- 2 days ago
QI XL S23E14 - Whatnots
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00Music
00:09Music
00:15Welcome, welcome, welcome to QI.
00:34Tonight we have a random wound up of widgets and whatnots for you.
00:40Let's whiz through our workforce, the wonderful Joanne McNally.
00:45The witty Andrew Maxwell, the warm-hearted Sally Phillips, and, well, well, what a surprise,
00:58it's Alan Davis.
01:01Right, let's hear your whatshamacallams, which are all woodwind.
01:08Joanne goes...
01:10Oh, a little bit of recorder there, Andrew goes...
01:17Ooh, bass clarinet.
01:21Sally goes...
01:22Sex.
01:23Oh, I love a bit of sex.
01:24Fax-y.
01:25Yeah.
01:26Can I just say that all our buzzers have been made for us this evening by two fabulous
01:32musicians, David Tobin and Tim Garland.
01:34Let's have a listen to what Alan's is.
01:38Do you know what it is, darling?
01:39No.
01:40It's called a crumb horn.
01:41It's a wooden renaissance instrument.
01:42Yeah, like a crook.
01:43Yeah, like a crook.
01:44You blow into the straight end.
01:45Anyway, here's a QI fact, right?
01:46So, David Tobin, who played the crumb horn, his dad was Fidel Castro's dentist.
02:03Don't you love that guy?
02:04Wow!
02:05Did he have good teeth, Hidel Castro?
02:07No.
02:08He was known as the horse.
02:09Was he?
02:10No.
02:11That wasn't to do with his teeth, Andrew.
02:13It was because he had a tail.
02:16How do you know that?
02:19It's just a well-known fact about Castro.
02:21Oh.
02:22You say that, I didn't know.
02:23Hands up, who knew that Castro was hung like a horse?
02:26I am so.
02:27You've added in a detail there of your own.
02:29Yes.
02:30Yes.
02:31Right, let's get the show going.
02:34What begins with W and has become louder since Brexit?
02:40Washing a Gwashing?
02:45Yes.
02:46I mean, I'm going to give you two points just because that's not something any of us have thought of.
02:51Is it waves?
02:52Like the sea?
02:53Just all waves are louder.
02:55Because we're now measuring them a different way than we used to.
03:00Because it used to be a metric EU measurement.
03:05We've gone back to an imperial wave measurement.
03:08Chip in any time, Joanne.
03:12It's waiting.
03:13Waiting.
03:14You have to wait for everything more now.
03:16In airports and passports and my soda stream.
03:19I don't care for politics.
03:21Right.
03:22But Brexit only really, I took it seriously when I tried to order refills for my soda stream.
03:26And it was going to take 12 weeks and cost 6 grand to get it into the country.
03:29And I went, right now I'm politically motivated.
03:31See, I like when somebody's got a limit.
03:33There you go.
03:34I'll take to the streets if I can't get my sparkly water on time.
03:37The answer is wheelie bins.
03:38Oh, I was going to say wankers.
03:39Yeah.
03:40So, 1993, the European Commission decided that they were going to issue a outdoor noise directive,
03:54right?
03:55And it regulated sounds made by 57 different types of outdoor equipment.
03:59So, things you'd expect, bulldozers, leaf blowers, that kind of thing.
04:02But they also did for an appropriately designed container fitted with wheels intended to store
04:07waste temporarily and which is equipped with a cover.
04:10It's a wheelie bin.
04:11We've seen.
04:12And so, they opened and closed the lid of a wheelie bin 20 times and they dragged it across,
04:17I don't know, steel mesh to, you know, simulate irregular ground and they set a limit.
04:22But since Brexit, no legal requirement.
04:26Freedom.
04:27Finally free.
04:30It's freedom.
04:31Have a noisy bin again.
04:33How loud is it when you pour eight wine bottles into one at two in the morning?
04:39Alan, do you not tip and slide, no?
04:41What's tip and slide?
04:42You just tip the bin back on the two wheels that the Lord God gave you and slide the bottle in.
04:47Oh, that's smart.
04:48You're not using your own bin, are you?
04:50LAUGHTER
04:54You're going around a neighbour and putting one item in everybody's bin.
04:57I know you are.
04:58Every bin gets a bottle of Merlot.
05:01Yeah, I dress up as a bin sometimes.
05:04LAUGHTER
05:05I was just thinking I could fit in quite a...
05:07Easily fit in!
05:08What's more, it would be lower than the required sound limit.
05:12Yes!
05:13A good question about this picture, I just noticed.
05:16What's wrong with this picture?
05:17OK, there's some...
05:18Upside down.
05:19I'm not asking you.
05:20LAUGHTER
05:22Is it me bothering you, the flag?
05:25Yeah.
05:26Yeah.
05:27What's wrong with it?
05:28It's upside down, isn't it?
05:29LAUGHTER
05:30That's why it's in the bin, probably.
05:32Yeah, yeah.
05:33In Ethiopia, there is a walled city of Harar.
05:37How do you think the recycling is done in this city?
05:40Are they...
05:41Have they got the bins?
05:42It's nothing to do with bins at all.
05:43Are they...
05:44Are they using...
05:45Pigs?
05:46It is an animal.
05:47To chew glass!
05:48Well, it's not necessarily glass.
05:49It's all the other stuff, all of the waste products that you might put out.
05:53Are tiny weevils?
05:54No.
05:55Hyenas.
05:56Hyenas!
05:57Oh!
05:58When it gets dark, they let them in through a series of hyena doors and they eat whatever
06:03is left in the streets.
06:04And because they're nocturnal, they go back to their dens during the day.
06:07I don't think they can do glass selling, but they can bite through bone.
06:10Yeah, fine.
06:11Basically.
06:12And digest anything from hair to hooves.
06:15Oh, gross.
06:16And because of their diet, their poo is almost entirely white.
06:19Like the dogs in the 80s.
06:21Do you remember?
06:22Yes.
06:23White dog poo is making a return.
06:24Is it?
06:25Because everyone's doing raw food.
06:26My dog's poo white after 24 hours.
06:28Well, I mean...
06:32It comes out white?
06:33It doesn't turn white.
06:34It comes out dark and within 24 hours it's gone white.
06:36Darling, are you not supposed to pick it up in a bag?
06:38You're not supposed to leave it for 25 hours and go back and see how it is.
06:41It's a really sordid version of Autumn Watch.
06:46Just sitting there watching a poo turn white over two evenings.
06:50I'm going to pull a pashmina out of my dog's arse.
06:52No.
06:53It's never full.
06:54It must never pull.
06:55It's got to go through naturally.
06:56That's why it died.
06:57And the...
06:58Never mind the dog.
06:59What happened to the pashmina?
07:00It's my mother, so it was washed and reused.
07:01Oh, fine.
07:02Birds in urban areas.
07:03This I like is a piece of recycling.
07:04They sometimes collect cigarette butts and use them for nests.
07:05There's a phenomenon in Mexico City and apparently it's very good for the city.
07:21So it's a form of cleaning and then the chemicals in the tobacco repel parasites for the birds.
07:25I think it's rather fine.
07:26Does anybody know what shoddy is?
07:29It means the lowest quality of leather.
07:31Not leather, but old clothing, old rags.
07:33Yeah.
07:34Shoddy.
07:35Yeah, it was another form of recycling.
07:36So 1813, a man called Benjamin Law, he was a Yorkshireman, and he invented a type of recycling.
07:40And it's taking old clothes rags and shredding them into thin fibres and then re-spinning them.
07:45And in the American Civil War, they had such a shortage of cloth.
07:49They imported six million tonnes of this stuff, this cheap fabric, cheap shoddy, to make uniforms and blankets.
07:55But it was absolutely rubbish.
07:56The minute it rained, the uniforms started to fall apart.
07:59And that's where we get the modern meaning of shoddies from an original idea for recycling.
08:03Here is a good piece of news about waste, though.
08:062023, there was a government report found that since the charge for plastic bags has been introduced in the UK, which was in 2015, the usage has fallen by 98%.
08:16Wow.
08:17Yes. 7 billion plastic bags.
08:242014, average household took home 140 single-use plastic bags, and by 2023, it was just two.
08:30Wow.
08:31And don't you feel guilty now, though, when they go, would you like a bag?
08:34Yeah.
08:35Yes.
08:36Yes.
08:37Sorry.
08:38Yes.
08:39I'm always buying bags for life.
08:40So, whereas before I was only buying one...
08:42I've got a cupboard full of them.
08:43How many single-use plastic bags go into a bag for life?
08:46Also, how much are you going to like that bag that you want to have it for life?
08:49It's quite a big commitment with a partner.
08:52Never mind the...
08:53Is that what you call the wife?
08:55A bag for life.
08:56Yeah.
08:57There she is, bag for life.
08:58There she is.
08:59Never let a man write his own wedding vows.
09:08LAUGHTER
09:09LAUGHTER
09:10OK.
09:11Moving along.
09:12Why would tinfoil and Wi-Fi go together?
09:17You put the tinfoil around your head to protect you from the rays...
09:21OK.
09:22...that the Martians...
09:23Yeah.
09:24...are sending back to Earth and using the liberal media to pervert our minds.
09:30LAUGHTER
09:31I just want to take that whole section and transmit it just by itself.
09:36LAUGHTER
09:37So, your router box transmits radio waves to connect your devices to the internet
09:41and the signal is pumped out in all sorts of directions,
09:43but you can strengthen it with aluminium foil.
09:45So, what you do is you put it behind the box and it acts as a sort of mirror
09:49because the radio waves would otherwise be soaked up by the wall, right?
09:52So, that's one way of doing it.
09:54Or you can use the foil to block the signal.
09:56Like when you go shoplifting?
09:58LAUGHTER
10:00LAUGHTER
10:02You just lie in your pockets with the foil, don't you?
10:04Do you?
10:05When you go through those things, they can't...
10:07Oh!
10:08Oh!
10:09Wow!
10:10You can just pour the soup directly into your...
10:12LAUGHTER
10:14LAUGHTER
10:15Jeez!
10:16Put the tinfoil in and they feel your pockets with potatoes.
10:18LAUGHTER
10:20They test Wi-Fi on airplanes with sacks of potatoes.
10:24That is absolutely correct.
10:26So, Boeing in 2012, they wanted to test how their in-flight Wi-Fi was working.
10:30LAUGHTER
10:31They wanted to test it on a full plane, but they didn't want to have people
10:34sitting there for ten hours.
10:35I've seen that one right there.
10:37LAUGHTER
10:38They used sacks of potatoes.
10:40Nine tonnes of potatoes to make into human-sized people
10:43because potatoes have a similar density to humans
10:46and they're also mostly water.
10:48And so the potatoes absorb energy in a similar sort of way.
10:51And I love this.
10:52Boeing called the project synthetic personnel using dielectric substitution.
10:57LAUGHTER
10:58Which is, of course...
11:00LAUGHTER
11:01..stance.
11:03Would I bake in five minutes, then, like a potato?
11:05Well, you're quite a big potato.
11:07Yeah.
11:08I don't think you'd fit in a microwave.
11:09I mean, I might.
11:10Oh, sorry.
11:11Are you always microwaving potatoes?
11:12I microwave everything.
11:13I do.
11:14I microwave red wine.
11:15What?
11:16Yeah.
11:17Why?
11:18To get it to room temperature in a hurry,
11:19cos I'm always in a hurry for Merlot.
11:20My other-in-law, and I bet no-one else does this,
11:23microwaves white wine cos she doesn't like it cold.
11:26That's disgusting.
11:27It's disgraceful.
11:28I'm sorry, the red wine is fine, but...
11:30LAUGHTER
11:32I'm a sommelier compared to that.
11:34LAUGHTER
11:35How might you use Wi-Fi to look through a wall?
11:38So this was some research done at the University of California...
11:41Is it like sonar?
11:42In what way?
11:43Like it sends out something and it reflect bounces off something
11:46and tells you there's something on the other side of the wall?
11:48Is the correct answer?
11:49Oh, it is, you see?
11:50Oh!
11:51APPLAUSE
11:56I was just about to say you've confused Wi-Fi with a whale.
11:59LAUGHTER
12:00But no.
12:01So, in that way it is exactly like sonar,
12:03so what you do is you send out your radio waves as normal
12:06and then the receiver logs any signals that bounce back.
12:08Do you think if animals could talk to us and chat on,
12:12the world would be better or worse?
12:14They've trained a poodle to speak.
12:18Obviously it can't actually speak, but they've got these touchpads.
12:20So they've not trained it to speak?
12:22No, no, it can't.
12:23They can speak in a way a non-vocal human could speak through.
12:25Right.
12:26There's all these pads that say things,
12:27hello, good morning, how are you?
12:29Right.
12:30I don't know.
12:31I don't know.
12:32Shit white.
12:33LAUGHTER
12:34Don't leave it up.
12:35Leave it.
12:36Leave it.
12:37I want to see if it goes white.
12:38I want to see if it goes white.
12:39Don't whack my poo.
12:40What's wrong with you?
12:41Put that there on purpose.
12:43LAUGHTER
12:44No, but they do find that whales, a whale song conforms to laws of language.
12:51Yes.
12:52There's no reason why they aren't communicating just because we don't understand what they're saying.
12:56No, no, whales are absolutely communicating.
12:58That is absolutely correct.
12:59Yes.
13:00Although utterly irrelevant to Wi-Fi through a wall.
13:03Just going to try and bring us back to that.
13:06So what can the dog do?
13:08LAUGHTER
13:13I mean, I saw the clips, the dog was talking.
13:16LAUGHTER
13:17I'm just going to chase the postman.
13:19I'll be back inside.
13:20LAUGHTER
13:22Apparently pigs can play the Nintendo.
13:24LAUGHTER
13:27I have this horrible feeling I'm in a parallel universe today.
13:30LAUGHTER
13:31I ask a perfectly reasonable question and people say random things to me.
13:34You know what I think?
13:36I think cats are stupid.
13:37And I think...
13:38LAUGHTER
13:39All the people who go,
13:40Oh, my cat's not.
13:41When they...
13:42If their cat can talk, they think,
13:43Jesus, this thing's an idiot.
13:44LAUGHTER
13:47A narcissistic, psychopathic idiot.
13:50Yeah.
13:51Our little cockapoo has been trained that if I say,
13:54secure the perimeter, she will run all the way around the whole garden, barking.
13:58LAUGHTER
13:59That's...
14:00We sometimes say it just to get her to go away.
14:02LAUGHTER
14:04Right.
14:05So, you were talking about sonar and being able to look through the wall with the Wi-Fi.
14:08You're absolutely right.
14:09They did this with the word believe,
14:11so they wouldn't cut out letters on the other side,
14:13and the imaging results, when it came back, you were able to read through using Wi-Fi.
14:16You know what else you can do?
14:17What?
14:18Bouncing off the wall, and I found this out as a student,
14:20Yeah.
14:21You can turn your neighbour's TV over.
14:23LAUGHTER
14:24With your remote.
14:25How do you do that?
14:26You could just go through the window, and they'd bounce off the wall and tick their telly.
14:29LAUGHTER
14:30That's our generation video games, isn't it?
14:34LAUGHTER
14:36LAUGHTER
14:37Anybody know what the connection is with show business and Wi-Fi?
14:43Ooh, ooh, yes.
14:44LAUGHTER
14:45Are you doing a dog now?
14:47No, I think it was a monkey.
14:48Definitely.
14:49A January deal.
14:50Yes, go.
14:51It's one of the most beautiful women to have ever been in Hollywood.
14:54Yes.
14:55Hedy Lamarr.
14:56Oh, yes.
14:57Hedy Lamarr.
14:58Genius.
14:59She was extraordinary.
15:00There she is, star of the biblical epic Samson and Delilah.
15:03At the peak of her career, she was known as the most beautiful woman in the world.
15:07But in her spare time, she was an inventor.
15:10She always liked inventing.
15:11As soon as she got money, she made a whole room where she was always working on different projects.
15:15A better traffic light, a tablet that dissolved in water to make a fizzy drink or whatever.
15:19Anyway, during World War II, she came up with a new way of guiding torpedoes to their targets using radio waves.
15:25And she thought that if you hopped between frequencies, you know, a bit like pressing different keys on a piano,
15:31it would be more difficult for the enemy to jam the signals.
15:34And so she approached a pianist that she knew, a film composer called George Antile,
15:38and they made a prototype with 88 different possible signals.
15:41Why 88?
15:42Is that the number of keys on a piano?
15:44The number of keys on a grand piano, exactly right.
15:45Keys on a piano, yeah.
15:46And they patented the idea in 1942, but the Navy didn't use it,
15:49and the patent expired and they never earned any money from it.
15:52But frequency hopping is now the basis, not only of Wi-Fi, but of GPS and Bluetooth,
15:57and she is often called the queen of Wi-Fi, and I love her.
16:01Isn't that fantastic? Yeah.
16:02I think it's great. Look at her. She's amazing.
16:04She was the model for Snow White as well.
16:06Yes, that's right, yeah.
16:07Does anybody know what Wi-Fi is short for?
16:10Anyone?
16:11No, don't start asking them.
16:13None of us know.
16:15Weird.
16:16Wireless.
16:17Frequency.
16:18Feet.
16:19Fidel.
16:20Internal.
16:21Infidels.
16:22Yes.
16:23Wireless.
16:24Infidels.
16:25Infidels. No Wi-Fi.
16:26Fine.
16:27Wireless what?
16:28Wireless.
16:29Wireless fidelity.
16:30Wireless fidelity.
16:32I mean, it's fair enough that you might think it's wireless fidelity because we have high fidelity,
16:43but don't we?
16:44We have hi-fi.
16:45But it doesn't mean anything, actually.
16:46It was invented by a marketing agency.
16:48They were asked to come up with something catchier than what it was called before.
16:52It was known as wireless standard IEEE 802.11.
16:57Direct sequence.
16:58And they all said, that's a bit long.
17:01Let's have something else.
17:03I think it was a dog, actually, who said suggestion.
17:05Right, moving on.
17:07In the mid-20th century, which European city was divided by a wall over two metres high
17:12and topped with lethal spikes?
17:15Er, no.
17:17Euro Disney?
17:20Two metres is nothing.
17:25Lilliput.
17:30Legoland.
17:31Oh, I love Legoland.
17:34It isn't going to be anything that you might think.
17:35So, Berlin, for example, topped with barbed wire, didn't have spikes.
17:38It's Oxford.
17:39What?
17:40I know.
17:41Is it a division between town and gown or something?
17:43Not really, it's between those that have and those that do not.
17:46For a quarter of a century, part of Oxford was divided by the infamous
17:49Cutterslow Walls.
17:50So, there were two housing estates that were built in the Cutterslow suburb
17:55and they were built right next door to each other.
17:57One was for council tenants and one was for private residents.
17:59Developed by a man called Clive Saxton of Urban Housing Company.
18:03And in 1934, Oxford City Council started relocating families from slum clearances into the estate.
18:10And Saxton was worried his houses wouldn't sell.
18:12So, he erected two walls down the street to separate his residents from the riff-raff.
18:17LAUGHTER
18:18So, council tenants started a petition to have these walls removed.
18:23And in 1938, the city council, against legal advice, did demolish the wall with a steamroller.
18:28And the developer sued and they had to rebuild the wall.
18:32World War II, a tank on an exercise went through the wall.
18:35And back it up, it went again.
18:37And then finally, the council got compulsory power of purchase in 1953 and in 1959 it was taken down.
18:43But in 2006, they put up a blue plaque to commemorate the fact.
18:47And there they were, the Cutterslow Walls finally demolished in 1959.
18:51How can a wall help you if you are feeling lonely?
18:55Is that a clue?
18:56LAUGHTER
18:57I think it's just a person with a wall who's a bit lonely.
19:00This is one of the weirder things, OK?
19:03I don't know what I actually think about this.
19:05You can buy the Berlin Wall in pill form.
19:11What?
19:12Yeah, OK.
19:13So, this is genuine and I have them here.
19:15This is from Ainsworth, the royal family's official homeopath.
19:19These are pieces of the original concrete from the Berlin Wall,
19:24finely ground down and diluted with sucrose, water and alcohol.
19:28So, this little bottle costs about £14.
19:30Now, it's homeopathy.
19:32Not everybody agrees that it works.
19:34But the pills supposedly help feelings of oppression and isolation.
19:40They're tiny little ones.
19:41Some reviews say it helps with headaches, helps with insomnia,
19:44but it is crushed up Berlin Wall mixed with...
19:48I've got six here, is that too many?
19:50LAUGHTER
19:51I think you'll turn into an extension.
19:53LAUGHTER
19:55You can also buy homeopathic mobile phone pills.
19:58What?
19:59Yeah.
20:00They contain a trace of a crushed up iPhone
20:02and supposedly helps you with technologically related anxiety.
20:05LAUGHTER
20:07I did read a story once about a guy who snorted his mother.
20:10Do you remember this?
20:11What?
20:12I mean...
20:13He had her formated and he snorted her ashes.
20:15What is wrong with you two?
20:17LAUGHTER
20:19Yeah, he snorted his mother.
20:20Why?
20:21I think he was on something.
20:23I think he'd taken a drink and his mother had been cremated
20:26and I think it was, like, wanted to be close to her
20:29or wanted to show off to his friends.
20:30I don't know.
20:31Anyway, there was a bit of an after party after the funeral
20:33and he snorted her.
20:35Chucked her out.
20:36He didn't do all of her.
20:37Not all.
20:38He couldn't do all of her.
20:39That's the whole weekend.
20:40Well, I mean, it's possible because Keith Richards claimed
20:44that he snorted his dad's ashes with cocaine.
20:46People tattoo themselves with the ashes of their dead loved ones.
20:49Yeah.
20:50Do they?
20:51You can get the ash then turned into a paint
20:53and then you can have your granny turned into a skull.
20:55Mmm.
20:56Imagine your granny being a tramp stamp.
20:59Like, it's just not right.
21:01I mean, my mother gets under my skin anyway, so...
21:05Do you remember your man who stole the girl that he fancied
21:08out of her tomb and then took her home
21:10and he used to dance with her at night?
21:12Yeah.
21:13Yeah.
21:14Yeah.
21:15And then the neighbours walked past and they noticed
21:17that he was dancing with this...
21:19Dead body.
21:20Dead body.
21:21And then the family were like,
21:22we knew it because he was obsessed with her.
21:24And they went and checked the tomb and she was gone.
21:27Do you know what I think?
21:28I think that we shouldn't bother to do any research at all.
21:30We should just have Andrew and Jane.
21:31LAUGHTER
21:33Why did the fall of Berlin Wall not go entirely
21:36according to plan?
21:37What do you reckon?
21:38It fell the wrong way.
21:39Did it?
21:40Did it?
21:41Did it?
21:42No.
21:43LAUGHTER
21:44No, but I was quite willing to go with it.
21:46LAUGHTER
21:47No, so there was an East German spokesman
21:49called Gunther Schabowski
21:51and he was asked about the travel restrictions and so on.
21:53And instead of saying the wall will come down tomorrow,
21:56he said immediately.
21:58And there was an instant crash of people trying to get to the wall.
22:01Wow.
22:02I mean, he later got fired.
22:03It was obviously...
22:04I'm not feeling any better.
22:06LAUGHTER
22:08They're not kicked in.
22:09Are you still feeling isolated and oppressed?
22:10Yeah.
22:11LAUGHTER
22:12I somehow feel like I won't be able to get to work in the morning,
22:15there'll be some obstacle and I won't see my cousin for 30 years.
22:18LAUGHTER
22:20There's a very interesting building in Chicago,
22:22a place called the Tribune Tower,
22:24and they've got something called the Wall of Walls,
22:26and it's made up of bits of wall from all over the world.
22:29But I mean, I'm talking about astonishing pieces of wall,
22:32the Great Pyramid and so on.
22:33So if you have a look,
22:34that's Hamlet's Castle, Elsinore, top left there,
22:36the Berlin Wall, top right,
22:38and the Great Wall of China, bottom right.
22:40But they've got them from all over the place,
22:42the Forbidden City, Pompeii.
22:44Now, what's the best time to sell a watch?
22:47I'm not a fan of watches.
22:49Really? Why?
22:50I find that lads, it's a bit of a dick-swinging competition,
22:53really, with the watches at times.
22:55It's random lads going around with these huge jokes,
22:57like they're scuba diving pilots.
22:59They've, like,
23:00they can deep sea dive and read the sky,
23:03and they're like, you're working marketing, get over it.
23:05LAUGHTER
23:07Do not wear a watch?
23:08I don't wear watches, don't believe in them.
23:10There you go.
23:11Wow, I mean, they're a real thing.
23:13LAUGHTER
23:16She's right, you don't need a watch.
23:18I don't have one either.
23:19If you're late, somebody will tell you.
23:21LAUGHTER
23:22So, in adverts and shop displays, that kind of thing,
23:24an analogue watch, someone with hands on it,
23:26was nearly always set at ten past ten.
23:29Why do you think that might be...?
23:31Because you can see the hands nice and neatly?
23:34Yes, is one reason.
23:35It'll look nice.
23:37It looks a little bit like a smile.
23:39So, the first thing is that you can see the brand.
23:41Usually that's where the brand is of the name of the watch,
23:43it's right in the middle there.
23:44If it was 20 past eight, it would look depressed.
23:46Yeah.
23:47But you know there's a thing called pareidolia?
23:49It's our tendency to see patterns in things.
23:51It's a bit like seeing animal shapes in clouds or faces in inanimate...
23:54Jesus in toast.
23:55Jesus in toast.
23:56LAUGHTER
23:57So, pareidolia, our tendency to see patterns in things,
23:59it reminds us subliminally, reminds us of a smile.
24:02This makes us happy, it makes us more likely to buy.
24:0420 past... Sorry, go on.
24:05Go on, what, darling?
24:06I was just saying 20 past 10 would look kind of fascist.
24:09I'm trying to think of the...
24:10Yeah.
24:11Yeah.
24:12Don't do that fascist.
24:13That would be nice.
24:14I think you've done more of a teapot than an attitude.
24:17LAUGHTER
24:19LAUGHTER
24:21I'd be a terrible fascist.
24:23I'd be like, come on, girls.
24:25LAUGHTER
24:28A group of psychologists looked into this 2017 to prove it
24:31and it does seem to be a fact that people at 10 past 10,
24:34it positively affects customers' brains.
24:36Women more so than men tend to be influenced by it.
24:39And the reverse effect, the thing that might make you sad,
24:41if 10 past 10 makes you...
24:42Yes, what would that be?
24:4320 past 8.
24:4420 past 8.
24:4520 past 8, yeah.
24:4620 past 8, it makes people sad.
24:48When they sell digital watches, what time do you think they put them to?
24:51It just flashes, double-eight, double-eight, double-eight,
24:53and then you throw it in a bin.
24:54LAUGHTER
24:58Your boobs.
24:598-0-0-8.
25:01Well, the ads still use 10 past 10 because it's sort of a watch tradition,
25:04although Apple Watch shows 10-09.
25:07I don't know whether they're saying,
25:08look at us, we're ahead of the curve.
25:10Yeah, yeah, yeah.
25:11Apple Watch is...
25:12This is an extraordinary thing.
25:13They launched in April 2015,
25:14and the last three months of 2017,
25:16so just two years after they started,
25:18Apple sold more watches than the whole of Switzerland.
25:21I know.
25:22It's an enormous amount.
25:24Anybody know who had the very first ever wristwatch?
25:27Ooh.
25:28Wasn't there anyone in the McNally family?
25:30Isn't it us?
25:31We don't believe in time.
25:33LAUGHTER
25:34Marie Antoinette.
25:35A little bit later on,
25:36Napoleon's youngest sister, Caroline Moura.
25:38Ah, yeah, her!
25:40LAUGHTER
25:411810, she commissioned the very first ever wristwatch,
25:45designed for her by the master Swiss watchmaker,
25:47Abraham Louis Breguet.
25:49And I thought it was the First World War.
25:51Well, it's interesting...
25:52First World War, they started putting it on their wrists.
25:54So, at first it was seen as a woman's thing,
25:56partly because of Caroline,
25:58but then gradually it becomes a thing for men.
26:00The Duke of Wellington, he also had a watch made by Breguet,
26:04which he bought while he occupied Paris
26:06after the Battle of Waterloo,
26:08but he didn't have a wristwatch.
26:09It was really primarily for women.
26:11In 2017, a Rolex once commissioned by Bao Dai,
26:14who's the last emperor of Vietnam,
26:16became the most expensive wristwatch ever sold at auction.
26:19It fetched $5 million for a single watch.
26:23Mm!
26:24Sold through Philips Watches, the auction house.
26:26Very kindly gave us this photograph.
26:28There's a really weird thing with Rolexes.
26:29They're more expensive second-hand than they are brand new.
26:31Yeah, and they're an investment thing, aren't they?
26:33Well, my father was a foreign correspondent
26:35and he always said you should wear a watch expensive enough
26:38to get you home from anywhere if you had to sell it.
26:42And he once, I remember,
26:43he came back from a war zone without his watch
26:45and we were very glad that he returned.
26:47So there'd be a reason there for you to...
26:49Yeah, fair enough.
26:51Maybe not one of just those Casios.
26:53Swatch watch isn't going to get you back very far.
26:56Exactly.
26:57How do you stop a bunch of drunks crashing into your window?
27:00Put the booze on the outside.
27:02Ah.
27:03Yeah.
27:04What might crash into a window?
27:06Well, an insect.
27:07Have you confused drunks with butterflies?
27:09Have you been an insect talking about?
27:11Birds.
27:12Yes.
27:13These are birds called waxwings
27:14and flocks of them can crash into glass when they're drunk.
27:18You can see them in the UK during the winter.
27:20They're called waxwings because of this lovely...
27:22Can you see the lovely red tips?
27:23Yeah.
27:24On some of the feathers.
27:25It's a bit like they've been dipped in that wax for sealing letters.
27:27Anyway, they mostly eat berries
27:29and they have an expandable pouch in their gullet
27:31where they store them
27:32and sometimes they ferment and the bird gets drunk
27:35and their blood alcohol can reach double the legal driving limit in Scotland.
27:40OK?
27:41Good job.
27:42And they go, oh, where's the window?
27:45And crashing into windows is a leading cause of death for birds.
27:49They reckon annually, in the UK, 33 million birds meet their end on a window.
27:57What?
27:58That's an insane amount!
27:59Oh, in the US, darling, the estimate is about a billion.
28:02So how do we stop this terrible bird massacre?
28:05Well...
28:06Keep the windows open.
28:07They can't see the difference between transparent glass and air.
28:11We've all walked into a window, haven't we?
28:13Yes, we have, yes.
28:14Indeed.
28:15You can put these bird stickers on the glass, but it would have to be lots and lots of them.
28:18It would not be sufficient to just put one or two.
28:20Better to put a cat sticker on the window.
28:22Well, the best thing to do is to reflect UV light.
28:27So birds can see UV light.
28:29We can't see it.
28:30So look at the difference between the picture on the left is what we see
28:33and then the picture on the right is what the birds can see.
28:36We don't really know why they evolved UV vision,
28:40but there is an Austrian company called Bird Shades
28:42and they produce giant stick-on sheets of UV reflective film for glass buildings.
28:47So this is actually looking through a window and to birds this would be dangerous,
28:53but if you put the bird shade on it, this giant stick-on sheet of UV,
28:58it looks like prison bars to the bird.
29:00This is what the bird would see and it reduces bird collisions by about 80%.
29:04So still not foolproof.
29:05Wow.
29:06Yeah.
29:07There was another window invention in Germany, not, I have to say, such a hit.
29:10Sky Deutschland in 2013, they developed something called talking windows for trains.
29:15What do you think it is?
29:16Oh, God.
29:20Yes, what?
29:21Set an alarm in the window.
29:22The window will tell you if you fall asleep, it'll be like,
29:25your stop, your stop, get up.
29:26That is a very, very good idea.
29:28I know.
29:29What it did was it played adverts if you rested your head against the glass.
29:32Oh.
29:33Yeah.
29:34And the sound was transmitted directly into your skull.
29:36Oh, God.
29:37Rather than through the air.
29:38You'd pull the emergency lever, wouldn't you?
29:40Yeah.
29:41Well, blocking your ears only made it louder.
29:43Weirdly, not popular.
29:44German ads as well.
29:45Would you like another sausage?
29:46What about a well-made diesel car?
29:47I tell you something I have seen, which is really ingenious way of using train windows,
30:00is to paint a series of pictures in a tunnel.
30:03And so it becomes an animated scene as the train passes.
30:06It's like those old flip books.
30:07Yes.
30:08It's fantastic.
30:09So I saw it in Montreal.
30:10It's been tried in Atlanta, New York and Athens and Seoul.
30:13It's usually an advertising campaign.
30:15But look, so as you're going past...
30:17Oh, yeah.
30:18Isn't it clever?
30:19Yeah, yeah.
30:20I was on the Eurostar.
30:21Yeah.
30:22And I said to them, you have to listen to that for the splash.
30:25LAUGHTER
30:26And that's when we were in the sea.
30:30And they...
30:31I didn't think they'd believe it.
30:32I thought, it's out.
30:33Shut up, Dad.
30:34That's what they normally say.
30:35And they're absolutely hook, line and sinker.
30:36They thought we were going to go in the sea.
30:38And they were a bit disappointed.
30:40But you can get a thing on your phone where if you...
30:43When you're on the Eurostar, like an app,
30:45and you can point it,
30:47and it looks like there are fish outside the windows.
30:51Ah!
30:52Right, let's wash our hands of windows and move on to another question.
30:55Imagine you have a big bowl of cream and a hand whisk.
30:59I want you to show me how you'd whip it.
31:01Now, you should have beside you an apron,
31:03because we don't want to get you all filthy,
31:04and a whisk and a bowl of cream.
31:06Ooh!
31:07So, let's have a go.
31:08There's your thing.
31:09I'm not going to bother doing it.
31:10Are you good at cooking, Joanne?
31:11No.
31:12Nothing's not your area.
31:13No.
31:14OK.
31:15I order a lot of food in.
31:16Right.
31:17Yeah, toast and stuff.
31:18Like, I'm...
31:19Yeah.
31:20I bought an air fryer to try and make an effort,
31:24but I just keep my keys in it now.
31:26Alan, you don't have a bowl of cream.
31:29Why not?
31:30Well, I'll explain you in a minute.
31:31You look like you could do a cooking show.
31:33Yeah!
31:34Very hot.
31:35Can we start?
31:36Yes, go ahead.
31:37Go ahead.
31:38Yeah.
31:39Sally's done that before.
31:40Yeah.
31:41Perfect.
31:42Yeah.
31:43Yeah.
31:44So, nobody so far is doing it correctly.
31:46Oh, what about?
31:47Is it that?
31:48No, it's still not that.
31:49Very technical.
31:50Yeah.
31:51So, the way that it...
31:52What are you doing?
31:53What are you doing?
31:54It's how I make money.
31:55Andrew's OnlyFans is popping off.
31:56You want to introduce air bubbles, right?
31:57Oh.
31:58The most effective way is to whip side to side, not round and round.
31:59Really?
32:00Yeah.
32:01Because it produces something called shearing forces.
32:02So, where the two forces go in opposite directions and they affect each other.
32:03So, Alan, you have got...
32:04Why am I not allowed to play?
32:05You've got a cocktail shaker because it's exactly the same shearing forces and you can easily
32:09make cream in a cocktail maker.
32:10No way!
32:11It's the same...
32:12No way!
32:13No, just go...
32:14Don't...
32:15I'm seeing them.
32:16It's not the Copacabana.
32:17I don't know.
32:18I've seen them do it.
32:19diy
32:24It's always like that.
32:25What you want with the shearing forces is you're going to whip it to whip side to side.
32:26dealing with them.
32:28And they affect each other.
32:30nimmt Forsyi because that's it.
32:31Because that's all right.
32:32Is there a little bit of a applt twenty- Krystal that you want?
32:35Or are you applying for it?
32:37Right now, you have a überlman.
32:38With the shearing forces is you want to make the liquid continually bash into itself. Okay, so
32:58Stop doing that
33:07Tom Cruise movie
33:08We were gonna do a test to see if it works and to see because anybody made enough cream that we could tip the bowl upside down and put it over your head
33:17Oh
33:19I
33:21Have not
33:23I
33:25I
33:27I
33:29I
33:31I
33:33I
33:35I
33:37I
33:39I
33:41I
33:43I
33:45I
33:47I
33:49I
33:51I
33:53I
33:55I
33:57I
33:59I
34:01I
34:03I
34:05I
34:07I
34:09I
34:11I
34:13I
34:15I
34:17I
34:19I
34:21I
34:23I
34:25I
34:27I
34:29I
34:31I
34:33I
34:35I
34:37I
34:39I
34:41I
34:43I
34:45I
34:47I
34:49I
34:51I
34:53I
34:55I
34:57I
34:59I
35:01I
35:03I
35:05I
35:07I
35:09I
35:11I
35:13I
35:15I
35:17I
35:19I
35:21I
35:23I
35:25I
35:27I
35:29I
35:31I
35:33I
35:35I
35:37I
35:39I
35:41I
35:43I
35:45I
35:47I
35:49I
35:51I
35:53I
35:55I
35:57I
35:59I
36:01I
36:03I
36:05I
36:07I
36:09I
36:11I
36:13I
36:15I
36:17I
36:19I
36:21I
36:23I
36:25I
36:27I
36:29I
36:31I
36:33I
36:35I
36:37I
36:39I
36:41I
36:43I
36:45I
36:47I
36:49I
36:51I
36:53I
36:55I
36:57I
36:59I
37:01I
37:03I
37:05I
37:07I
37:09I
37:11I
37:13I
37:15I
37:17I
37:19I
37:21I
37:23I
37:25I
37:27I
37:29I
37:31I
37:33I
37:35I
37:37I
37:39I
37:41I
37:43I
37:45I
37:47I
37:49I
37:51I
37:53I
37:55I
37:57I
37:59I
38:01I
38:03I
38:05I
38:07I
38:09I
38:11I
38:13I
38:15I
38:17I
38:19I
38:21I
38:23I
38:25I
38:27I
38:29I
38:31I
38:33I
38:35I
38:37I
38:39I
38:41I
38:43I
38:45I
38:47I
38:49I
38:51I
38:53I
38:55I
38:57I
38:59I
39:01I
39:03I
39:05I
39:07I
39:09I
39:11I
39:13I
39:15I
39:17I
39:19I
39:21I
39:23I
39:25I
39:27I
39:29I
39:31I
39:33I
39:35I
39:37I
39:39I
39:41I
39:43I
39:45I
39:47I
39:49I
39:51I
39:53I
39:55I
39:57I
39:59I
40:01I
40:03I
40:05I
40:07I
40:09I
40:11I
40:13I
40:15I
40:17I
40:19I
40:21I
40:23I
40:25I
40:27I
40:29I
40:31I
40:33I
40:35I
40:37I
40:39I
40:41I
40:43I
40:45I
40:47I
40:49I
40:51I
40:53I
40:55I
40:57I
40:59I
41:01I
41:03I
41:05I
41:07I
41:09I
41:11I
41:13I
41:15I
41:17I
41:19I
41:21I
41:23I
41:25I
41:27I
41:29I
41:31I
41:33I
41:35I
41:37I
41:39I
41:41I
41:43I
41:45I
41:47I
41:49I
41:51I
41:53I
41:55I
41:57I
41:59I
42:01I
42:03I
42:05I
42:07I
42:09I
42:11I
42:13I
42:15I
42:17I
42:19I
42:21I
42:23I
42:25I
42:27I
42:29I
42:31I
42:33I
42:35I
42:37I
42:39I
42:41I
42:43I
42:45I
42:47I
42:49I
42:51I
42:53I
42:55I
42:57I
42:59I
43:01I
43:03I
43:05I
43:07I
43:09I
43:11I
43:13I
43:15I
43:17I
43:19I
43:21I
43:23I
43:25I
43:27I
43:29I
43:31I
43:33I
43:35I
43:37I
43:39I
43:41I
43:43I
43:45I
43:47I
43:49I
43:51I
43:53I
43:55I
43:57I
43:59I
44:01I
44:03I
44:05I
44:07I
44:09I
44:11I
44:13I
44:15I
44:17I
44:19I
44:21I
44:23I
44:25I
Comments