- 3 months ago
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:01Joey, get out here.
00:03Beautiful women have been coming out of that apartment for like an hour.
00:06An hour? Well, why didn't you get me?
00:08I was stuck in the hot tub. I didn't want them to see my legs.
00:20Well, hello there, gorgeous.
00:22I don't have chicken legs.
00:30Michael, this is like a dream. Pitch me.
00:36On the arm. Who goes for the ass?
00:39I gotta see what's going on in there.
00:51Hi there. Hi. Can I help you?
00:53Yeah, I live across the way and I would like to join whatever club is meeting here.
01:00There's no club. Those are my clients. I'm a photographer.
01:03Wow. I love erotic photography.
01:07I didn't say erotic.
01:09Definitely heard someone say it.
01:11Uh, I'm Joey.
01:12I'm Sarah.
01:13I'm Michael.
01:14Leave.
01:17It's amazing to me that you're a photographer.
01:19I mean, you are so beautiful. You should be in front of the camera.
01:23Wow. You really came out swinging.
01:25Okay, okay. Let me try a different approach.
01:28Uh, I saw a flower this morning and I thought it was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen until I gazed upon you.
01:35Mmm.
01:38Right.
01:39Yeah.
01:40Listen, I really appreciate the effort, but you don't have to work so hard.
01:43If you want to ask me out, just ask me out.
01:46What?
01:48Just ask you?
01:49Yeah.
01:50Watch this.
01:51Do you want to go out Saturday?
01:52Yeah.
01:53Great. We have a date.
01:54Wait, wait, wait.
01:56I didn't even compliment your eyes.
01:57I know. My father must have been a thief because he stole two stars from the sky and put them in my eyes.
02:03I did not know that one. That's good.
02:07Pick me up at eight.
02:11Huh.
02:15Hey there.
02:17You know, I saw a flower this morning and I thought it was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen until I gazed upon you.
02:24Really... thank you.
02:26OK, so I'm not crazy.
02:33Come on.
02:35Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:37Everything's gonna be alright.
02:39All right, cha.
02:40All right, cha.
02:41You wanna be alright, ya gotta watch all.
02:44Vamos!
02:45Everything's gonna be alright, man.
02:47Everything's gonna be alright, man.
02:49I'm all right, cha.
02:50All right, cha.
02:51You wanna be alright, ya gotta watch all.
02:52all right you gotta watch on hey guys whoa sexy new underwear there huh you can tell when i was a
03:10kid i wish for a superpower that's what i got so what's the special occasion well my husband's
03:16gonna be home tomorrow so gina took me to get some sexy undergarments and it's a good thing i did
03:22because she was wearing cotton granny pants well it's gonna be really great to see him he's been
03:28gone for like two months that's a long time to be away from your man you guys ever try phone sex
03:34yeah i'm not very good at that i tend to laugh too much and over describe the room
03:41hey you rented the apartment to that new girl nice job thanks for giving me a hot one
03:46thought you two might have sparks i miss melrose place well i got a date with her saturday night
03:52she lives right across the courtyard what if it doesn't work out that could be so awkward
03:56please there is no awkward situation i can't smooth over or run from
04:02okay but i gotta say this girl's a tough one none of my normal lines work on her i'm gonna have to
04:06bring my a game and uh what is your a game uh well i take her to this restaurant where the maitre d knows
04:14my name and makes a big fuss over me then he seats us at a table where she can't miss my headshot
04:19hanging on the wall oh how embarrassing right then at some point during the evening i have one of my
04:26famous friends send over a bottle of wine maybe bobby duval so or celine dion oh yeah i could see that
04:31working excited about your date tonight oh yeah i called the restaurant and set everything up oh who are
04:42they gonna say sent the wine well i went with alan thick and lou diamond phillips yeah i like the idea
04:48that they're friends hey joey how you doing hey eric welcome back thanks thanks hey honey hey
04:57oh so when was the big reunion that was it he just got home
05:03really after two months what are you doing out here talking to me get in there make up for lost time
05:07joey joey it's the middle of the day we couldn't do that could we i guess we could
05:14i think i'm going to that girl don't let that new thong go to waste amazing through corduroy
05:29you are gonna love this place the food is great the only problem is they tend to make a
05:34fuss when actors come in oh i'm not a big fan of actors you don't like actors no they're so
05:41self-absorbed and need so much attention but they're america's royalty mr triviani welcome
05:50that was a very good show last night yes tony i also enjoy the apprentice
05:55right this way please i've saved a very special table for you thank you
06:05thanks
06:11so do you uh like sports or what what is that is that you is that your headshot no that's
06:19not what this wall means i ate the 96 ounce steak
06:26as did bernadette peters
06:31joey what's going on here
06:34okay i wanted to impress you all right so i brought out my a game you know all my best moves my
06:40my best lines you don't need to do that with me okay maybe we should just order
06:46you know i'd order the pizza but i haven't had a decent one since i moved here from the east coast
06:55me neither everybody recommended this place called mario's i went there it was awful right
07:01oh so bad i had to go someplace else and eat a whole other pizza just to get the taste out of my mouth
07:09i'm lucky my mom sends me pizza from home wait where are you from philadelphia
07:12i love your sandwiches mr triviani compliments of alan thick and lou diamond phillips
07:24interesting pairing thank you
07:26so can i get you some wine compliments of vanilla ice and tom scarrett nice sure
07:45wow these are great did you did you take all these yeah that one i took in burma
07:53that little girl was selling gum on the street her eyes were so melancholy yet so full of hope
08:04couldn't get her to smile huh
08:08yeah what are you gonna do
08:11you have a very interesting face i can see why you became an actor
08:14thank you mind if i photograph it okay have a seat
08:32joey don't pose gotcha
08:34i'm not getting a sense of who you really are well but what if this really is who i am
08:46listen you know what let's just take a break we'll have some wine and i can do this later sounds good
08:50hey hey i wasn't ready no this is great but i'm not doing anything just relax be yourself
09:04like if i was with any other girl running my a game i would lean in and kiss you right now but i'm not
09:24sure what to do here
09:25well this camera thing is my a game so why don't i make this easier for you
09:41i may borrow heavily from this in the future
09:44good morning everyone so i take your date with sarah went well last night it was really nice yeah
10:01she's not like other women i've dated i mean we didn't have sex but i still feel like a connection
10:08was made is that shallow hey hey hey hey how was it having eric back oh it's great it's good it's
10:17a challenge it's hard really what's wrong i guess i've forgotten what it's like to live with somebody
10:24uh it's a compromise yeah it's taken me and michael months to get everything just the way i like it
10:31yeah it's different with eric here like i was doing a crossword this morning and the clue was
10:36tv lawyer ali blank and he said mcbeal i mean i'm a lawyer and i'm spunky i think i know who ali
10:42mcbeal is okay i'm sure being back must be an adjustment for him too oh yeah especially since
10:49now he suffers from this horrible affliction called jet lag you may not have heard of it because
10:54apparently my husband is the first person ever to have it um i've had jet lag it can be pretty bad he
11:02was in cleveland okay so he's bugging you have you tried to talk to him about it yet uh no the way i
11:12was raised we didn't talk about our problems when my mom was upset with my dad she'd just go to the
11:17tennis pro and work on her game truce came back so happy it must have been diego's relaxed island attitude
11:24yeah that's probably it but but still you know maybe maybe you and eric should talk
11:32yeah you're probably right okay i'll try trust me it'll help i mean when i first moved in i had a big
11:38problem with michael's snoring but then we talked about it and it got better talked about it you put
11:46cotton balls in my nose and duct taped my mouth shut and we worked it out
11:59hey i just want to stop by and thank you for all the philly cheesesteaks you sent over
12:04i think 30 sandwiches are gonna last me a while i know it sounds like a lot but the cheesesteak is a
12:09very versatile snack lunch on the go cheesesteak tired after racquetball cheesesteak can't find a
12:16baby gift cheesesteak well i really appreciate it hey your neighbor across the way does something
12:22nice for you you want to say thank you cheesesteak yeah you know joey i gotta tell you you're not
12:28exactly who i thought you'd be do you want to go out again tomorrow night you're just asking me i mean
12:35i want to but i i think i'd like you to work a little harder okay if i could rearrange the alphabet
12:44i would put you and i together you get this stuff see you tomorrow night okay well look at that i just
12:56got asked out on a date i really like her i do in fact i like her so much i'm going to do something
13:02i've never done before i am not going to date any other women until i see sarah again
13:09you're going out with her tomorrow that's like 24 hours i know that's three very disappointed ladies
13:16i mean if if sarah sees me with another girl she might feel weird i mean she's right over there
13:21you see now this this is why i don't date girls within the building
13:24okay buddy
13:37uh you working on dinner yet hun it's only three in the afternoon
13:40ah geez what can i tell you i'm on cleveland time
13:43oh god i got the lag bad
13:52you have to say something i don't know oh honey on your crossword you missed an easy one
13:57sesame street character blank monster that's cookie
14:01okay we have to talk uh you know what i'm gonna uh give you two some privacy
14:12honey you know that i love you
14:18but i'm not used to having you around and there are some things that have been bothering me i'm so
14:24sorry i just you know i know i haven't been myself but i'm just so tired with the jet lag yes um funny
14:31you should mention that because one of the problems is that you've been talking a lot about that oh
14:37oh uh well i didn't realize um i'm sorry and please just let me do the crossword puzzles myself
14:46okay and if you're gonna use the exercise bike maybe just throw some shorts on
14:52are those two squirrels doing it again
14:54alex is finally getting everything off her chest with eric and i really don't appreciate
15:01you critiquing me when i'm singing in the shower well as a musician it bothers me when you sing off
15:06key as a musician it also bothers me that you never shave your legs
15:11well as a lawyer it bothers me that your family sucks well you know when you will you please tell them
15:18to get out of there
15:31hey michael look at sarah out there reading oh well every diamond has its flaws
15:40whoa check out that stripper looking girl wandering around
15:43stripper looking she is a stripper i met her at the oh god she's here for me
15:49i'm not dating anyone because of sarah well i cancel my lunch my dinner but not my backup i forgot about
15:54the backup damn i can't even remember her name tammy terry why is she over there
16:02she's clearly lost she's gonna ask sarah where i live something with the tea what are you doing out there
16:07oh okay i need your help all right what can i do okay i need sarah to think that something with the
16:13tea is here for you okay so go out there get her and walk her back here this doesn't really play to
16:18my strengths joey i don't lie well i don't deal with women well i don't walk particularly well
16:25it's from the hot tub to the apartment 15 feet come on michael you can do this i believe in you
16:30there's just no other option if there was would i be asking you hi you remember me right i'm michael
16:42joey's nephew yeah hi hi so that's my date i'm here for her and and she's here for me there's a
16:51connection there it's exciting but i'm i'm really not sure where it's going
16:54excuse me um i'm looking for an apartment do you know where i live yes right there it's me who are
17:04you who am i i'm michael your lover my what what's going on nothing's going on this is just uh it's a man
17:14down man down go to your room and think about what you did
17:24ladies before i commit to a path here what is the situation as everyone understands it
17:32well if i were to guess i would say that this nice woman charlene wow was i off
17:40charlene was here for a date with you and you had michael come out to pretend that she was here for him
17:45that's that's that's not what this is then what is it
17:57you're in trouble
18:00see you later joey sarah wait charlene look i'm i'm gonna have to cancel okay i really need to go
18:08deal with her okay call me joey well you're game
18:20hey listen sarah i am really sorry about that but you should know i made that date with charlene
18:25before i even met you i'm not upset that you had a date i don't care that you see other women but you
18:29lied to me and put on that stupid show just be honest joey it's the most important thing
18:35so to summarize i can see other women yeah i get that you're a type of guy who dates a lot
18:44i'm okay with that are you serious we went out on one date how inappropriate would it be for me to be
18:49jealous very oh you are so cool this is gonna work out great hey sarah hey rick hey we better get
18:59going if we're gonna make that movie you know what i just need a minute so just make yourself at home
19:04sure
19:10so you date too is that okay yes of course it's awesome i love it all right cheesesteak
19:18how'd it go with sarah well she's not mad at me in fact she doesn't mind if i see other women
19:34that's great kind of
19:38yeah she's actually with another guy right now you okay with that not really
19:43feeling a little jealous not something i've experienced much don't care for it
19:52well we did it eric and i talked we screamed a bit we got everything out in the open it was
19:59pretty intense look alex i'm sorry but can we talk about this another time i'm going through some stuff
20:04right now okay there's a guy over there with his hands all over my cheesesteak
20:08eric and i are getting separated
20:17that's bigger
20:30excuse me yeah i saw a flower this morning
20:33and i thought it was the most beautiful thing i'd ever seen until i gazed upon you wow thank you
20:42would you like to go and get some coffee okay
20:49oh god your legs i gotta go
20:53damn you chicken legs
21:02place them
21:07you
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