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QI (2003) Season 23 Episode 1
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FunTranscript
00:00Thank you very much.
00:30Thank you very much.
01:00And a very Welsh name, but he's from Essex, Alan Davis.
01:07Let's hear their Wales songs.
01:14Here he goes.
01:23Griff goes.
01:29And Alan goes.
01:36And Alan goes.
01:38He's always done with me.
01:40Farmer, sir.
01:42And his engine's running clean.
01:44Farmer, sir.
01:45Right.
01:46Right.
01:47Let's begin with an easy one.
01:52Pwy syn syarad cymraeg.
01:53I mean, it does sound like I've been drinking.
01:58It does.
01:59Really.
02:00Did I say that wrong, Ellison?
02:01No, you made a very good attempt, I thought.
02:03Right.
02:04Like a stab.
02:05Can you say it for me?
02:06Pwy syn syarad cymraeg.
02:07Pwy syn syarad cymraeg.
02:08Yeah.
02:09Some of our panel will know that that means who speaks Welsh.
02:12According to the last census, there are 538,300 Welsh speakers in the UK.
02:17That's just under 1% of the UK population.
02:20But it's about one in six living in Wales.
02:22Is it your first language, Ellison?
02:23First language.
02:24Language I would speak with my mum and dad and my sisters, yeah.
02:27And did you ever get told that you shouldn't be speaking it?
02:30No, no.
02:31That certainly happened to my parents' generation.
02:34But it was the language I was educated in at school.
02:37Griff, do you speak any Welsh?
02:38I mean, maybe.
02:46What do you think?
02:48That means, I'm sorry I don't speak any Welsh.
02:51In fact, I've no idea what I'm saying.
02:54And Kiri, let's get your credentials.
02:59Well, I'm a Welsh learner, so...
03:01OK.
03:02But I live in a very Welsh-speaking area of Wales,
03:04so I do speak it on a daily basis, but I wouldn't say to any great level.
03:08And I spend a lot of time nodding and smiling
03:11and agreeing to all kinds of things, I can tell you.
03:14No idea.
03:15Yes.
03:16I do that in English.
03:17Well, the language is on the rebound
03:20because in the early 19th century they tried to suppress it.
03:23Yes.
03:24My grandparents were...
03:26Well, they were beaten in school for speaking Welsh.
03:29They encouraged the idea that Welsh was sort of an uncivilised language.
03:33Yeah.
03:34And it should be eradicated because it was holding the nation back.
03:36So people thought they were doing the best thing for their children
03:38by stopping them from speaking Welsh, which is really sad.
03:42Well, I mean, there were riots.
03:43They were known as the Rebecca Riots, which took place in the 19th century.
03:46And it's men, it's farmers, I think, dressed up.
03:48Yeah, dressed as women.
03:49That was a toll booth thing.
03:51Yeah.
03:52The toll booths were prohibitively expensive,
03:54so a lot of farmers thought, well, we'll just knock them down.
03:57They needed a disguise.
03:58Yeah.
03:59So they dressed up in their wives' car thing.
04:01Even the women.
04:02To any young farmers event, you'll know it's any excuse for Welsh men to put a frock on.
04:07Yeah, yeah, yeah.
04:08And the toll booths was just a very handy excuse at the time.
04:11Yeah.
04:12Like, this dress won't wear itself.
04:13See, I think it's a wonderful thing.
04:15I would certainly learn Welsh if I was in Wales.
04:18Do you feel a sort of a jealousy that Essex doesn't have its own kind of lingo?
04:23They've got plenty of lingo.
04:24Oh, yeah.
04:27Literally, obviously, literally, obviously is the bane.
04:31Well, literally, obviously.
04:32Yeah, obviously, obviously.
04:33You can't turn around to me, obviously.
04:35And, obviously, literally, you can't turn around and say that.
04:40That's perfect sense.
04:41A perfect sense.
04:42Two people could say that to each other for hours.
04:45I think we've established that Alan and I don't know anything.
04:48Right.
04:49So, we are going to play a quick game of which Welsh word is which?
05:01So, we're going to have a list of words put up here.
05:04And we're going to choose one.
05:05That's just a list of anagrams.
05:07It's wonderful, isn't it?
05:09Let's choose bottom right.
05:10Let's choose penglog.
05:11How do you say it?
05:12Penglog.
05:13Oh, correct.
05:14Yeah.
05:15Yeah.
05:16Why is she like a native?
05:17And let's go round.
05:18Kiri, what do you think it means, penglog?
05:20Well, I know.
05:21No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
05:22We're going to try and guess.
05:23Yeah, but I was going to make it seem like a no for all of them.
05:25Oh, I see.
05:26Okay.
05:27Okay.
05:28This is like all my blood.
05:29I'm playing to win.
05:30Okay.
05:32I've got some wet wipes.
05:33This will be the prize.
05:36I don't know why they give me wet wipes.
05:37I don't know what I might have done sitting here.
05:41They give me the wet wipes as well.
05:42Do you have them as well?
05:43Yeah.
05:44Just since we've got a little bit older.
05:45Yes.
05:46No, too young and relevant.
05:47Right.
05:48Go for it.
05:49Penglog.
05:50Penglog.
05:51Skull.
05:52Skull.
05:53Ellis?
05:54Er, that feeling you get when you've had one pint too many.
05:57Okay.
05:58And, Griff?
05:59It's the U bend.
06:00In a toilet.
06:04Ruling out Ellis.
06:05Yeah.
06:18Because?
06:19On my 18th birthday, I was Penglog.
06:20Your penglog, yeah.
06:22You were ruling out Ellis because?
06:26Doesn't feel like a thing you'd have a word for but then I have been to Wales quite
06:31By about six o'clock on a Saturday most people are peng-glob
06:34I'm gonna go with Griff
06:36It's the toilet goes glog fine, okay
06:45It's onomatopoeic but wrong
06:47Oh, so who is it?
06:51It means skull. It means skull. Yes. Okay. All right. Let's try another one. Let's try
06:57Clostinoddy
06:58Top of the middle. How do we say it? Clistnoddy. Clist? Clistnoddy. So close to rude. Okay
07:05Clistnoddy. Right, Griff. Hemorrhoids
07:11I'm gonna go with that. Yes. When you come back from the shop and the one thing you went to buy you've forgotten
07:22Baked beans
07:24Emorrhoids, baked beans, or the thing you forgot that you meant to get
07:28Elias, okay. Do Madaleteen...
07:30...Cala...err...
07:32Naga naga naga
07:34Didn't be...didn't be scared by them. Oh, okay
07:36Okay, okay
07:37This is why they banned it
07:39The producer speaks in my ear and says none of you have given the correct definition
07:55We had a conversation and I said you were meant to give the right answer and he went well, it wasn't me
07:59Well, it wasn't me
08:01It wasn't me!
08:02Okay, who...
08:03We didn't do this word
08:05What is it?
08:07Is that what it means?
08:09I don't know. Does it mean conspiracy?
08:13Well, I'm ruling out hemorrhoid
08:15Yes
08:16You know, that's what the wet wipes are for
08:18Oh, it's a good rule out hemorrhoid
08:22Who's got the right answer? Nobody's got the right answer
08:24I mean, I know the right answer
08:26Yeah, what is it?
08:27It means to ring fence or earmark
08:29Oh, yours was much more interesting
08:30Oh, yeah, yeah
08:31That's very good
08:32Alright, let's try one more and see if anybody actually knows what it means
08:34Let's try umfrostio, which is a kind of cereal
08:38Mmmfrostio
08:40How do you say it?
08:41Umfrostio
08:42Umfrostio
08:43Right, Griff
08:44Umfrostio
08:46Is to defrost
08:48Okay, to defrost
08:50It means to boast
08:52Or to show off
08:53Griff?
08:54To go swimming in Pembrokeshire
09:02Alan, what do you reckon?
09:03Well, I like the sound of Griff's one
09:05It's a very beautiful part of the world
09:07Pembrokeshire
09:08I love Pembrokeshire
09:09So I'm going to go with that one
09:10Let's go with that, is that right?
09:11No, that's not right
09:12No
09:13Incorrect
09:14Oh, it's the other one
09:15Yeah, it means to show off or to bust
09:17Okay, I like that
09:19And now from the language of whales to the language of whales
09:22Could anybody please give me your impression of a sperm whale communicating with a killer whale?
09:27You can do what you want, babe
09:28You're a killer whale
09:30I'm just sperm
09:33Yeah
09:34If he said
09:35My head's too big for you
09:38That's too big
09:39You'll break your jaw
09:40Try it
09:42Why is my eye so far back from the front?
09:46My eye has ended up really in my tummy
09:50Anyway, apparently, I have it on good authority
09:52The sound that sperm whales make is more like
09:56Yeah
09:57Sorry
10:00Anybody know the other name for killer whales?
10:02Orcus
10:03Orcus, absolutely right
10:04So they tend to eat smaller fish basically
10:06But very rare occasions they will attack the sperm whale
10:09Even though it is, you know, twice the size and they live in quite large groups
10:12How do you think that the sperm whales protect themselves from the killer whales?
10:17Ejaculate
10:18The thing is
10:19The thing is
10:20A very powerful jet of ejaculate
10:21The thing is
10:22The thing is
10:23The thing is
10:24You're so close to the right answer
10:25The thing is
10:26The thing is
10:27The thing is
10:28The thing is
10:29You're so close to the right answer
10:30Oh, I'm always close
10:31Oh, I'm always close
10:32LAUGHTER
10:34Oh, I'm always close.
10:36APPLAUSE
10:40It's not just because it's a sperm well.
10:42It does ejaculate other things, it does throw out other things.
10:44What might it be? Oil.
10:46Not oil, not wee. What's the other thing?
10:48Poo. Poo. Poo.
10:50It is called... There's shit on them. They do.
10:55It's called defensive defecation, so...
10:58I've been practicing that for years.
11:00That's why I've got the wet wipe.
11:02LAUGHTER
11:09What they do is they form into a huddle
11:11with their heads facing into the centre
11:13and they put all the youngest and most vulnerable members
11:16of the group into the centre.
11:18Then as the orcas attack, they release massive amounts of diarrhoea.
11:23Is this really a thing they do or are they just crapping them?
11:27Yeah.
11:28It's like, what if... What if they've just been?
11:31LAUGHTER
11:32And they're like, oh, God, why didn't you attack me five minutes ago?
11:36I'm ready to go.
11:37The mum's in the middle going,
11:38just have a try for me, please.
11:40LAUGHTER
11:41And they've seen this in Western Australia, researchers.
11:43Not only do they spread diarrhoea out,
11:45they then flap their tails like this and the orcas just...
11:47Spreading around?
11:48The orcas just bugger off.
11:49Wow.
11:50Oh, you would.
11:51Yeah, absolutely.
11:52I'm not eating that.
11:53LAUGHTER
11:54So it's known as flocculent, which means it's woolly,
11:58but it just means it's got little tiny pieces in it,
12:00so it's bits that have not been digested well.
12:02But, Kiri, you get a point of talking about the mum's weirdly saying,
12:05come on, you can do this.
12:06Oh, I thought you were going to say, cos you've done it.
12:07No!
12:08They have a...
12:09Did they see it at Pembrokeshire?
12:11Both the sperm whales and the orcas have a matrilineal system,
12:15so it's basically an older female or a matriarch,
12:18and she is the respected leader of all the pod.
12:21She's the mama, the mama is in charge.
12:23Love that.
12:24Mama the pooper.
12:25LAUGHTER
12:26You shit and you shit.
12:29LAUGHTER
12:31So, we're talking about different kinds of food,
12:36who communicates by wobbling their melons?
12:39LAUGHTER
12:42Certain actresses in films starring Benny Hill in the 1960s.
12:48Barbara Windsor.
12:49We're back to the Welsh Young Farmers again, aren't we?
12:51LAUGHTER
12:53So, we're still with whales.
12:55So, here's all the different kinds that there are,
12:57and one of them communicates by wobbling their melons.
13:00Which one do you think it might be?
13:02Oh, is it...is it the beluga?
13:04It is the beluga, and I like that you just did that,
13:06because that is kind of...
13:07Yes!
13:08They look like they need colouring in.
13:10LAUGHTER
13:12So, they live in the Arctic,
13:14similar kind of length and weight as a Volkswagen Beetle, OK?
13:17That's kind of how big they are.
13:18And so, they have these big bumps on the front of their heads,
13:21they're made of a waxy fat,
13:23and they can change the shape of it at will,
13:26and that is how they communicate.
13:28They order them 30 times more often when they're socialising
13:31than when they're alone.
13:33The latest research shows.
13:34Let's have a quick look, because it is sort of astonishing.
13:36Whoa!
13:38Whoa!
13:39Oh, that's what my kids are like when they have ice cream.
13:42LAUGHTER
13:44Brain freeze! Brain freeze!
13:46So, it seems to be associated with courtship,
13:50but obviously there is a whole language there that we haven't decoded.
13:53It looks painful.
13:54I can't...
13:55Yes, it does.
13:56Like, you just...
13:57Say yes or no, are you into me or not?
13:59LAUGHTER
14:04Right, moving on.
14:05LAUGHTER
14:07What's the best way to upset a Japanese whaler?
14:10Well, I'd have thought it was impossible to, isn't it?
14:12Upset a Japanese whaler?
14:13Yeah, because imagine you're a Japanese whaler,
14:15and the people say,
14:16what do you do?
14:17And you go,
14:18I harpoon whale.
14:20OK.
14:21Make something of it.
14:22It must be as hard as nails.
14:23Right, so that's one kind of whaler.
14:25What other kind of whaler...
14:27Oh, that's in Bob Marley and the Whalers.
14:29Oh, OK.
14:30Japanese Bob Marley tribute pack.
14:32LAUGHTER
14:35Do we have footage?
14:36LAUGHTER
14:39Who else wails?
14:41Oh, mourners.
14:42No, babies.
14:44So, in Japan,
14:45whaling babies are regarded as really healthy.
14:48Now, is there anybody who speaks Japanese in the audience
14:51while we're doing this?
14:52Yes, I'm Japanese.
14:54Am I going to say something in Japanese?
14:55Can you see if you can understand me?
14:57Naku ko wa sudatsu?
14:59Crying baby is growing well.
15:02Oh, I got it right.
15:03Crying babies grow, yes.
15:05APPLAUSE
15:06Crying babies grow.
15:08So, crying babies grow because the screams of a baby
15:13are supposed to ward off evil spirits.
15:15And since the high-end period of 8th to the 12th century,
15:18they have had crying competitions, which are called konakizumo.
15:22Two babies are held in front of each other until one of them cries.
15:26LAUGHTER
15:27Right?
15:28And the last 30 years or so, these events have taken place at a Shinto shrine.
15:33And what happens is, fully kitted out sumo wrestlers each hold a baby and shout,
15:39knacky knacky knacky knacky knacky, or cry.
15:41The first baby to cry is the winner.
15:43And if they don't cry, then other people put on scary masks and make them.
15:49LAUGHTER
15:51Biggest of these festivals is at the Asakusa Temple in Tokyo.
15:55There's no prize, and yet people enter a sort of ballot to be the ones to put their babies in for this.
16:01The prize is a huge amount of therapy as an adult, I think.
16:04LAUGHTER
16:05Now, what is this Welsh woman selling?
16:11Yes.
16:12Ellis.
16:13Soap.
16:14Is absolutely right.
16:15Yes!
16:21This is the picture that hangs in every Welsh home at one stage or another.
16:26Yeah, yeah, yeah.
16:27And if you look at it, there's the devil in the arm.
16:30That is exactly right.
16:31Let's start with the soap.
16:32Yes.
16:33Every single relative of mine has this framed in the house.
16:36And I thought, as Welsh people, we just loved it.
16:40As a nation, we looked at that painting and were like,
16:42yeah, that's art.
16:43That's where art begins and ends, actually.
16:45LAUGHTER
16:46But it was given away with soap powder, I think.
16:48Yeah, sunlight soap powder.
16:49So the painting was actually purchased by Lord Leverhulme,
16:52and they own sunlight soap.
16:54And it became often the only piece of art in a Welsh home.
16:58Is that why all my family has it? I didn't realise!
17:01God, this is a revelation, isn't it?
17:03Oh, yeah, yeah.
17:04And my uncle was amongst the dirtiest people over there.
17:07LAUGHTER
17:08It's a painting from 1908.
17:09It's called Salem, and it is by Sydney Vosper.
17:12It depicts the Salem Baptist Chapel.
17:14Oh, in North Wales, yeah.
17:15It's in Gwynedd.
17:16For years, I was told the reason you could see the devil in her shawl
17:20was that she was late for chapel.
17:22Yes.
17:23Someone pointed out to me that, if you look at the clock,
17:25she's actually about five minutes early.
17:27LAUGHTER
17:29How many faces can you see in this picture?
17:31Oh, well, there's one, two, three, four, five...
17:33There's seven, eight, nine, eight, eight.
17:35Oh, there's someone in the window.
17:37That's it. Let's have a quick look.
17:38So, if I just come over and show you...
17:39So, if you have a look...
17:42LAUGHTER
17:44You want a piggyback?
17:47Manu!
17:48Have we got a ladder, darling?
17:49Can I have a ladder to get...?
17:51Can I have a ladder?
17:53Seriously?
17:54LAUGHTER
18:00Oh, this is rather good, isn't it?
18:01Oh, that is good.
18:03Low pressure, high pressure.
18:05LAUGHTER
18:06So, there's supposed to be a face there, but also,
18:08what were you saying, Griff?
18:09You were saying about in the shawl...
18:11Yes, apparently, there's a face.
18:12So, theoretically, this is the beard here,
18:15and this is the eye,
18:16and this is the horn of the devil,
18:18but I don't know.
18:19The painter said he was, but he denied it
18:21and said there was no such thing.
18:22Was that a thing in your family?
18:23Did you say that there was a devil?
18:24Oh, yeah, yeah.
18:25Oh, yeah, so...
18:26I was also told that if you could see the devil,
18:28that meant you were cursed,
18:29but that's what happens when you have two big brothers!
18:31LAUGHTER
18:33We were talking about hats.
18:34How many hats are depicted in the painting?
18:37One, two, three, four hats there.
18:40BUZZER
18:45No, by the time this painting was done, so, 1908,
18:48Welsh hats had gone out of favour.
18:50They were only able to find one, so everybody wore the same hat.
18:53I did a Welsh history module for my degree,
18:56and I remember reading that I were peasantry in terms of fashion.
19:01We were 150 years behind the English.
19:04LAUGHTER
19:06I mean, I know the feeling.
19:08LAUGHTER
19:09What's the last thing male whales need when they're having sex?
19:14Foreplay.
19:15Yeah.
19:16Because if it's extended, they're under water
19:18and they're running out of breath, aren't they?
19:20You don't want it very long.
19:22LAUGHTER
19:23Or do you go up, get a breather and come down and start all over again?
19:25Here's what I want you to think of.
19:26These creatures are the size of a fully loaded 18-wheeler truck, OK?
19:33And no-one had ever seen them having sex.
19:37So, two humpback whales, first time anybody had ever seen them having sex was in 2024.
19:412024?
19:42Yes, off the island of Maui in Hawaii, because they mate in very, very deep water.
19:47This is the only time it has ever been seen that two humpback whales are having sex.
19:53And they're both boys.
19:54LAUGHTER
19:55So, the answer is, what does a male whale not need to have sex?
20:00A female is the...
20:02LAUGHTER
20:03..is the answer.
20:05APPLAUSE
20:07Well, I just like the idea that the gay ones are just a bit more exhibitionist.
20:10They're like, shall we go upstairs?
20:12LAUGHTER
20:13It's so interesting that you say the gay ones, because that is not how scientists think, right?
20:17So, same-sex behaviour, it's known in at least 261 species.
20:21So, it's in walruses and seals and dolphins.
20:23And all of the scientific speculation is, oh, they're playing, they made a mistake.
20:28LAUGHTER
20:29He just fell!
20:30Experimenting.
20:31LAUGHTER
20:32Reducing tension.
20:33LAUGHTER
20:35What's a sperm whale?
20:36Tripped over.
20:37LAUGHTER
20:38Anyway, so, the documenting of same-sex behaviour has often been coloured by the moral code of the particular researcher.
20:47My favourite is a 1987 study of homosexual mating in monarch butterflies in the Atlas Mountains of Morocco,
20:54which was published as,
20:55a note on the apparent lowering of moral standards in Lepidopatra.
21:00LAUGHTER
21:02Male fruit flies have sex with each other in a conga line.
21:05I'm just saying.
21:06LAUGHTER
21:08And that is a Welsh stag do, actually.
21:10LAUGHTER
21:12Never again.
21:14LAUGHTER
21:16In other breaking humpback news, they have recently been found to be using tools.
21:21So, I'd define a tool for you.
21:23Using an external object that isn't attached to anything to change the shape, position or condition of something else.
21:29What tool might humpbacks use?
21:32Would it be a humpback scratcher?
21:35How big would that need to be?
21:37LAUGHTER
21:38OK, it's really clever.
21:39It's bubbles.
21:40Oh.
21:41So, what they do is they dive down below the prey and they swim in circles and they release bubbles from their blowhole.
21:48Have a look at this.
21:49Oh, what?
21:50This is incredible.
21:51It creates a rising curtain in which the prey, so we're talking about krill and small fish, they can't or they won't swim through it.
21:57And then they swim up through the middle and catch.
22:00I mean, it's unbelievably clever and they can shrink the mesh size, if you like, in order to make it harder for the prey to escape.
22:07I like that we've gone back to the porn picture.
22:10LAUGHTER
22:11Humpback food comes bubble-wrapped.
22:14LAUGHTER
22:16APPLAUSE
22:22From bubbles to baubles, have a look at these crowns.
22:25The one on the left is Queen Mary's crown and the diamond in the front there is the Koh-i-Noor, the fabled treasure of the Mughal emperors.
22:34The one on the right is the Imperial State crown.
22:36So, the red stone on the front is known as the Black Prince's ruby and, like the Koh-i-Noor diamond, it comes originally from Afghanistan.
22:42It was actually worn by Henry V at the Battle of Agincourt.
22:45But have a look now at the golden orb atop the coronet of the Prince of Wales.
22:52Where do you think that came from?
22:54Was that designed by Lord Snowdon, who had a lot to do with the Prince of Wales and that investiture?
23:01Didn't he design everything to do with it?
23:03Well, so, it didn't happen until 1969 this particular one was designed, so it is perfectly possible that he had to do it.
23:09Because the original one was purloined by Edward VIII when he abdicated and took it away.
23:13So they had to have a brand new coronet and they couldn't get it to work because they kept trying to make this beautiful golden orb at the top.
23:22So what did they do in the end, do you think?
23:25Did they just spray paint the ball that's inside a toilet cistern?
23:29LAUGHTER
23:30I mean, you're not far off.
23:32LAUGHTER
23:33Is it Elizabeth Duke?
23:35LAUGHTER
23:38It's a ping-pong ball.
23:39Is it?
23:40No!
23:41Yes, it's a ping-pong ball.
23:43They kept trying to make one and it kept falling apart and then somebody thought,
23:46oh, wait a minute, a ping-pong ball is the perfect size.
23:48So they electro-plated a ping-pong ball.
23:52It's also art attack, isn't it?
23:54Like Neil Buchanan.
23:55I don't know, Neil Buchanan, absolutely right.
23:57Only the best for Wales.
23:59LAUGHTER
24:02They've conquered whole kingdoms to get hold of diamonds and rubies,
24:07but when it comes to Wales, a ping-pong ball.
24:10We'll have a ping-pong ball.
24:11Anybody know the Welsh for ping-pong?
24:13No, go on.
24:14Want me to help you?
24:15Yeah, go on.
24:16It's ping-pong.
24:17LAUGHTER
24:18Right, time for general ignorance.
24:20Staying with our Wales theme for a moment,
24:22older viewers may remember John Redwood, MP.
24:25Oh.
24:26When he was the Welsh secretary,
24:29miming to the Welsh national anthem.
24:32Unfortunately, we were not allowed to show the video of it.
24:36LAUGHTER
24:37It's been used so many times.
24:39Take the piss out of John Redwood
24:41that it now breaks BBC impartiality guidelines to show it.
24:44LAUGHTER
24:46I get cold chills when I see it because when I went to high school,
24:49we had to learn the Welsh national anthem and I just...
24:51I didn't speak any Welsh and I was really struggling with it
24:53and I...
24:54My punishment was I had to go back in on my own
24:57and sing it one-on-one to.
24:59Oh!
25:00Oh, my God!
25:01I know, it was horrific, but she's dead now, so...
25:04LAUGHTER
25:06Do you...
25:07Can you sing the Welsh national anthem?
25:08My hand, Vlad, then had I an unwillingly me?
25:12Oh, that's fantastic.
25:14No, that's as much as I know!
25:16LAUGHTER
25:21So, looking at this picture and springing off it,
25:23what I really want to know is which state has the most redwoods?
25:27Ooh!
25:29Darling, it's got to be California, isn't it?
25:32BUZZER
25:37Oregon?
25:38Er...
25:39No!
25:40BUZZER
25:41BUZZER
25:42Is it even in North America?
25:44No.
25:45No.
25:46Sussex.
25:47LAUGHTER
25:49You get the point.
25:50BUZZER
25:51APPLAUSE
25:53So, not just Sussex, it's in the UK, which is a national state.
26:00The UK has many, many more redwoods than, for example, California.
26:03The UK Forestry Commission estimate that there are half a million redwoods in Britain
26:08and there's about 80,000 in California.
26:10So, they were introduced in the 1850s by the Victorians
26:14and the Victorians brought thousands of seeds and saplings from the United States.
26:18So, the ones in the US have had longer to grow,
26:21which means that they are taller.
26:23So, some of them reach up to nearly 300 feet in the United States.
26:28The tallest one in the UK is in centre parks in Longleat Forest in Wiltshire.
26:32It's 170 years old and it's about 177 feet.
26:35But they can live for up to 2,000 years and I feel we will get there.
26:39We will get there.
26:40There's plenty of time to catch up.
26:42And finally, can you name any Prime Minister who was born in Wales?
26:48Lloyd George.
26:50No.
26:51So, he was the only one to speak Welsh as the first language.
26:58Only one of any political party who was Welsh, but he was born in Manchester.
27:02So, not him.
27:03Oh.
27:04Bang one.
27:05Callaghan?
27:06Callaghan is not the right answer.
27:09As it happens, it is a friend of mine and I texted and I said,
27:13would you send us a message?
27:15And here it is.
27:16Hi.
27:17My name's Julia Gillard.
27:18I was the 27th Prime Minister of Australia.
27:20And yes, I was born in Barrie, Wales.
27:23Alan, I really hope you got that right.
27:26She's a good woman.
27:27She's a very good woman and it was very kind of her to do it.
27:38I did appreciate it.
27:39Julia Gillard was born in Old South Wales.
27:43Which brings us to the scores.
27:45In first place, our Princess of Wales, Wales and Wales tonight with three whole points is Kiri.
27:51In second place, slightly blue on the whale front with minus one, it's Ellis.
28:04In third place, Wailing and Weeping with minus nine, it's Griff.
28:10And in last place, whale, whale, whale, it's Moby Dickhead.
28:15Um...
28:16APPLAUSE
28:22At minus 48, it's Alan.
28:25APPLAUSE
28:34Well, that's all from Ellis, Griff, Kiri and Alan.
28:37And I leave you with these wise words from award-winning writer Dave Barry.
28:42If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?
28:46Good night.
28:47APPLAUSE
28:49Up top of our programme.
28:53You can see them.
28:54We need both our stars with light on track.
28:55We want to see them.
28:56Up top of our SARS-CoV-1.
28:57That's what our appointment has captured down.
28:58I will give you purple.
29:00I will give you!
29:01And I love you.
29:02You who the relationship?
29:03There is clear what vs bur conna Or Yeah.
29:04Do your知!
29:05To someone else.
29:06Who does not know you want?
29:07There are no other actors with UK.
29:08We are looking for people.
29:09You're looking for people to request them.
29:10This is the answers for the rest.
29:11And what else will be!
29:12The tastes will love us.
29:14What about you!
29:15Thanks?
29:16You're looking for!
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