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00:00It's on the blink Mary. Literally. It's not igniting. It's not igniting Mary. Turn it off.
00:07Turn it on again. Turn the machine off at the wall. Wait a few seconds. Turn it back on again.
00:18What a time to run for the boiler to get on the blink Mary. The middle of winter with snow forecast.
00:25No. What an entrance. I'm living for this. Taser in. We are going to chocolate. It's all sad. I don't think so. Hey. Oh, here we go. What is that? Oh, shut up.
00:41This doesn't look real. I don't think it is. A flamboisier. What's a flamboisier? Oh, I knew it. No. This looks dodgy, doesn't it? It does. Why is it dodgy?
00:51This is going to go down so badly. None of us learned, do we?
00:55I hate you. Must remember that bellend. This is what everyone came for. The alarm bells are ringing with me, Mary.
01:05At least the nipples are covered. Yeah. It's half the battle.
01:08In the week we said a fond farewell to snooker legend John Virgo, we enjoyed lots of great telly.
01:16They were wheeling out the big brains on Channel 4. Please welcome Susie Dent.
01:24Susie. Lovely to see you.
01:27Of course the woman from Countdowns in this, she is really smart to be fair, but although, at the same time, doesn't she just look up dictionary like...
01:36That's right. All she does is flip through the dictionary. Yeah. And she goes, right, yeah, that is a real word.
01:43We can do that. I can do that, yeah.
01:48Will Smith found himself in a hole on Disney Plus.
01:52The goal of the expedition is to find new species, not just for the sake of finding new species. You know, we're not collecting stamps here.
02:01His name's Prof.
02:02That means he's a professor.
02:04There's a joke at my work that I'm a professor, because one time I filled out a form and I put prof instead of miss.
02:13And Olivia Atwood was showing us how to get filthy rich on ITV2.
02:22It's in the millions. Wow.
02:24I don't know why you don't do any of this.
02:26You'd make a fortune.
02:28You've always said that. You could do a chat line.
02:31I'd be good at it.
02:32I know, you said...
02:33Hey, Lee, look, I've already got... I'll show you. Ready?
02:37What?
02:39You're taking your clothes off? What?
02:42Hello, sir. Yes.
02:44What would you like to do?
02:46Oh, you'd like me to take my dress off?
02:49Yes, OK.
02:53Oh, the zip's got a bit stuck.
02:56Hold on a moment.
02:59Right, the dress is coming off now, sir.
03:01Isn't it good?
03:05Oh, I've got me fingers stuck.
03:17In Leeds...
03:18Where did it all go wrong for you on Saturday night?
03:20Because you seemed all right at the brunch.
03:22I think it was when I had them two spicy margaritas back to back.
03:25One spicy margarita after the other.
03:27I just love a spicy margs.
03:29Sisters Ellie and Izzy.
03:31Well, you went absolutely mad with me.
03:33I bought you a pink gin and tonic and you were going,
03:35You know I wanted spicy margarita.
03:37I wanted spicy margarita.
03:38Why have you bought me pink gin?
03:39Yeah, and so I necked that gin that you bought me and then trotted off to the bar and bought myself two spicy margaritas.
03:45Not one but two spicy margaritas.
03:47Not one but two spicy margaritas.
03:48Yeah.
03:49Just to spite me.
03:50Yeah.
03:51And then I drunk one spicy margarita after the other, necked them.
03:56And I actually think that after that point of necking those spicy margaritas that's when the night becomes blurry.
04:02That's when it spiralled.
04:03That's when it spiralled.
04:04That's when it spiralled.
04:05Yeah.
04:06You rang me at two in the morning and I thought,
04:07Peace off.
04:09On Thursday night, the latest bunch of business hopefuls were suited and booted and back in the firing line on BBC One.
04:16I tell you what, I watched episode one last week, shit show.
04:19I wish I was actually clever enough or had the brain to invent something that they would love.
04:26But that would just never happen.
04:28You're fired.
04:32We had to do a business plan when we took the pub.
04:34Oh, did you?
04:35Yeah.
04:36Well, I never did it.
04:37I didn't.
04:38I wouldn't know how to start a business plan.
04:40Where would you start?
04:41How do you start a business plan?
04:42You write it down.
04:43I know that, you silly bastard.
04:45Oh.
04:46In the programme, Large Sugar had a playful way of introducing the next task.
04:52Are you sitting comfortably?
04:54We should begin.
04:56Oh, it's Tony.
04:59Not a Large Sugar Tony.
05:01For your next task, I want you to create a story for four to six year olds.
05:07Oh.
05:08That is such a fun task.
05:10You need to produce a book and an audio version to go with it.
05:14An audio version, I think, would be tricky because there's no visual aid there.
05:17No.
05:18No.
05:19That's the audio bit.
05:20This is a good one.
05:21Surely there can't go far wrong with this.
05:23Writing a kid's book and recording it.
05:25Exactly.
05:26I've got a story idea, I think.
05:27I was next for the boys.
05:29So, mine is Geno Giraffe.
05:30He's on a spaceship and his whole end goal is basically to have a poo.
05:34Oh.
05:35Great.
05:36To have a poo?
05:37Correct.
05:38No, get him out.
05:39Nobody wants to talk about excrement.
05:40This boy called Astro, five years old, goes into space and essentially he's trying to find the perfect toilet.
05:45Why is it all based around toilets?
05:48He's trying to find the perfect toilet in space.
05:51Which mum and dad's going to enjoy reading that story to their child?
05:54One, two, three, poo.
05:56Oh my god, this is only going to go one way.
06:03Down the toilet.
06:04Yeah.
06:05Next chapter for Marcus's boys.
06:07Please Ru, can I do a poo in your loo?
06:09Oh my days.
06:11Do you want to do for Doo-Doo Land?
06:13Dun, dun.
06:14No.
06:16Do you guys like it?
06:17Don't do that.
06:18You're taking the mix.
06:19Is this for real?
06:20Yeah.
06:21Let's go.
06:22Okay.
06:23Dun, dun.
06:25Oh.
06:26Is this seriously what The Apprentice has come to?
06:33Central London.
06:34Are we excited?
06:35Yeah!
06:36Oh my god, what are the kids going to say?
06:39Oh, dearie me.
06:40Right, this is your audience, isn't it?
06:42If the kids like it, you've got some testimonials.
06:44He is not scared of any planet in the universe, except for one.
06:51Oh, Jane.
06:52Look at the faces.
06:53Oh, the bud.
06:54Do-Doo Land.
06:55Do-Doo Land.
06:56Do-Doo.
06:57Do-Doo.
07:02Oh!
07:03Not a one is laughing.
07:04But what did people think of the adventure that Astro went on?
07:07That it isn't that funny.
07:09Do you know what?
07:10Do you know what?
07:11Kids are brutal.
07:12They are.
07:13Do you want to hear it one more time?
07:14No.
07:15No.
07:16No?
07:17Once was enough.
07:18Once was enough.
07:19I prefer the humour of P.G. Woodhouse.
07:295pm.
07:30Arriving some of Britain's biggest booksellers.
07:34Oh, no.
07:35Oh, God.
07:36Oh, God.
07:37This'll be so cringy.
07:38Oh, can't wait.
07:39We are here to present to you Astro and the three aliens.
07:43No.
07:44What the fuck?
07:45No.
07:46Giant shit on his head.
07:48Do-Doo Land.
07:50Dun-Dun.
07:52Oh.
07:53Oh, my God.
07:54That's exactly how it's gone now.
07:57They've actually narrated how their book's gone now.
08:05Are you glad to be back?
08:07Does it look as though I'm glad to be back?
08:08Did you enjoy it?
08:09Yes, I did.
08:10Oh, good.
08:11I enjoyed my break.
08:13Where did I go?
08:14There.
08:15Best friends Jenny and Lee.
08:17Candy.
08:18No, not candy.
08:19What is it?
08:20India.
08:21Yeah.
08:22Go.
08:23Oh, go away.
08:24Oh, yeah, go away.
08:25Yeah.
08:26Go away.
08:27I'm surprised.
08:28You won't ask me where did I get it from.
08:29Where did you get it from?
08:30Fucking India.
08:31Where do you think?
08:32Manchester.
08:33Oh, yeah.
08:34On Sunday night, we settled in for a light-hearted game of tactics and trivia on ITV.
08:39The floor.
08:40Oh, yeah.
08:41Oh, yeah.
08:42On Sunday night, we settled in for a light-hearted game of tactics and trivia on ITV.
08:48The floor.
08:49We can't have an alcoholic drink on a Sunday.
08:53It's only one.
08:56You better drink it.
08:57Famous last word.
08:58I'm Rob Brydon and this is the floor.
09:01Hello, Rob.
09:02He looks like a koala.
09:03Let's bring in our players.
09:07Oh, they're all happy to be there.
09:08Oh, my Lord.
09:12Oh, I think I quite like this already.
09:14Have they all got a box?
09:15They've all got their own box.
09:16So, you choose your subject depending on your specialism.
09:20So, like, you might choose, I don't know, Aston Villa.
09:23OK.
09:24Or pop music.
09:25Yes.
09:26And what would your specialist subject be?
09:27Food.
09:28Food.
09:29Hello, everybody.
09:3049 of you remain.
09:3449.
09:36And you're all still in with a chance of winning that huge jackpot of £50,000.
09:42Ooh.
09:43It's not bad for a Sunday afternoon work.
09:45No.
09:46Let's light up the floor.
09:49What a strapline.
09:51Here we go.
09:52Any second.
09:53Now.
09:54Oh.
09:55Slay.
09:57Slay.
09:58Clacky.
09:59What does that mean?
10:01Slay bells?
10:02It must have been S-L-A-Y.
10:05He's going to kill the contestants, his rivals.
10:08Slay them.
10:09Now then, George, your category is US states.
10:12Ooh.
10:13Ooh.
10:14I've been in a few states, but not in many US states.
10:18So, there's four.
10:19Four states.
10:20I think there's at least 60.
10:21America.
10:22America.
10:23New York.
10:24America.
10:25New York.
10:26You're going to be duelling on a category belonging to one of your neighbours.
10:28America.
10:29New York.
10:30And then there's another two.
10:31You're lying to me.
10:33I'm not.
10:34But George wasn't playing his own category.
10:36He was about to play Aisha's category.
10:39The category is famous hair.
10:41I don't think Dad would get very far with this one.
10:43No.
10:44No.
10:45No.
10:50Claudia Winkleman.
10:51Claudia Winkleman.
10:52Long, black and shiny.
10:54No dandruff.
10:55Mr T.
10:57BA Barakas.
10:58I ain't getting no playing fool.
10:59Mr T.
11:00I've woke up like Mr T and all my hair shrinks.
11:03We've all woken up like Mr T.
11:05Well, not all of us, but us people of colour.
11:07Harry Winkleman.
11:10No.
11:11No.
11:12Harry Winkleman!
11:13Prince Harry.
11:16Prince Harry.
11:17I mean, they've done him wonders there because they've clearly used an old picture.
11:21Yeah.
11:22It's like orange smoke on top now.
11:24PHONE RINGS
11:26Oh, no!
11:27Bob Rock!
11:28Get out of my...
11:29Get out of my pub!
11:30His fingers!
11:31Dolly Parton.
11:32PHONE RINGS
11:33Oh, Dolly Parton!
11:34I thought it was Peggy from his fingers!
11:38PHONE RINGS
11:39Oh, I know.
11:40What's her name?
11:41Er...
11:42What's her name?
11:43Have you seen the beard?
11:44Oh, no.
11:45Jason Momoa.
11:47PHONE RINGS
11:48No, I didn't know that one.
11:49I was gonna be like, Jesus?
11:50PHONE RINGS
11:51No, I was gonna say the one that...
11:53Say!
11:54The one that's the...
11:55Posh Spice.
11:57No, that's not Posh Spice.
11:59It's Baby Spice.
12:01Mel B?
12:02Nope.
12:03Diana Ross.
12:04Mel B.
12:05PHONE RINGS
12:06Mel B?
12:07Oh!
12:08Oh!
12:09Told you, pal!
12:10I'm sorry, they're exaggerating her hair a little bit there.
12:12Come on.
12:13No, she doesn't look like that.
12:16Prince?
12:17Prince?
12:18That's a woman.
12:19PHONE RINGS
12:20I was gonna say Prince William's woman.
12:24PHONE RINGS
12:25Prince William's woman?
12:27In this day and age, Amani...
12:30In this day and age, she's only his woman.
12:33No, I forgot her name.
12:35She's only his woman.
12:36This is what I like to call an ironing show.
12:38You know, if you're doing a bit of ironing, you bang this on, don't you?
12:41Yeah, it used to be the EastEnders omnibus.
12:43Yeah.
12:44But now you can just bang the floor on.
12:46Yeah.
12:47Get the kids' uniforms washed out.
12:48Yeah.
12:49Done.
12:50It's not gonna put you off.
12:51No.
12:52But it's nice to have one in the background.
12:53In Manchester.
12:54Me mate's getting married on Friday and I'm really looking forward to it.
13:06But me mate's a vegetarian.
13:08So that means vegetarian food at the wedding.
13:11No.
13:12Surely you'll do some normal options.
13:15It's veggie food.
13:16The Malones.
13:17The thing is, I like vegetables and that.
13:20No issue with vegetables.
13:22But I do like a good, like, bit of chicken or something.
13:27Eh, Sean?
13:28You never know.
13:29You might go.
13:30The food might be that good.
13:31You might become a vegetarian.
13:33Ah, lads.
13:34Can't see that.
13:35Well, yeah, sure.
13:36You could be the one that turns up.
13:38Who's a guest that's turned up with a, like, with a wedding present at a packet of pork pies
13:41and sausage rolls, they are.
13:42They're all gonna be around it, aren't they?
13:44Don't give him ideas.
13:46This week, Disney Plus was pushing a Hollywood A-lister to the limit on an epic new adventure
13:52series.
13:53Pole to Pole with Will Smith-Shield.
13:55He's going from the North Pole right down to the South Pole.
13:58He's walking, is he?
14:00Walking?
14:01Walking?
14:04Where is the North Pole?
14:05I don't think you can live there.
14:06You can.
14:07I can't.
14:08Santa lives there.
14:09Yeah, just Santa.
14:11No one else.
14:15I don't think I'd want to go pole to pole with Will Smith or toe to toe.
14:19You know, Chris Rock found that out, didn't he?
14:21Did you ever have one of those friends?
14:23Why is he that close to the camera like that?
14:25That, like, gets you in trouble all the time?
14:28Well, I was that friend.
14:30Yeah.
14:33How does he know?
14:34I remember my very first snake bite.
14:36You never forget your first.
14:37What do you mean?
14:38How many snake bites have you had in your life?
14:40Did you mean a shot?
14:42No, darling.
14:43Over the last 25 years, I've had 27 snake bites.
14:4627?
14:4724 broken bones, 400 stitches.
14:49Oh, my God.
14:50Two stingray stings and one near fatal scorpion sting in the Amazon.
14:54Oh, dear.
14:55That's like my summer holidays.
14:57Have a doll then.
14:59I hope you've got good health insurance.
15:01Brian has us in the middle of the Amazon.
15:04And you want to go there?
15:07Yeah, not necessarily with Brian, though.
15:11Now, Brian thinks there are creatures here that could hold the secret to saving millions of lives.
15:17That's worth looking for.
15:18Oh, wow.
15:19OK, let them stay there.
15:20Stay there with your secret.
15:22We are arriving.
15:23The main goal of our expedition is just there.
15:26What's the main?
15:27But today we are not going up.
15:29We are going down.
15:30Oh, no, I couldn't be going down.
15:32I'm terrible.
15:33When I got stuck behind that woman in the Great Pyramids that year, I'll never forget it.
15:44Cueva de los Tayos, a.k.a. where people don't come back out.
15:50You know what that means in Spanish?
15:51What?
15:52De ball.
15:54We are going down about 20-storey buildings.
15:5720-storey buildings.
15:5820-storey buildings?
15:59Yeah.
16:00Isn't there a lift?
16:01See you in the bottom.
16:02You go first.
16:04Set some lights up and a little fire.
16:06Imagine if down there there's a cure for cancer.
16:10He's shooting for the stars.
16:11Fair play to him.
16:12Oh, I'd go.
16:13I'd go.
16:14There's a cure for cancer.
16:15Oh, please let there be.
16:16I'll call my help.
16:17It wasn't long before Brian and Will's poking about would unearth some creepy crawlies.
16:23Oh, hey.
16:24Oh, that's a nice one.
16:26Oh, wow.
16:27That's...
16:28Oh, my God!
16:29What the fuck?
16:30Sorry, Vin.
16:31Oh, my God!
16:32Oh, Daniela, it's really big.
16:33I'm not looking.
16:34I'm not looking.
16:35I'm not looking.
16:36I'm not looking.
16:37We're going to need a bigger jug.
16:39Here we go.
16:41Oh, no, that is...
16:42Oh, my God, it's the size of a hand.
16:43Yowd, that is yowd.
16:44I'll tell you what, that's got airier legs than me.
16:47Yeah, that thing is insane looking.
16:49Oh, my gosh.
16:50Could you imagine that in your bedroom?
16:52So, what do they do now?
16:54They've got the animals.
16:55So, how do they extract the venom?
16:58Because them animals aren't going to give it freely, are they?
17:01So, we're going to milk the biggest of the tarantulas.
17:04Milking tarantulas.
17:05Go on.
17:07How long does the spider stay knocked out?
17:11I try to do as minimal as possible.
17:13So, it's usually out for about five minutes, ten minutes at most.
17:16So, you should hurry up.
17:17Spider sedation?
17:19Well, I never.
17:20It takes three of us just to wrangle the animal.
17:23Uh-oh.
17:24Oh, it's just so big.
17:28All right, so, first, Amalia is going to pop open one of the fangs.
17:32Whoa.
17:33Fucking hell.
17:34Stay to that.
17:35Jesus.
17:36I'm getting any venom.
17:37Oh, a nice big drop.
17:38Look at that.
17:39Oh, there it comes.
17:40Look at that.
17:41Ah!
17:42It's milking.
17:43There we go.
17:44Oh, that was a good amount.
17:45Oh, my God.
17:46Look at that.
17:47The spider's waking up rapidly.
17:49Oh.
17:50Oh, it's waking up now, Lee.
17:51Oh, shit.
17:52Rapidly.
17:53Fucking hell.
17:54Knock him out, man.
17:55Get some gas on him.
17:56Your first venom extract.
17:57Oh, it's waking up now, Lee.
17:58Oh, shit.
17:59Rapidly, fucking hell.
18:00Knock him out, man.
18:01Your first venom extraction.
18:02Look at all that.
18:04Will drinks it.
18:06We're going to do some shots down here.
18:08I know what.
18:11In Durham.
18:12When I go food shopping, because I go food shopping now.
18:15Only done it twice.
18:16You must be starving.
18:18In the whole six months I've lived there.
18:20Best friends Abby and Georgia.
18:22Well, that's when I done that week of Hello Fresh, didn't I?
18:25Ah.
18:26Never do that again.
18:27Hated it.
18:28It was the worst week of my life.
18:32There was tomato puree up me walls.
18:35I hated every second.
18:38I'm being devious.
18:39I put a complaint in.
18:41Dindra, please send a chef with this next time.
18:45On Sunday night, ITV2 was showing us new ways to make a living.
18:51Right.
18:52Get your notepad out.
18:53What?
18:54Living Upward.
18:55How to get filthy rich.
18:56Oh, I'd love to be filthy rich, wouldn't you?
18:58It's all right, I would.
19:03This gives you an insight into how people are making money in questionable ways.
19:07Yeah.
19:08It's people that make money out of, like, OnlyFans and stuff.
19:11Oh.
19:12Ooh.
19:13Hey, I don't want Nat watching this getting ideas.
19:16Seeing what else there is available on the internet for money.
19:19Exactly.
19:20No, well, do you know what?
19:21I actually did once buy some saucy underwear and he got annoyed with me and says,
19:25what have you bought that for?
19:28Visibility on social media of the foot fetish has spiked in recent years.
19:32Oh, foot fetish!
19:34I don't want to look at my own, let alone someone else's dusty, crusty feet.
19:37Does that turn you on?
19:39No, not really.
19:41Is it supposed to?
19:43With Pornhub reporting a 58% increase of interest from the under 35s.
19:48Don't include me in that.
19:50Yep.
19:51It's your generation.
19:52Look, it's your splat bang in the middle.
19:54My generation, we need to be doing better.
19:56I think everyone's got a foot fetish on a slide.
19:59No.
20:00No.
20:01One guy I found online stumbled upon the earning power of his feet while serving in the armed forces.
20:06What?
20:07You're joking.
20:08Surely you can't do that in the armed forces.
20:10Why are you so attractive about this size 11 stinky foot?
20:13Oh, Lord, move that foot away.
20:16He has been the only person thus far to be kicked out of the Navy for creating adult content.
20:23Why can't he do that and serve the nation?
20:27I like men in uniform, though, Lee.
20:30Oh.
20:31I do, honestly.
20:32I can believe it.
20:33Is that why you used to see the lollipop man?
20:35Yeah.
20:36What he's told me, which I don't really understand, but he's doing a sock drop.
20:42A what?
20:43Sock drop.
20:44Now, this isn't the first time I've heard about this.
20:46There's a post that says, Millennium Bridge, 10.30am today.
20:50I am leaving a pair of dirty socks to come and get them.
20:54This is insane.
20:56I've missed my calling.
20:57The world has gone mad.
20:59I mean, my sock drawer needs a good sorting out, to be fair.
21:03If I could make a bit of money from selling my old socks.
21:06I bin my holy socks, maybe I should be selling them.
21:09We're in central London today, and as requested, so many of you want me to leave a sock on Millennium Bridge.
21:15Guys, look, you might see me on this bridge, cos I was in London the other day.
21:18If I turn up, it's just coincidence, OK?
21:21Yeah, right, London.
21:22I've actually got this pair that I've been wearing for four days straight.
21:24Oh, four days?
21:26Christ, they'll be walking around on their own.
21:28He suffers for his art, doesn't he?
21:30Clearly.
21:32He's tying them on.
21:34Right, there you go.
21:36Are we supposed to get a pair?
21:38Posted.
21:39Well, he's learnt something in the napey nut.
21:42He's learnt how to tie a knot.
21:44So what do the people that have picked up the socks in the past look like?
21:47I want to see who's getting those socks.
21:49Yeah, I want to see...
21:50That's what I wanted to know.
21:51Shame on shame.
21:52As we're leaving the bridge, Zach spots someone he recognises.
21:56That's what I wanted to know.
21:57No!
21:58He recognises somebody.
22:00That's what I wanted to know.
22:01Where?
22:02Where?
22:03Running for the sock now.
22:07That's one of his fans, Mary.
22:08How long's that been?
22:09What, 30 seconds?
22:10Minute?
22:11Gross, he's on his street, are we?
22:13Shall we meet him?
22:14Well, I mean, I would, obviously, but he's your fan, not mine.
22:17This is crazy.
22:18This is actually crazy.
22:21Where have they gone?
22:22Someone got him before him.
22:24Somebody's already got him!
22:25Oh, look, it's gutted.
22:26Where's the socks?
22:27Is he coming?
22:28Where are they?
22:29No, we're actually meeting a foot fetishist.
22:30I think I've gone into a sort of nightmare or something.
22:31Well, better luck next time.
22:32Nice to meet you.
22:33Thanks for talking to me.
22:34I'll let you say your goodbyes.
22:35I'll give you a hug.
22:36Wait, really?
22:37I'll be nice.
22:38Oh, are they hugging?
22:39They're hugging Daniella.
22:40Right.
22:41That'll be better than the socks.
22:42Yeah.
22:43What could I show people?
22:44Oh, look, it's gutted.
22:45Oh, look, it's gutted.
22:46So, where's the socks?
22:47Is he coming?
22:48Hi.
22:49Where are they?
22:50No, we're actually meeting a foot fetishist.
22:51I think I've gone into a sort of nightmare or something.
22:53Well, better luck next time.
22:54Nice to meet you.
22:55Thanks for talking to me.
22:56I'll let you say your goodbyes.
22:57I'll give you a hug.
23:01What's the matter?
23:04Well, I don't want to play because I'm thinking it's going to be stinky underwear.
23:10That's what I want, Jane.
23:11I could do a bra, couldn't I?
23:13Yeah, way too much already.
23:16I am so in to sell socks.
23:20It's not happening, darling.
23:22And I'm going and checking every sock in the drawer upstairs before we go to bed tonight.
23:29There's going to be a sock register.
23:30And there's going to be a sock register upstairs.
23:32And if any socks have gone next week, I'll know where they are.
23:36In the Cotswolds.
23:46I almost did dry January.
23:48What do you mean you almost did?
23:49Well, I did.
23:50I did that week.
23:51The week where you did three days.
23:53I did four.
23:54Andrew and his husband Alfie.
23:57I quite liked it for my ten days.
23:59There's probably 30 non-alcoholic beers still left in the fridge.
24:02Yeah, I drank four.
24:04OK, so it wasn't that.
24:05It was more of a damn January.
24:06It was a total damn January.
24:08OK.
24:09On Monday night, there were more police in pursuit on Channel 5.
24:13Can I just chill?
24:14Oh, I couldn't possibly.
24:15Thank you so much.
24:17Come on.
24:18Off your cup.
24:19Good girl.
24:20Yay!
24:21Watch this for me.
24:22Right, we're going to watch this so that you know what not to do on the motorway now that you're learning to drive.
24:27It's fine.
24:28Jay goes so slowly.
24:29Cheers.
24:30Cheers, Captain Obvious.
24:32When it comes to bad driving, dash camp never lies.
24:36There are some shite drivers out there, aren't there?
24:38Shite.
24:39Shite.
24:40Locking up the most dangerous people on our roads are the motorway cops.
24:45I'd love to see them catch a few.
24:47I haven't been on the motorway for ages.
24:49Since my mother died, there's no reason to go anywhere.
24:52Mum would make a good motorway cop.
24:54She can make a one-point-full turbo mocker do things that the Stig could only dream of.
25:00Yeah.
25:03I like driving on the motorway, but I hate the lane hoggers, man.
25:06Move out the way!
25:07Shay doesn't like the lane hoggers, Andre.
25:09She is a lane hogger.
25:11She's the number one lane hogger.
25:13Oh, my days, Shay.
25:15That's worse than me.
25:16That is worse than me.
25:17Try, Shay.
25:18Your dad goes all over the place.
25:20You're like, Andre, just stay in one lane, man.
25:21I move over.
25:22Yeah, he sits there in his little mini.
25:24Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
25:25Umbersad police, what's the emergency?
25:29Umbersad, that's us.
25:31It's the refinery service station.
25:32I've got a theft of fuel just literally left the site now.
25:35A theft of fuel?
25:36You know what that means, don't you, Sif?
25:37They've net some fuel.
25:38That's right.
25:39I've done that.
25:40Have you driven away?
25:41Yeah.
25:42Without paying?
25:43Yeah.
25:44Accidentally, mine was paid.
25:45Of course!
25:46All right, sir.
25:47Mark, stop it!
25:48Oh, he's stoned.
25:49On the drugs.
25:50He's on drugs, is he love?
25:51Oh, that's even worse, isn't it?
25:53Mill's made off with fuel.
25:55The Bentley Continental in black.
25:57A Bentley Continental!
25:59Oh, what?
26:00Hold on, what's that?
26:01Is that a Bentley?
26:02And you can't pay for your fuel?
26:03The last reliable site was at Inningham Dock.
26:06Tango November 1-1.
26:07We're blue lighting across there now.
26:09We're blue lighting.
26:10We're blue lighting.
26:11We're blue lighting.
26:12HE LAUGHS
26:13He's a hallucination.
26:14He believes he's the second coming of Jesus.
26:16He believes he's the second coming of Jesus.
26:18Oh, Jesus.
26:19He's off his trolley then.
26:21To be fair, I would imagine that the second coming of Jesus
26:24would drive round in a Bentley Continental.
26:26Yeah.
26:30He's got a couple of pals in the car and all.
26:32So it's Jesus and the disciples.
26:34It is failing to stop.
26:39Well, in excess of 7-0 in a 3-0.
26:42Oh, I see 17 or 30.
26:43Yeah, that's way worse than I was.
26:45This is marvellous, this programme.
26:47Yeah.
26:50There's the car.
26:51The wagons have got him.
26:52Eight CVs have got him.
26:53Box him in.
26:54Box him in.
26:59Stop. Stop.
27:00Yeah, stop, you silly bastard.
27:02Contact made with subject vehicle.
27:04Contact made.
27:05Vehicle is continuing.
27:07No.
27:08He's gone away.
27:09The lorries.
27:10The lorries.
27:11Oh, my days.
27:12You stupid wagons.
27:13Fucking wagon drivers.
27:14He's going to go straight through.
27:16Oh!
27:17Oh!
27:18Oh!
27:19It just went through the barrier.
27:20It's done right, right, right.
27:21Right, right, right.
27:22Oh!
27:23Oh, my God!
27:24This is absolutely wild.
27:25This is crazy.
27:26It's like a James Bond film.
27:27Isn't it?
27:28Hang on, November 1-1.
27:29Other units are now on site.
27:30You've got back up.
27:31Okay, good, good.
27:32Finally.
27:33Where's the helicopter, man?
27:34Shit.
27:35It's a break.
27:36This is fast.
27:37This is so cool.
27:38For all the wrong reasons.
27:39This must be the best car chase ever.
27:41It's been fantastic, isn't it?
27:43They got him.
27:44They got him.
28:03He has been dogged.
28:04He's been dogged.
28:08He's been dogged.
28:09You've been dogged.
28:10Get him dogged.
28:11You've got to lower your breath.
28:12I don't think he can move, can he?
28:16There's no chance of him moving, where's he off to?
28:19Right, mate, you're under arrest on suspicion of failing to stop for police,
28:23dangerous driving and abduct slash kidnap.
28:26Suspicion of failing to stop for the police?
28:28There's no suspicion in that.
28:30He's gone for 40 miles at 100 miles an hour.
28:33Charge him for that one now.
28:35You understand?
28:36I was scared.
28:37Sorry?
28:38I do nothing to know one.
28:40Oh, look at that.
28:42He's wrecked that car.
28:44I mean, your mum has come back with some dents and scratches,
28:47but never like that.
28:54In Leeds...
28:55Izzy, is that my jaw or have I got jowls?
28:58Jowls, definitely.
29:00Sisters Ellie and Izzy.
29:02I'm getting jowls.
29:03Yeah.
29:04Seriously?
29:05Like, you being mean or being honest?
29:08Let me feel.
29:12It's jowls.
29:13Fuck's sake.
29:18Gobble, gobble.
29:20On Friday, an exciting expose was making the headlines on the BBC.
29:25As soon as we put the news on, any chance we could watch it?
29:28Because it would be nice.
29:29You know what?
29:30I do love looking at doggies.
29:31Well, thanks for the kiss.
29:32HE LAUGHS
29:41Do you have to keep fucking slapping?
29:43Well, get me some bread then.
29:45Complaints about rogue locksmiths have risen by two-thirds over the last four years.
29:50Good heavens.
29:51Good grief.
29:52I had no idea that was a thing.
29:53No one needed to die.
29:54Oh, dear.
29:55What are they doing?
29:56Using a tactic known as bait and switch, where companies offer an affordable call-out fee,
30:02but hike up the price when they get there.
30:04Oh, that's when you're...
30:06Oh!
30:07Yeah.
30:08Oh, that's a Mortis five-leaver.
30:10Yeah!
30:11Five-leaver.
30:12Oh!
30:13Basically, every plumber and locksmith and builder and roofer in London is a crook.
30:19No.
30:20No, not all crooks.
30:21Emergency call-out fee, £45.
30:24Finn and Maria were locked inside when they called 24-7 Locksmiths UK.
30:29How do you lock inside?
30:30You got locked between two doors one time.
30:32I did, I got locked in the port.
30:34You were there all day until I got back from work.
30:36They say they were quoted £45 over the phone.
30:39Well, that's where they get you.
30:40Cheap call-out fee.
30:42Expensive repair bills.
30:43Yes.
30:44Just making stuff up.
30:45We're going to have to replace the door here, love.
30:47Yeah, yeah.
30:48Really, we're going to have to knock down this house, really, to get you in.
30:51I stopped my head out the window and said,
30:52do not break the lock.
30:53We can, you know, we can definitely fix this without doing that.
30:55We're not going to have to replace this.
30:56You don't need to do that.
30:57And he said, no, I need to do it.
30:58Snap.
30:59Lock was broken.
31:00He was in.
31:01I love how she's laughing at the situation.
31:02Yeah, because she's thinking that's definitely not how it pans out.
31:05That's not how it pans out at all.
31:07You know, you've said to me it doesn't need doing,
31:09he said it needs doing, and I've said, let's do it.
31:12£1,250 altogether.
31:14What?
31:15Oh!
31:16How much?
31:17How did you get to that much?
31:19The call-out fee was 45.
31:2145?
31:22Thieving robbing bastards.
31:24We wanted to investigate.
31:25Yeah.
31:26Come on, let's set him up.
31:27So, we secured a property and rigged it with secret cameras.
31:31Oh, I love this.
31:32A sting.
31:33Is this the news?
31:34Yes.
31:35It's quite a long news, isn't it?
31:37Yeah.
31:38But first, we wanted to prove that this lock didn't need to be drilled.
31:42We should be able to bypass this lock in seconds.
31:45No damage.
31:46By bypass, he means break in.
31:48Yeah.
31:49And they're not going to show us how to do that,
31:50because that would be a bad idea.
31:55Is that how quick it is?
31:56Then, we made the call.
31:58We charge £40 for a simple door opening.
32:01Well, and you'd snap their hand off at that, wouldn't you?
32:03£40? Sounds quite reasonable.
32:04Yeah.
32:05So, to open it, I'm going to have to drill the lock.
32:07Oh!
32:08Here we go.
32:09You barely even examined it, mate!
32:11The price of drilling is £125 for VAT.
32:15No, that's naughty.
32:17But at this point, when he's there going,
32:19price of this, £125,
32:20I'd say, put your tool back in your van, Tiger,
32:22and fuck off.
32:24Butchery, it's villainous.
32:28So, there you go.
32:29That's the lock ruined now.
32:31314 plus the VAT.
32:33376.
32:34376.
32:35Oh, my God!
32:36£376.
32:37Where's Dominic Littlewood when you need him?
32:39You know, he needs to be out there, on the beat.
32:41Yeah.
32:42Do we go now?
32:43Yeah.
32:44Get out with the camera and the microphone!
32:46Get out!
32:47I love wrong-uns being caught.
32:49Hello.
32:50We're the BBC.
32:51Why are you charging so much for this job?
32:53Why is it costing so much?
32:55Because I'm a corn man.
32:56I know.
32:58Next question.
32:59We email the company for further comment.
33:01They've yet to respond, and their website has been taken down.
33:05Oh, there's a surprise.
33:06Yeah, but it's probably been set up under another name.
33:08Yeah, yeah, yeah.
33:09You know, at least Dominic Littlewood would get stuck in.
33:11Oh, he'd have booted.
33:12He'd have fucking kicked the wing wearer off or something.
33:15At least.
33:16In Blackpool.
33:17Hey Soph.
33:18Treating myself to a new suit.
33:19Oh, very nice.
33:20Hi.
33:21Yeah.
33:22It was awkward, actually.
33:23Because we were just chatting to the lads that were there.
33:24You know, whose shop it is.
33:25Chris's shop.
33:26Pete and his little sister Sophie.
33:27Because we were chatting and that, I didn't want to get changed in the dressing room,
33:31because I thought it were rude.
33:32So I just got changed in the shop, and next thing this dude's walked in, and all I've got on is my undies and a smile.
33:53I don't think that's right.
33:55Well, nobody seemed to mind.
33:57That was the thing, but it just felt a bit awkward.
33:59awkward are you sure those men even work there well i would hope so you know isn't it a curtain
34:09as well so even if you were chatting you could just chat through the curtain i know but i like
34:12to make eye contact when i'm speaking to people i bet that i bet the people that worked in the
34:17shop when you dropped your trousers they were thinking what a lad what is happening what this
34:24week it was the return of the racist regency drama on netflix oh i'm buzzing bridgeton's back on
34:32i've been listening to mucky books lately i feel you dirty bitch
34:39see if you get some naughty bits is that what you're watching it for no it's educational
34:47is is everything well mom oh everything is perfect it should be perfect it would be perfect
34:53where is benedict who's benedict that's her other son if he guesses where he is probably shagging
34:59liar yeah oh that butler knows exactly where benedict is exactly yeah
35:11please fetch my carriage uh-oh is she gonna go and find him
35:15that is a mother with purpose oh she's on a mission there isn't she oh i've seen that walk before
35:24from your mother yeah move here we go what's she gonna found oh my gosh what she walked in on i don't know
35:36it's a shittle benedict bridgerton oh my word oh it was best she just stayed out of the room yeah
35:47what was she expecting to draw back the curtains it is time for my son to wake up no no no please
35:51please do not oh oh that's another one he's had an orgy in there true fancy being caught by your
36:00mother like that there's always a black sheep in the family in there who's that i don't know i'm not
36:12seeing this one before who is she what are you asking me for like i know i can do this i can do
36:18this she looks as if she's nervous i don't think she's used to this sort of thing she's not giving
36:22swanky bridgerton do is she there is a large group arriving just conceal yourself behind her
36:28and just be out by midnight oh cinderella okay cinderella oh god out by midnight was she gonna
36:37leave her glass slipper good evening ladies
36:42here he is the man of the hour old benedict oh he's such a ladies man mr bridgerton mr bridgerton
36:49over here hello oh look who he spotted the unknown that glance across a crowded room shill i know
37:01pardon me young lady could i trouble you for the next dance oh no mr chance benedict oh that is
37:09unlucky oh he's in like flynn never seen him move so quick in my life forgive me for interrupting i have
37:15just found this young lady's dance card but unfortunately my name is next no no bingo
37:23smooth movie oh i'm not looking for a husband you are not oh no she's talking his language that's
37:32gonna change his world yeah he's like she's the woman for me excuse me i i meant to be somewhere
37:40where's she going is it midnight already i can't she just got there have you lost your chakra no is
37:45it that we've met no i i cannot dance oh she can't dance because she's not a lady oh she's common
37:51as muck jenny she's common as muck a lady who cannot dance
37:58huh he's mind blown yeah he's like tick she's unladylike tick
38:04she's not married later in the garden we saw benedict showing the mystery woman a few moves
38:16how gorgeous it's been really sweet and romantic with her
38:24what's he doing
38:25what's happening why is he smelling her
38:38he's infatuated my guy said i want to i want to get a good smell of this
38:47oh she's got to go is it 12 o'clock the charms
38:50oh here we go oh that's way forward isn't it notty
39:01wait she said you ain't gonna forget me boy
39:05who is this mystery woman i'm dying to know
39:13oh come on take it off tell us who you are we're gonna get to see her face now
39:16oh she's one of the maids she's a freaking maid
39:27oh jane
39:30this is forbidden love that were quite timber bridgeton that's just getting us warmed up
39:35that it's not even started yet just getting the juices flowing yeah
39:38in home hey do you know the listening you know on these phones i know they do do you know something
39:47yesterday i was talking about potato waffles oh yeah and then i went on a potato waffle started
39:54coming on my phone he's joking no i swear best friends jenny and lee i did that with the barbecue
40:01what because we were talking about getting a barbecue and then the next minute i was sat
40:07they come up on my phone so there's they hear what you're saying
40:12the next time i was sat there i said i want a six foot man
40:16like that send me some of them
40:19and it's not arrived no i'm still waiting for it
40:22i need to talk to him more often don't i yeah six foot two six foot two yeah six foot two dark
40:32hair don't want blonde dark hair see what pops up it'll be race done on his chair
40:42on monday night alan carr was on the hunt for closet clever clogs on channel four i've done like
40:48you test yeah i did pretty well i got like 120 or something i got 121 i think you're a liar no i'm not
40:56a liar you just picked one higher than me no i didn't i swear i'm sure it was 121. across the uk
41:06there are estimated to be a million undiscovered geniuses oh i wonder if i'm one of them you could
41:12be a genius and not realize yeah that's probably me that's me all over when i were a kid i used to
41:22know everybody's reg play on a state where i lived oh michelle knows that she's a copper each week
41:2812 people from different corners of the uk complete the number sequence
41:33have been invited to genius hq okay oh genius hq i'd love to go to genius yeah we're gonna send
41:43you in darling we're gonna sign you up for this get me in there here they'll compete in a series of
41:48mind-stretching games where do we begin designed with mensa oh god i've heard of mensa the society
41:56for the world's smartest people i was told i wouldn't go far in life that's nasty and who are
42:02these horrible people that taught you please honestly horrible bastards fuck yous all this is
42:07what i was told and you know what actually i wish i could say them now uh hello i work in the cheese
42:13factory i'm proper smart me i would be intrigued to know what my iq was but would i
42:25be a woman because if it's really low i don't want to know better off not knowing better off not
42:30knowing better off burying your head in the sand 27 year old jess is the first player to face the
42:36final round come on jess oh jess is a real smart cookie yeah let's see how she does with this one
42:43okay right memorize the details of this stack of text like oh i love turkish delight turkish dish
42:51yeah it's more i want to eat that when you are ready you must move on to the next room your first
42:56question can be found on the jar i think i'll be looking at the colors you know how they run the
43:04sequence i just want to eat the turkish delight select the jar that displays a number of cubes in
43:08the turkish delight tower how would you know that how would you count them all then this is about
43:12spatial reasoning right no lost me how the bloody hell would you know that i'll tell you what it's quite
43:18half this self it is i got a general vibe that it was definitely over a hundred what yeah i'm gonna
43:26go 162 yeah but there's no reasoning behind it well i've got so far and i'm thinking yeah there's a lot
43:35of turkish delight there correct no way bloody hell damn she's quick well i won far out 162
43:50so that's not bad contains traces of jam elderflower right let's try the next one
43:55jelly jelly oh jelly very good we're looking for a verbal sequence jelly what jelly beans jelly jelly
44:04war jelly jelly jelly jelly warm jelly anyway jelly whims the seven what's that seven becomes an l
44:16oh that's l it's like an l oh l lemon lemon lemon plop it is lemon plop is it lemon drop isn't it drop
44:35lemon drop lemon drop i like lemon drop not lemon plop it's lemon drop what am i what am i squirrel
44:46squirrel minus question okay have you got it no is it word word and then you have to add the o-i-c
44:55to make a new word that is the trickiest question how can there be an answer out of this is it licorice
45:07it's not licorice there's no there's no h there's no h in licorice you dickhead yeah liquor-ish
45:16licorice yes wow licorice well what's licorice got to do with squirrel well done that was amazing
45:26that whole reasoning well done jess she was amazing i can't believe it i actually can't believe i've done
45:32it that's i'm impressed there i'll give you that i'm smart i'm not listen remember the paddling pool
45:40do you remember the paddling pool yeah and it said fill it with water yeah you filled the bit
45:53you brought with air with water and then we couldn't get it up because now that inflatable
46:00bit was full of water do you remember that sean yeah and you're telling me you're a secret genius
46:21well if you want to see more of secret genius and maybe find out if you are one too alan and susie will
46:27be here sunday at nine well next up tonight the last leg is looking sharp although there is
46:32probably more to do with guests grayson perry and judy love than adam alex and josh to be fair stay with us
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