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Short filmTranscript
00:01Terrible Tudors, Gorgeous Georgians
00:03Scrumies, Tudors, Bar-Victorian
00:04Woeful Wars, Ferocious Fights
00:05Stingy Castle, Daring Knife
00:07Horrors that did by description
00:08Cutthroat Council, Full Ejection
00:10Vicious Vikings, Cruel Crimes
00:11Parnished and Browl, They should die
00:12Roman Rotten, Rankin, Roofless
00:14Cavemen, Savage, Pearson, Tubeless
00:15Groovy Greeks, Rainy Sages
00:16Need a missing Middle Ages
00:18Gory stories, we do that
00:20And your hosts are talking rats
00:23The past is no longer a mystery
00:26Welcome to...
00:27Horrible Histories
00:31Horrible Histories presents...
00:34Brilliant Brown Boxes
00:37History is filled with brilliant brains
00:40Who've changed our lives with their amazing ideas, theories and inventions
00:44And my Victorian age was stuffed with them
00:47Charles Dickens transformed writing
00:50I love his stuff
00:51Florence Nightingale basically created modern nursing
00:54You're welcome
00:55And Charles Darwin revolutionised scientific theory
00:58Two of them also had great facial hair
01:01Not all of our Victorian Brain Boxes ideas were winners though
01:05Polish eye doctor LL Zamenov for example
01:08Thought he'd invented a way of bringing about world peace
01:12Spoiler alert, he hadn't
01:14You're welcome
01:16Friends, you represent the great countries of the world
01:20And I believe that I have the answer for creating world peace
01:24Really, Dr Zamenov?
01:26How is an unknown Polish eye doctor going to come up with a plan for world peace?
01:32We all speak different languages
01:35Half of the group can't understand what you're saying
01:38Guess que laddie?
01:39See?
01:40There's the answer
01:41I believe that the world's problems are down to poor communication
01:45So I've come up with a new language
01:47It's simple and easy to learn
01:49And will become the language of international communication
01:53Let me tell you a little bit about it
01:55Any sort of fighting I abhor
01:59We need to find a way to prevent war
02:02And I think that language is the solution
02:05A peaceful way of resolving things
02:10There's no need for more battling
02:13Here's a way to stop this confusion
02:16Esperanto
02:18It's a language that I've created in Poland
02:21A way that we can keep the conversation flowing
02:24A way of talking that will only keep on growing
02:27Esperanto
02:29It's a simple language to unite the people
02:32It's a way of speaking that'll make us equal
02:35We can sort our problems in a way that's peaceful
02:38It's easy to learn
02:40There's no crazy grammar
02:41It follows simple rules everyone can understand
02:44Yeah? A mixture of languages
02:45But here's the surprise
02:47There are some words you might recognize
02:49A bird is birdo
02:51Cat is catto
02:52A cake is cucco
02:53Baby is babo
02:55Club is clubbo
02:56River rivero
02:57Music musico
02:59Problem problemo
03:00Stop me if I'm wrong
03:02I wouldn't want to offend
03:03You're just taking a word
03:04And sticking a no on me yet
03:05I see why you've said that
03:07There's really more to it
03:08Don't be put off
03:09Everyone here can do it
03:14Esperanto
03:16It's a language that I've created in Poland
03:19A way that we can keep the conversation flowing
03:21A way of talking that will only keep on growing
03:25Esperanto
03:27It's a simple language to unite the people
03:30It's a way of speaking that will make us equal
03:33We can solve our problems in a way that's peaceful
03:36Esperanto
03:41Any questions?
03:45Qu'est-qu'est-ce que tu sais?
03:46What's that?
03:47I wonder if rat is rat-o in Esperanto
03:51I guess we'll never know
03:53Oh
03:54Welcome to our look at some brilliant historical brains
03:58And here to help us out is someone who seems to know everything
04:02It's actual chaser, the beast, Mark Labette
04:06Hello Mark
04:07Hello Rattus
04:08Let's test your brainiac credentials then
04:11When was Battle of Hastings?
04:121066
04:13Oh
04:14You are good
04:15What's the biggest organ in the human body?
04:18The skin
04:19Speedy?
04:20Who is the next sketch about?
04:22What?
04:23How am I supposed to know that?
04:25Oh, bad luck Mark
04:27No, hang on
04:28How was I supposed to know that?
04:30You never told me
04:31All right mate
04:32Don't go on about it
04:33No one likes a sore loser
04:35The answer is John Wilkins
04:37In the 17th century he was a member of the Royal Society
04:40A place where the brain boxes of the time went to swap ideas
04:44And it was there that Wilkins presented an amazing idea that we still use today
04:49Just not quite in the same way he thought we would
04:52What's the capital of Ecuador?
04:53I'm not playing anymore
04:55But it's keto
04:56Oh, nice
04:58And so I am delighted to present to you fellow members of the Royal Society
05:04My design for a submarine arc
05:07Wow
05:08A boat that travels under the water
05:11Oh
05:12Now this arc or submarine boat could change everything
05:16Imagine a vessel that could travel to any coast in the world completely undetected
05:21It won't be affected by the tides or threatened by the ice when crossing under the poles
05:26Cool
05:27There's just one problem which may mean this boat can never be built
05:32I refer of course to how you deal with when you need to go
05:38Go where?
05:40I know
05:41On a voyage
05:42No, no, no, no, no, no, no
05:43I'm talking about the toilet
05:44The little dolphin's room
05:46What do you do with the doo-doo?
05:49Oh
05:50The poo
05:51I'm not sure we need the diagram
05:53I disagree
05:54Imagine you're in a submarine and you're having a poo
05:57Are you imagining it?
05:58Yes, I think I've got it
06:00Good
06:01Now, what do you do with the poo?
06:03Throw it out the window
06:04Oh, well you'll be under the sea so water would flood and sink the boat
06:08True, but I have the answer
06:11What is it?
06:15It's a poo collecting bag
06:18It would be attached to a hole in the submarine
06:20You simply pop your poop inside, close it up at one end, release the other and hey presto
06:25Away goes the poo
06:26Poo aside, Wilkins, I believe you've actually invented some kind of airlock
06:30This could be revolutionary
06:32I know, right?
06:33Super pooper
06:34No, no, no, but you could use the same system to stock up with food and fuel without ever having to come to the surface
06:39Yes, a boat could lower them in from above and you could take them in through the hole
06:42This isn't just for poos, this could be used for every
06:45No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, right? It's just a poo bag for getting rid of poo
06:50Do you want a demonstration? It's really simple, look like you hold the bag out, right?
06:53Oh, absolutely not
06:55Look, Wilkins, this submarine is a triumph, but your poo bags stink
06:59Alright, fine, but in the future, if you're ever in a submarine boat and you feel a poo coming on, don't come crying to me
07:09I haven't had a big lunch
07:11Oh, it's just me
07:13Oh
07:15Head teacher Ruth Thomas is looking for a new physics teacher
07:18After Miss Evans' shoelaces got caught in class 9F's rocket and she suddenly relocated to Norfolk
07:25Welcome to historical educating
07:28I'm quite excited about our new supply teacher
07:31He was such an important scientific figure that he has more things named after him than almost anyone else
07:38Humboldt Mountains
07:39Humboldt Park
07:40Humboldt Park
07:41Humboldt City
07:42And there's even a part of the moon called Mayor Humboldtianum
07:46Yeah
07:47Class 7F's new teacher is Alexander Von Humboldt
07:51Morgan
07:52Good morning, Mr. Alexander Von Humboldt
07:56Now, hands up who wants to help me with a scientific experiment
08:01Yeah
08:02Toby
08:03Very interesting
08:05Who else would like to help?
08:07Okay
08:08Mr. Von Humboldt experiments with animals and electricity
08:12Which doesn't seem right because that's what Stephen Wilkins in 7P got excluded for
08:18Here we have the beautiful dead bird
08:21Yeah
08:22But who here wants to see if we can bring this birdie back to life with some electricity
08:28Yeah
08:29Let's do this
08:31Well, that didn't work
08:33He's such a science legend
08:35In fact, there's over a hundred animals named after him
08:39Like the Humboldt squid
08:40Sir, that doesn't look very safe
08:42Don't worry, I've done this test before
08:45Sticking wire up your bottom is a perfectly valid scientific test
08:51Nothing can happen to me unless someone switches on the light
08:54Mr. Von Humboldt, what do you think you're doing?
08:56No!
09:02How would you say that went?
09:04Pretty good
09:05Look, I don't know what the fuss is about
09:07Thanks to my experiment, we now know
09:10That electrocuting yourself through the bottom
09:13Means to nausea, cramps
09:15And it makes you do a little bit of wee
09:17You're fired, Mr. Von Humboldt
09:19You know the way out
09:20I actually don't know the way out
09:26Excuse me, I seem to have retained a little charge in my buttocks
09:30Fascinating
09:32Ever been tempted to see what happens if you attach electrodes to your bum, Mark?
09:37What?
09:38No, of course not
09:39No, me neither
09:44I can smell burning fur
09:46At least you can't feel it
09:48Anyways, it's no surprise that some of history's biggest brains have tried to tackle history's biggest challenges
09:54Like how to help win wars and how to save lives
09:58Mary Curie tried to do both
10:00What do you know about her, Mark?
10:02She was a brilliant Polish-French physicist who did pioneering work with radioactivity
10:07Correct!
10:08And during the First World War, she used her knowledge about X-rays to try and help soldiers on the front line
10:14Yes!
10:15Whoa!
10:16You need to sit down
10:19I don't think I'll be sitting down for some time, Mark
10:23What's up?
10:24Mary Curie here, scientist, brain box and winner of two Nobel Prizes
10:29Count them!
10:30The Science Institute where I teach has shut
10:33Because all the men have been called up into the French army to fight against Germany in this great war
10:38I really want to help them
10:41So, I am sending X-ray machines to the battlefields
10:46Where doctors can use them to check for broken bones, bits of metal in the wounded soldiers
10:52Let's go save some lives!
10:56Oh, that is very heavy
10:58Hashtag, might need a plan
11:03Okay, pas de problème
11:05That's French for sautéed
11:07I have simply adapted both the X-ray machines and the ambulance to serve our purpose!
11:14Woohoo!
11:22Hashtag, need to learn to drive
11:25Oops
11:26Okay, problem solved!
11:28My 17-year-old daughter, Irene, can do the driving while I am learning!
11:34Pedal to the middle, Irene!
11:35Pedal to the middle, Irene!
11:44Hashtag, Irene can't drive either
11:47Awkward!
11:48Okay, we have made it to the front line and we are ready to go to work
11:53Uh, Lieutenant, if you can't just...
11:56Uh...
11:57No...
11:58Okay...
11:59If it's just...
12:00Uh...
12:01Okay, so...
12:02I have only really taught about X-rays
12:05I haven't really used the machines before...
12:07As such
12:10Hashtag, just because I'm brilliant doesn't mean I know everything
12:13Hashtag, I'm a rock!
12:16What?
12:17Well, everything has settled down a bit
12:19And I have organized 200 battlefield X-ray units
12:23And 20 of these mobile X-ray ambulances
12:27They've even called them Little Curies after me
12:30So cute!
12:31So I think I can say I have done my bit
12:34Au revoir!
12:35Come on!
12:36Little Curie away!
12:38Hey!
12:42Hashtag, still not completely shot about the driving!
12:50Well, Dr. Skinner
12:51We're hoping you've come up with something that will help us to defeat the Nazis
12:54Gentlemen, I believe I have
12:56A massive advance in missile accuracy
13:00Piloted missiles
13:02Piloted?
13:03But who would be stupid enough to pilot a missile that was gonna explode?
13:08Gentlemen, meet your new pilot
13:17You want a pigeon to fly the bomb?
13:20Of course not!
13:22I want three pigeons to fly the bomb
13:25Gentlemen
13:26Each pigeon, harnessed inside the missile
13:28Has been trained to peck at the target
13:31When they see it
13:32This pecking transmits a signal via the bird's beak
13:35Which controls the bomb's tail fins
13:38And directs it towards the target
13:40Oh, nein!
13:41You've destroyed my Nazi battleship!
13:44Who'd have suspended a pigeon?
13:47Somebody give Skinner a promotion!
13:50Are we being pranked?
13:51Do you want us to entrust the war to birds?
13:53Birds?
13:54These are no ordinary birds, sir
13:56My pigeons are graduates of the Skinner School of Aviation
14:00You created a flying school for pigeons
14:02Well, they're not gonna train themselves, are they?
14:05Who is this guy?
14:07Let me show you something
14:10What are you doing?
14:11A demonstration, sir
14:12Each pigeon has been trained to ignore the distractions of war
14:17Ah!
14:18My eyes!
14:20My eyes!
14:21See?
14:22It didn't even flinch!
14:23Thank you, Dr. Skinner
14:24We have heard enough
14:26I'm sorry to disappoint you, but it's a terrible idea
14:29I'm sure implementing your pigeon plan would have been a real coup
14:33And I don't want you to get in a flap
14:36But it's time for you and your pigeons to take off
14:42Hey, where'd that pigeon go?
14:47I told you they were trained to hit enemy targets
14:52Okay, so not all wartime ideas were winners
14:56You know, Mark, some people say pigeons are like rats with wings
14:59Talk about a compliment, I'd make a great pigeon
15:10Let's move on to a brilliant wartime brain who really did change all our lives
15:15Alan Turing
15:16Oh, good call
15:18He helped crack an unbreakable Nazi code in World War 2
15:21And turn the tide of the war
15:23However, not everything this genius did was quite as clever
15:26You know, I didn't expect Alan Turing, one of the geniuses who cracked the secret Nazi code, a top computing wizard, to be quite so eccentric
15:41What do you mean, eccentric?
15:43Well, at work, you keep your mug chained to a radiator
15:47That's not eccentric, that's clever
15:49It means I know exactly where my mug is at all times
15:52And you hold your trousers up with string
15:55Well, of course I do
15:57You'd fall down without it
15:59One time, I saw you cycle to work wearing a gas mask
16:02Well, that's to stop me getting hay fever
16:04And it works
16:06Then there's the fact you've got us pushing an empty baby buggy around the woods
16:10I've got to put the treasure in something when I find it, haven't I?
16:13Treasure?
16:14You see, back in 1940, I discovered that silver would be worth more after the war
16:20Okay
16:22So I took my life savings and converted them into two heavy silver ingots
16:26Now that is clever
16:28I then came into the woods, buried the silver, and now we are going to dig it up again
16:33And do you remember where you buried it?
16:35That's the cleverest part
16:36I don't need to
16:38I designed a code to tell me where the treasure is
16:42And it's so devilishly difficult that only I can crack it
16:46All I need to do is solve the code
16:48And we'll know where the silver's buried
16:52Well, what does the code say?
16:55Erm...
16:57Just a minute
16:59You can't crack the code, can you?
17:01Of course I can!
17:03I've cracked some of the most fiendish codes I've ever created
17:05You really think I can crack my own code?
17:07Oh, I'm fine!
17:09I haven't a clue!
17:11Curse passed me for being cleverer than future me!
17:14Let's hire a metal detector
17:16No, I remember
17:18It was by a big tree
17:19Tree!
17:27Would you like me to get that metal detector?
17:30Yes, please!
17:32And a belt?
17:34Yes!
17:36It's Dr. Megaminds!
17:38Ni hao! Confucius here!
17:40Teacher, philosopher, writer of nifty sayings such as
17:45In the wind blows the grass bends
17:48But what you may not know is I also turned my mind to the serious subject of food
17:54Confucius loves nom-noms!
17:56I have some very strong views such as
17:59You should always eat meat with its proper sauce
18:03No sauce, no meat!
18:05And, of course, I hate peaches!
18:08Peaches!
18:09No!
18:10Seriously!
18:12Say no to peaches!
18:13Start with peaches!
18:15Oh, no, wait!
18:16It's a plum
18:17It's a peach! Love the plum!
18:19Panic over!
18:21I'm Buzz Aldrin
18:23Hi! I'm Buzz Aldrin, and I walked on the moon!
18:27That wouldn't have been possible without brain boxes studying the stars and working out how to get me there!
18:34As far back as the ancient Greek times, people were staring up at the heavens and trying to understand how space might work!
18:40Although the people around them at the time weren't always ready to understand their genius!
18:47I wish they'd also thought of a way of letting those out of a spacesuit!
18:52Attention, people of Fessily!
18:55I, Agla Onis, have been studying the moon as I helped develop a science called astronomy!
19:01Astrono-what now?
19:02The science of the stars!
19:04And today, I'm able to give you the perfect example of the uses of this science!
19:09Yay!
19:11Can you juggle? There was a juggler last week!
19:13Oh, he was great!
19:14Top class, then, Stan.
19:16No, no!
19:17But this is much more exciting than juggling!
19:18Using astronomy, I can predict when there will be a full moon, and I can predict a lunar eclipse!
19:25What? Like when the moon disappears or changes colour?
19:28Sure you can!
19:30I predict that there will be a lunar eclipse right now!
19:38See? Astronomy is pretty cool, right?
19:41She's changed the moon!
19:44What? No!
19:45I just told you when it would change, it's gonna be back to normal in a second!
19:50See?
19:52She's a moon witch!
19:54Oh!
19:56Please, don't use your moon witch powers against us!
19:58I'm not a witch, I just love astronomy!
20:01And I'm like, really clever!
20:03You wouldn't act like this if I was a man!
20:05That's exactly what a moon witch would say!
20:07Please do not hurt us, oh moon witch!
20:09Look, let me explain!
20:11Ah!
20:12Her face is gone!
20:13Ah!
20:14She's gone and vanished it with her moon witchy powers!
20:16What?
20:17Ah!
20:18Her face is back!
20:19It was gone!
20:20That was back!
20:21She could make her face go and come at will!
20:23Right, come on guys, this is silly!
20:25Stop worrying about moon powers!
20:27Thank you!
20:28If we worship her, she may use her powers for good!
20:33I'm not a moon witch!
20:35I'm just an astronomer who's devoted years to understanding the stars!
20:40We have angered her!
20:42Tell us about your astronomy, if it will so please you, oh moon witch!
20:45Tell us your boring information!
20:48Okay, it's quite simple really!
20:50The moon, it goes through several of what we call phases!
20:54Starting with the new moon, and then the first quarter, and then...
20:59Shall we see if that juggler's on somewhere else?
21:02All of which I control with my moony witchy powers!
21:05Oh!
21:07She's gonna turn us all into moon rocks!
21:10At least they're listening, I guess.
21:11It's time to make a bite!
21:17Hi, I'm Katherine Johnson, and my marvelous mind helped me graduate from college with degrees in math and French at just 18 years old.
21:26I believe that mathematics is out of this world, which is why I joined the American space agency, NASA.
21:34It's literally rocket science!
21:35I worked on the mathematics of space flight and helped NASA to launch a rocket to orbit the Earth and then land on the moon.
21:42Moon time, baby!
21:44I was so good at math!
21:46The astronaut John Glenn said my mind was smarter than a computer.
21:49Before his 1962 mission to orbit the Earth, he refused to fly until I had personally double-checked the computer's calculations.
21:56Although, if I am really smarter than a computer, how come I can never win this game?
22:04Ugh!
22:06Just five more minutes, then I will definitely get back to work.
22:10Probably.
22:13Game over.
22:14Oh!
22:16Oh, that's what we've been doing anymore.
22:18MPH-
22:40Who's a fan of量, Ter erleblin?
22:42Lovelace
22:47Greetings friends
22:50Are you Ada Lovelace the super brainy 19th century writer and mathematician?
22:55But yes, but then I am
22:58Loomay
23:00I'm sorry. I was under the impression that this was the little mathematician's room. I'm really really needed
23:06Ada Lovelace you have by means. We do not need to go into right now
23:12From the 19th century to use my first-rate toilet facility
23:18Where are they?
23:20Then people are usually quite impressed by them
23:24Answer questions one or two and I'll let you do a
23:28It's plot quiz time
23:32Mathematician Ada Lovelace you must answer two questions about your life before you may work out your pressing logarithms
23:42What is your weirdest secret?
23:44Well when I was a teenager I developed an irrational fear of beds and so I stepped on the floor
23:50That is pretty weird
23:53Tell us a little known fact about you Ada Lovelace
23:56Well, I I've worked with my friend the inventor Charles Babbage
23:59I described how he could program his computational machine to solve complex connections
24:04Charles Babbage is remembered as the inventor of something called a
24:08Computer and you're remembered as one of the first computer programs
24:13Yes, that's right. I've done your questions now
24:16I'm going away
24:17You may be
24:18Join us next time when I'll be stopping more historical celebs from doing a poo to ask questions
24:25Just for you
24:27You're one to two to really adding up there, Ada
24:32Strange guy, Lou man
24:36We've got something in common, you know
24:38Is it the smell?
24:39No, we both look good in a cape
24:42What do you mean the smell?
24:43Charming
24:44Well, you do live in the sewer
24:45That's fair
24:46Well, we've come to the end
24:48And I suppose the best advice if you want to be a brilliant brain like that lot is to try your best
24:54Be creative
24:55Think outside the box
24:58And be as unusual as you like
25:00This lady certainly did that
25:0212th century German nun Hildegard von Bingham was a brainy pioneer who did a bit of everything
25:08She's like none other, Mark
25:11You know, because she's a nun
25:13That's a terrible joke
25:15Don't make a habit of it
25:16Since the age of seven
25:25I've been living in a nunnery
25:29Hildegard von Bingham, that is me
25:31I'm quite brainy
25:33Cause I feel inspired
25:36So many ideas bursting through
25:40My brain hums with things to do
25:42Every day
25:44I look around and the sick need meds to cure them
25:49I'll write mine down in book form
25:52Let's spread our knowledge round the ver-her-hold
25:57And I said, ooh, I'm guided by insights
26:02My mind is firing
26:05I thought you let this down
26:07And I said, ooh, so many books to write
26:13Got to share all of this knowledge that I found
26:18For a bit of fun
26:21I made up a secret language
26:25Tea-tostomy-a-titch
26:27Cooler tea
26:29A dog
26:30And music is my thing
26:32I write hymns and chants to sing
26:36Their first musical morality play
26:39Yeah, I stay
26:41I look around and the natural world astounds me
26:46Note down all that surrounds me
26:48Wrote nine volumes
26:50Think I covered everything
26:53And I say, ooh, my mind is feeling bright
26:58Yes, I'm a woman
27:01But I've got knowledge too
27:03I'm writing letters every day
27:07To begs and emperors to say
27:10If you listen, I can show you a better way
27:14And I say, ooh, I'm guided by insights
27:21My mind is firing
27:23Hope I'm inspiring you
27:25And I say, ooh, the future's looking bright
27:32If we can think it, we could make it true
27:36I, I can, I've got my name
27:46What you do with
27:48Thanks, more difficult that looks
27:50And help NASA to launch a rocket
27:52To the orbit
27:53The past is no longer a mystery
27:57Hope you enjoyed
27:58Horrible Histories
28:01If there's an edge
28:02Hope you enjoyed
28:13For more insan
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