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00:00I've had to turn to drugs to cope without you
00:06Not funny can't believe you got me up early for this
00:12Just a little bit dirty. Oh, just just a little bit more
00:25Keep pushing
00:30One more than my partner
00:32Look, look at him
00:34He's my favourite boy
00:36Congratulations
00:42Son, son
00:44Congratulations
00:52Fancy some FIFA after school later
00:54I just need to hide a few things first so you can't steal them
00:56Lads, I already explained what happened
00:58I'm joking
01:00Can you bring one of your controllers too though? I've lost one of mine
01:02That's because I stole them from your room
01:04Can't be in
01:06LAUGHTER
01:08It's okay.
01:19Didn't you pay for his lunches last week?
01:21We're still having problems getting the right ID for a bank account.
01:24I don't want to scare you, Gail, but I read about things like this all the time.
01:29Foreign men scamming women for money.
01:31What are you around about, Gail?
01:32Like my nan.
01:34I met that as Arma fella from Gambia on Facebook.
01:36He moved, yeah, they got married, and then he divorced her so he could take half of her life savings.
01:42I mean, no offence to your nan, Gail, but she was like 74 and he was 25.
01:46It's pretty obvious he wasn't with her for a saggy tits and pancake ass.
01:50May she rest in peace.
01:52Are you sure you can trust him?
01:53You're already glad you're about speaking English.
01:55Oh my god, Gail, are you jealous?
01:57No.
01:58You were the one saying it was weird you'd have him be into his house yet.
02:00Yeah, well, yesterday he had me waiting on the corner and I could definitely just about work out which house was his.
02:05So there.
02:06Why is he making your weight on the corner?
02:08Well, you all want to talk.
02:09Chasing after that posh bellend.
02:11Sif.
02:12I mean, it's getting a bit embarrassing, to be honest.
02:15He's not interested in girls like you, but he doesn't want to tell you because he doesn't want to look like a snob.
02:21Go away, you divvy.
02:22I'm sorry, what are you?
02:23I'm going.
02:23You see, I've actually got a meeting with Netflix, yeah.
02:27They want to do a documentary on Zia.
02:29The Libyan swindler.
02:31About how he manipulated a stupid, naive girl from Liverpool for a fiver.
02:36I don't like how so I feel.
02:41Because each day for me, it all feels so sorry.
02:48Oh, nice and a spicy just edgy for me.
02:54Oh, I did get a ribbon saucy type of guy.
02:56It's okay.
02:57They're both too absolute heavyweight.
02:58My mum's just emailed me.
03:02Oh, no.
03:03Have you lost the plot because I haven't been around to keep you sane?
03:06Before she died, she must have scheduled emails for me.
03:09Does it say?
03:11Hiya, son.
03:13Cancer must have got me by now.
03:15Or did it?
03:16Maybe I faked my death and now live off the grid in Alaska with an impressive beard.
03:22She had a weird sense of humour.
03:24I love it, lad.
03:25I know your dad's birthday was always a tough day for us.
03:28So I want to remind you of the poem we wrote for him.
03:34The image is fading of what it was like
03:38when you would hold me incredibly tight.
03:45But I'll never forget the feeling it gave.
03:49The feeling that everything was alright.
03:58I'll keep going like you're by my side.
04:02So when I see you again and you ask me how it went,
04:05I'll tell you it was fun and I achieved everything I dreamt.
04:09Love you, my son.
04:11Hope those words are coming through.
04:12Thanks for taking over.
04:22But did you have to do it with a mouth full of knick-knacks?
04:24Do you know where your dad lives?
04:31I don't know.
04:32Never met him.
04:34Do you want to meet him?
04:36No, I'm not asked.
04:39I did as a kid, though.
04:41You can still make some memories with your dad.
04:44I'd do anything to make some more with mine.
04:48Even for one day, one hour, one minute.
04:54I wonder what your dad's favourite knick-knacks were.
04:57I have a fading memory of him eating rib and saucy.
05:04Come on, lad.
05:08Where the fuck's all this coming from, Rhys?
05:11Do you think I've done a bad job or something?
05:12No, Mum, you've been amazing.
05:14It's just, I was speaking to Christopher
05:16and he wrote this poem to his dad before he died
05:18and it just gets you thinking, doesn't it?
05:21So what?
05:22We can write a poem to your dad if you want.
05:24But, er, I know this poem's come out of the blue,
05:28but we've never needed yet, so fuck you!
05:31See? Easy.
05:33Beautiful, Mum.
05:34It's just ever since you were born,
05:35all I've ever done is try and make you happy
05:37and now I feel like you're telling me I haven't done enough.
05:39No, Mum, that's not true at all.
05:41You have been enough.
05:43I am happy.
05:45I am.
05:47Sorry, Mum.
05:48I didn't mean to upset you.
05:50Are you sure you're ready for this, Rhys?
05:56Yeah, Mum.
05:57I suppose I've always just pushed it away,
06:00but it's always been in the back and the head.
06:03Like, who is this fella who's 50% of who I am?
06:07OK.
06:10Well, I'm not ready.
06:12But if you are,
06:14then I suppose I need to be.
06:15Your dad's name's Darren.
06:23Disneyland Darren.
06:24What?
06:24I know.
06:26Look, his mate said it was because he was always going on about this trip
06:29he took to Disneyland.
06:30Even when we were having sex,
06:32he kept going on about how it reminded him of going down Splash Mountain.
06:36Mum!
06:36I know, I know.
06:38It was a one-night stand, son.
06:41After I found out I was pregnant,
06:43I tried to find him.
06:44I swear I did, but
06:46he's not from round here.
06:50He's from Manchester.
06:52I'm sorry, I know, I know!
06:55I tried my best to find him.
06:57So he doesn't know about me?
06:59No, son.
07:01Once I realised I couldn't find him,
07:04I knew where to just focus on you.
07:07And the day you were born.
07:09I promised you that I'd be twice the mum that you deserve to make up for the fact that you never had to do that.
07:18I love you too.
07:19I love you too.
07:20Oh, I love you so much.
07:24Oh, I love you too.
07:25Oh, I love you so much.
07:26My little garbage, I tell you.
07:27I don't love you too.
07:28I don't love you too.
07:29Oh, I love you too.
07:30Oh, I love you too.
07:31Oh, I love you so much.
07:32My little garbage, I tell you.
07:34I don't love you too.
07:35I don't love you too.
07:36I don't love you too.
07:37I don't love you too.
07:38I don't love you too.
07:39I don't love you too.
07:40I don't love you too.
07:41I don't love you too.
07:42I don't love you too.
07:43I don't love you too.
07:44Hiya.
07:45What are you up to?
07:46Oh, I'm working on a history project.
07:47With Ruby.
07:48Hey, did you hear about me dad's echo coming in at the weekend?
07:51He won two thousand quid.
07:53It's crazy, huh?
07:54Why'd you pick Ruby to be your partner?
07:56She sits behind me in the class.
08:00Oh my God.
08:01As he asked you to marry him.
08:02You what?
08:03You haven't given him your bank details, have you?
08:05Oh, I'm sure she'll use the winners to buy your lunches and the PS5 you want.
08:09Oh, and your dad defo cut her one more.
08:12He cashed out the pussy.
08:14He choked.
08:15PSG.
08:16Where Hob's going to score?
08:17He's all yours.
08:18That'll make it.
08:19Oh, nice one for finding that.
08:21The Disneyland discussion forums.
08:22You're a genius.
08:24This is it.
08:26Well, let's not judge him on where he lives.
08:29He can still be a really respectable guy.
08:31Which one of you is Rhys?
08:32Which one of you is Rhys?
08:36Which one of you is Rhys?
08:38And the cats and the cradles
08:52You know we'll have a good time then
09:08Hey do you know what's strange son?
09:10I've been having a lot of thoughts about your mum recently
09:13So it's like a higher power is trying to tell me something
09:16A lot of those thoughts was reaching into the wank bank but still
09:20I know it don't look like much son but
09:22I've not been able to work because of my disability
09:25I have a severely stubbed toe and the pain
09:29Radiates through my legs
09:32But don't worry because I've got big big money coming my way
09:35Oh yeah? Oh yeah!
09:38I'm always applying to Pointless, Millionaire
09:41It's only a matter of time before I win big
09:44I made it onto the chase once son
09:46Really? How'd you do?
09:47Well I took the lower offer and I still got knocked out
09:49But I was very unlucky with the questions
09:51Currently doing another application for Pointless now as we speak
09:54Oh my god!
09:56We should do one together as a father and son team!
09:59I'm all hate to be honest
10:01I'm all hate to be honest
10:03Fuckin' hell!
10:04Fuckin' hell!
10:05Me old son fuckin' hates me!
10:08He doesn't hate you
10:09He just needs a bit of time to get to know you
10:11Oh yeah!
10:12Oh yeah!
10:13Time!
10:14And time is what we have got son!
10:16Nothing but time!
10:17And I'm gonna spend every single day making up for the time that we've lost
10:22Every. Single. Day. Just you. And me. Together.
10:23I'm gonna get off. It was nice to meet you
10:25Oh what, really? Hey, do you wanna go go-kind tomorrow? I could say you're swimming!
10:29Wait, that's it? You're going?
10:30You see the statesman? 16 years for him? I'd rather not know where I came from if I came from that
10:35I'd rather not know where I came from if I came from that
10:36I need the toilet before we go
10:51Hurry up. If he asks me to play catch or something
10:52Hey Son! Do you know how to ride a bike! I could teach ya!
10:55I'll wait outside ladle
10:58Do you want to come to my mum's birthday meal tomorrow night?
11:14She really wants to meet you.
11:16We've got an extra seat at the table.
11:17Is it certain someone isn't invited?
11:20Last night I was looking online and I found a local support group
11:23for family members of MS sufferers.
11:26There's one tomorrow night, actually.
11:27What an incredibly thoughtful gesture, Christopher.
11:30It's great that me mental wellbeing is clearly your top priority.
11:33Great. So you'll meet my parents and then after I'll go to your house and meet yours.
11:37It'll be great.
11:38Um, sure.
11:40Friday night at Siad's house. No waiting on the corner.
11:43I know it sounds daunting, but I could come with you if that's OK.
11:47Thanks, Christopher. I'd love to go there tomorrow. Together.
11:50So actually, me and Louise, I finally opened up that bank account,
11:54so I have the money that I owe you for the lunches.
11:57Siad, you don't have to give me the money back.
12:00But what a wonderful sign of trust that you have done.
12:02It's not time to make a change.
12:14Just relax and take it easy.
12:18You are young.
12:19It's not your fault.
12:21What the fuck's that?
12:21There's something you need to know.
12:24What are you doing here?
12:26God, is that Russell's dad?
12:27No, no, no.
12:28Check his autograph.
12:29It's a song about a father offering up his life experience for his son.
12:34It's what I'm going to do for you.
12:36Just get out, will you?
12:39I've got a surprise for you.
12:42The fringe on it.
12:45Got one for you and all.
12:46Don't worry about it.
13:08So what?
13:10It changes nothing.
13:11Chin up, lad.
13:13I can't do it.
13:17That's your dad, isn't it?
13:19Your life is ruined.
13:21I'm questioning your whole identity.
13:22Shut up.
13:23Rhys, Disneyland Darren's not your dad.
13:25If only, lad.
13:27When we were there, I went to the bathroom so I could get a hair sample.
13:30I ordered a DNA test and I just got the results.
13:32He's not your dad.
13:33Are you serious?
13:34He's not my dad.
13:36He did that for me, lad.
13:38Nice one.
13:39But how did you get my hair sample, though?
13:43My bin still had your pubes in it from when you thought it was funny to keep leaving them on my pillow.
13:50I can't believe it, son.
13:53I was convinced he was your dad, cos...
13:55Cos what, Mum?
13:56Cos when I slept with someone else the next weekend, we used protection.
14:00Oh, my God.
14:01Don't look at me like that.
14:03Me Nana just died.
14:04I was bladded for three months.
14:06Out looking for distractions.
14:08Which is why I admire you so much.
14:11Just processing all your emotions.
14:12So where was he, then?
14:14And please don't say Universal Studios, Steve.
14:17I didn't get his real name.
14:19He went by Mr 997.
14:22I met him in the farmer's arms.
14:24Afterwards, I moved away.
14:26I didn't get his phone number and...
14:28I never saw him again.
14:30I'm sorry, son.
14:31Fuckin' hell!
14:38Fuckin' hell!
14:39Even DNA fuckin' hates me!
14:42Absolutely devastated, son.
14:46Bought this with me so we could build it today.
14:48Never gonna get the chance now, am I?
14:50You know, I bet your dad's that bean-head fella, the lucky bastard!
14:54What fella?
14:55Mr 997.
14:56Well, the next weekend I went back to your mum's house with some flowers, cos...
15:02I was smitten, lads.
15:04Anyway, I rang the doorbell and there was no answer.
15:07So then I looked through the window, and that's when I see this hook-nosed fella with a massive bean-head shagging your mum on the couch.
15:13It was gutty!
15:14You know, I saw him years later.
15:16I was in Liverpool and I saw his face on a poster.
15:19I was giving a talk on one of his books.
15:21I tell you what, lads.
15:22You never forget a cunt face.
15:24He's a writer?
15:25Do you remember the name of the book?
15:26No!
15:27I smashed up my tit!
15:29But I think it was something weird about looking through doors or windows, because I remember thinking...
15:36Has he written a book all these years later?
15:39About me seeing his cunt face?
15:40When I think about what you've become
15:45I feel sorry for your mum
15:48You say we're all having fun
15:52Do you know you're the only one
15:56When the lights go down, I'm supposed to go down
15:59I know it's time to go
16:02When the radio plays on the static stage
16:06I know it's time to go
16:09I was giving a talk on one of his books
16:12I think it was something weird about looking through doors or windows
16:16Has he written a book all these years later?
16:18About me seeing his cunt face?
16:19Do you remember the name of the book?
16:21No!
16:21I smashed up my tit!
16:22Huck nose fella with a massive beaming
16:24Shagging your mum on the couch
16:26Beaming!
16:27You never forget a cunt face
16:28The lucky bastard
16:30You never forget
16:31Mr. 997
16:36I filed his address
16:37Oh my god
16:40Look at this place
16:41I just want to say thanks for all your help
16:45And you know what you said about going down to Surrey
16:47See your dad's grave
16:48I'm coming with you
16:50We'll make a day out of it
16:53Pull some posh bits
16:54Yeah, let's do it
16:57Look at the size of this place
17:01You want me, Dot?
17:27Look at his awards
17:28That was my first ever published book
17:32It's a research study into NDEs
17:35Near-death experiences
17:36Common, aren't they?
17:38Like, 20% of people who come close to death have them
17:41That's exactly right
17:43People don't realise how common they are
17:45And please
17:47Help yourself to caramel hobnobs
17:49It's my favourite biscuit to dunk
17:50The caramel acts as a strength
17:52And so it doesn't break
17:53Ensuring a sufficiently saturated biscuit
17:57God, that's extraordinary
18:02What's he doing here?
18:04It's extraordinary
18:04Fuck off
18:05Fuck off
18:06So
18:06How's your mother?
18:09Yeah, she's good, yeah
18:09She's still debating
18:11What do you mean, debating?
18:12She was captain of the opposing debate team
18:14That's how we met
18:15Camilla's arguments to why water-heavy agricultural system
18:18Should be illegal
18:18Really blew me away
18:20Camilla?
18:21No!
18:22We're talking about Jodie, don't you remember?
18:24Who are you?
18:25You were shagging Jodie from behind
18:27And I was in the window when I saw you come
18:29And what is it about us and windows, eh?
18:31But that's it again
18:32So you're not Camilla's boy?
18:33Hey, did you and Jodie ever do that position
18:36Where she put a leg like that?
18:37What do you want, will you?
18:39Right
18:39You're sick
18:40Get out
18:41Wait, so you didn't sleep with Jodie 17 years ago?
18:44You met her at the Farmer's Arms pub?
18:45No
18:45I don't know any Jodie
18:47Get out before I call the police
18:49Come on, get out, move
18:50Just wait, hang on
18:51Your angry face looks like your gun face, to be honest
18:55The fear, yeah?
18:57Get off my property
18:58No, no, he didn't mean to
18:59Get out
19:01What are you doing here?
19:05I've been following you, son
19:06It's my duty to look out for you
19:09Guardian
19:11Protector
19:12Father
19:13You're not me dad
19:14Sorry, it's still really tough to wear
19:20And that's obviously not the feather, is it?
19:23Do you know, for a second
19:24I thought I'd find the reason why I've always felt like the black sheep in me family
19:28I finally felt a sense of belonging
19:32But it wasn't real
19:35Just don't embarrass me, okay?
19:42When do I ever embarrass you, love?
19:44Aye
19:44I'm singing in the rain
19:47Hello
19:47Just singing in the rain
19:50I'm only joking with you
19:54Oh, it'll be really nice to meet him
19:56Seems all right
19:57But I shouldn't know that
19:59Aye
20:00Why did I fall, fall into your arms
20:05Will we ever be like the way we used to be
20:10Or have we lost ourselves
20:12Thought I know you
20:15Keep lying, cheating, prick
20:17Milouis
20:19Milouis
20:20Please, Habib, wait, wait
20:22Milouis
20:23Wait, Habib, please, please
20:26Please, I'm not cheating on you, okay?
20:28She's from another Libyan family
20:29And my mum and uncle wanted me to meet her
20:31Well, why?
20:32You're coming out with me?
20:35They're scared I'm going to lose my culture
20:36And forget my heritage
20:37That's why you didn't want me coming round to your house
20:40They don't want you to be with me
20:42I don't know what I'm supposed to do
20:45Just talk to them
20:47Just tell them how you feel about me
20:48I've tried
20:49Wallahi, I've tried
20:50Do you like this girl?
20:53How could I like her when I'm in love with you?
20:55But they're my family
20:59And they sacrificed so much for me to be here
21:01I'm sorry
21:04I can't
21:06Are you sure this is the place?
21:16I know it was 17 years ago
21:17But maybe someone at the Farmer's Arms will recognise it
21:19What are you used to doing here?
21:22Christopher text us telling us to come to the Farmer's Arms
21:25To ask around about Mr 997
21:26But as soon as we got here
21:28Some bloke accused me of being Trevor
21:31That broke up his marriage
21:33You what?
21:34Weird
21:34This other fella
21:35He's made me bite meat
21:37Oh, lad, that stinks
21:40And they're not approaching normal people
21:41One bit
21:42If I was just in the cubicle next to me
21:44And slid on the door
21:44Look, you'd either find them or you don't
21:48But we'll always have each other, okay?
21:51Now, I know you didn't like it
21:53When Disneyland Darren's ever needed you
21:55So I'm not gonna do that
21:56I just
21:56I want you to know you're so special
21:59Rhys
22:00To ignite that light
22:03Let it shine
22:05Just own the night
22:10Like the fall down
22:12What are you doing?
22:13You're off your head, you know
22:14Baby, you're a fire
22:15You work, yes, kid
22:18Come, I'll let you come
22:19Mum
22:20I've got to go
22:21I'll text you later
22:22And I love you
22:23You followed us, yeah?
22:27You're all my dad
22:27I knew it
22:28But why did you lie?
22:30I've got no idea what you were chatting, lad
22:32But if you keep staring
22:32The biggest one's getting chingy with me
22:34Eh?
22:35Eh?
22:36Martin didn't have a tattoo
22:37I think you think I'm Martin
22:40No, no, no, I'm Alan
22:42It's a twin
22:43But they call me Mr 997
22:45Cos I got the highest score on the boxing machine in this place
22:4720 years and the record still stands
22:49Shhh
22:50These new boxing machines don't count, lad
22:54Proper jack
22:55Scoring a thousand on them is like scoring 600 in my day of the game's gone, lad
22:59Do you remember a Jodie?
23:01You met her at this pub, like, 17 years ago?
23:04Jodie, Jodie
23:04Bloody hell, yeah
23:07Jodie?
23:09Fuck, that's a blast from the past, that, lads
23:11This is Rhys, Jodie's son
23:13Rhys
23:14We thought Martin was his dad, but
23:16You're his dad
23:18Are you having me on, fella?
23:28You all right, boy?
23:32Let's get a look at you, then
23:33Eh?
23:34Eh?
23:36Yeah, you know what I say, now
23:37You've got them boxer's arms, like me
23:38Let's test your jaw, though
23:40See if you've got mine
23:40Come on, mate
23:42Well, you've got that boring socks I wear to your dad, eh?
23:45Eh?
23:46Got a proper snows on you there, lad
23:48That's not from me
23:48But if you've got a big dick
23:50That is
23:51Know what I mean?
23:53Hey, fellas
23:54This is Rhys
23:55Me son
23:56Go ahead
23:57Go on, say something
24:00He's too happy he doesn't know what to say
24:02Soppy little blurt
24:03Come on
24:04He's one of our own
24:06He's one of our own
24:08Fuck
24:09Rhys, Toppy
24:10He's one of our own
24:12He's one of our own
24:14He's one of our own
24:17Rhys will bring
24:18He's one of our own
24:20Not an easy thing to choose
24:27He's one of our own
24:28Sorry, something's come up
24:32Are you at a party?
24:37Is that Mel?
24:38Are you with them, huh?
24:39Yeah, but
24:40My Luisa's right about you
24:41Why didn't you just tell me
24:42If you weren't interested
24:43You snob
24:44You alright?
25:02My mind's late to rest
25:05I don't know
25:06Where's the odds?
25:12I don't know
25:13Oh my God, that's Mr Dunn
25:21Holding the door open for her
25:25Because you think she's weak and incompetent, sir
25:28Is she allowed her own money, sir?
25:30Let her out the cage for tonight, did you?
25:33Sir?
25:34I did, yeah
25:35I should be back in by nine
25:37She was outside school
25:39So I don't have to take this shit, yeah?
25:43Boom
25:43Look, I should have listened to you long off me, girl
25:52Instead of just getting pissed off
25:54Because I was worried what you were saying might be true
25:56I would say the same
25:57I should know you've always got me back
26:00I don't think I'll ever meet anyone
26:02Who I'll have more of a laugh with than you
26:04Same here, girl
26:06We are going to smash the rest of this year
26:09Love you, girl
26:11He's not me, you're the one
26:14This is where you belong
26:16Alan's kid is over, girl
26:19He's gone
26:21Looking back home when we first met
26:26I cannot escape and I cannot forget
26:31Baby, you're the one
26:34You still turn me on
26:37You can make me whole again
26:40So now I'll have to wait
26:47But baby, to change your mind
26:50You can make me whole again
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