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BRITCOM III
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00:00Music
00:05Music
00:10Music
00:20Music
00:24Music
00:26Let's meet my wing men and women the freewheeling Aisling B
00:45It's Desiree birch
00:56And winging it as usual, it's Alan Davis
01:06The buzzers are all wheel-based, so let it spin Aisling goes
01:14Desiree goes
01:19Oh, I'm off. Yeah, right. Okay, you ready Hank go
01:26And Alan goes
01:38Let's get things rolling. What use is an upside-down wheelbarrow? Is it a nice alternative to the missionary position?
01:49Especially in the dirt
01:51Hey
01:53You know how you've got a pen and paper could you do a diagram of how
01:58I could just show you, Sandy, to be honest
02:02You heterosexuals, you're a mystery to me
02:06We are talking about warfare. We're going back to medieval China
02:10So they used to use them as makeshift barricades. You'd place an upside-down
02:14wheelbarrow, a whole lot of them in a tangled line to protect from the cavalry
02:17It's much faster than digging a trench
02:19You'd need that many wheelbarrows to dig a trench in the first place
02:22Well, there is that, yes
02:24The Chinese historians called them mobile forts
02:26And what is extraordinary?
02:28Wheelbarrows did not appear in Europe until the 12th century
02:32Even though they had been used in China for at least a thousand years
02:35And the Europeans, they'd heard about Chinese wheelbarrows
02:38But they had never seen one and that is why ours looks so different
02:42So this is a Chinese wheelbarrow
02:44And the thing about the Chinese wheelbarrow
02:46We have a little model here
02:47Is that it has a single wheel
02:49Right in the middle rather than the one that we have
02:52Which is at the front end
02:54Uh-huh
02:55What do you think in terms of which is better?
02:57I mean, whichever one I don't have to use to do gardening
03:00Yeah
03:01I think once you've got the Chinese one up on its wheel
03:04Yep
03:05It's less weight for you to carry around
03:07Yeah, the fulcrum is closer to you
03:10I think our one is easier to get around
03:12Well, it rather depends on what you're carrying
03:14So this Chinese one is much better at carrying loads over a long distance
03:17Because the wheel takes all of the weight
03:19Whereas with this one you split the weight between the wheelbarrow and the person who is doing it
03:23In terms of tipping things out, this one is going to be a little bit easier
03:26Right
03:27I love these, I've finally found one that's the right size for me to be in a wheelbarrow race
03:31LAUGHTER
03:32That's exciting
03:33Wheelbarrow races, anybody ever had taken part?
03:35Oh, sure
03:36Yeah
03:37I think humans, can I look at us?
03:39LAUGHTER
03:40If you saw like a couple of cats doing that
03:43You'd be like, that's the best thing I've ever seen
03:46And you'd get the same crowd watching if it was cats
03:48Yeah
03:49I've always found them absolutely terrifying, these wheelbarrow races
03:53Because you're relying on the person in front of you not being enthusiastic about the end goal
03:57Yes
03:58I just had an image of you and I doing a wheelbarrow race
04:00I'm trying to wake up
04:01I'm trying to wake up
04:02Would you be holding or?
04:03Interesting now, Sandy
04:04And this does bring us back to slightly sexy territory, I suppose
04:08I think, I think I'd be holding you
04:11I'm, I'm just going to need a minute
04:13OK
04:14LAUGHTER
04:16They really indoctrinate you at school with wheelbarrow races
04:20Well, these are the skills you're going to need for life
04:22Yeah
04:23So once a year
04:24The whole school is going to compete against each other
04:26Because this reflects what will happen as adults
04:28Yeah
04:29So, Saoirse, lift up your legs there now and run out
04:31LAUGHTER
04:32You can see it though
04:33Like, the three-legged race is kind of preparing for marriage, isn't it?
04:36Yes
04:37Attached to somebody but a bit hobbled by it
04:39LAUGHTER
04:41In our school, we would have the egg and spoon race
04:44But it was always called the egg and spoon race
04:48But we did it with potatoes
04:54And I'm seeing this now
04:56And I, so this is the first time in all of my history on television
04:59That my mother is actually in the audience
05:01So she can heckle
05:02But we used to be able to bring in our own potatoes for it
05:05LAUGHTER
05:07So, my mother who is a sports person
05:10She's a retired jockey
05:11And so she would be naturally a bit competitive
05:13Yes
05:14Wow
05:15And somehow, she's still taller than you
05:16LAUGHTER
05:18APPLAUSE
05:25Oh, she's going to kill me now
05:26Where is she?
05:27Oh, there she is
05:28Oh, there she is
05:29Oh, there she is
05:30Yeah, I was going to say
05:31But you can tell from here
05:32She's tired
05:33You can see it from here
05:34I'm on the sea
05:35I can't believe you
05:36Yeah, this is right
05:37Sandy, I think this is a losing battle
05:38Do you think?
05:39LAUGHTER
05:41I'm sorry, Mammy
05:42But we do have to measure you for science
05:43Yep
05:44Ooh
05:45Yeah
05:46LAUGHTER
05:47APPLAUSE
05:48I feel like that
05:49I feel like that
05:50I feel like that
05:51What?
05:52That's...
05:53That's...
05:54What you said to me
05:55What?
05:56I'll kill her, I'll kill her
05:57LAUGHTER
05:58LAUGHTER
05:59So, Mammy, you might even kill me further
06:02Because I remember
06:03We had to pick the potatoes out for our egg and spoon race
06:06And Mammy was like, here, try this one, it's small
06:08And when you get the spoon, try and dig the spoon underneath
06:11Yeah
06:12LAUGHTER
06:13And I was like, come on
06:14Yep
06:15And then we got into school
06:17And the nun said to make it fair
06:19Everyone has to put their potatoes into a bag
06:22And shake them up
06:23Oh, wake them up
06:24And then we all have to be
06:25And I got a massive
06:26Oh
06:27Someone's massive spud
06:28And I was trying to dig the spoon in underneath
06:30Those fucking egalitarian
06:32LAUGHTER
06:34We were robbed, Tommy
06:35We were robbed
06:36I think humans are adorable
06:38This is all...
06:39I think we do this in preparation for aliens
06:41Like, if aliens come and they're like
06:43You have to prove to yourself that we shouldn't destroy you
06:45They're like, see all these terrible things you did
06:47And we're like, but wait
06:48Egg and spoon
06:50Wait till they see the satellite
06:52LAUGHTER
06:54Sometimes in rodeos they do wheelbarrow races
06:56Do they?
06:57So a man pushes another man who is in a wheelbarrow
07:00Right
07:01Not like this
07:02And then on the way back they switch
07:03But also they release a bull
07:05LAUGHTER
07:07No!
07:08Who's got the fat legs of the bull?
07:10LAUGHTER
07:12No!
07:13The bull's in a wheelbarrow!
07:19Right, how do flying lemurs get around?
07:23So I've got a challenge here
07:24Because I really want to make the klaxons go off
07:26OK, go
07:27But I also know the right answer to this question, I think
07:29Which is British Airways
07:30Oh!
07:31Really?
07:32Very...
07:33LAUGHTER
07:35APPLAUSE
07:37I'm still good!
07:39APPLAUSE
07:41Well done
07:43Why did you say British Airways?
07:44I'm sorry, they are...
07:45They're probably more value flyers
07:47So should I go with Ryanair?
07:48Oh, yeah
07:49LAUGHTER
07:50APPLAUSE
07:51You're collecting them all
07:54I just want to be piled on top of biology
07:58LAUGHTER
07:59First of all, they're not lemurs
08:00Well...
08:01Oh, well then
08:02So flying lemurs are not lemurs
08:03And the second is they can't fly
08:04LAUGHTER
08:05It's been an administrative error then
08:06LAUGHTER
08:07I believe
08:08They're actually just a group of actors with coats on
08:10LAUGHTER
08:11I mean, this is true of all of the flying things
08:16Like the flying fish, the flying squid, the flying snakes, the flying frogs
08:20None of them fly, they glide
08:21No, we get overexcited about it
08:23First of all, lemurs live in Madagascar, right?
08:25The actual lemurs
08:26So-called flying lemurs live in South East Asia
08:28They are more properly called kalugos
08:30And along with the tree shrew
08:33These are the closest living relatives of primates
08:35Which, of course, includes us
08:36These are our close relatives
08:38They can't fly but they can glide
08:39You're absolutely right
08:40I do have a cousin who looks a bit like that
08:42LAUGHTER
08:43Is she just stapled to her duvet?
08:45Is that one of the victims in Seven?
08:51LAUGHTER
08:54How did they kill him?
08:56They stapled him to a duvet and dropped her off a high boarding
08:59He flew for 40 miles!
09:01LAUGHTER
09:02He was dead after 10
09:04LAUGHTER
09:05So kalugos can glide incredible distances through the rainforest
09:08Up to 80 metres, which is over 260 feet without losing altitude
09:12So they're helped by their huge webbed feet
09:14But also, they have these massive flaps of skin called patageum
09:18So, weirdly, called that because of the gold embroidered edge on a Roman tunic
09:23I don't know
09:24OK
09:25The guy who named them on drugs
09:27Yeah
09:28LAUGHTER
09:29This feels like what Batman would actually look like?
09:32Pretty much
09:33Yeah
09:34What's the only mammal that can actually fly?
09:36Bats
09:37Yes, bats is exactly right
09:38But unlike birds, their wings are powered by their back muscles
09:41rather than their breast muscles
09:43And also, resentment from their parents being murdered
09:45Yes, exactly
09:46Yeah
09:47People in Gotham
09:48Yeah, but it's OK because they're really, really rich
09:50Yeah, exactly
09:51Oh, God, will you ever get over it?
09:52No
09:53LAUGHTER
09:54I'm going to fly
09:57LAUGHTER
09:59Luckily, I'll only cover the top half of me
10:01No-one will ever know it's me
10:03Peek-a-boo
10:04LAUGHTER
10:05Me
10:06LAUGHTER
10:08So, when bats fly, it takes so much energy that they also have a pathogen
10:14Oh
10:15Oh, I love
10:16Can I say
10:17I love bats
10:18Is that the one who gave us all Covid?
10:19Yes, that
10:20LAUGHTER
10:21He's smiling for the picture
10:23Look at him
10:24It's not his fault that he's weird
10:25I just bat from Turkey
10:26I just bat from Turkey
10:27LAUGHTER
10:28How do you like him?
10:30I spent a fortune
10:31What do you think?
10:33What do you think?
10:35LAUGHTER
10:36Don't look at my feet
10:37Don't look at my feet
10:38LAUGHTER
10:39So, because it takes so much energy for them to fly
10:41They also have a pathogen
10:42And look how thin it is
10:44It's so thin that oxygen can pass through it
10:46And they can actually use it to breathe
10:48I think it's amazing
10:49Wow, that's cool
10:50Honestly, Aisling, they're fantastic
10:51Bats give birth upside down
10:52And they catch the pups in their wings
10:54Not all of them
10:56LAUGHTER
10:57LAUGHTER
10:58They usually give birth to a single pup
10:59Who immediately clings onto the mother's nearest nipple
11:12Oh!
11:13Yeah, but they stay there
11:14With teeth like that
11:15Yeah
11:16They stay there while she's flying
11:18I know, for about six weeks
11:19And the whole time she's like
11:21LAUGHTER
11:23LAUGHTER
11:25That's why she's shrieking all the time
11:27LAUGHTER
11:28I tried to drop you!
11:30LAUGHTER
11:31Let's have a look at a Kaluga next to it
11:33Oh, you've got a baby!
11:34Yeah, look at the baby!
11:36So, they use their pathogen to carry their young
11:38But they have to unfurl it when they need to poo
11:40So, I'd have to be careful not me as a baby
11:42Oh!
11:43Kaluga poo is so full of worms
11:45It walks across the forest
11:47LAUGHTER
11:48LAUGHTER
11:49Why haven't we seen the children's cartoon of that?
11:52LAUGHTER
11:54We're just a Kaluga poo
11:58Kaluga poo
11:59I mean, come on
12:00LAUGHTER
12:01LAUGHTER
12:02All right, let's fly on to our next question
12:05Why would you want a whale as your wingman?
12:09Could they make lots of relaxing noises
12:12to put you in a chilled-out state?
12:14Ooh!
12:15Ooh!
12:16Ooh!
12:17Whales are...
12:18They...
12:19They...
12:20They...
12:21They get around
12:22Yeah?
12:23Like, they do a lot of doing it
12:24And they even do it with, like, dolphins sometimes
12:26Whoa!
12:27OK, I don't know about them doing it with dolphins
12:29Because...
12:30Just size-wise...
12:31LAUGHTER
12:32So...
12:33OK, I'm just going to warn you now
12:34I'm going to show you some whale porn
12:35Yeah
12:36It's just a thing
12:37Mummy, could you not be here for this bit?
12:39LAUGHTER
12:41So some whales
12:42Grey whales
12:43Right whales
12:44They're made in triads
12:45And basically they have a wingman
12:46That stops the couple's drifting apart
12:48LAUGHTER
12:50So the threesome is just two animals
12:53And one being like
12:54No, no, no, don't back it up
12:56Oh my, oh my, oh my
12:59LAUGHTER
13:00Two minutes left in this one
13:02She just said she was close
13:03LAUGHTER
13:04To the end now
13:05To the end
13:06Stop swimming
13:07You're the...
13:08Back up, back up
13:10Mary, don't check your phone
13:11Get back in there
13:12Come on, come on
13:13Let's turn that down
13:14Let's have a quick look at some whale porn
13:16Yeah, quick look
13:17An hour later
13:18Yeah
13:19LAUGHTER
13:21So there you can see
13:22There are three of them
13:23And the one on the right
13:24Is going down below
13:25Uh-huh
13:26Yep
13:27Little ones who are going to have sex
13:28And basically kind of pushing them together
13:30Which kinds of whales are these?
13:31Big ones
13:32Yes
13:33Very big ones
13:34Yes, very big ones
13:35If you have a look
13:36The two top ones are having sex
13:37I'm just thinking that this is the one they should have called the humpback
13:39Yeah
13:40LAUGHTER
13:41I think so
13:42APPLAUSE
13:43Well, when they're done, the males sometimes switch places
13:49Oh, I bet they do
13:50Yeah
13:51Are you done yet?
13:53LAUGHTER
13:54She can have sex with up to three males in an hour
13:57She's not keen, she just turns her back on them
13:59Nope, not having today
14:00Yeah
14:01But if you think about them, they're about the same as a standard ten-pin bowling lane, right?
14:04Yeah
14:05This is how big they are
14:06I would imagine getting it just right and fitting properly
14:08There are some angles in which you might want some assistance
14:11You know what I mean?
14:12Like, look, my knees aren't what they used to be
14:15LAUGHTER
14:16Did you know what you said about the dolphins?
14:18Yeah
14:19They don't really have sex with the whales
14:20But bottlenose dolphins do gather near mating grey whales
14:23Now...
14:24Perverts
14:25LAUGHTER
14:26People say they don't know why
14:27They are pervs
14:28OK, this is the thing
14:29I know, I'm showing you
14:30Wow
14:31That's quite a penis, isn't it?
14:33Oh, my God!
14:34Yeah
14:35LAUGHTER
14:40We haven't missed that entirely
14:41We're like, look at that little pervert
14:43Wow
14:44Yeah, yeah
14:45I'm sure
14:46Let me
14:47My innocence
14:48Nice
14:49If you look down to the left
14:51That's a dolphin just laughing
14:53Yeah
14:54Jesus Christ
14:56I just...
14:57It's the person who took the photograph
14:58Yeah
14:59It's another dolphin
15:01Yeah
15:02LAUGHTER
15:03Go right up to it
15:04All right
15:05LAUGHTER
15:08Wood-feeding cockroaches have a different kink, if you like
15:12Oh, yeah
15:13So this is...
15:14We're showing you a lot of porn today
15:15This is...
15:16This is to wood-feeding cockroaches at it
15:18And they practise sexual cannibalism
15:20Yum-yum
15:21Well, most animals that would mean, like, a larger female
15:23Maybe spider
15:24Yeah
15:25Eating the male after sex
15:26Yeah
15:27These are really unique
15:28When they've had sex, they eat each other's wings
15:30Just to be like, you're mine now?
15:31Yeah
15:32No-one can ever have you again
15:33You're mine
15:34Is the correct answer
15:35Oh!
15:36Oh!
15:37What?
15:38What?
15:40Oh, my God
15:41I'm so...
15:42So glad that me being so sick in the head is finally paid off
15:46You've got the mind of a cockroach
15:48Yeah, pretty...
15:49Yeah, so this is one without its wings
15:51So basically they start out with little nibbles, like, sort of love kisses
15:54And then by the end the wings are completely reduced to stumps
15:57What happens is the parents can't fly away after mating
16:00And we think that's probably why they do it
16:02And then, weirdly, mate for life because it can't go anywhere
16:04Yeah
16:05I feel like that's quite human, kind of like the bitterness
16:07Is what keeps you together towards the end
16:09Yeah
16:10Yeah
16:11I used to have full wings before you
16:12I could go over I wanted and be my own woman
16:14You had to eat my wings, didn't you?
16:15Yeah
16:16Back to wings now, and specifically the west wings
16:22Good one for our American friends
16:24Here's a plan of the ground floor of the White House
16:26Can you name any of the rooms?
16:29I feel like the oval one is the oval office
16:32Yeah, yeah
16:33But I...
16:34OK
16:41You think, right?
16:42That's the billiard room
16:43Yeah
16:44Exactly
16:45Ballroom, conservatory, secret passage
16:47Mm-hm
16:48Mm-hm
16:49So the one at the front, the oval one, is called the blue room
16:51That's why you made it blue
16:52Oh, I know
16:531837 President Martin Van Buren had it decorated with blue carpet and curtains and nobody ever got over it
16:58It's also known as the large oval room or the elliptic salon
17:01It has never, ever been used as an office
17:04It's a sort of formal reception room
17:06Let's look at the floor above, OK?
17:08So what is this room called?
17:09I suppose it would be the oval office
17:11It's got to be that
17:12No, it's, that's called the yellow oval room
17:18We're really trying to help you
17:19Oh, yeah
17:20I like, I like this, the queen's bedroom
17:22Have we had to change the name of that one?
17:24Which one?
17:25The queen's bedroom
17:26Or is it forever the queen?
17:27So it's for all, many queens
17:29Many queens
17:30Not all royals
17:32Like RuPaul
17:33I was going to say, Ru stays whenever he goes, yeah
17:35If you look at the front of the White House
17:37The sort of the shot that we are quite used to seeing
17:39I always thought that was the Oval Office right there
17:42But it isn't
17:43To the left is the White House's West Wing
17:45And that is where the Oval Office is
17:47Ah
17:48And in fact what happened when Franklin Roosevelt was elected in 1933
17:51He moved his main workspace into what is now known as the Oval Office
17:54And it was actually the West Wing's laundry room
17:57So where all of the decisions take place
18:00Is the old laundry room because it got more sunlight
18:03What I like is that every president has made some small changes to the room
18:07And several have installed secret buzzers
18:09So JFK
18:10Oh
18:11Get a secret buzzer in an ashtray
18:12By his own desk
18:13For actresses to come in
18:14Yeah, yeah, well
18:15Promise president I got your buzzer
18:18Am I here to do some tie pan?
18:20And Johnson probably had a whole separate room for his schlong apparently
18:24Because he's like famously like well endowed
18:27And let everybody know that he just had a giant dog
18:31It is exactly the reason he had a buzzer
18:34Wait, what?
18:39JFK in the middle there, he had one in the ashtray so he could buzz his secretary secretly
18:46And she could come in and say the meeting was over
18:48Linda Johnson was caught cheating in the office by his wife
18:52And so, the buzzer was...
18:53You pressed the wrong buzzer, like not the wife buzzer
18:55Yeah
18:56The buzzer was the other way it was to warn him that she was on the way
18:59the way. So he could roll it back up on to its head.
19:09Quick, Mr. Present.
19:12Calvin Coolidge, just my favorite, he used to press the buzzer and then hide from the
19:19secret surface.
19:21He's literally playing Ding Dong Ditch with his secret. There wasn't a lot going on during
19:28his administration.
19:30The team thought that I should have a buzzer of my own.
19:34What noise does it make?
19:35Well, let's have a look and see what noise it makes.
19:38Do you know what that is?
19:40It's the Danish national anthem.
19:46So, because it's the Danish national anthem, they bring me...
19:49Thank you, Jack.
19:50Please respect our pastries.
19:52They're so tasty.
19:54This is genuine Danish licorice and it's called spunk.
19:59Oh!
20:01Really good.
20:02Would you like some of my spunk?
20:03I don't want it, but I will have it.
20:06I'll have...
20:07Yeah, I'll have...
20:08You want some spunk?
20:09Yeah, I'll have some spunk, Sandy.
20:10Hank, give some spunk to Ashley.
20:11I know that's going to become a meme or something.
20:12Hank, give some spunk to Ashley.
20:13Thank you very much.
20:14Oh, yeah.
20:15I'm not even going to tell you what this tastes like because, you know, it's written on the
20:17tin.
20:18It's really bad.
20:20Yeah, it's truly bad.
20:22It tastes so salty.
20:23It's even worse than black licorice.
20:25You're talking about my national anthem.
20:27I know.
20:28OK.
20:29Do we have like a spittoon or something?
20:31Yeah.
20:32What I've always wanted is to have an audience of people watch as I...
20:38Ashley?
20:39Yes?
20:40A tiny bit of spunk just...
20:41APPLAUSE
20:51Your mum is applauding.
20:52My mum is applauding.
20:53LAUGHTER
20:56Mr. President, please.
21:01Anyway.
21:03It's time to spin the Wheel of Fortune and the sudden death at his general ignorance.
21:06Woo!
21:07Speakers on buzzers, please.
21:08It's the Renaissance.
21:09We are in Venice.
21:10It's what's unusual about the way the ruling classes travelled around, unlike any other
21:15city in Italy.
21:18Ryanair.
21:25I'm going to give you a point for getting away with it.
21:29That's very good.
21:30What do you reckon?
21:31Horses.
21:33No.
21:34E-scooters.
21:36Wheelbarrow, wheelbarrow races.
21:38Oh!
21:43I don't want to say gondolas or boats or any of the things you've got lined up on the thing.
21:47Yeah, well, that's too obvious.
21:48So you would think it's something to do with the water, right?
21:50Yeah.
21:51They walked.
21:52Oh.
21:53Oh.
21:54Well, that's so...
21:56In the 16th century, the patricians in other cities would use horses, for sure.
22:00Oh.
22:01But animal transport almost non-existent in Venice.
22:02I mean, it's very narrow and there's all those bridges, about 400 bridges in total.
22:06And only the very rich could afford a gondola.
22:08Wow.
22:09Which, in any case, you could only take part of the way to your destination.
22:11And on the whole, if you are in Venice, it is quicker, probably, to walk.
22:15And travelling by boat became associated with either decadence or ill health.
22:19So, you were either very rich or dying.
22:22And best if you're both, baby.
22:25And basically, it was just better and quicker for everybody to walk.
22:29Renaissance Venetians didn't like getting a boat by getting a boat.
22:34What kind of birds are African, Chinese and Italian owls?
22:38Owls?
22:39Yeah.
22:40Yeah!
22:41They look like a menu at an airport.
22:46They do.
22:47With, like, degrees of spiciness?
22:49Yeah.
22:50There are all types of fancy pigeon...
22:53Fancy pigeons, which people collected, you were a pigeon fancier,
22:57they came in all sorts of fabulous weird shapes and colours,
23:00and they're named after their main characteristics.
23:03If we show you a few fancy ones, aren't these fabulous?
23:05Ooh!
23:06Oh, no!
23:07Yeah, this is a pigeon gone crazy.
23:08Yes!
23:09This is a pigeon by Victoria Beckham.
23:10Yes!
23:11I like the one on the left.
23:13Yeah, I do.
23:14Yeah, do you?
23:15That's called the Jacobin.
23:17It's named after the large hood that was worn by medieval Jacobin monks.
23:20The one in the middle, very popular in East Anglia, the Holocropper,
23:24probably first bred in the Netherlands.
23:26And the one on the right is the frill back.
23:29With her little box perm!
23:30Oh!
23:31Yeah!
23:32Charles Darwin loved them, kept them for selective breeding.
23:35I saw one of his dead pigeons at the Natural History Museum just the other day.
23:40Don't say we don't have things to show people.
23:42LAUGHTER
23:43Welcome to London!
23:45Francis seen a dead pigeon in a box?
23:48LAUGHTER
23:49Right this way, sir.
23:5159 pounds and 75 pounds for the family.
23:55It was in, like, the Hall of Treasures.
23:57I know.
23:58We also have people made of wax who slightly look like the people are based on.
24:02LAUGHTER
24:03If you go to Ireland, you can see a potato in a spoon.
24:07LAUGHTER
24:08There you go!
24:10APPLAUSE
24:12But don't be fooled because the potato is actually stuck to the spoon!
24:16Yeah!
24:17What was the full title of Charles Darwin's most popular book?
24:22Hmm...
24:23Anybody want to fall into this trap?
24:25Fifty Shades...
24:27LAUGHTER
24:29What is it about the theory of evolution?
24:31So, the one that we all talk about is The Origin of the Species.
24:34Yes, On the Origin of Species and...
24:36And a couple of tales about my crazy life and show business.
24:39LAUGHTER
24:41That sold 4,250 copies.
24:43The big one was...
24:44Oh!
24:45What's in my beard?
24:47LAUGHTER
24:48It was a picture book and you lifted his beard up and there's always something different.
24:51LAUGHTER
24:52It's an order!
24:53I sold 2,000,000 copies one Christmas.
24:55LAUGHTER
24:56What's in my beard?
24:57Oh!
24:58LAUGHTER
24:59This man has good ideas.
25:00Weirdly, I think it would do well.
25:02It would do well.
25:03He sold 6,000 copies of the formation of vegetable mould
25:06through the action of worms with observations on their habits.
25:09Oh!
25:10But I think, in the long run, On the Origin of Species might have done better.
25:14Yeah, probably, but we're talking about initial sales here.
25:17OK.
25:18So, while we're on the subject of best-selling books, I will give 100 points.
25:21Oh!
25:22100 points.
25:23To anyone who can name these authors' most successful works in their lifetime.
25:27Oh, come on.
25:28Oh, no.
25:29So, the first one is Mark Twain.
25:31The Adventures of Tom Sawyer.
25:33Huckleberry Finn.
25:34Huckleberry Finn.
25:35Huckleberry Finn.
25:36Huckleberry Finn.
25:37Huckleberry Finn.
25:38What's in my beard?
25:39What's in my mustache?
25:40LAUGHTER
25:41No, his was The Personal Memoirs of Ulysses S. Grant.
25:42Oh!
25:43Oh!
25:44Let's try HG Wells.
25:45Time Machine.
25:46The Outline of History was his most successful book.
25:47Oh, jeez.
25:48Edgar Allan Poe.
25:49What's in my mustache?
25:50Yes.
25:51My much smaller mustache.
25:52What's in my coma book?
25:53The Telltale Heart, he did.
25:54The Conchologist's first book.
25:55What?
25:56Oh!
25:57Yeah, the most successful book in his life.
25:58What?
25:59Oh!
26:00Oh!
26:01What's in my mustache?
26:02Yes.
26:03My much smaller mustache.
26:04What's in my coma book?
26:05The Telltale Heart, he did.
26:06The Conchologist's first book.
26:07What?
26:08Oh!
26:09Yeah, the most successful book in his life.
26:10Wow!
26:11Now, in the story Aladdin, what does Aladdin rub to release a genie?
26:14Oh, no.
26:15His cock.
26:16OK.
26:17I mean, that would be some interesting spot.
26:19You know, when your kid behaves badly at school, but you're sort of proud.
26:34You know, when your kid behaves badly at school, but you're sort of proud?
26:39You know, it's not the same.
26:42You know, it's not the same thing.
26:43It's not the same thing.
26:44You know when your kid behaves badly at school, but you're sort of proud
26:50So in the earliest recorded version, it's a ring
27:10Be surprised what I can do
27:14His mother does rub a lamp and produces a second genie
27:19How many wishes did they get?
27:21Three wishes
27:22No, no, no, many, many more
27:24Many, many, many
27:25A thousand wishes
27:25Yeah, lots and lots and lots of wishes
27:27Well, then I, you don't even have to wish for more wishes
27:30Yeah, no, there's no need to wish for more wishes
27:31You just keep rubbing
27:32But
27:34The word to the wise, just keep rubbing
27:36Yeah
27:37You're going to get there eventually
27:38Oh, you'll know, you'll know
27:40But after that
27:41As the dolphin said to the whale
27:45Yes
27:46The story first appeared in a french edition of 1001 nights or arabian nights published in 1710
27:52And there's flying carpet
27:54Yeah
27:54No, no, it's from another french edition the flying carpet
27:57So it's people adding their own bits and pieces to the story
28:00The first aladdin didn't have a flying carpet, but he did have a rubber ring
28:04Now let's see who's winged their way to the top and who's under the wheels of the bus
28:11In last place tonight because the wheels totally came off with minus 58 it's alan
28:15Oh
28:18In third place having spent a lot of time winging it with minus 34 it's hank
28:26In second place definitely earned their wings with minus nine it's ashley
28:29And our winner wheelie wheelie good with six hole points
28:37Desiree
28:38And alan and i leave you with this little wing thing the late willie rushton once opened a science wing at his old school
28:56His entire speech was as follows the buggers open
29:00Thank you
29:02Thank you
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