Home Improvement_S03E06_Crazy for You

think tv

🌍💪 750K+ views on Pexels!  Boost your tourism by 30% with my Sporty Tourist Vision 🏖️🎨  From the 1st Creative Tourist Website — for any park, hotel, or island! 🌴 👉 SUBSCRIBE to get offers and more =   https://shorturl.at/Xp513     #PEXELS   #TOURISM  #SPORTTOURISM #TRAVEL #ART #HOTEL #PARK #BASKETBALL #FAMILYVACATION    @nba   @tourism @hotel @travel  #gift  #christmas

Transcript

00:00You see what happens when you don't floss hey all right blood capsules cool and you

00:28know it goes really good with those why puss pellets yellow and green ones enough for all you guys but

00:38don't squeeze them until Halloween all right all right oh dad now we have all this Halloween

00:45junk skeletons brains and mummy wrapping tape don't have wrapping tape you don't want to see

00:51your mummy naked dad I don't see any rubber guts how can we have a Halloween party without rubber

01:00guts let me tell you something little mister when I was your age we didn't have rubber guts we had

01:08to use real guts this is why you're lucky to have two parents I got these from the rubber guts catalog

01:16here's your stomach your large intestine a spleen some colon thank you sweet oh good you got the

01:25carrot cake yeah they did a great job in this they get all those candy corns the shape of

01:29jack-o-liners look at this thing oh

01:30oh

01:31oh

01:33oh

01:35oh

01:37oh

01:39oh

01:41oh

01:43oh

01:44oh

01:45oh

01:46oh

01:47oh

01:48oh

01:49oh

01:50oh

01:51oh

01:52oh

01:53oh

01:55oh

01:56oh

01:57oh

01:58oh

02:24oh

02:26oh

02:27And as you can see, with the Binford Light Oak stain, you get a nice,

02:57honey-colored, finish.

03:07That's right, Al. When you're all finished with this, you want to put a thin coat of Binford polyurethane on there.

03:13And now Binford provides this in an economical two-gallon size. Al, you want to pop the top? We'll demonstrate.

03:18Be glad to, Tim.

03:18All right.

03:19I can't believe you fell for the old head and the polyurethane gag.

03:34Well, I guess this must mean Halloween is just around the corner. Or else you've found a sick new way to celebrate Columbus Day.

03:42Yep. Halloween.

03:44No, no, no, no, no!

03:48I can see by the clock on the wall that we have way too many minutes left.

03:56So you do a quick pose-off, Al and I.

03:58Come on, Maria. Show me your biceps.

04:03Or we could get to some viewer mail.

04:05Heidi, the mail, please.

04:06Here you go, Tim. This one came with cookies.

04:11Hey. And a rose!

04:13All right.

04:15Dear Tim, I am your biggest fan. I watch you every day and dream about you every night.

04:24I hope you like these cookies they bake. Well, you bet I will.

04:27Your admirer of Rose. You know, this is the second letter I've gotten from Rose this week.

04:31Did you hear that, Al? She dreams about me every night.

04:34It sounds like she has a sleeping disorder.

04:47Al, don't be jealous. Don't be jealous.

04:50You'll get some letters one day. Just change your name to occupant.

04:57Well, that wouldn't be necessary, Tim.

04:59Heidi, my mail, please.

05:04Here you go, Al.

05:06Thank you, Heidi.

05:07You're welcome.

05:09Tim's face appears green. Don't adjust your TV. It's just envy.

05:14Yeah, but anybody can get letters like that.

05:17I got cookies.

05:20Boys?

05:21I really am grateful to you for helping me with this party.

05:32What else have I got to do? Joe's out of town.

05:35I could think of a few things I'd like to do when Tim's out of town.

05:38Like what?

05:41Change the locks.

05:42Hi, honey.

05:43Whoa.

05:44You should start scrubbing with a stronger soap.

05:57Oh, no. What's gonna pop out of that?

05:59Nothing. That's some cookies a fan made me.

06:01Yeah, right. You have a fan.

06:03Her name is Rose and she sent me two letters this week.

06:09Uh-huh.

06:10That's neat.

06:11Oh, no. Don't touch that.

06:12It's probably full of slimy eyeballs or something.

06:15Oh, they're cookies. Give me one.

06:17You made fun of me.

06:18How about me? How about me?

06:19No, you're her friend.

06:23Hey, guys.

06:24Hi, Mom.

06:25Hi, sweetie.

06:26Ooh, nice shorts.

06:27Yeah?

06:29Where do you see they get your mom, huh?

06:31I got her the biggest, hairiest mole they make.

06:34Ooh.

06:36This is gonna go real well with that armpit hair you gave me last Halloween.

06:39Ooh.

06:40Is that good?

06:41Hey, guys.

06:42Have you decided where you're gonna be for Halloween?

06:43We're gonna be the Three Stooges.

06:45Yes!

06:46That's great!

06:48I grew up with those guys.

06:49I love those guys.

06:50The Stooges.

06:51Moe for his leadership qualities.

06:54Larry for his quick wit.

06:55Curly for his ability to go...

07:00Of all the people in the world, why do you wanna be the Stooges?

07:02They're obnoxious.

07:03They're constantly hitting each other.

07:04It just became clear.

07:07What is it with the Stooges, anyway?

07:09All men seem to adore them.

07:10I mean, even the smart ones.

07:12I don't think that Einstein did.

07:14Are you kidding?

07:15Einstein was a big Stooge fan.

07:17Why do you think he wore his hair like Larry's?

07:25Yeah.

07:26That'll work.

07:27That'll scare everybody.

07:30Oh.

07:31Hang in there.

07:36Yellow.

07:37Happy Halloween.

07:38Boo.

07:41Rose.

07:43Rose.

07:44Cookie Rose.

07:45Yes.

07:46Thank you very much.

07:47It was very nice...

07:48What?

07:49You're in love with me.

07:50You want me.

07:52It's a gag, Jill.

07:53It's not that funny.

07:55Of course you're not, Jill.

07:56Oh, no.

07:57No.

07:58How silly of me.

07:59No, I don't want...

08:00No.

08:01No.

08:02In that case, I love you too.

08:03Yes.

08:04We should go alone.

08:06Jill won't know.

08:07Yeah, my wife.

08:08She's real slow.

08:11Excuse me.

08:12Hi, Jill.

08:13Yeah.

08:14Hi, Jill.

08:15Jill, you're not on the phone.

08:16And you call me slow?

08:19That means this is Rose.

08:20The woman that sent me the cookie.

08:21She says she wants me.

08:22Tell her she can have you.

08:25You tell her.

08:26Uh, you can have him.

08:28Hello?

08:29Hello?

08:30There is no one here, Tim.

08:31You are so full of...

08:32What, is a little head gonna pop out of here now?

08:34No.

08:37She was on the phone.

08:38How could you get our number?

08:39It's unlisted.

08:40How the heck do I know?

08:41But Rose was on the phone.

08:43Yeah, right.

08:44Look, Tim, I know how badly you won a fan.

08:46Just hang in there.

08:47One of these days, you'll get one.

08:56Hey, Wilson.

08:57Hi-dee-ho.

08:58And boo.

08:59Good neighbor.

09:01Hey, let me ask you a question.

09:03Mm-hmm.

09:04Let's say you on my phone number didn't have it.

09:06How would you go about getting it?

09:07Well, I already have your phone number, Tim.

09:09I know.

09:10What if you didn't have it?

09:11I suppose I'd just ask you for it.

09:12But what if you didn't know me?

09:13Then why would I want to call you?

09:18Boy, I wish I was friendly with some of the other neighbors around here.

09:24What is troubling you, my little fence friend?

09:26I got kind of an odd call by this woman who sent me a fan later at work.

09:31Mm-hmm.

09:32My phone number's unlisted.

09:33Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

09:36That is a concern.

09:37I hope you're not dealing with an obsessed fan.

09:39Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

09:40No, no, no, no, no, no, Tim.

09:41Sometimes they see somebody on TV, they start idolizing that person.

09:45Sometimes they even send them gifts.

09:51Like chocolate macadamia nut cookies?

09:53Mm-hmm.

09:54That's a good and tasty possibility, though I'd be very cautious about eating anything that they send.

10:08Oh, Marie, it is going so well.

10:11This is gonna get Tim back for every Halloween prank he ever pulled on me.

10:16The severed thumb in my jello.

10:18Yeah, the tarantula in my underwear drawer.

10:21Yeah, well, Wilson is in on it, too.

10:23Yeah, yeah, he's freaking him out even more.

10:35Tim, Tim, Tim, I wouldn't worry about it.

10:38If the cookies were poisoned, I'm sure you'd feel the effects by now.

10:41I don't know.

10:43I got this burning bile feeling in here now.

10:47You're gonna be fine.

10:49Well, listen, I'll just talk to you later, Marie.

10:52I mean, oh, I should say, Rose.

10:58Yeah, bye.

11:08Is that you, Rose?

11:09What?

11:10Hello.

11:11Nice to see you, too.

11:12Sorry, Marie, I thought you were some crazed wacko.

11:13Oh, I'm just your run-of-the-mill wacko.

11:14Tim, put the bat down.

11:15I'm so sorry, Marie.

11:16Remember that woman that sent him the cookies?

11:17Oh, I'm so sorry.

11:19Oh.

11:20I'm so sorry, Marie.

11:21I thought you were some crazed wacko.

11:22Oh, I'm just your run-of-the-mill wacko.

11:23Tim, put the bat down.

11:28I'm so sorry, Marie.

11:29Remember that woman that sent him the cookies?

11:33Sorry, Marie, I thought you were some crazed wacko.

11:35Oh, I'm just your run-of-the-mill wacko.

11:38Tim, put the bat down. I'm so sorry, Marie.

11:41Remember that woman that sent him the cookies?

11:44He's convinced that she's obsessed with him.

11:46You want some coffee?

11:47Yeah, I'd love some.

11:50Wilson said sometimes obsessed fans will send you poisoned food.

11:55That's true, you know, because those cookies had a lot of butter in them,

11:58and butter's very high in cholesterol.

12:00She could be trying to kill you slowly.

12:03Tim, do me a favor, will you?

12:05I got some jack-o'-lanterns in the car. You go get them for me?

12:07You bet, sure.

12:08Unless you're afraid that Rose is hiding in the back seat.

12:14You want some cream or sugar?

12:16No, thanks.

12:18He really looks nervous.

12:20Yeah, he's a total wreck, and it's great.

12:23The very best prank I've seen since we super-glue grandma to the toilet seat.

12:29You what?

12:30Hey, she wasn't my grandma.

12:33You know, Jill, I think you should take this Rose thing really seriously.

12:40You know, I'm in therapy, so I know for a fact there are a lot of nuts out there.

12:43But why would anyone be obsessed with Tim?

12:47Because I am very obsessible.

12:49Oh, Tim, I'm married to you, and I barely think about you.

12:55So you think this is real funny, don't you?

12:56There could be a woman out there fantasizing about me right now.

13:00Oh, what is she fantasizing?

13:01That you come over to her house late at night, bring some wine, and blow up her garbage disposal?

13:09Look, Jill, I don't think you should joke about this.

13:12You know, these people can be dangerous.

13:14Do you really think so?

13:15Well, I think Tim should watch his step.

13:18Yeah, thanks.

13:20You're welcome.

13:21Well, maybe, maybe you're right.

13:23Tim, I think you should just phone in sick today.

13:26No way.

13:26I will not live my life in fear.

13:30Ow!

13:31Oh, that unkinked my colon.

13:38Get out of the way!

13:45Yeah?

13:46Tim?

13:47Did you notice were there any women in the audience today?

13:50I didn't notice, but there's always a few.

13:52Why?

13:53No reason.

13:54Hey, tell you what, do me a little favor.

13:56Would you go out there and see if any of them look, um, obsessed?

14:01Obsessed.

14:02Yeah.

14:03You know the same look you get when you're sitting in front of a plate of pancakes?

14:07And here they are, those two guys who are no fools when it comes to tools.

14:11Tim, Taylor, and Al Borland!

14:12Woo!

14:20Welcome to Tool Time.

14:21You're welcome, but...

14:22Dolly, there's a lot of women in the audience today, Heidi.

14:34That's right, Tim.

14:35This afternoon, we're honored to have with us the Women's Sharpshooters Club of Detroit.

14:39All right!

14:43Well, welcome, sharpshooters.

14:45I am Tim Taylor.

14:48This is Tool Time.

14:49You all know my assistant, Al Bullseye Borland.

14:53You know, a lot of people don't know that Tool Time isn't just about home improvement.

15:00It's also about frisking people.

15:05Would you take the honors today, Al?

15:08I don't think so, Tim.

15:10Uh, today, we're going to be talking about insulating windows.

15:15Yes, we are.

15:20Calking, window insulation.

15:22And that's all the time we have.

15:24Have a safe drive home.

15:26Tim.

15:27Tim!

15:28Tim!

15:29Get me to the crowd.

15:29Get the crowd.

15:30Get the crowd.

15:31Marv, I want to see the whole audience.

15:32Focus these.

15:33I've got to see the girls out here.

15:34Tim!

15:36We're not going to talk about windows, are we?

15:38Why do we have projects?

15:40Why do we even have a show?

15:42I'm having a little difficulty.

15:43What?

15:43Tim, I found this backstage.

15:44It was addressed to you.

15:46It's a rose.

15:47Get this out of here.

15:48Boy, men and women sure react differently to getting flowers.

15:51Well, you should at least read it.

15:52I don't want to read it.

15:54My dearest Tim.

15:56Oh.

15:56I'm in the front row today.

15:58Oh.

15:58Tonight, I'll be even closer when I'm at your Halloween party.

16:03Great.

16:04Don't reject my affections or you'll be sorry.

16:07Rose.

16:10Don't you think it's mean what we're doing to Tim?

16:20Yes, I do.

16:21Oh, hi, Cheryl.

16:38It's me, Al.

16:39Oh, she, she.

16:41Oh, she...

16:42Oh.

16:43Hello.

16:44Oh!

16:45Oh, my God.

17:15Hey, how did you see you? Who is that?

17:25Nice party time.

17:26Heidi.

17:27Spooky.

17:27Nice hair.

17:28Spooky.

17:30Honey, honey, what were you thinking about when you picked up these costumes?

17:34A widow and a corpse?

17:36Well, by the time I got there, there wasn't much left, you know?

17:38It was either a corpse or Bob Vila.

17:43What's the difference?

17:45Is it just my imagination we'd be surrounded by death tonight?

17:50Well, death was a very hot costume this year.

17:52You know, black is very slimming.

17:55These people just get dressed up as licorice.

17:58Honey, will you just relax?

18:00Nobody's gonna get by Al unless they're on the guest list.

18:02Oh, yeah, our crack security ape.

18:05Al?

18:06Al!

18:06Hey, hey, banana breath.

18:15You let another fiend slip by.

18:18Oh, no, that's okay.

18:19That's just Reverend McDonald.

18:21Hi, Reverend.

18:22Boy, it's hot in there.

18:27Put your mask back on.

18:29You're scaring all the kids.

18:32Just watch the door, please.

18:34All right, I will.

18:35Change that music.

18:36It's too spooky for Halloween.

18:37Ow!

18:42Hello.

18:43Hello.

18:44Hello.

18:45Hello.

18:49Wait a minute, wait a minute.

18:50Why did your father dress you all alike?

18:52Well, we all wanted to be Mo.

18:56Spread out, knuckleheads.

18:59Ow!

19:01Oh.

19:02Wise guys, eh?

19:04Ow!

19:06Ow!

19:07Ow!

19:08Ow!

19:10Ow!

19:11Ow!

19:12Ow!

19:13Ow!

19:14Ow!

19:20Hey!

19:21Don't do that, Wilson.

19:23I'm sorry, Tim.

19:24I didn't mean to frighten you, but a lady asked me to give this to you.

19:30It's a rose.

19:32That was my first reaction.

19:34Where is she?

19:39Well, she seems to have disappeared.

19:40A lady dressed all in red, had an air of menace about her?

19:44Did she?

19:45Mm-hmm.

19:54Here.

19:59Yeah.

20:00Oh, boy.

20:14Ow!

20:15Ow!

20:16Ow!

20:17Ow!

20:20Ow!

20:20Excuse us for a minute.

20:22Rose is here.

20:24Rose the Obsessed fan?

20:25No, Rose Kennedy.

20:28Yes, Rose the Obsessed fan.

20:30Well, where is she?

20:31She's right over there.

20:35This is so creepy.

20:37I think maybe you should call the police.

20:39Yeah, maybe you're right.

20:40No, wait, no, don't do it down here.

20:42You don't want to scare the guests.

20:43Go upstairs.

20:44All right, promise me one thing.

20:46Anything happens to me, shoot the ape.

20:51Ow!

21:04Operator, what's the number for 911?

21:08Slow down.

21:11Jill?

21:11Guess again.

21:13It's Rose.

21:16I'll be right there.

21:17I'm just going to fix my face.

21:21Mmm.

21:27Come on in.

21:29Come on.

21:33Ah!

21:34Trick or treat!

21:35The king of Halloween is dead.

21:50Long live the queen.

21:51Woo!

21:52What's all this stuff?

22:06Oh, I thought I'd put a little romance back in Halloween.

22:09Okay.

22:10Well, I've always been attracted to dead, pasty-faced guys.

22:14You better kiss me before a rigor mortis sets in.

22:25Care to dance, my widow woman?

22:27Ah, I'd love to.

22:29Dead astare.

22:30Oh, yeah.

22:38Ah.

22:40Nice party.

22:40Spin me, Mr. Taylor.

22:44Spin me.

22:45You got it.

22:46Ah!

22:49The king is back.

22:51He's got one arm, but the king is back.

22:57And as you can see, with the Binford Light Oak stain,

23:02you'll get a nice, honey-colored finish.

23:06The Binford Light Oak stain, you'll get a nice, honey-colored finish.

23:17That's right.

23:18And when you're through with that,

23:19you want to put a light little peppercorn on its top.

23:23Oh, what?

23:24The Binford Light Oak stain, you'll get a nice, honey-colored finish.

23:25The Binford Light Oak stain, you'll get a nice, honey-colored finish.

23:26The Binford Light Oak stain, you'll get a nice, honey-colored finish.

23:27The Binford Light Oak stain, you'll get a nice, honey-colored finish.

23:28The Binford Light Oak stain, you'll get a nice, honey-colored finish.

23:29The Binford Light Oak stain, you'll get a nice, honey-colored finish.

23:30The Binford Light Oak stain, you'll get a nice, honey-colored finish.

23:31The Binford Light Oak stain, you'll get a nice, honey-colored finish.

23:32The Binford Light Oak stain, you'll get a nice, honey-colored finish.

23:33The Binford Light Oak stain, you'll get a nice, honey-colored finish.

23:34The Binford Light Oak stain, you'll get a nice, honey-colored finish.

Category

Transcript

Recommended