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TVTranscript
00:00good night al good night heidi good show tonight al you think so you insulted me 17 times you're
00:16right great show tim al hi heidi hi super episode right up there with vila thanks west thank you
00:27president davidson he's president of the binford tools not the united states so how are my friends
00:35at tool time beats me i don't think you have any you know tim you're as funny now as you were when
00:42we first started selling tools i remember that you know wes here was binford's best number two
00:48tool salesman boy i can't remember the guy's name that was number one who was the number one sales
00:53what was it it was you tim was it me number one it was you but we all know who's number one now
00:57don't we yes we do mr president you know al i really enjoyed the what's new segment and it started my
01:04little gray cells churning seems like it churned the hair right off your head then hey hey the hair's
01:11off limits taylor it's off your scalp too anyway we just finished a prototype for a new reciprocating
01:20saw i didn't know we were developing one you didn't know i'd be your boss one day either
01:24gentlemen the binford 6100 with state-of-the-art electronic feedback control oh i love that in a
01:32saw boy look how thin she is and she's light and look at this there's a pistol grip down boy
01:38i thought it would be perfect if you could give it a sneak preview on friday's segment
01:43there's a very good idea we can see now why you're number one oh thanks al well back to work
01:52bye al see you timmy so long wessie see you mr president
01:58why don't you just glue your lips to his butt
02:03there's no need to be snitty besides i think you're overlooking something very important that
02:16has just happened here we got a new tool
02:20you
02:25you
02:27you
02:33you
02:37you
02:41guitar solo
03:11There's nothing to eat in this house.
03:41Hey, Rittany, what's in the pantry?
03:43We got some garlic powder, nutmeg, and fennel.
03:50What's fennel?
03:51That's what our shirts are made of.
03:55Hey, guys, you here?
03:57Yeah.
03:58Oh, I'm so sorry I'm late.
04:01What a day.
04:02The computers all went down at work,
04:04and then I had a library fundraiser meeting,
04:06and I got this headache.
04:07I thought my head was going to explode.
04:10Mom, we're completely out of food.
04:13Thank you for caring.
04:16My father and I just went to the grocery store two days ago.
04:18How can there be no food?
04:20There's no food!
04:23Gosh, you know, you guys,
04:24you're just like piranhas in blue jeans.
04:26Okay, um, I'll order a pizza for tonight,
04:31and tomorrow I'll go to the grocery store.
04:32Well, can you make sure the food is here
04:34by the time we get home from school?
04:35Well, why don't I just meet you at the bus stop,
04:38and I can serve you as you get off?
04:41You're always thinking, Mom.
04:46Here's what I'm thinking.
04:47Tomorrow I'm going to give you boys some money.
04:50Yeah, money!
04:51And then I'm going to send you to the grocery store,
04:53and you're going to buy every single thing
04:54I tell you to buy and nothing else.
04:56Aw, man.
04:57And when I say potatoes,
04:59I don't mean potato chips,
05:00and milk does not mean milk duds, okay?
05:04Well, can we at least get something sweet?
05:07You could buy me some flowers.
05:08That'd be sweet.
05:11Hi, everybody.
05:12Oh, hi.
05:13How is the best gosh-dark family
05:15in the whole world?
05:17You got a new tool, didn't you?
05:19Yeah!
05:21Binford's coming out with a new saw.
05:23I get to promote it on the show,
05:24and tonight I get to try it out in the garage
05:26if you'll help me move the hot rod chassis out.
05:28Is it a power saw?
05:29You bet.
05:30I'll get the candles.
05:31I'll get the Band-Aids.
05:43Hey, are you still here?
05:44It's two in the morning.
05:46Come on, Jill.
05:48Look at this.
05:49You know what I found out
05:50when I took this thing apart?
05:51That you couldn't put it back together?
05:55This is an inferior tool.
05:58I'm embarrassed to have it in the garage
05:59breathing the same air as the rest of my stuff.
06:02Honey,
06:02I know they're like little people to you,
06:04but get a grip.
06:06No, no, no.
06:07Uh, um,
06:08well, look at these.
06:09Look at these washers.
06:09These are plastic washers,
06:11plastic screws.
06:13I knew this was going to happen
06:14when Davidson took over.
06:16He doesn't care about quality the way I do.
06:18No kidding.
06:19I saw his wife at a Christmas party.
06:20Benford would have never made a tool like this,
06:28where the length of the stroke
06:30isn't even half an inch.
06:32Well,
06:32that may be obvious to you
06:34and me,
06:35but, uh,
06:37Davidson may not know
06:38that this is a bad tool.
06:41How can he not know
06:42this is a bad tool?
06:43Honey's been sitting behind a desk
06:44for ten years.
06:45No, you're right.
06:48And even when we were
06:49selling tools together,
06:50get this,
06:51he didn't know the difference
06:52between a spline shank
06:53and a two flute.
06:57That was exactly my reaction.
07:00Honey,
07:00if you tell him
07:01that this is a bad tool,
07:03he may not want you to promote it.
07:05You think so?
07:05Yeah,
07:06I should go talk to him.
07:07Maybe you're right.
07:08I'm always right.
07:10Why is that?
07:12Because I'm so smart.
07:14If you're so smart,
07:15Mrs. Magna Coombe lately,
07:19would you like me
07:20to put it back together?
07:21Absolutely not.
07:22See,
07:23I'm getting smarter
07:23all the time.
07:27Well,
07:27here we are.
07:29Have a seat
07:30and Mr. Davidson
07:30will be with you shortly.
07:32Well,
07:32thanks, Laura.
07:33Mm-hmm.
07:34Oh,
07:34by the way, Al,
07:35all of us here at Binford
07:37love you.
07:38Well,
07:38I bet we both
07:39have a lot of fans
07:39around here.
07:41Well,
07:42like I said,
07:43Mr. Davidson
07:44will be with you shortly.
07:45Why did we have to come here?
07:55You know,
07:55I'm not good
07:56at confronting superiors.
07:58Al,
07:58you've got to speak up.
07:59If a kiss-up like you
08:00has a complaint,
08:01he'll take it seriously.
08:03Hi, guys.
08:04Sorry I'm late.
08:05Hello,
08:05Mr. President.
08:10Comfortable, Tim?
08:11Oh,
08:12how could I not be?
08:12It's so homey in here.
08:17How are you guys?
08:19Uh,
08:19you want anything?
08:20We want you to
08:21scrap production
08:21on the 6100.
08:24I was thinking
08:25more along the lines
08:26of coffee or tea.
08:28It's an inferior tool.
08:29Both Al and I agree.
08:32Is this true, Al?
08:33I would like some tea.
08:46The point is,
08:47I took it home last night,
08:48fiddled around with it.
08:49Al tried it this morning.
08:50The motor's really too small,
08:52Wes.
08:52There's all those
08:52plastic parts in it.
08:56Do you have chamomile?
08:57The whole thing
08:59is cheesy and lightweight.
09:01Well, Tim,
09:02we feel that the
09:03lighter weight parts
09:03make it easier to use,
09:05particularly for the ladies.
09:07Ladies?
09:08Yeah, my wife
09:08was just remarking
09:09the other night,
09:09when are they going to
09:10make a reciprocating
09:11soft for me?
09:12Something small
09:12you could put
09:13in a cocktail purse
09:13or maybe hang it
09:14like a pendant.
09:15Maybe some drop
09:15earrings out of it.
09:17With all due respect,
09:18Mr. President,
09:19I, well,
09:20I did try it
09:20and, and I,
09:22I felt that it wasn't
09:23up to Binford's
09:24usually high standards.
09:25Al,
09:25it's a perfectly fine tool.
09:28We just found some new,
09:30innovative
09:30manufacturing techniques.
09:32Don't you mean
09:33you found a cheaper
09:34way to make it, Wes?
09:36All right,
09:36forget all this stuff,
09:37okay?
09:38The basic design is there.
09:39I think a few modifications,
09:40we've got a great tool.
09:41All you need
09:42is a heavier casing,
09:43go from plastic
09:44to metal washers.
09:45Guys,
09:46I'm happy with the saw
09:47as is.
09:49Fine.
09:50Let's just see
09:50how happy you are
09:51when we will not
09:52promote the thing
09:53on tool time.
09:54Tim,
09:56it's very simple.
09:59Binford makes tools.
10:02Binford makes tool time.
10:04Your point?
10:05If the show
10:06won't promote our products,
10:07we have no reason
10:07to continue it.
10:08At least,
10:09not with you.
10:12Don't threaten me,
10:13Wes.
10:13Ow.
10:23You can cancel my tea,
10:25sir.
10:29Mom, we're back.
10:31We've got everything
10:31on the list.
10:32Everything?
10:33Oh, everything
10:34except for the garlic gloves.
10:36Garlic gloves?
10:38That's garlic cloves, honey.
10:41Oh, then we had
10:42Mark smiling gloves
10:43for nothing.
10:46Uh-oh.
10:48What is all this junk?
10:49There's licorice here,
10:50potato chips,
10:51chocolate-covered peanuts.
10:52These things were not
10:53on the list.
10:55Well, we bought it
10:56with the money
10:56we had left over.
10:57You shouldn't have had
10:59any money left over.
11:00Well, we're smart shoppers.
11:02Yeah.
11:02Yeah.
11:03Yeah.
11:03This fruit is bruised.
11:06Crackers are smushed.
11:08What's with this can
11:09of spaghetti sauce?
11:11Mom, it was half the price
11:12because it was dented.
11:14Great.
11:15We could have
11:15spaghetti al dente.
11:18That's a good idea.
11:20Did you buy anything
11:20that wasn't damaged?
11:22Yeah, the chicken.
11:23We couldn't find
11:24any dented ones.
11:26Why didn't you just
11:27throw it up against the wall
11:28before you got
11:28to the register?
11:29See, Randy?
11:30I told you
11:31we should do that.
11:32Well, thanks for trying.
11:38Hi, everybody.
11:39Back from shopping.
11:40How'd it go?
11:44There's no labels on these.
11:47What is it?
11:48Could be succotash
11:49or dog food.
11:51Well, with the way
11:52Mom cooks,
11:53I don't think
11:53it makes a difference.
11:56I've heard, man.
12:01So how'd it go
12:02with Davidson?
12:03You know what they say, honey?
12:04A weasel is a weasel.
12:07Is a weasel.
12:09That good, huh?
12:11Well, I guess
12:12the bottom line is
12:13I either promote the tool
12:14or he fires me.
12:16What?
12:16Well, I don't think
12:17you can hurt Tim,
12:17the tool man, Taylor.
12:19Tim, he's the president
12:20of the company.
12:20He has the power
12:21to fire you.
12:22Oh, yeah.
12:23Well, who's he
12:23going to replace me with?
12:24Borland?
12:26Al's show now?
12:27Flannel time?
12:27Who's going to watch that?
12:31Okay, tell me
12:31about this tool.
12:32Does it work?
12:35Well, it works.
12:36Is it unsafe?
12:37No, it's not unsafe,
12:38but this isn't the point.
12:40Is this really
12:41about the tool
12:42or is it about
12:42your problem
12:43with Davidson?
12:44I don't have
12:45a problem with Davidson.
12:46You think he's a weasel.
12:48I don't have a problem
12:49with that.
12:51Okay.
12:52If you thought about
12:53Davidson and the tool
12:54is safe,
12:54are you really willing
12:55to lose your job
12:56over this?
12:58Binford has always stood
13:00for quality tools.
13:02This is a bad
13:02reciprocating saw.
13:04What's next?
13:04A rubber miter box?
13:06Styrofoam nails?
13:07Is there no way
13:07that you can compromise?
13:09Jill, a lot of guys
13:10watch the show
13:11and buy tools
13:11because I recommend
13:12them on the show
13:13and it's a responsibility
13:14I don't take lightly.
13:18All right.
13:19All right what?
13:21All right,
13:21I'm behind you,
13:22whatever you decide to do.
13:24Even if I lose my job,
13:25I've got to go back
13:25to selling tools
13:26on the road?
13:27I won't see you,
13:28but I'll be behind you.
13:31That's why I love you.
13:35And you don't think
13:36I'm crazy?
13:38That's a separate issue.
13:47Hey, Dad,
13:48remember the landing gear
13:49you fixed on my plane yesterday?
13:50Did a good job,
13:51didn't I?
13:52I guess the glue didn't work.
13:55Can't figure that out.
13:55My thumb was stuck
13:56to the workbench
13:57for three hours.
14:00Well, I'll fix it again.
14:04You like me being
14:05Tim the Toolman Taylor,
14:06don't you?
14:07Yeah.
14:09You know,
14:09I also used to be
14:10a tool salesman.
14:10I was the best salesman
14:11Binford ever had.
14:12I know.
14:14How do you know?
14:15You told me a million times.
14:16I didn't tell you
14:18about being on the road,
14:19though.
14:20Staying in hotels,
14:21you get to make a big mess
14:22someone else cleans up
14:22after you.
14:23Does mom do that?
14:26Yeah,
14:27but the chambermaid
14:27doesn't give you
14:28those nasty looks,
14:29you know?
14:30Get to eat all the food
14:31you want,
14:32get bloated
14:32and all gassy at night.
14:33That doesn't sound so good.
14:37Oh, but rental cars,
14:38you can do whatever
14:39you want to them,
14:40commuter flights,
14:41is that wing
14:43supposed to be doing that?
14:46Oh, boy,
14:46staying up late
14:47and talking to your kids
14:48by phone,
14:49never being home
14:50for holidays.
14:51I hated doing that.
14:52Dad,
14:53if you were a tool salesman,
14:54you'd never be home
14:55with us.
14:56I want to be home
14:57with you guys
14:57and I want to do tool time.
14:59That's really the life
14:59I like.
15:01Here you go.
15:22It stinks,
15:23Wilson.
15:24Well,
15:25Tim,
15:25you can't expect
15:26the compost heap
15:27to smell like fine perfume.
15:30No,
15:30I'm referring to
15:31the situation
15:32with that weasel Davison.
15:34It's a lose-lose situation.
15:36I either promote a tool
15:37that I don't believe in
15:38or I risk losing my job.
15:40Mm-hmm,
15:41mm-hmm,
15:41mm-hmm.
15:43That is quite a pickle.
15:45Yeah,
15:45right,
15:45Wilson.
15:46It's a real predicament.
15:47No,
15:48Tim,
15:48I was referring
15:48to the big deal
15:49between the coffee grounds
15:50and the eggshells.
15:53Wilson,
15:54could we?
15:55I'm sorry,
15:56Tim.
15:57You know,
15:58it was Robert Ingersoll,
16:00a 19th century lawyer,
16:02who said,
16:03it is a blessed thing
16:05that in every age
16:06somebody has had the courage
16:08to stand by their convictions.
16:10A lawyer said that?
16:15On the other hand,
16:17I'm reminded of a general
16:18named Pyrrhus.
16:20That's right.
16:21He was a Greek general
16:23who fought the Romans
16:24and his army won the war,
16:26but he lost so many men
16:27it might just as well
16:28have been a defeat.
16:30Today,
16:30we call that
16:31a Pyrrhic victory.
16:33Wilson,
16:34what are you saying?
16:34That this might not
16:35be worth the fight?
16:36Well,
16:37it wasn't for Pyrrhus.
16:38It may be for you.
16:40You see,
16:41Tim,
16:41when it's a question
16:42of integrity,
16:43there are no easy answers.
16:45I could come back.
16:49Well,
16:49you're right,
16:50Wilson,
16:50this is really a pickle,
16:52and I don't mean
16:52that dill.
17:09So,
17:09what are you going to do
17:11about the reciprocating saw?
17:13I'm going to do my job,
17:14Val.
17:16You're not going to promote
17:17it on the show,
17:17are you?
17:18What about your principles?
17:20I don't want to end up
17:21in a Pyrrhus victory,
17:22all right?
17:25What?
17:27Does everybody know
17:28what time it is?
17:29Tool time!
17:31That's right.
17:32Fit for Tools is proud
17:33to present
17:33Tim,
17:33the Tool Man,
17:34Taylor,
17:35all right!
17:42Thank you,
17:42everybody.
17:43And welcome
17:44to Tool Time.
17:45I am Tim,
17:46the Tool Man,
17:46Taylor,
17:47and you all know
17:47my assistant,
17:48Al Borland.
17:52Today,
17:52we finish up
17:53what's new
17:54this week on Tool Time.
17:56Got a little surprise
17:56for how would you guys
17:57all like to see
17:57a top-secret prototype
17:58of a new tool
17:59from Binford?
18:04Prepare your eyes,
18:05cover them
18:05if you're a child,
18:06because here we go.
18:06The new Binford 6100
18:13reciprocating saw.
18:15Huh?
18:16Every tool Binford makes
18:20goes through a rigorous
18:22quality control system
18:23to make sure
18:23it's top-of-line.
18:25And the Binford 6100
18:26bombed out big time.
18:36Al, if you want
18:36to walk away,
18:37I'll understand.
18:39I never walk away
18:41from a tool in need.
18:43That's right.
18:45The Binford 6100
18:46bombed out
18:46of every single test
18:47we threw at her.
18:50And I bet you're wondering,
18:52who's responsible
18:53for making a tool
18:54like this?
18:55Well, it's the new
18:56president of Binford Tools,
18:57Wes Davison.
18:58He's right over there.
18:59A man who doesn't mind
19:01a bad tool.
19:03As long as it's made
19:04by somebody else.
19:07Because if it says
19:08Binford on it,
19:09it's got to be the best.
19:10I think Wes Davison
19:11deserves a big round
19:12of applause.
19:13Wes?
19:13Come on over here, Wes.
19:16Come on.
19:17It's because of this man
19:22you'll only see
19:24quality products
19:25in your hardware store.
19:26Wes, tell us a little bit
19:27about the problem
19:27you had developing
19:28the 6100.
19:29Please, tell us.
19:32I'd be glad to, guys.
19:34We found that the motor
19:36was a little underpowered.
19:38And the casing?
19:42And the casing
19:43would have been
19:43a little stronger
19:44had we used metal.
19:45What are you going
19:47to do with it?
19:50Well, in the interest
19:51of the consumer,
19:52I've decided
19:52to hold off production.
19:58Isn't this the kind
19:59of guy you want
20:00selling your tools?
20:01Look at how.
20:05I've got an idea.
20:06Heidi, would you bring out
20:07the Binford Big Boy ZX?
20:10Sure, Tim.
20:12Here on Tool Time,
20:14we have a tool
20:15or a product
20:15that doesn't measure
20:16up to our quality standards.
20:17We give it a...
20:18interesting farewell.
20:21Heidi?
20:29The Binford Tool Masher.
20:31Al, you want to take
20:32the honors here?
20:35I don't think so, Tim.
20:36But perhaps Wes
20:39would like to.
20:41How about it,
20:41Mr. President?
20:45All right.
20:46Just shove it right in there.
20:47Watch your hands.
20:48And what we end up with
21:05is the new
21:07Binford 6100
21:09paperweight.
21:11Honey, I'm so proud
21:24of you.
21:25It took a lot of
21:26integrity for you
21:27to stand up to Davidson
21:28like that.
21:29Well, I'd like to say
21:30it was no big deal.
21:32No, it was a big deal.
21:33However,
21:37if you had lost your job,
21:38it wouldn't have been
21:38the worst thing.
21:40What do you mean?
21:40I'd have to go back
21:41to selling tools
21:41and be on the road
21:42for 30 weeks.
21:43And the downside would be?
21:49You'd miss me.
21:50Until Jake the pool boy
21:52dropped by.
21:56You don't have a pool.
21:57We'd get one.
22:00Maybe I'll just stay home.
22:01Well, see,
22:01that would be okay, too,
22:02because since I'd be
22:04the major breadwinner,
22:06then you'd have to stay home
22:06and do the laundry
22:07and the cooking
22:08and the shopping,
22:10cleaning.
22:1130 weeks isn't that long.
22:15Well, I had two
22:15very interesting options,
22:16you see,
22:17because on the one hand,
22:18you would stay home
22:19and do the laundry,
22:20and on the other hand,
22:21I would get the pool guy.
22:27Oh, honey,
22:29I never trade you
22:31for anybody.
22:37Unless I could get
22:37a pool boy
22:38who did the laundry.
22:44Four, three, two...
22:47What, it's scary?
23:02It's a loud theme song.
23:03It's so loud.
23:04It's so loud.
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1:29:39
1:00:29
1:01:12
4:57