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00:01Oh!
00:03Ooh!
00:04Are you all right?
00:08You all right?
00:09Put a door stop there!
00:11Tilly sometimes lifts it up.
00:19You've not broke anything, have you?
00:21My nose!
00:26Ah!
00:27Her flabbers have been gasted.
00:30You want some of this?
00:32Oh, that is!
00:33Look out!
00:34Oh, no!
00:35Steve!
00:36Oh, now there's a controversial statement.
00:38The gravy.
00:41Yeah!
00:42Do you like this music?
00:44No, not particularly.
00:45So suck on that!
00:46Oh, wow!
00:48He's been a bad boy!
00:50Don't ever take me to a restaurant like that.
00:52Not a chance, do we?
00:53Ooh!
00:54Yes, look at that!
00:55He's had an absolute feast!
00:58Whoa!
00:59For a banana?
01:00This is insane!
01:02Well, thank God that's over, I've got a headache run.
01:05It is like putting chicken in a vodka tonic, this.
01:09That's very modern, isn't it?
01:10Now, if no-one saw that coming.
01:12No.
01:13In the week Rachel's budget got revealed a bit too early, we enjoyed lots of great telly.
01:20We went back to the 80s for one last time on Netflix.
01:23Well, last time Strange Things were out, I were pregnant with Ezra.
01:35Maybe it's time to have another baby.
01:38Whenever there's a new Stranger Things series.
01:40Things will be going bump in the night at your house and it is not the Demogorgons.
01:44There was a big sing-along on BBC One.
01:47God said, wherever you believe, I'm the Lord of the God, save me.
01:53Fight said, wherever you may be, we are the team from the West Country.
01:59And we'll fight you all, wherever you may be, and we'll fight you all in the West Country.
02:05Okay.
02:06Cords away.
02:07Bristol Rovers.
02:08I'm not a supporter or anything.
02:12And Jack Whitehall was being a bit creepy on Prime Video.
02:16I could kill you right now if I wanted.
02:20But I'm not going to do that.
02:23Because I want you to suffer.
02:27Just like I did.
02:28Do you know what?
02:29I could have quite easily held a lot of grudges with you.
02:31You know, biting a chunk of me hair out.
02:34Smacking me around the head with a washing line pole when we were playing Jairston in the garden.
02:39Spitting chewing gum in my hair the night before prom.
02:42You know, but I haven't.
02:43Listen.
02:44And you smacked me head off the kitchen side one morning.
02:46Yeah.
02:47Muscle my lip open.
02:48Because you were being an arsehole.
02:50And Mum went, right, get in the car.
02:53My face is hanging off here.
02:55And I was wearing a lovely cream coat with a fur trim from Woolworths.
02:59I felt the dog's bollocks.
03:04In Wiltshire.
03:05So just to put you in the picture.
03:10I got up at six.
03:12And I had been working for five hours 55 minutes.
03:16When you came into the room.
03:18As you know, I personally handle everything myself with absolutely no help.
03:23Giles and his wife Mary.
03:26And then you came in.
03:28And when you said your room needs to sort out.
03:32Hmm.
03:33That was enough to actually make me want to kill you.
03:36Oh dear.
03:37And just as well they have gun laws here.
03:39That's the thing about marriage, Natty, is that tomorrow you won't even remember.
03:42Yes, but when you do something.
03:43Because there will be a new crisis tomorrow.
03:45And that's the nature of marriage.
03:47Well, you'll find the nature of marriage is different from what you think.
03:50Relationship.
03:51Because you're going.
03:52Relationship goals.
03:53Well, you're going to the shed.
03:54Relationship.
03:55You're going to live in the shed, you horrible, horrible man.
03:59On Saturday night, the remaining Strictly stars have made the annual trip up north.
04:04For this.
04:05It's bloody Blackpool week, Panas.
04:06This is only down road.
04:08And now I drove past the vans this morning.
04:10Oh.
04:11Oh.
04:12Oh, they're awful.
04:13Hey, watch.
04:14Oh.
04:17Cheers.
04:19Wow.
04:21I'm on one tonight.
04:24Lucky me.
04:25If we can't go out, out, we stay in, in.
04:30Hey, I'll tell you who's on tonight.
04:32Paige was telling me.
04:33Steps.
04:34Oh.
04:35You've danced in Blackpool, aren't you, Sean?
04:37I have.
04:38Many times.
04:40I've danced in Blackpool many times.
04:42At the ballroom.
04:46Who have we got here?
04:47Look at all these ones.
04:48These are the professionals.
04:54That's actually a group called Steps, Mary.
04:56I thought they, like, died years ago.
04:59Yeah, why would they die?
05:05Oh, I like her.
05:06I know you do.
05:07God.
05:08It's got Abbott energy, innit?
05:09Yeah, I was gonna say that, innit?
05:10Yeah, I was gonna say that, innit?
05:14It's bringing it back to the noughties with them white suits.
05:17I want a Steps makeover.
05:18What era is Steps?
05:201960s, I think.
05:21I mean, seriously.
05:22It's a banger, to be fair.
05:23A banger.
05:24That's a traditional banger.
05:25And we're gonna go into a Steps medley.
05:26They can't just be doing Summer of Love.
05:27I need more.
05:28Ooh.
05:29Transition to a new Steps banger.
05:30Ooh, yes.
05:31I love a transition.
05:32There was something in your voice.
05:33There she is, fresh from Dubai.
05:34Here's Lisa.
05:35It's just Lisa.
05:36Lisa about to sing, yes.
05:37With their big boots on, loveless.
05:38My thigh highs.
05:39Did you ever have a peanut butter?
05:40No.
05:41No.
05:42No.
05:43No.
05:44No.
05:45No.
05:46No.
05:47No.
05:48No.
05:49No.
05:50No.
05:51No.
05:52No.
05:53No.
05:54No.
05:55No.
05:56No.
05:57No.
05:58No.
05:59No.
06:00No.
06:01No.
06:02No.
06:03No.
06:04No.
06:05No.
06:06No.
06:07No.
06:08No.
06:09Oh, a little.
06:10Bit of filth.
06:11Ooh.
06:12I don't like those weird movements they're doing there.
06:14What do they signify?
06:15I thought we had it made.
06:18Is it Jed Wood?
06:19No.
06:20I don't think so.
06:21He wasn't in Steps.
06:22They still all look good though, don't they?
06:23Yeah, they do.
06:24He's nearly 50.
06:25Oh.
06:26Each.
06:27Is he?
06:28Yes.
06:29Oh.
06:30I love a bit of that.
06:31I can do that.
06:32Now I see everything I can do.
06:34I can do it really fast as well.
06:36Look how fast it goes.
06:37Oh, aye.
06:38Bit of bongos.
06:39Get the judges in.
06:40Look at this lot.
06:41They look sharp as well, the judges.
06:42I know you're somewhere else right now.
06:43It's one for sorrow.
06:44Oh, I love one for sorrow.
06:45I know you're somewhere else right now.
06:46It's one for sorrow.
06:47Oh, I love one for sorrow.
06:48It's one for sorrow.
06:49Ain't it too, too bad.
06:51Your WHAT?
06:52It's one for sorrow.
06:53I know you're somewhere else right now.
06:54It's one for sorrow.
06:55Oh, I love one for sorrow.
06:56Ain't it too, too bad.
06:57Bring your someone else's right now.
07:00I know you're somewhere else right now.
07:01It's one for sorrow!
07:02Oh, I love one for sorrow.
07:03One for sorrow.
07:05Ain't it too, too bad.
07:10I'm so look like you should be serving canapes
07:17Look a grab. Oh fucking great. Oh, I don't know. What's his name? Great. Oh, that was great. Great
07:28I think you do have a look at classes. That's about you still name. She's prettier and can say
07:40Oh
07:45Again, I feel as I want to get up dance one day. Well, you don't want to do that
07:59Do you know what I bloody love Blackpool hey, I bet you didn't know this but the actual ballroom in Blackpool
08:06It's got a sprung floor that yes, you can play squash on it
08:10I
08:16Think I know this one
08:18This is what everyone who came for this is what people came for
08:29They've saved the best till last stop me when the feelings gone and you can't go on it's tragedy
08:36Me too, there's butchering me
08:38Me too, there's butchering me
08:40Oh
08:46This is the working man's YMCA this
08:48Oh
08:58It went wrong
09:04That's a tragedy piss off
09:06In the Cotswolds
09:08In the Cotswolds
09:09Darling, I've got a surprise
09:11What is it?
09:12That I brought back from my very brief trip to Mexico
09:14What is in there?
09:15Our friends have had something done for us
09:17Our friends have had something done for us
09:18Oh God
09:19Andrew and his husband Alfie
09:21I have a great unveil
09:23What is that?
09:29Perkins, what do you think?
09:31Luckily
09:32Perkins looks startled
09:33Lucky he can't speak
09:34Well darling, it's not bad of me
09:37I think it's
09:38I mean
09:39Well I'm glad you look alright
09:40I mean
09:41I mean
09:42You look a bit unshaven
09:43What?
09:44I think it's done from a photo
09:46I mean
09:47It's very kind
09:48I wonder where it should go
09:50Downstairs cupboard
09:52On Friday
09:53The BBC brought us news to get us all in the mood
09:56Is it
09:57Do you want apple crumble overnight oats
09:59Or banoffee overnight wheat bisques?
10:02Banoffee overnight wheat bisques
10:04Well I wanted that one
10:05The last Friday before Black Friday
10:07Even though all the deals have already begun
10:09Yeah
10:10Page the tip was saying that it's Black Friday today
10:12And it ain't
10:13No it's next week
10:14No
10:15She's going
10:16I need the credit card because it's Black Friday
10:20Nice try
10:21Yeah, very good
10:24Good afternoon, welcome to the BBC News at 1
10:27Oh gosh
10:28She looks like Olivia Newton-John
10:31Now we ask her every year
10:33How soon is too soon for the tinsel?
10:35Now it's too soon
10:36I'm fucking sick of it
10:37Never too soon for me
10:39Never too soon for me
10:41It's not soon enough, sweetheart
10:43No
10:44I've pulled the trigger
10:45My decks are up
10:46For some
10:47Thoughts turn to the tree
10:48As soon as Guy Fawkes has cooled off
10:50No, I won't go that far
10:51No, no, no, no, no, no, no
10:53But for others
10:54Digging out the decks too soon
10:55Can spoil the big day
10:57Well
10:58Does it really matter?
11:00I was sitting on a loo in an airport
11:02In fucking September
11:03And they're playing Jingle Bells
11:05I love it that people treejaculate
11:07And put it up early
11:08Because do you know what?
11:09Winter's miserable enough
11:11Stick some fucking festive lights on it
11:13And have a nice time
11:14Anna White has been asking shoppers in Hull
11:16Whether their build up has started
11:18I feel we could do with a bit of a cull this year
11:21I disagree, I think we need more decorations
11:23No, no
11:24It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas
11:28Oh no
11:30Oh no
11:32That's cute
11:33Well it certainly is at the garden centre
11:35Orncy garden centre
11:37And you had seen them fucking three things before
11:40Yeah
11:41I've been to that garden centre
11:42Is it too early to be decked up for Christmas?
11:44Is it mollocks?
11:45Next question
11:46No, I don't think so
11:47No, I don't think so
11:48You're good on your girl
11:50See?
11:51That old lady said she doesn't think so
11:53Oh well then we'll go with her shall we?
11:55I agree
11:56Do you think we're going earlier?
11:57Yeah, I think we are
11:58Because it's old in the shops earlier isn't it?
12:00Yeah
12:01So I think that puts you in the mood
12:03I think it's too early
12:04They've got the Christmas tree up in the hairdressers already
12:07And I was offered a mince pie and a Bailey's
12:10That was last week
12:11You look like you're dressed to go on Santa's sleigh
12:14That's a bit bloody rude
12:15What are you dressed like dear?
12:16Can I say you look magnificent?
12:18Oh thank you
12:20I've seen them in the gardens already
12:22Can't be done with coloured lights
12:23No
12:24No
12:25I don't like coloured lights
12:26Just keep it chic
12:27Just keep it classy
12:28Yeah you see I always veer though
12:30I want to keep it chic and classy
12:32And then I start putting tinsel over paintings
12:34No
12:35My wife, two kids
12:36It's definitely a Christmasy household
12:39But I'm a bit of a scrooge so
12:41What we want to be asking is a Fiat 500 driver
12:44That's got an eggnog latte in her hands
12:46Yeah
12:47Then we'll see if it's too early
12:49Whatever the reason
12:50Is it ever too early?
12:52Yes
12:53No
12:54Amanda White, BBC News
12:56In a surprisingly festive huntsy
12:59Do whatever makes you happy that's what I say
13:01Oh I love Christmasy
13:03I don't want anything
13:06What are you crying for?
13:07Because I just love it
13:08I just love it
13:09It's a happy time Jenny
13:10I know it is, I know
13:11I just love it
13:20In Leeds
13:21Well you'll be pleased to know
13:23That I've treated myself to a new bra
13:26Oh yeah
13:27Sisters Ellie and Izzy
13:29Because I needed a new black bra so that my tits weren't all in a jumble for my Christmas works, Christmas do
13:35Finally
13:36Yeah
13:37Anyway, and you told me that I were a 36 back didn't you from looking at my other bras
13:42So I just went into the supermarket, found the black bras, got the cup, put it up against my boob like that
13:50In the middle of the supermarket?
13:52Yeah I'm like this
13:53In the supermarket
13:54Yeah I'm like this
13:55In the supermarket
13:56And I thought
13:57That'll do
13:58Take that
13:59I haven't even tried it on yet
14:00You better hope it's alright
14:01You better try it on tonight
14:02Put it on tonight
14:04Well I mean what's worse that can happen
14:06This week we went back to the upside down world with the long awaited return of this on Netflix
14:13I've waited all year for this now and I didn't really want to watch it with you but you're here so
14:18Shut up
14:19Now Dad what you have to remember is that when this series started the kids were like 12 years old
14:25Right
14:26They're about 32 now
14:27Okay
14:28So you'll have to suspend disbelief a little bit
14:30I've even got Stranger Things pyjamas they say I'm that much of a super fan yeah
14:38Bloody hell
14:39You know every time I see a Christmas lights now I can't look at it the same
14:42Yeah
14:43I just think of Stranger Things
14:44Will
14:45Will is that you?
14:46Will
14:47Send me a message
14:54So that's Mike and Nancy's little sister the baby that is no longer a baby Holly
14:57I want her outfit
14:58It's cute
14:59It's cute
15:04What's she saying there?
15:10Who's she waving to?
15:11What is that there's a shadow?
15:13Holly?
15:16Holly?
15:17Who's that ass?
15:20Holly?
15:21Bryce?
15:22I've been calling you
15:23I'm sorry
15:24Nobody's there
15:25Who's she waving at?
15:26I don't know
15:27Right this is creepy already Ellie turn it off
15:29Playtime's over
15:31Come on
15:35She spotted someone again?
15:36I wonder what she's seeing
15:39Hi
15:40Who's Holly talking to?
15:41She knows them she's not scared of them
15:43Oh yeah
15:44Oh yeah
15:45Miss Paris
15:47No one
15:48No one
15:49No one
15:50She's not talking to anyone
15:51Oh you do that all the time?
15:53Yeah I do I'm alright in that world
15:55At Finn
15:56Standing there talking to nobody
15:58Well she's hardly the first child to have an imaginary friend
16:02I wouldn't need to worry if she was five years old
16:05Oh the parents are arguing about her being weird
16:07It's causing a kerfuffle
16:09Oh she's real upset look
16:15What are you crying for?
16:16Well she's had a bit of a tough day
16:18She's talking to people and they're not even there
16:24Oh you know it's always the lights
16:26It's the lights when they flick off
16:27It's always the lights
16:28That's the sign the demigorgon's coming for their house is it?
16:30Oh for fuck's sake I don't like this
16:32I don't like this
16:36Oh shit
16:37Oh it's gonna go under the ceiling
16:39They're here, they're here, they're here
16:45Oh my god
16:46Oh it's one of them
16:48It's a demigorgon
16:49Oh whatever
16:54Oh my god
16:55Oh it's throwing roll off of the show
16:57Oh my god
16:58Oh my god
16:59Oh my god
17:00Can you hear the drums tremendous
17:01Can you hear the drums tremendous
17:03She's pissed going in the bathroom, are they?
17:05Oh look at her
17:06I mean this is a vibe though isn't it?
17:08Never mind your bubble bath pet
17:12Your kids getting eaten
17:13Dragged down the bedroom by the demigorgon
17:15Oh baby baby what are you doing?
17:17What's wrong?
17:18There's a monster in there
17:19I can't slow down
17:20Listen to the girl man you silly cow
17:23Mom please
17:24You gotta believe me
17:25You got blood or not?
17:28Blood
17:29There you go
17:30There you go
17:31Thank you
17:32Take her seriously
17:34What the heck
17:35Mr. Weirder get the shotgun
17:42Oh
17:43Oh here we go
17:44Oh my god
17:47Where have they gone?
17:48In the suds don't they?
17:55Oh they're gonna die
17:56They're gonna die
17:57Are they just holding their breath?
17:58Oh wow
17:59How long could you hold your breath for though?
18:01That is a very good question
18:02While panicking
18:03Yeah
18:05Yes
18:10It's Ted
18:11It's Ted with a golf club
18:12Thank god
18:13Oh shit
18:16There it is
18:17I don't have a good feeling about this
18:19Ted's dead
18:20Stay back
18:21Stay back
18:22Stay back
18:23Stay back
18:25Swipe him you silly cow
18:28Oh bloody hell
18:32Oh it's killed him
18:34Oh
18:35You see what happened when you face it?
18:36Forget that
18:39Oh
18:40Oh
18:41Oh shit
18:42Oh shit
18:43You never run when your feet are wet
18:47Come on get up
18:48Oh leave her
18:49Oh please please
18:50Don't leave Vex her mother
18:53Oh
18:54Right here he is
18:58Yes
18:59Oh she's got a bottle in
19:01Oh
19:02Straight in the kisser
19:05Yes
19:06The cavalry's coming
19:07Turn off
19:08She got the shotty
19:09That's his heart
19:10This is a five
19:14Oh my god
19:15What she is
19:16What she see
19:20Oh no it's her mum
19:22God Karen's dead in it
19:23Fucking joking she's dead
19:24She's dead in it
19:28Is she still alive
19:29No
19:30It's gonna be fine
19:31Okay
19:32You're gonna be fine
19:33Holly
19:34Holly
19:35Where's Holly?
19:36Oh shit yeah where's Holly?
19:37It took her
19:39It took her
19:40It took her
19:41It took her
19:42Oh we've taken her to the upside down
19:45Jesus Christ man
19:47I just like how realistic it all is
19:50Oh it puts stuff in your head
19:52There's no wonder these kids can't go to sleep
19:55All the shite to watch
19:56In Solihull
20:01Close your eyes
20:02Where are you?
20:03Keep your eyes closed
20:04Oh
20:05I'm in the kitchen
20:06Open your eyes
20:07Theresa and her wife Anita
20:09Oh yeah
20:10Oh my god
20:11What do you reckon?
20:12We could have a different colour every night of the week
20:14Yeah and look a mixture
20:15Oh lovely
20:16I'm very very very happy
20:17Are you?
20:18No
20:19On Sunday it was a countdown of the best hymns that took us down memory lane on BBC One
20:34I love school assembly sing-along
20:35I've been getting warmed up me and Bobby have been going to mass haven't we?
20:36This is the big school assembly sing-along
20:37Oh it's Ali
20:38Oh Ali did get his face in anyway
20:39Was he?
20:40Singing?
20:41Is he singing in the rain?
20:42No
20:43Ali Jones they always wheel him out for old singing don't they?
20:47There'll be riots if Shine Jesus Shine isn't in the top three
21:01There'll be riots from me if Lord of the Dance isn't in it
21:04That was our wedding song
21:05It was our wedding song
21:06The apples are ripe
21:08The plums are red
21:10The broad bees are sleeping in the blacky teabed
21:14What up what up what up what up what up what up what up what up hey listen
21:19We don't remember that
21:20No
21:21I can now reveal that number two is a traditional hymn
21:24Oh number two
21:25If this isn't give me oil in my lamp keep me burning switch it off
21:30It is of course give me oil in my lamp
21:33Take it away
21:34Give me oil in my lamp
21:35This is a tune man
21:37Give me oil in my lamp keep me burning
21:44Give me oil in my lamp I pray
21:52Give me oil in my lamp I pray
21:55Is that meant to be me?
21:56Yes
21:57Oil in my lamp keep me burning
21:58My lamb keepy burning
22:07Remember this one
22:09Let's say those are there to the king of kings
22:19To the king god, this is the most undiverse program. I think I've ever watched
22:28I'm kind of over after the first verse of everything. Are you? Yes. You feel I've done that been there, right? Let's move on
22:41That's like oh you were brought up with girls like that with faces like that. Yes
22:48normal people normal
22:58Oh
23:20That was a right old him hold down in it yeah, I actually feel like I've just been in assembly
23:25With my father. Yeah, I tell you what bollocks to your oasis tickets at 450 quid a pop get me in there
23:32Yeah, that's my oasis. Isn't it funny and forget what you've had for breakfast, but you never forget them words
23:38What did you have for breakfast?
23:40In blackpool, I tell you all the kids there's so much like me and page
23:54Jimmy's like me where is either under mile an hour always wanting to be doing something like page
24:00She comes alive at night Pete and his little sister Sophie
24:03Eva is like you in some respects though because remember when mom gave a 50p for the charity book kids and everyone else put their money
24:11In and then we looked at Eva's hand and her knuckles weren't almost white
24:16Yeah, clinging on to a 50p piece. Well, she's not daft is she apple never falls far from the tree
24:22On Friday night animals were getting up to all sorts on discovery drunk animals are quite funny
24:29I know it's not right. That's because of the generation you were born into
24:35Because you have the pg-tips monkeys. Yeah smoking monkey monkey monkeys. That's not okay. It's not okay
24:44Drunk bears
24:46It's happening. I've seen drunk monkeys. They get drunk. Yeah, I've seen monkeys taking away a bottle. Oh, do you remember that friend of us?
24:53The monkey was taking booze out of our house the whole time and the toothpaste probably to get rid of the smell of the booze
25:00So nobody else knew in the program. We met wildlife expert forest off to meet a bear
25:05But now we're pulling into bowser's peace sanctuary
25:08Which is where the guy named Stanton who was apparently an alcoholic has a bear that was also an alcoholic
25:15What how does a bear get a corkscrew like?
25:18And the two helped each other overcome their addictions
25:23What is this like an AA meeting?
25:27In the woods an AA meeting in the woods between a bear and a man. I hear that you have a bear
25:37Lupin
25:39You want to come and meet him and share some time with him and you'll experience the stuff I can't explain what meet the who is he talking about?
25:46Come and meet the bear. He must be joking. What you want me to go in there with him?
25:52An angry recovering alcoholic bear
25:55So guys, we are going in with a live bear here. Okay, your energy and your body language is super important
26:01Very calm, very smooth, very gentle. That's how we want to be with him. Got it?
26:05How about I just record you from a distance from a distance. Yeah
26:09Hey, hey, hey bear. Hey, buddy. Hi
26:14Jesus Christ. He's brave, isn't he? To be fair. No, no, he looks like a nice bear. He's a changed bear. Yeah
26:22Sobriety has done him a lot of good. He's done wonders of good for the bear. Boris, you can give him a treat just right
26:27Oh, look at that. I thought he might take your finger off or another finger off. Oh, he's got one finger gone already
26:33He's missing a finger index index is gone. No, that was it. That was a different different day
26:42I heard that you had a problem with addiction and depression and that he had a problem with addiction. Can you clarify that for me?
26:49Oh
26:51He's having a coffee. Somewhere along there bowser came and showed me a whole different life that I didn't even know was possible
26:57Oh my god
26:59He's just giving you a hug. Is that sweet or is he trying to kill him? No, no, he's having a hug
27:04Oh my god, that bear's getting a bit rough in it. He's getting a bit chokehold in that bear
27:09And I met bowser and what's that turned into was an understanding of how
27:14Look, I mean he's got his head right by his mouth
27:17How that connection can help us
27:19Ron
27:21And he's showing off so i'm gonna have to be a daddy. Oh, he's showing off so i'm gonna have to be a daddy
27:27Oh, i'm not liking this chase, sir. Yeah, yeah easy
27:32Talk me through what you're doing. He's wrestling the bear. Oh my god. What i'm actually doing here there
27:39He's grappling with the bear
27:43I'm laying him down. Yeah, if I can get to his belly. Yeah, he's gonna be in his belly in a minute
27:49Jesus
27:50No, this ain't real, this ain't real
27:52I'm gonna show him to his boss
27:54Tickle tickle tickle tickle tickle tickle tickle
27:58Shh
28:00No, easy
28:01This is getting a bit fucking silly now
28:03Oh, here it goes. He's trying to eat your head
28:06It's just a word of warning. He's trying to eat your head
28:09He's got his head in his mouth
28:14No, no, this is our love. Okay, it's fucking brushing him now
28:18This is how he this is how he communicates
28:21Get out of there now because it's too much
28:23I don't want anything to let me damage to you
28:25No
28:26I mean, it's meant that he's only ever bitten one of stanton's fingers off
28:31Yeah, you know, that's only really what he's done
28:33But that is a small price to pay for love
28:35In South East London
28:40Do you know, I love you in that black T-shirt
28:43You look quite sexy with that under your shirt
28:47Yeah
28:47Annie and her husband, Ronnie
28:49It reminds me of the days
28:51We're reminiscing a bit here, isn't we?
28:53I know
28:54You ain't forgot
28:55You used to have a black T-shirt
28:58And you used to have your love beads around it
29:01That's it
29:02Except your hair was down your back
29:04Yeah, well, it's not now, is it?
29:06No
29:06Your hair's just not there
29:08I can't even get it to go down my ears
29:12Let alone anything else
29:13On Monday, more con artists were up to no good on BBC One
29:18Until the boys changed my privacy settings on Facebook
29:22I was getting lots of messages
29:23Oh, yeah
29:24From American soldiers
29:26Wanted to chat with me
29:31Get off your head
29:32This isn't any old Scam Interceptors, Pedders
29:38This is Celebrity Scam Interceptors
29:41They do have the celebrity version of everything now, don't they?
29:44Well, celebrities, you know, they don't discriminate
29:46They can be scammed as well
29:48What I do is I go on my online banking and think I've been scammed
29:52Then I look at the transactions and realise they're all me
29:55Today in the Glasgow Scam Hub
29:58Glasgow Scam Hub?
29:59Yeah
29:59Wow, I didn't know there was one there
30:01There's a new member of the team
30:03Celebrity Scam Interceptor, Amanda Holden
30:07Amanda Holden!
30:09What's Mandy doing here?
30:10Scammers have been using her image to trick people out of money
30:14Oh!
30:15Yes, I've read that
30:17Identity for all
30:19Yes!
30:20I can't stand injustice
30:22And my family and friends say I'm always up for a fight
30:26She looks like she's always up for a fight, doesn't she?
30:29She's like you, Mary
30:30She likes to catch culprits
30:31Yeah
30:32So I put your name in to see where are these profiles lurking
30:34I was amazed at how many other profiles were actually there
30:37There were hundreds
30:39Are these all Amanda Holden?
30:40Yeah!
30:41Fucking hell!
30:42So I'd like to ask you if you would recognise this picture at all
30:46Well, yes, that's me
30:47It was in Dubai
30:48Oh!
30:49Pick that one all
30:50That was one of the pictures that one of the scammers were using
30:52But I said, can you please send me a video to verify your identity?
30:56Ah, this is where they get caught out because they can't send a video, can they?
30:59And they did
31:00What?
31:00Oh, he's got one
31:02I am Amanda Holden
31:04Obviously, I am real
31:08Wow!
31:09They've made a video out of the photo run
31:11That's crazy, isn't it?
31:13Isn't it crazy?
31:15And I am shocked you would not believe this is true
31:17Don't sound out like it
31:19Uncle Barry's had it all the time on Bloody AI
31:22Turning pictures into videos
31:24Have you not seen him, do we?
31:26Yeah, I have
31:26Making Auntie Margaret, riding horses and stuff like that
31:29Yeah
31:29And we've got something now that we're going to show you Amanda
31:32Because Amanda, it's time for you to meet Scamander
31:35Scamander Holden
31:36Scamander
31:37Why are you making it sound sexy?
31:39I don't know
31:40I've got one little treat for you
31:42I have this guy on WhatsApp
31:44What?
31:45No
31:46Oh, call him
31:48Taking on the role of superfan Stephen
31:50I message the scammer
31:53Oh, here we go
31:53This is so cool
31:55Here we go
31:56What?
31:58Reply straight away
31:59Oh, key
32:00You can use a voice note if you want to say something today
32:03So you need to say
32:05I'm in the bank now
32:06You see, that will get him to chat
32:07Yes, Amanda, let's talk
32:09Yes
32:10Come on
32:10That will get him to chat
32:11Hey, Amanda
32:13I don't know what to do with this money
32:15I don't know where it goes
32:17Can you just call me, babe?
32:18Babe
32:18Can you call me?
32:20He's a superfan
32:21He's pretending
32:21He's scamming the scammer
32:23He's scamming Scamander
32:24Will you talk to my manager
32:25Because I'm busy and can't take calls now
32:28To be honest with you
32:28That probably would be something Amanda would say as well
32:31Imagine if it really is Amanda's manager
32:33My heart is racing
32:35This is how I feel just before the thing goes back on Britain's Got Talent
32:40Oh, she always has to get something done, she
32:42Amanda, is that your manager?
32:44Is that your manager?
32:44Oh, right
32:45This is brilliant, isn't it?
32:47Is Amanda there? I've got her money
32:49Yeah, okay, you've got her money
32:52This is an instruction
32:53So we're reaching out at this right now
32:55Imagine that
32:56So straightforward
32:57Not even, like, lower line
32:59Say, oh, like, yeah, I'll guide you through it
33:00Whatever
33:01Yeah, this is the instruction
33:02I've got the bank staff here
33:06They're just going to check the address
33:08Amanda's talking to him now
33:10What's she going to do?
33:10She's going to pretend to be the bank manager
33:12Oh, my God
33:14Hello, good afternoon
33:15I just want to check the amount of money that Amanda needs
33:19Look at Amanda
33:20She sounds like a cashier, doesn't she?
33:22In the bank
33:23Hello, Claire
33:23Yeah
33:24She needs about £10,000 for the investment
33:26How much?
33:27£10,000?
33:29Okay, sir
33:30Can I let you know my name so you know who you're dealing with?
33:35Yeah, let me know your name
33:36Yeah, go on, go on
33:38Drum roll
33:39Dun, dun, dun, dun
33:40My name is Amanda Holden
33:42Oh, shit!
33:45You little fucker
33:46I know everything about you
33:48Oh, he's uncle
33:50He's uncle
33:51Bye!
33:52And just like that
33:53The scam's over
33:54Yeah
33:54Yes!
33:56Look at her face
33:58Look at her face
33:59Look at her face
33:59She's absolutely steaming
34:02Oh, you little
34:05That says you little shit
34:06I know everything about you
34:09Well done, Amanda
34:11Yeah, good girl
34:12All he'll do now is shut that account down and pop up as Alicia Dixon
34:16Yeah
34:16In Hall
34:25I think you've done real well, Lee, in a week
34:28It's good
34:29What are you looking at?
34:30Your mustache
34:30Best friends, Jenny and Lee
34:33Do you know something?
34:33I keep forgetting I've got it
34:34Do you?
34:35I was talking to somebody yesterday in the cabinet
34:36You're not like staring at me
34:38But what are you looking at?
34:40No, it's grown
34:41Especially when you said, oh, he looked like an 80s porn star
34:44Really?
34:46I won't go that far
34:48This week, it was a surprising all-star turnout for a brand-new drama on Prime Video
34:54Because you've got to tell who's in this and all
34:57It's David DeCogne
34:58Out of the X-Files
35:00Sir
35:00Remember him?
35:02No, I can't
35:03With Gillian Anderson
35:04I don't know where
35:05She was iconic in the day
35:07Well, I can't remember
35:08You don't take anything in, do you, at all?
35:10But I don't even remember watching it
35:12There's Jack
35:16Aye
35:17I remember him now
35:18Have they made Jack White all look really sexy?
35:24Everybody's looking sexy at the moment
35:25I think it's the testosterone gel
35:27It's worrying
35:28Oh, God
35:28You need to just monitor that, Mum
35:30Oh, US Customs
35:34Nobody wants to go through US Customs
35:36Have you done your Ester?
35:38Come with me, please, sir
35:39Sure
35:40Oh, Jesus
35:42He's only just arrived
35:43Hopefully they don't get the old
35:44glove out
35:45My name's Nikki Delgado
35:47I'm an agent with the Department of Homeland Security
35:49Oh, this sounds a bit ominous
35:50Do you know the Tanner family?
35:53And a man called Jamie Tanner
35:54Yes
35:55Yes, he knows him
35:56He's a bit too calm
35:57For me
35:58I spent the last month working for him and living in his house
36:01OK, what's happened to Jamie Tanner?
36:04Well
36:04What's she showing him?
36:07Jamie Tanner, is he dead?
36:09This is horrible
36:10What's horrible?
36:11Think someone's toast, Paris
36:13But in a way, I'm not surprised
36:14Oh, why am I not surprised?
36:16Well, what is it?
36:17That's a strange comment, isn't it?
36:19Jamie Tanner was not a very nice man
36:21Oh
36:22Neither was Elsie Tanner in Coronation Street
36:25She was a bugger
36:27Malice
36:33Is it not a name?
36:35No
36:35Malice is a type of meaning
36:38Like a palace
36:40No
36:41Oh, now that looks nice
36:47Don't forget we've gone back in time now
36:49Oh, no
36:51Hang on a minute
36:51What?
36:53I'm going back in time
36:54Look at that bud
36:59He's got a six pack and everything
37:01God, I can get to that very easily
37:04Go on then
37:05Hi
37:06You must be Jamie
37:08Yeah
37:08Adam
37:09So nice to meet you
37:10What an amazing place this is
37:12How long have you had it?
37:1410 or 12 years
37:15Already bad vibes
37:16You're here to tutor Millie?
37:17Yeah, just a bit
37:18A tutor
37:19Oh, I had a couple of them
37:22Didn't do much for you, did the maths?
37:24English
37:25English
37:25French
37:26Waste of time
37:29A bit later
37:30And Jack had picked up a couple of octopuses for dinner
37:33Ooh
37:36Oh my God, he's unhinged
37:39Daniel, I don't like him
37:40He's scaring me
37:40He's really giving me the eebie-jeebs
37:42Ah, that's octopus
37:48Oh
37:48Gross
37:51Very gross
37:52Yeah
37:53Love to fucking gut you and hang you on a line
37:55What?
37:56What the fucking hell?
38:01Is he a psychopath?
38:02That's not normal
38:03Oh, really?
38:05Oh, yeah
38:05I'm out
38:06Get me out of here
38:07Get me out of here
38:08Travelodge
38:09Travelodge
38:09Literally
38:10Travelodge
38:11I think if we're able to shake off Damien for the night
38:14Maybe we should try out that place
38:16Ooh
38:17Your kind of establishment?
38:23Oh, it's CD
38:24Oh, is it a strip club?
38:29Knew it
38:30Dirty bar
38:31Do you know they do lessons in that now?
38:33Night school
38:34I was gonna, yeah
38:35I was gonna join
38:36What?
38:37A few years ago
38:38I was
38:39Two sambucus, please
38:40Sambuca
38:41Oh, no
38:42Yamas
38:43Yamas
38:45Yamas
38:46Yamas
38:47Yasso
38:47Pouring his away, getting him pissed
38:52Why is he doing it?
38:53Why is he trying to get Jamie pissed?
38:55And I used to do that at all
38:56Oh, you lying
38:57I've never seen you tip a drink out
38:59We've all been there
39:05I've crawled down my drive a few times
39:08But not all the way home
39:09You always crawl
39:10Yeah, in fact, I do crawl a lot when I'm drunk
39:16Yeah
39:16Oh, no, this is creepy
39:21Jack's got him where he wants him, nothing
39:23What does Jack want to do to him?
39:28This is not tomorrow night when I get him from Christmas do
39:31Waiting for me to go up to bed
39:33I could kill you right now if I wanted
39:36Oh, no
39:37A what?
39:37But why does he even consider that?
39:40But I'm not gonna do that
39:42Oh, well what are you gonna do then, you weirdo?
39:44What a nasty piece of work he's turned out to be
39:47The cosy manny
39:49Cos I want you to suffer
39:51Oh, hello, what?
39:53Now this sounds revengeful
39:55Doesn't it?
39:56Just like I did
39:58It's a vendetta
40:00Ooh
40:01For what?
40:04Oh, friggin' hell
40:05Now I've got to sit here all night
40:08Working out, ooh, ooh, ooh
40:09And what's the connection?
40:11And what's the connection?
40:12It's very unlikely that Jack Whitehall be a serial killer
40:16I mean, it makes it rather unpleasant to watch
40:20Beggar's belief
40:21It's almost as if you had Queen Elizabeth II being a psycho killer
40:25You know, Jack Whitehall
40:28Of course not
40:29It's unlikely, isn't it?
40:33In Leeds
40:34Have you seen out of Auntie Margaret since she's been back off her halls?
40:38So, she called round last night
40:40She didn't come in, she just stood at the door
40:42Because she'd been sorting out at Arcadia's
40:44Sisters Ellie and Izzy
40:46Margaret didn't have a right lot to say
40:48I can't believe
40:50Since Margaret's come back off holiday
40:52None of us have heard anything off her
40:54Where's she been?
40:56Been to Selby with Barry
40:57Yeah, bloody
40:58Her and Barry being out for a drive
40:59God
41:00You'd think she'd have had enough of him
41:02After spending 11 nights with him
41:04I think I'd want to strangle Toby
41:05After 11 nights on holiday with him
41:07Just us two
41:08Never mind, go for a drive to Selby
41:11I know
41:12Bloody hell, Margaret
41:14Put Barry down
41:15She can't get enough of him
41:17This week, the world's sexiest man
41:20Was putting us to sleep on the BBC
41:22I'm keeping the remote
41:24I know, why are you keeping the remote?
41:25Because you won't let me watch it
41:27Oh, God
41:28Will you sit still?
41:30I'm all kidding
41:31CBeebies bedtime story
41:35We're watching C-fucking-Beebies
41:37Hello
41:38I'm Jonathan
41:39Oh, hello
41:40Jonathan
41:41I know who you are
41:43Oh, calm down
41:44I'm not calming down
41:46It's bedtime
41:47Do you love magic?
41:48Oh, yeah, I love magic, Jonathan
41:50He's just been crowned
41:51The most sexiest man 2025
41:53Christ almighty
41:55I'm dying to watch this then, Julie
41:56Yeah, me too
41:58Oh, he's doing this for the mums, isn't he?
42:01Is he?
42:02Well, and some does
42:03I'd love to be able to cast spells
42:05Like witches and wizards
42:07Oh, he's got a lovely voice
42:08He has got a nice voice, hasn't he?
42:09It's a rather smoothie verb
42:10It'd be good for a telephone sex
42:12If you weren't into that
42:14And if I was magical
42:15Do you know what I'd do right now?
42:18What?
42:18I think you're magical, Jonathan
42:20Oh, please, can you get a grip?
42:23You know, if I was magical
42:24You wouldn't be fucking sat in there
42:25You wouldn't be telling bedtime stories
42:28Of course, yeah
42:29I'd conjure up a cute, cuddly little friend
42:32To sit here with me
42:33While I read you a bedtime story
42:35I bet you would
42:37That's me
42:37I'm cute
42:39I'm cuddly
42:40I'm the one you want
42:41There he is
42:45Ladies
42:46Maybe I am magic after all
42:49I think you are
42:50No, I see
42:51I can't cope with this
42:52Oh
42:52What are you talking about?
42:54Is he?
42:55Look at Jonathan's bulge
42:56Bloody hell
42:59I love a jeans bulge
43:00Do you?
43:03Now
43:04We're ready for a magical bedtime
43:06Oh
43:07So
43:08Snuggle up
43:09And get ready for an exciting adventure
43:12Okay
43:12Snuggle up
43:13I'm getting snuggled, Jonathan
43:15I think you should go home
43:17I watch this
43:17It's called Room on the Broom
43:19Room on the Broom
43:21Room
43:22Room on my broom, mate
43:24Oh, for fuck's sake
43:25And it was written by Julia Donaldson
43:28Julia Donaldson
43:30One of my favourite actual authors, that
43:32Julia Donaldson
43:33She writes kids' books
43:35Yeah
43:35With illustrations by Axel Scheffler
43:38Say Axel Scheffler, Steve
43:40Axel Scheffler
43:42Not bad
43:44The witch had a cat
43:46And a very tall hat
43:48And long ginger hair
43:50Which she wore in a plait
43:52The witch is ginger like me
43:53Yeah, she looks a bit like you
43:55And how the cat spat
43:56That's insulting
43:57How the cat purred
44:00Oh
44:00Purred
44:03What is going on here
44:05You know, this is definitely not bedtime story
44:08And how the witch grinned
44:10I'm lost and transfixed by this
44:12He could be reading the Bible for all I know
44:14Then, out of the bushes, on thundering paws
44:18You don't have to look at the pictures
44:21You just listen to his voice
44:22The dog with the hat in his jaws
44:24He dropped it, politely
44:27Then eagerly said
44:29Bent over and pick it up
44:30Banana
44:32I am a dog
44:34As keen as can be
44:36Is there room on the broom for a dog like me?
44:39Are you attracted to him?
44:40Well, I think he's quite entertaining
44:42You wouldn't throw him out
44:44That tells him not the right age group
44:46To go out with him
44:47However
44:48My only thing I have against this
44:52Is I'm dreading it ending
44:54She dropped it, politely
44:55And bent her head low
44:57Go on
44:58Then said
44:59As the witch tied her plait in a bow
45:01I am a bird
45:03I'm a bird
45:04As green as can be
45:06Is there room on the broom
45:08For a bird like me?
45:09Yes
45:10Is there room on the broom for a bird like me?
45:14They shot through the sky
45:16To the back of beyond
45:17The witch clutched her bow
45:19But let go of her wand
45:22Aww
45:22So now the wand's gone now
45:25So who's going to find the wand now?
45:27You two are invested in it
45:29Then
45:29All of a sudden
45:31From out of a pond
45:32Leapt a dripping wet frog
45:35With a dripping wet wand
45:37A dripping wet wand
45:39Oh for God's sake
45:42That's a bit much
45:44I tell you what
45:45You'd be paying £2.50 a minute
45:46If this were on Babes Day
45:47Over the moors
45:50And the mountains they flew
45:51The frog jumped for joy
45:54And
45:55Oh
45:56What's that?
45:58The broom snapped in two
45:59Oh my days
46:01Oh the last thing you want to do
46:02Is snap your broom mid-flight
46:04The witch was so kind
46:06To let the dog
46:08The bird
46:08And the frog
46:09Join her and the cat
46:10On the broom
46:11Yeah
46:11I wonder if there's room on the broom
46:13For a Jonathan like me
46:14Goodnight
46:16I don't think so
46:18Oh
46:21Turn it off
46:22Night night Lee
46:23Night night
46:24Well Sandy's doing the Riviera by rail
46:32Toxvig takes the train tomorrow at five past eight
46:35And we've got new drama
46:36A true story from the Troubles
46:38Maxine Peake and Lola Petticrew
46:40In Say Nothing
46:42Beginning Monday at nine
46:43Stay with us here on Channel 4
46:45The Last Leg is on the way next
46:47The Last Leg is on the way next
46:48The Last Leg is on the way next
46:49The Last Leg is on the way next
46:50The Last Leg is on the way next
46:51The Last Leg is on the way next
46:52The Last Leg is on the way next
46:53The Last Leg is on the way next
46:54The Last Leg is on the way next
46:55The Last Leg is on the way next
46:56The Last Leg is on the way next
46:57The Last Leg is on the way next
46:58The Last Leg is on the way next
46:59The Last Leg is on the way next
47:00The Last Leg is on the way next
47:01The Last Leg is on the way next
47:02The Last Leg is on the way next
47:03The Last Leg is on the way next
47:04The Last Leg is on the way next
47:05The Last Leg is on the way next
47:06The Last Leg is on the way next
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