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Episode 43. FUCK MARRY KILL
Cody Ko's old vlogs
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3 days ago
Category
😹
Fun
Transcript
Display full video transcript
00:00
Two words, add, sense, money, bitch.
00:03
That's what it's about, baby.
00:04
Do we have money in the couple?
00:06
Oh, do we?
00:07
Oh, do we?
00:08
What is this?
00:08
I don't give a fuck about that.
00:09
Actually, could you get that?
00:10
I think I dropped it down there.
00:15
Our toilet broke, and Marcus left a note.
00:19
But this is the most Marcus note of all time.
00:23
Try not to use.
00:25
Any other person would write, do not use.
00:27
Marcus writes, could you just go ahead and try your best not to use?
00:30
This thing so much.
00:31
Sweet GTR, man.
00:33
The car is so fucking dumb.
00:34
Who would drive that?
00:36
YouTube stars.
00:37
Every single YouTube star has that car.
00:39
Not me.
00:40
This dude's got, like, an insane necktie.
00:43
Yeah, I can't look at him because I want to laugh.
00:46
I can't look at it because I feel like I'm going to get stabbed.
00:49
Yeah, let's just describe him.
00:50
All right, first of all, he looks like he's lost hair from the stress of killing so many people.
00:55
All right, if that gives you an image.
00:57
His beard looks earned, not grown, earned, right?
01:02
And he's done some shit.
01:03
He's killed a bear.
01:05
He's done a lot of shit.
01:07
I wonder what this dude's career is.
01:09
He owns like a chain of karate stores.
01:12
Yeah.
01:12
Or karate dojos.
01:14
Or if it's something really, like, lame, like, just, like, handmade beads on, like, an Etsy store.
01:22
And he just, like, cashes out on Coachella every year.
01:25
I think I'll find a name for a bead company.
01:26
I got what you bead.
01:34
Yep, I'm going to let you have the end.
01:36
Let you have that one.
01:38
We got Spike a little brother.
01:40
Oh, there it is.
01:42
It keeps focusing on Devin's bad body.
01:44
I want it to focus on this.
01:45
Come do that.
01:46
Can't do that.
01:48
No, it's still bad.
01:49
It's like, no, it's not as bad.
01:50
There we go.
01:52
There we go.
01:52
Now we're in business, baby.
01:54
Spike's little baby.
01:55
Aborted before I ever had a chance to grow up.
01:58
You said Spike's aborted baby?
02:00
What should we name it?
02:03
Spike 2.
02:04
This time.
02:05
This time it's...
02:06
This time it's serious.
02:08
This time it's serious.
02:11
That's Marcus writing a movie title.
02:13
This time I mean business.
02:16
Spike 2.
02:17
This time I'm sending a sternly worded email.
02:19
And you're on the air.
02:22
Fuck.
02:23
Just anything.
02:24
How are you feeling tonight?
02:24
We should do...
02:25
Feeling great.
02:26
Feeling great?
02:26
All right, that's really good.
02:27
Wait.
02:28
Marcus is just as bad of a host as she is a guest.
02:31
I'm terrible.
02:32
All right, good.
02:33
Feeling great.
02:34
Good.
02:35
This is a dog microphone.
02:37
So you've got to switch it to girl mode.
02:39
Who in this room would you hook up with if you had the chance?
02:43
Who?
02:43
If you had to kill somebody in this room, who would you kill?
02:45
Who?
02:46
Oh!
02:47
Wait, would you kill him and then hook up with him?
02:48
Mm-hmm.
02:49
Fuck, marry, kill.
02:50
Cody right now, Cody one year ago, Cody two years ago.
02:54
Damn it.
02:54
All right, I'm going to kill Cody now.
02:55
Okay.
02:56
That's like a serious question.
02:56
I'll marry Cody like three years ago, like when he wasn't like well-known.
02:59
Nice.
02:59
And then I'll probably fuck him like the two year ago, Cody.
03:02
Right.
03:02
Okay, okay.
03:03
Fair enough.
03:04
Old you just got fucking laid, dude.
03:06
Shout out two years ago, me.
03:08
This chick is straight up just brushing her teeth.
03:12
Slowly but surely, too.
03:13
Yeah, she's getting...
03:14
Get that tartar.
03:15
Girl, you get it.
03:17
Yeah.
03:18
Oh, oh.
03:18
Don't make it for more.
03:20
Nothing ties together the morning commute, like just brushing the pearly way.
03:25
Oh, if only there was more hours in the day, huh?
03:27
I wish I had time to brush my teeth for two seconds before I leave the fucking house.
03:31
Oh, she's looking over here.
03:31
Fuck.
03:32
Oh, fuck.
03:32
I'm kidding.
03:34
What do I do?
03:36
Freestyle right now.
03:37
Spit it.
03:37
My dad hates me.
03:43
That's it?
03:43
That's your whole freestyle?
03:44
Oh, wow.
03:45
Okay.
03:45
Oh, boy.
03:47
Man, there's a circle of dude rapping.
03:49
Everyone's like,
03:50
Go on the motherfucking.
03:51
Hard as hell.
03:52
The kid comes out like,
03:53
Yo, my dad hates me.
03:54
He said,
03:55
If I come home right now,
03:56
He gonna beat my ass.
03:57
So, I gotta hang out
03:58
And just stay on the street and shit.
04:00
Everyone's like,
04:01
Oh!
04:03
Yo, that was hot.
04:04
I can't go home for real.
04:07
Oh, yeah.
04:07
It's fitting.
04:08
Keep going.
04:10
That's my ass.
04:11
That boss, he was like,
04:12
Yo, I can't go home right now.
04:13
My parents don't love music.
04:15
Yo, that was dope.
04:17
You should expand on that.
04:20
So, what's up, man?
04:20
What do you live?
04:21
You live with your mom?
04:22
I just said.
04:24
I can't go home.
04:24
We can't back at it.
04:25
We can't.
04:26
We just can't stop spitting.
04:28
Uh-oh, bitch.
04:29
Looks like we got a shipment of shoes in the mail.
04:32
Looks like I will be getting bullied.
04:34
No longer.
04:35
It's really hard to do an unboxing
04:36
with one hand.
04:38
First pair of shoes.
04:40
Let's see what we got.
04:41
Okay.
04:42
Oh, damn.
04:44
These are hot.
04:45
These are like the George Washington twos.
04:49
Pair number two.
04:50
Oh, shit.
04:51
Okay.
04:53
We got the gray desert boots.
04:54
Yeah, I'm feeling these, too.
04:56
Very versatile shoe right here.
04:58
You can wear these with pants.
05:00
And that's pretty much it.
05:02
Let's see what we got.
05:04
Third.
05:04
I just want to hit the country club.
05:06
Am I right?
05:06
Fucking play some tennis with my friend Price with these.
05:10
What do we got here?
05:11
Okay.
05:12
These are kind of like...
05:13
Like I ride a fixie and own a typewriter.
05:17
I might wear these today.
05:19
See what Noelle has to say about these fucking things.
05:21
All right.
05:21
That's it for today's video.
05:22
Shout out to Jessica.
05:23
See you on Monday.
05:24
Peace.
05:25
Four days later.
05:29
Fuck you, Cody.
05:30
I put it in.
05:30
I put it in.
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