t-shin'.
03:53No, she ain't.
03:54She quit t-shin' when she was a baby.
03:56She's got all her t-sh.
03:57Uh-oh.
03:58T-sh.
03:59Yeah, t-sh.
03:59She cleans her t-sh every night with toothpaste.
04:02There you go with that.
04:03Who writes this stuff?
04:04Never mind that stuff.
04:06Look, uh, there's all that silly talk of yours.
04:09Costello, you'll never get a customer to come to this beauty shop.
04:11Oh, yes, I will have it.
04:12No, you won't.
04:12Yes, I'm sending out these wonderful pictures.
04:14Just look at them at it.
04:15It's a picture of Monty Willie in a nightshirt.
04:17Oh, you dope.
04:18Those are calendars for the new year.
04:20That old man is Father Time.
04:22Oh, is that Father Time?
04:23Sure.
04:25You see, he's got a long, wide beard,
04:27and that thing he's holding is a sickle.
04:29Do you know what a sickle is for?
04:30Sure, to cut his beard.
04:31No, no, no, no, no, no.
04:32Oh, pay no attention to me.
04:35Whenever you see Father Time,
04:36you'll find the old man sickle.
04:38Oh, the old man sickle?
04:39Certainly.
04:39Why don't you call a doctor?
04:40Look, Costello, please.
04:41Well, they shouldn't let the old man run around sickle, have it?
04:43No, no, no.
04:43He's liable to catch the hoop-a-couple.
04:45No, no, I don't mean it that way.
04:46That could develop in the stretch of cockle.
04:48No, no, no.
04:49What are you talking about?
04:49You'll wind up in the hospital.
04:51No, no, no, Costello.
04:52The sickle I'm talking about...
04:53The poor old man is so sickle.
04:54Will you listen to me, please?
04:55Look, look, Costello, the sickle I'm talking about...
04:58That the cockle is awful.
04:59But you don't know what I'm talking about.
05:00That's a bird germical.
05:01But, Lou, please.
05:02The sickle I'm talking about is a scythe.
05:04See?
05:05The old man is holding his scythe.
05:06Well, if he's holding his scythe,
05:07then that must be the scythe he's sickle on.
05:10No, no.
05:10What are you talking about, please?
05:12Well, you said if he was sickle,
05:13he was holding his scythe.
05:14If he's sickle on his right side,
05:16that could be very dangerous.
05:17He might have appendicicle.
05:19Oh, look, please, Costello.
05:21For the time and the sickle represent the new year.
05:23And this little baby picture alongside of him on the calendar
05:26is the new year.
05:27Oh, he's a cute little baby abbot.
05:29But he certainly wears expensive clothes.
05:31Expensive clothes.
05:31Look at the price tag on his diaper.
05:331946.
05:351946 is the new year.
05:41What's wrong with you, Costello?
05:43Huh?
05:431946 is the new year.
05:45And for the time is the old year.
05:46Now, next Monday night,
05:47we ring out the old man and...
05:48Wait a minute, wait a minute.
05:49Why ring out the old man?
05:51Yeah.
05:52No, no, no.
05:53All right, never mind.
05:53Look, I'll tell you what we do.
05:54Now, look, please, just keep quiet.
05:56I'll tell you what we do.
05:57I give up everything.
05:58You understand?
05:58I give up, too, kid.
05:59All right, all right.
06:00Just give up.
06:00Just don't say a word.
06:01It's no supercensus.
06:02They should give up, too.
06:03Look, I don't know why I always waste time with you.
06:04I'm going home.
06:05Oh, Abbott, please don't go.
06:07I want you to try my new haircutting machine.
06:08Just stick your head in here,
06:09and I'll turn it on.
06:10Go ahead.
06:12Hey, Abbott, this machine is wonderful.
06:13It changes your whole appearance.
06:15What do you mean, change my whole appearance?
06:17What did you do to my head?
06:18Oh, I just brought out the natural brilliance.
06:21Would you say I'm no longer a blonde?
06:23No, I wouldn't say that.
06:24Would you say I was a redhead?
06:25No, I wouldn't say that either.
06:26Would you say I was a brunette?
06:28Definitely not.
06:29Then for heaven's sakes,
06:30what would you call me?
06:31Hello, Baldy.
06:32Hello, Baldy.
06:33Hello, Costello's B-Shop.
06:46Do you do up ladies' hair in buns?
06:48Yes, I do.
06:48What do you do with all the crumbs?
06:52Hey, that's a very funny joke.
06:53I think I'll pull it on Abbott.
06:54Hey, Abbott, do you do up ladies' hair in buns?
06:56No, I always put a redhead in their hair.
06:58Now, what am I going to do with the crumbs?
07:00Oh, you're stuck, aren't you?
07:04No, I can always give the crumbs to the rat.
07:06Look, why don't you cut out these stale jokes
07:08and get busy and clean up this place?
07:10Throw those dirty towels in that hamper over there.
07:12Okay.
07:16Costello.
07:17Costello, what happened?
07:18What kind of towels were those?
07:20Cannon towels.
07:23Hey, I think that went over with a bang, didn't it?
07:28Oh, let me out of here.
07:29Oh, let me out of here.
07:30I've got to get out of here.
07:31Please, let me out of here
07:32so I can play with those other little rabbits.
07:34Hey, who are you?
07:35Oh, just a little ingrown hair.
07:40That guy looks as...
07:42Hey.
07:44Well, that guy looks as dumb as a rabbit.
07:46And he does it good, too, don't he?
07:49He's dumber than a rabbit.
07:50A rabbit knows his arithmetic.
07:53Yeah, surely.
07:55Hey.
07:56Is this a beauty shop?
07:58Yeah, yes, it is.
07:59Well, save me your beauty for eight o'clock, huh?
08:04Hey, you know, I passed your house last night
08:06and I saw the Christmas tree lit up on the porch.
08:07Oh, the tree is in the living room.
08:09That was me.
08:13Costello, what kind of a place is this?
08:15You haven't had a customer today.
08:17Oh, hey, Abel, look who's coming across the street.
08:19It's the actress, Bessie Mamucho.
08:21Hello, boys.
08:23I just dropped in to congratulate you on the opening of your new shop.
08:27I think it's just too, too enchanting.
08:29Yes, yes.
08:30It's the beam.
08:31I'd like to make an appointment for Saturday afternoon.
08:40So, Saturday afternoon.
08:42Ah, yes, Abby.
08:43You know what Saturday is.
08:45That's the day after fruit day.
08:48And the day before Sunday.
08:51Yes, I'm going to see the big football classic,
08:53New Year's Day out at Pasadena.
08:55Oh, yes, Pasadena.
08:57Lovely place.
08:58That's the home of the Rose Bulls.
09:02I could have said some now.
09:05I can hardly wait to see all Obama play.
09:07Are you betting on all Obama?
09:09No, I'm putting all my Mooney on the Trugans.
09:12Oh, Mr. Costello, you are the cutest man.
09:18You make me feel so romantic.
09:21Oh, yes.
09:21I feel like squeezing your hands.
09:24Why don't you put your arms around me and give me a big hoog?
09:28Maybe you would like to test my loops.
09:33Hey, hey, hey.
09:34Uh-oh, Costello.
09:35Here's your girlfriend lean against her.
09:37Ah, ha, ha.
09:38Well, Costello, I finally caught you with your arms around another girl.
09:41You poor man's Tommy Manville.
09:46Ah, Lena, I can't help it.
09:48Miss Mucho likes me.
09:49She thinks I'm all the movie stars rolling to one.
09:51That one in the back must be Andy Devine.
09:56Oh, no, Lena, don't say that.
09:59I want you two girls to be friends.
10:00Miss Mucho, say hello to Lena.
10:04Lena, say hello to Miss Mucho.
10:07How quiet the hellos are tonight.
10:12Miss Mucho, I've seen you in lots of pictures.
10:15Didn't you play the title role in Lassie Come Home?
10:18Oh, how charming you are.
10:21I seem to recognize you.
10:22Where are you wrestling tonight?
10:28Have you catch had your milk today?
10:32Look, Miss Mucho, keep away from Costello.
10:35His arms belong to me.
10:37But his lips belong to me.
10:38His brain belongs to me.
10:40Wait a minute.
10:41I'm getting the short end of this.
10:48Well, I'm going to be running along, Mr. Costello.
10:51I'll see you tomorrow.
10:52Hasta mañana to you.
10:53A real scallopino to you.
10:56Hey, you know my French is improving.
10:58Well, Costello, this is the end of everything between us.
11:04Now, wait a minute, Lena.
11:05That wasn't Costello's fault.
11:07Please, honest.
11:08No, Lena.
11:08I can't help it if I have a winning personality.
11:11I can turn my charm on and off like a fortune.
11:15You must have a loose washer.
11:18All I can hear is a little drip.
11:20Oh, don't pay any attention to him, Lena.
11:23Look, he isn't very, uh, B-R-I-G-H-T.
11:28Yes, he does appear to be a little, uh, F-T-U-P-I-D.
11:32Yes.
11:32I heard that.
11:36What do you think I am?
11:37A D-O-P-P?
11:38I'm through with you, Costello.
11:46I'm going back to Brooklyn and marry my old sweetheart, Mr. Schultz, the grocery man.
11:50Oh, but, Lena, Mr. Schultz is 70 years old and you're only 25.
11:53Didn't you ever hear of a May and December romance?
11:56Yeah, but he's going over into the middle of January.
12:01There's no use arguing, Costello.
12:03This is good box.
12:05Oh, no, Lena.
12:07Don't.
12:07Well, if that's the way you want it, will you write to me from Brooklyn?
12:12You will write to me, won't you?
12:13Why should I write to you from Brooklyn?
12:16I'd just like to know how the tree is doing.
12:21Just as I thought, you always were a silly little twerp and you'll never be anything else.
12:26Goodbye and good ridden.
12:29Well, Costello, your girlfriend walked out on you.
12:32Yes, and I thought I was going to be such a big success in the coming year.
12:35I guess it's no use, Abbott.
12:38I might as well close up this beauty shop.
12:40I'm no good.
12:42I'm a failure.
12:43Well, you certainly are.
12:44Well, you don't know how to treat people.
12:46You don't know how to be nice to people, that's all.
12:49You're right, Abbott.
12:50And I'm going to go away.
12:52I'm going to go someplace and join an organization that will teach me to have good friends and do nice things.
12:57I'll join the campfire girls.
13:00All right.
13:01Now, now, Costello, you mean the...
13:02Yes, I will.
13:02Now, wait a minute, you can.
13:04I'm going to join the campfire girls.
13:04If you listen to me, please, please.
13:06You mean the Boy Scouts.
13:08The campfire girls are all women.
13:10You join what you like, and I'll join what I like.
13:21Well, come on, Costello.
13:22Step on the gas.
13:23Hey, wait a minute, Abbott.
13:24Where are we going?
13:25Well, I'm not going to let you give up your beauty business.
13:27I'm going to show you how to sell beauty treatments from house to house.
13:30Now, this looks like a good neighborhood.
13:31Stop the car.
13:32Okay, I'll stop in here at the corner of 2nd Street.
13:429th Street is close enough.
13:47What brakes?
13:50The brakes are on my skates.
13:52Yes, are now.
13:53Here's a nice-looking house, Costello.
13:54Well, knock on the door and tell the woman you'd like to give her a beauty treatment.
13:57Yeah, but suppose she slams the door on my face.
13:58Oh, nonsense.
13:59The modern woman never slams the door on a salesman's face.
14:02Oh, that's different.
14:04Well?
14:05I'd like to sell you a nice...
14:08Boy, is she old-fashioned.
14:12Well, what are you knocking again for?
14:14I just want to get my nose out of the door.
14:20Me?
14:21Uh, yes.
14:22Uh, whose line is it now?
14:24That's yours.
14:25Well, we didn't...
14:26It's all right.
14:27I got it.
14:27We didn't do any good there.
14:29Go ahead.
14:32Blue.
14:34Well, hey, have it.
14:35Yeah, we didn't do any good there, did we?
14:38No, no, no.
14:39Come on.
14:39I didn't do any good here either.
14:41Come on, Costello.
14:42Let's stop at this next house and see our old Scotch friend, Mr. Brown.
14:45Hey!
14:47Was I lost?
14:50Hey, there's Scotty Brown at the window now.
14:52Go ahead, whistle.
14:53Whistle the way.
14:53I'll whistle at Scotty.
14:54Go ahead.
14:59Gladys, I wish you would not whistle in front of my hoose.
15:02Why not?
15:03Well, every time anybody whistles, it wakes up my canary.
15:07He reaches down and eats another bird seed.
15:10Scotty, Costello...
15:12Costello is going from house to house selling beauty treatments.
15:15Hey, Scotty, how about let me curl your wife's hair for 50 cents?
15:18No, thanks, Lottie.
15:19I'll do that myself.
15:20I was just about to curl her hair when you come to the door.
15:23You can watch me if you like.
15:25Are you ready to have me curl your hair, dearie?
15:28All right, Scotty.
15:29All right, here we go.
15:31Chapter 27.
15:32As the poor girl descended the steps that led to the dank and musty old cellar,
15:37a long, hairy arm reached out and grabbed her by the throat.
15:42That did it.
15:43That makes her hair curl every time.
15:44Good girl.
15:51How do you like that guy?
15:52Scaring his wife to make her hair curl up.
15:54Oh, that's nothing.
15:55He makes us kids cry to water the flower beds.
15:58Hey, wait a minute.
16:00Hey, look who's coming down the street.
16:01It's our old friend, Officer Mellonhead, the policeman.
16:03Hello, boys.
16:04Hey, I can't stop to talk to you now, Mellonhead.
16:06I'm going from house to house selling beauty treatments.
16:08Oh, you won't stop at my house, huh?
16:10You wouldn't fix my wife's hair.
16:12You want her to take her hair off and send it over to your shop.
16:15Go ahead.
16:15Tell everybody my wife wears a wig.
16:17Your wife wears a wig?
16:19Your wife wears a wig?
16:20Go on.
16:21Start a rumor.
16:21Look, Mellonhead, your wife has lovely black hair.
16:26It's as black as coal.
16:27Coal, huh?
16:27Go on.
16:28Say it.
16:28Say that you saw her shovel it into her snood.
16:30I know what you're thinking.
16:32Why don't you say it, Costello?
16:33My wife is ugly.
16:34She's got lips as rough as shoe leather.
16:36Mellonhead, that isn't true.
16:37Your wife's lips are as nice and sweet and smooth.
16:39Oh, you found that out.
16:44So you're the guy my mother-in-law saw running out the door the other night.
16:46Oh, now he's dragging my mother-in-law into this.
16:49I didn't even mention your mother-in-law.
16:51Oh, my mother-in-law's not worth talking about, huh?
16:54Why don't you say it?
16:54My mother-in-law's uglier than my wife.
16:56Look, I didn't say that, Mellonhead.
16:57I think your mother-in-law's beautiful.
16:59Get a load of this dope.
17:00My mother-in-law has a mustache and a three-inch wart on her nose.
17:03He calls her beautiful.
17:06Look, Mellonhead, I don't want to argue with you.
17:07I'm just trying to be a success in 1946.
17:09I just want you to have a nice Happy New Year.
17:11Oh, you want me to have a Happy New Year, but you wouldn't wish me a real Happy New Year.
17:15Okay, I wish you a Happy New Year.
17:16Just one, huh?
17:17I should have one Happy New Year, and the rest of my life I should be miserable.
17:21Okay, have two Happy New Years, three, four, have ten Happy New Years.
17:25Oh, you're just throwing them at me.
17:27You wouldn't say them with feeling, huh?
17:29Oh, he's right, Costello.
17:30Come on, let's wish him a rousing, good Happy New Year.
17:32Come on.
17:33Okay.
17:34Happy New Year, Mellonhead.
17:36For he's a jelly good fellow.
17:38Oh, he's a jelly good fellow.
17:40Happy New Year.
17:42Happy New Year.
17:44Whoopee.
17:45Hooray.
17:46Hooray.
17:48How do you like these two guys?
17:49Here it is, four days before New Year, and they're both plastered already.
17:58Come on, Costello.
17:59Let's try one more house.
18:00No, I'm disgusted at it.
18:01But I feel like giving the whole thing up.
18:03Oh, don't be silly.
18:04I'm sure we can sell a treatment at this house.
18:06Right here, right next door.
18:07What?
18:08This is where Mrs. Niles lives.
18:09Go ahead, ring the doorbell.
18:10Okay.
18:13Why, hello, Mrs. Niles.
18:15Oh, hello, Mr. Abbott.
18:16I see you're out walking your big, fat bulldog.
18:19Oh, pardon me.
18:25It's you, Costello.
18:26Yes.
18:27Look, Mrs. Niles.
18:30Costello is starting a new business, giving beauty treatments.
18:33Yes, Mrs. Niles.
18:34You look like you need a little work done on your face.
18:37Oh, I do, eh?
18:38What's wrong with my face?
18:39Oh, nothing.
18:40I was just wondering how the horse looks without it.
18:43Quiet, Costello.
18:45Well, it wouldn't take much work, Mrs. Niles, to bring out your real beauty.
18:49Oh, do you really think so?
18:50Oh, right, right.
18:51Well, it was just a few years ago I had all the young men chasing after me.
18:55Oh, yes.
18:56Oh, I wonder how I could get them to chase after me again.
19:00Why don't you try carrying a ball in a Rose Bowl game?
19:04Please, Costello.
19:05Now, Mrs. Niles, if you'll just sit down here in this chair, we'll start off with a nice egg shampoo.
19:10Yes.
19:11Come here, Betty.
19:11But, Bill, what are you doing with that chicken?
19:16Oh, we use only fresh eggs.
19:19Now, just sit back while I put Betty on your head.
19:22Go ahead, Betty.
19:23Do your stuff.
19:27Oh, a double yolk.
19:33Oh, you fool.
19:35You get out of here.
19:36But I can't leave the house now, Mrs. Niles.
19:38I just noticed that your skin needs lifting.
19:40What do you mean?
19:41Do you think my skin is too loose?
19:43Oh, no.
19:43It's just the opposite.
19:44Your skin is a little too tight.
19:45Here, I'll lift your skin and show you.
19:52My word.
19:53My skin is tight.
19:54Tight?
19:55Every time you bend your knees, your mouth flies open.
20:01Come on, Costello.
20:02Get busy.
20:02I've got the mud pack all ready.
20:04Yes, Mrs. Niles.
20:04This mud pack is my grandmother's special.
20:06It's her special formula.
20:08It paves the way to beauty.
20:09Help me put it on, Abbott.
20:10Here, I'll take one side of her face and you take the other.
20:12Okay.
20:13We make her nose the dividing line.
20:15No, let's divide it in the middle.
20:16Okay.
20:21Well, there's mud in your eye.
20:24Oh, my heavens.
20:26This mud is beginning to harden on my face already.
20:28Look, I can't move my jaws.
20:31Yeah, this stuff has got a lot of good qualities.
20:33It's beginning to draw my face up.
20:36Get it off, you hear?
20:37Get it off.
20:37Well, wait.
20:38There's a couple of ways to get it off.
20:39Well, just tell me one way.
20:40You'll have to take your pick.
20:42Oh.
20:46Oh.
20:47You idiot.
20:48This stuff is as hard as a rocket.
20:50And you said it would pave the way to beauty.
20:53Yes, it was my grandmother's special formula.
20:55Well, Castelli, you shouldn't have used it.
20:57It's all your fault.
20:58No, it isn't my fault.
20:59Then it's your grandmother's fault.
21:00No, it isn't my fault.
21:01And it isn't my grandmother's fault.
21:03Then whose fault is it?
21:04It's asphalt.
21:11Abbott and Costello will be back for candle cigarettes in just a moment.
21:15And now, here are Bud Abbott and Lou Costello with the final words.
21:18Well, folks, that winds up our programs for the year 1945.
21:23Yes, friends.
21:24But we'll be back on the air next Thursday night.
21:25We'll bring you another whole year of Abbott and Costello.
21:28No, no, not that.
21:29I'm going to get a guy's stand.
21:31It's a sign.
21:31Wait a minute.
21:32Wait a minute.
21:32Hey, wait a minute, fella.
21:34You've been pulling riddles on me every week.
21:36Now, tonight, I've got one for you.
21:38Go ahead, fat stuff.
21:39All right.
21:39What's the difference between a baby form, a diamond ring, and a jackass?
21:42I don't know.
21:43Well, a baby form is a little deer.
21:46A diamond ring is two deer.
21:48Yeah, what about the jackass?
21:49That's you, deer.
21:50Good night, folks.
21:51Good night.
21:51Happy New Year.
21:52Happy New Year to everybody.
21:54And don't forget, folks, buy Victory Bonds at your favorite neighborhood theater.
21:57Be sure to tune in next week for another great Abbott and Costello show brought to you by Camel Cigarettes.
22:05And remember, fry camels in your teeth, though.
22:08See if they don't suit your taste, your throat's to a teeth.
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