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TVTranscript
00:00Well, this week on Tool Time, it's what's new.
00:07What's new with you, Al?
00:08That lint?
00:09No, it's always been there, isn't it?
00:11New shirt?
00:12No.
00:13Well, Tim, what's new with Binford is that they've just come up with a brand-new exterior wood filler.
00:18It's a quick-drying latex blend that will fill holes of any size.
00:23Hmm.
00:24Like this one back here?
00:25Tim, we'll be using it today on the door and wood frame.
00:29That's right.
00:30Just a little bit.
00:31You can cover up scratches, nicks, any hole you have in that door.
00:35A little dab will do ya.
00:41It's a pretty hip reference, Al. Or is it daddy-o?
00:44How about a hula hoop? Let's get some bell-bottoms. Come on.
00:48Well, we're also proud to introduce to you this.
00:51Binford's anodized aluminum kick plate.
00:54Kick plate? Hmm.
00:56Maybe something you should stall in the rear of your pants.
00:59Very often, in the humid days, sometimes a door will wedge itself shut.
01:05So you end up holding the groceries come in, you start kicking it.
01:08Honey! Okay, honey!
01:10Resulting in these unsightly kick marks.
01:13Exactly.
01:14But those are a memory now, because of the kick plate we've got.
01:18You've installed the bottom of the door now.
01:32Now you can kick till you're blue on the foot and it won't damage the door.
01:35Why don't you give it a shot, Al?
01:37Okay.
01:38Yeah, well.
01:39You can give it a kick.
01:40Let's show how much your music could have.
01:41You can...
01:42Honey!
01:43Honey!
01:44Honey!
01:45Honey!
01:46Honey!
01:47Real money!
01:48Honey!
01:49Honey!
01:54Come on!
01:56Oh!
01:57I
02:27guitar solo
02:57What do you think?
03:04Hi, Clubs. Hi, you guys.
03:11Hi, Dahl. Hey, Tim.
03:12Are you busy this weekend? Yeah.
03:15Look, I really need a favor.
03:17I'm thinking of buying some property.
03:19In my neighborhood? No.
03:21No.
03:22Good. See ya.
03:23Mark wants to sell me his place up at Saginaw Bay,
03:26and I was hoping maybe you could come
03:28and take a look at it with me.
03:29Saginaw Bay, I got relatives up there.
03:31They got some real expensive homes up there, Al.
03:33Well, how many bedrooms does Marv have?
03:35No bedrooms. How many bathrooms?
03:37No baths.
03:38Remind me not to stand too close to Marv.
03:41It's an ice fishing shanty.
03:43A shanty?
03:44Yeah, you know, it's a house.
03:45Sits right there on the lake,
03:47and you can fish right through a hole in the floor.
03:50What kind of ice are you fishing for?
03:51Cubed? Crushed?
03:52Well, I really would value your opinion.
03:57I can give it to you right now.
03:58You want to buy a shack with no bedrooms,
04:00no baths that sits on a frozen lake.
04:02Let me just type that in the old real estate computer.
04:06The answer's coming up.
04:07Don't buy it.
04:09Tim, I'd really like you to look at it with me.
04:11Besides, we can spend some time together,
04:14talk a little, catch some fish.
04:15But why are you asking me?
04:16Why don't you ask Eileen?
04:18Marv needs an answer by this weekend,
04:19and Eileen's going to be your house Saturday.
04:22What?
04:24Yeah, Jill invited the gals over to watch musicals.
04:27The gals over?
04:29Was that this weekend she did that?
04:30Yeah, yeah, and they're going to talk about their guys.
04:34And they said, uh,
04:35they said something about removing unnecessary body hair.
04:37What time do you want to pick me up?
04:46How's 5.30 a.m.?
04:48You stop by 5.30 a.m.,
04:50I'll remove your unnecessary body hair.
04:53Ice fishing in January.
04:55We are so jealous.
04:57Well, Dad, did you hear what the weatherman said?
04:59He said it's going to be seven below zero.
05:02Thank you, Mr. Thermometer.
05:05Yeah, and that's a high.
05:07It's not going to be that bad.
05:09Marv's shanty is real custom.
05:10He's got insulation in there, a heater, bunks, shelves, the works.
05:14It's a real cool place.
05:15You know, I better make room in the freezer
05:17for all the fish Dad's going to catch.
05:22Let's do it.
05:26You guys got to stop teasing me.
05:28I'm starting to get real upset.
05:29I wish you'd stop it.
05:30And I don't care what you say,
05:31I'd rather be ice fishing any time
05:34than be stuck here with women and these.
05:37Gigi.
05:40Funny girl.
05:44The King and I.
05:46Come on.
05:47Dad, what's The King and I?
05:49Some film about Elvis.
05:55I'll get it.
05:57Hi, El.
05:58Morning.
05:58Hi.
05:58Eileen.
06:00How come you're here so early?
06:00Hi.
06:01I just wanted to drop Al off
06:02so I could see him
06:03until the last possible second.
06:06That's so sweet.
06:09You want some coffee?
06:10Thanks.
06:15Nice hat.
06:16You drive her fly over there.
06:20I'm really excited about our girls-only party.
06:22Can I bring anything?
06:23How about some men?
06:25You want some cream?
06:26Yes, please.
06:28Well, I know it's just one day,
06:30but I hope you won't forget the owl man.
06:32I'll be thinking of you the whole time.
06:35And I want to know everything that happens
06:36while you're up there, okay?
06:38I certainly hope you won't forget the Tim man.
06:41I'll keep the oil can ready.
06:45Have a good time.
06:46See you later.
06:47Guys, group hug.
06:49Oh, man.
06:52Dad, we're too old for this.
06:54You're too old for a group hug?
06:56It's back to individual ones, then.
07:09Structurally, the thing looks real sound, Al.
07:11Yeah.
07:15Oh, this is great!
07:17Great!
07:17This is Marv's idea of a vacation?
07:28Remind me not to use his travel agent.
07:30I think this is paradise on ice.
07:34Well, why don't you go unpack,
07:35and I'll putter around here in the living room.
07:40Ah, come on, Tim.
07:42Before you put it down,
07:43I think maybe you should just relax
07:46and enjoy the whole ice fishing experience.
07:50You're right, Al.
07:51Gonna unpack my fishing gear,
07:53hot rod magazines,
07:55radio,
07:58and my little personal TV.
08:02You brought a TV?
08:03You betcha.
08:05Maybe we could watch Gilligan's Island.
08:08See how seven people feel
08:10about being straight in the middle of nowhere.
08:12Ah, come on, Tim.
08:15Oh, I brought something for you.
08:18Yeah, what's that?
08:19Binford's new Guy-on-the-Go toiletries.
08:22Hand cleaner.
08:24Will it get up any smell?
08:27Smells like sawdust.
08:28I like it.
08:34All right, well,
08:36I don't know about you,
08:37but I'm ready to fish.
08:39How about it?
08:41Cowboy.
08:43Looks like we're frozen over here.
08:44Well, we'll come back this summer.
08:46No, no, no, come on, Jim.
08:47Why don't you chisel a hole
08:49and I'll bait the hooks?
08:51Use a crowbar?
08:51You got a crowbar?
08:52I got a chisel right here.
08:54All right.
08:55Small hole, huh?
08:56Uh-huh, yeah,
08:57that ought to do us.
08:58Oh, boy.
08:59Oh, boy.
08:59Were you real attached to that chisel?
09:24Jim, that chisel's been in my family for generations.
09:29That was handed down to me
09:30by my great-grandfather, Hal Borland.
09:33Well, it's not like it was new.
09:41How long we got to keep this stuff on?
09:44Oh, just another minute.
09:45That was such a good movie.
09:56I'm rewinding.
09:57I love Gigi.
09:59Why can't life be like that?
10:01You're always in France.
10:02You drink champagne and you sing.
10:05My life is a lot like Gigi's,
10:07except I live in Detroit,
10:08drink diet soda,
10:09and my husband grunts.
10:10What do you want to watch next?
10:13Oh, wait.
10:14I brought The Long Hot Summer with Paul Newman.
10:16I love Paul Newman.
10:19Me, too.
10:20Doesn't Paul Newman remind you of Al?
10:25We're bleached.
10:27Let's go.
10:27Oh, it's good.
10:28It stings.
10:30Well, Eileen,
10:30I'm glad to hear that romance isn't dead.
10:33I remember when my husband was romantic.
10:35Every day when Joe came home from the slaughterhouse,
10:37he'd bring me a heart-shaped hamburger patty.
10:39Really?
10:41Tim is at his most romantic
10:42during the dollar-day sale at Sears.
10:44All I gotta do is wear a negligee
10:46and hold up a tool towel on.
10:48I can't imagine Al ever losing his flair for romance.
10:52That's because you're still at the stage
10:53where he's serenading you with violins at dinner.
10:56In six months,
10:57the only serenading you're gonna hear
10:58is his burping on the way to the bathroom.
11:02Yeah, and once inside,
11:03there's a serenade you really don't wanna hear.
11:07Inception's terrible in here.
11:17I can't tell whether Gilligan got him off the island
11:19or the Pistons are about to score.
11:22Someone's driving the lane.
11:23Go, go!
11:24It's Thurston Howell!
11:25Lovey,
11:26I just slammed the ball, lovey.
11:28Come here and give me a big smack-a-rooney, lovey.
11:30Come on, Jim.
11:31We're here to fish.
11:32Don't tell me.
11:33Tell the fish.
11:34I've been here four hours without a bite.
11:36You know, there's a lot more to fishing
11:38than just catching fish.
11:40It's about being out in the wilderness,
11:42getting away from our women
11:43and our job.
11:46It's just men spending time together.
11:51How we spend all day together.
11:53Yeah, but we never get a chance to talk that often.
11:57You wanna talk?
11:58Let's talk.
11:59I'll turn the sound down.
12:00You're not gonna turn it off?
12:04No, I can watch this, listen to you.
12:05I do it with Jill all the time.
12:09Well, you know, there's...
12:10there's an awful lot going on in my life right now.
12:13What?
12:21Uh, never mind.
12:23Let's just fish.
12:24All right, half time.
12:26Hey, why don't we just fish?
12:27Hold this.
12:29What are you doing?
12:31I'm gonna speed up the process a little bit.
12:34Make the hole bigger.
12:35Tim, leave the floor alone.
12:37The hole is fine.
12:39It's a standard-sized hole.
12:40Standard shmandered.
12:42Increase the size of the hole,
12:44you double your chances of catching fish.
12:46Perch are not that big.
12:48Look, open the hole.
12:50We might get bigger fish.
12:53I don't think you should do this, Tim.
12:54Trust me, Al.
12:56Oh, my God!
12:58Tim!
12:59Tim!
13:01Tim!
13:02Oh!
13:03Tim!
13:05You know, though,
13:09once you get in there,
13:10it's kind of exhilarating.
13:16Wait!
13:20Are you warmer now?
13:25Thanks.
13:26I can't believe you came up here
13:29without a change of clothes.
13:32Well, I didn't intend on falling through the ice, Al.
13:34Everybody knows that when you come on a trip like this,
13:38you have to plan for every possible contingency.
13:41And with you,
13:42every contingency is possible.
13:46Well, this contingency is your fault.
13:49Fine.
13:50Just lucky that I brought an extra set of clothes.
13:53Oh, yeah, I'm real lucky.
14:09What is this?
14:10One-size-fits-Al?
14:11Just, here, give me the keys to the car.
14:16I'll take this stuff and get the car warmed up.
14:18Gladly.
14:19You know, Tim, I was hoping that this trip,
14:21you know, we could relax
14:22and talk on a more personal level.
14:24How much more personal can we get?
14:26I'm wearing your underwear.
14:29What I meant was talk about our hopes,
14:31our fears.
14:32You didn't lose the car keys, did you?
14:39Hope I didn't.
14:41But I fear I did.
14:47You want to go in?
14:48I thought you said waxing your legs
15:00didn't hurt that much.
15:03Oh, it gets easier every time you do it.
15:10Maria, you're dipping the bread in the hot wax.
15:13This is the fondue.
15:18That's all right.
15:20I'll take it home to Joe.
15:21He'll eat anything.
15:23So, you're on a desert island.
15:25You can be with one man for the rest of your life.
15:28Who do you pick?
15:30Al.
15:32You can't pick somebody you know.
15:34This is a fantasy.
15:35Come on, Eileen, live a little.
15:37All right.
15:39There is somebody I have always had a little thing for.
15:42One of the sexiest men of all time.
15:44Pierre Fouchard.
15:46Oh, that sounds hot.
15:48Is he some kind of French actor or something?
15:50Nope.
15:50He was the father of modern dentistry.
15:52That would have been my second guess.
15:55He has a beard just like Al.
15:57You like beards, huh?
15:59Mm-hmm.
16:00Me, I'm a tush girl.
16:02Did you ever see the buns on Baryshnikov?
16:04Oh, very nice buns.
16:07But I like a man who makes me laugh.
16:10I think that the perfect man is Harpo Marx.
16:16No, he's hilarious, and he never says a word.
16:21Ah!
16:22Ah!
16:22Well, there's, uh, no sign of Wilson, but it's so dark out there, how could you tell?
16:34Tim, what are you doing?
16:36Yeah.
16:36I'm using my know-how to double the heat out of this thing.
16:41Would that be the same know-how you use to double the size of the hole?
16:47Must be great.
16:48Marvel, love it.
16:49I wish you wouldn't fiddle with these things.
16:53Hi-ho, stranded neighbors.
16:57Come on in, Wilson.
16:58Hey, Wilson.
17:00Oh, thanks for driving up.
17:02Mm-hmm.
17:03All right, Tim, here's your extra set of keys.
17:05Thanks.
17:06Here's an old pair of my shoes.
17:08All right.
17:10Where did you get these fish?
17:18Well, when I was looking for your shanty, I found some very nice people whose cooler was overflowing.
17:23You know, they say the fishing's the best it's been up here in 12 years.
17:26I do not understand why we have not caught any fish.
17:32What is that rether pungent aroma?
17:35Oh, it's Tim's hand cleaner over there.
17:39Tim, I think I can explain to you why you didn't catch anything.
17:42You know, it's a well-known fact that fish are attracted to bait by the scent.
17:46However, if the bait is overridden with a more powerful smell, such as cologne or hand cleaner that smells like sawdust,
17:54then instead the fish are repelled.
18:03Nice going, Tim.
18:04You said you like the smell of that.
18:05Well, I'm not a fish.
18:08Well, I think I'll just go pack the gear up in the car and, uh...
18:14Oh, well, here.
18:16We don't want to forget your precious TV.
18:18Maybe you'll get better reception on the way home.
18:26Trouble on the ice, Tim?
18:28Yeah, the husky's misbehaving.
18:31Well, that's too bad.
18:33Trip like this ought to be a good opportunity for men to spend some time together.
18:37Talk, share some laughs.
18:41That's all you want to do is talk.
18:43Oh, what'd you talk about?
18:45I don't know, I wasn't listening to him.
18:48Well, it doesn't sound like you're being very receptive.
18:52What kind of guy wants to be outdoors and listen to another man talk about what's bugging him?
18:57Like you and I do in the backyard?
18:59Yeah.
18:59Yeah.
18:59You see, Tim, friendship is a symbiotic relationship.
19:07Two people have to contribute equally.
19:09Yeah, but it's different with you and me.
19:11Well, why is it different?
19:14There's a fence.
19:17Well, fence or no fence, I think Al just wanted you to listen.
19:23Thanks again, Wilson, for coming all the way up.
19:26Yeah, we'll meet you at your car while I caravan home.
19:28Okay, yes, indeed.
19:32You got everything?
19:34Almost.
19:35You know, a while ago, you were talking about how your life's become real full.
19:40What were you talking about?
19:41Ah, Tim, I don't want to talk about it now.
19:43Oh, come on.
19:45Good friendships are kumbayotic.
19:53You want to sing camp songs?
19:54I was just wondering, how long have you been dating Eileen now?
19:59It's got to be five months, right?
20:00Well, actually, it's four months and 13 days.
20:03Yeah.
20:04Yeah, actually, you know, well, with you and Jill, how long was it before you realized she was the one?
20:11When she told me.
20:15You turned off the heater, right?
20:16What do you think I am, an idiot?
20:17Hi.
20:29Hi.
20:30How was your trip?
20:31Good.
20:35How was your hair removal party?
20:37Well, you be the judge.
20:41Ooh.
20:42Oh.
20:43Well, you missed a little patch right here.
20:45I did not.
20:48So all your fish are in here?
20:51Actually, I had Al keep in his refrigerator.
20:55You didn't catch any, did you?
20:57Not even when I fell in.
21:01You fell in?
21:02Are you all right?
21:03Yeah, I'm fine.
21:04Well, what happened?
21:05Tell me all about it.
21:06I don't want to talk about it.
21:06I spent the last two and a half hours driving with Al, talking with him about everything.
21:16Boyhood, memories, his relationship with Eileen, even why he wears flannel.
21:21Why does he wear flannel?
21:22It's kind of a neat story, really.
21:24When his dad had his workshop out behind the house, it was very cold.
21:27And when Al was a little kid, he came out and worked, and it was so cold, his dad put these big flannel shirts on him.
21:30Well, I think that's nice that you two shared so much.
21:34Yeah?
21:34Did you help him decide whether he should buy Mar's shanty?
21:38Yeah.
21:41What did he decide?
21:43What did he decide?
21:44He, um...
21:46Um...
21:47He figured that since it burnt down, it wasn't a good time to buy it.
21:52Did you burn down Mar's shanty?
21:54What is it with you?
21:56I walked through the door, you immediately accused me of burning it down.
21:59Why?
21:59Why?
21:59Why?
22:00Tim.
22:01Right to the ground.
22:02Right...
22:02Ashes.
22:06Oh, no.
22:07I'm sure he's got an insurance policy that covers a shanty clause in there.
22:12Tim, there is no such thing as shanty clause.
22:19Well, it'll be all right.
22:20Marv and I go way back.
22:22He'll understand.
22:29This fondue will put hair in your shanty clause.
22:46No, Tim, this fondue will take the hair right off your chest.
22:58I'll see you next time.
22:59I'll see you next time.
23:00I'll see you next time.
23:00I'll see you next time.
23:01I'll see you next time.
23:01I'll see you next time.
23:02I'll see you next time.
23:03I'll see you next time.
23:03I'll see you next time.
23:04I'll see you next time.
23:04I'll see you next time.
23:05I'll see you next time.
23:05I'll see you next time.
23:06I'll see you next time.
23:07I'll see you next time.
23:08I'll see you next time.
23:09I'll see you next time.
23:10I'll see you next time.
23:11One side.
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