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00:00If you think it's over, because you said goodbye, but if you think it's over, I'll tell you why.
00:20Have you heard the one about the attractive new neighbour you've just accidentally exposed yourself to?
00:34I...
00:35And the ex-wife who's just found out that you told your neighbour she's dead.
00:41Ah, yes, right.
00:43And the ex-wife's friend who you've just asked to pretend to be your wife.
00:47And, of course, her husband.
00:52I can't quite remember the punchline.
00:55You perf.
00:58Concussion, Gordon.
01:09Hi there.
01:11All right?
01:14It's OK.
01:15Mild concussion, the doctor said.
01:16You'll be fine.
01:19What happened?
01:20Well, the guy decked you, didn't he?
01:24Excuse me, I'm a bit confused.
01:27Do I know you?
01:28Of course you know me, Mark.
01:30I'm your friend.
01:32Your very best friend.
01:39Hello, Mark.
01:41Tracy.
01:43How are you feeling?
01:43Who's...
01:44Who's...
01:45Mark?
01:47Where's he gone?
01:49Where's who gone?
01:50There was...
01:52There was a guy.
01:54Now, don't be a silly, Mark.
01:57There's nobody here.
01:58But I was talking to him.
02:00You need to settle down and have a little sleep.
02:03No, Tracy.
02:06Listen, I...
02:07There, look.
02:08Just you calm down and have a lovely rest.
02:12Tracy.
02:13Now, someone's going to have to stay with you overnight.
02:17It's a bit difficult because your aunt's gone and I can't stay.
02:20Tracy, look.
02:21Someone will be here.
02:24Who are you?
02:25Oh, you've had a really horrid knock on your silly old head, haven't you?
02:33Oh, Tracy.
02:34Don't you worry.
02:36Concussion isn't so bad.
02:38You know, Robert proposed to me when he was concussed.
02:42Oh, it was ever so romantic.
02:44And luckily, I had him sign something.
02:49Oh, happy days.
02:50Except he kept calling me Norman.
02:54Tracy, please, listen.
02:56I...
02:57Still, that's all over with now, isn't it?
03:00Oh.
03:01Oh.
03:20Becky?
03:32Becky?
03:32I don't know.
04:02Oh, my God.
04:32Becky?
05:02Dear Mark, someone has to stay, and I'm the only one available.
05:16I'll be back with Trevor in the morning, so don't get excited and don't get any ideas.
05:21Bitch!
05:22Who the hell are you?
05:24Mark, I'm hurt. I mean, hell, we've been intimate.
05:30How long was I out?
05:31Oh, not just now, you brainhead.
05:34Brainhead?
05:35Mark, I've got to be honest with you here. I'm disappointed.
05:38Tracy couldn't see you when you were here before, when I woke up.
05:42I'm gravely disappointed, and I never thought I'd say that.
05:45You kept disappearing.
05:50You're not real, are you?
05:52You were inside my head.
05:54Your head? Yeah, don't be disgusting.
05:57This is bad. This is serious.
05:59Well, what's the problem?
06:00What's the problem? I'm having a conversation with a symptom of concussion.
06:04Now, I'm not medically qualified, but I don't think that's normal.
06:08Concussion? Is that all you think I am?
06:10Now, that really hurts, Mark. I can't pretend it doesn't.
06:12What is happening to me?
06:15A lot of things, Mark.
06:17This is a very confusing time for you, and I'm here to guide you through it all.
06:22Guide me?
06:24I've always guided you, Mark. I've always been there.
06:27Whispering in your ear, advising you.
06:29This is a terrific symptom.
06:30Are you about to tell me you're my guardian angel?
06:32No, no, Mark. I'm you.
06:37Me?
06:38Well, party. I'm the guy in the driving seat.
06:41The one who makes all the big decisions.
06:42Which part?
06:44The one that does all your thinking, Mark.
06:47Just call me Dick.
06:52Oh, yeah, you've always had such a firm grip.
06:57Are you telling me you're... you're... you're my...
07:00Is this all of you?
07:01Size isn't everything.
07:04This is not happening to me.
07:06Okay, now, here's how I see it.
07:08She's fast asleep, and my guess is no night dress.
07:11So, let's go peek.
07:12You're my... my...
07:14Sure.
07:16So, what was all that stuff about guiding me, whispering in my ear?
07:19I thought you were my conscience or something.
07:21What's a conscience?
07:23What was that stuff about making all the big decisions?
07:25I make the big decisions.
07:27Oh, yeah?
07:28Well, who do you think proposed to Becky?
07:30Oh.
07:30Okay, now she's full of sleep.
07:32Let's go.
07:32Come on.
07:32Let's go?
07:33Where?
07:34Oh, never mind.
07:35What are we going to do?
07:36Mark, we've had an arrangement that's worked for many years for both of us.
07:40I do the thinking.
07:41I like hell you do.
07:42Oh, yeah?
07:43Well, then who may I ask is calling the shots around here?
07:45Well, doesn't my brain have something to do with it?
07:47Your brain?
07:48Oh, yeah.
07:48Are you serious?
07:51Do you know nothing about how male physiology works?
07:54Look, your brain starts up, it thinks about women, and wham!
07:57I've got its entire blood supply.
08:00The bright boy never runs for more than about eight seconds.
08:03His brain, I don't know.
08:04Come on, come on.
08:08Something wrong?
08:09Wrong?
08:11Oh, well, let's see.
08:13I'm suffering from concussion, having been hit in the face by virtually everyone I've ever met.
08:16Yes, the woman I love is sleeping next door with piss off written across her forehead.
08:22And I'm being laughed at by my own genitalia.
08:27Yeah, I think I'm on a low point.
08:29And I'm here to help.
08:31Forgive me, but I'm not exactly clear how much help a symptom of concussion can be.
08:35Look, just let me show you something.
08:36Show me what?
08:37Becky.
08:38What for?
08:38Because she's right through there, Mark, in the next room, naked, maybe sweating slightly.
08:45It's all that woman stuff, jiggling around under a shoe.
08:50No, no sudden moves.
08:52I could go off.
08:55Ah, forget it.
08:56I'm going back to bed.
08:57Hey, listen, kiddo.
08:58I'm up and ready for action.
08:59You go to bed now, you're sleeping in a tent.
09:02Now, come on.
09:02What are we going to do exactly?
09:04Just take a look.
09:05That's all.
09:05Where's the harm, huh?
09:06How can I be losing an argument with my own anatomy?
09:15Ooh.
09:16Is this Becky?
09:19You've seen her before, haven't you?
09:21What are you talking about?
09:21You always wear a condom.
09:26Shh.
09:27Hey, she can't hear me, Mark.
09:28Only you can hear me.
09:29Did you see that?
09:41Did you see those legs?
09:43Mark, we've got to do something.
09:48I'm going to bed.
09:49Are you out of your mind?
09:51Completely.
09:52I cannot believe my ears.
09:54If you had ears, I'd have some trouble believing it myself.
09:56You just, you're just going to give up?
09:58Not just give up, no.
10:01I'm also thinking of whimpering pathetically in a corner
10:04until I'm taken away by trained personnel in white coats.
10:07I don't understand when I tell them
10:09that my reproductive organs talk to me at night.
10:14This is sad.
10:15This is deeply, deeply sad.
10:17Isn't it?
10:18Now, unless any other part of my anatomy wants a chat,
10:21thank you and good night.
10:25Brainhead!
10:26Good night.
10:38Shut up!
10:39Shut up!
10:39Becky!
11:00Becky?
11:04Becky!
11:04she doesn't know where she is this is our chance no I'm not doing this what I don't know what I'm
11:16getting into you should worry she'll never talk to me again she'll never know she's asleep she'll
11:23wake up if I start making love to her since when she'd hate me for it she already hates
11:30you mark she's divorcing you why are you thinking about prime ministers oh my god what are they doing
11:48that is sick oh oh god no no mark not her please please mark you mad fool don't let her take them
11:57off mark please I'm melting bastard oh sorry darling bad dream
12:15I just want to know one thing have we had sex well I think you might have noticed since when
12:27you were in the bathroom and you must have sort of forgotten right yeah you sure we didn't do
12:39anything I've got a headache oh right of course look um I'm really sorry about this my mistake
12:47I hope I haven't given you the wrong impression or anything no no because I'm really not interested
12:53in them you know yeah I read the warning all right no entry it says piss off oh you mean my forehead
13:01um anyway I'd better be going right yeah you really didn't try anything I didn't know I'm very
13:15grateful well I'd better um get back must have been a great temptation thanks really it was really
13:26amazing of you to keep in control no problem I mean I'm half naked I noticed in your bed well
13:37yeah lying on top of you quite I mean are you gay or what target in sight sir permission to fire
13:45oh sorry sorry I don't know what's getting into me permission to make a suggestion sir
13:53nothing nothing sorry look um I don't quite know what's happening here neither do I all systems raring to go
14:04bollocks stand in by sir oh the bloody hell
14:19Robert hello Mark how's the concussion it's uh it's fine may I come in
14:44I had concussion once when I first met Tracy so I heard took an awful knock of course by the time
14:57I came round I've been introduced to her parents I'll never know how she managed to carry me there
15:03Becky's still here then she's in the bathroom
15:09is something wrong she's thrown me out it's over I'm sorry Mark could you talk to her me she
15:22listens to you no she doesn't of course she does you could explain maybe when I'm feeling a bit better
15:29no now tonight it's very important wouldn't it be better coming from Becky Becky wouldn't help me
15:35after the things I got up to women don't like it you know all that kinky stuff they don't understand it
15:44and they reject you you're overreacting no Mark you can see rejection written all over their faces
15:53I can't stay I'm really sorry I'm going I have to she was fine till you arrived I'm sorry I was
16:09joking that was about me I'm afraid will you talk to Tracy but there is no point I'm not exactly fit at
16:18the moment and it's three o'clock in the morning for God's sake she'll still be in bed probably in a
16:22very short night dress nothing sorry I'm I think I'm very straight at the moment she's still awake
16:31I've just come from the house we've been yelling at each other all night the neighbors were threatening
16:35to phone the police I see right she was so upset Mark I thought she was gonna have a fit
16:42screaming crying her eyes out dear me bent double nothing sorry I just my mind's wandering please
16:53you've got to help me oh just think about it okay just this is not the time it's three o'clock in the
17:00morning I'm suffering from concussion and Tracy will still be very upset it just doesn't make sense
17:05does it but you might see up a nighty let's go
17:12who's there who is that um trace it's me Robert I told you Robert you're not sitting
17:35foot in this house again no Tracy listen now go away you'll frighten the children oh for God's sake
17:41why would I frighten the children because I told them you've been arrested for sex crimes
17:45you did what I can't believe she did that you had no right to do that yes I did no you didn't yes I
17:51did no you didn't yes I did yes I did you see she's got an answer for everything
17:55I said shut up Robert you can just stop that right now I'm not going to let you in
18:09I'm warning you Robert I don't want to have to get horrid you're being very very brave Robert because
18:18if you don't go away this minute I'm going to do that thing I'm always warning you about
18:22do you remember what I'm always warning you I'm going to do because I'm going to do it now
18:27and it's going to be really really horrid now I'm going to count to three Robert and then I'm going
18:32to do it one two three right
18:37I warned you I gave you fair warning and you know I can be horrid don't you now not a word out of
18:49you or this is going to get a lot worse Chrissy shh there's a policeman coming up
18:56my husband would like to apologize for attacking you like that your husband in the habit of wearing
19:16nail varnish is he oh she yeah thought you were me we've had some complaints about noise since
19:25it's been shouting oh we're ever so sorry won't happen again absolutely not is there a problem oh
19:31no no no not at all all right then just to keep the noise down remember sir we're only over a phone call
19:40I don't want you here listen Tracy what what Robert should be in your bed you're not well
19:57Robert thought I could help oh you big silly didn't mind he's got concussion well I'm here now anyway
20:08um would it help just to talk for a bit well I don't want him in the house Tracy no it's okay
20:16it's fine I'll wait outside well keep away from the letterbox well I don't know oh Mark what am I
20:28going to do I don't know what to do fair maiden prepare yourself for the might of trowel's oh man
20:38feel the power of a blood rush disconnecting brain functions now
20:46no what's wrong you fool you are powerless to resist my will sorry Tracy I'm not very well at the
20:56moment I keep seeing things well one anyway you don't want to know now please Tracy could you just
21:04stay right over there hey we've had her haven't we yeah I remember this one what's wrong Mark didn't
21:11recognize her she's blonde this end Tracy Tracy how long have you and Robert been in trouble
21:21sexually I mean that's a bit of a horrid question when we found Robert at the prostitutes you you said
21:28you never made love anymore Mark how long for a few months since you and me I see well thank God
21:42that's settled let's walk I thought about it long enough I would discover that it was my fault yeah
21:47but who cares right let's get illegal just a moment Tracy I'm going to have to do something rather
21:52unpleasant no Mark no not the entire cabinet now this is going to be rather difficult I've got a
22:01number of post-war British Prime Ministers humping each other in my head at the moment but I think
22:06we ought to try and talk something through here because if you think about it all Robert did was
22:11kind of even up the school with a prostitute I know I know it was wrong and stupid but is it better to
22:20jump into bed with one of his friends he was in a maid's outfit with a blindfold if you please Tracy
22:26he's a big horrid transvestite he was just trying something out don't you ever want to do that Mark
22:32Taylor I have absolutely no intention of dressing up as a woman men have a sort of problem okay it's
22:40like we've got this little man inside our head that's always talking us into doing the wrong things I
22:45don't think that little man's inside the head Mark believe me he gets everywhere well it's no
22:50excuse for being a pervert oh come on Tracy be honest haven't you ever wanted to try something a bit
22:57different a bit kinky no I have not what exactly well I'm not going to tell you it's too horrid
23:07go on go on shock me well I might just you know yeah give it your best shot well when he had the
23:14blindfold on I thought that was quite interesting dear me Tracy wash your mouth out with soap why is
23:25that good you do love him don't you well of course I do you two have been giving each other hell for
23:33long enough I think it's time you kissed and made up don't you maybe kissed and whatever don't be a
23:39silly mark shall I let him in hang on I'll fix my face oh well okay I think you're in the clear
23:52in fact you're so in the clear I'm going to make myself scarce what see you around here here thank
24:00you think of it as a sort of blindfold you could be in for a treat
24:03Robert is that you yes I'll be out in a moment
24:11so partner looks like you're planning on running the show now well I think it's going pretty well
24:24without you well if that's the way it's got to be that's the way it is right good luck oh I guess
24:31I'll be seeing you next time Baywatch is on uh one thing Robert brought you here in his car
24:39oh right so not only don't you have a ride you don't have a lift home here's looking at you kid
24:54Tracy Robert yes darling I'm coming out now Robert are you darling and I'm going to give you a surprise
25:08oh darling does this excite you does what excite me the blindfold oh the blindfold oh yes absolutely
25:21then come to me then come to me my proud stallion right yes okay
25:27oh darling darling darling darling I'm so sorry about everything
25:40darling darling Robert
25:46oh your fingers
25:47there are you like that don't you remember yes yes
25:48oh my goodness
25:49oh my goodness
25:51Robert I'm fine I'm fine I'm fine I just tripped
25:53oh darling
25:55oh where are you oh you're such a tease
25:58over here darling oh my
26:01Robert darling oh oh shall I suck your finger sweetheart
26:07sweetheart. You like that, don't you?
26:10Oh, yes. Yes.
26:24Tracy, Becky, I need to talk to you.
26:28Mark.
26:30Becky. Oh, I'm so embarrassed.
26:33You're just about to make love. Mark?
26:36Mark! Mark?
26:38Uh, um...
26:42Brainhead.
26:49Die in flame
26:51You're free again
26:55Who could love
26:59Do that to you
27:04All dressed in black
27:08Won't be coming back
27:13Just save the tears
27:16Not yes, yes
27:20Oh, if you think it's over
27:24Because you said goodbye
27:29If you think it's over
27:33I'll tell you why
27:35What can you do?
27:39Oh, if you think it's over
27:39Dawn of Chad
27:40You're free again
27:42förä單
27:43To be for ability
27:45If you think it's over
27:45It's over
27:46Why don't you think it's over
27:46Ensemble
27:47You're free again
27:47Which if you think it's over
27:49After all
27:49The page will die
27:50Right
27:50For me
27:50Three
27:51For me
27:51You're free again
27:51Like, you're not
27:52I'm not
27:53equality
27:53Against disse
27:56weaknesses
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