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Tv, Mind Your Language - S01 — E06 — Come Back All Is Forgiven
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TVTranscript
00:00The End
00:30Do-do-do-do-wa, do-do-do-do-do-wa
00:33Oh, good evening, Mr. Brown.
00:43Good evening, Gladys.
00:44How are you?
00:45Oh, you'll get me shot, then, for her ladyship.
00:48I wish you won't miss one.
00:49Oh.
00:50Is the old dragon in?
00:52Yes, the old dragon is.
00:53Oh.
00:54Evening.
00:55I'll take that.
00:56Oh, are we economising on biscuits, Gladys?
00:58I'll get you some more.
01:02I don't think she likes me.
01:04She doesn't like anybody.
01:06Oh, by the way, many happy returns of the day.
01:09How did you know it was my birthday?
01:10I saw your date of birth last week in a ladyship's ledger.
01:14Accidentally, of course.
01:15Oh, of course.
01:17Haven't told anybody else it's my birthday, have you?
01:19No, not a soul.
01:20Oh, good.
01:22Quick, please.
01:23Teacher, come in.
01:25Ah, good evening.
01:27Ready?
01:27Three, eins, zwei, drei.
01:30Happy birthday to you.
01:33Happy birthday to you.
01:37Happy birthday, dear people.
01:41Happy birthday to you.
01:45Wasn't that nice?
01:49Hadn't told a soul, eh?
01:50Well, I might have mentioned it to one or two people.
01:54Well, thank you all for your good wishes.
01:55You're wanting to show our appreciation.
01:57Well, that's very kind of you.
01:59And we are all buying you a little present.
02:01What?
02:02Yeah, you shouldn't have.
02:03But we already have.
02:07May your shadow never diminish.
02:13Can I open it now?
02:14Yes, please.
02:15It is something for you to be using every day.
02:19Oh, a pen.
02:20Very nice.
02:21It is what you are calling a waterfall pen.
02:24A waterfall pen.
02:27That is correct.
02:29Ah, you mean a fountain pen.
02:31A thousand apologies for my ignorance.
02:34Excuse me.
02:36What for you buy a pen?
02:37For birthday.
02:38I buy the pen.
02:39I'm not knowing what you are buying.
02:41Well, you take your pen and change for something else.
02:43No, it is you who must be changing.
02:46Teacher, proof of my pen.
02:47Ah, you know.
02:49Mr. Brown.
02:50My pen much better.
02:52It write under water.
02:53Oh, I'm sure that's very useful.
02:55My pen write in different colours.
02:57Well, I'll tell you what.
02:57I'll take both pens.
02:58I mean, after all, two pens are better than one.
03:01Excuse.
03:02Please, sir.
03:02Yes, Terry.
03:05Oh.
03:08Three pens, sir.
03:10Better than two.
03:12You haven't.
03:13Yes.
03:14Well, I'll tell you what.
03:15Rather than show any preference,
03:16I think it'd be a good idea
03:18if you all exchanged your pens
03:19for something else.
03:20All right.
03:22But thank you, anyway.
03:24Por favor.
03:25Yes, Juan.
03:28Felicidades en su cumpleaños.
03:30Por favor.
03:30Pardon?
03:32Happy Born Day.
03:34Birthday.
03:34Sí, sí.
03:35Oh, thank you.
03:36I wonder what this is.
03:38Pluma estilográfica.
03:41Yeah?
03:42What's that?
03:42Pen.
03:45Oh, dear.
03:45I changed.
03:47Yeah, I think so.
03:48It's all right.
03:48But thank you.
03:50Happy birthday, professori.
03:51Thank you, Giovanni.
03:53For you.
03:55Well, at least it's not a pen.
03:57It's a salami.
03:58Much garlic.
03:58Very strong.
04:00Yeah, I can smell that.
04:03Quiz, please.
04:04Many happy returnings.
04:06Thank you, Ali.
04:07I'm buying for you nothing at all.
04:09Oh, well, never mind.
04:14But I'm giving you this.
04:15Oh, a card?
04:16Oh, no.
04:17Inside you will be finding a gift voucher from Harrods.
04:20Harrods?
04:21Oh, yes, please.
04:22And you can be buying anything whatsoever you are wishing.
04:25Anything?
04:26Yes.
04:27From Harrods of Nightsbury?
04:28You know, please.
04:29Harrods of Camden.
04:31Abraham had a second-hand shop.
04:33Nothing over one pound.
04:34Well, thank you, Ali.
04:40Yes, Tramilla?
04:44Happy?
04:45Happy, yes.
04:47Yes, yes.
04:48Birthday.
04:49Well done.
04:53Oh.
04:58Very nice.
05:01Holly?
05:03Holly?
05:04Yes.
05:04Holly.
05:06Oh, holy.
05:09Born by Guy.
05:11Guy?
05:12What?
05:12A holy monk?
05:14No.
05:15Guy.
05:18No.
05:21Holy cow.
05:22Oh, I do know.
05:27Now it is my turn to give you something.
05:30Yes, Daniel?
05:32But first, I wish you happy birthday.
05:34As we do in France.
05:35As we do in France.
05:43Quiet, quiet.
05:46Thank you, Daniel.
05:47Oh, and I have something very French.
05:51Oh, thank you.
05:52Oh, eau de toilette.
05:55Oh, eau de toilette.
05:56Merci beaucoup.
05:57Je vous en prie.
05:58It is a pleasure for me to give you something.
06:03Excuse, please.
06:04What is the nature of the gift you are receiving from Daniel?
06:07Eau de toilette.
06:08Eau de toilette.
06:09Toilet water.
06:10You put it on your face.
06:14You are putting water from the toilet on your face?
06:20No, Ali.
06:21It's not that kind of toilet.
06:22It's only good.
06:25May the spirit of universal brotherhood descend upon you.
06:28Well, I'm sure it will.
06:30Book to lead every day.
06:31Oh, I hope it's a good read.
06:33The best.
06:34Thoughts of Chairman Mao.
06:37Very uplifting.
06:39Personary autographed.
06:40By Mao?
06:41By me.
06:46Now is me.
06:47Yes, Anna?
06:49I have made for you ein großer Apfelstrudel.
06:53It's very grosser.
06:55Danke.
06:55Bitte.
06:57Well, thank you all for your generous gifts.
07:01But I really think we ought to get on with the lesson.
07:04Now, this week we're going to look at the vowel sounds, right?
07:09Now, does anybody know what a vowel sound is?
07:12Yes, please.
07:13It is a rumbling tummy.
07:18Well, Ali, vowel, not bowel.
07:20Sorry, please.
07:21Right, well, there are five vowels in the alphabet.
07:24A, E, I, O, and U.
07:27A, E, I, O, U.
07:33Good.
07:34Now, firstly, we'll take the letter A.
07:36Now, this can be pronounced in three different ways.
07:38It can be A, A, or R.
07:42A, A, or R.
07:46Excuse me.
07:47Yes, Max?
07:47I'm not understanding.
07:49How can a A be a R?
07:53It's not the letter R.
07:55It's sometimes pronounced R.
07:58And I am a what language?
08:00It's all right.
08:01I'll give you some examples.
08:02Let's take the word F, A, T.
08:05Now, that has a flat A sound.
08:09Ah.
08:10Ah.
08:11Good.
08:12But if we add an E to the end of fat, then what do we have?
08:17Fatty.
08:21No, Giovanni.
08:23Fate.
08:23Now, does anybody know what the word fate means?
08:27Por favor.
08:27Yes, Juan.
08:29Two fate.
08:31Two fate?
08:32Si, senor.
08:33One right fate.
08:34One left fate.
08:40No, Juan.
08:41Those are feet.
08:42Ah.
08:43Pardon.
08:43Right, moving on to the E.
08:47Now, the letter E is usually pronounced F.
08:49As in bet, set, get.
08:52Get.
08:53There are, of course, exceptions to the rule.
08:55For example, F, E, T, E is also pronounced fate.
09:01Si, senor.
09:02One right fate.
09:03One left fate.
09:06No, Juan.
09:07No?
09:07No.
09:08No.
09:08Our feet, I told you before.
09:10It's all right, it's all right.
09:11Right, moving on to the letter I.
09:14This is usually pronounced I or I.
09:17I.
09:17Good.
09:18Now, can anybody give me an example of the I sound?
09:21I.
09:22Well, how would you pronounce F, I, T?
09:27Fit.
09:27Si, senor.
09:29One right fate.
09:30One left fate.
09:31One, one.
09:33No?
09:34Yeah, imbecile.
09:36Gio imbecile?
09:37Imbecile tu, italiano idiota.
09:39No, la capitone.
09:40Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
09:42Listen, if you want to argue, argue in English.
09:45Go back to Italy, you Italian spaghetti.
09:47Ah, shut up, you big Spanish omelette.
09:52Excuse me, a ladyship wants to see you in the office.
09:55Oh, thank you, Gladys, I'll be in in a moment.
09:56Yes, all right.
09:57Hey, maybe she's going to get you a birthday present.
10:00Ah, yes, and maybe the Pope's getting married.
10:02He is?
10:03I never read that.
10:06No, it was a joke.
10:08Look, I'll be as quick as I can.
10:09Meanwhile, if you'll all turn to page 83 and study the sentences giving examples of the
10:13various vowel sounds, yeah?
10:15And Giovanni, would you take charge of the class while I'm away?
10:17Sure.
10:19Allow me.
10:22Okay, I'm in charge.
10:26Who wants to devine on?
10:31Enter.
10:31You wanted to see me, Miss Courtney?
10:34Yes.
10:35Oh, I understand it's your birthday.
10:37That's correct.
10:38Another milestone?
10:39Personally, I don't believe in celebrating birthdays.
10:42I fail to see how the passing of years can be an occasion for rejoicing.
10:46No, of course, you're right, I suppose.
10:48Now, Mr. Brown, when you commenced teaching here, I said that I would give you a month's
10:52trial.
10:53Yes.
10:54That month is now up, and I feel it only fair to put an end to your worry about the future.
10:59That's very kind of you.
11:00I can assure you, you won't regret it.
11:01I know I won't.
11:03Miss Hardacre will start on Wednesday.
11:05Miss Hardacre?
11:06Yes.
11:07She will be taking over your class.
11:10You remember, I did tell you that I prefer women teachers.
11:13You mean, I've got the push.
11:14Well, let us just say that we no longer require your services.
11:18I feel that Miss Hardacre will be much more suitable.
11:20Yeah, well, in that case, I suggest you get Miss much more suitable Hardacre to take over
11:24tonight, because I'm going home.
11:26You can't just walk out like that.
11:28Oh, yes, I can.
11:28And I won't say it's been a pleasure, because it hasn't.
11:31All I can say is, in India, you'd be sacred.
11:36Ten-a-pee.
11:53Ten-a-pee.
12:00Okay, I stick.
12:04Pontoon, five cards, stick only.
12:06What have you got?
12:08Queen of Hearts, Jock of Spades.
12:11Hey, you should not be playing the cards.
12:13You should be learning the English.
12:15Zig Heil!
12:17It's all right.
12:18You should be improving your mind.
12:20You can improve my mind any time.
12:23How about tonight, huh?
12:25We have the meal, a couple of glasses of vino,
12:27then back to my place to make love.
12:30That is not improving the mind.
12:32No, but it's very good for the body.
12:36Hey, keep this coming.
12:42Right, will you all pay attention, please?
12:44I have something rather important to tell you.
12:46I'm afraid that Miss Courtney has terminated my engagement.
12:49It is a very big surprise to me.
12:50Yeah, well, it was a bit of a shock to me as well.
12:52Oh, we are not knowing that you and Miss Courtney were engaged.
12:57Oh, you don't understand.
12:58I mean to coin a phrase, I've been given the boot.
13:01Si, senor.
13:03One right boot.
13:04One left boot.
13:05Oh, no, Juan.
13:06Look, can't you understand?
13:07I mean I have been fired.
13:08I've been given the bullet.
13:10Ah, Santa Maria.
13:12She tried to shoot you.
13:13No, I have been dismissed.
13:17Dismissed?
13:17Yes.
13:18You are leaving us?
13:19I'm afraid so.
13:20Oh, no.
13:20It's incredible.
13:21It's formidable, enfin.
13:23Why are you leaving?
13:24Well, Miss Courtney doesn't think I'm suitable.
13:27Ah, that's not...
13:28We go speak to her.
13:30I'm afraid that speaking to her won't do any good at all.
13:33Okay.
13:34We twist her arms a little bit.
13:36Yeah.
13:37We tell her, if she not let you stay, we work her over.
13:42Yeah.
13:43We'll do nothing of the sort.
13:44We don't have mafia tactics in this country.
13:46But what is going to happen to us?
13:48Another teacher will be taking over the class, eh?
13:50Miss Hardacre.
13:51I'm already not liking her.
13:54It is not fair, and on your birthday...
13:57Yes, well, as they say in France, c'est la vie.
14:00Well, I've enjoyed meeting you all.
14:01I, uh, wish you all every success with your studies in the future.
14:04Aw.
14:05It's good-bye, Suley.
14:07Aw.
14:07Very sorry to ruse you.
14:09Well.
14:10Jamila?
14:11God-havening.
14:14Anna?
14:14Auf Wiedersehen.
14:17Max?
14:17Goodbye, Mr. Brown.
14:18Thank you, sir.
14:20Taro?
14:23Good luck.
14:25Thank-oh.
14:25Uh, you.
14:27Juan?
14:28Yes, amigo.
14:29Cuide-te.
14:29Taro.
14:32Ranjit?
14:33I'm wishing you all you are wishing yourself.
14:39Giovanni?
14:40It's very sad.
14:42Now, please, Giovanni, you mustn't be upset.
14:44I can't help it.
14:45I can't help you, though.
14:47Yeah, but...
14:47Oh, blimey.
14:49You are starting me off now.
14:51You damn fool.
14:53Come on, Annie.
14:54It's not the end of the world.
14:56Goodbye.
14:57Goodbye.
14:58Danielle?
14:59There will always be a place for you.
15:02Right here.
15:05Very kind of you.
15:06Well, uh, goodbye, everybody.
15:10Goodbye.
15:10Thank you for your, um, presence.
15:12Bye.
15:13And, uh, good luck.
15:15Bye-bye.
15:15Goodbye.
15:16Goodbye.
15:17I thought you'd gone.
15:18Yeah, I was just collecting my things.
15:19Goodbye.
15:20Goodbye.
15:24Now, as you are no doubt aware, Mr. Brown is no longer with us.
15:28Yes.
15:29It is making us very sad.
15:30Yes.
15:31I have telephoned your new teacher, Miss Hardacre, and she will be arriving shortly.
15:35In the meantime, I shall take the class.
15:39Now, then, let's see how you're progressing.
15:42You, with a turban.
15:43What is this?
15:45Pencil.
15:47It is not a pencil.
15:50It's looking like a pencil to me.
15:53Let's try again.
15:54What is this?
15:56A finger.
15:59Didn't Mr. Brown teach you anything?
16:02Yes, please.
16:02He's making us work like the clippers.
16:05Clappers.
16:07Oh, clippers or clappers.
16:09We are working very hard.
16:10Yes.
16:11And we are all very sad he has gone.
16:14Quiet, now.
16:15Please, quiet.
16:17It is really no concern of yours.
16:20I'm sure that you will find Miss Hardacre more than efficient.
16:23And after all, a woman can do everything a man can do.
16:27Not everything.
16:28I was speaking academically.
16:32Excuse me, Miss Courtney.
16:34There's a person out here who wants to see you.
16:37What sort of person?
16:39Well, I'm not sure.
16:41Miss Courtney?
16:42Yes.
16:43Hardacre.
16:44Oh, I thought they were sending me a woman.
16:47I am a woman.
16:50I do beg your pardon.
16:52It must have been that...
16:54Well, perhaps you'd like to come to my office and have a cup of coffee.
16:57No, no.
16:57Time for coffee.
16:58We must get started.
17:00Crack the whip.
17:01Show them who's boss.
17:02Keep them on their toes.
17:04And by the look of them, they need it.
17:06Beautifully put.
17:07But I think we ought to have a little chat first.
17:08Very well.
17:09In the meantime, you can go on studying your books.
17:15Don't talk.
17:17Sit still.
17:18I'll be back immediately.
17:20Oh, blimey.
17:21What a funny woman we are having.
17:24I don't think I'm going to like this new teacher.
17:27I think I go home.
17:30I go home too.
17:32Nein!
17:33What is use of going home?
17:34You cannot learn the English at home.
17:36Maybe I'll find a way.
17:37There is no way.
17:39I am thinking, if you make new teacher go away, perhaps Mr. Brown is coming back.
17:44And how you make new teacher go?
17:47Very easy.
17:52That's no good.
17:53We get blood all over the class.
17:56Much better we push her out of the window.
17:58Ah, it is looking like we are being stuck with her.
18:00They must do something.
18:02It is duty to obey erected authorities.
18:04Not so.
18:05Roles are made to be obeyed.
18:07Not even laws.
18:08It is bad law.
18:10Principles action are unjust.
18:13He is right.
18:14But what can we do?
18:15There is nothing we can do.
18:17Hey, I've got an idea.
18:20What idea?
18:20We have the strike.
18:22Yeah.
18:23Let's all have the strike.
18:25What is the strike?
18:26Does this mean you are going to be fighting?
18:28No, no, no, no.
18:28A strike.
18:29Like the big onions.
18:31What onions?
18:33The trade onions.
18:34I think your strike is not going to be working.
18:41What we are needing is to be revolting.
18:44And I am thinking you are already revolting.
18:47You are asking for a kick up the floor.
18:49Come on, silly.
18:51Let's not quarrel amongst ourselves.
18:53Sir, I know.
18:55Why not we all have a sit-out?
18:57You mean a sit-in.
18:59Much better adopt policy of non-coopulation.
19:03Por favor.
19:03If a new teacher arrives in classroom, we no copulate.
19:07No as classroom resistance.
19:10For once, Japan, China, in agreement.
19:15We no speak to new teacher.
19:20I like it.
19:21We keep the trap shut.
19:24Silencio, understand?
19:25Si.
19:26Not speaking.
19:27Not a word.
19:29Stum.
19:30That's right.
19:31Hey, a signora she comes.
19:36I am your new teacher.
19:39And my name is Miss Hardacre.
19:42And I have come to drum English into your respective alien heads.
19:47And you have come here to learn.
19:48Understand?
19:50Good.
19:51Now, I have to take your names.
19:55You.
19:56What's your name?
20:00Are you deaf?
20:03You?
20:06Your name?
20:12You.
20:13Name.
20:18I see.
20:18Well, I don't know how long you think you're going to keep this up.
20:22And I can assure you, it won't make any difference to me.
20:25I'm just going to sit here until somebody speaks.
20:30What?
20:31Don't go.
20:32You have squashed my apple strudel.
20:34I think I've got it off now.
20:40Well, I'll be sending you the bill, of course.
20:41I thought you might.
20:43Well, I wouldn't mind that coffee now.
20:44I'm so sorry.
20:45I've drunk it all.
20:46But you'll find the tea room down the corridor.
20:47Tea room?
20:49Tea room?
20:49What?
20:50You don't expect me to queue up with all those students.
20:53Oh, no, no.
20:54While I'm teaching here, I'll take my coffee in your office.
20:57Black, no sugar.
20:58Now, while I'm here, I think I'll have a look at your prospectus.
21:03The little I've seen, you could do with a great deal of reorganization.
21:16Who is it?
21:17It's me, Gladys, with your coffee and biscuits.
21:20Right, come in.
21:23Do you look, Harris?
21:24I am Harris.
21:25Well, I suppose it's that new teacher, isn't it?
21:29Yes.
21:30The foreign students haven't spoken a word since Mr. Brown left,
21:33with the result that Miss Hardacre is spending her time reorganizing the entire school.
21:38She's already reduced two of the other teachers to tears,
21:41and she's caused the caretaker to hand in his notice.
21:44It's only a matter of time before she takes over my job.
21:47Well, why don't you get rid of her and ask Mr. Brown to come back?
21:50I can't do that.
21:52Why not?
21:52Well, not after having dismissed him.
21:54I have my pride.
21:57Mind you, if he asked if he could come back,
22:01I'd be only too happy to accept.
22:04Ask to come back?
22:05But we miss you.
22:08Look, when I got your message to call here,
22:10I thought it was for something serious.
22:11But we are serious.
22:13Yes.
22:13If you ask Miss Courtney, she's going to have you back.
22:16Yes.
22:16No, I'm sorry, it's out of the question.
22:18If she wants me back, she'll have to ask me.
22:20Now, if that's all there is, I'll say goodbye.
22:21Oh, Mr. Brown, please.
22:22Hey, Mr. Brown!
22:25Oh, I was just seeing something.
22:27I was just going to look in on your old class.
22:35I was wondering...
22:36Sorry.
22:36After you.
22:37No, no, no, after you.
22:38Well, I was just wondering whether you'd consider coming back.
22:42I was just going to ask you if there was any chance of coming back.
22:44That's settled, then.
22:46I thought you preferred women teachers.
22:48I do.
22:50But Miss Hardacre was more masculine than most men I've met.
22:55Well, do you want your job back, or don't you?
22:57Oh, yes.
22:58Good.
22:58You've got it.
22:59We win!
23:00We win!
23:01Mr. Brown is coming back!
23:02Yay!
23:03Well, if you'll all sit down, we've got rather a lot of cashing up to do, I'm afraid.
23:13Excuse, please.
23:15Before we are doing that, we are all changing your birthday pens and buying you other gifts
23:20from Arads.
23:21The Camden Arads, you mean?
23:23Oh, yes, indeed.
23:24Here you are.
23:25Oh, thank you.
23:27A wallet.
23:27Hey, a wallet?
23:29I've got a wallet.
23:29Hey, I've got a wallet.
23:31Hey, I've got a wallet.
24:01Hey, I've got a wallet.
24:03Hey, I've got a wallet.
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