- 10 hours ago
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00:00We're back as officers are engaged in a slow-speed chase involving a white Bronco.
00:07Keep a safe distance. He kicked two trainers in the head when he escaped.
00:11Well, allegedly kicked.
00:12Frank, you don't think old Jasper did it, do you?
00:14OJ was a rodeo star for years. That's a violent sport. Who knows what he's capable of doing?
00:19There's no excuse for what he did.
00:21But chase continues as the convoy approaches protesters gathered to support old Jasper.
00:26I'm guessing this is like a hot-button topic, but I'm from New Zealand.
00:30Who's OJ?
00:31Are you serious?
00:32I'm not from here.
00:34Wow.
00:34Your country's stupid.
00:36You're a douchebag.
00:37We are entering hour two with no end in sight.
00:41If we hit the county line, this becomes another precinct's glory.
00:44Tread, slide over and take the wheel.
00:45What? Why?
00:46I'm going to roll out of a moving truck to stop that horse.
00:48Why? Why?
00:49Never tell me the odds.
00:51I didn't quite...
00:52Landed on my phone while a combo.
00:57I'm sorry I made us get those breakfast burritos.
01:00That's tough before a run.
01:02Not helpful.
01:03It appears the officer is pursuing OJ on foot.
01:06A gambit both impressive and completely unnecessary.
01:09Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, nice.
01:12Woo!
01:13Hope you have a good lawyer, OJ.
01:15That was awesome.
01:16You don't have to tell me.
01:18I was there.
01:18You don't have to tell me.
01:48So we will no longer be doing Flashback Fridays.
01:53I was, once again, the only one in costume, and it's just...
01:56Yeah, it's not fun anymore.
01:58Um, lastly, as you know, the city has been over budget and has been looking for ways to
02:05save money.
02:06I was hoping that this wouldn't affect us, but the city is shutting down a precinct.
02:11What?
02:12Am I getting fired?
02:13Not us.
02:13Not us.
02:14Not us.
02:14No, no, we're fine.
02:15We're fine.
02:17But we are absorbing ten officers from another precinct.
02:21We don't have enough snacks for that.
02:22I only absorb protein in powdered form.
02:24Who are we getting?
02:25Well, it's a fun bunch.
02:27No, are you kidding me?
02:43It'll stop playing in a second.
02:46I'm in hell.
02:47Guess who your god is now.
02:48Oh, my regality.
02:51T-Bag, I thought you were gonna play me in.
02:53Yeah, I told you.
02:54I don't know how to play When Duff's Cry yet.
02:55My partner, Daisy, everybody.
02:57Yay!
02:58Welcome, Daisy.
02:59Welcome, everyone.
03:00I lived and breathed for the two-three, but I'm keeping an open mind for my new home,
03:04except you, you are dead to me, a ghost.
03:07Nate, what?
03:07You still mad about that emu incident?
03:09You mean when that big bird bit my ham?
03:11Allegedly bit your ham.
03:13Allegedly?
03:14You want me to show you what allegedly looks like?
03:15Hey, let's get the lay of the land.
03:17I veto this merger.
03:19I veto it.
03:20I veto it.
03:21Okay, you're still gonna show me favoritism, though, right?
03:24I need three days out for the Kentucky Derby.
03:26I already bought the hat, so I have to go.
03:27Am I still the only shred?
03:28Are there any new shreds?
03:29I need a raise in half-day Wednesdays.
03:30Okay, hey!
03:31Hey, hey, hey, I will happily answer all questions one-on-one in my office.
03:35Meeting adjourned.
03:37Emily.
03:37I can't start to find I gotta build up to him.
03:39Hey, I want to be constructive about this, but my thoughts keep drifting to arson.
03:44I hate this merger.
03:45Oh, my God.
03:47No!
03:48What?
03:48Did you miss shrimp feast again?
03:49My stupid daughter.
03:50She's smart.
03:52She got into Wellington Prep.
03:53It's the most expensive school in the city.
03:55I'm assuming that your wife's jeans are doing the heavy lifting there.
03:58When we toured the school, there were doctors and lawyers who were worried about paying tuition.
04:02Doctors and lawyers...
04:03So why did you even let her apply?
04:04Well, I didn't think she would get in.
04:06You've met Addie?
04:07You ever talk to her and think, oh, well, you're going places.
04:09Yeah, she sucks.
04:10Yeah, not according to Wellington Prep?
04:12I'm so glad that I don't have to think about kids.
04:15Except, like, tangentially when I'm buying condoms and stuff like that.
04:18Yeah, well, I'm glad things are going well between you and Parker.
04:20So good.
04:21Let me just say, I wish I was sitting on a bag of frozen peas right about now.
04:25I wish you wouldn't say that.
04:26Yeah, I regret saying that to you, actually.
04:28We got all day.
04:30Everyone will get their turn.
04:34Go ahead.
04:34Hey.
04:37Hey.
04:38Hi.
04:39Um, so I know we said we'd take time to think about what happened the other night at the
04:43penguin enclosure, and I've thought about it.
04:46Have you thought about it?
04:47It's kind of all I've been thinking about.
04:49Me too.
04:50Wait, we're talking about the kiss part, right?
04:51Not the, like, adorable penguins part.
04:53Yeah, the, yeah, that way.
04:55Okay.
04:56I was thinking it's something we should do again sometime.
04:59Me too.
05:01Amazing.
05:02Mm-hmm.
05:02But we can't do anything until I talk to my boss.
05:07I mean, I'm your supervisor, you're my subordinate.
05:09Like, this has to be very above board.
05:11Yes, and I can't do anything until I break up with Isabel, and she's out of town right
05:15now, and I, I mean, I can't break up with her over the phone, so.
05:18Oh, really?
05:18Because I was going to talk to my boss today.
05:20I could totally break up with her over the phone.
05:22Are you sure?
05:23Yeah, I think it's actually kinder, in a way.
05:26Oh, yeah, that, that would work.
05:27Yeah, so, uh, you do your thing, and I'll do my thing, and then we'll hopefully...
05:32Maybe.
05:36All right, time's up.
05:37New Officer Carlisle wants to talk about his dental coverage, and between you and me,
05:41hope he has the Cadillac plant, because that man's mouth has a graveyard.
05:44Ooh.
05:45Hey, where have you been?
05:47And why are you so flushed?
05:49Just submerge your day rosacea.
05:50It'll clear up when I learn everybody's name.
05:52You should never learn your enemy's name.
05:53All right, so how are we going to get rid of Templeton, Daisy, Lydia, Terry, Kwame, Steph,
05:58Glenn, Joy, Lee, the other Lee, and what's his face with the ponytail?
06:02Right, convince him the precinct is haunted.
06:04You have old friends.
06:05We could dress them in nightgowns, have them wander around like ghosts.
06:08Matt.
06:08It's ponytail Matt.
06:10Oh, you've got to be kidding me.
06:11I've got to pay for books, too?
06:12That's not covered in the $10 million tuition?
06:15Hey, you've got a picture on the target, okay?
06:17Your financial ruin is secondary.
06:19I'm drowning here.
06:20Frank, I'm already delivering food on weekends just to cover club gymnastics.
06:24Now I'm going to have to widen my delivery window to always.
06:26Nothing is open after 10 anyway, except...
06:28Hey.
06:30Okay.
06:31What the hell do you think you're doing?
06:32Oh, I'm, uh, desk shopping, Frank,
06:34because lead officer gets first pick of the desks.
06:37Lead officer of what?
06:39Being the last guy still quoting Andrew Dice Clay?
06:41Oh!
06:42Oh!
06:43Spot on!
06:44Uh, I'm the senior officer, Frank.
06:46I graduated before you.
06:48Yeah, like nine days.
06:50I had shingles.
06:51Oh, shingles was the reason.
06:52Is that why you didn't pass your physical?
06:55Was it shingles or was it Pringles?
06:58Oh, no, you saw your baby fat and your teen fat and your adult fat.
07:02All right, Grandpa, let's go.
07:04I hooked my ankles around the base of the chair
07:06because I knew baby Frank would do this.
07:09Frank!
07:09Move it, you sir!
07:10Stop shaking Templeton,
07:11and Templeton, stop doing whatever you're doing.
07:14Oh, farting in his chair?
07:15Oh.
07:16Ha-ha!
07:16Yes, that's going to stay in the fabric
07:18because my man can throw some heat.
07:19Oh.
07:21Doug, Emily,
07:22so who's lead officer, me or Templeton?
07:24I mean, it's not really an official title.
07:27The hell it's not.
07:28It's everything.
07:29It's who runs the precinct.
07:30I'm in charge of the precinct.
07:31Okay, yeah, but like, really.
07:32Uh-huh.
07:33This is not over.
07:35You guys have to figure out a way to get along,
07:37and if not for me, then for the animals.
07:39Okay, you've used that a lot.
07:41Because it works.
07:41Now, high five.
07:49I mean, he farted in his hand.
07:51Ha-ha-ha.
07:52Ha-ha-ha.
07:53Hilarious.
07:53Aw.
07:57Templeton thinks he's the lead officer.
07:59That's preposterous.
08:00And that Academy photo was totally AI, right?
08:04Yeah.
08:04Yeah, for sure.
08:06Well, that seemed pretty half-hearted.
08:08You know, Daisy hypes up everything that Templeton says,
08:10so step it up.
08:12Yeah, I'm sorry.
08:12I'm just a little distracted.
08:13I left a message for Isabel
08:15because I'm pulling the trigger today,
08:16so I'm just waiting on the response.
08:18Just give me a compliment.
08:19Just see if you're still in the game.
08:21It could be about my shoulders.
08:22It doesn't have to be.
08:23Yeah, you're, um...
08:25They're usually on the tip of my tongue.
08:28The one day I decided to pay attention to you.
08:30You failed me.
08:31All trucks report of an aggressive bear near Jackson Gulch.
08:34Yep, truck 12 responding.
08:37Be advised the bear is Mama Rose.
08:38She has a huge Internet following.
08:40There may be some media attention on this one.
08:43Truck 4's got it.
08:45Truck 12 clearly responded first.
08:47Dibs.
08:47Dibs, shields, no bags.
08:49Frank, call Infinity.
08:50I'm not doing that.
08:51Infinity!
08:52Damn it!
08:53Hey, guys, remember what I said about working together before?
08:55Yeah.
08:56Mama Rose is the most famous bear in the Cascades.
08:59Can I get an eye from everyone who had a great mom?
09:02That's a code violation.
09:03He only knows I had a bad mom
09:05because of bunk time, trust time at the Academy.
09:07No one cares about your sad origin story.
09:09Well, Shred is a big-time eye.
09:12Because I love my mommy.
09:14No.
09:14I'm senior lead officer.
09:16I got the call.
09:19Frank?
09:21Frank?
09:24My name is Templeton Dutch, and I am drunk!
09:28It's not the 12th dream!
09:30You son of a bitch!
09:33Oh, can you read that?
09:35No.
09:37Parker says, I want you to do that thing with your thumb that makes me sneeze.
09:40I think this might be a your eyes only kind of thing.
09:42Can you send him a picture of my ear hole?
09:44But shoot it really tight so he's not sure what he's looking at.
09:46Ew.
09:47Oh, thank God, he's typing.
09:48Please don't be a photo.
09:49Oh, he says dinner tonight.
09:51That's sweet.
09:52No, dinner must be cold.
09:53Because we do this thing called breakfast,
09:55where he flips me like a pancake,
09:56and then he pours syrup down my head.
09:57Is it possible that maybe he wants something more than a provocative ear hole?
10:00Like, maybe he actually wants to go on a date with you.
10:02Ew.
10:03We're friends with benefits.
10:04Actually, I would say we're just benefits.
10:07We're not really friends.
10:08Oh, wait, wait, wait.
10:08This is it.
10:09Pull over.
10:09Okay.
10:09We're there.
10:13Wait.
10:14If you're going to use me for food deliveries,
10:15at least let me have a fry.
10:17I need five stars.
10:22All right, bear, it's time for your nap.
10:28Hey, do.
10:29Where have you been?
10:31Sorry, I don't typically explain myself to random women in the woods.
10:34We're the Mama Bears.
10:36We're part of Rose's online following.
10:38Why are you just standing there?
10:40Diego's in the mineshaft.
10:41Who's Diego?
10:42Mama Rose's cub?
10:43If you guys wouldn't mind, take your wine caddies,
10:46take a step back, and we can get to work, all right?
10:49Must be the Lord my strength,
10:53which teacheth my hands to war,
10:55my fingers to fight,
10:56my goodness,
10:57my fortress.
11:01T-Bags the lead officer!
11:02He gets the bear!
11:03Back up, Templeton.
11:04We don't want her smelling your flop sweat.
11:06Dang it!
11:06Look who showed up late
11:07because he responsibly obeyed traffic laws.
11:10Y'all missed me shooting the big bear.
11:12Let's roll, Shred.
11:13Wait, what about the cub in the mineshaft?
11:16Cub in the mineshaft?
11:17Dibs!
11:17Infinity!
11:21And that's why I think I can be both
11:23Officer Shred Taylor's supervisor and lover.
11:25No, no, don't say lover.
11:26Don't, um, his special friend.
11:28Hey, boss, just checking in.
11:30You aren't answering any of my texts.
11:31No, I just, I, uh, where,
11:33where's my phone?
11:36It's on the floor.
11:37Are you okay?
11:38You seem distracted.
11:39Um, no, no, I just,
11:40I just have a lot on my plate.
11:42It's all professional stuff,
11:43but it's, it's a lot.
11:45Okay, Channel 4 picked up on Mama Rose's story,
11:48and it's blowing up.
11:49Oh, my God.
11:51So I gotta have your phone on me.
11:52So the bear.
11:53Continuing our live coverage of Mama Rose
11:55and her beautiful baby cub, Diego.
11:58If we're gonna fish the little guy out,
12:00these catch poles need to hold.
12:01Yeah, it'll hold.
12:02I'm a knots guy.
12:02I was in Eagle Scout
12:03before I was dishonorably discharged, so.
12:05Me and T went ice skating one time,
12:06and he laced up my blade so tight,
12:08I couldn't get him off.
12:09I went to bed wearing ice skates that night.
12:14Oh, well,
12:16Frank took his cousin to prom.
12:20His hot cousin.
12:22Seriously?
12:22I did like a hundred push-ups
12:24in front of you yesterday.
12:25I'm sorry.
12:26I have to take this.
12:26It's Isabel.
12:27You know, I'd ask you to hang yourself,
12:35but I know your knots don't hold.
12:36My knot would've held
12:37if you hadn't twisted it
12:38when you picked it up.
12:38You have to twist it
12:39so you can scoop.
12:40You have to be able to scoop.
12:41No, you know, dumbass.
12:42You just pick it up.
12:43How the hell are you gonna pick up a bear
12:44without scooping it?
12:45Guess who just had a pretty awkward,
12:47profanity-laden,
12:48but ultimately successful conversation
12:50with his now ex-girlfriend.
12:51Was Isabel really upset?
12:53Well, she said she was gonna clone my visa
12:55and buy a Sprinter van,
12:56but I think she's just processing.
12:58Mm-hmm.
12:58Did you talk to your boss yet?
13:00I'm trying,
13:00but I can't get a hold of him.
13:01I've left, like,
13:02ten messages with his assistant.
13:04Trent, wake Mama Rose
13:05and point her toward Templeton.
13:07Wait, wait, was that Frank?
13:09What's happening?
13:10It's just bear stuff.
13:11We could probably use some backup, actually.
13:13Yeah, aren't Victoria and Patel there?
13:15Imogen Poots, I forgot to call them.
13:17Um, don't let Frank murder Templeton.
13:19Okay, goodbye, and I can't...
13:21This is the motherlone, Victoria.
13:2422 pizzas, four dozen wings.
13:26Well on my way to covering that first tuition payment.
13:28You better hope that Emily doesn't find out about this.
13:30No, please.
13:30She's in the weeds with this merger.
13:32You might even be able to get up early for your big date.
13:34We don't date.
13:35That's gross.
13:36We just have sex in abandoned malls.
13:39Track eight, please respond.
13:41Guys, this bear situation is about to go
13:43from local human interest to national crisis,
13:45and Frank and Templeton are just on TV
13:47having a pee-pee contest.
13:48This is my calling, Frank.
13:49Why am I waving to the camera?
13:51We can be there in, uh, 75 to 90 minutes.
13:54Oh, okay, that's so fun.
13:55Or you could be there in 10 minutes,
13:57because I can see your location.
13:58On our way.
13:59Yep.
14:00The trap boys won't like this.
14:02Bro, trap cray-cray, be there soon.
14:04No cap.
14:05Send.
14:05I don't know who I am anymore.
14:10Ugh, media wants me to do an interview.
14:12Time to put on the cape and play superhero.
14:15Ah, pump the brakes, cupcake.
14:17Lead officer handles public relations.
14:20Makeover montage me.
14:21Honey, we're gonna run into palate issues
14:23if you dip into my bag.
14:24Come on.
14:26Pick that up.
14:27And that is how you trick a vain jackass like Templeton.
14:30Grab my harness, the one that makes my butt look good.
14:33Hey, so no matter what happens today,
14:34we're trying to keep shooting.
14:34I heard you're looking for a soundbite.
14:37Ask away, nothing is off limits.
14:39Except no, no mom, no mom questions.
14:45We didn't ask for a soundbite.
14:47Oh, my God.
14:49The guy with the killer butt is going in the mine.
14:52Deceiving a senior officer is a fireable offense, Shaw.
14:55I can't hear you over my thrilling heroic.
14:58Onlookers are growing concerned by the amount of time
15:06the bear cub has been stuck in the shaft.
15:08Oh, hey, kiddo.
15:19Adorable.
15:20Hard to believe in about eight months you'll be big enough to kill us all.
15:23Don't drop him, Frank.
15:26First of all, I'm fine.
15:27And I got the bear.
15:29You lose.
15:30Oh, I should have gone down because he's struggling.
15:34Are those my pizzas?
15:36You know, I forget.
15:37I tend to get fuzzy spells ever since the emu incident.
15:40You're messing with my star rating.
15:41Woman, the pledges are going to crucify me.
15:43All right, kiddo.
15:44Let's get you back to your incredibly terrifying mother.
15:46Tread, hoist me up with the cutest thing you've ever seen.
16:02Mama bear is waking up, Frank.
16:03Hand me the cup.
16:04Come on.
16:05Oh, and let you win?
16:06In front of Tracy Palladino and the nation?
16:08Forever changing the power dynamic of the precinct?
16:10I'd rather die and I'll bring this bear with me.
16:13Watch your words, partner.
16:14Tracy's got a boom mic.
16:15Hey, guys, so these very unhinged women are half a glass of Chardonnay
16:18from diving hit first into the mine shaft themselves.
16:20We've got to go.
16:21Tread, give me a bottle of whiskey and a hack
16:23so I'm going to cut my foot off.
16:31Come on.
16:33It's been over 20 minutes since we last heard Diego's cries for help
16:38and wait, something's happening?
16:40Officer Templeton-Dudge, you holding that bear aloft
16:53is an image forever burned in our memory.
16:56It's actually senior lead officer.
16:58Um, just a day's work, right?
17:00Got to thank my team.
17:01I'd like to give a shout-out to a particular one cadet.
17:04Frank, never miss a meal.
17:05Shaw, there he is.
17:06Son of a bitch, my dad watches Palladino.
17:11Everybody watches Palladino.
17:13Templeton, you've unlocked a new level of hatred I didn't know existed.
17:17Oh, there's a lot more where that came from, Mr. Pringles.
17:21Frank, thank you for putting your feelings about Templeton aside for the day.
17:25I didn't.
17:25Still, you worked well together.
17:26We didn't.
17:27Well, regardless, I'm feeling optimistic.
17:29You shouldn't.
17:30Okay.
17:30It's happening.
17:33What?
17:35I'm swimming with my boss right now.
17:38Okay.
17:39What?
17:40This school offers language courses I've never even heard of.
17:43Tagalog.
17:43Isn't that a cookie?
17:44This is why I don't want kids.
17:46Well, you're gonna have them.
17:47And a husband, and a life full of regrets, and missed fun.
17:51In fact, I think it should start right now.
17:54Hi, Parker.
17:54No.
17:55Your honor sounds great.
17:56See you tonight.
17:56No cap.
17:57You can't take stuff like that on a co-worker's phone.
18:00Get him, Victoria.
18:01Perverse.
18:01Oh, come on.
18:02You really like the guy.
18:03I'm doing you a favor.
18:04Oh, my God.
18:05Oh, my God.
18:06He had it.
18:06He had it.
18:07I hate you.
18:08Parker loves you.
18:09Mm-hmm.
18:09And you're probably gonna love Parker.
18:11This is the beginning of the end.
18:14Welcome to hell, sister.
18:15Yep.
18:18Hi, Thomas.
18:20Emily, let's just jump right in.
18:21With the merger, there are a lot of eyes on you.
18:25That's why I'm gonna need your laser phone.
18:27Focus on this.
18:28Mm-hmm.
18:28I'm very much hoping that I chose the right person for the job.
18:32Oh, you definitely did.
18:34I mean, leadership is so important to me, sir.
18:37There are a lot of people who wanted your title, especially Officer Dutch.
18:45Templeton?
18:45He expressed a myriad of antiquated claims, too young, too rattle-brained, too female.
18:53But I have complete faith in your professionalism.
18:57So, what is it you wanted to discuss with me today?
19:01Hey, how'd it go?
19:10He said no?
19:14Not exactly.
19:15I didn't ask.
19:18Oh.
19:18Um, why not?
19:20I'm really sorry.
19:23I'm just under a lot of scrutiny right now, and I feel like I was dropping the ball a lot today because I was distracted.
19:29Yeah, okay.
19:31So, I thought maybe that we could just put things on hold for a couple months, just until I get the merger figured out.
19:38Oh.
19:39Um, yeah.
19:41Yeah.
19:41It's the last thing I want to do.
19:45I just, I don't really know what else to do.
19:47Yeah, I don't really know what else to do either, so.
19:51I feel like I'm ruining everything right now.
19:53Oh.
19:54No, you're not ruining stuff.
19:55It's, it's cool.
19:57We've waited this long.
19:58Yeah, it's like two months, so it's not a big deal.
20:00Well, um, I am really sorry.
20:03Yeah, me too.
20:06I guess I'll see you at work tomorrow.
20:08Okay.
20:09Okay, yeah.
20:10I'll see you tomorrow.
20:11See you.
20:11I'll see you tomorrow.
20:41Sorry.
20:42All right.
20:43Fine.
20:44Frank, you lost the battle, but you're gonna win the war.
20:46Patel.
20:50Sorry, partner.
20:52No.
20:52Now I have to sit across from Dumpleton.
20:55Guess I'll sit at the wobbly desk by the bathroom.
20:58I have to sit down the stretcher.
20:58I'll sit around here.
21:02Who's supposed to do?
21:02I have to sit down.
21:04I can sit down here.
21:04Hold on.
21:05Okay.
21:05Give me your arm, too.
21:06Ha, ha, ha, ha.
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