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00:00Come on, Becky.
00:30Oh, Trevor.
00:32Who the hell is Trevor?
00:50You know what's totally unfair?
00:52Men's magazines, they're always on the top shelf.
00:56I mean, this is literature for people with stunted growth.
01:00All those poor guys looking hopelessly up at the porn rack,
01:08remembering when they could still reach that far.
01:11See that far.
01:13Embarrassed out of their minds, palms all matted with sweat.
01:17So, would it hurt just to put them in reach?
01:23But then again, thinking about it, it balances out.
01:26You may be stunting your growth,
01:28but you've got this terrific right arm.
01:39How can people buy them?
01:41I mean, in front of everyone.
01:43It's not just that you're publicly admitting what you're going to do.
01:54You're telling everyone you're going to need some reminders first.
01:57You're making a public statement that you are going without.
02:07And you have been for a tragically long time.
02:10And you're getting pathetically desperate.
02:20By the way, my wife left me.
02:23This is how I met her again for the first time in two months.
02:27Mark?
02:28Becky!
02:29Hi.
02:30Hi.
02:31I was just, um, passing.
02:32I saw your car.
02:33Right.
02:34I was just in here buying a newspaper, that's all.
02:36Well, it is a newsagents, Mark.
02:37Well, that proves it.
02:38So, um, this isn't your neck of the woods?
02:40No, I was just passing.
02:41I was at Rogers.
02:42Oh, right, right.
02:43Are you okay?
02:44I'm fine.
02:45I was only buying a newspaper, see?
02:46So, er, what have you done with your right arm?
02:47I haven't been doing anything with it.
02:48Get off my arm!
02:49Excuse me, I don't know what I was thinking of.
02:50Why do you ask?
02:51Well, just the way you're holding yourself.
02:52What?
02:53I've got confused again.
02:54Right.
02:55Right.
02:56I've got a lot of questions, Mark.
02:57Well, that proves it.
02:58So, erm, this isn't your neck of the woods.
02:59No, I was just passing.
03:00I was at Rogers.
03:01Oh, right, right.
03:02Are you okay?
03:03I'm fine.
03:04I'm fine.
03:05I'm fine.
03:06I'm fine.
03:07I'm fine.
03:08I'm fine.
03:09I'm fine.
03:10I'm fine.
03:11I'm fine.
03:12I'm fine.
03:13Confused again.
03:14Right.
03:15Yes.
03:16Well, erm, anyway, I've been meaning to get in touch.
03:20Yes, sure.
03:21Obviously, we've got some stuff still to sort out, you know.
03:25Yes.
03:26Lawyers, and so on.
03:28Yes.
03:29I'd have been in touch myself, but obviously I don't know where you live now.
03:32Please, Mark, let's not start this again.
03:35Or even your phone number.
03:36Let's not have this argument here.
03:38Makes getting in touch a bit tricky, obviously.
03:40Why does it matter that you know where I live?
03:42Why does it matter that I don't?
03:43Excuse me.
03:44Do you mind?
03:45Hello.
03:46Aw.
03:47What's your name?
03:49Well, don't you know?
03:51Why don't you go and ask your mother?
03:53As fond of children as ever, I see.
03:56What have I ever had against children?
03:57Well, you did call them an appalling alternative to contraception.
04:01I was joking.
04:02And the darker side of sex?
04:04Well, look at it from a man's point of view.
04:05I mean, you think you've suddenly found the one thing in your life that's a source of unalloyed pleasure,
04:10and a person climbs out.
04:12Here we go.
04:13Talk about killing the mood.
04:14I mean, you'd never have sex again, not without checking first with a torch.
04:17No danger in our case.
04:18Someone has to climb in first.
04:20That?
04:21Oh, you remember.
04:22And not fair.
04:23Well, you should have married a blonde.
04:25Oh, I see what you mean.
04:27Don't you miss this?
04:28It's fun to visit, but I wouldn't want to live here.
04:32Hey!
04:33Mark!
04:34I'm scared, Mark.
04:36Are you all right?
04:38Mum!
04:40Mark!
04:41What is the matter with you?
04:43Nothing.
04:44Mum, look!
04:45Becky!
04:46Tracy!
04:47Didn't I tell you to wait?
04:48Oh, sorry.
04:50Hello, Mark.
04:51Mum, look!
04:53Tracy!
04:54Hi.
04:55We, um...
04:56It's on my car, yes.
04:57I know.
04:58We were just visiting Becky.
05:00It's been ever so long.
05:03Not since that awful night.
05:05Yes.
05:06Right.
05:07So, how have you been?
05:09Oh, fine.
05:10I'm great.
05:11And are you two all lovely and friends now?
05:14Well, erm...
05:16And what's that you're reading, young man?
05:22Naughty boys who look at pictures like that can end up getting a smacking.
05:29Isn't that right, Robert?
05:31Yes.
05:32She's very strict.
05:34Where did you get it?
05:36Donald?
05:37Mum?
05:38He was reading this, I'm afraid.
05:40Where did you get this?
05:42Where did you get this disgusting thing?
05:44A man gave it to me.
05:46Oh!
05:47That's terrible.
05:48What man?
05:49Point him out, Ronald.
05:50Show us the man.
05:51Look, he stole it from me, okay?
05:53He just ran off with it.
05:55You pervert.
05:57Right.
05:58You come here.
06:00It isn't what you think.
06:02We understand, Mark.
06:03No!
06:04You see...
06:05See, I read an article for this, actually.
06:06That's the only reason I was buying it.
06:07I just wanted to see how it turned out, that's all.
06:09Right.
06:10I see.
06:11Of course.
06:12An article.
06:13Yes.
06:14That's good.
06:15Can I read it?
06:16Ah, Tracy.
06:17I know you wrote articles.
06:18Show me it.
06:19Well, um, Trace.
06:20There doesn't seem to be much writing, Mark.
06:23Well, no.
06:24Oh, there.
06:25I read that bit.
06:26She comes from Colchester and likes men with small bottoms.
06:32It's mostly photographs, Mark.
06:34Well, yes.
06:35Robert.
06:36I think they can trim it a bit.
06:39Well, it is a close-up.
06:41I'm referring to the text, in fact, Tracy.
06:43Well, um, I'd better be going.
06:45I'll see you all later.
06:46It's a bit sad, Mark.
06:48Going home?
06:49Which must be quite close, yes?
06:51Gotcha!
06:52Why don't you just buy yourself another dirty book?
06:54As a matter of fact, I didn't buy any dirty book
06:56because I'm not remotely interested in dirty books.
06:58Excuse me, sir.
06:59I'll leave you some items you haven't paid for.
07:01Pardon?
07:02I'm missing one of the people, sir.
07:04Oh, I forgot about that.
07:06It's...
07:07Indeed, sir.
07:08Mark!
07:09I see, Ronald.
07:10Do you want to end up like him?
07:11No, I'm sorry.
07:12But I'm not going to let that pass.
07:13Mark is not a pervert.
07:14He's a professional.
07:15He does a bit more than just read magazines like that, you know.
07:17He writes them.
07:18He writes them.
07:19LAUGHTER
07:20LAUGHTER
07:21LAUGHTER
07:22LAUGHTER
07:51Mark?
07:52We just thought we'd wait and check you're OK.
07:53Oh, thanks.
07:54If you're in any trouble, we know a good lawyer, don't we, Robert?
07:55Isn't he a prosecutor?
07:56Well, Mark will need to be prosecuted.
07:57LAUGHTER
07:58Which is Becky's house?
07:59What?
08:00You were visiting her, right?
08:01So she lives somewhere near here.
08:04Going by where your car is parked, probably very near.
08:06LAUGHTER
08:07Never mind that.
08:11Are you in any sort of trouble with that lot?
08:12Well, they knew perfectly well I didn't mean to take anything.
08:13They were watching on the cameras.
08:14They just wanted to meet me.
08:15They're keeping the take for the staff Christmas lunch.
08:17Going by where your car is parked, probably very near.
08:22Never mind that.
08:23Are you in any sort of trouble with that lot?
08:25They knew perfectly well. I didn't mean to take anything.
08:28They were watching on the cameras.
08:30They just wanted to meet me.
08:33They're keeping the tape for the staff Christmas lunch.
08:36They were all invited.
08:38And they made you buy the magazines?
08:41No, the manager insisted on a sort of presentation.
08:44Look, I just want to know, which is Becky's house?
08:49Is that too much to ask?
08:51Well?
08:52Becky said not to tell.
08:55So?
08:56She's our friend, Mark.
08:58And I'm not your friend?
09:00Look, obviously this is a bit awkward.
09:02It's not awkward at all. I'm the one who got dumped on, remember?
09:05And Becky was the one who did the dumping, so whose side are you on?
09:09Please, Mark.
09:11She's gone.
09:12She's gone. She's with Trevor now.
09:16Can't you just be happy with your magazines?
09:20Help me to know which house.
09:23Tell me, please.
09:25No, Mark.
09:27Absolutely not.
09:29You just have to learn to accept that she's gone,
09:32and she's never coming back.
09:33This is her home now.
09:40Oh!
09:41Look, what is the point?
09:42This is stupid.
09:43Becky was everything to me for six years of my life,
09:46and suddenly I don't even know her address.
09:48Don't you understand how that feels?
09:50I used to know everything about her.
09:52That's silly, Mark.
09:54Absolutely.
09:55You didn't know she was having an affair with Trevor.
10:02She's not there.
10:03She's gone to the office.
10:05I'll say hi to Trev.
10:09We can exchange foreplay tips.
10:12I think he went with her.
10:15Mark, please.
10:16Let's go.
10:17Then give me the key.
10:20What key?
10:21You have the key to Becky's flat?
10:23To my flat when we lived there?
10:25Don't try to tell me she didn't give you this one, too.
10:28I just want to see how my furniture is settling in.
10:31Now, that's enough, Mark.
10:32Just calm down.
10:33Jesus!
10:34Now, listen.
10:36Oh!
10:44Oh!
10:44Oh!
10:44Oh, please!
10:55No!
10:56Matt!
10:57Matt!
11:06It's a party, boys!
11:08It's a party, boys!
11:09It's a party, boys!
11:12It's a party, boys!
11:13Oh!
11:21I can't kill you!
11:23You don't slip that hill!
11:25And it's not for you.
11:26That's for mature people with a proper dip on themselves!
11:37Oh!
11:38Oh!
11:39Oh!
11:40Look, I'm warning you, love, my husband likes to spank, fool boy.
14:13That's all of them.
14:14Most of them.
14:30Oh, good.
14:32Good.
14:34Trevor, this is sick.
14:49I know.
15:04Mark?
15:27Mark?
15:32Oh, oh, oh, oh, Becky.
15:43Oh, Trevor.
15:46What were you going to say there, when you went, mm?
15:51I was just, um, mm.
15:54No, you weren't.
15:56You were going to say Mark.
15:57Yes!
16:08Look, what's this?
16:10What have you written now?
16:12It's Becky and Trevor.
16:13Yes, and I've got...
16:14I didn't know that could happen.
16:15I didn't know you could be picked up by your television.
16:19You see, Robert, that's why you have to unplug them at night.
16:25No, Trace, listen.
16:26What is it?
16:27Our street.
16:28They've all got satellite dishes.
16:29No, listen.
16:30Turn over.
16:31What?
16:32I want to see if we're on.
16:33Oh, Tracey, you are not this stupid.
16:35It's a video they took of themselves with a camera, understood?
16:36Oh, yes.
16:37Being a silly.
16:38Now, watch it, watch it.
16:39This is where it happens.
16:40Oh, Becky.
16:41Oh, Mark Trevor.
16:42Oh, you see, isn't that great?
16:44She was going to say Mark.
16:45No, no, no.
16:46No, no, no.
16:47No, no, no.
16:48No, no, no.
16:49No, no, no.
16:50No, no, no.
16:51No, no, no.
16:52No, no, no.
16:53No, no, no.
16:54No, no, no.
16:55No, no, no.
16:56No, no, no.
16:57No, no, no.
16:58No, no, no.
16:59No, no, no.
17:00No, no, no.
17:01She was going to say Mark.
17:05So?
17:06Oh, she was thinking of me.
17:12What are you doing?
17:14I'm going to see what else she says about me.
17:17Oh, Mark.
17:19Tracey, let me handle this.
17:29Mark.
17:30It's perfectly normal for women to call out other men's names while making love.
17:37It happens all the time.
17:40Philip, Jeff, Tom, Graham, David.
17:47Mark's very common.
17:49Because it's in the Bible.
17:53It's just like shouting God or Jesus.
18:03Actually, Trace, you explain this better.
18:04No, you're doing fine.
18:06It's Becky.
18:07I know it is.
18:08Mark!
18:09I want to hear this bit.
18:10But Becky's coming.
18:11No way.
18:12She's faking it.
18:13No way.
18:14No way.
18:15No way.
18:16No way.
18:17No way.
18:18No way.
18:19It's Becky.
18:20I know it is.
18:21Mark!
18:22I want to hear this bit.
18:23It's Becky. I know it is. Mark! I want to hear this bit. But Becky's coming. No way. She's faking it.
18:45Oh, that's nice. In fact, I missed you so much, I think you should nip straight upstairs.
18:51Is that all you ever think about?
18:56Trevor and Becky are coming up the stairs right now!
18:59Oh, Jesus! Pontius Pilate!
19:02We can't find Mark here! Under the bed, quickly!
19:07Get the video off!
19:11Tracy!
19:12What are you doing here?
19:13Well, give me a moment.
19:17Where's the remote?
19:18I dropped it somewhere!
19:21You see, Robert came over all poorly and, um, I hope you don't mind.
19:27I just thought he needed a little lie down before we went to home.
19:31And, um, I had your key.
19:35Sure, yeah, fine.
19:36Well, is he alright?
19:38Hang on!
19:40Robert!
19:41Robert!
19:42Robert!
19:47Robert!
19:48Stop that at once!
19:51Trevor and Becky are here!
19:53Oh, Becky, baby! Yeah, yeah!
19:58Stop it now! I mean it!
20:00Now, make yourself decent and get out here!
20:09Come on!
20:17Don't forget your magazines!
20:19Right!
20:20Feeling better now!
20:21Okay!
20:22Off we go!
20:23Thanks for the use of your bedroom!
20:25I don't believe it!
20:26I just do not believe it!
20:27Did you hear him?
20:28I mean, what did he sound like?
20:29You!
20:30What?
20:31What?
20:32Oh!
20:33We must have left one of the tapes in the machine!
20:34Oh, my God!
20:35What's so funny?
20:37I'm a complete idiot!
20:38I'm a complete idiot!
20:40I'm a complete idiot!
20:42How about the machine?
20:43God!
20:44You!
20:45You're a complete idiot!
20:47I'm a complete idiot!
20:50Oh!
20:51What?
20:52What?
20:54I don't believe it!
20:55I just do not believe it!
20:57Did you hear him?
20:58I mean, what did he sound like?
20:59You!
21:00What?
21:01We must have left one of the tapes in the machine!
21:02Oh, my God!
21:04What's so funny?
21:05I've got to get Mark out of there.
21:14Oh, look. Matthew, Mark and John.
21:18No, look.
21:23Never mind that. What about Mark?
21:27I just don't see what's so funny, that's all.
21:29Oh, surprise me.
21:31I mean, they've got no right.
21:33Trevor, think about it. He's lying here, not feeling well.
21:36He decides to switch on the telly and discovers we're careless with our tapes.
21:41Yeah, I know, but...
21:42So what?
21:44You've shown them what a terrific lover you are.
21:47How do you feel about showing me?
21:51You still in the mood?
21:53I'm a low and wicked woman.
22:03Get that door's open.
22:06They're probably in the garden.
22:08Look.
22:10So?
22:11Well, that's where he is.
22:16But no, Trace, listen!
22:18Come on!
22:18We're in the garden. We can get it out through the house.
22:21Are you coming to join me, or what?
22:40Oh, is that good?
22:44Oh, you like that, don't you, huh?
22:47Yeah, do it tonight.
22:48Oh, that's good.
22:49Come on. Come on. Come on.
22:53Oh.
22:54Oh.
22:55Did Mark ever do it like that?
22:56Oh, I don't think Mark knew it like that.
22:58Oh, yeah.
23:01Oh, that's great.
23:02Oh, yeah, this way.
23:04This way. Yeah, mind your head. Mind your head. Mind your head.
23:06Mind my head.
23:07Oh, yeah.
23:08Careful, careful, careful.
23:09Hold it, hold it, hold it.
23:10Yeah.
23:11Oh, yeah.
23:17Well, what?
23:26Oh...
23:26Oh.
23:29Yeah, yeah, yeah.
23:32Oh, see...
23:38Oh, God.
23:40Oh, yeah!
23:42Oh, baby, baby!
23:44Yeah!
23:46Oh!
23:48Oh, no, no!
23:50Oh, yeah!
23:52Oh, oh, oh!
23:54Oh, oh, oh!
23:56Oh, God!
23:58Oh, no!
24:00Oh, jeez!
24:02Oh, God!
24:04Oh, God!
24:06Oh, God!
24:08One and a half weeks or what?
24:10Oh!
24:12Oh, baby, baby!
24:14Yeah, yeah!
24:16Oh, yeah!
24:18Oh, oh!
24:20Oh, oh!
24:22Oh, oh!
24:24Oh, darling!
24:26Oh, yeah!
24:28Oh, baby!
24:30Oh, baby!
24:32Oh, yeah!
24:34Oh, it's so cute!
24:36Oh, no, no!
24:46Oh, oh!
24:48Oh, oh!
24:50Oh, oh!
24:52Oh, yeah!
24:54Oh, oh!
24:56Oh, oh!
24:58I'm not hurt, you know what?
25:00Oh! Oh! Oh, Becky!
25:02Oh, Ma! Oh, Becky!
25:04Oh, Ma!
25:06Oh, Ma! Oh, Ma!
25:08Oh, Michael!
25:10Who is Michael?
25:18Dying flame
25:22You're free again
25:24Who could love
25:28Do that to you
25:32All dressed in black
25:36Won't be coming back
25:40Just save the tears
25:44Not yes and yes
25:48Fool if you think it's over
25:52If you think it's over
25:56Because you said goodbye
25:58If you think it's over
26:02I'll tell you why
26:04I'll tell you why
26:06I'll tell you why
26:08If you think it's over
26:10I'll tell you why
26:12You're free again
26:14You're free again
26:16You're free again
26:18I'll tell you why
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