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00:01Thanks to a string of missed shots in the field, and because shame builds character, maggot,
00:08I shall now retrain you in the art of the net gun.
00:12Meet your target.
00:15This is safe, right?
00:16We'll know soon.
00:17Officers, take aim.
00:19Release the target!
00:22It's not your friend.
00:23It's a ta that's being chased by a timber wolf.
00:25Fire!
00:27Did you have your eyes open for that shot?
00:29Fail!
00:33I can't do it.
00:35I can't shoot my boy.
00:36Your boy just killed a mother of three.
00:38Fail!
00:38Oh.
00:39Wait for it.
00:41Okay.
00:42You jammed my gun?
00:44Always check your cartridge.
00:45Fail!
00:46You have brought shame to the name of Colin Brown.
00:49Come on, guys.
00:51Inventor of the net gun.
00:56Fix the cartridge.
00:58Sir.
00:59Lunch, anybody?
01:00You can go for some time.
01:01All these nets have me craving seafood.
01:03Your training worked.
01:04Hit you on the first shot.
01:06Wait, are you guys going to Thai or seafood?
01:08Seafood.
01:09They said they...
01:09Shut up, maggot!
01:11Sorry.
01:12Sir, you want me to help you up?
01:13Yeah, can you help me?
01:14Okay, next up, we have a personal announcement from Daisy.
01:17Oh, yes.
01:18Do not use the quilted toilet paper.
01:20I bring that from home.
01:21It is not my fault that Seattle can only afford one plot.
01:25Daisy, yeah, duly noted.
01:26Oh, are we starting on time?
01:28Yeah, just like we do every morning.
01:30Wait, so this?
01:30This is the morning meeting?
01:31Man, having a job is crazy.
01:33Parker, did you use our gym to do some squatting?
01:35We hear you're good at that.
01:36Nah, big cat.
01:37Today was chest and arms.
01:38See, with Parker, your sarcasm doesn't break through.
01:40It's like somebody throwing darts to the tank.
01:43Ting, ting, ting, ting.
01:44Did you guys choreograph an anti-sarcasm dance?
01:46Parker, you're really fine, but you are distracting,
01:48and my boss has the floor right now, so...
01:51Understood.
01:51My apologies.
01:52I got to get out of here anyways.
01:53Bye.
01:54Oh, it tastes salty.
01:55It's like kissing a potato chip.
01:57Oh!
01:58Yuck.
01:59And next up, as a thank you to Frank for returning their horse last month,
02:03Rotten Rancho sent him this gift certificate for a free couple's sunset horse ride.
02:08Romantic and free?
02:09That's my kind of date, big cat.
02:11Oh, I'm shutting that nickname down.
02:12Are you sure?
02:12Because it's good.
02:14Oh, if it's available, I call it.
02:15I'm big cat now.
02:16Frank, if I may, when was the last time that you went on an actual date?
02:19It's hard to keep track of those things.
02:21Yeah, it's three months by my count.
02:23You said you were taking time to work on yourself.
02:25That long of a dry spell, I'll bet he's working on himself.
02:27Hey-oh!
02:28Hey-oh!
02:30So, this gift certificate expires at the end of the month,
02:32which is that, uh, that's today.
02:35Cool idea.
02:36Give it to me and I'll take Parker.
02:37Doesn't he get enough free stuff?
02:39He walked out of here in my gym shorts.
02:40It's tonight.
02:41That's a tight timetable, even for me, for you, impossible.
02:44There's just no way.
02:45Insulting challenge accepted.
02:47Well, you know what?
02:48Fine.
02:48Find a Philly by Five with a free rider's mind.
02:50Shake on it.
02:52Shake my...
02:53Oh.
02:54Dry spell's making a lot of sense.
02:56Hey, community outreach officer.
02:58First official event tonight.
03:00Very exciting.
03:00I figure why do a neutering event when you can do a neutering experience, right?
03:05Dr. Green does the surgery.
03:06I pour the wine.
03:08That's why I called it the Sip and Snip.
03:12Love that.
03:13Yeah, it's very ambitious.
03:15DJ's ready.
03:15Food trucks are ready.
03:16Food trucks.
03:17So, so multiple.
03:19Mm.
03:19Maybe I should just stay tonight and help out.
03:22Aren't you the one who gave an entire PowerPoint presentation about how you were going to delegate more after the
03:26merger?
03:26That was a PowerPoint and this is real life.
03:29Okay, so in that case, maybe I'll just send you a text update every 20 minutes.
03:32The way I make Nanny do on sleepovers.
03:33That would be great, would you?
03:35You were joking.
03:36As was I.
03:37I trust you, obviously.
03:41Hey.
03:42Thanks for volunteering to help out at the Sip and Snip tonight.
03:45Yeah, totally.
03:46But you know what would be even better?
03:48I'm not spying on Patel for you.
03:49You have to.
03:50This whole thing is shaping up to be a real poop show.
03:52No, no way.
03:53Patel's in double thumbs up mode.
03:54He's got this.
03:55Look at him.
03:57See?
03:57It's not a big deal.
03:58Just turn on your body camera, let it roll, and then I'll watch the live feed from another room.
04:03Okay, look.
04:04I don't usually bring up the HR stuff with our relationship, but right now you're wading into a very gray
04:09area.
04:09Okay.
04:11You know, it's kind of hot when you set boundaries.
04:13Really?
04:14Say it again.
04:17Very gray area.
04:19Okay, okay.
04:21No, I'm sure they would delay the Sunset Ride for you, Heather.
04:24Well, anywho, what time do you get off work?
04:269.30?
04:27That's ridiculous.
04:28Let me talk to your boss.
04:29Hello?
04:30Hello?
04:31Let's look at the bright side.
04:32At least that lady remembered you.
04:33The first woman remembered me.
04:34She's just going to remember from what?
04:36You're like a batter in a slump, brother.
04:37You know, you're in your head.
04:38You're overthinking it.
04:39Yeah, well, that's what regular thinking looks like to an underthinker.
04:42Now, there he is.
04:43See?
04:43The sarcastic guy doesn't care what anybody thinks.
04:46That's the guy who's going to get a date.
04:47I'm not taking you on the horse ride.
04:49The more you push me away, the more it makes me want to come and get you.
04:56Daisy.
04:58Hey.
04:58Can you get me another box of wine, please?
05:00Daisy.
05:01Oh.
05:02Hey.
05:02You have something more important than Barbra Streisand's life story.
05:05Do you know she used a water bottle as a doll?
05:07Okay, I'm sorry.
05:08I thought you were here to help.
05:10Oh, no.
05:10I'm here to butter up Emily so I can ask for more vacation days for my cruise.
05:14Uh, listen, big cat.
05:15Hey, either you help me or I tell Emily.
05:18That was a good use of the nickname, but bad use of the ultimatum.
05:22I just have to tell Emily that you can't handle this.
05:26Oh, well.
05:27Well, you boxed me in.
05:28Yes.
05:28Can you just make sure people feel about the signing sheet?
05:30Hell no.
05:31Actually, yes, because there might be some single hotties in here, and you already know
05:35they're thoughtful about birth control.
05:37Yeah, whatever.
05:39Okay.
05:40Dr. Green!
05:41You ready to slice them and dice them, bro?
05:42Ready?
05:43I already started.
05:43And get this, one of those dogs had a tumor in his testicles.
05:46Nice.
05:47You're saving lives, bro.
05:48Hey, can you put that in an email with my parents?
05:50Oh.
05:52Put that in an email for real, please.
05:53I'm being serious.
05:54Yeah.
05:54Hey, what the heck is this?
05:56We've talked about this.
05:58Have you noticed?
05:59Boss?
06:01Hi.
06:01Hey.
06:02I was checking my makeup in the good light.
06:07Okay, fine.
06:08I was spying on the sip and snip.
06:10I have a problem.
06:11Okay, that's it.
06:12You're coming with me to Tai Chi class.
06:13It'll get your mind off of things.
06:14Tai Chi?
06:15Okay.
06:16Yeah.
06:16No, it's probably for the best.
06:17I think the guys in the motor pool thought I was going to jump.
06:20Okay.
06:20Come on.
06:24I know the CDC says we're not supposed to snuggle these girls, but boy, is it tempting.
06:29Sorry about him.
06:30He got dropped on his head by me later today.
06:33I needed a laugh.
06:34Jokes are free.
06:35Rest comes out of your taxes.
06:36Oh, so technically you're my plate.
06:39I have 4.2 million bosses as of the latest census.
06:42I'm a very busy man.
06:43Well, thanks for making the time for little old me.
06:47Absolutely.
06:51What's wrong with your face?
06:52I'm probably just having a reaction to that sparkling repartee.
06:55I'm not going to ask out a woman.
06:56We just helped out on a call.
06:58It's inappropriate.
06:59I don't think there's anything wrong with dating people you meet through work.
07:01I mean, everybody's so concerned about power dynamics and making people uncomfortable.
07:06You know what makes me uncomfortable?
07:07Policing the heart, brother.
07:09I'll ask her out because the clock is ticking and I refuse to debase myself by asking the ranch
07:13for an extension.
07:16Approach is good.
07:18I just hope he doesn't want it too bad.
07:21Oh, and she's laughing.
07:23Oh, and he's walking back.
07:24He didn't overstay his welcome.
07:26Yes.
07:27Not going to break stride because it wouldn't look cool going straight to the truck, but
07:30I need you to get her number.
07:31I forgot to ask.
07:34He's back.
07:37So the doctor's name is Dr. Tarantino.
07:41Yeah.
07:42We have a situation.
07:44So remember that stray French bulldog we picked up yesterday?
07:47We just neutered it.
07:48Boom.
07:48Added to my total.
07:49Turns out it's not a stray.
07:50It's a prize-winning breeder dog and its owner just showed up.
07:55Oh, God.
07:55Okay.
07:56I just Googled it.
07:57French bulldog breeders get $8,000 a puppy.
08:00There's four to five dogs per litter.
08:01That's like...
08:02Okay, baby, just drain it.
08:04Just know it's a lot of money.
08:05You really screwed us on this one, Patel.
08:06You were in charge of the check-ins, right?
08:07No, but you were in charge of the check-ins, right?
08:09Hey, hey, hey, stop.
08:11The bigger thing is that Emily's going to lose her mind when she hears about this.
08:14No one's going to hear about this unless someone knocks on us.
08:16You can knock on us, buddy.
08:18Don't threaten my boy.
08:19But no one can hear about this, sweetie, okay?
08:21Again, just given our slight age difference, it feels odd when you mother me.
08:24Listen, we need an idea.
08:25Yes.
08:25What if we say that the vet found a suspicious growth had to operate to save the dog's life?
08:30I kind of like this idea.
08:31What?
08:31Guys, faking dog tumors?
08:33That's what we're on right now?
08:34That's what we're on.
08:35I know, I know.
08:35He's right.
08:36We can't do that without Dr. Gray's help.
08:39Coming up on 5 p.m.
08:41You strike out?
08:44Does that answer your question?
08:46My date is running a little bit late.
08:48In fact, I'm going to send her another pen.
08:50Oh, my God, Frank, there's so many texts.
08:52You got stood up, partner.
08:54No, no.
08:55She's a farmer.
08:56There's no service out there.
08:59Yep, it's over.
09:00Man, this place has it all.
09:01Gym, shower, wine bar.
09:03I might never leave.
09:04I have a fun idea for us.
09:06I love fun and your ideas.
09:07Sunset horseback ride at Rutten Ranch tonight.
09:11Yeah.
09:11Why are you making those noises?
09:13Yeah, it's not like she asked you to get a job.
09:14I just don't vibe with the idea of riding animals.
09:17It doesn't seem cool.
09:18What about the three animals in that meatball?
09:20Come on.
09:20I used to ride all the time back home.
09:21Those horses never complained.
09:23Oh, I just can't.
09:24You know, but I don't want you to miss out, so I want you to take Frank.
09:26He's already got the cool boots and everything.
09:27I mean, the gift factor would just go to waste, so...
09:30Which technically means I just scored a date, so I win.
09:34And by the way, I will be quoting the movie Tombstone throughout the ride.
09:37I don't know what that is.
09:38Parker, you like Tombstone?
09:39Love pizza.
09:43Emily, this is my instructor, Seafood Gary.
09:46Oh, it sounded like you said Seafood Gary, but that can't be right.
09:50Is that right?
09:50Seafood is like a title, like teacher.
09:54Welcome to our class.
09:55Thanks.
09:56Bettany's here every week right there in the front row.
09:58Took me a while to get up there.
09:59I started in the back.
10:00Then Diane got carpal tunnel, and I saw my opening.
10:06Oh, um...
10:07Oh, um, boss, there's no phones in class.
10:10It's a pretty strict policy.
10:11Oh, totally not.
10:12Yeah, that makes sense.
10:13Um, maybe we should have Seafood Gary hold your phone until class is over.
10:18Oh.
10:19I'd be happy to.
10:20Sure.
10:21And your Apple Watch.
10:24Okay.
10:25And your tablet.
10:26Oh, wow.
10:27Both of them.
10:28Just take a hold back.
10:30Oh, my gosh.
10:31I haven't seen that much denim since we trapped that possum at the Yellowstone viewing party.
10:35Wait, they're coming over.
10:36They're coming over.
10:37Howdy, partners.
10:38Hi.
10:38Howdy.
10:39Wow, you guys are adorable.
10:40You're twins.
10:41Oh, we're married.
10:42Hmm, didn't say no to being twins.
10:43I'm Paul.
10:44This is Sapphire.
10:45Stop it.
10:46I'm Paul.
10:46And I'm Sapphire.
10:48Oh, you're kidding.
10:49We're kidding.
10:50That was, that was not true.
10:51I've got to keep an eye on you two.
10:53I know.
10:54Paul, get a photo of me fake drinking out of the water trough.
10:57Absolutely.
10:57That's Paul.
10:58Woo.
10:58Oh, my God.
10:59It's so fun.
11:01Wow.
11:02Paul and Sapphire definitely met at a strip club, huh?
11:04Maybe.
11:05The Pulse of Terror is staged, Nick.
11:06Rise, breathe in.
11:09Sink, breathe out.
11:11Rise, breathe in.
11:14Sink, breathe out.
11:17Rise, breathe in.
11:19Sink, breathe out.
11:21Rise, breathe in.
11:24Bettany?
11:25Hey, it's me.
11:26I'm on Bettany's phone.
11:27How's it going at the sip and snip?
11:29Sink, breathe out.
11:30Uh, fine.
11:33Wait, you paused.
11:34Why did you pause?
11:35Sink, breathe out.
11:35Aren't you serious?
11:36I'm sorry, I had to check in.
11:37It's been like an hour.
11:38It's been nowhere near an hour.
11:39Bettany, we're holding the moon, not our phones.
11:42Oh, I'm sorry.
11:43It's just that we were...
11:43Maybe it would be best if both of you excused yourselves.
11:48Diane, why don't you come back to the front row?
11:52Enjoy your time in the sun, Diane.
11:54It never lasts.
11:55Sink, I'm so sorry.
11:59Dr. Green, my guy.
12:02Listen, you remember that dog with the suspicious growth?
12:05Yeah, that was gnarly.
12:07Yeah, super gnarly.
12:08Listen, I got this dog owner been hassling me.
12:10You wouldn't mind saying it's that dog that had the growth.
12:13You want me to lie?
12:14Big time.
12:16Well, I'd be risking my license, so no.
12:21Bro, uh, okay.
12:23I guess the dogs aren't the only ones around here without balls.
12:27Big cat, tread, let's bounce.
12:30No balls.
12:31Sorry.
12:33So do all Americans grow up wanting to be cowboys, or is that just a stereotype?
12:37I had old west bedsheets, cowboys fighting other characters.
12:42Do all New Zealanders grow up wanting to be Americans?
12:44Until they meet people like Paul and Sapphire.
12:46What do you think they're doing right now?
12:48Probably finding out how much denim to chase if you get it wet.
12:51This is so fun.
12:53Pa couldn't even dunk some people with me.
12:55Sometimes I worry that he's too pure for my black heart.
12:58Well, opposites attract, except in nature and most healthy relationships.
13:02Oh, shut up.
13:04This is so pretty.
13:06Come on.
13:11Must feel good to be up past you big time.
13:14Yeah, it is.
13:26Can we talk yet?
13:27Or are you still afraid you'll say something you regret?
13:30I'm okay.
13:33I am so sorry that I got you moved out of the front row.
13:36I know today was kind of a disaster.
13:38I just, I need to figure out this delegating thing.
13:40You're going bald, boss.
13:42I know.
13:42I did start plucking again.
13:44Is it bad?
13:44It's not awesome.
13:46Since this merger, you've been burning it at both ends.
13:49You can't keep up.
13:50And if that means you got to delegate some things, put Patel in charge of an event, so be it.
13:54But you got to let it go.
13:56Totally.
13:57Yeah.
13:58I have no idea how to do that.
14:01Sifu Gary says it all starts with the breath.
14:05Breathe in.
14:08Breathe out.
14:13Everything's okay.
14:15Patel's got this.
14:17Ms. Damsworth, thank you for your patience.
14:19I'm so sorry we had to neuter your dog.
14:21I still don't understand.
14:22For any and all questions, I'm going to have to direct you to our resident veterinarian, Dr. um...
14:27B-Cat.
14:27Dr. B-Cat.
14:28Best in the business.
14:30So, during a routine examination, we unfortunately found that your dog's dangulous testiculus was, in layman's terms, totally jacked up.
14:38Dangulous testiculus?
14:40Mm-hmm.
14:40I don't know what the hell's going on here, but I'm calling my lawyer.
14:43Uh, Officer Taylor recently passed the bar.
14:45He's our in-house counsel.
14:47Uh, yes.
14:49But right now, I'm mostly focused on maritime law.
14:52Meri...
14:52What?
14:53That's not my dog.
14:55Huh?
14:55This is Precinct 12, right?
14:57No, this is 22.
14:59Okay.
15:00I'm in the wrong place.
15:02Oh, thank God.
15:03I mean, as a doctor, you would hate to do a neuter wrong.
15:05That would suck.
15:07Wow!
15:07I'm going to leave, but I know you're all lying.
15:09It's really messed up.
15:10Oh, yeah.
15:11We know.
15:12We are not good people.
15:13Oh, thank you.
15:14Wow.
15:14I was just trying to help my friends.
15:15How about that?
15:17This cat's got nine lives, baby.
15:19You're good.
15:20Let's spin it!
15:23Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
15:27So what now?
15:29It gets darker, and then stars come out.
15:32Have you never seen a sunset before?
15:36You know, this is, uh...
15:38What?
15:40Strangely, this is really...
15:42Victoria!
15:44Victoria!
15:44Hey, B!
15:45Is that Parker?
15:46Hey, B!
15:46It's me!
15:48Victoria!
15:49Hey, baby!
15:50Are you being chased by coyotes?
15:52What is happening?
15:52I ran here.
15:53I couldn't let the sun go down on my shameful behavior.
15:56We met you while you were living in our friend's attic, so you've got to be more specific.
15:58Valid.
16:00Okay, I lied earlier.
16:01The real of it is, is that I'm actually really scared of horses.
16:05You should have told me that, even though it's really childish and embarrassing.
16:09Even sitting this close to this huge beast is terrifying, mostly because of the teeth.
16:13But if my girl wants to go on a ride, then I want to do that with her.
16:17Stop.
16:20Take my horse.
16:22Are you sure?
16:24Yeah, ranch house is close, and you guys have almost 20 seconds of sunset left.
16:28Come on.
16:30Thanks.
16:32Okay.
16:33Just a second.
16:34I would have gotten here sooner, but I ran into this couple that was just talking my ear off.
16:38Paul and Sapphire.
16:40It was like running into the human form of a sneeze that hasn't come.
16:44Baby.
16:45What?
16:45That was kind of snarky.
16:49Let's go.
16:50Babe, what else do you hate about me?
16:51I don't want to judge, but it's sort of heavy.
16:55Yeah, they were awful.
16:56Awful people.
17:01Ladies!
17:03Welcome!
17:04That party's winding down, but it was a thorough success.
17:07Wow, yeah.
17:08And there were no incidents?
17:10No, it ran a little low on crudite, so that was dicey.
17:13So I'm just wondering, then, what this text message means.
17:16Maybe you can help me.
17:17Sure.
17:17Uh, I'm doing what I can to stop it, but Patel is committing medical fraud.
17:21Frowny face.
17:25You narc on me, bro!
17:26I didn't narc on you, bro!
17:28It was me.
17:30Big head.
17:30What?
17:31But it was your idea to be the fake vet!
17:33That is disappointing.
17:34You are diabolical!
17:36This is about the emu, isn't it?
17:38No!
17:38This is about me taking this job seriously.
17:41My biggest flaw is that I work too hard, and some might say that I need a vacation, but
17:46that's not what tonight is about.
17:47Tonight is about these dogs and their nuts.
17:50Thank you, Daisy.
17:51You have done such good work.
17:53You can go.
17:54It's always about the emu, you son of a bitch.
17:57You heard that, right?
17:58We all heard that?
18:00She's obviously lying, but I think it is important to reward narcing and punish those who don't,
18:04which is why the two of you will spend all next week scraping the floors of the rabbit
18:07pens.
18:08Wait, wait, no, sorry.
18:08Time out.
18:09It just really doesn't seem fair, because I hope...
18:11I'll be all.
18:12Bro.
18:16Just breathe, boss.
18:17Just breathe.
18:18Yeah, we're not doing that anymore.
18:21Oh.
18:24Hey.
18:25Hey.
18:25Looks like we all had a rough night, huh?
18:27Turns out you should break in a pair of boots before walking across three miles of Sprut Rush.
18:31You blew off the ride with Bonnie?
18:33I did.
18:34Broke her heart before she broke mine.
18:36I'm a complicated man.
18:37Don't get too close to me.
18:40Well, here's to getting back on the horse.
18:42Metaphorically and literally.
18:43Oh, and, uh, burn these.
18:46It's too late in the game for an extra hobby.
18:48Okay.
18:48They don't have to do it now.
18:50You want to have a drink?
18:52Make it quick.
18:54Okay.
19:01Right.
19:02Okay.
19:05What the hell?
19:07Occupied.
19:08Parker, what are you doing?
19:09Only thing this place was missing was a sauna.
19:11Not anymore.
19:12No.
19:12The only thing this place was missing is a lock you can't pick.
19:14You need to shut this down.
19:17Actually.
19:18What?
19:20She's got bacterial dermatitis, so steam's really good for her skin.
19:23Steam's good for our skin.
19:25Us and them, you and me, we're not so different.
19:27How are we, Liz?
19:32You're a real weirdo, huh?
19:33You're a real weirdo, huh?
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