A.W.P. S02 E10. Scoop.

deaddogsdam

First broadcast 25th April 1986.  The lads lose there way, arrive at a villa and decide to go skinny-dipping in the swimming pool - much to the outrage of the real occupants, who arrive unexpectedly.  Timothy Spall - Barry Taylor Tim Healy - Dennis Patterson Kevin Whately - Neville Hope Jimmy Nail - Oz Osborne Christopher Fairbank - Albert Moxey Pat Roach - Bomber Busbridge Gary Holton - Wayne Norris Bill Paterson - Ally Fraser James Booth - Kenny Ames Madelaine Newton - Christine Chadwick Julia Tobin - Brenda Hope Lesley Saint-John - Vicki Patrick Godfrey - Geoffrey Oxlade Georgine Anderson - Pauline Oxlade Ricardo Montez - Fuentes Stephen Tiller - Nick Wheeler Eric Mason - Terry Leather Dave Carter - Lionel Joseph Long - Carlos Peggy Shields - Alice Barbara Miller - Beattie Paul Antony-Barber - Russell Catherine Whately - Debbie Hope

Transcript

00:00No one said it was going to be easy

00:16Nobody said it had to be fair

00:25All of the chances taken together

00:28And all the changes we had to share

00:34Well, you think we've made it all worthwhile

00:42Then you realize no one cares

00:49But we're going to get it right this time

00:54Cause we've passed the point of no return

01:00And we're never going to go down the road again

01:08And we're going to get it right this time

01:27What do you got in here, man?

01:50We're supposed to be tourists, man.

01:53You don't remember what Ali said?

01:55Well, still got a job to do.

01:56Oh, no, but look, man, we can get tools down there.

01:58You'll blow the whole thing.

01:59We'll take that through the coasts, man.

02:09How long is it, boy?

02:10You look bloody dangerous, that is.

02:12Mr Patterson, are you coming on the coach with the rest of you?

02:14We've got a minibus here.

02:15I'll see you back at the hotel.

02:16Cocktails at six and bingo at seven.

02:20I've done bloody tools since I was apprenticed, you know.

02:23Oh, yeah, man.

02:23You didn't tell me you're sentimentally attached to a spirit level.

02:26No, I'm talking about Roland, man.

02:28Who's the Ireland?

02:30We're trouble.

02:30Yeah.

02:31What was it, Fraser said about what's coming down here?

02:35I was sending the team to help the British on them flies.

02:38Oh, ho, ho, ho, what a lot of ballons.

02:39It's obvious we're here, because we're here, because we're here to help the British on them flies.

02:44It's obvious we're here, because there's not a building work that's available for Maligat and Jib.

02:49But I never saw somebody's building in all my life.

02:50It's a British paradise.

02:51Mind, I think it's ruined with you.

02:52It's ruined with you.

02:53But think of all the things we're here to help the British on them flies.

02:54It's obvious we're here, because there's not a building work that's available for Maligat and Jib.

03:08But I never saw somebody's building in all my life.

03:09It's a British paradise.

03:10Mind, I think it's ruined with you.

03:11But think of all the Lancer employment.

03:12It must be all the millionaires.

03:13I had a totally false impression of this place.

03:14I thought it was on, you know, shots and playwise with plushes.

03:15See more bloody cranes and sports cars.

03:16Yeah, it's right.

03:17I mean, leisure is in the old craft industry and the IT.

03:18I thought it was on, you know, shots and playwise with plushes.

03:29See more bloody cranes and sports cars.

03:31Yeah, it's right.

03:32I mean, leisure is in the old craft industry, aren't I?

03:36Fuck home, it's not.

03:37We've got to climb it, haven't we?

03:40Yeah.

03:41I mean, look, look, we wouldn't ever see a bloody water shooting over into an ice train.

03:46All right.

03:56This is it.

04:00Right.

04:02There you go.

04:07Oh, yeah, thanks.

04:09Two of my own ones on the top.

04:11Yes, thanks.

04:13Gracias.

04:17Oh, it's a shower.

04:23Well, it's all right. I like showers. Very refreshing.

04:26Oh, well, Debbie doesn't.

04:28She's not very big. Stick her in that thing, man.

04:35What?

04:37Oh, I haven't changed any money yet.

04:41Look, I'm sorry, we haven't got any Spanish money. Will, erm, Sterling do?

04:45Of course, senor.

04:47Say what, my God.

04:51I don't mind.

04:52That's his.

04:56We are so hopeless at things like that.

04:59What do you reckon, then? It's all right, really, isn't it?

05:02It's a bit cramped for the three of us.

05:05All the shutters never left a bit of air anymore.

05:07See what sort of view we've got, eh?

05:09Mm-hm.

05:10My day.

05:11My day.

05:12My day.

05:13Well, this part of Spain's crawling with Brits, apparently.

05:14Well, it'd suit you, that, won't it? Eh?

05:15I mean, because you've got much more chance of getting tapped up by two birds from beckoning

05:19than you have some Spanish senorita, you know?

05:20Because the stone's Catholics are Spanish, you know?

05:21You take one out, Moxie.

05:22She'll bring a granny with us as a chaperone.

05:23Of course, er, I respect that, Blake.

05:24You know?

05:25Hello!

05:26Oh, no, Limón.

05:27Por favor.

05:28My and me have been scouting out the area.

05:54He's not exactly in the most picturesque part of town, but apparently, according to this street map,

06:00this hotel is situated between a bullring on one side and the abattoir on the other.

06:07I hope they didn't use this place as a shortcut.

06:10We're coming downtown, isn't he?

06:12I mean, he's not going to get too frantic in here, is he?

06:14No, it's a drink-off.

06:16Go for a walk.

06:18Where's Wayne?

06:19Oh, making a pathetic attempt to chat up the receptionist.

06:22Oh, well, let's hope she's got a tiny grandma, eh?

06:24You coming, Dennis?

06:25No, no, no, I'm all right, Ethan.

06:27Oh, well, sorry you're kind of come under piss with the lads, eh,

06:30but it was your decision to drag that total hanging out.

06:32Look, I'm waiting for Ali's coat.

06:34I'll be right for you.

06:35Apparently, the more minutes than I need, very nice.

06:37It's full of that sort of colour.

06:39And you're warm enough, Beatty.

06:41I think you should have put your long-sleeved bully on, you know.

06:43I'm not tired at all.

06:45No, that's not what I said.

06:47Good afternoon, ladies. Can I buy you a drink?

06:49Yeah, Beatty, this young man's trying to get me drunk.

06:52Eh, go on, first night of your holidays, glass of wine,

06:55something like that, eh?

06:56No.

06:57I'll have a large gin and a very little tonic,

07:00and she'll have a brandy and ginger.

07:02Oh, nice.

07:03I wonder if...

07:04I don't have a large gin and a nice ibis.

07:05Just gonna be a little, yeah?

07:06I'm more ready than you.

07:07Oh, that's...

07:08Yeah, it's really good.

07:09I love you.

07:11I'm pretty good.

07:12And I love you.

07:13Oh, yeah.

07:14It's really good.

07:15It's really good.

07:16I love you, though, I love you.

07:17I love you, though.

07:19I love you.

07:20I love you, though.

07:23Oh, yeah.

07:24It's pretty good.

07:25I love you.

07:26I love you.

07:27I love you.

07:28I love you.

07:29I love you.

07:30Oh, no, don't come up tonight, Dennis.

07:56We've had a nightmare flight.

07:57The customs took us apart.

08:00We've had a normal life.

08:01Yeah, oh, right.

08:03Bring the lads up first thing in the morning.

08:04Look, I'll give you directions.

08:17Right, you lot.

08:19In table silvou plate, which is French for...

08:22...suffers on the table.

08:23That's it.

08:25Come on, boys.

08:25The first one through gets a free plastic kick.

08:28You can take your drinks through.

08:31Don't have to gulp them down.

08:34Mary, I know you only paid five pounds for your holiday.

08:36We'll try and enjoy it.

08:37Yeah, no weird.

08:39Here we are now.

08:41George, George, leave your walking frame.

08:43It's not that far.

08:45Ali doesn't want to see us, so do you like going to go into town,

08:48find a restaurant at the bistro, something like that?

08:50Why don't we just stay here?

08:51I didn't think you'd want to eat the geriatric ward.

08:55They're lovely.

08:56They're so full of beans.

08:58I wish I could get my mother to come up with one of those things.

09:00It would do the world of good.

09:02Look, this hotel's a bit basic, you know.

09:03If you like, would you go and find somewhere nicer?

09:05Oh, look, don't worry about me.

09:07I'm fine.

09:08Come on, ladies.

09:09Now, Brenda and I are thinking of renting a car.

09:12It's much of you.

09:13I just wish I had a bit more time to spend with you.

09:15Because I won't be having any continental holidays after his job's finished, though.

09:19Why do you say that?

09:21Back on the door.

09:23I thought you had your job back home with that.

09:25No, it's there if I want it.

09:27But I don't.

09:28Pack it in.

09:32Shall we get a cab to Marbella?

09:34Check that out.

09:36Nah, I just want to get the need bit.

09:39Christ, I've had more excitement in Berwick when I wet some not then.

09:42Yeah, let's put the lid on this one, eh?

09:47Mind you, it's Tuesday.

09:54Well, I mean, it's, uh, nothing ever happens on that Tuesday, does it?

10:01I think the castle won the first cup on a Tuesday.

10:04And all this bloke wants to kill themselves on a Tuesday.

10:09Been in here, already.

10:10I think the castle won be opposite.

10:12I think the castle won the first cup in her head.

10:15How many years from now?

10:18Da-da-da-da-da.

10:19Who may be still be taking me to Valentine's?

10:22Woo!

10:22Birthday greetings, bottle of wine.

10:25The castle won't turn the슬.

10:27Come on!

10:29How will you love the door?

10:31Two, three, four.

10:33Who may be still be, who may be still be be?

10:36When I'm sixty-four

10:41Can you believe it, then?

10:42Would she absallow this to look like she then it's happening here?

10:45No, no, no.

10:46Aye, aye.

10:47Well, it's only one thing to do with us.

10:49Come on, my dear.

10:57Yeah, hello, shall we?

11:01When you still meet me

11:03When you still meet me

11:05When I'm sixty-four

11:07Last time!

11:08Okay!

11:09When you don't come,

11:10When you still meet me

11:12When you still meet me

11:14When you still meet me

11:20Oh, not again.

11:23It's hardly surprising

11:24with all that racket going on down the stairs.

11:35I think that's it, okay?

11:36What do you mean you think? Is it or isn't it?

11:50I'm not sure.

11:51I mean, not a bloody road's got names.

11:52We went right past the tennis trance, right?

11:53Then we took the left-hand front, right?

11:54To the unmade road.

11:55Then it says here, after half a mile, the timing starts again, right?

11:57So you go up there and it's the second villa.

11:59What's got in there, mate?

12:00They don't say nothing.

12:01Who's got in there, mate?

12:02They don't say nothing.

12:03Who's got in there, mate?

12:04They don't say nothing.

12:05Who's got in there, mate?

12:06They don't say nothing.

12:07Who's got in there, mate?

12:08They don't say nothing.

12:35I don't say nothing.

12:38This must be the one.

12:40There's no car it would.

12:43They might have gone into town.

12:45Maybe they're round the back.

12:47I see it.

12:49We found myself a division in the출.

12:56So I'm getting laid figure out.

12:59Well, I'm getting interview.

13:02See, these are the mine.

13:05hello

13:13this is all very nice

13:23the pool's a bit small isn't it

13:26what yours is olympic size is it the one in your backyard in Tilbury

13:29what's wrong with her eh got out the wrong side of bed did she

13:32yeah 17 times

13:34do you think i slept with a racket you lot were making at seven o'clock them

13:38spanish brickies were back on the job

13:40where was it about three feet from my pillar

13:43we don't get that we're all on the other side of ourselves

13:47well i arranged that yeah i didn't have well i thought the further away you and

13:50Brenda and the Ben were from the lads the better you know

13:54what's all he wanted to do dennis i thought he wasn't supposed to be finished

13:57yeah he wants the swimming pool extending and the terrace built

14:01well you can only build the terrace that way after cantilever it

14:05he wants a cascade building as well and a brick barbecue

14:09oh well we should do that first then we can have barbecue chicken for lunch every day eh

14:16well i've got to admit dennis you certainly came up trumps for the boys on this one this is without doubt the pleasantest building site i've ever worked on

14:27well do so look hands down

14:31whoa i don't have a dip every day now

14:33no no actually no uh not if we're extending the pool we're not

14:37i mean unless i want to dive straight into a heap of rubble

14:40well that's hardly more reason to get in there knowing it

14:42oh yeah well that'd be all right then can we

14:45well i don't know really it's not our pool is it

14:48all right then

14:49we're not a bunch of lepers you know it's not as if we're gonna pull out the plug you think

14:53well even if we do we'll be pulling the plug this afternoon so

14:56well i must admit a dip would be very refreshing wouldn't it particularly before our days of graff

15:02at least the sun will be right overhead sir

15:05yeah i know he said we should make out like tourists didn't he

15:12ah you're weird isn't it

15:14ah thanks great

15:15yeah not me but i can't swim

15:17go on

15:19hey hang on a minute none of us has got cousins

15:25what's not formal man naked as nature intended it to be

15:28that's right see this way

15:31i'm getting all over time can i just

15:33FIRE!

15:34i just took that biggie

15:35come out and find seven brickies dongs close

15:37oh

15:38oh

15:39ah

15:40ah

15:41ah

15:42ah

15:43ah

15:44ah

15:45ah

15:46ah

15:47ah

15:48ah

15:49ah

15:51ah

15:52ah

15:53ah

15:54ah

15:55ah

16:01who does that belong to?

16:02i have no idea

16:07is it what's name's day to do the pool?

16:08no it comes thursdays

16:10yes

16:11do you know what they're like?

16:13no i'm not he's got that little yellow car

16:16oh

16:17oh

16:18oh

16:19oh

16:22oh

16:23oh

16:24oh

16:25oh

16:26oh

16:27oh

16:28oh

16:29hey

16:30oh

16:31o

16:33oh

16:34oh

16:37oh

16:38oh

16:39oh

16:41So all them talks, come out and make up, nose clips on,

16:45it's supposed to be a bloody spot.

16:47Hey, come in, let's have a go.

16:49Right.

16:50Come on, in the seat.

16:51Come on.

16:52Hold on, hold on.

16:53You can be team leader.

16:54One, two, three.

16:58Good God.

17:00Pauline, don't come any further.

17:01Who's there?

17:02Oh, cool.

17:03I'll take care of this.

17:04You can run me up the team.

17:05Hey!

17:08Hey!

17:09You lot!

17:10Oh!

17:13Good morning.

17:14Never mind good morning.

17:15Can you explain who you are and what you're doing here?

17:18Hold it!

17:19Shut up, man!

17:23We're waiting for Mr. Fraser.

17:25Who?

17:26Oh!

17:27Shut up, will you?

17:28Keep it down!

17:30Is this not his villa?

17:31No, it is not.

17:32It is mine.

17:33Oh!

17:34Geoffrey!

17:35They're all naked!

17:36Well, it's not customary to wear a morning suit when you go out for a swim, missus.

17:39If you're not out of here immediately, I shall call the Guardian of Seville.

17:41Oh, look, Paul.

17:42This has been a legitimate mistake, you know.

17:45There's no need to go over the top.

17:47I mean, we're all Brits here.

17:48You're the type of Britisher that caused my wife and I to retire here in the first place!

17:52Where the hell have you been?

17:53All right.

17:54All right.

17:55All right, Allie.

17:56You've got lost.

17:57You guys been swimming?

17:58Well, it's a long story, Lake.

17:59All right.

18:00All right, Allie.

18:01All right, Allie.

18:02All right, Allie.

18:03You've got lost.

18:04You guys been swimming?

18:05Well, it's a long story, Lake.

18:06I think it's my fault, actually, Mr. Faze.

18:07We're supposed to take a right, but I took a look wrong.

18:08All right, Allie.

18:09All right, Allie.

18:10You've got lost.

18:11You guys been swimming?

18:13Well, it's a long story, Lake.

18:14I think it's my fault, actually, Mr. Faze.

18:15Yes, we were supposed to take a right, but I took a look wrong.

18:31Oh, right.

18:32You've seen lovely, lovely.

18:33Look, get your hairy assies round the back.

18:35Dennis, come on, quick.

18:36Look, is this who we're going to go on?

18:46These people, signor Ostly, they break into your house?

18:50Um, in point of fact, no.

18:52But only because Mrs. Oxlade and I came home.

18:55And found them in your pool.

18:57In flagrante, yes.

18:58Not in the pool.

19:00What?

19:01Yes, in the pool.

19:03In the nude.

19:04Si, si.

19:05It is not typical, signor Ostly, I think, to swim before you rob a house.

19:11Uh, not as a rule, no.

19:13But there's no telling the cheek of people these days.

19:15It's not enough for them to steal your Aumelieu clock.

19:18They also like to defile your house.

19:21And there were many of them.

19:23Six or seven.

19:24At least half a dozen.

19:25And I'm ashamed to say they were British.

19:28I will investigate, okay?

19:30Um, well I, I hope you're taking this seriously.

19:35I'd like to remind you what British riffraff did to Mallorca last year.

19:39They reduced its tourist trade by 62%.

19:42Si, senor Ostly.

19:44I go where you live.

19:45I go house to house.

19:47Very well.

19:48Hold on, Pauline.

19:50Buenas tardes.

19:51Gracias.

19:52Senora.

19:53Oh, thank you.

19:55Oh, thank you.

19:56Oh, thank you.

19:57Oh.

19:58Oh, thank you.

20:00Oh.

20:01Oh, oh.

20:04It'd be nice to think you could retire to somewhere like this.

20:07Oh, I suppose the best I could hope was a caravan near Cleveland overlooking the Bristol Channel.

20:12These people would talk to you there, Bob.

20:14You'd have neighbours and friends.

20:16Move out here, you'd probably wind up next to some people like that.

20:21Move out here you'd probably wind up next to some people like that couple that'd hide us out of the pool of a day

20:27I know about a trespassing, but as soon as I see in his face I hear it

20:31He's just the sort of person who makes you shame to be English

20:34Yeah, no fairness, he probably feels exactly the same about you

20:37What? Well, he shouldn't, should he? Because I'm isn't he is. He is. Every time I see his sort of hairs on me back curl up

20:44Yeah, the bourgeoisie

20:46Yeah, a prick in my language

20:48He's the sort of bloke that's sitting in a golf club all day, moaning and groaning

20:52Right letters to the papers about how people don't pull their weight

20:55And then what does he do when he cops his pension, eh?

20:58Body swerved into Spain so you don't get collared when he tucks

21:01Er, when did you last pay your income tax dollars, was it?

21:04What's that going to do with anything?

21:05I'll tell you what I'm going to do with anything

21:06I'll tell you what I'm going to do with anything

21:07I'll tell you what I'm going to do with anything

21:08I'll tell you what I'm going to do with anything

21:09I thought you lads made me a bit thirsty

21:10Oh, it's up there, we're free

21:12Vicky, just bring that over here, will you? I'll take care of that

21:16Right, there you go, gentlemen, help yourselves to a beer

21:18I'll be with you just in a moment

21:20Buono momento

21:21Vicky

21:22I always wondered what I, Vicky, would look like unwrapped

21:32Oh, pathetic

21:34Look, Vicky, while we've got these cowboys around the place

21:37It might look better if you didn't go around flaunting yourself

21:40Who's flaunting?

21:42Oh, come on, do you think that bikini is the height of discretion?

21:44I used to use bigger plasters to cover my pimples

21:47Yes, well, you don't complain as a rule, do you?

21:51Well, as a rule, I don't have seven randy brickies running around a patio

21:54Wait, there's going to be no point in going out there, is there?

21:58I mean, I cannot sunbathe

22:00I cannot go for a swim because there's no water in the pool

22:02I cannot stop here and play me records

22:04because I cannot hear them for the concrete mixer

22:06The arrangement's not to your liking, Vicky

22:08I'm just saying

22:08Is the villa no longer up to scratch?

22:10Well, may I just remind you that two years ago

22:12when you were a manicurist at Maison Andre

22:14your idea of the holiday of a lifetime was a fortnight at Redcar

22:17Listen, I had travelled before I met you, Ali Fraser

22:21Me and me friend Barbara had two successive summers in my golf

22:24Oh, well, in that case

22:26Oh, in that case

22:28Why don't you just give Barbara a bill

22:31See if she'll still get the tent

22:33All right

22:35All right

23:19Hey, I must say, Nav, I'm very relieved, you know.

23:45What about?

23:46Well, this country, I really like it.

23:50I've seen nothing of it yet.

23:51Yeah, I know that.

23:52But based on what I have observed, it will certainly do me.

23:55I mean, everyone speaks English, so you don't have to learn the lingo.

23:59The English papers get here by tea time.

24:01All the bars sell English ale.

24:03And the sun's always bloody shining.

24:05Great.

24:05I suppose there's worse places for holiday.

24:08I'm not talking about an holiday, Nav.

24:10I'm talking about a new life.

24:12What?

24:13You're stopping on?

24:14Well, certainly.

24:15As far as I'm concerned, England's finished.

24:17Someone should stick a bloody great notice on it.

24:20Out of order.

24:21I've no desire to go back and watch it going through its death throes.

24:24This has nothing to do with the fact that if you do go back, they'll slam you and clink.

24:28Er, that has had a bearing on my decision, yeah.

24:32Come on.

24:33Right.

24:34Moxie says he's never got any end.

24:48Ah, yeah.

24:49It's not surprising, is it?

24:51He's among friends doing here, isn't he?

24:52This is where Ali English Billings made for.

24:54I mean, the way this new extra dish in law works,

24:57anybody who's already here can make it hold back, apparently, sir.

25:00No, but I can't imagine never seeing him warm again.

25:04Aye, but what you're forgetting is he's never had a home at home, has he?

25:08Eh?

25:09In the nearest he's had, he's dust with all us and that poxy hunting Dusseldorf.

25:13I mean, he's been a drip to Ali's life, man.

25:33Fellas, fellas.

25:36Fellas, it's the bloody law, it's the old bill, it's the old bill.

25:40Oh, just your luck, Moxie.

25:41They must alter that, shouldn't he?

25:43That's not funny, Oz.

25:44Ray lads, you know the drill.

25:45Come on, action stations!

25:46Let's go, kids.

26:46Buenas tardes.

26:51Buenas tardes.

26:54Can I help you?

26:55What are you doing here?

26:57Eh, tourists.

27:00Vacatione.

27:02You are staying here?

27:04Eh, no, no.

27:06We're at the hotel, Bella Vista.

27:09We're, uh, just visiting for the day.

27:13Friends of the owner.

27:14Ah, Senor Freyza.

27:16Aye.

27:17Aye.

27:17Si, si.

27:18Uh, yes, we're, uh, we're old friends, actually.

27:21Amigos.

27:23Oh, go back.

27:24Oh, it's way back.

27:25Senor Fuentes.

27:26Buenas tardes.

27:29Oh, no, soy a siesta?

27:31No.

27:32Por qué?

27:32Hoy estoy un poco ocupado.

27:34Eh, oye, pardoname.

27:35I'm just asking, uh, Senor Fuentes why he is missing his siesta.

27:39Uh, what's the problem?

27:40Uh, Senor Freyza, today I get a report from people who also live in this area.

27:47A report about what?

27:48Uh, they say, uh, they see seven men in their pool.

27:55English men.

27:57Yeah.

27:57They think, uh, maybe they're thieves.

28:01Oh, no, that sounds a wee bit dubious there.

28:03What do they call themselves, the swimming bandits?

28:05Lost, uh, by los bandidos natadores, eh?

28:08Oh, step away.

28:09Right, you see, you see, there is, uh, an explanation.

28:13It was us, but, uh, we went to the wrong villa.

28:17Yes, um, boys, it's my fault, actually, because, do you know that strange right-hand fork at the tennis side?

28:24Well, I was about brave enough.

28:25Shut up, buddy!

28:27So, we, we thought that the villa was Senor Freyza's, so, uh, we just had a swim, you know?

28:34I see, haven't I?

28:35Yeah.

28:36So, you see, sorry to waste your time, uh, Capitan.

28:38Uh, you got time to wait for a drink?

28:41Thank you, Senor Freyza, but no.

28:42Enjoy your holidays.

28:47I don't believe you guys.

29:07Your first day in the place, and you have already got the police in your case for terrorizing the neighborhood.

29:12Yes, well, it has to be said, like, your streets had names, and your houses had numbers.

29:16This would never happen, would it?

29:17It won't happen again, my pal.

29:20There's a many time I've had to tell you.

29:21You keep a low profile.

29:22While you're here, you keep your heads down and your mouths shut.

29:25Mira, me va a traer una sopa de marizo, y luego unos huevos la flamenca.

29:30Y tráete media botella de vino rioja, blanco, blanco.

29:33No, you don't mind, eh?

29:38No lunch today.

29:40Make the most of it, Miguel.

29:42It's the last meal the paper's paying for.

29:44Why you say this?

29:46They want me back in London.

29:48My editor thinks I spend all my time sitting in the sun, drinking scotch, and looking at pretty girls.

29:53I have something for you.

30:00Makes a change.

30:02Been backhanding you for a month.

30:04Pressure's little to show for it.

30:05Hey, you look for English criminals?

30:08I know where they live, where they eat.

30:10It's not my fault they don't talk to you.

30:12So have you found one who will?

30:15I find several.

30:16Seven?

30:17Hey.

30:18They stay at the Hotel Bella Vista.

30:20Well, that doesn't make them criminals.

30:23They're friends of Senor Fraser.

30:25I see them at his villa.

30:27Alley, please.

30:28Sí.

30:30They say they're tourists.

30:32But I smell they're not.

30:34They sit around the pool.

30:35It has no water.

30:37I am police.

30:39In any country, it's the same.

30:41I know they hide something.

30:45Well, you never know, Miguel.

30:47This might keep me down here another week.

30:50I told you to keep your shirt on.

30:57I know, but I took it off when we were pretending to be tourists

30:59and I forgot to put it back on again.

31:01Well, you'll suffer in the morning.

31:02Ah, I'm suffering now.

31:04Look, Neville, you just have to remember,

31:05we're not used to the sun.

31:07Oh, can't can he, man?

31:09What have you girls been up to today, then?

31:10Well, I...

31:11I'll have another gin.

31:13She gets worse.

31:15Oh, she can have what she likes.

31:16You're only young once.

31:17How about you, my dear?

31:18Oh, I'll just have a sweet cherry, please.

31:20Very wise.

31:21Don't want you getting too high-eyed before our first fox.

31:23Oh!

31:24Tony, for the gin, right?

31:25Yes, that's right.

31:26No problem.

31:27No.

31:29Hello.

31:30Like this idea of having a doss in the afternoon?

31:33Ah, really tight to that.

31:34Ah, the afternoon's the dragiest part of the day, really, isn't it?

31:37Ah, plus, of course, you're foreign, aren't you, here?

31:40Ah, so you haven't got that class prejudice shite to put up with, are you?

31:43Because, well, yeah, I mean, back here, my bloke, like, he's only got to open his gish

31:47and he's pigeonholed with a pleb straight at you.

31:49Oh, aye.

31:49What about you, then?

31:50Well, most people can't understand the tossing weird you say.

31:54What?

31:54Well, I might have a slight accent, but, er, I know a lot of grammar and vocabulary, doesn't

31:59I?

32:00Yeah.

32:00It's dazzling anybody, mate.

32:01Oi.

32:03All right?

32:04Aye.

32:05Just arrived, have you?

32:07Yeah, yeah.

32:08Aye, couple of days.

32:08Under-30 travel club, is it?

32:13Eh?

32:14Oh, we're not with it, man.

32:16We've got stuck on the same fleet.

32:19Holiday, is it?

32:20Nah.

32:21Well, sort of.

32:22We're working for...

32:23What?

32:25Loose lips.

32:26Sing ships.

32:28What?

32:28What's he talking about?

32:29Yes, we, er, we are on holiday, yes.

32:32We're in a club, you say?

32:35Oh, yeah.

32:36What club's that, then?

32:37It's the Wolverhampton and District, er, Aqualong Society.

32:46Long way from the sea, Wolverhampton.

32:48Oh, yeah.

32:49Yes, yes.

32:50How true.

32:51Yes, um, that's why this annual trip is so important to us, you see.

32:56We are, yes.

32:57Of course, for the rest of the year, we have to, er, we have to make do of the reservoir.

33:03Don't we, lads?

33:04Oh, aye, aye, aye, we'll go on, aye, the reservoir.

33:08Yes.

33:11Ian, it's Nick.

33:13Thank you, sir.

33:14How's that?

33:15It's good.

33:16This will be the other.

33:17All right, lads?

33:18Yes, I'm still here.

33:20Listen, and I'm staying here.

33:22That, um, payroll job in Sheffield last week.

33:26Any arrests?

33:28Good.

33:29I think they're here.

33:31I think they, er, pulled a crafty one and came out on a charter with some OAPs.

33:38Trust me, Ian.

33:39Look, get me a flash down here and give me another week on this.

33:43What's this in you about?

33:46There's a new bunch of British bandits in town.

33:49And I'm looking at them.

33:56Ah, you see, you have to start work early.

34:01That's why you Mediterranean people take a siesta, you see.

34:04I mean, you can't work in a bloody midday, son.

34:06It's too hot.

34:07Oh, I mean, our bodies are just after adjust.

34:09Oh, we'd reckon I'd bloody fun to do it.

34:11Well, I've seen them on, then, getting dragged out of pits to come here, that past five.

34:15It's a major adjustment, isn't it?

34:17Well, we didn't pay for much, if we did we.

34:18I remember rightly, that bloke Nick caught out for most of it.

34:22What was this, Lake?

34:24Oh, some dret.

34:26Said he was improper here, Sammy.

34:28Oh, he's a right nosy bastard.

34:30I'd like him.

34:31Oh, aye.

34:32You were happy enough to drink a bottle and a half of his brandy.

34:35So what, Lake?

34:36Doesn't mean I have to like him, does it?

34:37Right, lads, this is real.

34:39Yeah.

34:40Enjoy yesterday's.

34:42Panic.

34:43I think we should post a lookout, you know, like an early warning system.

34:48One of the lads will look out where the rest of a graft.

34:51Oh.

34:52So, uh, what should we do first shift?

34:55Well, I'm gone.

34:55I'm glad for you.

34:57I'm gone.

35:03You Fleaboy?

35:04Yeah, hello, how are you?

35:05How are you?

35:06How are you?

35:07How are you?

35:08How are you?

35:09How are you?

35:10How are you?

35:11How are you?

35:12How are you?

35:13How are you?

35:14How are you?

35:15How are you?

35:16How are you?

35:17How are you?

35:18How are you?

35:19How are you?

35:20How are you?

35:21How are you?

35:22How are you?

35:23How are you?

35:25Blow me. What are you doing here?

35:28Hasn't your paper got something useful for you to do?

35:31I haven't found Dr. Mengley's yet. Why don't you piss off the Paraguay?

35:35I'll buy you coffee.

35:38Still deductible, am I?

35:40I'll run to a coffee.

35:42Good job you don't work with the Daily Mirror, innit?

35:45Old Maxwell's closed his foreign desk, invested all his money in Oxford United.

35:50I must admit, my days here are numbered.

35:54Well, I'm not surprised. Many old costed old crime his old hat now, innit?

35:59A lot of the chaps have moved on.

36:02You're still here, Kenny.

36:04You've already had two exclusives with me, Nick.

36:07You should be talking to Terry Leather.

36:09I won't play ball.

36:11Yeah, well, his old lady's got a heart of conditioning hayment, you know?

36:15He's frightened of her reading something derogatory.

36:18He said if I printed one word about him, he'd rip out my liver

36:22and feed it to the seagulls.

36:24Oh, well, he must like you, then.

36:26I mean, he can get quite stroppy with hacks.

36:28I'm more interested in this new lot.

36:31Who?

36:32Come on, Kenny.

36:34There's a new chap in town, you know who it is.

36:38Let alone seven of them.

36:40Who told you that?

36:42I was with them last night.

36:45Till three in the morning.

36:47Three in the morning, eh?

36:49Well, that must have loosened their tons, mustn't it?

36:51I do know they're friends of Ali's.

36:54Oh.

36:56That team.

36:58Hey, George.

37:24Hey, George.

37:41What's up, lads?

37:42All right, hey.

37:43Keep plenty of water in it, Mott.

37:44All right, hey.

37:45Drain out the north table.

37:46It's too hot, don't you?

37:47All right.

37:48You just dry still, yeah?

37:49Come on.

37:50Come on.

37:51Come on.

37:52Come on.

37:53Come on.

37:54Come on.

37:55Come on.

37:56It's looking good, you know.

37:57Oh, come on, mate.

37:58Come on.

38:04Buenos, Titus!

38:05Yeah.

38:06Yeah.

38:07Yeah.

38:08What, eh?

38:09Well, just, er...

38:11Well, I can see what you're doing.

38:13Good job I'm not from the Ministry of Works, isn't it?

38:16Excuse me, sir.

38:17Excuse me, sir.

38:18How did you get past our lookout?

38:20I just took the precaution of not waking him up.

38:24Don't.

38:25You want your blue team up, do you?

38:27Give him something.

38:28Arse!

38:32Arse!

38:33Get your arse up here!

38:35Sorry to throw you a wobbly, lads.

38:38Is, er...

38:39Ali Fraser in?

38:40No.

38:41No.

38:42No, I'm afraid, um, he won't be back till about four.

38:44Ah.

38:45Oh, well, can't be helped.

38:47I'm, er...

38:48I'm Kenny Ames.

38:49Oh, you've heard of me, then?

38:53Yeah.

38:54We'd done up your place in England, didn't we?

38:56Mind you, it looked a bit different by the time we'd finished with it.

38:59I hope you didn't destroy its essential character, though.

39:02Oh, I love that place.

39:04You know when you stood in the library and look out across the landscape?

39:09It gave you a sense of timeless continuity.

39:12You know, I know what you mean, yeah.

39:15That particular view, it reminded me of a constable.

39:19Bit of a dirty word, that, innit?

39:21If it hadn't been for the constabulary, I'd still bloody well been there, wouldn't I?

39:26Yeah.

39:27Here he is.

39:29Nice one, Hawkeye!

39:31Eh?

39:32What's that?

39:33Eh, no harm done, I'm not the enemy.

39:37Hey, you chaps have got your work cut out here, haven't you?

39:40Certainly have.

39:41What do you do on your day off?

39:43I mean, er...

39:44You've had yourselves a few laughs, have you?

39:46I've no time yet, really.

39:48You know, I've got a yacht in the port.

39:50I mean, if you want to pop down on your day off, you're quite welcome.

39:53My pleasure.

39:54A yacht?

39:55Us?

39:56Yeah.

39:57I mean, we don't have to put to sea.

39:58Nothing has of us like that.

39:59We just have a chin wag and get pissed in the port.

40:02Great, eh?

40:03Sounds great.

40:04Oh, hey, this is where we were yesterday.

40:05Bring your shoulder down.

40:06See this restaurant?

40:07That's where we saw Sean from.

40:08Well, it might have been Sean Connery, Brenda.

40:09That was, Christy.

40:10There you go, Mux.

40:11She's more like it, eh?

40:12You've got your Lamborghinis, playboys, yachts.

40:14It's a bit too extraordiner for me, all of this.

40:15Ah, nah, nah, I'll bring Hazel's straight down here, lorch.

40:17I'll shoot je Marly, shall you?

40:18Have you got your Lamborghinis, playboys, yachts, uh, it's a bit too extravagant for me,

40:20all of this.

40:21Oh, nah, nah, I'll bring Hazel straight down here, log.

40:25I'll shoot you on initial.

40:27I'll shoot you on initial.

40:30There you go, Mux. This is more like it, eh?

40:33You've got your Lamborghinis, Playboys, Yucks.

40:36It's a bit too extravagant for me, all of this.

40:39No, no, I'll bring Hazel straight down here, like.

40:42Well, she's got an issue.

40:44Well, almost, certainly, like, yeah.

41:00Listen, if we go out to sea, like, I'm not going, not on board.

41:03No, it's just drinks, Brenda.

41:05Well, if she gets sleepy, I'm going back to the hotel.

41:08I thought you'd be thrilled about this, Pet.

41:11I mean, how often is it that we get invited on board a yacht?

41:13It's for this yacht, it is. It's better than me.

41:16I mean, this man's a haunted trip. What would you imagine?

41:19What would you imagine?

41:21Here we are, lads.

41:23Nice to see you. Come on board.

41:25Welcome.

41:27There you go.

41:29There you go.

41:31Very good.

41:32Come here, boys.

41:33Come here, Bea, come here.

41:37Come here.

41:48Look at me.

41:49What a pretty little girl.

41:50Oh, what a gorgeous little girl.

41:52What's your name?

41:53What's her name?

41:54Debra.

41:55Oh, she's going to break some hearts one day, aren't you, Debbie?

42:00It's special.

42:25Yeah, Dennis.

42:55Must be siast that time.

42:57His son's bloody murder.

43:01Hey, lads, it's a five-inch break.

43:03Oh, sorry.

43:06Put your backs into it, lads.

43:07Governor's back.

43:09Well, Wally, thought you'd break golf in a tournament.

43:11You're going to keep the crafty iron off, perhaps.

43:13Well, he doesn't trust Vicky.

43:15Not with Wayne around.

43:16Oh, Danny's like his sexual ego and his fervor.

43:25Someone told Danny looks really mad.

43:46Come, yes, we've done out.

43:47Good afternoon, Ollie.

43:52Didn't expect to see you back so early.

43:55That English paper you've got there?

43:58That's right, boys.

43:58I've got an English paper.

43:59Something I'd like to read to you here, boys.

44:01I don't want to take up too much of your valuable time,

44:03but if you just gather around, please.

44:05All right.

44:11Are we all sitting comfortably?

44:13Then I'll begin.

44:15Spain's Costa del Crime is still a haven

44:18for the growing band of Brits

44:20whose Scotland Yard are, quote, anxious to question.

44:24Kenny Ames, 47,

44:25who persists in denying that he was Britain's king of porn,

44:30continues to sun himself on his luxury yacht in Marbella.

44:32Oh, that sounds like the one where you're on is.

44:36No doubt.

44:38His companions, newly arrived from England,

44:42are business associates.

44:48Hey, that sauce.

44:50Hey, look at that, son.

44:51That's spread.

44:52I'll see much better pictures than me than that one, then.

44:54What's Brenda's folks gonna say?

44:56Dennis, what are you doing?

44:58I spoke exclusively to the new arrivals in their luxury hotel.

45:02Then they're what?

45:03They were evasive about their reasons for being in Spain,

45:07one of them claiming that they were members

45:08of a Wolverhampton Aqualung Society.

45:13Research has shown that no such club exists.

45:16Meanwhile, police continue their search for the gang

45:18who pulled off the daring payroll robbery in Sheffield last week.

45:22Who wrote that rubbish?

45:23Yeah.

45:24Nick Wheeler.

45:25Nick, wasn't that geezer that was buying my all the booze

45:29in the bar there, then, he called Nick?

45:30Aye, he was, yeah.

45:33Isn't this your idea of keeping a low profile?

45:34Good one of you, that story's a load of bollocks.

45:36I know that.

45:37And by now half of Fleet Street knows that.

45:39In their effort to discredit their story,

45:40they'll be down here buzzing round you like flies around a jam jar.

45:43No, we'll just tell them we're ordinary gadgies.

45:45Working on my villa, I suppose.

45:47Well, that's precisely exactly what I'm trying to avoid, my friend.

45:50Oh, I'll say, yeah.

45:51Wait a minute, wait a minute, though.

45:52I mean, we can still be ordinary gadgies,

45:54just down here on holiday.

45:56Just have to make it look convincing, that's all.

45:58And how do we do that, Dennis?

46:01Well, er,

46:02you better give the rest a week off.

46:03Good heavens.

46:09Look at this.

46:17I'm not at all surprised.

46:19I nearly had to look at them.

46:21I sometimes wonder if Worthing wouldn't have been a better idea.

46:25Allie, Allie, why would I want to embarrass you?

46:28You know, Kenny, I wake up every morning and ask myself the same question.

46:30If you'd wanted to draw attention to my situation,

46:32you could not have stitched me up better.

46:34You weren't a mark, son.

46:35I wanted to rubbish that Nick Wheeler.

46:37He's been in the right pain.

46:39Now, his credibility's down to Pam.

46:40They'll all his arse back to Fleet Street,

46:42which would be a great relief to me and Terry Leverett and the rest of the geasers.

46:45And I've had to lay my lads off for two days until the heat dies down.

46:48Yeah, well, I can see that's a bit of a pain here.

46:51Well, you could help with you, but Kenny,

46:52you could help to reinforce the impression that they are tourists.

46:55Ah.

46:55You could invite them back in your yacht.

46:57Are you kidding?

46:59Have you seen how much that lot drink?

47:01Yes.

47:02Oh, this is that place somebody was telling us about.

47:14I hope there's a lot of Brits hanging in here.

47:16You could have a gargling now.

47:17Oh, anyway, anyway.

47:18Let's just get out of this, all right?

47:20Oh, that's more liggards.

47:32Morning.

47:32Morning, Al.

47:33Morning.

47:34Morning.

47:34Hey, we'll have three glasses of Sam Eggel to start up with, please.

47:39Pour five more.

47:41You know, Lionel, I need some of the Sheffield mob.

47:43Yeah.

47:43Oh, ha, ha, ha.

47:44Yeah, but we're going to get a lot of that in the next few days.

47:46Good mate, they saw the bastards a book like that, you know.

47:50Sue.

47:51Aye, Sue, I'm serious.

47:53Sold them.

47:53I mean, was liable what they had written a poem, as you know.

47:57Didn't give a lot of money, you know.

47:58Sold people.

47:59Might even get a yacht myself.

48:00No, no, they covered themselves up.

48:03They've got teams of life, check it all out, mate.

48:05I mean, they never say anything directly.

48:07Say.

48:07But we still get the stick, my mind.

48:09The guilt by association.

48:11Well, it's settled it, you know, as far as I'm concerned.

48:13I can't even go back home now, even if I wanted to.

48:16The day's cast.

48:17Oh, piss off.

48:19You're the only bugger anybody could recognise on that picture.

48:22Look, man.

48:24You got them stupid, bloody aviator bins on.

48:27You read at the back there.

48:29You ought to focus.

48:30That'll be 600%, isn't it?

48:32It's all right, Jenny Love, I'll get these.

48:34No, you're all right, Pa.

48:35Thanks anyway, but we've gotten enough trouble lately

48:38with accepting drinks from strangers.

48:40No, dear emotive, mate.

48:42Just seen your picture in a paper, haven't you, like?

48:43Yeah, I'd think they're sticking it up here

48:45with all the other stuff.

48:46I'd rather eat in if you don't mind.

48:49Hey, see, quite frankly,

48:52this has all been a great embarrassment to me, actually.

48:55You see, I don't believe in this unhealthy glamourisation

48:59of the criminal paternity.

49:00You know, I'm a law-abiding taxpayer, actually.

49:03I've no desire to be lumped together

49:05with the Kenny Ames and Terry Leathers of this world.

49:09I mean, behind the facade are their luxury villas

49:12and their blonde lady friends.

49:14You've got to remember something?

49:15They are despicable people.

49:17As far as I'm concerned,

49:18soon they ship back to England,

49:20serve 25 years' penal servitude,

49:21and Parker's better for all of us.

49:22Well, that's a point of view of Coulson.

49:26Very well argued, dear.

49:28Oh, thank you.

49:28Barry?

49:29Barry Taylor?

49:31Terry.

49:32Terry Leather.

49:33Yes, I started a while ago

49:49Just strangers thrown together

49:52Help us heroes, part in a dream

49:56Boy, we made such a crazy team

49:59Out of luck, down on the damn wings

50:03Saw each other through

50:06Left it off, and then we shared a few

50:11Back with the boys again

50:15Back with the boys again

50:22Different reasons left us leaving

50:32Splitting up and going on solo

50:35Chasing circles and getting nowhere

50:38Longing for the way we were

50:42Walk for all, a dog for anyone

50:46Long as they play the game

50:48Sharing chances of taking all the blame

50:54Back with the boys again

50:57Yeah, we're back

51:01Back with the boys again

51:12aberly كان

51:15Yeah, we're back

51:19防止

51:19Defense

51:21Strike

51:22L tre

51:25Phone

51:26Fire

51:28andro

51:29辰

51:32辰

51:35辰

51:36辰

51:37辰

51:39辰

51:40辰

51:41辰

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