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00:00In 1979 on a school skiing trip, PE teacher Tony Mammoth was engulfed by an avalanche.
00:07Perfectly preserved under the snow, he was found and miraculously brought back to life over 40 years later.
00:23Make it sparkle, please, boys.
00:25What are you doing? I'm kidding, boys!
00:30Whoa, whoa, whoa! Whoa!
00:33Fist only. Shake hands afterwards.
00:36Mr Mammoth, glad I caught you.
00:39Erm, I just wondered if there was possibly an option for you to cover my lesson later.
00:43I've got a bit of an emergency at home and you're the only one with a free lesson?
00:52No. No.
00:55Cheers.
01:03There's bits in that.
01:25Of course, paddle is a sport, Mammoth, plus the kids like it. And more importantly, the head of department, me, likes it. I think we should go to the equipment.
01:40Paddle? It's just tennis for fatties and old people. All the department needs is a new sand in the long jump pit.
01:49Hey! Where you going? Staff meeting?
01:50I've got an arrangement with Cowley. Everyone else goes to staff meetings, I work on my golf swing.
01:51Yeah, but Cowley's not here.
01:52What?
01:53He's been signed off.
01:54Stress.
01:55Stress.
01:56Stress?
01:57What's he going to be stressed about?
01:58Certain members of staff.
01:59Well, they're like Mr Evans, isn't it? I'll kill him.
02:00The LA have brought in a short-term interim head. They've got a new bloke filling in.
02:01Good morning, team! My name's Mr Reynolds, but you can call me Gus. I've heard great things about the club.
02:05What?
02:06I've got an arrangement with Cowley.
02:07What's he going to be stressed about?
02:08I've got an arrangement with Cowley. I've got an arrangement with Cowley.
02:11I've got an arrangement with Cowley. I've got an arrangement with Cowley.
02:14Everyone else goes to staff meetings, I work on my golf swing.
02:16Yeah, but Cowley's not here.
02:17What?
02:18He's been signed off.
02:19Stress.
02:20Stress?
02:21What's he going to be stressed about?
02:22Certain members of staff.
02:23Well, they're like Mr Evans, isn't it?
02:24Kill him.
02:25The LA have brought in a short-term interim head.
02:26They've got a new bloke filling in.
02:27Mr Reynolds, but you can call me Gus.
02:29I've heard great things about the crack squad here at Nolan High School, and it is an honour
02:35to be driving this ship forward as Mr Cowley takes some much-needed rest time.
02:40Right.
02:41Shall we have a look at your department action plans?
02:43Oh, thank you.
02:44Mammoth?
02:45Sorry, Mr, um...
02:47Mammoth?
02:48Mr Mammoth.
02:49This is an all-staff meeting.
02:51We've got an arrangement with Cowley.
02:52Yeah, and that's great, but I'd really love it to be an all-staff meeting.
02:56Cheers, buddy.
02:58Buddy.
02:59Well, I think I speak for everyone when I say I'm really excited.
03:04I feel like we need a last change around here.
03:08The skipper had this place running like a well-oiled machine.
03:11Well, he didn't address any of my concerns about staff in my department.
03:14Now, now, team.
03:16I'm sure we're all pulling in the same direction.
03:18Yes?
03:19Mr Mammoth, maybe you'd like to share the P department's action plan?
03:22Oh, here we go.
03:23Oh, here we go.
03:28The plan is...
03:31Excellent P.E.
03:35Could you elaborate on that?
03:38Excellent physical education.
03:42Yes.
03:43I think you might want to brush up on that a little bit, Mr Mammoth.
03:49Oh, God.
03:50Do you know what?
03:51I'm not open up with this.
03:52You may think you've won the battle, mate.
03:54But you haven't won the war.
03:56Revolution starts today.
03:58Who's with me?
03:59Oh, God, I'm not open up.
04:01Oh, God.
04:03Oh, God.
04:04Oh, God.
04:06Surprise!
04:07Oh, Pete, don't do that!
04:08Oh, my baby.
04:10My big, strapping, handsome, 18-year-old.
04:12Feels like, only yesterday I was kissing that face goodnight and tucking you in.
04:14My baby. My big, strapping, handsome 18-year-old.
04:18Feels like only yesterday I was kissing that face goodnight and tucking you in.
04:21You did do that yesterday.
04:23Now, we can't get the photographer today, but they're going to come tomorrow.
04:26Oh, Mum...
04:27What? It's tradition!
04:29You love our mum and son photo shoots.
04:32Do you open your present from your grandad?
04:35Yep.
04:36Oh.
04:37Well, I'd better go. I'm going to be late for school.
04:39School? On your birthday?
04:42Oh, I don't think so, my stuff. I've already phoned them and said you got measles.
04:45High five! It's foreheads!
04:51Now, I know you said you didn't want me to arrange anything.
04:53Yeah, because I don't.
04:54But you can't not have a party on your 18th.
04:57What would you like to do more than anything in this world?
05:00Ooh, there is actually a new manga exhibition.
05:03That's right. Hedge maze.
05:05I found this great one at a National Trust house.
05:08What's that? Has it got a tea room?
05:10Er, let me think. Only the best bloody tea room on TripAdvisor.
05:13I liked hedge mazes when I was a kid.
05:15I'm not really into them anymore.
05:17Fine. Okay. We'll cancel it if that's what you want.
05:19Yes, please.
05:20I'm lying. We're going. It's going to be great.
05:25Beep-bo.
05:26I don't think that balance spring's seen WD-40 since I was in short trousers.
05:33I think you've got your work cut out there, Peter.
05:36Good job I have plenty of time on my hands, John.
05:42It's very therapeutic, though.
05:44God, I haven't done anything like this for years.
05:46I just feel a total sense of calm.
05:53Skipper!
05:58Mr. Mammoth, how did you find me?
06:00Mrs. C told me where you were. Not straight away.
06:02I told an important police matter and you were facing some very serious allegations.
06:07What?
06:08I'm in the middle of something.
06:10What, playing with toys?
06:12What is this place?
06:13It's a share and repair group.
06:15People bring in broken things and we fix them.
06:18This cannot pay you more than a head teacher salary?
06:21I'm not being paid.
06:23Well, they're taking advantage of you.
06:25You ought to be ashamed of yourselves.
06:27Running up a sweatshop.
06:29No.
06:30It's just relaxing.
06:32Mindful.
06:33Well, for Christ's sake, Peter.
06:35Meanwhile, some young bucks in your school taking your job.
06:38Great.
06:39They found someone.
06:40Oh, they found someone, right?
06:41Oh, you better believe it.
06:42Yeah.
06:43A right piece of work.
06:44The way he spoke to me.
06:45Like I was shit on his shoes.
06:48I've seen power corrupt.
06:49But, hoo-hoo, this rounds.
06:51He's something else.
06:54Miss Mansford.
06:56Mr. Reynolds.
06:57Gus.
06:58Please.
06:59It's all right, if I call you Lucy.
07:01I thought you might like a little flat white.
07:03Er, you're a paddle enthusiast.
07:06Me too.
07:08Well, I was actually thinking of getting some paddle equipment for the school.
07:11Only it's not in the curriculum.
07:13Er, curriculums are flexible.
07:14Lucy, I think that's a great idea.
07:17If you're passionate about something, I will back you.
07:19You get that equipment ordered.
07:21Even, er, give you a little game, yeah?
07:24OK.
07:25Bye.
07:26I love you.
07:27I mean, I mean, thanks.
07:32We need you back, Skipper.
07:33But I've been signed off.
07:35Doctor says I need a break from work.
07:37Rubbish.
07:38Do you know how many head teachers I've worked under over the years that have had mental breakdowns?
07:42Hmm?
07:43All of them.
07:44I know a nutter when I see one.
07:46And you are not a nutter.
07:47I think people, myself included, find the word nutter extremely problematic.
07:54I've got no problem with it.
07:55It's very important for men to look after their mental health.
07:58Blokes don't have to talk about that sort of stuff, OK?
08:00Just bottle it up and get on with it!
08:02My dad never talked about his mental health.
08:04And he fought in the war.
08:06All right.
08:07He didn't like getting on boats.
08:09And didn't like loud noises.
08:10Had to keep him in the house on Guy Fawkes night with the dog.
08:14Sometimes we'd go on a bender for two or three weeks at a time.
08:19Never really spoke to me, mum or my sister.
08:23Never once slept through a whole night.
08:27But you know what?
08:29He never once complained.
08:31Stiff upper lip.
08:33Now, I know what you need to de-stress.
08:36I'd really rather stay here, Tony.
08:40What's wrong with your wrinkles?
08:43They're anti-clock hands.
08:46Oh.
08:47Oh.
08:48That did it.
08:50Peter, why don't you and your friend finish up now and call it a day?
08:54Yeah, lovely.
08:56Cheers.
09:0118.
09:02Oh.
09:03Seems like only yesterday you were just little boys.
09:09Yeah.
09:10Mind how things change.
09:11Can you believe I'm your boss?
09:13No one do now.
09:14Don't ruin it, Nathan.
09:17Written down a few words to mark the occasion.
09:19Is Mammoth coming?
09:20I'm only here because he said I had to be.
09:23Theo.
09:2418 years ago, you were just a little tiny acorn.
09:31Look at you now.
09:33You have grown into a mighty oak.
09:37Thanks, Mum.
09:38Please stop.
09:39Yes.
09:40The mighty oak has a point.
09:42Sorry.
09:43There's a lot of emotion going on right now.
09:48Come here, you.
09:50Oh.
09:52Now, we are going to have an amazing time.
09:57Roo for two more.
10:00Hello, sir.
10:02Hello, Theo.
10:03Many happy returns.
10:04Grandad, why have you brought my headteacher?
10:06I'm de-stressing him.
10:08Between us, he's had a massive mental breakdown.
10:11Gonna be crack as if when you skip.
10:13Well, I think you know everyone here, Mr Cowley.
10:16Except Harry.
10:18He's a stripper.
10:19Oh, you found the place.
10:20Good lad.
10:21Why did you hire me a male stripper?
10:23That was all they had left.
10:24It was that or nothing.
10:26Nothing would have been fine.
10:27So, do you want me to strip now, or...?
10:29Oh, no, no, no stripping today, thank you.
10:32But do you want to join us in the hedge maze?
10:34Oh, sure.
10:35I mean, you paid for the hour.
10:36Might as well.
10:37So, do you want me to strip in the maze, or...?
10:39No, keep your clothes on, Harry.
10:40I cannot stress that enough.
10:42It's the worst birthday ever.
10:45No, it's not.
10:47It's the best.
10:50Right, guys.
10:51First one to the middle is the Ciampione!
10:54Come on!
10:56Sorry I didn't get you anything, Theo, but I didn't know I was going to be here until Mr Mammoth.
11:01Don't even worry about it.
11:02I get it.
11:03You can't smoke that in here.
11:04In where?
11:05Where outside?
11:06If you want my advice...
11:07If I wanted your advice, it'd be about being a bellend.
11:10Hey.
11:11Fun day out.
11:12Bit of fresh air.
11:13Be raring to get back to work.
11:14Kick that cuckoo out of your nest.
11:15All right.
11:16Try it again.
11:17Hey!
11:18School trip's back on!
11:19No!
11:20Come on!
11:21Let's go!
11:22Come on, kids!
11:23This is a dead end.
11:24Shouldn't we go back?
11:25No.
11:26Here's good.
11:27I need a break from Mum, honestly.
11:28I swear.
11:29I swear.
11:30I swear.
11:31I swear.
11:32I swear.
11:33I swear.
11:34I swear.
11:35I swear.
11:36I swear.
11:37I swear.
11:38I swear.
11:39I swear.
11:40I swear.
11:41I swear.
11:42I swear.
11:43I swear.
11:44I swear.
11:45She's getting worse.
11:46Do you want me to say something to her at work?
11:48I can make it official.
11:50Verbal warning.
11:51No.
11:52Thanks.
11:53Oh!
11:54There he is!
11:55The birthday boy.
11:57Hi, Mum.
11:58How'd you find me?
11:59I'm your mum.
12:00I always know where you are.
12:01It's a little thing called mother's intuition.
12:03She put a tracking tile in your back pocket.
12:05Thanks a lot, Harry.
12:06Grass.
12:07Okay.
12:08So now that we're all here together, let's focus on the name.
12:13Let's focus on the maze.
12:14Which way, birthday boy?
12:16Don't care.
12:17Eeny, meeny, miny, moe.
12:18Please, Mum.
12:19Catch a tiger by its tail.
12:20If we just get to the middle, we can go home.
12:21If you squeals, let's go.
12:22I can't.
12:23I just can't do this anymore!
12:24What's the matter with you?
12:27Is it drugs?
12:29County lines?
12:31If you're in a gang, Theo, so help me.
12:33I'm just fed up of you treating me like a child.
12:35I'm 18 years old and I don't want you fussing over me anymore.
12:38I don't want to do the mother and son photo shoots.
12:40I hate hedge mazes.
12:41I'm going for a coffee.
12:45How am I supposed to get out of this place?
12:51Oh, we made it.
12:52Oh, yay.
12:53Championies.
12:54Oh, my God!
12:55Oh, my God!
12:56Oh, we made it!
12:58Oh, yay!
12:59Championies!
13:00Oh, my God!
13:01Oh, my God!
13:02Oh, my God!
13:03Oh!
13:04Oh, my God!
13:05Oh!
13:06Oh!
13:07Oh!
13:08Oh!
13:09Oh!
13:10Oh!
13:11Oh!
13:12Oh!
13:13Oh!
13:14Oh!
13:15Oh!
13:16Oh!
13:17Oh!
13:18Oh, yeah!
13:19Found the middle, Skipper!
13:20Oh!
13:21Oh!
13:22Oh!
13:23Oh!
13:24Oh!
13:25Oh!
13:26Bit late for that what's wrong with you? Is it him? I've paid you to take your kit off Harry
13:31If she wants them off they gotta come off. You can't be shy pal. Not on your game. Come on
13:48I made you a coffee and a keep cup to take to school right
13:52Put your name on it in case you lose it. I know what you're like
13:56Okay, so shall I see it pick up? Yes, I came home. What you can't walk home not with your shin splints the doctor's told you I
14:03Don't have shin splints. I
14:06Think I know my son's body better than any GP. God I can look after myself, you know
14:14Brilliant just brilliant
14:16Don't be telling yourself
14:18Theo's a man now doesn't need you anymore
14:22Sooner you leave home, then you've done your job
14:24You can just sit down there and wait to retire
14:27Maybe get a cat
14:28I'm allergic to cats. Well a dog then something you'll need something to deal with the loneliness because you will be lonely when Theo goes
14:35My friend Paul when his kids left home me, uh bought a pet tiger
14:39Raised him from a cub and everywhere together
14:42Absolutely inseparable they were
14:44Then in 1976 they changed the law and he had to get it destroyed
14:49Yeah, so that's that then
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15:22I got it covered
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18:50I'm sure I was catching mullet
18:52It was a scaring bays
19:02Oi! Sad case!
19:04How was your birthday party?
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