- 2 days ago
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Short filmTranscript
00:00what what what what are you doing here what time is it it's 3 42 in the morning you want to have
00:11sex I turned 30 in two minutes oh you want me to get you pregnant no no no I'm freaking out
00:24I'm about to turn 30 and my life is just one huge disappointment when I was 12 I made this
00:29list of everything I wanted to do by 30 and I haven't done one of them not a single one okay
00:33okay okay okay okay calm down um all right I got it uh we'll do one of these things on your list
00:40then you can cross it off before you turn 30 okay we have two minutes don't worry we can do this
00:44all right um let's see have four kids no um be happily married oof no you remember eric yeah okay
00:56uh oh how about this one call Nick Sullivan and tell him that he hurt me maybe I could do that
01:02Nick Sullivan was my junior high boyfriend who dumped me for that slut Shea Hamilton right
01:07before homecoming I think he still lives in Pasadena Shea Hamilton she sounds blonde no
01:12who next just give me the phone uh yeah Pasadena do you have a number for Nick Sullivan please
01:23connect me okay 15 seconds we're gonna make it hello is Nick there oh your daddy's asleep I don't
01:28know what I should do 10 seconds I'd like you to give him a message please tell him that Alex
01:32Garrett thinks he's a chump because he hurt me and that I hope he got herpes from Shea Hamilton
01:3610 that's right I hope he got herpes from mommy hey you made it okay you can cross that one off
01:44your list oh my god Alex you just turned 30 happy birthday thank you see this is why I came to you
01:54all right hey we should celebrate you know it's really nice birthday waffles you want to make me
01:59something that sounds really great but um I should get back Dean's asleep so oh right yeah Dean yeah
02:08gotta get back to Dean thank you yeah okay hey uh happy birthday
02:13lose 60 pounds maybe we give Nick Sullivan a break
02:36come on
02:43come on
02:45come on
02:46Everything's gonna be alright.
02:48Alright, you wanna be alright, you gotta watch it.
02:53Everything's gonna be alright now.
02:56Everything's gonna be alright, you gotta watch it.
02:59Alright, you wanna be alright, you gotta watch it.
03:03Alright, you wanna be alright, you gotta watch it.
03:08wow man's really doing his job on the vinyl over there
03:16DJing you know I'm thinking about getting into spinning wax
03:20you know doing my thing on the ones and twos
03:23why don't we know another third guy
03:26I'm gonna grab some more drinks
03:29a guy's night out is just what I need
03:34this Alex thing has me all screwed up
03:36I just keep waiting for things to fall apart with Dean
03:39it's just not happening
03:40all right just what I need
03:43I hope they don't see this
03:44hey Alex, Dean, Joey's here
03:48hey hey hey
03:50hey happy birthday
03:53oh thank you
03:54what are you gonna do for the big day
03:55oh Dean's gotta go out of town so we're just picking up takeout
03:57and I'm driving him to the airport
03:59what that doesn't sound like much of a birthday
04:01I still wish I could be here but I got this business thing I can't get out of
04:04it's terrible timing
04:05on the bright side he's letting me drive his Porsche while he's gone
04:08I've never driven a sports car like that before
04:10hey don't worry honey we'll just replace the clutch when I get back
04:12replace the what?
04:14oh god
04:15see you guys later
04:17bye
04:17take care
04:18I hate seeing them together
04:21he's obviously into her right
04:23but then she comes over to my house last night at three in the morning
04:26yeah but Joey
04:26she came to you
04:28that's what we DJs call
04:30sniznificent
04:31no we don't
04:33no Michael
04:35her coming to me was a bad thing
04:37okay
04:38when a girl comes to your house
04:39in the middle of the night to talk
04:40that means she sees you as a buddy
04:42and you don't want that
04:44you gotta remind her when she saw you as more than just a friend
04:47how am I gonna do that?
04:49Dean's going out of town
04:50why don't you do something special for her birthday?
04:52that's a great idea
04:53alright
04:55gentlemen I have a night to plan
04:56you make it happen buddy
04:58what?
05:04what's going on?
05:04I was just out shopping for my night with Alex
05:06and I ran into Marcy
05:07that crazy girl you made me go on a double date with
05:10she's like totally obsessed with me
05:11well here she comes
05:12I cannot deal with this
05:14she's so annoying
05:15knocking knocking
05:17looking for you
05:20seeing you
05:22hey Marcy
05:27what's up
05:27standing here
05:29with you
05:31feeling my heart beating
05:34buh-bum
05:35buh-bum
05:36oh
05:37kidding
05:39kidding
05:41okay
05:42bye-bye
05:42closing the door
05:43genuinely afraid
05:45it's okay
05:47a little freaked out by your power
05:49alright
05:54I got some wine
05:55some flowers
05:56I'm gonna call Alex
05:57and have her come over in a little while
05:58hey so I'm gonna need you to clear out pretty soon
06:00really?
06:01you want the place to yourself
06:02you should probably tell mom and Jimmy
06:03they've been out on the patio all day
06:04trying to figure out which plants they can smoke
06:06hey well you know what
06:10if they find that little one in the back
06:13maybe that'd be a good time to tell him he's your dad
06:14alright I'm gonna go tell him to get out of here
06:18oh
06:18uh hey guys listen
06:21uh I'm gonna need the apartment to myself tonight
06:22okay
06:23oh yeah no problem
06:24oh hey Jojo
06:25we uh
06:26we uh
06:26kinda got a little announcement to make
06:28things between me and Jimmy have been good
06:30and there comes a time in every relationship
06:32when you're ready to take it to the next level
06:34oh my god are you guys
06:37that's right Jojo
06:37we're getting matching tattoos
06:39I'm gonna get mine right where you belong
06:43between my heart and my boob
06:45no
06:46I wish I could get one on my eyes
06:48so it hurts extra bad
06:50I want you so much
06:53don't kiss me you winked up bitch
06:54oh my god
06:58they can't keep the hands off each other
07:00they're gonna make another one of you
07:02and I'm gonna have to live with it
07:09uh could we do this later
07:24I'll be around
07:26okay
07:26hey Alex it's Joey
07:33hi
07:35uh listen
07:36can you come over here for a second
07:37no I'm not gonna tell you
07:39it's a surprise
07:40just get over here
07:41okay bye
07:42hey gorgeous
07:52that was quick
07:53were you expecting someone else
07:55or is this gonna be like the night
07:56I learned I had to get a new college roommate
07:58hey Dean
08:01uh what are you doing here
08:02I thought you went out of town
08:03see I did
08:04but
08:04I got to the airport
08:06and I thought
08:06what am I doing
08:07here's this great girl
08:09that I'm crazy about
08:10and she's turning 30 tonight
08:11I should be there for her
08:13good for you
08:14listen
08:14now's not really a good time
08:16so
08:16hey hey what's going on
08:17you got a girl coming over
08:18uh no
08:19it's no one really
08:20just me
08:20hanging out
08:21you know
08:21uh treating myself right
08:23fine
08:24keep it to yourself
08:25I'll just ask Alex
08:26who you invited
08:26no no no
08:27I'll tell you who it is
08:28okay
08:28it's this girl
08:29uh Marcy
08:31did I hear my name
08:32thanks again Miracle Ear
08:34oh my gosh
08:38is this for a
08:40ba-doop ba-doop
08:41surprise
08:44oh this is so beautiful
08:46I knew you weren't just avoiding me
08:48I'm allergic to lilacs
08:50but a little
08:51and I'll be a
08:52a
08:53wow she seems like fun
08:57I bet she's crazy in the bedroom
08:59she's crazy in every room
09:00Dean
09:01well I'll get out of your way
09:04but uh listen
09:05I'm gonna throw a little party
09:07tomorrow night for Alex
09:08you two should come
09:09well we were planning on going to my parents
09:11but okay
09:12hey Joe
09:15oh my god
09:16Dean
09:17happy birthday baby
09:18oh my god
09:19what a great surprise
09:21oh I thought those people
09:26would never leave
09:27you know what
09:28I'll follow them
09:30make sure they stay guard
09:31Joey
09:31forget about them
09:32what do you say
09:34you take me upstairs
09:35and get me out of this back brace
09:37so Dean just showed up
09:45out of nowhere
09:45yeah
09:46totally ruined my plan
09:47with Alex
09:48now he's throwing
09:49to this big party
09:50tough to compete with that
09:52yeah
09:52but hey
09:53I did set up this really cool gift
09:54on Alex's list of things to do
09:56before she turned 30
09:57she had singing with the pips
09:58so I hired this cool cover band
10:00so she wants to be like Gladys Knight
10:01that's cool
10:02it's one of my dreams too
10:03seriously Joe
10:06how would you feel about a Russian third
10:07cause I know a dude
10:08um speaking of music
10:11at Alex's party
10:12let me ask you a question Joe
10:14how do you feel about uh
10:16sexy beats
10:17you are not DJing the party
10:19well I know I'm not
10:21but DJ Tribby Izzy is
10:23alright Zach
10:26call the Russian
10:27set up a meeting
10:27such an idiot
10:30it's true with you
10:32Joey your sister's unreasonable
10:34we decided to get tattoos together
10:35she decided I had to get her name
10:37I was gonna get your name too
10:38he didn't even have to use English letters
10:39I told him he could use Chinese letters
10:41I told you no more Chinese letters
10:42I'm starting to look like a take out menu
10:44I just thought it'd be a nice gesture to bond us
10:48hey nobody tells me how to ink myself
10:49okay
10:50besides what if we're not together anymore
10:51oh so now we're gonna break up
10:53well not necessarily
10:54you could die
10:55don't try to sugarcoat it
10:59this has nothing to do with a tattoo
11:02you just don't want to commit to me
11:04you're like a freaking child
11:05oh yeah has a child ever done you like that
11:07in the back of his Camaro
11:08yes
11:08yeah what's his name
11:09hey Joey so my DJ equipment's all set up
11:21can you just plug me in
11:22yeah no problem buddy
11:24wait you told him he could DJ
11:26yeah don't worry okay
11:27his turntables are in there
11:29the speakers are in there
11:30and for the sound to come out
11:31I just gotta plug this in over there
11:33is it on now
11:37yeah yeah sounds good
11:40is that too much bass
11:41no more more
11:43if you say so
11:45alright everybody
11:48welcome to Alex's 30th
11:50let me hear you scream
11:52hey there's the birthday girl
11:59how you doing
11:59I'm okay
12:00I'm still a little freaked out
12:02about turning 30
12:03especially when I get stuck
12:04talking to Sherry from my office
12:06who keeps shoving it in my face
12:07that she's pregnant
12:08with her third child
12:09I hope this one's a girl
12:10so we can find out
12:11if being a bitch is hereditary
12:12hey hey
12:15forget about her okay
12:17if anything
12:17she should be jealous of you
12:18the way you look tonight
12:19oh Joey
12:21that's so sweet
12:22you are the best
12:24I'm so glad
12:25I have a buddy like you
12:26buddy
12:27yeah that's what I was going for
12:29buddy
12:30hey buddy
12:32buddy
12:32hey I'm your buddy too
12:34Alex is something
12:35isn't she
12:35yeah
12:36she's special
12:37you know
12:39when she dropped me
12:40at the airport
12:40she wasn't gone
12:42two minutes
12:42before I missed her
12:43I mean I really missed her
12:45that doesn't happen to me
12:46wow
12:47you really like her
12:48huh
12:48I'm in love with Joey
12:50I can't believe
12:51how hard it's hit me
12:52and I decided today
12:53I'm going to do something
12:54about it
12:55come here
12:55I want to show you something
12:56oh my god
13:04I'm going to propose tonight
13:05all the deans
13:10and the joists
13:10say hey
13:11guys you should start
13:16dancing
13:17I mean do you realize
13:17how lame you look right now
13:19hey I'm really feeling a groove man
13:28is the party rocking in there
13:29yeah
13:29it's not plugged in
13:30no one can hear ya
13:31okay great
13:32hey
13:37what's the matter with you
13:39oh nothing
13:40Jimmy I'm fine
13:41what I'm not good enough
13:41to talk to you
13:42alright
13:42it's uh
13:45it's about Dean
13:46who
13:47my friend
13:48my neighbor
13:49oh I hate that guy
13:50I want to smack him
13:51anyway
13:53he's going to propose
13:54to Alex
13:54who
13:55my neighbor
13:56oh the blonde girl
13:57I got no opinion about her
13:58then what y'all
13:59sorry
14:01so this Alex girl
14:03you like her
14:03yeah
14:04I do
14:04a lot
14:05but
14:05she's with Dean
14:07and now he's going to propose to her
14:09there's
14:09it's just not right for me
14:11to do anything
14:11okay
14:12let me tell you a little story
14:14about going after a girl
14:15when it's not right to
14:16okay
14:16a little weird
14:19a little bit
14:19alright
14:20in high school
14:22right
14:22I went after your sister
14:23now I knew it would hurt you
14:24but that didn't stop me
14:25I had to do it
14:26because she was so special
14:27now I did that to you
14:28and you're the greatest guy ever
14:29oh
14:31I wish every guy
14:33who did my sister
14:33was so nice about it
14:35my point is
14:37you're worried about
14:38this Dean guy
14:38and you just met
14:39with his fake tan
14:40his tasseled shoes
14:41the guy's a monster
14:42he's everything that's wrong
14:43with this world
14:44jeez
14:46I really hate Dean
14:47ah he seems okay
14:48alright
14:48the point is
14:50go for Alex man
14:51the rest is gonna
14:52work itself out
14:53look at me and Gina
14:54alright
14:54when you first found out
14:55you were very upset
14:56but what bad came out
14:57of the two of us
14:57being together
14:57break it down
14:59sexy party people
15:00look
15:04if you want this girl
15:06you do what you gotta do
15:07you know what
15:09you're right
15:09ah
15:10yeah okay
15:11I am not gonna let
15:12Dean propose to her
15:13until she knows
15:14how I feel
15:14that's it
15:15that's the spirit
15:15alright thanks
15:16I'm gonna go find out
15:17way to step up
15:17hey you know what
15:18you inspire me
15:19alright
15:19Gina's upset about
15:20this whole tattoo thing
15:21I'm gonna step up too
15:22I gotta go
15:22whoa whoa
15:23you leaving the party
15:23what are you kidding me
15:24this is the worst party ever
15:25another five minutes
15:26I'm gonna kill myself
15:26really
15:27I met some nice people
15:28Joey
15:33hey Zach
15:34listen
15:34have you seen Alex
15:35no
15:35but the fake pimps are here
15:37look
15:37I'm sorry
15:38can you take care of this
15:39I need to find Alex
15:40but I gotta say
15:41those suits are awesome
15:42Dean what are you doing
15:48it's a surprise
15:49first you gotta close
15:49your eyes
15:50okay
15:50Alex
15:53can I borrow her
15:54for a second
15:55keep your eyes closed
15:57okay
15:57ow
15:58sorry
15:59sorry
16:01that was Dean's fault
16:02feel the base
16:06hey
16:06hey
16:06hey
16:06get out
16:07it's sexy
16:08get out
16:10ow
16:11come on
16:12ow
16:12what the
16:14hi
16:16okay look
16:18this may not be the best time
16:19to do this
16:20but there's a lot of stuff
16:21going on
16:21and I need to tell you
16:22something right now
16:22okay
16:23Joey you can tell me anything
16:24that's what's so great
16:25about us being friends
16:26no
16:26that's not
16:27that's not what
16:28okay but I'm
16:30what
16:30what was that
16:36I'm sorry
16:36that didn't come out right
16:37what I meant was
16:38what am I doing
16:44what
16:44what are you doing
16:46your friend
16:48my boyfriend
16:49is throwing me a party
16:50right there
16:51and now you're kissing me
16:52yes I am
16:53okay because I need you
16:54to know that
16:54Joey
16:54I don't know
16:56where this is coming from
16:57but
16:57not now
16:58no Alex wait
16:59no I gotta get out of here
17:01Alex
17:01great
17:04okay
17:04Alex
17:05I want you to marry me
17:07what
17:07Alex
17:08this isn't even
17:10plugged in anything
17:11so plug it in your ass
17:16Dean
17:19I'm sorry
17:20this is just
17:21too much
17:22I
17:23I can't deal with this
17:24right now
17:25Alex
17:28Alex
17:29oh lord
17:33who are you
17:34somebody said
17:36you want to
17:37sing with the pips
17:38Alex
17:39Alex
17:39Alex
17:40wait no stop
17:43no I don't
17:44want to sing
17:45with the pips
17:46I don't want to
17:47deal with anybody
17:48right now
17:49look everybody out
17:50party over
17:51this party is over
17:53it's time to
17:56party
17:57hey
18:06I've been looking
18:08everywhere for you
18:10are you okay
18:10so uh
18:14Dean took off
18:15I had to call him
18:16a taxi
18:17the clutch in his
18:18Porsche was pretty
18:19wasted
18:19you kissed me
18:22I did
18:24do that
18:25yeah
18:25why
18:27I don't know
18:30Joey
18:31fine
18:34I did it
18:37because Dean
18:38said he was
18:38going to propose
18:39to you okay
18:39and I didn't
18:40want that to
18:40happen without
18:41without what
18:44without you
18:47knowing that I
18:48wanted to kiss
18:50you
18:51okay
18:53do you want
18:55to kiss me
18:56all the time
18:56or just when
18:57you find out
18:57I'm being
18:58proposed to
18:59a little
19:01of both
19:02since when
19:04since
19:07I don't know
19:08since a while
19:09ago
19:09wow
19:12so this whole
19:15time that I've
19:15been with Dean
19:16you've been next
19:17door like
19:18pining for me
19:19yeah
19:21it sucks
19:22I don't know
19:23how you did it
19:24for so long
19:24I ate a lot
19:26of ice cream
19:27me too
19:28so what are we
19:31supposed to do
19:32now
19:32so that's up
19:35to you
19:35what do you
19:36want
19:36honestly I
19:38don't know
19:39I mean I
19:40I really like
19:42Dean
19:42you
19:43I wanted
19:45this for so
19:46long
19:47but it was
19:48really hard
19:49for me
19:50it was hard
19:51wanting you
19:51it was hard
19:52getting over you
19:53and I finally
19:54accepted the fact
19:55that it wasn't
19:55going to happen
19:56and now I
19:57just I don't
19:58know what to
19:59do
19:59okay okay
20:00so don't
20:02do anything
20:02maybe what
20:05you need
20:05right now
20:05is a buddy
20:06okay
20:12thank you
20:14hey come on
20:20it's cold
20:20let's get you
20:21downstairs
20:21okay
20:22I could really
20:23go for a piece
20:24of cake
20:24no I can't
20:25it's all gone
20:25your friends
20:26went to town
20:27on especially
20:27that pregnant
20:28lady she was
20:28like an animal
20:29actually I got
20:31to it earlier
20:32I hid half of
20:33it under my
20:33bed
20:33see that is
20:36why I'm
20:36always be
20:37your friend
20:37hey Gina
20:48hey Gina
20:48I want to talk
20:49to you
20:49no no I got
20:50nothing to say
20:50to some creep
20:51who won't
20:51commit to me
20:52I'll hold you
20:53shut up a second
20:53I got something
20:54I want to show
20:54you alright
20:55I think you're
20:55going to be
20:56very happy
20:56about it
20:58scar sucks
21:01wrong arm
21:02I love
21:07Gina
21:07I got it
21:09a couple
21:09hours ago
21:10you're happy
21:12now
21:12what's the matter
21:14nothing
21:15you got one
21:16too
21:17I hate
21:19Jimmy
21:20so you hate
21:23me huh
21:23I love that
21:27I did not
21:30see that
21:31coming
21:31close down
21:34it's over there
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