- 2 days ago
QI XL S23E06 - Wooing
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00:00Music
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00:32Good evening and welcome to QI
00:35Where tonight we've gone a bit woo
00:38Because it's all about wooing
00:40Let's meet our star-crossed lovers
00:42The love lawn, Rosie Jones
00:44The love sick, Maisie Adam
00:50The love struck, Larry Dean
00:56And your lover duck
01:00It's Alan Davis
01:02And in case their wooing goes well
01:08Here are their wedding marches
01:10Rosie goes
01:12Music
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01:28Is that going to turn you on?
01:30No, I think by the time you're getting married that's all behind you
01:34Larry goes
01:36Music
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01:40And Alan goes
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02:16I know. I know.
02:20I'm beautiful and funny and clever and very rich.
02:30So am I using KY as a dating service?
02:39Damn, I'm very single. As I've said, extremely rich.
02:48Hold me.
02:56Are you going to woo-woo?
02:57I don't think so, to be fair.
02:59I always get told advice from people of what to do.
03:02Like, negging is the one, apparently.
03:04What?
03:05So, basically, negging is when somebody will pick on the insecurities
03:10of another person and it makes them doubt themselves
03:13and it makes them determined to try and please them.
03:16It's not a nice thing to do, but 95% of the time,
03:19it works when they do it to me.
03:23You're just negging, isn't it? Negging, yeah.
03:25It's just what you mean to people, isn't it?
03:27I've just got visions of you being bullied at school and you're going,
03:30you flirt.
03:33As they push you against the lockers for your lunch money,
03:35you're going, I think there's a vibe.
03:38So, the word that you just used is the traditional way in which
03:41wooing begins.
03:42Bullying.
03:47No, it's flirting.
03:49Flirting.
03:50Flirting is the traditional way of beginning.
03:52So, what is the first rule of anti-flirt club?
03:57Oh, isn't it?
03:59Don't talk about anti-flirt club.
04:03What do we think, an anti-flirt club?
04:05It was a genuine thing.
04:06It was in Washington DC.
04:07We're going back a bit now.
04:09No winking?
04:10Uh...
04:11Winking.
04:12Winking!
04:13No winking?
04:14Oh, thank God.
04:16OK.
04:17So, 1923 a woman called Alice Riley, she set up an anti-flirt club in Washington DC.
04:23And it's partly to do with the internet that was a huge deal.
04:25So, it was a genuine thing.
04:28And it was a genuine thing.
04:29It was an anti-flirt club.
04:30It was a genuine thing.
04:31It was in Washington DC.
04:32We're going back a bit now.
04:33No winking?
04:34Er...
04:35Winking!
04:36Winking.
04:37It's partly to do with the increase in popularity of cars, right?
04:41So cars are becoming quite the thing and men are doing drive-by flirting
04:45Drive-by flirting?
04:47Drive-by flirting or auto-invitation
04:52I know and so there were a lot of women and young girls who were embarrassed by men kind of cat calling to them from the windows
04:58Or offering them a lift and so on the first rule of the anti-flirt club was don't flirt those who flirt in haste often repent in leisure
05:07There are all sorts of things don't use your eyes for ogling I quite like they were made for worthier purposes
05:13Which is all going basically means kind of staring at somebody to ogle at them
05:18So don't use your eyes to look at them. It's I love this because it's like you and I have learned English in two
05:27I've learned making and you've learned ogling I'd say ogling to say ogling. Yeah, not ogling. Yeah, I might be wrong
05:34Let's have a vote
05:37Who says ogling?
05:39Who says ogling?
05:41Who says ogling?
05:43Who didn't know what it meant as well?
05:48About 60% ogling in here, dirty sod
05:52Okay, here's one of my favourites
05:54Do not let elderly men with an eye for flirtation pat you on the shoulder and take a fatherly interest in you
06:00Because
06:02They're usually the kind who forget that they are fathers
06:06That's a good rule
06:07They've got the money though
06:08I'm very worried about you
06:12Is it alright if I take you under my wing?
06:16I think that's fine
06:17You've got money so I, yes
06:18I like this one
06:20Don't fall for the slick dandified cake eater
06:22Oh
06:24We've all got a type Sunday
06:26What do you think that is? A cake eater?
06:27Yeah, it's the cake
06:28Oh
06:29The cake is the cake the
06:30The part, the body part
06:32Yeah
06:33The body part
06:34The, the, the, the, the spongy meat
06:35What do you think that is? A cake eater?
06:36Yeah, it's the cake
06:37Oh
06:38Is the cake the, the
06:39The, the, the part, the body part
06:40Yeah
06:41The, the spongy, you know, the
06:42Spongy meat
06:43What?
06:44You're doing three different times, you're doing different minds
06:48No, I'm just, I'm trying to
06:49No, I'm just, I'm trying to
06:50No, I'm just, I'm trying to
06:51No, I'm just, I'm trying to
06:52I'm just trying to
06:53Trying to articulate it whilst remembering that my grandma watches this show
06:57Is it the, you know, the, the cake would maybe be a metaphor
07:03Darling
07:04Yeah
07:05Even, even grannies have a minge, don't they?
07:08I know, we don't like to think
07:18I don't know who's grannies got a min
07:19What does that mean?
07:22This was her favourite show
07:26So a cake eater is a person with multiple sex partners, basically
07:32Oh
07:33Oh
07:34Oh, okay
07:35So none of that conversation needed to happen
07:37Good
07:38So the villains of this particular movement, the anti-flirt club, were the mashers
07:42Who do you think mashers were?
07:44This can't be real
07:45It's 1923, Danny
07:47What do we think about ma-
07:48Come on, you're so good with words
07:50Is it about potatoes? Can we rule that out?
07:53Yes, it is about potatoes
07:55Potatoes
07:56So it's an, yes
08:01Alan's just having a massive wink
08:02Alan's just having a massive wink
08:04Oh, it's mine with a mashers
08:05Oh, you're honestly the horn, you were telling somebody off while canoeing
08:15Yes
08:16Okay, so aggressive suitors are mashers, so these are men who wanted to make women their objects of their attention soft and pliable as you would mash a potato
08:19So, weirdly you get a point for mentioning potato, so well done there, that's fantastic
08:20That got us a point?
08:21Yeah
08:22Incredible
08:23Incredible
08:24They've been put up there by a masher
08:26Our president of this anti-flirt club, Alice Riley, we don't really know that much about her, except that she worked as a cashier
08:31She's winked
08:32She's winked
08:33That's a form of flirtation
08:34Well, it also may be that she was actually part of a publicity stunt, is the thing about her
08:35So, she, and I think that's a form of flirtation
08:39So, she, and another member of the anti-flirt club both worked for a film company involved in making a film film film
09:07involved in making a film the year before called the flirt so I know what are the chances eh so it
09:16may be the whole thing was a publicity stunt I've had a look at this film don't bother so what I
09:22want to know is how can you tell that you are being flirted with because I've handed them the
09:27money they did a study at the University of Kansas and only a quarter of straight people in these
09:37studies realize that they are being flirted with and women it was much fewer 18% of women realize
09:42that a man was flirting with them but people were very bad at detecting flirting and maybe it's one
09:48of the reasons might be that we all think that the signals that we are sending out are clearer than
09:53they aren't if somebody looks at your mouth well whilst whilst you're speaking yeah if you're
09:59looking at someone's mouth somebody's looking at your mouth you think oh they're really fancy me
10:04and eventually you go to the loo and discovers a big bit of something yeah I've been told it's a
10:09triangle apparently it's supposed to look at one eye then the other eye and then the
10:12mouth and then keep making your way around the triangle tip tip minge
10:16tip tip tip tip I am mortified Alan
10:30granny go to bed go to bed go to bed I am mortified that Alan and I have so much in common now
10:37now some practical wooing tips you've each got an object under your desk I want you to show me how
10:49you would use it to make yourself either more or less attractive I'm going to start with you Alan what
10:55have you got I've got magnetized things how might you use those well I would build the ideal home for
11:04raising a family in I mean I wouldn't do that on a first date build a love nest this is feeling
11:14like you know when people go and interview murderers yeah oh look it flops over
11:26there's nothing I can think of to do with these it makes me a more attractive well perhaps I am in
11:33fact perhaps I'm being more attractive even as we speak what do you think viewers
11:37so Texas A&M University did a study with magnets weirdly people who played with magnets said that
11:48they felt more attracted to their partners and more committed and satisfied in their relationships
11:54than those who played with ordinary blocks I mean it may be that it makes you think about the
11:58metaphorical magnetic attraction I don't know I mean it's one study in Texas what can I tell you
12:04if you can offer someone a segment yeah again it's giving real school shooter vibes
12:09not an easy woman to flirt with Maisie
12:14Rosie can we swap? Rosie you want to put that on your poster not an easy woman to flirt with Alan Daves
12:25right Larry what have you got darling? I have no darling you've picked up the wrong thing
12:30that's literally just tissues I don't know how to say it it's between your legs don't you
12:46these are wet wipes and these are tissues what have you got there? I was like oh fuck they've got me bang on today
13:03it's just a sign saying beer wine drunk troll keg yeah so we've got it up behind you and these are all words to
13:16do with alcohol so lots of studies show that after a couple of drinks people find
13:22each other a little bit more attractive but they have beer goggles on beer goggles
13:26weirdly works better for women than it does for men does it? I know that's one of those strange things isn't it?
13:31It's a tip! I know
13:35just play with your magnet shall I?
13:37don't have to buy them an actual drink it's enough to show them a word related to drink
13:44yeah so they took a group of again heterosexual men at the University of Missouri
13:51Columbia and they just showed them words like beer and keg and so on drunk and so on for a split second and then they asked them to rate photographs of women and they always rated them as more attractive after they'd seen the word
14:05you know those t-shirts you see when the people have got like a brand of beer on a t-shirt so that would actually make you more attractive in theory
14:12just because there's a word right there yes but the thing is there's no tests on gay people at all there's no I know
14:19I don't know why I've been doing this whole show because three of us it's got no relevance
14:22yeah
14:25why have you got Carlsberg written on your pants?
14:29Maisie what have you got?
14:31I have a face mask
14:33okay
14:34to make myself less attractive I would wear the face mask wrong like this
14:38oh that's bad
14:39that used to do mine up do you remember in the pandemic people would just go and sometimes they'd come and talk to you and go just so you know
14:45I used to see people who cut a hole in them so they could eat
14:51so Japanese researchers in 2016 they coined the term sanitary mask effect so in Japan it is quite common to wear a mask at the times other than during a pandemic
15:03and there were quite a lot of women who didn't want to put their makeup on because they couldn't be bothered so they thought I'll just wear a mask right
15:10because I'll be much more attractive with the mask because I haven't bothered with my makeup
15:14but in fact the masks make you less attractive and maybe people are put off
15:20it's the association with disease or something
15:22yeah
15:23right Rosie what have you got love?
15:24I've got some lovely croissants
15:29erm
15:30I think these will make you more attractive
15:36okay why?
15:37here's what I will do with croissants
15:42I will go
15:44oh no, I will go
15:46oh, um, F U
15:51Oh, I will see my croissants
16:00and then they're going really well
16:06yeah, no
16:08LAUGHTER
16:10LAUGHTER
16:12TIT TIT BREAKFAST
16:14TIT TIT BREAKFAST
16:16LAUGHTER
16:18APPLAUSE
16:20The University of Montpellier in France, they did a study in 2024.
16:24Eating croissants make you appear less attractive about two hours later.
16:28I know. So what they did was they had two groups.
16:31Half the subjects ate food full of refined carbohydrates.
16:34So that's croissants, or white bread.
16:37And the other half ate food low in bad carbs.
16:40So they had porridge or wholemeal bread and so on.
16:43And two hours later, photographs were taken and the attractiveness was rated.
16:46And the ones who'd had the good stuff were consistently rated as more attractive
16:52than the people who had had the bad carbohydrates.
16:54This was two hours later.
16:55And we think the reason is foods like croissants, they make your blood sugar spike
17:00and then it plummets and it drains the blood from your skin.
17:04So a couple of hours after eating croissants, you know, ironically, you look pasty.
17:10LAUGHTER
17:12Could it not be like, if you eat, like, certain stinky the night before,
17:15if you go out running the day after, you come back stinking at last night's dinner?
17:21I don't know.
17:22No, I've never...
17:23Please don't tell me that.
17:24LAUGHTER
17:25Right.
17:26For wooing purposes, let's move on to smell.
17:30What smell does make you more attractive?
17:33Is it sweat?
17:36Yes.
17:37It is to do with body odour.
17:38Let's call it that.
17:39Yeah.
17:40OK.
17:41It's not the great smell of brute.
17:42LAUGHTER
17:43APPLAUSE
17:44Good shout.
17:45Good shout backstage.
17:46Nicely done.
17:47Oh, but how about this?
17:48Old Spice?
17:49LAUGHTER
17:50And Lynx.
17:51Is that one?
17:52LAUGHTER
17:53So, body odour, right, they have discovered that single men have a stronger body odour than men in long-term relationships.
18:14There's a study, they get 80 men to donate their BO. How do you think they do that?
18:19How do you donate?
18:20Yeah, well, any thoughts about how you might do that?
18:22What I need is to study with 80 men donating their BO.
18:25I'll get them to hand their laundry over.
18:28Yeah, so they wore a t-shirt for the day and then...
18:31We'll do your laundry.
18:32Oh, thanks.
18:33LAUGHTER
18:34So, what they did was they just cut out the armpit and they put it in a bottle with a nozzle and then they got women to smell...
18:40LAUGHTER
18:42And what they discovered is the women consistently rated single men's BO as stronger than men who had partners.
18:49Why do you think that might be?
18:51Pheromones.
18:52Interestingly, humans don't have pheromones.
18:55Ooh.
18:56No, we have the receptors for pheromones and certainly they're all through the natural world, but they've looked and looked and looked but we don't have pheromones.
19:03If I catch my wife on a good day and she allows me to give her a hug in the kitchen...
19:07Oh, yes.
19:08A bunch of children will go, sex!
19:10And then another child will go, oh, God!
19:13And then the dog will come in from the garden and try to get involved.
19:16LAUGHTER
19:18Probably something to do with exercise, survival kind of stuff.
19:24Well, it's to do with levels of testosterone.
19:27So, single men have significantly higher testosterone levels than married men.
19:31And that makes sense because testosterone enhances the qualities that are useful for attracting a mate.
19:36So, you know, libido and confidence and competitiveness and so on.
19:39And what's interesting is that when men go into a partnership, the testosterone stays at the single level for about a year before it drops away.
19:48What about after 20 years?
19:50I mean, you might as well just get slippers.
19:53Oh, I've got slippers.
19:56How many kids have you got? Three.
19:58Three, isn't it?
19:59Yeah, well, fatherhood causes a steep decline in testosterone.
20:02No shit.
20:03LAUGHTER
20:09And both men and women are attracted to the smells of people who have a better immune system.
20:15And, of course, it makes sense because that's the person you want to procreate with.
20:18And disease can change your body odour.
20:21So acute diabetes, for example, makes you smell like rotten apples.
20:24Typhoid smells like baked bread.
20:26What smells like baked bread? Typhoid.
20:28Really? Because that's what they tell you to, like, when you go to house viewings, they tell you to have baked bread.
20:32They do. They do.
20:36I'd love to go round some flat and go,
20:38Yeah.
20:39Stinks of typhoid, innit?
20:41That would knock the price down, would it?
20:4350k off straight away, straight in the door.
20:45Yeah.
20:46Typhoid, innit?
20:47Yeah.
20:48I've, um...
20:49I've heard that about illness.
20:52It's because cerebral palsy makes you smell like a goddess.
21:01LAUGHTER
21:02You're like this, Alan.
21:03One study found that vegetarian men smell more pleasant to women.
21:15Oh, well, I've no doubt about that.
21:17Are you sure?
21:19No, but, like, have you ever followed a vegan into the loo?
21:26Oh.
21:27Oh, my God.
21:28At uni, I lived with two vegetarians and two vegans.
21:32I've never smelt stuff like it.
21:34When we used to have house parties, I used to demand that my housemates had gone to the loo three hours in advance,
21:41because I couldn't have that wafting round.
21:43LAUGHTER
21:44It's funny.
21:45I've got a weird thing that I've noticed.
21:47Every single time I've kissed, or whatever, a vegan or a vegetarian,
21:52they're not good at kissing and other activities.
21:54LAUGHTER
21:56It's because they're too weak.
21:58Yeah.
21:59LAUGHTER
22:01LAUGHTER
22:02Someone's accepted the challenge.
22:06LAUGHTER
22:08I want to boo, but...
22:11LAUGHTER
22:12I want to boo, but I've not had my tofu.
22:14Oh, no.
22:15LAUGHTER
22:16The world's strongest man is a vegan.
22:18I'm not having this.
22:19LAUGHTER
22:20I'm fighting back.
22:21I'm not one, but this is a load of nonsense.
22:23You know it.
22:24The gladiators used to eat beans.
22:25They were called bean munchers.
22:26LAUGHTER
22:27LAUGHTER
22:28Not a euphemism, it's just literal.
22:31LAUGHTER
22:32Talking of bullying, name three quite interesting things
22:37that you can pull through a wedding ring.
22:40LAUGHTER
22:41LAUGHTER
22:42What did you think of there?
22:46LAUGHTER
22:47She laughed as if to go, what can't you pull through it?
22:52LAUGHTER
22:54Does anybody want to say what the elephant is in the room?
22:56Do you mean a penis?
22:58LAUGHTER
22:59APPLAUSE
23:01I don't think I'm going to get a very good score this evening.
23:05LAUGHTER
23:06Is there not some old tradition thing,
23:09if you put your partner's hair or something on it?
23:12Yes.
23:13It's a superstition to do with the wedding ring.
23:15You attach a piece of the mother to his hair,
23:17and you hold it over the belly.
23:18If it goes round in a circle, it's supposed to be a girl,
23:20and if it goes backwards and forwards, it's supposed to be a...
23:22And it does do one or the other, cos I did it with all three.
23:25Yeah.
23:26And then when it was going backwards and forwards,
23:28round and round, and then...
23:30Which one is it? Nobody knew.
23:31Couldn't remember.
23:32And if you looked online, some websites said one,
23:35some websites said the other.
23:36So either it was always right or wrong.
23:37What does that mean the baby's doing then?
23:39Like a piñata, doesn't it?
23:41LAUGHTER
23:42They all have the powers of Derren Brown,
23:44and then when they're born, they lose it.
23:46LAUGHTER
23:47So that's about tying the hair on.
23:50I'm looking for things that you pull...
23:52Sorry, I was being Doctor Strange in the Marvel Universe.
23:58Benedict Cumberbatch, you know,
24:00he's a very well-thought-of classical actor,
24:03and suddenly he's got the most stupid costume
24:05and he's going like this.
24:07There's nothing there.
24:08They had it all in later and he had to do it for months.
24:10Yes.
24:11And then he laughed all the way to the bank.
24:13Oh, God.
24:14Then he went like that cos his cheque was so low.
24:16LAUGHTER
24:19No, he's lovely.
24:20I am going to focus you.
24:21What are we going to pull through a wedding?
24:23My first thought was food.
24:27So I would go classic wotsit.
24:37Then you go for a french fry.
24:41I don't mean how many tiny things will go through a wedding.
24:44LAUGHTER
24:45What do you mean?
24:46What do you mean?
24:47Surprising things.
24:48Quite interesting things.
24:49Oh!
24:50A car.
24:51LAUGHTER
24:52It's a weasel.
24:53A weasel?
24:54A weasel can go through a wedding ring.
24:58I've seen a weasel.
24:59Have you?
25:00Yes, in the wild.
25:01They look like stoats but there's a little difference.
25:02One's wearing a wedding ring.
25:03LAUGHTER
25:04LAUGHTER
25:05So weasels have the ability to compress their skull momentarily and they can get through very tiny tunnels in order to catch mice.
25:06Do they do it by the power of thought?
25:07Can I just say your impression of a weasel is a lot like your impression of Benedict Cumberbatch?
25:08LAUGHTER
25:09APPLAUSE
25:10LAUGHTER
25:11LAUGHTER
25:12LAUGHTER
25:13That doesn't look like Benedict Cumberbatch.
25:14Doctor Strange on the look.
25:15That doesn't look like Benedict Cumberbatch.
25:16Doctor Strange on the look.
25:17That doesn't look like Benedict Cumberbatch.
25:18That doesn't look like Benedict Cumberbatch.
25:19Doctor Strange on the look.
25:20LAUGHTER
25:21So weasels have the ability to compress their skull momentarily and they can get through very tiny tunnels in order to catch mice.
25:28Do they do it by the power of thought?
25:31Can I just say your impression of a weasel is a lot like your impression of Benedict Cumberbatch.
25:36LAUGHTER
25:38That doesn't look like Benedict Cumberbatch.
25:39That doesn't look like Benedict Cumberbatch.
25:40That doesn't look like Benedict Cumberbatch.
25:41That doesn't look like Benedict Cumberbatch.
25:42That doesn't look like Benedict Cumberbatch.
25:43Doctor Strange on the loo.
25:44LAUGHTER
25:45LAUGHTER
25:46LAUGHTER
25:47With you at the door going, get out of there, the guests are arriving.
25:48LAUGHTER
25:49The other things that you could, which are sort of surprising, a bikini.
25:50So when the bikini was first invented in 1946, the inventor, Louis Réard, said that they weren't a proper bikini unless they were so small that they were so small.
26:07You could pull it through a wedding ring.
26:09You're not supposed to say bikini, are you?
26:11Because it was on the Bikini Atoll where they did nuclear tests.
26:15Yeah.
26:16And lots and lots of people became terribly ill as a consequence.
26:19So the very word bikini ought to be associated with this terrible injustice and not sexy lady.
26:26LAUGHTER
26:28You're supposed to say two-piece.
26:31LAUGHTER
26:33Can I have a point?
26:34Yes.
26:35Whoo-hoo!
26:36APPLAUSE
26:38How has he gone from being able to go tit-tit vag?
26:45Bikini, you shouldn't say.
26:48LAUGHTER
26:49The other thing is a Shetland shawl.
26:54So traditional Shetland fine lace wool shawls weigh less than seven ounces and they can also be pulled through a wedding ring.
26:59A Shetland shawl?
27:00It's an odd combination of things, isn't it?
27:04It's a bizarre graphic.
27:06It is like the weasels thinking, will that fit me?
27:09LAUGHTER
27:11I can get through that, watch this, watch this, I can get through that.
27:14So my apologies if this sounds a bit gross, but who is the goddess of the manhole?
27:19Oh!
27:20And now is it?
27:21OK.
27:22Is it amazing?
27:24LAUGHTER
27:26APPLAUSE
27:28Did that laugh?
27:30LAUGHTER
27:32LAUGHTER
27:34I'm not writing to it.
27:36All I ask is that you tell me when this is going to TX so I can inform my grandmother.
27:41LAUGHTER
27:43The goddess of the manhole.
27:45LAUGHTER
27:48The granddaughter of Granny Minge.
27:51LAUGHTER
27:53APPLAUSE
27:55Andre!
27:57Hey, Andre!
27:59LAUGHTER
28:01LAUGHTER
28:04She's 93.
28:05Sorry.
28:06We're in Roman times, it's a Roman goddess and we are talking about manholes.
28:10We are talking about manholes.
28:11It's the Roman goddess of the great sewer, which was called the cloaca maxima.
28:15They have a goddess of a sewer?
28:16Yes, they do, of course.
28:17But she's vegan.
28:18LAUGHTER
28:23Bean muncher.
28:25Venus cloacina.
28:26So you have to understand that this was the most incredible thing
28:29because it kept the city clean, right?
28:31It started in 600 BC.
28:34By the time it was finished, it was 20 metres wide, it was over a mile long
28:38and it took all the waste away from the city.
28:42It was considered one of Rome's greatest achievements.
28:44In fact, some of it is still in use today.
28:47The sewer lasted longer than the Empire.
28:49Eventually, she was sort of conflated with Venus, the goddess of love.
28:52I guess both symbolising purity.
28:55And eventually she became the goddess who presided over sexual intercourse
28:58on the wedding night.
28:59Presided over it.
29:00Like, what?
29:01LAUGHTER
29:02Sounds judgmental, doesn't it?
29:04It does, doesn't it?
29:05Sounds like she's there with a clipboard, like, on your driving test.
29:09Yeah.
29:10LAUGHTER
29:11You're going to have to retake that, I'm afraid.
29:16LAUGHTER
29:18You can't reverse round corners.
29:20LAUGHTER
29:22It's three miners, no, no.
29:24LAUGHTER
29:25You don't understand any of the signals.
29:27LAUGHTER
29:28But that's it at the bottom there, going into the River Tiber.
29:31And you could throw anything you wanted into the street under Roman law,
29:35because most of it would wash out of the town through the cloaca maxima.
29:38It's weird, though, if you threw something out of an apartment,
29:41so there were some buildings that were, like, five storeys high,
29:43you had to be very careful not to hit anybody,
29:45because they could sue you for inconvenience.
29:48They do that on New Year's Eve.
29:50What?
29:51Throw things out the window.
29:52What, in Rome?
29:53Yeah, in Rome.
29:54I went there once.
29:55Things come out of windows, there's a lot of glass thrown.
29:58It is brilliant, but really frightening.
30:00I love the image that this is not Italian tradition.
30:02They just saw you walking down the street.
30:08I love it.
30:09Anyway, moving on.
30:10How did the big bad wolf get Little Red Riding Hood's attention?
30:15He nagged her.
30:17LAUGHTER
30:18He dressed up, didn't he, as his granny, and then learnt to speak.
30:28OK.
30:29What is a thing that sometimes men do to get a woman's attention?
30:32Dress up as a granny?
30:33Wolf whistle is what I was going to go for.
30:35Oh, God!
30:36Well, it gets its name from a series of Little Red Riding Hood cartoons.
30:41They were directed by Tex Avery.
30:43That was his nickname, was also Fred Avery.
30:45So he was the animator behind all the first big Looney Tunes successes,
30:49like Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck and so on.
30:51And in Little Red Walking Hood, which was the first of these, 1937,
30:56the big bad wolf whistles letterously at Red Riding Hood in the street.
31:01And then there was a sequel in 1943, Red Hot Riding Hood.
31:05Oh, no.
31:06I'm just going to remind everybody that cartoons were originally designed
31:09for adults in the movie theatre.
31:10Yeah.
31:11They were not intended for children.
31:13And Miss Hood is now a sexy nightclub singer.
31:15This is the follow-up.
31:16What?
31:17I know, right.
31:18And he wolf whistles at her and then pulls out a machine
31:22that wolf whistles for him.
31:24And eventually he's chased off by a, frankly,
31:27even more sexually voracious grandma.
31:29I don't know why I'm looking at you.
31:38Anyway, the wolf whistle became a thing that people knew about.
31:40A wolf whistle?
31:41Yeah.
31:42So wolves actually do that?
31:44No, so...
31:48I do like those, like, two sort of milliseconds after a wolf whistle
31:52where you dart round to see if it's, like, someone, like,
31:55that's your friend, so you can be like, stop it,
31:57or a stranger where you can be like, fuck off!
32:02I don't know how to tell you this, but wolves can't whistle.
32:06They can make lots of noises.
32:07In fact, they can make 11 different noises.
32:08They can yelp and they can whimper and they can whine
32:10and that kind of thing.
32:11Think how different we'd see, like, a full moon
32:14if we just saw wolves going up and go...
32:19They can howl.
32:20Oh, my goodness.
32:21I mean, I say howling, it sounds more like singing.
32:23So, some years ago, I was one of those weird documentaries.
32:26I went with, you know, the wonderful Deborah Meaden, who does...
32:28Oh, yeah.
32:29...Dragon's Den.
32:30She and I went to a place called Wolf Lodge, which is about 1,000 miles
32:33north of Oslo in Norway, in a place called Tromsø, and you go there
32:37and you stay inside an enclosure where the wolves are living wild.
32:41It's phenomenally expensive.
32:42We wouldn't have been there if it wasn't being paid for by somebody else.
32:45And then, during the day, you go out and you are with the wild wolves
32:49and you, in order to greet them, they get you to kneel down
32:53and then the wolves come and they lick your face.
32:55Oh, no.
32:56Anyway, I was fine and I was letting them lick my face.
32:59Deborah Meaden, first time she met a wolf, she let it do tongues.
33:02Just going to say.
33:03But, more importantly, did she invest in the proposal?
33:11That is, without doubt, the best celebrity gossip I've ever heard.
33:17What's amazing is you can stroke them and I put my hand into the fur
33:21and it's like it disappears.
33:22It's the thickest thing I have ever put my hand in because, of course,
33:25it's so effing cold.
33:27But when they start howling, what happens is one of them begins
33:30and then another one joins in and, for some reason,
33:32they don't seem to do the same note.
33:34They do a slightly different tone and the range of noises that they make
33:39is done on purpose because it shows that the pack is enormous
33:42and that the prey will think, oh, my goodness, they're terrifying.
33:44Let's have a quick look.
33:52Nah, that's dubbed.
33:53Fake.
33:56A wolf pack likes a bit of a sing-song,
33:58but this Wolfgang is no Mozart.
34:01Oh.
34:04I feel I had you till that moment.
34:07I didn't know if they were groaning or doing an impression of the wolves.
34:11What's the cheesiest thing you could imagine at a wedding?
34:15They're Venger boys.
34:20You mean they're some of the actual Venger boys at the wedding?
34:24They're actual Venger boys.
34:28What is that? What is that?
34:29A popular music combo.
34:30You know the Venger boys.
34:31You know.
34:33,,
34:40,,
34:43.
34:45can.
34:46,,
34:47,,
34:49They've all gone mad
34:54Very famous wedding very famous piece of cheese Queen Victoria. Queen Victoria is correct
35:081840 and Somerset farmers gave them great big round of cheese. It weighed over a thousand pounds
35:14My god piece of cheese and it was made from the milk of 780 cows, you know, you're gonna need a lot of crackers, right? Yeah
35:21The farmer said could we send it round the country on a publicity tour to show what an amazing piece of cheese
35:26We've made and then it went all around the country to fairs and things and people prodded and poked it
35:33And then she didn't want it back because
35:35Touched it people have been touching it. Nobody knows what happened to it
35:44I've lived on that when I was a student. I was very constipated
35:52You'd have fit in perfectly well with my uni flatmates
35:56When Elizabeth the second got married the people of Leamington's bar club together and got her a washing machine
36:04The richest woman in the world somebody gave her 500 tins of pineapple
36:08It's so it's really popular now in it to have cheese like as your cake at weddings. Oh, I do that
36:15I don't really like cake. I love cheese. I'm allergic to dairy
36:18So if I eat that then there that extractor fans gonna have a lot of work that night
36:24My neighbors will think I'm announcing a new Pope
36:26Charles and Diana's wedding they got gifted a ton of Pete Pete's feet. Yes. Hey soil big lad
36:48The Crown Prince hack on of Norway and his fiancee were given a quick smoking course
36:52Yeah, Prince Carl Philip of Sweden and Sofia Helqvist two-person kayak an electric guitar and a nature reserve
37:02What vibe were they giving off as a couple?
37:06Expensive royal wedding the most anybody's ever spent Crown Prince Abu Dhabi
37:12Princess Salamah
37:14Estimated cost a hundred million
37:16Oh
37:18Yeah, got married in a 20,000 seater stadium the gifts for the bride were carried on 20 bejeweled camels
37:25No
37:26King Charles the second married Catherine of Braganza in 1662 her diary included
37:32500,000 pounds, which is about 77 million in today's money as well as I love this
37:37Bombay Tangier and the right of free trade with the Portuguese colonies. That's
37:42That's the stuff my wedding was very emotional even the cake was in tears now
37:58We've talked a lot about marriage, but nothing lasts forever. What's the upside to being a widow? Oh
38:04Oh, you don't need to live for a fair man
38:11I mean, that's very straightforward, isn't it?
38:13That's very straightforward. So there was an advantage sometimes to being a widow
38:16So in the 19th century in France the only women who could legally own a business were widows
38:22Oh
38:23So this woman Barb Nicole Clicquot
38:26She took over her husband's wine business. He passed away in 1810
38:31She was just 27 and she renamed it verve Clicquot and verve is the French for Widow
38:37Oh
38:37She is the widow Clicquot and she began selling champagne and she became one of the very first international businesswoman ever and she even managed to get
38:46Her wines through the blockades in Imperial Russia so that champagne could be drunk to celebrate Napoleon's defeat. That's pretty cool
38:53There's a very interesting connection between widows and champagne houses
38:56So Louise Pomerie she took over Pomerie when her husband Alexander died in
39:011860 and by 1890 she passed away
39:03She was the very first French woman to be given a state funeral because done such an amazing job with her business
39:08The next one is Mathilde Emily Perrier
39:11She created Laurent Perrier when her husband Eugene Laurent died in 1887
39:16Then we have Camille-Olri Rodeur who took over Rodeur in 1932 and then when Jacques Bollinger died in 1941
39:23His widow on the right there Lily Bollinger who just looks so happy
39:27She
39:28Are we looking at a gallery of murderers?
39:33This is one of my favourite quotes of all time. It's by Lily Bollinger so the one on the right there
39:37She said I drink champagne when I'm happy and when I'm sad sometimes I drink it when I'm alone when I have company
39:43I consider it obligatory I
39:46Trifle with it if I'm not hungry and drink it when I am otherwise I never touch it
39:53Unless I'm thirsty
39:55Fingers on buzzers please, it's general ignorance. Where does sushi come from?
40:12Boot
40:19Japan
40:20Birmingham
40:21The method did spread through China but the origins is along the banks of the Mekong River so we're talking about what is now Cambodia, Thailand and Laos
40:38So seafood would be skinned and it would be gutted stuffed with salt and then left to ferment in a barrel for
40:44Six months and then in the second century the Chinese started to put rice with the fish because the rice helped to ferment the fish
40:51Basically the rice became really stinky and they would throw the rice away and then by the 1500s. They're thinking let's keep the rice as well
40:57And that whole process was called
41:00Nara Rezushi meaning matured fish and it took about a year, but a year they did eventually
41:06Make the process a bit quicker and they used rice vinegar which made it just a few days instead of it having to be a year
41:11I've got one to say quite
41:16Who invented they can bear?
41:20Yes, I love those
41:25Yeah, we've all eaten dinner and thought you know what I'd like this mixed with baggage reclaim
41:30Now what's another name for a cardiac arrest just stunning heart attack?
41:46Myocardial infarction
41:48What? Wow, okay
41:56Yeah, because it's on the warning label if you buy a packet of Viagra
41:59Sandy you can't let him disclose that and it'd be wrong
42:13So a cardiac arrest is when a person's heart stops pumping blood around the body and so they basically they stopped breathing normally
42:18That can be caused by a heart attack
42:20Okay
42:21But a heart attack is when one of the arteries in your heart becomes blocked and if it's left untreated then the heart tissue will it will eventually die
42:27It's a curious thing if you get a flu vaccine it decreases your risk of having a heart attack by about 25%
42:34If you take cocaine it increases the risk by nearly 24 times within an hour
42:39So that's a curious thing
42:41So really every time we do a line George have a flu vaccine
42:45So really every time we do a line George have a flu vaccine
42:49Imagine if you directed the Wolf of Wall Street
42:55Now if any of you know cause or just impediment why these four persons should not be humiliated by the scores
43:05You are to declare it. No, it's too late
43:08Living happily ever after in first place tonight with two whole points
43:15Maisie
43:21Always the bridesmaid in second place with minus six, it's Larry
43:27Getting cold feet with minus eight, Rosie
43:29And left to the altar in last place with a magnificent minus 54
43:38It's Alan
43:40Right, that's it for this episode of QI. Thanks to Rosie, Larry, Maisie and Alan. That's the end of the show
43:54So I'd just like to say to my wife. I know I'm always working, but I really love you. See, I've still got it. I've still got it, right?
44:00Good night
44:02Thank you
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