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00:00In 1979 on a school skiing trip, PE teacher Tony Mammoth was engulfed by an avalanche.
00:07Perfectly preserved under the snow, he was found and miraculously brought back to life over 40 years later.
00:23Make it sparkle, please, boys.
00:25What are you doing? I'm kidding, boys!
00:30Whoa, whoa, whoa! Whoa!
00:33Fist only. Shake hands afterwards.
00:36Mr Mammoth, glad I caught you.
00:39Erm, I just wondered if there was possibly an option for you to cover my lesson later.
00:43I've got a bit of an emergency at home and you're the only one with a free lesson?
00:52No. No.
00:55Cheers.
01:03There's bits in that.
01:25Of course, paddle is a sport, Mammoth, plus the kids like it. And more importantly, the head of department, me, likes it. I think we should go to the equipment.
01:40Paddle? It's just tennis for fatties and old people. All the department needs is a new sand in the long jump pit.
01:49Hey! Where you going? Staff meeting?
01:50I've got an arrangement with Cowley. Everyone else goes to staff meetings, I work on my golf swing.
01:51Yeah, but Cowley's not here.
01:52What?
01:53He's been signed off.
01:54Stress.
01:55Stress.
01:56Stress?
01:57What's he going to be stressed about?
01:58Certain members of staff.
01:59Well, they're like Mr Evans, isn't it? I'll kill him.
02:00The LA have brought in a short-term interim head. They've got a new bloke filling in.
02:01Good morning, team. My name's Mr Reynolds, but you can call me Gus. I've heard great things about the college.
02:02What?
02:03What's the name of the staff meeting?
02:04I've got an arrangement with Cowley.
02:05I've got an arrangement with Cowley.
02:06Everyone else goes to staff meetings, I work on my golf swing.
02:07Yeah, but Cowley's not here.
02:08What?
02:09He's been signed off.
02:10Stress.
02:11Stress?
02:12What's he going to be stressed about?
02:14Certain members of staff.
02:15Well, they're Mr Evans, isn't they? I'll kill him.
02:18The LA have brought in a short-term interim head. They've got a new bloke filling in.
02:24Good morning, team. My name's Mr Reynolds, but you can call me Gus.
02:29I've heard great things about the crack squad here at Nolan High School, and it is an honour to be driving this ship forward as Mr Cowley takes some much-needed rest time.
02:39Right. Shall we have a look at your department action plans?
02:43Oh, thank you.
02:44Mammoth?
02:45Sorry, Mr, um...
02:47Mammoth?
02:48Mr Mammoth. This is an all-staff meeting.
02:50We've got an arrangement with Cowley.
02:52Yeah, and that's great, but I'd really love it to be an all-staff meeting. Cheers, buddy.
02:57Buddy.
02:59Well, I think I speak for everyone when I say I'm really excited. I feel like we need a last change around here.
03:08The skipper had this place running like a well-oiled machine.
03:11Well, he didn't address any of my concerns about staff in my department.
03:14Now, now, team. I'm sure we're all pulling in the same direction, yes?
03:18Mr Mammoth, maybe you'd like to share the PE department's action plan.
03:23Oh, here we go.
03:28The plan is...
03:31Excellent PE.
03:35Could you elaborate on that?
03:38Excellent physical education.
03:40Yes.
03:41Well, I think you might want to brush up on that a little bit, Mr Mammoth.
03:49Do you know what?
03:50I've not been up with this.
03:52You may think you've won the battle, mate.
03:54But you haven't won the war.
03:56Revolution starts today.
03:58Who's with me?
03:59Surprise!
04:00No!
04:01Pete, don't do that!
04:02Oh, my baby.
04:03My big, strapping, handsome 18-year-old.
04:05Feels like only yesterday I was kissing that face goodnight and chucking you in.
04:20You did do that yesterday.
04:22Now, we can't get the photographer today, but they're going to come tomorrow.
04:25Oh, Mum...
04:26What?
04:27It's tradition.
04:28You love all mum and son photo shoots.
04:32Did you open your present from your grandad?
04:35Yep.
04:36Oh.
04:37Well, I'd better go.
04:38I'm going to be late for school.
04:39School?
04:40On your birthday?
04:41Oh, I don't think so, my stuff.
04:43I already phoned him and said you got measles.
04:45High five!
04:46It's foreheads!
04:51Now, I know you said you didn't want me to arrange anything.
04:53Yeah, because I don't.
04:54But you can't not have a party on your 18th.
04:56What would you like to do more than anything in this world?
04:59Oh, there is actually a new manga exhibition.
05:02That's right.
05:03Hedge maze.
05:04I found this great one at a National Trust house.
05:07What's that?
05:08Has it got a tea room?
05:09Er, let me think.
05:10Only the best bloody tea room on TripAdvisor.
05:12I liked hedge mazes when I was a kid.
05:15I'm not really into them anymore.
05:16Fine.
05:17OK.
05:18We'll cancel it if that's what you want.
05:19Yes, please.
05:20I'm lying.
05:21We're going.
05:22It's going to be great.
05:25People!
05:26I don't think that balance spring's seen WD-40 since I was in short trousers.
05:33I think you've got your work cut out there, Peter.
05:36Good job I have plenty of time on my hands, John.
05:39It's very therapeutic though.
05:44God, I haven't done anything like this for years.
05:48I just feel a total sense of calm.
05:53Skipper!
05:58Mr. Mammoth, how did you find me?
06:00Mrs. C told me where you were.
06:01Not straight away.
06:02I had told an important police matter and you were facing some very serious allegations.
06:07What?
06:08I'm in the middle of something.
06:10What?
06:11Playing with toys?
06:12What is this place?
06:13It's a share and repair group.
06:15People bring in broken things and we fix them.
06:18This cannot pay you more than a head teacher salary.
06:21I'm not being paid.
06:23Well, they're taking advantage of you.
06:25You ought to be ashamed of yourselves.
06:27Running up a sweatshop.
06:29No.
06:30It's just relaxing.
06:32Mindful.
06:33Well, for Christ's sake, Peter.
06:35Meanwhile, some young bucks in your school are taking your job.
06:37Create.
06:38They found someone.
06:40Oh, they found someone, right?
06:41Oh, you better believe it.
06:42Yeah.
06:43A right piece of work.
06:44The way he spoke to me.
06:45Like I was shit on his shoes.
06:47I've seen power corrupt.
06:48I've seen power corrupt.
06:49But hoo hoo.
06:50This Reynolds.
06:51He's something else.
06:54Miss Mansford.
06:56Mr Reynolds.
06:57Gus.
06:58Please.
06:59It's all right.
07:00I've called you Lucy.
07:01I thought you might like a little flat white.
07:05You're a paddle enthusiast.
07:06Me too.
07:08Well, I was actually thinking of getting some paddle equipment for the school and it's not
07:12in the curriculum.
07:13Curriculums are flexible.
07:14Lucy, I think that's a great idea.
07:16If you're passionate about something, I will back you.
07:19You get that equipment ordered.
07:21Even, er, give you a little game, yeah?
07:24Okay.
07:25Bye.
07:26I love you.
07:27I mean, I mean, thanks.
07:30We need you back, Skipper.
07:33But I've been signed off.
07:35Doctor says I need a break from work.
07:37Rubbish.
07:38Do you know how many head teachers I've worked under over the years that have had mental breakdowns?
07:42Hmm?
07:43All of them.
07:44I know a nutter when I see one.
07:46And you are not a nutter.
07:47I think people, myself included, find the word nutter extremely problematic.
07:54I've got no problem with it.
07:55It's very important for men to look after their mental health.
07:58Blokes don't have to talk about that sort of stuff, okay?
08:00Just bottle it up and get on with it.
08:02My dad never talked about his mental health.
08:04And he fought in the war.
08:06All right.
08:07He didn't like getting on boats.
08:09And didn't like loud noises.
08:11Had to keep him in the house on Guy Fawkes night with the dog.
08:15Sometimes we'd go on a bender for two or three weeks at a time.
08:19Never really spoke to me, mum or my sister.
08:23Never once slept through a whole night.
08:27But you know what?
08:29He never once complained.
08:31Stiff upper lip.
08:33Now, I know what you need to de-stress.
08:36I'd really rather stay here, Tony.
08:40What's wrong with your wrinkles?
08:42They're antique clock hands.
08:46Oh.
08:47Oh.
08:48Oh.
08:49That did it.
08:50Peter.
08:51Why don't you and your friend finish up now and call it a day?
08:55Yeah.
08:56Lovely.
08:57Cheers.
08:58Eighteen.
08:59Oh.
09:00Seems like only yesterday you were just little boys.
09:01Yeah.
09:02Mind how things change.
09:03Can you believe I'm your boss?
09:04No one do now.
09:05Don't ruin it, Nathan.
09:06Written down a few words to mark the occasion.
09:07Is Mammoth coming?
09:08I'm only here because he said I had to be.
09:09Theo.
09:10Eighteen years ago, you were just a little tiny acorn.
09:11Look at you now.
09:12You have grown into a mighty oak.
09:13Thanks, Mum.
09:14Please stop.
09:15Yes.
09:16The mighty oak has a point.
09:17Sorry, there's...
09:18Oh.
09:19There's a lot of emotion going on right now.
09:20Can I not be here?
09:21Oh.
09:22Oh.
09:23Yes.
09:24Oh, I'm sorry.
09:25Oh.
09:26Is Mammoth coming?
09:27The mercy of the mum?
09:28Is Mammoth coming?
09:29I'm only here because he said I had to be.
09:30Theo.
09:31Eighteen years ago, you were just a little tiny acorn.
09:34Look at you now.
09:36You have grown into a mighty oak.
09:37Thanks, Mum.
09:38Please stop.
09:39Yes.
09:40The mighty oak has a point.
09:42Sorry.
09:43Oh.
09:44There's a lot of emotion going on right now.
09:47Come here, you.
09:49Oh.
09:51Now, we are going to have an amazing time.
09:57Room for two more.
09:59Hello, sir.
10:01Hello, Theo. Many happy returns.
10:04Grandad, why have you brought my head to each other?
10:06I'm de-stressing him.
10:08Between us, he's had a massive mental breakdown.
10:11Can I be a cracker's even you skip?
10:13Well, I think you know everyone here, Mr Cowley.
10:16Except Harry.
10:18He's a stripper.
10:19Oh, you found the place. Good lad.
10:20Why did you hire me a male stripper?
10:23That was all they had left. It was that or nothing.
10:26Nothing would have been fine.
10:27So, do you want me to strip now, or...?
10:29Oh, no, no, no stripping today, thank you.
10:32But do you want to join us in the hedge maze?
10:34Oh, sure. I mean, you paid for the hour.
10:36Might as well. So, do you want me to strip in the maze, or...?
10:39No, keep your clothes on, Harry. I cannot stress that enough.
10:43It's the worst birthday ever.
10:45No, it's not.
10:47It's the best.
10:50Right, guys, first one to the middle is the championie!
10:53Come on!
10:56Sorry I didn't get you anything, Theo,
10:58but I didn't know he was going to be here until Mr Mammoth.
11:01Don't even worry about it. I get it.
11:02You can't smoke that in here.
11:04In where? We're outside.
11:06If you want my advice...
11:07If I wanted your advice,
11:08it'd be about being a bellend.
11:15Hey.
11:16Fun day out.
11:17Bit of fresh air.
11:19It'd be raring to get back to work.
11:20Kick that cuckoo out of your nest.
11:22All right.
11:23Try it again.
11:26Hey!
11:27School trip's back on!
11:28No!
11:29Come on!
11:30Let's go!
11:33Come on, kids!
11:38Oh, this is a dead end.
11:40Shouldn't we go back?
11:41No.
11:42Here's good.
11:43I need a break from Mum, honestly.
11:44I swear she's getting worse.
11:45Do you want me to say something to her at work?
11:48I can make it official.
11:50Verbal warning.
11:52No, thanks.
11:54Oh, there he is!
11:56The birthday boy.
11:58Hi, Mum.
11:58How'd you find me?
12:00I'm your mum.
12:01I always know where you are.
12:02It's a little thing called Mother's Intuition.
12:03Uh, she put a tracking tile in your back pocket.
12:06Thanks a lot, Harry.
12:07Grass.
12:09OK.
12:10So now that we're all here together,
12:12let's focus on the maze.
12:14Which way, birthday boy?
12:16Don't care.
12:16Heeny, meeny, miny, moe.
12:17Please, Mum.
12:18Catch a tiger by its tail.
12:19If we just get to the middle, we can go home.
12:21And the squeals, let's go.
12:21I can't do this anymore!
12:25What's the matter with you?
12:27Is it drugs?
12:30County lines?
12:31If you're in a gang, Theo, so help me.
12:32I'm just fed up of you treating me like a child.
12:35Or I'm 18 years old,
12:36and I don't want you fussing over me anymore.
12:37I don't want to do the mother and son photo shoots.
12:39I hate hedge mazes!
12:42I'm going for a coffee.
12:44How am I supposed to get out of this place?
12:59Oh, we made it.
13:01Oh, yay.
13:02Championies.
13:06Oh, no, no!
13:07Found the middle, skipper!
13:23I really don't think you should have chainsawed through the maze, Mr. Ballard.
13:26Bit late for that.
13:27What's wrong with you?
13:28Is it him?
13:29I've paid you to take your kit off, Harry.
13:31If she wants them off, they've got to come off.
13:33You can't be shy, pal.
13:35Not on your game.
13:36Come on.
13:36Nathan, no.
13:43Nathan, no.
13:47Hey!
13:49I made you a coffee and a keep cup to take to school.
13:51Right.
13:52Put your name on it in case you lose it.
13:53I know what you're like.
13:54OK, so shall I see you at pick-up?
13:58Yes, I came home.
13:59What?
14:00You can't walk home, not with your shin splints.
14:02The doctor's told you I don't have shin splints.
14:05I think I know my son's body better than any cheapie.
14:08God, I can look after myself, you know?
14:14Brilliant.
14:15Just brilliant.
14:16Don't be telling it yourself.
14:18Theo's a man now.
14:20Doesn't need you anymore.
14:22Sooner you leave home, then you've done your job.
14:24You're going to sit down there and wait to retire.
14:27Maybe get a cat.
14:28I'm allergic to cats.
14:30Well, a dog, then.
14:31Something.
14:31You'll need something to deal with the loneliness,
14:33because you will be lonely when Theo goes.
14:35My friend Paul, when his kids left home,
14:37he, er, bought a pet tiger.
14:39Raised it from a cub.
14:41They went everywhere together.
14:42Absolutely inseparable, they were.
14:45Then in 1976, they changed the law,
14:47and he had to get it destroyed.
14:49Yeah.
14:50So that's that, then.
14:51Skipper, he?
15:13Oh, hello again, Mr. Mammoth.
15:16Do you mean Peter?
15:17Everyone calls him Skipper.
15:18Shouldn't you be teaching?
15:20It's Tuesday morning.
15:21Don't worry about it.
15:22I've got it covered.
15:23Cast your minds back.
15:24The summer of 1977.
15:26The premier footballer of his generation,
15:28Mr. George Best,
15:29and the premier PE teacher of his generation,
15:31me,
15:32walk into Soho's famous
15:33Raymond Revue Bar
15:35with a couple of absolute stunners.
15:39And I mean stunners.
15:41Well, I'm afraid he's gone fishing.
15:43He's been a bit tense since yesterday.
15:45Had a bit of a stressful day.
15:47Really?
15:49Something has happened after I left.
15:52Just when I started to get him
15:53feeling like himself again,
15:54that's a shame.
15:56But don't you worry.
15:57Tony's going to look after him.
15:58Hell, if you're married to some nutter,
16:01eh, Mrs. C?
16:01See you later.
16:31Oh, God.
16:58Ahoy, Skipper!
17:01Oh!
17:04Hey, hey!
17:07Tony?
17:08You're here?
17:09Of course I am.
17:10Hey,
17:11you don't need to thank me.
17:13Whoa!
17:15So, uh,
17:16what are you fishing for?
17:17Mullet, actually.
17:17Look, I don't want to sound ungrateful,
17:19but really I'm here for the solitude.
17:21You and me both.
17:23What can be better, eh?
17:24Two lucky lads out on the open lake
17:25doing a spot of fishing,
17:28shouldn't have that brain of yours sorted.
17:29Then you can march back in that school
17:30with your head held high
17:31and kick that pretender
17:33out of your throne.
17:35God only knows what he's up to right now.
17:37Well,
17:38when I, uh,
17:40joined this, uh,
17:42school, uh,
17:43I
17:43didn't think I would
17:46really be able to
17:48fit in.
17:54All of you
17:55held me try
17:56to become
17:56the best version
17:57of myself.
17:59Oh, God.
18:06We need you back,
18:07Skipper.
18:10What use of a bait?
18:12Maggots.
18:13The man in the shop
18:14said they're the best for mullet.
18:15Woo-hoo-hoo!
18:16He saw you coming.
18:17They are rubbish.
18:19Nope,
18:19I've got just the thing.
18:20Now,
18:22if I remember correctly,
18:23the mullet
18:24is a very,
18:25very easily
18:26distracted fish.
18:27You must get their attention.
18:28That is why
18:29I always bring
18:30one of these.
18:35Hey,
18:36good sharp blast
18:37on that every couple of seconds.
18:38They'll be flying into your net.
18:40Get in the water.
18:40I'm sure
18:50I was catching mullet.
18:52What a scare
18:53in bears.
19:02Oi,
19:02sad case.
19:04How was your birthday party?
19:06I heard Cowley was there.
19:08Could you be any more tragic?
19:10You need to get a life,
19:11you wanker.
19:12Oi, Darren!
19:13If I wanted advice from you,
19:14it would be about
19:15being a bellend.
19:19What?
19:20Did you just say?
19:22Um,
19:23oh, God.
19:25It's fine.
19:26Distraction!
19:31One minute,
19:31they're a baby
19:32in your arms.
19:34Next minute,
19:34they don't need you anymore.
19:37You got kids, Ashley?
19:39No.
19:40I'm 16.
19:41That's a shame.
19:42Mum!
19:44Help!
19:44No!
19:46Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
19:47What the bloody hell
19:48do you think you're doing?
19:48Get out of my way!
19:49I'm going to batter him.
19:51You should be ashamed
19:51of yourself, Darren Malone.
19:53I know who you are.
19:54I know your mum.
19:55She goes to my Zumba class.
19:57I recognise you
19:58from your trip to Disneyland.
20:00What are you talking about?
20:01Your mum shared a picture
20:02on the WhatsApp group.
20:04You were crying your little eyes out
20:05because there was wasps
20:06all over your ice cream.
20:08I mean,
20:08it'd be a shame
20:09if one of those pictures
20:10ended up on another
20:10WhatsApp group,
20:11wouldn't it?
20:12Like a year 13 one.
20:14I'm in your tent.
20:15Whatever.
20:16Hey, hey, hey!
20:18Don't mess with the Taekwondo, Darren.
20:21I did two weeks straight
20:22in 2022.
20:23I enjoyed it,
20:24but clashed with
20:25Theo's clarinet lessons,
20:26but...
20:27Since I said
20:29I was a natural.
20:29You're weird.
20:32You're weird.
20:33Ugh!
20:37Right, everyone,
20:38into me!
20:41Ah!
20:43Thanks, mum.
20:44It's no biggie.
20:47So, do you
20:48want to go get
20:48a coffee together?
20:50No, can we just
20:50go home?
20:53Maybe then
20:53we can get that
20:54photo done together?
20:55Yeah.
20:59Yes.
21:01I can't believe
21:02we didn't catch any fish.
21:04Well, I caught a few.
21:04Hmm.
21:05Before you started
21:06getting the mullet's attention.
21:08Must be on the lake
21:09for what, six hours?
21:10About that.
21:12Before the police
21:13turned up.
21:13Yeah.
21:14Anyway,
21:15my room.
21:19It doesn't stop.
21:20There's no off switch.
21:22Roger,
21:22how do you do it?
21:24Roger?
21:27Sorry,
21:28what did you say?
21:29Mr. Mammoth.
21:30It's harder now
21:31than it was
21:32when I was at school.
21:33At least there
21:34he left at three.
21:35I didn't know
21:36what to do.
21:37How do you put up
21:38with him?
21:38Ha!
21:38It was harder
21:39in the past,
21:40but these days...
21:42Hearing aids?
21:43That's what
21:43Mammoth thinks, too.
21:45No.
21:46They just said, folks,
21:47absolute godsend.
21:49I'm currently
21:50listening to a playlist
21:51called
21:52Relaxing Rainforest.
21:54I just want him
21:55to respectfully
21:56go away.
21:58Ha!
21:59Good luck
22:00with that.
22:01I had a good run.
22:03Forty years
22:04without him.
22:08But then
22:09I always knew
22:10he'd come back.
22:13Godspeed,
22:14Peter.
22:15Right,
22:15here we go.
22:17Now,
22:17Skipper,
22:18I've been thinking
22:19about your old...
22:19Back in the day,
22:22the mere one
22:22of the boys
22:23fell a bit down.
22:24Needed to just
22:24perk our spirits up,
22:25maybe unwind,
22:26blow off some steam.
22:27we'd have a big
22:28weekend away.
22:29And I mean
22:29a big weekend away.
22:31We're talking
22:32Magaluf,
22:33Las Vegas,
22:34Tenby.
22:35But whatever it takes,
22:36Skipper...
22:36whatever it takes,
22:51I'm going to be there for you.
22:53Tony Mammoth is going to be by your side.
22:56Like a shadow.
22:57Like a shadow that's there all the time,
22:59even in the night time.
23:00Like a moon shadow.
23:01But not the Cat Stevens.
23:03Oh, God,
23:03I can't do this.
23:04OK,
23:05OK,
23:05I'll come back to school.
23:07Please,
23:08leave me alone.
23:09Good man.
23:11Well done.
23:11Well done, you.
23:12Well done us.
23:13What a team.
23:14What a team.
23:16Cheers.
23:16Now, I'm sure we're all grateful for the wonderful job Mr Reynolds has done,
23:28but I am returning full-time as of today.
23:33Three cheers for the Skipper.
23:34Hip, hip.
23:35Thank you, Mr Mammoth.
23:42Now,
23:43there's some good news
23:44and some bad.
23:46I'm afraid I'm going to have to reverse a number of the projects undertaken in my absence,
23:51including returning the new paddle equipment.
23:54You've got to be kidding me.
23:55The good news,
23:56we have managed to find the resources to refresh the sand in the long jump pit.
24:03Any questions?
24:07No?
24:08Great.
24:09Welcome back, Skipper.
24:11Welcome back.
24:23Shall I top up the car, sir?
24:25Cheers, Ben.
24:26Yes, sir.
24:27Can't I just practice my long jump, sir?
24:30Obviously not,
24:31because when the sun's out,
24:32just run about, remember?
24:35Cheers.
24:46Skipper!
24:47Don't want to think about sports day.
24:49I think we need to bring back metal javelins.
24:51I'm not going to break any records with foam ones.
24:53Great.
25:07Great.
25:09Beach, baby, beach, baby,
25:10give me your hand,
25:12give me something that I can remember.
25:15Just like before we could walk by the shore in the moonlight.
25:20Beach, baby, beach, baby,
25:25there on the sand
25:26From July to the end of September
25:29Surfing was fun,
25:31we'd be out in the sun every day
25:34...
25:35We'd be there.
25:36We'd be there.
25:37All right.
25:39We'd be there.
25:39We'd be there.
25:40Some gentle blood ces have been to be,
25:42many bees of themaya.
25:44We'd be there.
25:47We'd be there.
25:49We'd be there.
25:50You, as much as this can look for it,
25:51we'd be there.
25:52We'd be there.
25:55Here we're so deep29...
25:56You, as I'm happy you at home,
25:57can you,
25:57we'd be there.
25:59You.
26:01Careful,
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