- 4 months ago
Taskmaster S20E03 >>> https://dai.ly/x9r6l2u
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00:00Oh
00:02No
00:18Nothing's ever straight forward in this stupid house
00:30Hello! Thank you! Thank you!
00:36Welcome to Taskmaster, the great leveller.
00:40Comedians come with their plaudits on their impressive careers and achievements
00:44and soon realise that in this arena, they're just people.
00:47Simply humans taking on life's challenges.
00:50Which throws up the question I get asked in the street all the time.
00:54Will we, the members of the public, ever get to be on the show?
00:57No, not on my watch.
01:00Why?
01:01I simply don't want you on it.
01:04Ever.
01:05Leave it!
01:07Line drawn. Let's move on.
01:09Let's meet the people who deserve to be here.
01:12They are...
01:13Anya Magliano!
01:15CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:16Maisie Anna!
01:18Phil Ellis!
01:20Ruth Shearsmith!
01:22And Sanji Bhaskar!
01:25And next to me, a lover, a fighter, a bit of a biter.
01:30He's got a wonky tooth and his hair's got much whiter.
01:34He's a little at all!
01:36CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:38What are we chatting about?
01:40I've got my first Swiss arm.
01:47This guy can do anything.
01:48You want your phone charged?
01:49You get it.
01:50Ooh!
01:51Would you like to measure a circumference?
01:54OK, then.
01:56Is it retractable?
01:58Sort...sort of.
01:59Oh, you've got some noodles?
02:01I've got some chopsticks.
02:03There's still some noodles in your teeth.
02:05It's OK.
02:06I've got floss.
02:07LAUGHTER
02:09Would you like everything to be a bit more mysterious?
02:11Yes, please.
02:12Ooh!
02:13Ooh!
02:16Wow!
02:17And those are all the functions.
02:19And so on we march.
02:22What's the prize task category, please?
02:24Well, this one could take a while, Greg,
02:26because they've each brought in the object that is hardest to describe.
02:31Ooh!
02:32The most indescribable wins five points,
02:34and all five objects will go home with the episode winner,
02:37who will then struggle to describe them to whoever they live with.
02:40If they do live with other people,
02:41I haven't asked them about that sort of thing yet.
02:44All right, then.
02:45Phil, what's your indescribable object?
02:47Er, I've brought in the, er, the Treaty of Versailles.
02:51LAUGHTER
02:52Here it is.
02:53The actual one?
02:54Yeah, yeah.
02:55I pulled a few strings.
02:57LAUGHTER
02:58Do you know anything about the Treaty of Versailles?
03:00Well, it's just bringing Versailles together, wasn't it?
03:02You know, like,
03:03come on, guys.
03:04Come on, Versailles.
03:05We all want a holiday here.
03:06Yeah.
03:07Let's put our differences aside,
03:09reopen the water park,
03:11and let's have a lovely bank holiday Monday.
03:14Are you saying that you can't describe the Treaty of Versailles
03:17because you don't know what it's about?
03:18Yeah.
03:19Yeah, pretty much.
03:21Anya,
03:22have you got something that's impossible to describe?
03:24I think you should just show it,
03:25and you tell me if you can describe it.
03:27Ooh!
03:28Power move.
03:29OK, Greg, try to describe this.
03:31OK.
03:33A box of shit?
03:38No, it's got other stuff in it.
03:41A lightbulb.
03:42Yeah, but you don't know what lamp it's from.
03:47Yeah, she's got me.
03:48Yeah.
03:49I think you're impressed, but you're trying to fight it.
03:52What would be my motivation for fighting it?
03:56Childhood.
04:02She's right, isn't she, Mum?
04:06Maisie?
04:07Yeah, I brought in being in the womb.
04:09LAUGHTER
04:10We've all been there, but can any of us describe it?
04:14Mm.
04:15Can you remember it?
04:16I can't.
04:17Can you describe what it was like when we were there?
04:18I can't.
04:19We weren't in it together, but, like...
04:21LAUGHTER
04:22But, yeah, being in the womb.
04:23So, here is the womb.
04:24Yeah, it is.
04:25LAUGHTER
04:26It's really good.
04:27It's the only prize I want to win.
04:30LAUGHTER
04:31Sanjee, can you do better or worse?
04:33Oh, worse.
04:34Let's go.
04:35Just have a look at it, yeah.
04:36Oh.
04:37I mean...
04:38Is it an electronic game?
04:39Go for it.
04:40Well, it's a fidget toy, isn't it?
04:41Yeah.
04:42But that's what it is.
04:43That's not a description of it.
04:44No.
04:45Oh, that's very much a description of it.
04:46No, it isn't.
04:47It's like saying there's a man outside.
04:49Yeah.
04:50Does that describe him?
04:51No.
04:52LAUGHTER
04:53OK, he's right.
04:54It's a handheld tool for focus and relief.
04:57LAUGHTER
05:00What did I tell you about deleting your internet history?
05:02LAUGHTER
05:04Race.
05:05I have brought in an item from my Cabinet of Curiosities.
05:09Here is his item.
05:11LAUGHTER
05:13Oh, God.
05:14I absolutely hate it.
05:16LAUGHTER
05:17I'll let you into a secret.
05:18I made it.
05:19Get out of town.
05:21LAUGHTER
05:22What is the head?
05:23It was an owl.
05:25LAUGHTER
05:27LAUGHTER
05:28I took the face off.
05:30I absolutely hate it.
05:35LAUGHTER
05:36OK, we've seen all five.
05:37OK.
05:38Which is the easiest to describe, Craig?
05:39The easiest is the well-known Treaty of Messiah.
05:43LAUGHTER
05:45The Treaty of Messiah.
05:46I was, erm, tossing up between the box of rubbish
05:51and the fidget game, and I've decided to give fidget game
05:55two points because it is recognisable as a kind of game.
05:58OK.
05:59Whereas this is just boxes of weird stuff that's not connected,
06:01so it's a little harder to describe three points.
06:03OK.
06:04Womb or thing?
06:05Womb or thing?
06:06LAUGHTER
06:07I think probably I'll have to give thing four points,
06:09because there are things I recognise about the thing,
06:12but I've got no concept of being in the womb,
06:14so I must give that five points.
06:15Very good.
06:16Wow.
06:17APPLAUSE
06:18Let's get a hold of the task properly.
06:21Right away.
06:22And we begin with a quick sense check,
06:25followed by some segregation.
06:27Here we go.
06:28Good luck.
06:44Ooh.
06:45Hello.
06:46Hi.
06:47Who's that?
06:48It's Maisie.
06:49Oh.
06:50Who are you?
06:51Anya.
06:52Should I do something?
06:53You should open the task.
06:55Oh, God, right.
06:57OK.
06:58Sorry.
06:59This is quite sexy, isn't it?
07:01I feel like I should be putting a coin in a slot
07:03and I get to see you for, like, 30 seconds,
07:05whilst you dance.
07:08Right, I'll crack on with it.
07:11Identify Alex's five things.
07:14You may only use one sense.
07:16If you choose hearing, you get five points per item.
07:20Smell, four points.
07:22Taste, three points.
07:23Touch, two points.
07:25Sight, one point.
07:27Oh.
07:29Highest total score wins.
07:30You have a maximum of ten minutes.
07:32Your time starts as soon as you have decided which sense you will be using.
07:35And I'm looking for an adjective and a noun.
07:38An adjective?
07:39I would like you to tell me which sense you're going to be using.
07:41Oh.
07:42And I'm going to go for hearing.
07:44Do you know what the hell?
07:45Go for hearing.
07:46Oh, yeah.
07:47Yeah.
07:48Go out in a blaze of glory.
07:49I'm going to go smell.
07:50On the board between us.
07:52Uh-huh.
07:53There's a tiny little triangle shape, nose-ish.
07:56Am I going to have to put my nose in the hole?
07:58You're going to have to put your nose in the hole.
07:59Was I going to have to put my tongue in the hole?
08:01You were going to have to put your tongue in the hole.
08:02OK, I think I've made a good decision.
08:04I'm going to go right down the middle.
08:05I'm going to go taste.
08:06I'm going to taste it.
08:07Sure.
08:08I'm going to go taste all the way down.
08:10So, what I need you to do is put the blindfold on,
08:12the nose clip and the ear defenders.
08:14Oh, flippin' it.
08:15That's it.
08:16Eye mask is on.
08:18OK, it's on.
08:19Eye mask is on.
08:20Nose clip on.
08:21Well, what do you think?
08:23APPLAUSE
08:25All these series and at last we finally have
08:28a facial glory hole on the show.
08:31Sanjeev, you chose hearing.
08:33Yeah, I did.
08:34And said, because I intend to go out in a blaze of glory.
08:36Absolutely.
08:37I sense you couldn't care less.
08:40Marvellous.
08:41Who are we seeing first?
08:42Well, we're going to see one lone identifier to begin with,
08:45using only her sense of smell.
08:47It is Anya's Magliano's.
08:54Ah!
08:55Please put your nose through the nose hole.
08:57Coming through.
08:59Sniff.
09:01Oh, this is really hard.
09:06I'm going to say,
09:07fashionable watch.
09:09Fashionable watch.
09:10Yes.
09:11Item number two.
09:12Yes, please.
09:14Tiny cow.
09:16Tiny cow.
09:18Next item.
09:19It's got hay or something.
09:20It kind of smells like the London Dungeons.
09:23I'm just going to turn it the other way up.
09:24OK.
09:26Sniff.
09:27Oh, less of a smell on that side.
09:29Can I have the first side again, please?
09:32Oh, God.
09:33This is really frustrating.
09:35You've only got two and a half minutes.
09:36OK.
09:37I'm going to go scarecrow.
09:39OK.
09:40Is that your full answer?
09:41No.
09:42Scrigledy scarecrow.
09:44Scrigledy, is it?
09:45Item four.
09:46Sniff.
09:47Coffee.
09:48Something smells a bit like coffee.
09:49OK.
09:50Cold coffee.
09:51Why do you think it's cold?
09:52Because it smells cold.
09:54Can I have the last item, please?
09:56Here it comes.
09:57Ooh, that smells nice.
09:59It smells like yoghurt.
10:00Coconut-y yoghurt.
10:02Coconut-y yoghurt.
10:03Yeah.
10:04That's the end, Anya.
10:05Well done and goodbye.
10:06OK.
10:07See you one day.
10:08See you one day.
10:13Interestingly, away from the context of your face,
10:16your nose looks prosthetic, I think.
10:18It looks like a sort of lone soldier going over into the battlefield.
10:22I can't handle this.
10:23I'll go over the top myself.
10:24Yeah.
10:25Stay there, face.
10:26Yeah.
10:27What did she say tiny cow to?
10:29The wet teeth you thought was a tiny cow.
10:31Wet teeth?
10:32Wet teeth, yes.
10:33They were wet teeth.
10:34It is disgusting.
10:35They were real wet teeth.
10:37But cows are made of milk.
10:39No, cows have milk in them.
10:42And teeth.
10:43Teeth of calcium in them.
10:44So that's what I was probably picking up on.
10:46Yeah.
10:47Yeah, yeah, yeah.
10:48You've got the calcium coming through your nose.
10:50Anyway, the yoghurt.
10:51She got some points at last.
10:52Yeah.
10:53She chose smell, so it's four points per correct item.
10:56She got the yoghurt.
10:57She said coconut yoghurt.
10:58It wasn't coconut.
10:59It was a plain grey yoghurt.
11:00But we'll give her the four for saying yoghurt.
11:01You want to give four?
11:02Oh, God.
11:03Even though it was coconut yoghurt?
11:05Look, mate, we're sticking hair on staplers.
11:07We'll give them...
11:08Next.
11:09Yes, please.
11:10It's Maisie and Rhys, who both have great taste.
11:13Or do they?
11:14I'm just going to create a little hole for your mouth.
11:18Excellent.
11:19Ooh.
11:20That's my finger.
11:21That's your finger.
11:22That's where your mouth is going to go.
11:24OK, I'm ready.
11:25Right.
11:26I would love to see your mouth.
11:27There it is.
11:28Can I nail?
11:29You do whatever you're comfortable with.
11:30Go.
11:31Are you ready for item number one?
11:32Yes.
11:33Have a taste of this.
11:34Pop it in the mouth?
11:35In your mouth.
11:36I need to get a good grip on its texture.
11:37OK, here it comes.
11:38I'm trying to make it...
11:40There we go.
11:41That's a frozen flannel.
11:42Frozen flannel.
11:43Yeah.
11:44You spend four and a half minutes on item number one.
11:45Right, go on.
11:46Move on.
11:47OK.
11:48Frozen...
11:49I would ask you to not consume this.
11:50Ready?
11:51Uh-huh.
11:52I don't, er...
11:53I don't think they're not teeth, are they?
11:54Do you want me to write down human teeth?
11:55No.
11:56I can't write down teeth.
11:57Er...
11:58It feels good.
11:59No.
12:00No.
12:01No.
12:02No.
12:03No.
12:04No.
12:05No.
12:06No.
12:07No.
12:08No.
12:09No.
12:10No.
12:11No.
12:12No.
12:13No.
12:14No.
12:15No.
12:16No.
12:17No.
12:18No.
12:19No.
12:20No.
12:21No.
12:22It feels like they are little plastic beads.
12:23Like, plastic beads and I've crossed out human teeth.
12:25Yeah.
12:26Wet beads.
12:27Wet beads.
12:28Yeah.
12:29Item number three.
12:31Could you put it in the aisle?
12:34Mmm, I suppose so.
12:37Come on!
12:38Would you like the other way up?
12:43No.
12:44I don't want to do that again.
12:45It's like putting my tongue into a...
12:48A fairy hole.
12:50It's a stack of scissors.
12:51A lovely pair of scissors.
12:53You think we'd let you lick scissors, do you?
12:55No.
12:56A furry key ring.
12:57A hairy coat.
12:58Lovely.
13:00Good boy.
13:04Is it jam?
13:05What's the word when jam has got bits in it?
13:08Bitty jam.
13:10Caramelised sugar.
13:12Caramelised sugar.
13:13Yeah.
13:14One more item.
13:15Yeah?
13:16I need your mouth.
13:17Yeah.
13:20Is that the hole?
13:21If you want.
13:23Ready?
13:31Here it comes.
13:32There we go.
13:42Oh, I know that.
13:43Oh, it's on the tip of my tongue.
13:45Right.
13:46What is it?
13:48I'm going to say a spoonful of yoghurt.
13:50Yoghurt.
13:51It's yoghurt.
13:52It's yoghurt.
13:53I need an adjective.
13:54It's, erm...
13:55Strawberry yoghurt.
13:56Plain.
13:57It is a strawberry yoghurt.
13:59Greek.
14:00You can take everything off now.
14:01You may not look this size.
14:02Yeah.
14:03I mean, there are so many disturbing images.
14:04Your mouth coming through my nose, eating yoghurt.
14:05Absolutely one of the most horrific things I've ever seen.
14:06There's all sorts of half marks there, I think.
14:07Yeah.
14:08Frozen flannel, frozen cloth.
14:09How many points?
14:10Well, one and a half points each.
14:11One and a half points each.
14:12Yeah.
14:13One and a half points each.
14:14Yeah.
14:15One and a half points each.
14:16Yeah.
14:17We've got wet beads or plastic beads.
14:18Or human teeth.
14:19Formally human teeth.
14:20It is extraordinary for him to have got teeth, so I have to give him something.
14:23We're going one and a half, one and a half again?
14:24Yeah.
14:25One and a half.
14:26Give another one and a half.
14:27Okay.
14:28Then we've got furry key ring or hairy comb.
14:29Yeah.
14:30So, one and a half each.
14:31Sugar.
14:32It was sticky sprinkles.
14:33Or bitty jam.
14:34I don't think bitty jam.
14:35I don't think bitty jam gets anything.
14:36Nothing for bitty jam.
14:37Anything for caramelised sugar?
14:38Anything for caramelised sugar?
14:39There's all sorts of half marks there, I think.
14:40Yeah.
14:41There's all sorts of half marks there, I think.
14:42Frozen flannel, frozen cloth.
14:43How many points?
14:44Well, one and a half points each.
14:45Well, one and a half points each.
14:46One and a half points each.
14:47Yeah.
14:48Bitty jam.
14:49I don't think bitty jam gets anything.
14:51Nothing for bitty jam.
14:52Anything for caramelised sugar?
14:53Come on, we're not breaking things down to their constituents.
14:55So, nothing for jam or sugar?
14:56Finally, strawberry yoghurt or plain yoghurt?
14:59Plain yoghurt is the full three points.
15:02Of course it is.
15:03And half marks for strawberry yoghurt?
15:05Yes, of course, because it's not strawberry, but it is yoghurt.
15:07Okay.
15:08Great.
15:09I'll get to the point quickly.
15:11It's break time.
15:12Bye.
15:18APPLAUSE
15:23Hello.
15:24Welcome back to Taskmaster.
15:26Before the break, they were trying to work out what five things
15:28I had on my side of the divider using only one of their senses.
15:32We've seen Anya guessing with her smell, Maisie and Rhys with their taste.
15:37And now, finally, it's Phil and Sanjeev's turn with their ears.
15:42Oh, God.
15:43It's not going to be at the most convenient height.
15:45Well, I told you what me at.
15:46Just tell me where you want me to be.
15:48I just want a great...
15:49Ow!
15:50Right, that looks...
15:51Who is this designed for?
15:52That looks perfect.
15:53What?
15:54Are you ready to start listening?
15:55I'm ready.
15:56Well, here's item number one.
15:57Ready to listen carefully?
15:58Yep.
16:04That could be...
16:05Oh, God.
16:06Is it a mossy walk?
16:08A mossy walk?
16:09Yeah, no.
16:10Scrap that.
16:11It's a...
16:13It sounds like a scourer.
16:15Like a green scourer.
16:16A green scourer.
16:18Rough scourer.
16:19It doesn't have to be the colour, does it?
16:20No.
16:21I'm going to go cleaning cloth.
16:22Next item.
16:24Oh, I don't like it.
16:26Dice.
16:27What sort of dice?
16:28Small.
16:29Small dice.
16:30OK.
16:31A brush of some kind?
16:32A brush?
16:33A hard-bristled brush.
16:34A hard-bristled brush.
16:35Yeah.
16:36Right, so we're going down the cleaning route so far.
16:38Yeah.
16:39Item number three.
16:49Are you still there, Sanjeev?
16:50Yeah, just a bit.
16:51I don't...
16:52I don't understand what the rubbing is.
16:55Is it a stapler?
16:57Fabric stapler?
16:58A what stapler?
16:59A what stapler?
17:00That's not a thing, is it?
17:01What am I writing down?
17:02Fabric stapler, please.
17:04OK.
17:05Your ear's a bit low.
17:06Mm-hm.
17:07That's much better.
17:08OK.
17:09Grabby thing.
17:10That sounds like a grabby thing with a spring.
17:12Am I writing down grabby thing?
17:14Yeah, you might as well.
17:15I've got anything better.
17:16Metallic grabby thing.
17:18Metallic grabby thing.
17:19Yeah.
17:20Item number four.
17:21Listen very carefully to this.
17:22No.
17:25Oh, fuck.
17:28I don't know.
17:29It's a comb.
17:30No, toothbrush.
17:31What's the adjective?
17:32Child's toothbrush.
17:33Isn't that a scourer?
17:34A plastic scourer.
17:35Plastic scourer, lovely.
17:37Final item.
17:43It's really relaxing.
17:45Sounds like a small fountain that you find in a massage parlour, apparently.
17:49You know, it could be a ping-pong ball.
17:54Could be a ping-pong ball or a bat.
17:56It's a caveter.
17:57It's one of those water things.
17:59The bird that keeps dipping.
18:01Death toy.
18:02Yeah, that's a straw moving a ping-pong ball in a jar of water.
18:07Wow.
18:08Very specific, that one.
18:10Would you like to hear any again?
18:12No.
18:13Ever.
18:14Thanks very much.
18:15See you, Finnadie.
18:16APPLAUSE
18:19Well, so I thought it was going to be a total disaster with your first guess,
18:23Mossy Walk.
18:25We've all been on one.
18:27But the big one, he landed the big fish.
18:29Fabric stapler.
18:30Wow.
18:31Just with his ears.
18:34Hello.
18:35There was a period where you were very still,
18:37and your head was against it, and I genuinely thought you were fully asleep.
18:41I had passed out, and then I was awoken by a strange noise.
18:47Was it metallic grabby thing?
18:50Yeah, in a way.
18:51That does describe a stapler, doesn't it?
18:52I'm going to give you 2.5 marks for metallic grabby thing.
18:55CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
18:57Very generous of you.
18:59Well, I guess that means that, Sanjeev, you got 2.5 points,
19:01you're in last place, so you get one actual point.
19:03Ah, blaze of glory!
19:05LAUGHTER
19:07Anya, you get two points.
19:09Phil, you get three points.
19:11Maisie, you come second, you get four points.
19:13In first place, he scored 7.5 points.
19:16It's Rhys Shearsmith!
19:18CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
19:20Who licked human teeth to victory.
19:23Let's see the scoreboard.
19:25Well, we're in familiar territory.
19:27Sanjeev's in last place on three,
19:28but at the top, it's Rhys and Maisie on nine points.
19:31CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
19:33Very good. Another task. Right away, please.
19:37OK, I have the first team task for you, Greg,
19:41and it's going to be super.
19:43MUSIC PLAYS
19:58Hello, Alex.
20:00Hello, Maisie.
20:02What can you see?
20:04Two ducks in a bath.
20:06It's difficult to remember what was here before, isn't it?
20:09In a way, yeah.
20:10It's from...
20:12LAUGHTER
20:13Hi.
20:14Hi, Rhys.
20:15How are you?
20:16Yeah, good, thanks.
20:17Nice to meet you.
20:19You all right?
20:20Rhys, Maisie, Maisie, Rhys.
20:21Hi, how are you?
20:22Yeah, very well.
20:23Very well.
20:24You're a team.
20:25We're a team!
20:26We're going to be a team.
20:27This is exciting.
20:28Oh, I thought you were a task.
20:29Like, I thought you were...
20:30No, I'm a real person.
20:32Those ducks are wearing the same clothes as me.
20:34So the ducks are all of us.
20:36GASP
20:37Hello.
20:39Hello.
20:40Hello.
20:41I'm Anya.
20:42Hi, Anya.
20:43Nice to meet you.
20:44No way.
20:47Hello.
20:48Oh, hey, guys.
20:49You all right?
20:50I love it.
20:51Hello.
20:52How are you?
20:53First time meeting.
20:54Yeah.
20:55The three of you are a team.
20:56I feel like a part of a family, finally.
20:58There's a task behind you.
21:00What?
21:01Oh.
21:02Go on.
21:03Do you want to look at it?
21:04Shall I look at it?
21:05No, you do it.
21:06The team member must hook a duck.
21:08Silently read the duck's superpower.
21:11Then use that superpower for the next task in ten minutes from now.
21:16At no point may you tell your teammates your superpower.
21:19Your time starts now.
21:21OK, so let me get this straight.
21:22We've got a superpower that's coming, but we don't say what it is.
21:24We don't know what that is.
21:25And in the meantime, we do hook a duck.
21:27Yes, you must stay behind that red line, please.
21:29Yeah.
21:30Pretty cool guy on there.
21:35Yeah.
21:36He's like George Michael, isn't he?
21:39Writer's superpower on the little clipboard.
21:42You have two minutes.
21:44Your time starts now.
21:46Oh, is it meant to be you?
21:48Because of its gap in its teeth?
21:50Oh!
21:51Soz!
21:52Oh, is it actually you?
21:54Got your abs?
21:55And your crotch?
21:56I think that's a good superpower.
21:59Come on.
22:00There we go.
22:01Are you ready?
22:02Yeah.
22:03OK, I've got it.
22:04Who have you got?
22:05Maisie.
22:06Sorry.
22:07Oh, no, Phil!
22:08Don't show each other your superpowers, but have a read.
22:13Rotate slowly and powerfully to thwart evil.
22:20You can morph into George Michael at any given moment.
22:25Turn any family member into a weapon by a look.
22:30Your fingers are a vacuum cleaner.
22:34You can tell when anyone lies.
22:38OK, the next task will start in eight minutes.
22:41Please go into the house and prepare yourselves.
22:44Can't they?
22:45APPLAUSE
22:50I mean, there's a lot going on in this.
22:51Yes, isn't there?
22:52But I think I understand.
22:54They've all got superpowers now.
22:55And they'd previously made up the superpowers themselves.
22:58That's right.
22:59Well, we can see another introduction video if you want.
23:02That's what I was hoping for.
23:03Let's do it.
23:04Here we go.
23:06Come on, race.
23:08Ah.
23:09Welcome, team.
23:10Oh!
23:11I remember this guy.
23:13Yeah.
23:14Shall we go for it?
23:15Let's have a look.
23:16What is that?
23:17It's a cake.
23:18Is it Alex on a meringue?
23:19Remove the most flour from the tray
23:21without touching flour with your hands
23:23or moving little, little Alex Horne.
23:26If little, little Alex Horne moves at any point,
23:29you are disqualified.
23:31Oh, no!
23:32No.
23:33You must take it in turns to remove flour
23:35and you must employ your superpowers.
23:37There's a bonus point for the contestant
23:39who employs their superpower most effectively.
23:43Most flour in the bowl wins.
23:45You have a maximum of 15 minutes.
23:47Your time starts now.
23:49So you can stop at any time.
23:50Oh.
23:51Oh, right.
23:52So we need to know when to tap out.
23:53Exactly.
23:54So when you say you can't move him,
23:55what about his cape or if it flaps?
23:57Yeah, what if his cape flaps?
23:59Is that movement?
24:00I'm going to be watching his body.
24:02We asked you about the cape flaps.
24:04Can we avoid the term cape flaps?
24:06That's out of the bag.
24:07The cape may flap.
24:12I mean, I'm amazed to watch some adults debating
24:15whether cape flaps are movement in a human being.
24:20I enjoyed it.
24:21So it's a very big build-up for this,
24:22but we're not going to see what happens
24:23until after the break, Greg.
24:24Oh, my God.
24:26End of part two, anyone?
24:27Yes, please.
24:38Hello.
24:39Thank you and welcome back to part three of Taskmaster.
24:43And tonight, I'm going to part three like it's 1999.
24:48Before the break...
24:52..they each selected a superpower they had previously created
24:55and now they have to use those powers
24:57while removing as much flour as possible
24:59without toppling the super little Alex Horne figurine.
25:02Here's how they all got on.
25:04He can't move and we've got to get all that flour into there
25:06Yeah.
25:07And deploy the super power.
25:08Yeah.
25:09Do you think that we will be able to do it?
25:10Yeah, defo.
25:11I think you're lying.
25:13But anyway...
25:14What do you mean?
25:15I don't know.
25:16I've just got a feeling.
25:17What's what I've got?
25:20That's good.
25:21Why don't, er...
25:22Sanjeev's already...
25:23Yeah, good idea.
25:25Oh, that's good, yeah.
25:26What is the scientific way that he would be not falling?
25:30Well, maybe I can help.
25:34Hello?
25:35Is that Andrew?
25:36It is, yes.
25:37Hi.
25:38Er, this is your brother Phil.
25:42So, er, we've got a tiny version of Alex Horne.
25:45I've got to get the flour away without him moving.
25:48Er, telekinesis?
25:51That's not going to work.
25:52Er, thanks though.
25:54Is that your half-brother?
25:55Half-brother?
25:56Step-brother?
25:57What made you think we were step-brother?
25:58That was my fault.
25:59Really?
26:00Yeah, yeah.
26:01Why?
26:02Just didn't sound right.
26:03I know.
26:04I think we panicked.
26:05How come we've got such good items for this very time?
26:07I know.
26:08I'm really happy here.
26:09Do you think somebody knew what the tasks were?
26:11Do you think there's been some foul play?
26:13No.
26:14And I know that to be true because I know that to be true.
26:18Erm...
26:19Can I prepare my superpower to go after Phil?
26:21Do whatever you want.
26:26Is that the superpower?
26:27Yeah.
26:29That's probably the most so far, actually.
26:30Back to Sanjee.
26:31I've got an idea.
26:32I'm going to use this as a straight hedge
26:34and then we can scoop that without worrying about...
26:37Yeah, yeah.
26:43Hello?
26:44So, Andrew, Sanjeev is using a letter now to move the flower away.
26:47Does that sound like a good idea?
26:48Yes.
26:49Thanks.
26:50See you later.
26:51You are my brother, though, aren't you?
26:52I can confirm I'm your actual brother, yes.
26:54Fully?
26:55Fully.
26:56You don't need to know all the details.
26:57See you, bro.
27:01Oh, that looks good.
27:03That's it.
27:04This is good, Rhys.
27:05You've got a good momentum going.
27:06Well...
27:07This is my son.
27:09Come on, boy.
27:10Be good for Daddy.
27:12OK.
27:13Come on, boy.
27:14This is your son, is it, Phil?
27:16Yeah.
27:17Tarquin.
27:18There's old Tarquin.
27:19He's got his dad's eyes.
27:20Oh, Alex, can I have my big one?
27:22Oh?
27:23Big one, now, please.
27:26That's the sock, is it?
27:28Er...
27:29You've got seven and a half minutes.
27:30I think I'm going to go for these.
27:31I think we've done quite well, actually.
27:44Well, I'll...
27:45Ooh!
27:48Oh, no!
27:52Now, that's the timer.
27:53Oh!
27:54We're about 15 seconds away from completing the task.
28:00I'm happy with that.
28:01Thanks, team.
28:02Bye-bye.
28:03Thanks, guys.
28:06I am tempted to spend the whole time discussing why Anya doubts the bloodline of Phil's family.
28:13I just thought the conversation felt quite stilted, no offence.
28:17Macy, you had a better superpower for the job.
28:20Yeah.
28:21And you were certainly very excited when you realised.
28:23Have we got a stilt?
28:24Yes.
28:27But looking at you guys, like, you were really powering ahead.
28:30We were slow.
28:31All that chopping into it was good, Sammy.
28:32I think you had a better strategy.
28:33Oh, the slow and steady science-based approach.
28:36Yeah.
28:37It was like an Aesop's fable.
28:38It really was.
28:39And I had a little nap in the middle.
28:41Both teams absolutely failed.
28:44So it's simply this.
28:45There is a bonus point for the contestant who employs their superpower most effectively.
28:48Slow, steady, powerful.
28:50I'm going to give Sanjeev the bonus point.
28:52OK, so 0-0-0-0.
28:54One point for Sanjeev.
28:55APPLAUSE
28:58Do you have another task, Alex, please?
29:00I'm sure I can pull one out of the bag for you, Greg.
29:02Here we go.
29:03MUSIC PLAYS
29:16Lovely floral print.
29:18Your sort of thing.
29:22What's this?
29:23We're in the dome, you've got a bag.
29:24Yeah.
29:25Do I look in it?
29:26What are you looking for?
29:27A task.
29:28You want the task?
29:29Yeah.
29:30Sure.
29:31Make a wish.
29:33Make a wish?
29:34Yeah.
29:35Why would I make a wish?
29:36Make the task appear.
29:38I wish a task appeared.
29:40That's it.
29:41Keep wishing.
29:46Oh!
29:47Oh, my God, that's so magical.
29:49Ah.
29:53Oh, God.
29:54I wish a task would appear.
30:01That's dead impressive.
30:02That's a funny little way to start the task.
30:07Take the most surprising thing out of this bag.
30:11This is a Mary Poppins thing.
30:13I've just got it.
30:14Showed a big bag.
30:15You have a maximum of...
30:1715 minutes.
30:18Your time starts now.
30:20Take the most surprising thing out of this bag.
30:25Take the most surprising thing out of this bag.
30:26Take the most surprising thing out of this bag.
30:33Shall I go and get things, put them in, and that'd be a surprise when they come out again?
30:37Exactly that.
30:38I just don't understand the task.
30:44Take the most surprising thing.
30:47I could put stuff in the bag to take out.
30:51OK.
30:52That's what you do, innit?
30:56Fascinating what this show does, isn't it?
30:58I know for a fact that Maisie is an incredibly intelligent woman,
31:02and yet she came across there as a new Coronation Street character
31:06who's adorable but thick.
31:11It's just the pressure.
31:12The pressure.
31:13It just does something to you.
31:15OK.
31:16Let's crack up.
31:17OK.
31:18They've got to take something surprising out of the bag.
31:19Here is Anya and Sanja.
31:22Sanji.
31:26Chicken.
31:27There's a chicken in the bag.
31:28Chicken in the bag.
31:31OK.
31:32Thanks, Anya.
31:34Very surprising.
31:37One more thing.
31:44Oh, there's a can of the chicken in the bag.
31:46You sound surprised.
31:47I am.
31:51I'm going to get a can opener.
31:55Right.
31:56Can't wait.
31:57Ladies and gentlemen.
32:02In the blue corner, we have Ingmar Johansson,
32:09the great Scandinavian boxer.
32:12What do you think might be inside this can?
32:14Beans.
32:17What is it?
32:18Jam.
32:19Jam?
32:22It comes off.
32:23Surprise.
32:24And what will you find in the great Ingmar Johansson's boxing glove?
32:32I don't know.
32:34His hand.
32:36Thank you, Anya.
32:37Jam in a can in a chicken in a bag.
32:39Let's just check if there's anything inside this jam.
32:49Look at that.
32:51There was a bean in the can.
32:54But by the time that we came around to it, that was surprising.
32:56Thank you, Anya.
32:57But wait.
32:59Surely there can't be anything inside this little bean.
33:06Message.
33:08Inside the bean?
33:09Inside the bean.
33:10Greg, I am your daughter.
33:11I knew it.
33:12I knew it.
33:13That's why I was so comfortable seeing your nose in my nose.
33:27Mallorca 1998.
33:28Tell me about it.
33:30Oh, my God.
33:31Well, they're both good.
33:32I mean, to mention a Swedish boxer.
33:35He won the world title in 59-60.
33:38Something like that.
33:39Oh, yeah.
33:40Of course.
33:41I was surprised to have him referenced.
33:43So was I, yeah.
33:44I was surprised that his severed hand was in the club.
33:47And most of all, I was surprised.
33:49I think Sanjeev was enjoying himself during that time.
33:52But I have to say, Anya's one is one of the best things I've ever seen.
33:57So there is that.
33:58I mean, I was impressed when you had jam in a can up a chicken's cloaca.
34:05Before I find out that you're my beloved daughter.
34:07Yeah, it's just quite a journey, I think, for both of us.
34:13But it's nice to finally be reunited.
34:15Yeah, it's great.
34:16I don't really want to hang out, though.
34:19A boxer and a daughter.
34:20Want to see some more?
34:21I want to see more than a boxer and a daughter, all right?
34:23OK, next, it's two people who sound like four people.
34:26Maisie, Adam, Phil, Ellis.
34:28Ellis.
34:29LAUGHTER
34:31You're looking pretty surprised, Alex.
34:32Right.
34:33Huh?
34:34Huh?
34:35Oh, what?
34:36Table derivative.
34:37Little �-
34:54You're looking pretty surprised, Alex.
34:57Alex right right I'll just tip it back I suppose it's it oh there's a there's a
35:22donkey dressed as a chicken in the bag way the French lady on the donkey
35:27dress for the chicken in a feather boa with a French lady in a Hawaiian bra and
35:32a accordion well I wasn't expecting that no thank you Maisie surprising well I
35:45thought it might be a fish surprising bit she's got to gut it now that's
35:55they're surprising that it's great there we are well thank you very much
36:06so Maisie was a surprising chicken donkey French Hawaiian accordion player wait yeah
36:11I wasn't really that surprised because I could see you straight away honestly we can
36:17just skip through yeah okay so everyone knows that a lot of fishing rods are
36:23extendable so when you started doing that old trick I thought this is disappointing
36:26that's not at all surprising and then when there was a fish on the end of the
36:29line I thought that's a bit disappointing yeah and that's when you hit me with the
36:34big surprise you found a photograph of me where I'm quite clearly hammered yeah and
36:41vulnerable some would say that was the night I was conceived
36:51the photo we see the photo here just so you know Greg your teeth there it's
36:55actually your date of birth on your teeth and it's your phone number on your arm my
37:00actual phone number yeah that's why we blurred it slide that's good but I've got
37:04it on you if you want it okay time what's more in the final part of the show the
37:09winner will head home with the Treaty of Versailles tucked under one arm a
37:13replica womb under the other and a deep-booted sense that time is running out
37:17and they should hold their loved ones a little bit closer
37:23yeah
37:30yeah
37:33yeah
37:34yeah
37:36yes they have to do that because you told them to do that with a typed letter sealed
37:40with wax and people very rarely question the logic of what is the main
37:43principle of the show there's just one person left to see and it's Reese
37:46she has me a bag surprising yes yes oh what is this
38:14oh all right all right
38:21dartboard
38:24oh
38:26baby head
38:27I'm sorry but that is my only one to have expected that
38:33glass came below interesting
38:38hit the spot with a bone to pick from the pea-brained baby surprising
38:43solve the riddle hit the spot well this is a target so you know what would
38:50target this a plate that would a plate of food that would hit the spot who knows
38:54let's see what the next part of the riddle is there with the bone to pick
38:58we've got a plate perhaps somehow this well I never
39:05the bone that becomes a spoon I'm sorry but that's a surprise
39:12and the pea-brained baby well now pea-brained
39:16bon appetit
39:17a bit surprising isn't it
39:23oh yeah
39:25not expecting that way
39:27I wasn't
39:28all right
39:29there
39:30ain't got anything to go with this
39:35anything else in the bag
39:37oh yeah
39:39ah lovely
39:43I'd say that was very surprising
39:50get out
39:51yeah in one bag
39:53wow
39:54okay thanks Rhys
39:56okay
39:57see you later
39:58see you
39:59see you later
40:03that was brilliant
40:07brilliant
40:08so it's a clown man mopping up baby brains in the baguette
40:11yeah pretty much
40:14brilliant wow god what a drama
40:16it looked extravagant
40:17okay got some points
40:19I guess so yes
40:20well we know what the least surprising thing from the bag was
40:23it was Maisie
40:24no one's going to get two points because I think there was a considerable
40:27jump in quality after Maisie
40:29let's say three points to Sanjeev's that I enjoyed immensely
40:33right
40:34four points to Phil
40:36and the baby brains and discovering I've got a daughter I couldn't separate
40:41they both horrified me
40:44and you're pleased
40:46and I'm pleased
40:48thank you daddy
40:50you
40:53five points to Anja and five points to Rhys
40:55let us glance at the scores once more
40:59yes well Anja and Maisie are in joint second on ten but in the lead with 14 points is Rhys
41:04yes
41:07okay please stay right where you are
41:11for the final task of the show
41:13hello everyone
41:23hello
41:25Alex who's going to read the task
41:27Maisie's going to read the task
41:29please Maisie
41:30guess how many things the taskmaster's assistant has on him
41:36worst answer is eliminated
41:39but there is a bonus of five actual points if you are exactly ten out at any time
41:45last player standing wins
41:48what?
41:49what?
41:50should you explain it?
41:51yes there's going to be four rounds
41:53I'm going to go behind that screen and come out with some things
41:57you've got to work out or guess how many of those things I've got on me
42:01right
42:02okay
42:03ten away at any point you get five genuine points for the actual show
42:06oh
42:07are you ready for a round?
42:08oh hello Sanjee
42:09sorry yes I may have a nap during this
42:11unfortunately Sanjeev even if you're out you do have to carry on in case you get this bonus
42:15ah
42:17I know
42:18tricky
42:19first
42:20Greg would you like me to go behind the screen?
42:21go behind the screen
42:22it's time for round one
42:24okay
42:25the first category
42:27how many babies has Alex got on him?
42:33can Alex spin around?
42:35Alex can't spin around holding babies
42:37reveal your baby guesses
42:4114
42:4213
42:4316
42:443
42:4512
42:46I can tell you that none of you are 10 above
42:48I will now reveal
42:50the number of babies that Alex has on him
42:535
42:54wow
42:55wow
42:56how are you so close?
42:59I'm afraid Phil
43:01you were the furthest away
43:03what an emotional rollercoaster
43:05and so Phil is eliminated
43:07oh
43:08oh
43:09thank you
43:10and will you hold a baby to show you're out?
43:13of course I won't
43:14round two the category is
43:17forks
43:19oh
43:20oh
43:21god
43:22please guess the amount of forks that Alex has on him
43:25starting now
43:27Phil you can still guess
43:29if you get cannibal
43:30I'm alright
43:31but you get five bonus points
43:32oh don't do it
43:33oh god
43:35I didn't listen
43:36please reveal your fork scores
43:39now
43:40we have 23
43:4113
43:4218
43:4316
43:44and 60 from Sanjeev
43:456-0?
43:46oh you've been asleep
43:47I forgot
43:48yeah
43:49I can tell you that no one
43:51has gone exactly 10 away
43:53exactly 10 away from the fork count
43:55there were 15 forks on the tray
43:57oh
43:5815?
43:59but what's under the cloche Sanjeev
44:01oh
44:02could there be
44:0335
44:04or 45
44:06or 45
44:07or 45
44:12marbles
44:13oh
44:14Sanjeev you were eliminated
44:15there were only 15 forks
44:17excellent
44:18Sanjeev's eliminated
44:19anti-calming
44:25the catch key for round 3 is
44:27belts
44:28oh
44:29oh
44:30oh dear
44:31how many belts does he have
44:34oh this is
44:35how were we meant to
44:36you're not meant to know Rees
44:40stop belting
44:41Please reveal your belt answers.
44:453, 0, 5, 4, 14.
44:48OK, I'll crack straight in and tell you that no-one has got
44:51the bonus five points, no-one is exactly ten away.
44:54And I can reveal the amount of belts Alex has on is...
44:58Whoa!
45:00Only one belt!
45:01It's pink, but it's a karate belt.
45:04Rhys is eliminated.
45:06APPLAUSE
45:11Just like you threw me away.
45:16LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
45:20The final round. Yes.
45:22Final round, the big one.
45:24The big one?
45:26Birds!
45:32How many birds does Alex have?
45:34Er...
45:39Please reveal your bird counts.
45:42Someone here has got exactly ten away.
45:46CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:49Again, a sweet five points.
45:53Because there are four birds on Alex.
45:55Rhys takes five points.
45:57CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:59And so, Anya wins the task.
46:05Oh!
46:06You also get five points.
46:07CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:08CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:09CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:16Woo!
46:17What a rush.
46:19Wowie.
46:20It was almost too mysterious.
46:22Oh, my God.
46:23The adrenaline was...
46:24The adrenaline was coursing through my veins.
46:26Well, Phil was the worst of it.
46:28He gets one point.
46:29Sanjeev got two points.
46:30Maisie, four.
46:31Anya, five.
46:32But Rhys, he grabbed the bonus five points.
46:34He gets a total of eight points!
46:36Well done, Rhys.
46:37CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:39Scoreboard?
46:40Yes.
46:41Well, it means that in joint last place,
46:43it's Phil and Sanjeev on nine,
46:45but with a huge 22 points,
46:46the winner is Rhys Shearsmith!
46:47CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:48REES SHEARSMITH
46:49CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:50REES SHEARSMITH
46:52HAS WON!
46:53Please head up to the stage
46:54and claim your things
46:56that are hard to explain!
46:58CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
47:00It's Rhys!
47:01APPLAUSE
47:02AND APPLAUSE
47:04AND APPLAUSE
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