- 2 months ago
- #mindyourlanguage
Tv, Mind Your Language - S03 - E08 - What A Tangled Web
#MindYourLanguage
#MindYourLanguage
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00Do-do-do-do-do
00:30Do-do-do-do-do, do-do-do-do-wa
00:37Do-do-do-do, do-do-do-wa
00:39Do-do-do-do-do, do-do-do-wa
00:47What's going on?
00:50Turn it up!
00:52What's the matter, Sid?
00:53Walking all over my floor.
00:55What do you want house to do, fly?
00:57I've just watched it.
00:59not look very clean to me.
01:01No, it won't, not when you're not trampling all over it.
01:04Come along, you three, back to your desks.
01:05Come with you in a minute.
01:06Hey, where you go?
01:08If you must know, I'm going to see a man about a dog.
01:10Ah, that's all right.
01:11In you go.
01:12Right.
01:17But I told you to wash this door.
01:19You did, but...
01:19But do it immediately, else it's graceful.
01:27Oh!
01:29Hi, everyone back.
01:35I must say, it's nice to see you all working hard for a change.
01:38Si, Senor Brown.
01:39We study for our eggs and ham.
01:41Eggs and ham?
01:42Si.
01:43In few weeks, we have eggs and ham.
01:46The word is exam.
01:48Ah, sorry, Rognam.
01:52Excuse me, Mr Brown.
01:53Yes, Miss Courtley.
01:54I am extremely worried about the forthcoming examinations,
01:57particularly so far as your English class is concerned.
02:00Another failure would be unthinkable.
02:02Oh, don't worry, Miss Courtley.
02:03This time we will sail through.
02:05You had better.
02:06However, in order to reassure myself,
02:09I am visiting each class in order to check on its progress.
02:11I am just on my way to the woodwork class,
02:14but I shall be back in a few moments to give your students an oral test.
02:18And I do expect some correct answers.
02:20We'll do our best.
02:22I just hope your best is good enough.
02:27Do not worry.
02:28We will be surprising, Miss Courtney.
02:29Well, that's exactly why I'm worried.
02:32Por favor.
02:33Yes, Rognam.
02:34Eh, did you buy the dog?
02:37What dog?
02:38The one you go see man about.
02:43I went to spend a penny.
02:45Ah, very cheap dog.
02:49All right.
02:50Now, I checked your homework last night,
02:52and you're still making far too many elementary mistakes.
02:55For example, Ali.
02:56Yes, please.
02:57The letters O-H-M-S stand for On Her Majesty's Service,
03:00and not for only Hindus, Muslims, and Sikhs.
03:04Jolly good.
03:05Juan.
03:06Si, signor.
03:07A sextet has absolutely nothing to do with orgies.
03:10Pardon.
03:11You wrong.
03:12I beg your pardon?
03:13Si.
03:14Last week I see a film, Swedish sextet.
03:17Well, never mind what you saw.
03:19A sextet means six people.
03:21Si, like in the film.
03:22There were six big Swedish girls with the big...
03:27Yeah, don't doubt me.
03:29You just look it up in the dictionary and write it out ten times.
03:31Right, right.
03:32Sue Lee, to complete the phrase as wise as,
03:35you could have put an owl or even Solomon,
03:37but not Chairman Mao.
03:39Chairman Mao wiser than everybody.
03:41Yeah, but that's your opinion.
03:43Anna.
03:43Yeah.
03:43A sorcerer is a wizard,
03:45and not something you put a cup on.
03:49Danielle.
03:52Congratulations.
03:53Absolutely perfect.
03:55Hmm, thank you.
03:56But what about my homework?
03:58I was referring to your homework.
04:01Oh.
04:01Giovanni, the correct word to describe a relative by marriage
04:05is in-law, as in brother-in-law,
04:07and not, as you put, out-law.
04:09It's the same thing.
04:11It is not the same thing.
04:12An outlaw is a bandit.
04:14Well, so is my brother-in-law.
04:18Yes, well, I hope you find Miss Courtney's questions as amusing.
04:21She'll be here any minute.
04:22Don't interrupt.
04:23I tend to tolerate your frivolous attitude,
04:25but you'll find that Miss Courtney is a horse of a different colour.
04:27Oh, blimey.
04:28You should not be calling Miss Courtney a horse.
04:30I wasn't, although there may be a certain resemblance.
04:35Mr. Brown, please.
04:37Just a minute, Danielle.
04:38I haven't finished yet.
04:38As I was saying, Miss Courtney will not be as tolerant as I,
04:41but on the other hand, you mustn't let her intimidate you.
04:43She may be a bit of an ogre, but she's only human.
04:47Excuse me, please, Mr. Blount.
04:48I'm not scouting to you, or why are you constantly interrupting me?
04:51I think they are trying to indicate my questions.
04:53Ah, Miss Courtney, I didn't hear you come in.
04:56Obviously.
04:56How long have you been here?
04:57Long enough.
04:59And now, Mr. Brown, if you don't mind,
05:01this horse of a different colour,
05:03this human ogre,
05:05would like to find out how clever your students are.
05:08Yeah, well, certainly.
05:09They're all yours.
05:11Now, who would like to be first?
05:13Well, don't all rush to volunteer.
05:16Oh, very well.
05:17I will ask a question,
05:19and anyone who wishes may answer.
05:23Now then.
05:26What is a circumflex?
05:28Oh, come along.
05:30Circumflex.
05:30C-I-R-C-U-M-F-L-U-X.
05:37Surely somebody knows what a circumflex is.
05:41Yes, please.
05:42Good.
05:43What is it?
05:45No milk today.
05:51I beg your pardon.
05:53So sorry.
05:55Circumflex is an accent mark.
05:57Would you bring me that piece of paper, please?
06:01Which piece of paper?
06:03The piece you are hiding in your hand.
06:06You are meaning this one.
06:14Mr. Brown?
06:17Mr. Brown?
06:18Yes?
06:18Would you wait in the corridor
06:19until I have finished with your students?
06:21Well, I...
06:22Good.
06:22And shut the door after you.
06:24Oh, Mr. Brown?
06:26Yes?
06:27You might as well take this.
06:28You may need it for your milkman.
06:32Now, to continue.
06:34I am a foreigner.
06:36Nein.
06:37You are English.
06:38Let us imagine that I am a foreigner.
06:41Please, Miss Courtney.
06:43What kind of foreigner are you being?
06:45Does it matter?
06:46Oh, yes.
06:47How can we be imagined
06:49when we are not know
06:50what to be imagined?
06:52Oh, very well.
06:56I am Russian.
06:58And if anyone says,
06:59well, am I Russian too,
07:00I shall scream.
07:03Now, Miss Schmidt.
07:04Yeah?
07:04I approach you in the street
07:06and I say,
07:07please will you tell me the time?
07:09What is your reply?
07:11Time you bought yourself a watch.
07:12That is extremely rude.
07:17I do not like Russians.
07:20Let's try it with some general knowledge.
07:23Mr. Singh,
07:25where is Sydney?
07:28Outside, cleaning the corridor.
07:31Not the caretaker, the city.
07:34A thousand apologies.
07:36Anybody?
07:37Australia.
07:38Good.
07:39Mr. Nakazilmi.
07:41Ah, sir?
07:42What can you tell me
07:43about the Duke of Windsor?
07:45Which one?
07:46There is only one Duke of Windsor.
07:48Not so.
07:50Near where I live,
07:51there are three Duke of Windsor.
07:54Two Dukes of Cambridge.
07:57And one Prince of Wales.
07:59I was referring to the person,
08:01not a public house.
08:04Does anyone know
08:05what the letters GC mean?
08:07Giovanni Coupella.
08:09George Cross.
08:12What class is he in?
08:14I don't think I can stand anymore.
08:17Mr. Brown?
08:18Finished already?
08:19I am leaving
08:20while I still retain
08:21some shred of sanity.
08:24Well, you obviously
08:24didn't give her
08:25very good answers.
08:26Eh, not our fault.
08:27Questions were too difficult.
08:29Well, you just have to work harder,
08:31right?
08:31It's almost time to go now.
08:32Don't forget your homework, please.
08:33See you tomorrow.
08:35Oh, God, not again!
08:46Haven't you finished yet, Sidney?
08:47I've washed it twice.
08:48Well, wash it again.
08:49It's still dirty.
08:53Time to go home, Ali.
08:55Oh, blimey.
08:55I'm not wanting to go.
08:57What's the matter?
08:58Can I be speaking to you
09:00most confidentially?
09:01Yes, of course you can.
09:03I'll have a wait.
09:04What's your problem?
09:06You see, my wife, Rihanna,
09:08she's becoming another person.
09:10Oh, dear.
09:10Have you tried hormones?
09:13What are you meaning?
09:14Well, I don't know much
09:15about these sex changes.
09:16Oh, no, she's not doing
09:18anything like that.
09:19No, but you just said
09:20she was becoming another person.
09:21Yes, she's becoming
09:22another lady person,
09:24not man person.
09:25Oh, I see.
09:25You mean she's behaving differently.
09:27Yes, please.
09:28She's making phone calls,
09:30and when I am coming in,
09:31she's hanging up chop-chop.
09:33And at night times,
09:35she's going out,
09:36leaving me in the house
09:37with the baby.
09:38Ah, I'm beginning
09:39to see daylight.
09:42Of course,
09:42it is not being dark yet.
09:45Now, you have just had a baby.
09:47No, my wife had the baby.
09:50But that's it, don't you see?
09:51Lots of women change
09:52after they've had babies.
09:52It's called post-natal depression.
09:54I'm sure she'll get over it.
09:56Some night,
09:57she's not letting me sleep with her.
09:59Have you thought about
10:00getting an au pair?
10:01Oh, blimey.
10:01She would not be letting me
10:03sleep with an au pair.
10:05I need to help with the baby.
10:07Sorry, please.
10:08I also think
10:09she ought to see a doctor.
10:11Oh, no,
10:11she's not liking doctors very much.
10:13But she ought to talk to somebody.
10:15Perhaps you could talk to her.
10:17Me?
10:18Yes, please.
10:18Well, I hardly think I'm qualified.
10:20You must be helping me.
10:21All right,
10:22I'll come home with you tonight
10:23and we'll see what we can do.
10:23Jally good.
10:24All right, yes.
10:25It's probably nothing.
10:28Ah.
10:29Good night, Sid.
10:30Good night, Sid.
10:31Thank you, Sid.
10:42Hello, my beloved.
10:44Baby is fed.
10:45Curry is in oven.
10:46I am going out.
10:48Where are you going?
10:49Pleased to be minding
10:51your own business.
10:52Eh?
10:52I'm bringing Mr. Brown home.
10:54Hello, Mr. Brown.
10:55It is good of you
10:56to be keeping Ali company.
10:57Yeah, well, actually,
10:58I came to...
10:58Well, have a nice evening.
11:00Do not be waiting up for me, Ali.
11:04See?
11:05See what I am meaning?
11:06Where is she going?
11:07What is she doing?
11:08Who is she seeing?
11:09Well, you wait here.
11:10I'll follow her
11:11and see where she goes.
11:12Bye, Mr. Brown.
11:18Bye, everybody.
11:23Bye.
11:24Bye, everyone.
11:25Bye, everybody.
11:30Bye, everyone.
11:31Bye-bye.
11:33Bye.
11:33Bye, everyone.
11:34Bye, business.
11:35Bye, you guys.
11:36Bye.
11:37Bye, everybody.
11:37Bye, are you here?
11:39Bye, tomorrow.
11:39Bye, friends.
11:40I cannot be staying late tonight.
12:01I think Ali is getting suspicious.
12:10Thank you, Sidney.
12:32Enter.
12:34I brought the stop room keys back.
12:36Thank you, Sidney.
12:37If you see Gladys, tell her she can take my tray.
12:40Eh?
12:41Take my tray.
12:42Where to?
12:43Not you, Gladys.
12:46Oh.
12:47Oh, you're wearing a black tie, Sidney.
12:49Yes, I'm in mourning.
12:5128 years to the day it happened.
12:52Oh dear, the death of a loved one.
12:54No, I got married.
12:56You're a real male chauvinist pig.
12:59Pardon?
13:00Pig.
13:01Oh, you've met the wife, haven't you?
13:03That will do, Sidney.
13:06Come on.
13:07Come on.
13:08Come on.
13:09Come on.
13:10Just the fellow I want.
13:11Eh?
13:12I want some advice from a man with experience.
13:14Oh, well, I've been about a bit.
13:16What do you want to know?
13:17Well, I need your help as a married man.
13:20Oh, I am sorry.
13:21Don't catch it dark.
13:23I'm not married.
13:24You are.
13:25Oh, don't remind me.
13:26Look, son, if you're thinking of taking the plunge, forget it.
13:29It's worse than doing porridge.
13:31Now, what can I give you some advice on?
13:33I've changed your mind.
13:34I don't think you are qualified to help me.
13:35I'll ask Miss Courtney.
13:36Oh.
13:41Is it time then?
13:42What time are you referring to?
13:44Lesson time.
13:45Oh, no.
13:46Rehana is coming to see Mr. Brown.
13:49This is Sid, our caretaker man.
13:51This is Mrs. Nadeem, the wife of Ali.
13:54I'm very nice, too.
13:55I have been here.
13:56We are making for him a surprise.
13:57It is thank you party for being such good husband and giving me beautiful baby.
14:09But we are not wanting him to be finding out.
14:12No.
14:13Already he is most suspicious with me going out to arrange everything with Rajit.
14:18Oh, don't worry.
14:19I won't tell a dickie.
14:20Never mind this dickie.
14:22You should not be finding out.
14:25That's what I just said.
14:26When is the surprise?
14:28Tonight.
14:29You are welcome to be coming if you are wishing.
14:31Oh, sir.
14:32Jamila is making lovely food and Gladys is making delicious cakes.
14:37Please.
14:38Where is Mr. Brown?
14:39Is it Miss Courtney's office?
14:41Good.
14:42I must be asking him to be keeping Ali late after class,
14:45so all students can be arriving for party before he is getting home.
14:50Oh.
14:51While you are seeing Mr. Brown, I am going to be speaking with Gladys.
14:54Oh, good.
14:55And you can buy me a nice cup of tea.
14:57See you later, love.
14:59See who that is, Mr. Brown.
15:05It's Ali.
15:06It's Ali.
15:07It's Ali's wife.
15:08I wonder what she wants.
15:09Are you sure you didn't tell Ali about her affair?
15:11Positive.
15:12I just told him I'd lost her.
15:13Well, perhaps he wants to confide in you because you are Ali's friend.
15:18Couldn't she, uh, confide in you?
15:19Certainly not.
15:20It is your problem.
15:21You will deal with it.
15:22I'll leave you alone.
15:23Mr. Brown will see you now.
15:24Sorry about that.
15:25Come in, Rohana.
15:26Sit down.
15:27I am wanting to be asking you something.
15:28Before you do, I've got something to tell you.
15:29Please sit down.
15:30Oh,
15:49I am being waiting.
15:50Yes, uh, look, firstly tell me something.
15:52Do you love Ali?
15:53Oh, yes, very much indeed.
15:56Good, good.
15:57Well, what I have to say is it is rather delicate,
16:00But you and Ellie are both sensible, intelligent people.
16:04And you've been married for almost two years now,
16:06and you've now got a lovely little baby.
16:08Yes.
16:09Well, I want you to know that I understand how these things can happen.
16:12What things?
16:13Well, not babies, but...
16:15Let me put it another way.
16:17When two people have been married for a while,
16:21sometimes familiarity creeps in.
16:23Two people living together, doing the same things day after day,
16:26seeing the same faces.
16:27It's only natural that occasionally one of the parties
16:30feels that something is missing, some excitement, perhaps.
16:34So it's not unusual in these occasions
16:36for one of the parties to meet somebody else
16:38to try and recapture the first flush of romance.
16:41Mr Brown...
16:42Please, let me finish. Let me say just one thing.
16:44The vital question you must ask yourself
16:46is whether to likely throw away what you have already
16:49for some passing infatuation
16:52or to rise above it and start afresh.
16:54To err is human and to forgive, divine.
16:58That's all I have to say.
17:00Oh, I see.
17:01Now, what was it you wanted to ask me?
17:03No.
17:04It is not important now.
17:06Well, Mr Brown, how did you manage?
17:15Extremely well, I think, Miss Cotter.
17:17Oh, sorry.
17:18I was very tactful and, er...
17:20Well, I think she got the message.
17:24Here, are you all right?
17:26It is Mr Brown.
17:27He is telling me something terrible.
17:30What is it?
17:31It is my Ali is having an affair with another woman.
17:39Hello, Ranjit.
17:41Good evening, oh, most wise and illustrious one.
17:44Yes, well, I wish I could say the same about you.
17:46Incidentally, before the other students arrive,
17:48I have something to tell you.
17:50I know everything.
17:52That is why I'm calling you most wise and illustrious?
17:55I mean about what you and Ali's wife have been up to.
17:59Thousand apologies.
18:00Well, I think it's Ali you should be apologising to.
18:03Why should I be apologising to Ali?
18:04For your behaviour.
18:06After all, she is his wife.
18:07I am knowing that.
18:08That is why we are keeping it secret from him.
18:13You ought to be ashamed of yourself.
18:15Oh, no.
18:16I am very pleased to be doing it.
18:18Yeah, I bet you are.
18:20I am sure if she's asking you to do the same,
18:23you'll be most happy to apply.
18:26I hardly think...
18:28Please, not to be telling Ali.
18:31Well, I won't.
18:32For his sake, not yours.
18:33Good.
18:34We are not wanting him to be finding out before tonight.
18:37Well, why tonight?
18:38Tonight, he'll be knowing everything.
18:40Are you going to tell him?
18:41No.
18:42He'll be seeing for himself.
18:46Good Lord.
18:47It'll be a big surprise.
18:49I think it'll be more of a shock.
18:51You are also coming to the party tonight.
18:54What party?
18:55The one we have been arranging for Ali.
18:57I'm getting a bit confused.
18:59You are saying you are knowing everything?
19:01Yeah, well, I just realised I don't know quite as much as I thought I did.
19:03Now, tell me something, Ranji.
19:04Have you been seeing Ali's wife?
19:06Most certainly.
19:07To be arranging the party for him tonight at ten o'clock.
19:10And that's all?
19:11Just a party?
19:12Oh.
19:18Buenas noches, señor Brown.
19:20One.
19:21Si, señor.
19:21This is an English class.
19:22When you arrive here, I expect you to speak English.
19:24No more buenas noches.
19:25Good evening.
19:26Soray.
19:27Yeah.
19:33Good evening, señor Brown.
19:35That's better.
19:36Ah.
19:38Buenas era.
19:38Eh, no, Buenas era.
19:41Speak it English.
19:42Don't you tell me to speak it English, you great Spanish onion.
19:48I punch your head in, you Italian ice cream.
19:52Yeah, all right.
19:53What do you do?
19:53Sit down.
19:54You tell him, señor.
19:55All right, I'm telling both of you.
19:57You sit down.
19:57It's all right, it's all right.
19:58And I'll tell you what I told one.
20:00This is an English class, and when you arrive here, I expect you to speak English.
20:03No more Buenas era.
20:04Good evening.
20:05Okey-cokey.
20:05Good.
20:07Can you spare us?
20:08Good evening.
20:08Good evening, Mr. Brown.
20:10I give up.
20:13Ah, good evening, Jamila.
20:15I have knit for you a scarf.
20:18Oh.
20:18Very kind of you.
20:21Very patriotic.
20:25Quite long.
20:26Ah, it is we start as a pair of sockies.
20:31But I forget to turn around here, so I make it a little bit more longer.
20:37Well, thank you very much.
20:39I saw it will come in useful.
20:43Ah, good evening, Sui.
20:45Hello.
20:46Hello.
20:47Good evening.
20:47Yes.
20:48Right, now, before we go, um, before we go any further this evening, the, uh, education
20:57authority are taking some kind of census and require these forms for the year.
21:01So, um, it's self-explanatory if you'd, uh, complete them now.
21:05And then if you have any problems, don't hesitate to ask, because that's what I'm here for.
21:09All right?
21:09Eh, I have problems.
21:12Well, how can you have a problem?
21:13You haven't even looked at your form yet.
21:15Not pen.
21:18All right, all right, all right.
21:19Ah, right.
21:20Right, anybody else fill a pen?
21:21Si, promissori.
21:22Good, right, now, all you have to do is fill in your surname, your first names, your address
21:26in England, your birth, occupation, sex, marital status, and what subject you're taking.
21:32Excuse?
21:33Yes, Giovanni?
21:34I have had a problem with my first names.
21:36Well, surely you know them.
21:37Sure.
21:38Giovanni, Vincenzo, Marco, Dino, Alberto, Lena.
21:41Yeah, all right, so what's the problem?
21:43I can't get them on the paper.
21:46Don't just put as many as you can.
21:48Okey-cokey.
21:49Monsieur Brown, please, I do not know the name of the hospital where I was born.
21:54You don't have to put the hospital, just the town.
21:57Just the town?
21:58Have you put the hospital too?
22:00No.
22:01Place where born, bed.
22:03Finish.
22:04Good.
22:05Correction, not so good.
22:05Por favor.
22:06The correct answer to sex is not at least once a week.
22:18You should put male or female.
22:23Eh, no sex with males.
22:27Only females.
22:30Squeeze, please.
22:32Hi.
22:32Ben, you're being late.
22:34You almost missed the census.
22:36Rehama is still being very mysterious.
22:39Oh, look, don't worry.
22:40Everything will be all right.
22:41Tonight at ten o'clock, all will be revealed.
22:44Are you really sure Ali's knocking about with another bird?
22:53Yes.
22:53Mr. Brown would not be telling me lies.
22:56Yes.
22:56Oh, they're all alike, these men.
22:58Huh, doesn't deserve a party like this.
23:02I am being so unhappy.
23:04I know what I would do.
23:05What?
23:06Kick him out.
23:07Anna is right.
23:08He is being unfaithful.
23:10He behaves like an animal.
23:11He deserves what he gets.
23:12He does.
23:14Hello, my beloved.
23:15Don't you beloved me, you...
23:16Oh, beloved.
23:19What are you doing that for?
23:21Eh, you very bad man, you...
23:25Mr. Brown is telling me you are having girlfriend.
23:27You damn fool!
23:28Why are you saying that for?
23:29I didn't.
23:30You've obviously misunderstood me.
23:31You are nearly breaking up my marriage.
23:33Oh, I am sorry, Ali.
23:36It is you I should be throwing cakey at.
23:38Please, you cannot be throwing cakey at Mr. Brown.
23:42I will do it.
23:43What?
23:57Oh, my God.
23:57Visiting, I will be throwing cakey at me.
24:01Ha, ha, ha, ha.
24:02Ha, ha, ha, ha.
24:04Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
24:06Ha, ha, ha, ha.
24:10Ha, ha, ha, ha.
24:12Ha, ha, ha.
Comments