- 2 hours ago
- #comedy
- #humor
- #stageplay
#comedy #humor #stageplay
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00Good evening, and a very Merry Christmas to you.
00:00:05I'm David Suchet, and I'm speaking to you direct from the BBC studios.
00:00:10I'm hugely excited to have been asked by the BBC to narrate tonight's amateur production of Peter Pan,
00:00:17performed by the recipients of this year's BBC Community Choice Award.
00:00:22So, before we begin, let's take a moment and meet the Cornley Polytechnic Drama Society.
00:00:30The Cornley Polytechnic Drama Society is an amateur theatre group.
00:00:34We're made up of people who do lots of different courses,
00:00:37but who come together in the evenings and at the weekends to create theatre.
00:00:43I am Chris, I am the director.
00:00:46I'm Robert, I'm the lead actor.
00:00:48I'm not the lead actor.
00:00:50Well, I'm the best actor.
00:00:51No one can understand you.
00:00:57I've been working as a stage manager for Cornley for about five years now.
00:01:01And what these so-called BBC professionals need to learn,
00:01:05that when we're live, it's my stage.
00:01:09Why were we selected?
00:01:11Hard work, talent, and our previous high-quality productions.
00:01:16Oh, and because of our cast member, Max, whose aunt runs the BBC.
00:01:22Our strengths, um, well, everyone's really keen.
00:01:28Yeah, everyone's really committed.
00:01:31Yeah, it's been a good game to know each other really well.
00:01:34And, you know, now we're really close.
00:01:36Yeah, really close.
00:01:37Robert's niece is playing the Lost Boy Tootles.
00:01:43She's quite nervous about being on live TV, but, um, Robert's coaching her, so she'll be fine.
00:01:48Come on, Lucy, more confidence.
00:01:51You're going to ruin Christmas.
00:01:53Just want to get through the whole thing without killing anyone.
00:01:57That's your cue, Dennis.
00:02:00God, can we get him an earpiece?
00:02:03Got a headset.
00:02:04Will it be noticeable?
00:02:05No.
00:02:10We are confident this pantomime will run smoothly.
00:02:14This is not a pantomime.
00:02:16It is a traditional Christmas vignette.
00:02:19Oh, no, it isn't.
00:02:24Ah.
00:02:28Right, that's my cue.
00:02:31Here we go.
00:02:32See you on the other side.
00:02:35See you on the other side.
00:03:05All children except one.
00:03:08All children except one grow up.
00:03:21Wendy discovered that she would grow up when she was at a picnic and her mother said the words,
00:03:28Oh, I wish you could stay like this forever.
00:03:32And then she knew it is this very Wendy, along with her two brothers, Michael, and John, who begin our story.
00:03:51The setting is their bedroom on the third floor of a townhouse in Bloomsbury.
00:04:05Come along, boys.
00:04:06Come along, boys.
00:04:06Stop playing around.
00:04:08It's time for you to get into your bedclothes.
00:04:10It's too early for bed, Wendy.
00:04:12Wendy, you're turning into mother.
00:04:13Well, I should love to be like mother.
00:04:18Well, I shouldn't.
00:04:19That would be ever so dreary, Wendy.
00:04:25John's right.
00:04:26I can't stand being cooped up in this boring old nursery.
00:04:29I'm four years old.
00:04:30Not every day can be an adventure, Michael.
00:04:40Now, it's time to get ready for bed.
00:04:42I can hear father's footsteps.
00:04:45Has anyone seen my cufflinks?
00:04:48Oh, George, you are forever losing things.
00:04:55Their father, George Darling, was a man of business.
00:04:58A little pompous, but with a kind heart.
00:05:01I have searched them out.
00:05:03Far less serene than their mother, Mary Darling, a genteel and elegant woman.
00:05:11I have searched the house.
00:05:12Although sometimes he forgot to show it, George loved them all dearly.
00:05:26I have searched the house high and low.
00:05:28I put a thing down for a moment and it is as if fairies have danced off with it.
00:05:32Oh, father, I would so love to have fairies skipping about the house.
00:05:36I don't believe in fairies.
00:05:37Wendy, have you seen my cufflinks?
00:05:39No, father.
00:05:40I mean really.
00:05:41Is it me or is the world going mad?
00:05:52I'll look in the drawing room, George.
00:05:56Perhaps Nana has seen them, father.
00:05:58That creature is almost certainly the reason they are missing.
00:06:02I don't understand all this affection towards that dreadful animal.
00:06:13What about me?
00:06:14Where are my cufflinks?
00:06:15Perhaps Liza has seen them.
00:06:19The final member of the household was Liza, the Darling's housekeeper.
00:06:23Different in every way to Mrs. Darling.
00:06:27I found your cufflinks, Mr. Darling.
00:06:30He left them on the dresser.
00:06:32A sweeter family you've never seen.
00:06:38With hearts as good as gold.
00:06:41And on this fateful evening, our story shall unfold.
00:06:48Thank you, Liza.
00:06:59You have saved my evening.
00:07:03Now leave that beast alone, the three of you.
00:07:05We're only petting her father.
00:07:10That dog needs to be taught some discipline.
00:07:13Now all of you, time to bed and to take your medicine.
00:07:15Fetch the medicine bottle, Nana.
00:07:16When I was small, I used to...
00:07:17When I was small, I used to thank my mother and father for giving me medicine.
00:07:26I would say...
00:07:27I would say...
00:07:28I would say...
00:07:29I would say thank your kind parents for giving me bottles to keep me well.
00:07:46Ah, here is Nana now.
00:07:48Bring me the medicine bottle, Nana.
00:07:50Bring me the medicine bottle, Nana.
00:08:07Thank you, Nana.
00:08:09Now fetch me a spoon.
00:08:17Liza!
00:08:21Yes, Mr. Darling!
00:08:23Liza, take that wretched animal outside and chain her to her kennel.
00:08:26Come on, Nana!
00:08:29Outside!
00:08:33Thank God that animal's gone.
00:08:39What's all this commotion, George?
00:08:41Mary, my dear, nothing's wrong.
00:08:43The children were just getting into bed.
00:08:45Where's Nana?
00:08:46Liza locked her outside.
00:08:48But she protects the children.
00:08:50Protects them from what?
00:08:51The boy who visits this room.
00:08:53Oh, what nonsense.
00:08:54Mother and I saw him the other evening.
00:08:56He slipped away through the window.
00:08:58Mother ran to slam it shut before he could escape, but he was too nimble.
00:09:01The window shut, and we caught just a shadow, which started dancing across the room.
00:09:06A dancing shadow?
00:09:10Oh, really?
00:09:11Whatever will you come up with next?
00:09:12I had Liza lock it in the chest.
00:09:14See for yourself, George.
00:09:16Liza has the key.
00:09:18The key.
00:09:19I shall get Liza to fetch the key.
00:09:21Liza!
00:09:22Yes, Miss Wendy.
00:09:25Have you the key to the chest?
00:09:27I shall fetch it at once.
00:09:30Your cab's here, Mr. Darling.
00:09:31Excellent.
00:09:32Let's go down.
00:09:37Another cab's here, Mr. Darling.
00:09:39Excellent.
00:09:40Let's go down.
00:09:42A third cab's here, Mr. Darling.
00:09:46Three cabs.
00:09:50One for Mary, one for me, and one for my hat.
00:09:59Let's go downstairs.
00:10:00I shall fetch the key, Miss Wendy.
00:10:02Thank you, Liza.
00:10:04Mary, the cab's here.
00:10:06The cab's here.
00:10:07I shall fetch my shawl.
00:10:09Very good, Mary.
00:10:10Where is that maid?
00:10:11Liza!
00:10:12I found the key, Miss Wendy.
00:10:17Now I can show you the shadow, Father.
00:10:19Oh, Wendy, you really must grow up.
00:10:21There is no shadow.
00:10:28That'll be all, Liza.
00:10:30I don't have time for this.
00:10:32Please, look, Father.
00:10:34Mary, the cab's here.
00:10:35The cab's here.
00:10:36We shall be late.
00:10:45The cab's here.
00:10:46Yes, I found my shawl.
00:10:48Very good.
00:10:49Come along, Mary.
00:10:51I'm going downstairs.
00:10:53Someone has to be grown up around here.
00:11:05Puerto Rico.
00:11:06Cruise the mic.
00:11:08No.
00:11:09Maybe.
00:11:10No.
00:11:11But.
00:11:13Or anything.
00:11:15Okay.
00:11:16As soon as I am going downstairs.
00:11:17In this place, the cracked altar tips.
00:11:20Yes, that's good.
00:11:22Ah, look.
00:11:23Very good.
00:11:24And you hear the Willyげ Casey?
00:11:26Yes, that's hard enough to sit too.
00:11:27Die shapes from folks.
00:11:29nie me.
00:11:30All right, my dears, time to turn the lights out.
00:11:52Make sure you all...
00:11:54What is it, Mother?
00:11:56I thought I saw a face at the window.
00:11:59Nothing there.
00:12:02Must be my imagination.
00:12:06Won't you sing as a lullaby, Mother?
00:12:09No, Dennis.
00:12:11Speak with feeling, for God's sake.
00:12:15No, no, no.
00:12:18Don't repeat that, you idiot.
00:12:26Of course, my sweet.
00:12:29Oh, my dearlings, don't you stir.
00:12:45Dream of a world of adventure.
00:12:50Be at peace.
00:12:56You'll be grown up one day.
00:13:01Till then, put your fears away.
00:13:07Oh, you're afraid to get your hands safely cut into your head.
00:13:24Oh, it's quiet and slow.
00:13:32Oh, it's dark.
00:13:36Never evening farms.
00:13:39That's my Silencer so much.
00:13:42Have myself is taken to hide away.
00:13:47I made a wish on helpers of a great Easter day
00:13:59I made a wish on helpers of a great Easter day
00:14:07God my sleeping face tonight
00:14:15God my sleeping face tonight
00:14:35That was beautiful, Mother.
00:14:37Thank you, my dear.
00:14:39Mother, can anything harm us when the night light is lit?
00:14:42Nothing precious.
00:14:45They are the eyes a mother leaves behind to guard her children.
00:14:57Mother, you look pretty tonight.
00:15:01Are you tucked in, Michael?
00:15:03Yes, Mother.
00:15:05Are you comfortable?
00:15:07Yes, Mother.
00:15:11Mother.
00:15:12And you, Wendy?
00:15:13Yes, Mother.
00:15:15And you, sweet John, are you feeling sleepy?
00:15:23Good night, my dears.
00:15:27Dear night lights that protect my sleeping babes burn clear and steadfast tonight.
00:15:35Beautiful.
00:15:37Oh, come here.
00:15:41Perfect.
00:15:43I'm not the heat of my sleeping vagina.
00:15:45What do you want?
00:15:46Wait, wait, wait.
00:15:47Wait, wait, wait.
00:15:49Wait, wait, wait.
00:15:51Thank heavens I didn't wake the children.
00:16:20Tinkerbell?
00:16:21Tink?
00:16:22Where are you?
00:16:23Have you found my shadow?
00:16:24Do you know where they put it?
00:16:33There you are.
00:16:34Do you know where they put it?
00:16:36In here?
00:16:45Are you ready, Tink?
00:16:47Don't let it startle you.
00:16:48It's time to get my shadow back.
00:16:50Don't let it dance away.
00:16:51Oh!
00:16:52Oh!
00:16:53Ah-ha!
00:16:54Got you!
00:16:55Now to stick you back where you belong.
00:16:56I'll stick you back on with...
00:16:57Soap!
00:16:58Boy!
00:16:59Why are you crying?
00:17:00Oh!
00:17:01Ah-ha!
00:17:02Why are you crying?
00:17:03Oh!
00:17:04Oh!
00:17:05Oh!
00:17:06Oh!
00:17:07Oh!
00:17:08Oh!
00:17:09Oh!
00:17:10Oh!
00:17:11Oh!
00:17:12Oh!
00:17:13Oh!
00:17:14Oh!
00:17:15Oh!
00:17:16Oh!
00:17:17Oh!
00:17:18Ah-ha!
00:17:19Got you!
00:17:20Now to stick you back where you belong.
00:17:21I'll stick you back on with soap boy why are you crying I'm not crying what's
00:17:34your name Wendy Moira Angela darling what's yours Peter Pan what are you
00:17:39doing I'm trying to stick my shadow back on you can't stick a shadow back on with
00:17:44soap it must be sewn what is sewn I shall show you there it's done why don't you
00:17:53try it Wendy it's done look look oh the cleverness of me I'll give you a kiss if
00:18:01you like thank you don't you know what a kiss is I shall know when you give it to
00:18:05me and now shall I give you a kiss if you
00:18:14please not on stage an acorn I shall wear it on a chain around my neck how old are
00:18:30you I don't know quite young I run away I ran away the day I was born I heard mother
00:18:41father talking about us to be when I was a man I want always to be a little boy
00:18:45and to have fun so I ran away to Kensington Gardens and lived a long time
00:18:49among the fairies you know fairies Peter yes but they're nearly all dead now
00:18:56children know such a lot now soon they don't believe in fairies and every time
00:19:01a child says I don't believe in fairies there's a fairy somewhere that falls down
00:19:05dead you can fly of course I can fly did you learn to do that in Neverland I fly everywhere with my
00:19:25friends the lost boys how thrilling Wendy come away with me to Neverland oh dear I
00:19:38mustn't think of mother besides I can't fly I'll teach you oh how lovely to fly
00:19:45but is it far not far at all just the other side of the stars would you teach John and Michael
00:19:58you're off stage you're off stage right now what's wrong with you
00:20:26don't explain me a face like that
00:20:28not again
00:20:41John Michael wake up there is a boy here who is to teach us to fly
00:20:48fly I should love to fly
00:20:52can you really fly look oh my how do you do it it's simple you just need your happiest thoughts and
00:21:11a little bit and a little bit of fairy dust fairy dust had a lightbulb
00:21:21are we all ready to fly just think of a lovely wonderful thought and it will lift you into the air
00:21:27the air
00:21:29one two three
00:21:30three
00:21:39we're flying
00:21:47We're flying!
00:21:54I feel light as air!
00:21:57Whee!
00:21:59It's time to go!
00:22:00Follow me to the window!
00:22:03Come on, Tink!
00:22:05Second to the right,
00:22:07and straight on till morning!
00:22:09Here we go!
00:22:11No!
00:22:17Come on, boys!
00:22:23Just believe, and you can fly!
00:22:30See?
00:22:31It's easy when you know how!
00:22:33Try to keep up, if you can!
00:22:37Peter!
00:22:38I'm coming!
00:22:40Oh, my God!
00:22:42Oh, my God!
00:22:42Oh, my God!
00:22:43Oh, my God!
00:22:45Look!
00:22:46No!
00:22:46No!
00:22:47No!
00:22:47No!
00:22:47No!
00:22:48No!
00:22:48No!
00:22:48No!
00:22:48No!
00:22:49No!
00:22:49No!
00:22:49No!
00:22:50No!
00:22:50No!
00:22:51No!
00:22:51No!
00:22:52No!
00:22:52No!
00:22:53No!
00:22:53No!
00:22:54Get me down!
00:22:54Peter!
00:22:55Wait for me!
00:22:56Neverland!
00:22:57Neverland!
00:22:58Here we come!
00:23:00Here we come!
00:23:01And so we arrive in the forests of Neverland,
00:23:11a world of infinite wonders.
00:23:15So as Peter flies with Wendy, and the fairy Tink draws near, our tale shall continue, and
00:23:22I shall disappear!
00:23:25Wendy, look!
00:23:27We're here!
00:23:28Hello, Tootles!
00:23:30Oh!
00:23:31A-a-a-a!
00:23:35A-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a.
00:23:35Wendy, look.
00:23:40We're here.
00:23:42Hello, tootles.
00:23:48Lucy, you are doing this.
00:23:54Pe...
00:23:54Pe...
00:23:56Peter.
00:23:59I have...
00:24:01I have to...
00:24:04Tell...
00:24:05I have to tell you something.
00:24:09Oh, yes?
00:24:10What is it you have to tell us, tootles?
00:24:13Captain Hook has kidnapped Tiger Lily!
00:24:18He has?
00:24:19Then we must rescue her.
00:24:21She is our friend after all.
00:24:23Tink, go and find where they've taken her.
00:24:34Pe...
00:24:39Pe...
00:24:40Peter.
00:24:43Peter!
00:24:45Oh, for God's sake!
00:24:50Help!
00:24:51Help!
00:24:51Help!
00:24:52Help!
00:24:53Help!
00:24:57Well, um, thank you, tootles.
00:25:02Oh, Peter!
00:25:09You play beautifully!
00:25:11Yarr!
00:25:12Yarr!
00:25:13This way!
00:25:13Huggies, quickly, into the light-up!
00:25:15Ha, ha!
00:25:15Yarr!
00:25:19Yeah!
00:25:19Ha, ha, ha!
00:25:20Ha, ha, ha!
00:25:20Ha, ha, ha!
00:25:20Ha, ha, ha!
00:25:21Ha, ha, ha!
00:25:22Ha, ha, ha!
00:25:22Ha, ha, ha!
00:25:24Ha, ha, ha, ha!
00:25:25Ha, ha, ha, ha!
00:25:29Ha, ha, ha, ha!
00:25:31Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
00:25:34The glorious sound of a deserted forest.
00:25:38Ha, ha, ha, ha!
00:25:39Ha, ha, ha, ha!
00:25:40Ha, ha, ha, ha!
00:25:41A cab.
00:25:42Ha, ha, ha, ha!
00:25:44Captain, we shall find the Lost Boys' ass!
00:25:47Ha, ha, ha, ha!
00:25:49You're listening to BBC Radio 3!
00:25:52That was a violin control in E minor by Johan Burns!
00:25:58Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
00:26:00You find the Lost Boys' at the Mermaid's Lagoon.
00:26:02You may be right, Smead!
00:26:03Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
00:26:04I'm loving angels instead!
00:26:07Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
00:26:09And through it...
00:26:10Thank you, Mr. Smead!
00:26:11Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
00:26:12No!
00:26:13Most of all, I want Peter Pan.
00:26:15For he cut off my arm, Starkey.
00:26:17He's right for that boy and no matter.
00:26:19Give me a...
00:26:20Give me a...
00:26:21Give me a...
00:26:22Give me a...
00:26:23Give me a...
00:26:24Give me a...
00:26:25Give me a...
00:26:26Give me a...
00:26:27Give me a...
00:26:28Give me a...
00:26:29Give me a...
00:26:30Exactly!
00:26:33Pan flung my arm to a crocodile that happened to be passing by.
00:26:38Followed around ever since, Captain Hook.
00:26:50That he has, Smead!
00:26:52That he has!
00:26:54By lucky chance, it's swallowed a clock, Captain.
00:26:57So before it can reach you, you hear the tick-tock and bolt!
00:27:00What are you doing with your pistol out, Mr. Smead?
00:27:03I wouldn't want to be caught unawares, Captain.
00:27:07Put that thing away, Smee!
00:27:12Or I'll strike you down with my hook!
00:27:16No!
00:27:17Put that thing away, Smee!
00:27:19Or I'll strike you down with my hook!
00:27:21I'm hook!
00:27:22You're Smee!
00:27:23I'm John!
00:27:24You're Smee!
00:27:25But soon I shall have the foolish boy within my grasp!
00:27:30Ah!
00:27:31Revenge is a grand thing!
00:27:34Oh no, it isn't!
00:27:36Yes, it is!
00:27:41Oh no, it isn't!
00:27:45Oh yes, it is!
00:27:47Oh no, it isn't!
00:27:49Yes, it is!
00:27:50Oh no, it isn't!
00:27:51Yes, it is!
00:27:52Yes, it is!
00:27:53Yes, it is!
00:27:54Yes, it is!
00:27:55It is!
00:27:56Yes, it is!
00:27:57Of course it is!
00:28:00This is not a pantomime!
00:28:02Oh yes, it is!
00:28:04Yes, it is!
00:28:05Yes, it is!
00:28:06Shut up!
00:28:07Boo!
00:28:08Don't boo me!
00:28:09Boo!
00:28:10Boo!
00:28:11How would you like it if I booed you?
00:28:13Boo!
00:28:14Boo!
00:28:15Boo!
00:28:16Boo!
00:28:17Boo!
00:28:18It's not nice, is it?
00:28:20Boo!
00:28:21But hold men, what's this?
00:28:23Boo!
00:28:24Boo!
00:28:25Boo!
00:28:26A calf!
00:28:27Oh no, it is!
00:28:28Yes, it is!
00:28:29Yes, it is!
00:28:30I don't know why it is, but it is!
00:28:33Also, there's this!
00:28:35Something strange!
00:28:37Smoke coming out of this tree stump!
00:28:50A chimney, Cotton!
00:28:51Listen, men!
00:28:52It is plain pan, and the lost boys live here among the trees and underneath the ground!
00:28:59You see these tracks down to the shore, men?
00:29:02Aye, Cotton, the tears clear as day!
00:29:04Follow them back to the Tolly Roger!
00:29:06Go, Tiger Lily, to the lagoon!
00:29:08Put her on the Luna's Rock and nab pan!
00:29:11Ah!
00:29:12Ah!
00:29:13Ah!
00:29:14Get off!
00:29:15Get off!
00:29:16Go!
00:29:17Go!
00:29:18Just get out of it!
00:29:19Ah!
00:29:20A vast belay when I appear, my fear there overtook, knots left upon your bones when you've shaken
00:29:31claws with hook!
00:29:32There!
00:29:33And so the dastardly pirates set off with evil intent!
00:29:36What is this place?
00:29:37This is Maruna's Rock!
00:29:38Tink said that the pirates will be bringing Tiger Lily here!
00:29:43Yo-ho!
00:29:44Yo-ho!
00:29:45Yo-ho!
00:29:46Here they come!
00:29:47Hide!
00:29:48A very love, a hempen rope and a hay for Davy Jones!
00:29:49Ya-ha-ha-ha-ha!
00:29:50Oh, tis good to be upon the water, me lover!
00:29:51Now we must follow the captain's orders and...
00:29:52Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
00:29:53Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
00:29:54Oh, tis good to be upon the water, me lover!
00:29:55Now we must follow the captain's orders and...
00:29:59Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
00:30:08Oh, tis good to be upon the water, me lover!
00:30:13Yes!
00:30:13Now we must follow the captain's orders and...
00:30:16and hoist Tiger Lily onto the rock
00:30:23and leave her there to drown.
00:30:33Any last words, Tiger Lily?
00:30:41These words shan't be my last.
00:30:44As Peter Pan shall save me.
00:30:48This is a terrible show.
00:30:52Of cowardice, Tiger.
00:30:56We thought you'd put up more of a fight.
00:31:00Brave men do not sneak upon defenseless girls.
00:31:04You are true cowards.
00:31:06You can't act.
00:31:10In this way, when the captain arrives,
00:31:13you have a sharp tongue now,
00:31:16but you shall tremble at the sight of Hook's impressive arse.
00:31:24Snow of weapons.
00:31:27Back aboard the Jolly Roger.
00:31:30Poor Tiger Lily.
00:31:31Help her, Peter.
00:31:32Of course I shall.
00:31:34I'll impersonate Hook.
00:31:36Watch.
00:31:36Ahoy there, you lovers.
00:31:40Tis the captain.
00:31:41He must be rowing out to us.
00:31:43Just putting Tiger Lily onto the rock, captain.
00:31:47Release her, you blithering imbeciles.
00:31:49Cut her free.
00:31:51Aye, Captain.
00:31:52I'll cut her free.
00:31:53Yeah, ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:31:54Yeah, hey.
00:32:10What don't you cut her free?
00:32:16I don't know what to say.
00:32:19I don't know what to say.
00:32:49I don't know what to say.
00:32:51Yeah.
00:32:54I don't know.
00:32:55I don't know.
00:32:56I don't know.
00:32:56They say it now.
00:32:59Well, I don't know what you hurt.
00:33:04I'm already wearing a hat.
00:33:10Everybody understand.
00:33:13Except for you.
00:33:15Everybody.
00:33:16I got it!
00:33:17Just get it!
00:33:19Ah, sit free, Captain.
00:33:23But Starkey, the captain seems kinda out of sorts.
00:33:30Nonsense.
00:33:31Here he comes, rowing out to us now.
00:33:34Action!
00:33:39Where's Tiger Lily?
00:33:41We let her go!
00:33:42Let her go?
00:33:44Twas your orders, Captain!
00:33:46You're blundering blockheads!
00:33:48I said no such thing!
00:33:50Only pedalos on the lake!
00:33:54Captain, you didn't give the orders!
00:33:57Who did?
00:34:01Perhaps it be the dark spirit that haunts this here lagoon, Starkey.
00:34:11Six o'clock, park's closed.
00:34:13Come on!
00:34:17Mary, Captain.
00:34:21Legend says this lagoon is haunted by the ghosts of brown sailors.
00:34:30Oh, hello, Chris.
00:34:35Step ashore, Captain.
00:34:36I shall.
00:34:37I shall.
00:34:46Just hear me.
00:34:48I hear you.
00:34:49Who are you, stranger?
00:34:50Speak!
00:34:51I am James Hook, captain of the Jolly Roger.
00:34:53Oh, no, you are not!
00:34:54Oh, yes, he is!
00:34:55No, he's not!
00:34:56He's not!
00:34:57What's that noise, Captain?
00:34:58A ticking clock.
00:34:59It is the crocodile!
00:35:00Ah!
00:35:01Ah!
00:35:02Ah!
00:35:03Ah!
00:35:04Snow!
00:35:05Snap!
00:35:06Snap!
00:35:07Snap!
00:35:08Snap!
00:35:10Snap!
00:35:11comida!
00:35:12Snap!
00:35:13Snap!
00:35:14Snap!
00:35:15Snap!
00:35:16Snap!
00:35:17Snap!
00:35:18Snap!
00:35:20Snap!
00:35:21Spin it!
00:35:22Snap!
00:35:23If you are Hulk, then who am I?
00:35:24Then who am I?
00:35:26A cart fish.
00:35:27Cut, and that will do.
00:35:29We are done for the day.
00:35:30All right, I'll pack up the...
00:35:31I wanted to talk to you about something.
00:35:34What?
00:35:35It's about Jonathan and Sandra.
00:35:38He's playing Peter Pan and she's playing Wendy.
00:35:40They shouldn't be sleeping together.
00:35:43He's supposed to be the boy who wouldn't grow up,
00:35:45not the boy who couldn't keep it in his pants.
00:35:48She's just as bad flirting with everybody.
00:35:50It's no wonder that Max is obsessed with her.
00:35:52Yes, that's why he wanted to play Peter.
00:35:55To get closer to her.
00:35:56But Max can't act!
00:35:59He's terrible as Mike.
00:36:01And the crocodile.
00:36:02He's playing it like a mammal.
00:36:05I know, Robert, but we need his aunt.
00:36:08She runs the BBC.
00:36:10It's the only reason he's here.
00:36:11What a loser.
00:36:13Oh, left the microphone on.
00:36:14Oh.
00:36:22Tis Peter Pan!
00:36:34Ah!
00:36:35Tis I!
00:36:36Yeah!
00:36:37Ha ha ha!
00:36:38Yeah!
00:36:39Ha ha!
00:36:41Ha ha!
00:36:41Ha ha!
00:36:41Vanglorious boy, I shall split your bones with my hook.
00:36:46Hey!
00:36:47Can you hear me?
00:36:47Yeah!
00:36:48Ho!
00:36:48Ho!
00:36:49Ha ha!
00:36:49Nothing ever hurts me!
00:36:51I'm Peter Pan!
00:36:53I'm back!
00:36:53Oh!
00:36:54No!
00:36:54No!
00:36:55Come on!
00:36:56Shut up!
00:36:56Get down to heights!
00:36:58Come on!
00:36:58Shut up!
00:36:59You shall die by my blade!
00:37:01Pan!
00:37:02To die would be an awfully big adventure!
00:37:06What's happened?
00:37:18I just fell out of the thing.
00:37:20What?
00:37:20I fell out.
00:37:21Just keep it going.
00:37:22What?
00:37:22Keep it going.
00:37:23Keep it going.
00:37:24I'm terribly sorry, ladies and gentlemen, but we seem to have a slight difficulty here.
00:37:42Many of you may have noticed that Peter Pan took a rather nasty unrehearsed fall there.
00:37:50Obviously, he wasn't thinking his happy thoughts.
00:37:54Quickly, bring him through.
00:37:57He's lost so much blood.
00:38:00Anyhow, I'm sure Peter Pan's injuries will be less severe than those sustained in a production
00:38:07of Oliver the Musical, in which I appeared many years ago now.
00:38:12In the number, boy for sale, boy, boy for sale.
00:38:24Our over-enthusiastic Mr. Bumble tripped backwards onto one of the frailer workhouse children, crushing him.
00:38:36Regrettably, my car was parked in the ambulance bay, and that prevented the paramedics from getting to the poor child.
00:38:52And very sadly, he passed away.
00:38:55And I can't help but feel partially responsible for this tragic event, because it was, as I say, it was my car that stopped medical aid getting to the poor child.
00:39:12But also because I was playing Mr. Bumble.
00:39:25Anyway, I think we're ready to begin again.
00:39:38So, back to Neverland.
00:39:49I hear this evening's meal is imaginary.
00:39:52So, it can be anything you want it to be.
00:39:56Anything?
00:39:57Anything.
00:39:58Anything.
00:39:59You can have steak or salami.
00:40:03You can have chestnuts or cheese.
00:40:07The only thing to remember is the magic word.
00:40:12What?
00:40:13Please.
00:40:15So, I can have anything I can think of?
00:40:17Of course.
00:40:18I could have a lobster or lettuce.
00:40:21You could have pastry or pies.
00:40:25I could have dumplings or damsons.
00:40:28Your taxi has arrived.
00:40:32But give and take, then we can make whatever we can conceive.
00:40:39With faith and trust and fairy dust and the world of make-believe.
00:40:46Wendy, where's Peter?
00:40:47This is Neverland, Michael.
00:40:49He could be anywhere you want him to be.
00:40:52He could be fighting off pirates.
00:40:56Or chasing a horse.
00:40:59He could be riding a star.
00:41:03Impossible.
00:41:05Of course.
00:41:07I could be a steam engine driver.
00:41:11Or a sailor at sea.
00:41:14You could be a prince fighting dragons.
00:41:18Cut to camera three.
00:41:21I'll be a warrior winning the war.
00:41:26I'll be a lawyer learning the law.
00:41:28I'll be a pastor protecting the poor.
00:41:30Teletubbies.
00:41:32Teletubbies.
00:41:33With give and take, then we can make whatever we can conceive.
00:41:39With faith and trust and fairy dust.
00:41:44With sticks and stones and bags of bones.
00:41:48With ups and downs and all arounds.
00:41:52With hops and skips and broken bits.
00:41:55And the world of make-believe.
00:42:08And the world of make-believe.
00:42:13And the world of make-believe.
00:42:19And the world of make-believe.
00:42:22I wish we could stay here forever.
00:42:35Michael, you must not forget that we have a mother and father waiting for us back at home.
00:42:41Oh, I hear Peter outside.
00:42:43Quickly, all of you.
00:42:44You know how he likes you to meet him at the door.
00:42:46Peter enters.
00:43:05Peter, you're back.
00:43:06Any adventures, Peter?
00:43:09A battle with two tigers and a dozen pirates.
00:43:12How exciting, Peter.
00:43:13I love adventures, Wendy.
00:43:16Peter flies around the room showboating and full of mirth.
00:43:20Stop.
00:43:22Stop.
00:43:22No, no, no, no.
00:43:26Oh, no, no, no.
00:43:28Oh, no, no, no, no.
00:43:29Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:43:31Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
00:43:31Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
00:43:33Oh, Peter.
00:43:35No one flies better than you.
00:43:39I shall tell you my tale.
00:43:41Peter lands nimbly.
00:43:42Oh, no, no, no.
00:43:48This all sounds wonderful, but first you must have your dinner.
00:43:52Peter begins to eat Tinkerbell.
00:44:02Seems most unhappy, Wendy.
00:44:04Perhaps she is angry with me.
00:44:06Fairies have...
00:44:08Fairies!
00:44:10Fairies!
00:44:12Don't hold me all there, because being so small,
00:44:18they've been for only one feeling at a time.
00:44:21I fear she is jealous of me.
00:44:23What the fuck?
00:44:26Not never hurts me, I'm Peter Pan!
00:44:29And Peter flies up onto the table.
00:44:44To die would be an awfully big...
00:44:59Not you, Dennis! Walk away!
00:45:29Thank you, Dennis!
00:45:33Thank you, Dennis!
00:45:53When you die, you fly over the waters and the stars guide your way.
00:45:58Oh, Peter!
00:46:00I do so love adventures, Wendy.
00:46:02Sound cue recording 21, Pan Pipes. Take one.
00:46:07Oh, hello, Max.
00:46:12Sorry, I just wanted to ask about Peter Pan again.
00:46:15Max, we have been over this.
00:46:17You're playing Michael Darling and the Crocodile.
00:46:19But no one likes the Crocodile, and Peter gets to do all the fun stuff.
00:46:24Like kissing Sandra?
00:46:26Remember she's in a relationship...
00:46:27I think I'm in love with Sandra.
00:46:29She's my soul mate.
00:46:32Max, I need to finish recording the Pan Pipes.
00:46:34Sorry.
00:46:35Note.
00:46:36Don't use take one.
00:46:40Let's take one.
00:46:41I'm...
00:46:42I'm...
00:46:43I'm...
00:46:44I'm...
00:46:45I'm...
00:46:46Meanwhile,
00:47:00Wendy began to understand it was time for her, John, and Michael
00:47:09To fly home from Neverland.
00:47:12Peter, if you would come back with me, I'm sure my mother and father would adopt you.
00:47:15No, Wendy.
00:47:16I flew home once to see my mother, and I found that the windows were barred, and she'd forgotten all about me.
00:47:21And there was another little boy asleep in my bed.
00:47:23In that case, I must leave at once, and you must kiss me goodbye, Peter.
00:47:32Oh, Peter, I meant a real kiss.
00:47:35A real kiss?
00:47:37Don't you know what a real kiss is?
00:47:39No, I do not.
00:47:41Then I will show you.
00:47:55This is a real kiss.
00:47:57Yes, Peter, a real kiss.
00:48:05It's time for you all to go now.
00:48:07No fuss, no blubbering.
00:48:09I hope your mother's happy to see you all again.
00:48:11Be careful you don't run into pirates, or that crocodile that nobody likes.
00:48:18But little did Peter, Wendy, or the lost boys know that Hook lurked among the trees,
00:48:25and his men kidnapped the children.
00:48:30I'll grow up.
00:48:31With them all captured, Hook crept into the clearing, and with stealth, cunning, dial, and craft,
00:48:42he added poison to the medicine draught.
00:48:46Now, where is Peter Pan?
00:48:51Where is Peter Pan?
00:48:53He's behind you!
00:49:01Where is Peter Pan?
00:49:04He's behind you!
00:49:06I know!
00:49:07I know!
00:49:08I know!
00:49:08I know!
00:49:08I know!
00:49:09I know he's behind me!
00:49:12I directed the show!
00:49:14I told him to go there!
00:49:17You have to let me find him!
00:49:21Idiots!
00:49:22Where is Peter Pan?
00:49:27Where is Peter Pan?
00:49:28Oh, there he is!
00:49:34Medicine...
00:49:35Poison...
00:49:37A...
00:49:37Ah!
00:49:39Ah!
00:49:39Ah!
00:49:48Oh, yeah!
00:50:02Sorry!
00:50:02You need a hand
00:50:14No I do not need a hand
00:50:18Oh yes you do
00:50:21No I do not
00:50:22Shut up
00:50:29What is wrong with you people
00:50:30This is a serious play
00:50:34Take your hands
00:50:36You're ruining it
00:50:38Yes you are
00:50:42Let me do it
00:51:00Shut up
00:51:24Oh Wendy
00:51:43Oh Tink
00:51:44Tinkerbell
00:51:45What's the matter
00:51:48Wendy and the boys captured by pirates
00:51:51I'll rescue her
00:51:52Where's my dagger
00:51:53That's just my medicine
00:52:00Poisoned
00:52:03Who could have poisoned it
00:52:04I promised I would drink it
00:52:06And I will
00:52:06Stop it that's my medicine
00:52:09Not yours
00:52:10And for me piece of power
00:52:11Not the Tinkerbell the fairy
00:52:12Stop doing it
00:52:13Tinkerbell
00:52:14Tink
00:52:14Tinkerbell
00:52:17Tinkerbell
00:52:20Tinkerbell
00:52:21Tinkerbell
00:52:34Tinkerbell
00:52:36Tinky, Tinky, are you alright?
00:52:41Tinkerbell, Tinkerbell
00:52:42Annie, Annie, Annie
00:52:44Chris, Chris, Chris
00:52:45Chris, Chris
00:52:47Watch your wings, watch your wings
00:52:51Watch your wings in the water
00:52:53She spilled this
00:52:54Electrice
00:53:00Who's the first aider?
00:53:07Who's the first aider?
00:53:11She's the first aider
00:53:12David, David
00:53:19What?
00:53:20Call an ambulance
00:53:21and move your car
00:53:23David, do you have something to cover?
00:53:36What?
00:53:37You're the professional
00:53:38Cover
00:53:38Mesdames et Messieurs
00:54:06It is not very usual
00:54:12For Poirot to be so near
00:54:15To the catastrophe
00:54:16Thank you, baby
00:54:21Get off
00:54:21We have to
00:54:28Believe in fairies
00:54:31Not now, Lucy
00:54:32This is serious
00:54:33I
00:54:38B-B-believe
00:54:40In fairies
00:54:42Grow up, Lucy
00:54:42I
00:54:43B-B-believe
00:54:45In fairies
00:54:47What are you doing?
00:54:48Please
00:54:48I
00:54:49B-B-believe
00:54:51In fairies
00:54:52Settle down
00:54:53Sleep
00:54:53I believe in fairies
00:54:56I believe in fairies
00:54:58I believe in fairies
00:55:02I believe in fairies
00:55:03I believe in fairies
00:55:08I believe in fairies
00:55:08Positions
00:55:11Yes
00:55:13Yes
00:55:15Yes
00:55:15Thank you
00:55:17Thank you
00:55:18You
00:55:18You saved
00:55:20Tinkerbell
00:55:21And now to rescue Wendy, come on Tink, to the pirate ship, it's Hook or me this time.
00:55:50What's going on?
00:55:51Keep going keep going, keep going, keep going, keep going, Keep going.
00:55:56Top the Levi
00:56:15Is there
00:56:16And better, best beware
00:56:21And better, best beware
00:56:24We all hold the pirate
00:56:26Like the flag of scarlet bones
00:56:28A merry hour, a hempen grove
00:56:31And a hay for Davy Jones
00:56:33Come on!
00:56:35Say that to you
00:56:36Stop taping it down
00:56:48It's not going to make a difference
00:56:50That is not wrong
00:56:51Timber, use the anchor
00:56:53Give it back to me
00:56:57Sandra, no, no, no
00:57:00You don't understand
00:57:01Just don't be strange
00:57:06Sandra, she came on to me
00:57:08She came on to me
00:57:09Sandra, Sandra, what was a girlfriend?
00:57:13And a hay for Davy Jones
00:57:17How still the night is
00:57:30Nothing sounds alive
00:57:34A cab?
00:57:39Why is there a cab in the sea?
00:57:44Revenge will soon be mine
00:57:48Save us, Peter!
00:57:50Quiet, you dogs, and I'll cast anchor in you
00:57:53Now, will you join my crew
00:57:57Or die in the light of the full moon?
00:58:06We shall none of us ever be pirates
00:58:08Is that so, my dear?
00:58:11It'll be the plank for you, then
00:58:13Ace me!
00:58:18Dennis, you're wearing the wrong costume
00:58:21Get the plank ready, Mr. Kecko
00:58:25Bring the first prisoner to the plank, Mr. Starkey
00:58:30I come
00:58:31Oh, be brave, Tootles
00:58:34Tootles, come
00:58:40There's none can save him now
00:58:54There's one!
00:58:56Tis I, Peter Pan, the Avenger
00:58:58I'll save you
00:58:59Pan!
00:59:02Peter!
00:59:08Peter!
00:59:11The crocodile is here
00:59:12He knows your end is near
00:59:14Surround them!
00:59:21This one's mine
00:59:23Dark and sinister man
00:59:24Have at me!
00:59:25Not again
00:59:29Get back here, Pan!
00:59:32Keep going!
00:59:35Ah-ha!
00:59:36Ah-ha!
00:59:38Get on!
00:59:39Quit fire!
00:59:40Jesus!
00:59:41Quit fire!
00:59:42The skull's power, people!
00:59:44Snap, snap, snap!
00:59:46Snap, snap, snap!
00:59:48Snap, snap!
00:59:49It's time!
00:59:50No, God!
00:59:51No, no, no!
00:59:52No, no, no, no!
00:59:55What do you think?
00:59:57It's my job!
00:59:58It's my job!
00:59:59It's my job!
01:00:00Oh, my God!
01:00:01My God!
01:00:01Happy Christmas, mate!
01:00:03Careful, careful, careful!
01:00:04Oh, my God!
01:00:16What are you doing?
01:00:17Why will I make this?
01:00:20Eggheads, what is the term
01:00:22given to a person or group
01:00:24illegally distributing
01:00:25copyright material
01:00:27for personal profit?
01:00:31Pirates.
01:00:42The BBC has confirmed
01:00:44the cancellation
01:00:45of its community choice project.
01:00:47The Korean Times
01:00:47of its consumer
01:00:48of its Amazon
01:00:51Look out!
01:00:52Look out, Roman!
01:00:54Oh, my God!
01:00:59Whoa, go!!
01:00:59Look out, new titles!
01:01:00A搞ita!
01:01:04A fucking específic
01:01:09Of its audience
01:01:10Yeah, so...
01:01:12You saved me.
01:01:15Peter, you saved all of us.
01:01:19You're a hero.
01:01:20But I'm not Peter.
01:01:22I'm the crocodile.
01:01:42For God's sake.
01:02:04Thus, perished James Hook and his crew, devoured by the crocodile.
01:02:16Snap, snap, snap.
01:02:19Wendy, of course, had stood taking no part in the fight,
01:02:22though now she watched her hero with glistening eyes.
01:02:26And when he slept that night, she held him tight.
01:02:34And now, sadly, it is time to bring an end to our tale.
01:02:40For we must leave Neverland, Peter and Tinkerbell.
01:02:49And return to that home from which three of our characters had taken flight so long ago.
01:02:56Liza sat by the window and on seeing the children ran to fetch Mrs. Darling.
01:03:04Wendy, John, and the crocodile found the window open.
01:03:20Mr. Darling came rushing in from the yard to celebrate the homecoming of his dear ones.
01:03:26There could not have been a lovelier sight.
01:03:31But there was none there to see it.
01:03:34Except for a strange boy who was sitting at the window.
01:03:39Arrgh!
01:03:41The children, Mr. and Mrs. Darling,
01:03:44and the crocodile,
01:03:47Snap.
01:03:47Stood together,
01:03:51United in their newfound bliss.
01:03:54And perhaps,
01:03:56it was at this moment,
01:03:58they all realized
01:03:59that to live
01:04:01would be an awfully
01:04:03big adventure.
01:04:06The children,
01:04:23The children,
01:04:27And we can play whatever we have on scene
01:04:33And they're just and very dust
01:04:37And the world don't make believe
01:04:40And the world don't make believe
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