- 4 hours ago
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00As Aristotle said, knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.
00:07This is about you, the great Scottish public, getting to know me, who I am, why I am.
00:14And no one better knows the I of who I am than me.
00:19I'm Cameron Mikkelsen.
00:21I was born for greatness, born to serve, born for justice.
00:309.30, we've already got the foreword in the bag.
00:35De Grey Scott, you are a pro, sir.
00:38Well, I hope I'm capturing some of the you in there.
00:42Brother from another mother.
00:44You were always my first choice, Mr Scott.
00:46You bring my sense of command, intelligence, gravitas.
00:50If I had one, I hesitate to use the word note.
00:54One little torch beam to guide you on your way.
00:58Sexier.
01:05Chief, remember, Mr Scott is away at six.
01:08Oh, we'll be done long before then.
01:10And you wrote all this yourself, Chief?
01:12Every word.
01:13That way I can guarantee that it's 100% honest, truthful and accurate.
01:19In your own time, De Grey.
01:21Okay.
01:22My childhood was tough.
01:24Home was a modest, detached Victoria Villa in Castorfin.
01:27As a family of five, we were all forced to share the same aga.
01:31The fires of injustice.
01:33Sorry, sir, but I need a word.
01:35Oh, sorry, De Grey.
01:37Muldoon, we're recording the audio book of my autobiography here.
01:40I know you are, sir, and I'm very much looking forward to reading it.
01:43Or having it read to you by a bona fide A-lister.
01:47Aye, sir, I need to talk to you about the opening of the Safe Drug Consumption Facility.
01:52Do they do deliveries?
01:54Deliveries.
01:56Eh, it's no laughing matter, pal.
01:58Drug taking is against the law.
02:00And the government are as good as saying,
02:02come away in, chop out a few, don't mind us.
02:04Muldoon, I've cleared my diary for this.
02:07Left you in charge and you're down here already.
02:09Sorry, sir, but I just need your advice.
02:11Sorry, De Grey, I've got to step out for a quick strategy powwow with my deputy.
02:17Shall we just crack on with the recording?
02:19I'd rather you didn't, if that's okay with you.
02:22Every word is vitally important to me.
02:25Every colon, semi-colon and umlaut.
02:28Is there an umlaut?
02:29There is actually, page 357.
02:32When I tell Helmut Kohl that his reaction is ubertrieben.
02:36That's over the top, Muldoon.
02:38I'll be quick as I can.
02:43You're doing very well, Mr Scott. Sounds fire.
02:47Thank you, Paul.
02:49Could you do something amazing for me?
02:52It's my sister's hen night and she has a massive stan, like, major.
02:56Is there any way you could pop along to the voodoo lounge and say hi?
03:00I'm on a flight to LA. I don't think the plane will wait for me.
03:04Fine. No stress.
03:06So you could maybe record a video.
03:08Shall we just do the book first?
03:10Oh, well, the Chief did say to wait till he gets back.
03:12We're on the clock, Paul.
03:14Oh, okay. Let's go rogue.
03:18So, this next passage coming up is from when the Chief was a wee boy.
03:25Just imagine the Chief, like, much, much smaller with hair.
03:32I know what a wee boy is, Paul.
03:35Of course.
03:37Yep.
03:38Right.
03:39And...
03:41And...
03:42Action.
03:45So, what's the issue?
03:47I thought the opening of this safe drug facility was months away.
03:50They moved it forward.
03:51You know what junkies are like. Desperate to get tore in.
03:54We need to make a statement outlining the police position ASAP. Get it online and out in the media.
03:59Well, it's a government initiative. We support it.
04:02But we shouldn't. It's a place where wee jakeys can shoot up and we're supposed to turn a blind eye.
04:07It's a facility where people can safely consume drugs in the presence of trained health professionals.
04:13Drug taking is illegal.
04:16Yes, but the SDCF makes it legal.
04:19It's like a... a bar in a Scottish airport at six in the a.m.
04:24Normal rules don't apply.
04:26So you chug down a star of pramen with a Jagerbomb chaser.
04:29Okay, sir. I'll draft up a cautious statement of support as long as we can huckle the...
04:34Yes, yes.
04:35Outside the facility, if you take a drug, you're straight to the jug.
04:39Muldoon. Together, we will win this war on drugs. Or legalize them all. Whatever works.
04:48Look, I've got to get back. The tome waits for no man.
04:52Actually, that's quite good. I'll... I'll try and work that in.
04:58I was just a small boy. My ambition was to be a policeman.
05:03But how could I achieve this impossible dream?
05:06Nervously, I entered my father's study and asked him,
05:09Do you know of any way I could join the police force, Chief Superintendent Mikkelsen?
05:12A little bit of early morning mutiny?
05:15Well, I just thought that we should crack on, Chief.
05:17Well, I'll let it slide. Sounded excellent. No notes.
05:22Now, Dougray, for this next section, we move forward in time to Edinburgh in the 1980s and the Skag epidemic.
05:31You get to embody the true hero of the Trainspotting Era. A fearless young police officer. Myself.
05:38Take it away. Leith, 1985.
05:43I had the miscreant cornered in his bedsit hellhole. The sweat was pishinaf, the dos raj bam.
05:50So sorry I'm late, Chief. Gaelic helpline bot teething troubles.
05:54It's not still auto-correcting to Latvian.
05:56Aper boorach.
05:59Dougray! I heard Lindsay MacLeod, my head of diversity, equity and inclusion, give the manuscript a quick sensitivity read.
06:06We don't want to startle the gen setters.
06:10I've highlighted all the problematic areas in red. So, for example, here maybe we could try and steer clear of the B word.
06:18What? Bam? It's the language of the streets.
06:23We need to be wary of oversensitivity, Lindsay. Carry on, Dougray.
06:28The sweat was pishinaf, the dos raj bam. The nut job might as well have a junkie tattooed on his forehead.
06:35He had a mouth like a donkey's gash.
06:38Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Chief, that's a major red pen.
06:43That's how people spoke back then. It's authentic, raw, gritty.
06:48The G word is one of the most offensive terms.
06:51It is. You'll get cancelled. Your book will get poked.
06:54It'll be in the bin with my bookie-wook and the best of p-ditty.
06:58Don't forget, Michelle Mullen's my fight to the top.
07:01What's the problem?
07:03No problems. As long as we change bam to b-word, raj to r-word, nut job to the n-word.
07:12No, that will complicate things.
07:15So, if we could change nut job to head case and head case to h-word.
07:21We could record two versions.
07:22We could record three versions for super duper safety.
07:25Why don't you just put a warning sticker on the dust jacket?
07:28Contains trigger words.
07:30Ah, like parental guidance recommended kind of thing.
07:35I'd be like iced tea, but without all the cop killing.
07:38Yeah, that could work.
07:40Excellent idea, Dougray.
07:42Paul, order the stickers and have them print up some winner of the Bailey Gifford prize for non-fiction while you're about it.
07:49Thank you. Continue, Dougray. Crack on.
07:52Sorry. Press on.
07:54Leith, 1985.
07:56I had the miscreant cornered in his bedsit hellhole. The sweat was pissing off the dos raj bam.
08:03Oh, sorry. Sorry, Dougray. Two minutes. Got to take this.
08:07You answer to Hollywood. I answer to Hollywood.
08:11Justice Minister. Hello.
08:15Mr. Scott, as a slogan for a hen night sash, which sleighs better? The hen is a ten or the bride's a ride?
08:27Working hard, Chief?
08:28Always, Minister. Fighting crime 24-7.
08:32I heard you were recording your autobiography.
08:34Currently fighting crime through the medium of literature.
08:38Right, down to business. On to this safe drugs consumption facility.
08:42My deputy is drafting our statement even as we speak.
08:46Good. This is important for us. The FM wants our ducks in a row on this one.
08:50Even though some of our ducks are floating downstream, tripping off their beaks. Understood.
08:54When it comes to safe drugs consumption, we need to be playing the right mood to music.
08:58We'll blast. White lines don't do it outside the facility, but inside it's sorted for ease and whiz.
09:05We're dancing to your tune, Minister.
09:07Glad to hear it, Chief. Good luck with the statement and good luck with your book.
09:11Was Dickens lucky? Did he sclaf one in off the post?
09:17But, rest assured, Minister, right now this drug facility statement is my absolute number one top priority.
09:25It was a charity game. I passed to King Kenny and he said, Chief, you could have turned pro.
09:35Yes, I admit, mistakes were made. But they were someone else's mistakes.
09:41I learnt later that I am only one of seven people in the country who are privileged enough to call King Charles the Chuckstar.
09:49Excellent work, Dugret. We're flying.
09:52Now, moving on to one of the most famous cases in my long and distinguished career.
09:56When I single-handedly arrested notorious gang leader and psychobam, Wee Toldo McLeish.
10:04Wasn't that D.I. McPherson?
10:05No. No, why did you say that?
10:07Well, because I played McPherson in a BBC 2 adaptation about that book.
10:11That was a terrible series. Shocking research. Honestly, one call to me and I put them straight.
10:17It was me. I've cornered Wee Toldo in his pilton lair in your own time.
10:24I could hear Toldo's distinctive voice from within.
10:27Oh, no, it's Meek. He's on his own. But Meek doesn't need backup, Ken.
10:31Meek's total barry and a swedge, Ken.
10:33Excuse me, Dugret. Sorry. Wee Toldo had a slightly higher voice than that.
10:38It was a wee bit more, Meek doesn't need backup, Ken. Meek's total barry and a swedge, Ken.
10:43Meek doesn't need backup, Ken. Meek's total barry and a swedge, Ken.
10:46Meek doesn't need backup, Ken. Meek's total barry and a swedge, Ken.
10:49Meek doesn't need backup, Ken. Meek's total barry and a swedge, Ken.
10:52Meek doesn't need backup, Ken. Meek's total barry and a swedge, Ken.
10:55Meek doesn't need backup, Ken. Meek's total barry and a swedge, Ken.
10:58That's the magic right there.
11:00And in this next book, I just wanted to check this is what Wee Toldo actually said.
11:03It's very specific dialogue.
11:05Well, I have a photographic memory.
11:07Total recall.
11:08OK, well, you've got him cornered. He's looking at 10 strikes minimum.
11:10And in the middle of being arrested, he said...
11:12How it's written is exactly what he said.
11:15OK.
11:17As I cuffed him, the dodged rage considered my visage.
11:21I've only seen photos of you before, Meekleson. They're much better looking in the flesh.
11:27Now you're cooking, big boy.
11:29Sorry, Chief. Could I have a word?
11:31Oh, sorry. Two ticks do great.
11:33Keep in there, though. Keep in there, though.
11:35So what's the problem now, Muldoon?
11:38It's a skag shed. The trip tenement, the gear ga.
11:41The Vaumbothi, yes.
11:42I'm finding it difficult to find the tone between supporting it and also pointing out we think it's pish.
11:48OK, Muldoon. I think what this calls for is the old tried-and-tested pro-con thumb slalom.
11:54Thumb slalom, sir?
11:55Willing to support the initiative. Thumb up. Legitimate concerns. Thumb down. Need supporting data. Thumb in the middle.
12:05Don't just come out and say we support the initiative. Contextualise it. Do the fudge.
12:11Fudge.
12:12Fudge, aye, right, sir.
12:14Take my word for it. I've been thumbing for years.
12:18Ah, mad Daisy. Shouldn't it be crazy, Daisy?
12:28Eh, Chief. Just not quite sure how you pronounce this word here. Eh, scud-gay-goey.
12:35I know, that's quite straightforward. It's bam for what school did you go to?
12:40Scoo-gey-goey. Rising at the end.
12:42Scoo-gey-goey.
12:43Scoo-gey-goey.
12:44Scoo-gey-goey.
12:45A little quicker. Scoo-gey-goey.
12:47Scoo-gey-goey.
12:48Scoo-gey-goey.
12:49Scoo-gey-goey.
12:50OK, let's just break it down. Scoo-
12:52Scoo- J-
12:53Go-
12:54Eh.
12:55Put it together. Scoo-gey-goey.
12:56Scoo-gey-goey.
12:57No, Scoo-gey-goey.
12:58That's what I'm saying. I'm saying Scoo-gey-goey.
13:00Listen, I am fluent in bam.
13:02Oh, so am I. We had a bam-alogue coach on Irvin Welsh's crime.
13:05With respect.
13:07We're dealing with real policing here, not some fictional flim-flam.
13:11I learnt it at source. On the mean streets of Pilton.
13:15Not doing a duolingo course in my suite at the Balmoral.
13:19Right. One more time. Scoo-gey-goey.
13:24Scoo-gey-goey.
13:28That's the one.
13:30Quick while we're ahead. The boy's seen better days.
13:36He's a couple of years from Panto, this one.
13:38Eh. I can hear you. Talk back's open.
13:42Sorry. Too great. I mean one of the Mega Pantos. The Hydro.
13:47You wouldn't be kicking about Kerkoddy.
13:49I make no apologies for the way I am. I'm sorry. That's just how it is.
13:57At the charity event, Bob McIntyre admired my drive and remarked,
14:02You could have turned pro, Chief.
14:04This was 1980s policing. Did we sometimes use force? Yes.
14:10Did we sometimes bend the rules? Yes.
14:13But did we get results? Sometimes.
14:16Okay, Dougree, with one eye on the clock here, we need to pick up the pace a little.
14:20But be sure to give this section the sensuality it deserves.
14:25In your own time.
14:28As Barbara looked at me, I knew she had one thing on her mind.
14:32Cop-ulation. And I was a lucky cop.
14:37Dougree, I just wanted to check that you were comfortable with this level of erotica.
14:42I'm trained in sensitive scenarios at the workplace. I'm happy to act as an intimacy coordinator.
14:48He's fine. Dougree got the little fella out in a thousand kisses deep. This is base camp for Dougree.
14:54So you did. Erm...
14:55It's fine. I've got everything I need. I'm happy to push on.
14:58My resistance was futile. I gave myself utterly to Barbara. If my body was Edinburgh Castle, I surrendered it to this one woman invading force.
15:12She mounted my battlements, traversed my turrets, ravished my ramparts, went up my mound, and then she stoked my one o'clock gun.
15:20My cannon was cocked, primed to explode, bursting to boom, detonating hot balls of bliss. Barbara, my femme fatale.
15:30Barbara. Yes? He's here.
15:34It's Barbara.
15:35Why is it Barbara?
15:37Because I sent her the manuscript to make sure she was comfortable with everything.
15:40Well, obviously I was going to... Why did you have to do...
15:43Errr...
15:44Barbara! Hello.
15:47I've just finished reading your manuscript, and I'm really not sure about some of it.
15:52Really? Why?
15:53It's very personal. Intimate. You describe our sex life.
15:58Yeah, but in glowing terms. You come out of it very well. Very professional.
16:02And the physical descriptions? My nipples. Like two ripe and purpled cherries.
16:08Yeah, well, look. Listen to Dougray saying it. Dougray, would you mind?
16:13Her nipples. Like two ripe and purpled cherries.
16:17You happy now?
16:19Well, now that I hear it. Yes, it's fine.
16:22It's just that I was hearing it in your annoying, plummy, pompous voice.
16:26Paso profundo.
16:28Whereas Dougray's melliflu's tones make it sound romantic. Let me speak to him.
16:35Nice to meet you, Dougray.
16:36Oh, so you and Barbara. Well, it's nice finally to put a face to the...
16:40The cherries?
16:42So how are you finding it? Inhabiting the people's chief.
16:46Well, I did play Moses, so...
16:49Yeah, he only had ten commandments, though.
16:51Look, we're running a bit behind schedule here.
16:55And Dougray's got a flight to catch.
16:57To get back to his wife.
17:00Carry on, Dougray. In your time.
17:03Barbara, my femme fatale.
17:05My Glaswegian goddess.
17:07Our passion was such that we didn't even attempt to tidy away the hotel binder of promotional leaflets for various borders attractions that littered the bed.
17:15I well remember, later that evening, peeling a two-for-one voucher for the St Boswell's donkey sanctuary from Barbara's sweat-drenched buttock.
17:23Barbara vocalised her pleasure by joyously uttering...
17:27I'm sorry, Chief. Could you...
17:29Could you get out of my eye line?
17:31Yeah, is it maybe just a little bit too erotic with the principle in view?
17:37Aye. Maybe you can step outside.
17:39Happy to do so.
17:41You wouldn't be the first man to feel diminished in my presence, Dougray.
17:49Barbara vocalised her pleasure by joyously uttering the chorus from Blurr's song, too.
17:55Woo-hoo.
17:56In Barbara, I knew I had found my forever girl. Until we got divorced in 2017.
18:07A very sensitive read, Dougray. Especially the more startling metaphors.
18:12We aim to please.
18:16Before the Chief gets back, could we get that video for my sister just quickly to sex?
18:21Okay, hi. What's her name again?
18:23Daisy.
18:24And... action.
18:27Hi, Daisy. Dougray here. Just wanted to wish you all the best with your old nuptials.
18:32And if it doesn't work out, you know where to find me.
18:35And cut perfect. She is going to love that.
18:38And Mr Scott, a selfie with your director?
18:43Okay, okay. If everybody could just quietly and calmly make their way to the muster station.
18:48Sorry!
18:49Hey, man, apologies. Apologies, my bad. False alarm.
18:52False alarm.
18:54False alarm. My bad. I set it off by accident. I thought it was the soap dispenser. So...
19:01Apologies.
19:03Probably just have to ride it out, you know.
19:05No point recording anything, Will. This racket's...
19:17I think we're good. I think we're good, Dougray. Okay.
19:20Home stretch. Chapter 19. The Tayside Steakout.
19:24Midnight. In Monifeth.
19:25The boy Forsyth turned to me and said...
19:26I couldn't eat another pie if you paid me.
19:27Sorry, Dougray. Stop me there.
19:28The boy's from Dundee. I think it should be pay. I couldn't eat another pay.
19:29It's written pie. It said pay.
19:30I say pie.
19:31We pay you say pay.
19:32Well, you're not pieing me enough to say pay. And the pie of Fizz, you're talking shit.
19:36The boy Forsyth turned to me and said...
19:37I couldn't eat another pie if...
19:38Sorry, sorry, sorry, Dougray. Hold it. Yeah, probably.
19:39Yep, Justice Minister. Sorry, it'll be two minutes.
19:41Don't let him say pie.
19:42Don't let him say pie.
19:43No pieing!
19:49I'm reading it on the website now.
20:04The Scottish Police Force fully supports the Government's safe drug consumption facilities
20:07facilities providing a safe space where people can safely consume drugs in the presence of
20:11trained health professionals. But any burnout junkie fuds and jakeys are reminded that anywhere
20:17else in Scotland is business as usual. And then some. Sir, pass me away. I trust an amendment
20:24will be forthcoming? Yes, apologies, Minister. A little bit of a glitch at our end. Autocorrect's
20:30going a little bit haywire. But we'll sort it out. Don't you worry, Minister. Fuds and
20:35jakeys? Thumb up, thumb down. I'm just thumbing it. Oh, you're thumbing too hard. Pull out, pull back.
20:41More and middle some. Yeah, less. Now sort it.
20:49So just take one photo with a thistle symbolising the Earth's precious resources. Have you ever
20:54heard of a pressure group called the Carbonistas? I do care passionately about the planet. It's
20:59just that all my charity work is done through my early agents. Right, Dougie, we'll pick it up from
21:05you. Oh, um, Dougie, this is my daughter, Ellen. Ellen, a word, please. Why are you here?
21:14Dougie Ray has been in some big budget films with massive carbon footprints. If he came out
21:18as anti-air travel, that would be... What's he going to do? Tweet about it on the
21:22Calmac ferry crossing from our dross on the Sunset Boulevard? Forget Dougie. Target some
21:27proper A-listers. Oh, do you want to show me your BAFTA chief or your Emmy?
21:31Beat Cop of the Year. Ninety-one to ninety-three. National or regional. Midlothian.
21:42Right, I'll see you later. Come on, we've got a lot to do. Do you not want to stay for your
21:46mention? My mention?
21:48Aye, well, when you were a baby, you threw up on the chief's dress uniform, so you had
21:51to go and meet Nelson Mandela in his shirt sleeves. Styled it out. Nelson went shirt, no jacket,
21:56too. It was a minor triumph. It was at the front page of the Sunday Herald.
21:59That's it. That's my mention. One puke.
22:05Mikkelsen Ellen threw up on father's jacket, page 47.
22:09No, no, there's whole sections you haven't seen yet. All about you. In fact, we're about
22:14to record them now. Aren't we, Dougie?
22:16You've got children, right? Aye, three. Twins and the wee fella.
22:23And do you improvise?
22:25Oh, it's with my skill set, if the situation's urgent.
22:28The situation is urgent.
22:31Jesus, Chief. Do you want me to write your book now as well?
22:35I'd be really grateful.
22:36Oh, I can't guarantee a writer's credit, though. Sorry.
22:41And so, the baby that I loved from the moment I set eyes on her grew up to be an inspirational
22:50young woman, a firebrand, a passionate activist who cares about our precious planet.
22:57I could not be prouder of my daughter. I have known many triumphs as a man and as a chief
23:05but the, um, the greatest achievement of my life is simply being a father to Ellen.
23:17I'm gone.
23:19I think that's the chapter I'm most proud of having written.
23:22It's almost like someone else wrote it.
23:24Well, I like to vary styles.
23:26Thanks, Dad.
23:29Thanks, Diggory, for that reading. Beautiful.
23:31And a nice preamble to the Big Mandela meeting and my shirt sleeves triumph.
23:37Right, come on, everyone. Chop, chop.
23:39I kept in touch and every year on his birthday I sent Nelson Mandela a tin of Moffat Toffee.
23:46Okay, that's chapter 22 done. Chapter 23, go.
23:50Oh, that'll be my gear for the hen night. Thank you.
23:52Okay. Diggory, go.
23:54Throughout my life, I have broken breadless royalty and ragamuffins alike.
23:59That's the statement sorted and approved, sir. Two thumbs up for the thumb slalom.
24:03Ah, good to know, but we're up against it here, Muldoon. Honestly, it's turning into Mission Impossible.
24:08That's where I know you from. I thought you were Obi-Wan Kenobi, but that's that other radge.
24:14I pure loved Mission Impossible, by the way.
24:17But can I ask, who was your armourer?
24:19We could see your stance. It should be like so. No?
24:22Thanks for the feedback. I'll be sure to tell Tom.
24:25Tom?
24:25Who's?
24:26Oh, weeboz.
24:28Ah, that's right. Everybody in Hollywood calls them weeboz.
24:30Ah, well, if you'd done your stance right, you might actually shot weeboz at the end of MI2.
24:35Muldoon, thank you very much. But Tempus Fugits, if you could...
24:39The Royal Story. Action.
24:41Murrayfield was rocking.
24:44Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. This royal anecdote could be problematic.
24:48Oh, problematic? How?
24:49We might have to redact her identity. She is a fairly well-known royal.
24:54Um...
24:55Oh, we really need to go. Hi, everybody.
24:59Chief, I'm sorry, Daisy's hender. I need to head off.
25:01Yeah.
25:02Right, Duggery, just, ah, just redact her name.
25:05Okay? Royal Story. Action.
25:08Murrayfield was rocking.
25:10Scotland had secured a glorious victory.
25:12And leading the sing-song high in the stands was Redacted Anne.
25:16Actually, no, hearing it, Duggery, it's not right. Let's go with the Princess Redacted.
25:21No. No, that is it. I am done.
25:24What do you mean done? You're not done.
25:27I have worked with difficult directors. Autocrats, tyrants, dictators.
25:31I've been naked on a muddy swamp at minus two degrees.
25:33I've trained for six months to be a boxer.
25:35Wrestled crocodiles. I've kissed Bobby Carlyle.
25:37I've done my own stunts for 26 hours straight with weeboz screws with nothing.
25:39And nobody has ever given me this level of shit.
25:45Duggery. Duggery.
25:46We've still got 45 minutes left.
25:48Three chapters to go.
25:50We can fit it all in if you speak really fast.
25:52We can slow it down in the edit.
25:53Look.
25:54It's about all the crimes in the future that now will not be committed.
25:56That's my legacy. That's Beaklesonism.
25:57What about this?
25:58I go to the airport, have a nice chilled air and flower press A in the lounge,
26:00then got on my flight to LA.
26:01I'm walking.
26:03You do that and I am straight on the phone to Fergus at the Publishers.
26:07Fergus, my old school friend, Fergus.
26:09Fergus, my best man.
26:10Fergus, the guy that I agreed to do this big favour for.
26:12That Fergus.
26:13What are you talking about?
26:13Do you really think I'd agree to have my name associated with this dog girl?
26:17Are you going through town, Mr. Scott?
26:19Could you drop us at the voodoo ledge?
26:22There's two chances of that, Paul.
26:24None.
26:25And fuck all.
26:27Drive.
26:31Another 500 quid, we could have got Big Jerry Butler.
26:34My friend knows the wee tubby guy on breakfast radio.
26:40I need someone with my sense of intelligence, command, gravitas.
26:50Cometh the hour.
26:53Cometh the meek.
26:54I was born in the Royal Hospital for the Incurably Handsome in 1972.
27:01As I entered the world, every bam in the land felt an involuntary shudder of fear course through their body.
27:09Cometh the meek.
27:10I was born in the Royal Hospital for the Incur Б PRO.
27:13I want to go eat.
27:24I want to gobstides.
27:25I want to gobstides.
27:27Sefps face.
Comments