- 8 hours ago
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00:00Shut up! Shut up, everybody! It's Gronk!
00:06Who's that again?
00:07You need to learn our culture. We are the center of the world.
00:09Rob Gronkowski, four-time Super Bowl winner, five-time Pro Bowl selection, tourist son, Libra rising.
00:14Are you going to answer that?
00:16Frank, take a deep breath.
00:18What's up, Gronk? How's my favorite 87?
00:20Of course I do favors. Need help moving? Throw the ball?
00:23Lady problems?
00:25Oh, you're outside.
00:25Remember, his favorite food is grass, and his favorite sport is women's soccer. Take good care of him.
00:33What's up, buddy?
00:33Hi, he has a full-on zebra with him, Frank.
00:36So Tommy gave me this guy a few months back.
00:38Tom Brady.
00:39He got it from Jules.
00:41Julian Edelman.
00:42Yes.
00:42Dude, pull back.
00:43Anyways, Tommy told me it was a teacup breed, which is awesome, because I love tiny stuff.
00:48Oh, my God, I'm tiny. I'm tiny.
00:50No one told me he'd keep growing. He's really cool.
00:53But the black and white stripes are kind of triggering.
00:56Anyways, can you guys find him a good home?
00:58Oh, yeah. I don't know that we can rehome a zebra, so.
01:02Can I talk to you for a sec?
01:03Huddle up.
01:04We're doing this.
01:05No, absolutely not. We have a hard enough time adopting out adorable puppies.
01:08Much less a Serengeti equine.
01:10Look, I don't ask much.
01:11All you do is ask for stuff.
01:12All right, worst case scenario, we leave him in a zoo parking lot after dark.
01:15Oh, I...
01:16We'll do that.
01:16Great news. We'll take him. We feel really good about this.
01:19Oh, thanks, man.
01:20Oh, it's what we do. That and tossing him back.
01:22Do you want to get a beer sometime?
01:25Sure, I'll call you.
01:26Gronk and I are getting a beer.
01:27He's not going to call you.
01:28He is. Gronk said it.
01:29I just got to make sure my ringer's on 24-7.
01:31I'm getting a beer with Gronk.
01:33That's sad, huh?
01:34Sorry.
01:38But you have your fourth kit. These caffeine drinks don't work.
01:58It's the sound of the yawn that I find most on satellite.
02:01See that big extension cord right there? So that's a step on three.
02:04We'll take three.
02:05Slowly.
02:05Please, I'm fine.
02:06Why are you walking like you're about to accept a lifetime achievement award?
02:10It's because she tripped while she was sneezing mid-jump shot. She sunk it.
02:14Yeah, you don't have to lie. These people know who I am.
02:16We were mid-sexy role play. He was a lord from the 1600s.
02:19I was a suckling pig and I slipped off the dining room table.
02:23I just tweaked my bag of it. I'm fine.
02:24I'm going to go to the pharmacy and see if they make ice packs for butts.
02:27Don't do that. It's fine. It's fine.
02:28It's my own fault for not doing a few cobra poses before you pop that apple in my mouth.
02:31Call me if you need anything, okay?
02:33Your voicemail's pretty full, so just keep trying.
02:35Yeah, okay. Bye.
02:37Bye.
02:37Bye.
02:38Hey, what's the temp in here? She likes it at 70.
02:39Hey, everyone. I have some sad news.
02:42Carl's going to be on sabbatical because his wife is ill.
02:45Yes! Yes!
02:47Uh, forgive him. I think he's celebrating because this means he'll be interim union rep.
02:50Yeah, a position I should have had this whole time. It was a sham election.
02:53Oh, it's true. I voted for Frank twice.
02:56And, you know, I don't mean to state the obvious, but union rep is way more important than senior officer.
03:01I have wrested control of this precinct from Templeton, the human rug bird.
03:05It's actually my precinct, but...
03:07And you've wrested nothing. This man bows to no one.
03:10Daisy, please. This is the time for us to come together.
03:13What?
03:15What's going on?
03:16Well, Frank, your first job as union rep is to represent Templeton at his disciplinary board review.
03:21Never.
03:21Next order of business, I'm going to need an intern.
03:24Probably best to get someone fresh from the academy so I can mold them in my image.
03:27What? You can get interns? I want an intern, too.
03:29No, nobody gets interns.
03:30And, Templeton, what depravity are you definitely guilty of this time?
03:33Nothing.
03:34And I'm confident my body cam footage will exonerate me.
03:36All right, let me set the scene.
03:38There was a report of a small missing dog.
03:40I saw it on the street.
03:41I pulled over.
03:41It disappeared.
03:42I assumed there was theft, so I followed protocol.
03:45Sir, do you have a dog in your pants?
03:47What?
03:48Your pelvis, sir.
03:49I clearly see activity and I believe it's a Yorkie, so I'm going to ask you to produce it or remove your pants.
03:53Get away from me, you freak.
03:54Wait, no. Come back.
03:55Hey, you can't out.
03:56What are you doing?
03:57Why are you...
03:57Are you...
03:58Okay?
03:58Come out here.
03:59What?
04:00Okay, that's enough.
04:01I don't catch him, so...
04:02My man is a quarter horse.
04:03He's not built for distance.
04:05Level with me.
04:05Is it bad?
04:06Only when viewed to the filter of normal human behavior.
04:09I can't go down for this.
04:10They'll send me to the probation room.
04:11Didn't they shut that place down after the expose?
04:13Sorry, uh, what's the probation room?
04:15Uh, it's where they send suspended city workers.
04:17Think of the coolest place full of the most impressive people and it's the opposite.
04:21You're not allowed to work.
04:23You're not allowed to go home.
04:24You can't go home.
04:25Not till 5 p.m.
04:26Even if I didn't find you reprehensible, which I do, this case is unwinnable.
04:29Then you better win, because right now you're the interim union rep.
04:32I have the votes.
04:33Oh, do you?
04:33Are you forgetting that I brought ten officers when our precincts merged?
04:36We vote as a block, isn't that right, boys?
04:38Mm-hmm.
04:39Fine.
04:40Damn it.
04:41Well, like the Spartans of old, I shall face impossible odds with courage and rock-hard
04:45abs.
04:45But I need all the facts.
04:47And I absolutely need my own intern.
04:49Nope.
04:50An intern is just so not remotely happening.
04:52Um, okay, everyone.
04:53Let's get back to work.
04:54Tread, can I talk to you about kibble inventory?
04:58Yeah, sure.
04:59Yeah.
05:03Okay, wait, wait, wait, wait.
05:04I actually brought you to our spot to ask you something.
05:07I love that we have a secret spot.
05:09It's also really nice in here.
05:10Oh, thank you.
05:11I actually did some sweeping, and then I tidied the shelves, and then I also spread some of
05:14my perfume on the cat food bags.
05:15Yeah.
05:16I was wondering why that seafood bling was getting me jazzed.
05:19Wait, wait, wait.
05:19Okay, no.
05:20I do want to ask you a question.
05:22Okay.
05:22Do you want to go on, like, a real date?
05:26Like, out at a restaurant?
05:27Like, an official date?
05:29Yeah.
05:29Yeah.
05:30But I thought we couldn't, because you might get in trouble.
05:31I think we can pull it off.
05:33I found this restaurant in Tacoma, and do you know what they're famous for?
05:38Being incredibly far from where we live.
05:40Key lime pie.
05:41I love key lime pie.
05:42I know you do.
05:44Oh, that's so sweet.
05:48Oh, wait, that's our two minutes.
05:49Okay, so when we walk out of here, just act natural.
05:52Okay.
05:52Okay.
05:52I got it.
05:57What's with the joker smiles?
06:01Nothing.
06:02We were talking about something that made us smile.
06:05What?
06:07Key lime pie.
06:09Mm-hmm.
06:09Mm-hmm.
06:11I love key lime pie.
06:15Yeah, it was close.
06:17My heart is not.
06:18Storage room?
06:19Yeah, I'll reset my timer.
06:20Okay, yes.
06:20Can you back off?
06:24I can feel your beef stew breath on my cheek.
06:27We need to canvas these four blocks.
06:29Check security cameras.
06:29Talk to witnesses.
06:30Is anyone unfortunate enough to be that close to you?
06:33We have to prove a dog was on the scene.
06:34I know what I saw.
06:36I have 20-10 vision.
06:37Better than birds of prey.
06:38You once told me that Margot Robbie checked you out at Target.
06:42Why are you dangling here?
06:43This is supposed to be a closed meeting with my counsel.
06:45Because my back is pretty sore and the sling helped.
06:47I said you could stay if she took notes.
06:49Can you read back what we have so far?
06:50Yeah.
06:50Frank told me to take notes.
06:52I told him to go to hell.
06:54And that's pretty much where we left off.
06:55Okay, is anyone going to take this seriously?
06:57My career is on the line here.
06:58Will you just relax and let me reluctantly do my job?
07:01For the record, it was Margot.
07:02So I'm buying t-shirts with an older blonde guy.
07:05This shirt was Robert Redford.
07:06That I will write down.
07:07That's great.
07:09After you, my lady.
07:10Thank you very much.
07:13Oh, people here are not as dressed up as...
07:16You're not that overdressed.
07:19No, Daisy.
07:22What do I do?
07:23Trent.
07:24She may have spotted me.
07:26Hey, I have to go in her step.
07:28No, no, no.
07:28Yes, just stay here.
07:29I'm going to make a cry for it.
07:30Okay, I'll just meet you at the car.
07:31Okay, two minutes.
07:32Wait, wait, wait.
07:32My keys.
07:34Daisy.
07:35Yes, hey.
07:37What are you doing here?
07:38Well, all that talk of key lime pie,
07:39I got a craving.
07:40So I Googled best place in the city
07:42and this place popped up.
07:43Yes, so I'm the reason you're here.
07:45Yep.
07:46Love that.
07:46Love that.
07:47Oh, sorry.
07:49Ah, it looks like my date just canceled last minute.
07:52Emergency dental surgery, bottom incisor.
07:55Uh, that sounds really specific and fake.
07:58I think she's blowing you off.
08:00Dang.
08:00Well, I'm going to go process these emotions at home.
08:03I also got stood up.
08:05My son blew me off to go hang out with his friends.
08:07Yeah, that sounds tough.
08:08Hey, let's get into that tomorrow.
08:10I was just sitting here scrolling through pictures of him
08:12when he was little.
08:13Pathetic, right?
08:16No, it's not pathetic.
08:17It's actually really sweet.
08:19Hey, show me that baby.
08:21Yeah?
08:22Yeah.
08:22Okay.
08:23Oh, two slices of key lime pie, please.
08:26Look how adorable he was.
08:29He has a big head, though.
08:30He did a number on me.
08:31Oh, no.
08:40What?
08:40What?
08:41What was in this?
08:45Oh.
08:46Oh.
08:47No, do not pick on your first official date.
08:49Do not do it.
08:51Not that he would notice.
08:54Okay, looks like none of the neighbors have any footage of the dog.
08:56You think they're all in on this?
08:57No.
08:58Maybe.
08:59Probably.
08:59I mean, people tend to hate you.
09:01I'm trying to support you, but this just feels like a community cleanup.
09:03Look, there's no evidence too small.
09:05We are painting a picture.
09:06What's the bell off or broken wind chime going to do to help us?
09:09What's next?
09:09We've talked to everyone.
09:11Not everyone.
09:12Hi.
09:12My name's Frank.
09:13Can I ask you a couple of questions about a missing dog?
09:16Doggy?
09:17Yeah, doggy.
09:18Doggy?
09:18Uh, this is what he looks like.
09:20Have you seen him?
09:21Push, please.
09:22Sure.
09:23You know, anything that you can remember would be very helpful.
09:26Hi, here.
09:27Listen here, Miss Swing Lover.
09:28Okay, okay.
09:29Is she playing with us, Frank?
09:30Turn up the heat.
09:31Turn up the heat.
09:31What are you doing?
09:32Hi.
09:33Can I, uh, help you?
09:35Uh, yes.
09:36Um, I'm Officer Frank Shaw with the Seattle Department of Animal Control, NCIS.
09:40We're going to ask your daughter some questions, and it's not going very well, is it?
09:44Doggy eat dragon.
09:45Doggy eat dragon?
09:46What does that even mean?
09:46She can't even string two coherent thoughts together.
09:48All right, I need you to get off my property.
09:50Okay.
09:50Uh, I'm sorry about him.
09:52If it's any consolation, a jury of his peers is about to toss him in a cage.
09:55Oh, you'd love that, wouldn't you, Frank?
09:56See me cut it off to some probation room, doorless bathroom stalls?
10:00God only knows who I'll be when I get out of that gladiator school.
10:02You know what?
10:03I'm done.
10:05Shocker, you're quitting just like you quit on your marriage.
10:07Never been married.
10:08Yeah, because no one will have you.
10:09Burn, I knew that.
10:10And bye-bye union rep votes.
10:13Frank, open the door, big guy.
10:15Frank, what are you doing?
10:15You can't leave me here.
10:16My picture's all over.
10:17Community websites.
10:18Frank!
10:19Frank!
10:22Come on, Dutch.
10:24Find that fourth gear.
10:32Hi, how's it going?
10:34Hey, uh, Daisy's in the bathroom, but we're almost done here.
10:36Just have to power through the rest of the sangria.
10:39Give me like 10 more minutes.
10:40Great, yeah.
10:40Um, I can be there in 15 minutes.
10:43What?
10:43Aren't you in the parking lot?
10:44Oh, no.
10:45I am at the car wash.
10:48Why?
10:49Well, because, uh, your backseat is an entire ecosystem.
10:52But, yeah, no, I will be there as fast as I can.
10:58I'm away, lady!
10:59Hey!
11:00Emily?
11:01Patel?
11:02Hi.
11:03Hi.
11:03What are you doing here so far from your own house?
11:07Two-dollar Tuesdays.
11:08Cheapest wash in the greater metro area.
11:10Everybody's favorite.
11:11Baby's in the back, and he can only sleep when he's going through the car wash.
11:13Again and again.
11:16Right.
11:17Yeah.
11:18I guess you're probably also wondering what I'm doing here at this car wash, all dressed
11:23up.
11:23Um, so I'll tell you.
11:25And what the thing is, is...
11:26Patel?
11:28Out of the way, lady!
11:29Emily?
11:30Hi.
11:31What are you doing here?
11:34Go, girl.
11:35Go.
11:37Hey.
11:38There you are.
11:39I've been worried sick.
11:41You haven't been answering my calls.
11:42Wait, what?
11:43Why does your office have a sex swing?
11:45Oh, no, it's for dogs.
11:46Not to, like, have sex, but it's good for my back pain.
11:49Oh, man, it's gotten worse, hasn't it?
11:51No, it's good.
11:52I'm working.
11:53I'm doing paperwork and stuff.
11:54You want to leave that till tomorrow?
11:55Let me take you home.
11:56Run your love bath.
11:57Put on one of those reality shows you like, where everyone's rich, but everyone's also
12:01classless.
12:01That's so sweet, but I don't need your help.
12:04I'm good.
12:05The swing is all the support I have for my back needs.
12:07Are you sure?
12:08Yeah.
12:08There's just something about leaving you dangling here that seems very uncool.
12:11Well, how about this?
12:12When I get back on my feet, I'll pull you.
12:16Okay.
12:17Yeah, that sounds good.
12:18Hang in there.
12:19Yeah.
12:19And hang on there.
12:26All right.
12:29Thank you, sir.
12:31You know what?
12:31The person who stood you up tonight doesn't know what they're missing.
12:36You are going to be a great catch when you grow up.
12:38I think I'm like four years younger than you.
12:40Oh, no.
12:41Don't make me do math.
12:41I'm Sangria stupid right now.
12:43Yeah, I had to stop you from tipping $1,200.
12:46Oh, thank you so much for filling in for my kid tonight.
12:49You know, you kind of remind me of him, except you're shorter and whiter.
12:53Oh, you know how people have work husbands?
12:56You're going to be my work son.
12:58I feel like in high school, you would have been a senior when I was a freshman.
13:00Don't talk back to me.
13:02Have a good night.
13:02I'll see you tomorrow, kiddo.
13:03Yes, ma'am.
13:05It's cold out.
13:06Put a coat on.
13:07Hey, Daisy's gone.
13:09Come back so we can start our date.
13:10It's too late now.
13:11I had a run-in with Patel, and now I'm currently babysitting two-sixths of his family, so.
13:18Okay, so what do we do?
13:19Oh, I don't know.
13:20Maybe go back in time and not let Daisy steal our first date.
13:25Are you mad at me?
13:26No.
13:28I mean, a little.
13:29Why?
13:30I was just being nice.
13:31Yeah, yeah, I know.
13:32Maybe you were just being, like, a little too nice.
13:34Okay, well, to be fair, we'd be on the date right now, but you had to go and clean my car.
13:39Okay, it sounds like now you're mad at me.
13:41Don't you think it's a little weird?
13:42I think it's weird to pick me up for a first date in a car that has three half-eaten soft pretzels in the backseat, but.
13:48I get full too fast, and I think it's a little weird that you're always cleaning stuff.
13:52It's, like, a little obsessive.
13:54Obsessive?
13:54Well, I'm so sorry that I wanted tonight to be perfect.
13:58Aya, it's your turn.
14:00Matt, stop, stop.
14:01Okay, I gotta go.
14:02Hey, thanks for a great first date.
14:04What, is that sarcastic?
14:05I can't tell when you're whispering.
14:07I gotta go.
14:07You still have my car.
14:12Oh, you're still in that thing.
14:15Another mystery solved by Detective Frank Shaw.
14:18I've actually been here all night.
14:19Parker wanted to, like, help take me home and stuff, but I don't know, they just felt weird.
14:24Yeah, you're just hanging out.
14:25Oh, that was close to a pun.
14:27Oh, God, what if we're not just hanging out?
14:31I'm sorry, do you need me to continue to fake interest in this?
14:34No, we're good.
14:35We're really good.
14:35How's the investigation going?
14:37I quit.
14:38Should have never helped him at all.
14:39His career's on the line.
14:40He's old, he doesn't have other career options.
14:43He can relate, right?
14:45Even if I wanted to help that boomer, which, as a millennial, doesn't feel right,
14:49the only person that even claimed to have seen the dog was a five-year-old who was rattling
14:53on about dragons.
14:53Ugh, I hate kids.
14:57Doggy, eat dragon.
14:58Wait here.
14:59Oh, yeah, I don't have a choice.
15:00I found a saliva-covered bell on the sidewalk.
15:03I wonder...
15:04It's a match.
15:05Wait, what's happening?
15:06I placed the dog at the scene.
15:07Oh.
15:08Damn it.
15:09Guess I'm back in.
15:11Do you need a ride?
15:11I don't need help.
15:13I'm good.
15:14Stoic, emotionally closed off.
15:15Don't ever change.
15:19We're off.
15:21We're off.
15:21The races.
15:22And there we go.
15:24Victoria, are you okay?
15:25Is that bird seed in your hair?
15:27Um, yeah.
15:28Midnight snack.
15:29Did you sleep here last night?
15:30I couldn't leave.
15:31Papa wanted to take care of me.
15:32It was feeling like an in sickness and in health type situation.
15:35Okay.
15:35I would love some breath.
15:36Let's not use the mop to do that.
15:38Let's just...
15:38I'll get it for you.
15:39Yeah.
15:40You know, I don't think he's trying to act like you're married.
15:44I think he probably just cares about you.
15:45Yeah, well, it's a slippery slope, like my dining room table.
15:49Okay, I know you're in debilitating pain right now, but I'm just going to say it.
15:52You're acting really weird about this.
15:53Oh my God, you're right.
15:55It's okay.
15:55You just freaked out a little and you made it into a bigger deal than it actually is.
15:59I do that all the time.
16:01It is kind of your move, isn't it?
16:02Yeah.
16:04Yeah, it kind of is.
16:07Emily.
16:09Okay.
16:10Is there a bird up there?
16:11There is not.
16:12Not a bird.
16:12All right, let's get started.
16:19Officer Dutch, are you ready to begin?
16:21Actually, no.
16:22My counsel saw fit to abandon me, so I'd like a stay of execution, please.
16:26No need.
16:26If it pleases the court, my name is Frank Shaw, I'm a millennial, and I'm here to represent
16:33Officer Dutch.
16:34This case is based on a set of facts that are indisputable.
16:39Fact number one.
16:40One week ago, Marlena Enriquez reported her pet Yorkie missing on a neighborhood app typically
16:45used to sell deteriorating wicker furniture.
16:47Oh yeah, you can actually get some great deals on there.
16:49Fact number two.
16:50Four days later, Officer Dutch received a call alerting him to a loose Yorkie in the Madison
16:55Valley neighborhood.
16:56Dispatch to truck four.
16:57We have a loose dog in the Madison Valley neighborhood.
16:59On my way, favorite strip club is over there.
17:02Fact number three.
17:03A very reliable eyewitness confirmed.
17:06The dog was seen gnawing on a chew toy of this exact design.
17:11Doggie ate dragon.
17:12Now, while this specific unit was sourced at the precinct, this bell found at the scene
17:18is an exact match down to serial number and pitch.
17:22I know what you're thinking.
17:26What a breakthrough.
17:27Incredible detective work.
17:28Amazing hairline.
17:30But the question remains.
17:32Was Templeton being reasonable in assuming a man could effectively conceal a dog in his
17:38pants?
17:38And to that question, I give you fact number four.
17:42The defense rests.
17:55Have us a moment to confer.
18:01All right.
18:02Templeton Dutch, you are cleared of all wrongdoing.
18:09Deal's a deal, Frank.
18:10I'm going to whip those votes for you.
18:11I'm going to whip them until they're begging for more.
18:13Why is everything always so sexual with you?
18:24Ah, I thought we could use a do-over.
18:27I mean, if you still want to.
18:29Yeah, of course.
18:30Are you kidding?
18:31Really?
18:31Look at this.
18:32And I did zero sweeping or tidying of the shelves.
18:36I'm so sorry.
18:37I'm such a neat freak.
18:38I should have left your car alone.
18:40No, my car was filthy.
18:42And I'm sorry I spent our night with Daisy.
18:44No, you were just being nice.
18:45It was so sweet.
18:46And I totally overreacted.
18:48I don't know.
18:48I wanted it to be special.
18:50Well, we did have our first official fight.
18:52So that's kind of something.
18:54Oh, that's true.
18:55We did.
18:56Maybe the first of many.
18:58I don't know about many.
18:59Yeah, that's a weird thing to say.
19:00Hey, I've been getting your texts on my phone.
19:08Thank you for coming to get me.
19:09Fear warning.
19:10I smell.
19:11You can never smell to me.
19:13Whoa, yeah.
19:14I'm getting a little bit now.
19:15I know that I've been a bit of a weirdo about not letting you help me.
19:18I get it.
19:19We've only been hanging out for a little bit.
19:20I just hate to see you in pain like this.
19:23That's really lovely.
19:25I think I need to go now.
19:27Allow me.
19:28Clear a path, everybody.
19:29I have a strong, independent lady who needs a man to take her home.
19:34Good.
19:35Cool.
19:36You're so slow.
19:37Thank you very much.
19:42Hey.
19:42Oh, it's too much, you guys.
19:44Please.
19:44I don't like to bow.
19:46Okay, I will bow.
19:48Here you go.
19:48It's not for you, buddy.
19:49Hey, it's too late.
19:50Already bowing.
19:54Well, they wanted to get me, and they did.
19:55The commission censured me for pocketing adoption fees, which I didn't do, of course, but it
20:00doesn't matter.
20:01They're sending me to the probation room.
20:03Oh, honey, you've got to stay strong right now.
20:05I'm not built for a hard time, do you?
20:06I know.
20:06And don't even think about touching my desk.
20:08Wouldn't dream of it.
20:09Hello, old friend.
20:22Hey, you got the stain out.
20:23Oh, and by the way, thank you for cooking the adoption books.
20:26Frank, seriously?
20:27I said no interns.
20:29It's cool.
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